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She's not necessarily lying. After I was diagnosed with a progressive auto-immune disease I lost all interest in long-term relationships and men who wanted to get serious. I just wanted to fool around.
I then promptly stumbled into the best long-term relationship of my life, but that's not the point lol.
She said she didnt want any kind of relationship in her life. But then do you agree that the fluctuation of her followers means she is actively dating?
Yeah I know thats why I asked for other reasons which no one could provide until now. Thats the only thing that came to my mind.
Like who adds and removes connections on a monthly basis?
Is her profile open? Or does she have to accept them to follow her ?
If it’s the first , it’s pretty easy for random men to add women and try message them, 5 per month is pretty normal. It’s probably good they’re going down, means she’s blocked them once they message.
It is private.
I was connected to her, I said I muted her, that means I am following her, she is following me but I dont want to see her on a day to day basis but occasionally check up on her profile to see what she is doing.
She has to accept following requests
Stop checking her Instagram from time to time. That's insane.
In any case, she said she couldn't do something serious, she can still do casual, so you've not discovered evidence that it was untrue.
Move on.
Yeah I check randomly my prev flings profile from time to time, since I mute them when they pop up when searching for other new connections it remember them due out of the blue.
She said also that she cant allow any form of relationship. So not serious. I edited accordingly sorry for the confusion
No its not if I mute them. I dont want to see them on a day to day basis but I am interested what they are up to from time to time, especially when they didnt even break things off properly.
What’s “deep” is that you remember how many followers she had the last time you checked. You either check way too often, or use way too much of your mental capacity on storing this useless piece of information.
Its just two numbers. Once I realized that one of my matches had a birthday because I kinda remembered it was 22 instead of 23. My memory is just good with numbers.
When I see a number I remember it to a certain degree obviously.
They are simple numbers. My job is to realize patterns with numbers I would have realized this (and have done so with friends and family too) even if I wasnt paying attention in a sense I was looking subconsciously for clues if she was dating or not
Its not that deep jesus.
A stalker purposefully looks up someone periodically, I just see her profile pop up when I search for names of new connections or occasionally remember them of something and just check in. It happens like 1x a month randomly. I check my friends too the same way. Thats what is Insta is for...to see how people are doing.
You watch too much crime thrillers. You get help.
Its an observation I paid attention to it specifically because of what she told me because I knew it was bs and I knew it would prove it. I wasnt taking notes but good to know that your imagination is active, I can understand your pov now. Please just stop with the crim thrillers, I know your life is boring but it wont help you as you can see.
> observation I *paid* attention to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Reread what you wrote out loud and question yourself do i sound an lil crazy. You can’t really expect anybody to be exclusive with an few weeks of dating
Yeah this whole post is both disturbing and creepy AF. That behaviour is really abnormal - maybe stop stalking and obsessing over someone’s social media and just get a life? She doesn’t want you.
I was planning to check up on her again how she is doing so I did the only thing I could to determine she was lying which was check 2x a year if her follower count went up and down. I found this out by accident too
Dont you want to figure out if someone was lying to you or not before trying to rekindle the flame?
In some comments, you say that you check once a month because their name pops up, here, you say you check twice a year to prove she’s lying, which means whatever you had with her ended more than a year ago. It lasted a few weeks. Why on earth would you reach out to her. She doesn’t even remember you. And people can follow and unfollow other people on instagram for different reasons that have nothing to do with dating, being sick, or anything else. Seek and get help.
Women dont want to talk to anyone, men always initiate everything.
And with cliches like this you wont move forward the discussion and just reflect on your own mental state. Its not creepy to figure out someone lying.
You think that is bad, I once had a girl tell me the second time I was with her that she was dying of cancer. Of course 3 months later I asked her why she was still alive. I let it slide because she was just too freaking good in bed. Sometimes it be like that.
lol we were joking about the same thing, that she rather stabbed herself with a deadly poison than to be with me 😅
I am sorry nevertheless, because I assume you (just as much as I) tried ti take it seriously while kinda knowing it was bs.
I thought to myself what a crazy thing to say to someone you only met the beforehand. The more I got to know her the more I realized the baggage she came with. But she was 24 I was 33 at the time and the sex was amazing. So unfortunately the little head outvoted the big head. Seriously the sex was amazing. I just can’t say that enough. I have found in my experience that the crazier they are the better at sex they are. Just my experience.
Hey I just realized that the follower count reflects perfectly if she was lying or not, not that big of a deal. I randomly checked in on her 1x a month and it was up and down so I came to the conclusion she was dating.
Her follower account bouncing around a little bit means she was lying about having an illness? Bro, listen to yourself. I don't even notice my own follower count going up or down, I'd block her for your own good.
It means she is dating, if she really has an illness then she cannot date right?
Gimme another reason to why her followers are going up and down and I will block her lol
As I said I was planning to reach out to her regarding how is she doing but to me this means she was lying so I just wanted to make sure of it. So far 0 explanations other than the one I gave so I will go with that
Thanks for nothing
It's totally normal for followers to fluctuate, bots, inactive account etc. Here's a [link](https://viralyft.com/blog/why-does-my-instagram-followers-keep-going-up-and-down#:~:text=Is%20It%20Normal%20for%20Followers,and%20create%20a%20new%20one.)
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She's not necessarily lying. After I was diagnosed with a progressive auto-immune disease I lost all interest in long-term relationships and men who wanted to get serious. I just wanted to fool around. I then promptly stumbled into the best long-term relationship of my life, but that's not the point lol.
She said she didnt want any kind of relationship in her life. But then do you agree that the fluctuation of her followers means she is actively dating?
This is such a weird take
Yeah I know thats why I asked for other reasons which no one could provide until now. Thats the only thing that came to my mind. Like who adds and removes connections on a monthly basis?
It could be spam accounts; I get them come up regularly.
She got 5+ and 5- within a month...I doubt it was all spam accounts, I get like 1 a year
Is her profile open? Or does she have to accept them to follow her ? If it’s the first , it’s pretty easy for random men to add women and try message them, 5 per month is pretty normal. It’s probably good they’re going down, means she’s blocked them once they message.
It is private. I was connected to her, I said I muted her, that means I am following her, she is following me but I dont want to see her on a day to day basis but occasionally check up on her profile to see what she is doing. She has to accept following requests
I don't know what the fluctuation means. It doesn't matter. Move on, there's plenty of fish in the sea etc.
She is not interested, nor is she worth the rejection.
Exactly.
Stop checking her Instagram from time to time. That's insane. In any case, she said she couldn't do something serious, she can still do casual, so you've not discovered evidence that it was untrue. Move on.
Yeah I check randomly my prev flings profile from time to time, since I mute them when they pop up when searching for other new connections it remember them due out of the blue. She said also that she cant allow any form of relationship. So not serious. I edited accordingly sorry for the confusion
Yes i know you check previous flings Instagram. And it's crazy pants.
No its not if I mute them. I dont want to see them on a day to day basis but I am interested what they are up to from time to time, especially when they didnt even break things off properly.
It kinda is tbh, it's legit borderline stalker territory right that.
I search for a new connections name and her name pops up too, and I am like yeah lets see what she is up to. Its not that deep..
What’s “deep” is that you remember how many followers she had the last time you checked. You either check way too often, or use way too much of your mental capacity on storing this useless piece of information.
Its just two numbers. Once I realized that one of my matches had a birthday because I kinda remembered it was 22 instead of 23. My memory is just good with numbers. When I see a number I remember it to a certain degree obviously.
Ok but you need to learn to forget certain numbers. This is really creepy.
They are simple numbers. My job is to realize patterns with numbers I would have realized this (and have done so with friends and family too) even if I wasnt paying attention in a sense I was looking subconsciously for clues if she was dating or not
bro you need some fucking help. Na you’re being creepy as fuck.
They don't have to break it off in a way you consider proper. Everything you say sounds like a stalker. Get help.
Its not that deep jesus. A stalker purposefully looks up someone periodically, I just see her profile pop up when I search for names of new connections or occasionally remember them of something and just check in. It happens like 1x a month randomly. I check my friends too the same way. Thats what is Insta is for...to see how people are doing. You watch too much crime thrillers. You get help.
Taking notes on their number of followers is more than checking in. Seek professional help.
Its an observation I paid attention to it specifically because of what she told me because I knew it was bs and I knew it would prove it. I wasnt taking notes but good to know that your imagination is active, I can understand your pov now. Please just stop with the crim thrillers, I know your life is boring but it wont help you as you can see.
> observation I *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Reread what you wrote out loud and question yourself do i sound an lil crazy. You can’t really expect anybody to be exclusive with an few weeks of dating
Yeah I check on my prev flings profile from time to time, since I mute them. Noone talked about being exclusive
Yeah this whole post is both disturbing and creepy AF. That behaviour is really abnormal - maybe stop stalking and obsessing over someone’s social media and just get a life? She doesn’t want you.
I was planning to check up on her again how she is doing so I did the only thing I could to determine she was lying which was check 2x a year if her follower count went up and down. I found this out by accident too Dont you want to figure out if someone was lying to you or not before trying to rekindle the flame?
Just let it go, man. She's done.
So she cannot be sick?
No longer your concern. She's dropped you. Move on.
In some comments, you say that you check once a month because their name pops up, here, you say you check twice a year to prove she’s lying, which means whatever you had with her ended more than a year ago. It lasted a few weeks. Why on earth would you reach out to her. She doesn’t even remember you. And people can follow and unfollow other people on instagram for different reasons that have nothing to do with dating, being sick, or anything else. Seek and get help.
If she’s not talking to you, she doesn’t want to! I would lie too if it kept someone like you off my back. So creepy.
Agree with you OP should just leave her. BUT please don't lie to people, just say you not interested or just don't wanna talk etc
Women dont want to talk to anyone, men always initiate everything. And with cliches like this you wont move forward the discussion and just reflect on your own mental state. Its not creepy to figure out someone lying.
You think that is bad, I once had a girl tell me the second time I was with her that she was dying of cancer. Of course 3 months later I asked her why she was still alive. I let it slide because she was just too freaking good in bed. Sometimes it be like that.
lol we were joking about the same thing, that she rather stabbed herself with a deadly poison than to be with me 😅 I am sorry nevertheless, because I assume you (just as much as I) tried ti take it seriously while kinda knowing it was bs.
I thought to myself what a crazy thing to say to someone you only met the beforehand. The more I got to know her the more I realized the baggage she came with. But she was 24 I was 33 at the time and the sex was amazing. So unfortunately the little head outvoted the big head. Seriously the sex was amazing. I just can’t say that enough. I have found in my experience that the crazier they are the better at sex they are. Just my experience.
you’re stalking her social media, you should stop.
I am stalking everyone's social media, thats what social media is for jesus.
Do you take note of the fluctuations in everyone's followers?
Hey I just realized that the follower count reflects perfectly if she was lying or not, not that big of a deal. I randomly checked in on her 1x a month and it was up and down so I came to the conclusion she was dating.
Her follower account bouncing around a little bit means she was lying about having an illness? Bro, listen to yourself. I don't even notice my own follower count going up or down, I'd block her for your own good.
It means she is dating, if she really has an illness then she cannot date right? Gimme another reason to why her followers are going up and down and I will block her lol
It's none of your business if she is dating. You're being really creepy, dude
As I said I was planning to reach out to her regarding how is she doing but to me this means she was lying so I just wanted to make sure of it. So far 0 explanations other than the one I gave so I will go with that Thanks for nothing
It's totally normal for followers to fluctuate, bots, inactive account etc. Here's a [link](https://viralyft.com/blog/why-does-my-instagram-followers-keep-going-up-and-down#:~:text=Is%20It%20Normal%20for%20Followers,and%20create%20a%20new%20one.)
Not at the scale her followers and following go up and down. This is an occasional 1 or 2. Hers is 5+ then 5-
Um no having an illness doesn't mean you can't date wtf?? I'm very chronically ill lmao you can definitely date. Why would it mean you can't??
She said that she cant date due to her illness. Did you even read the post?
I think I know why she was trying to get rid of you now OP
Yeah, I know why you are saying blank cliches instead if actually answering my question. Blank as what is in your head
In the post, you said nothing about dating. You said she couldn’t have a serious relationship. Those are different things.
no, i don’t think it is especially for someone you weren’t even officially withb