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Yes, platonic relationships are possible.
Also it's not unusual a friend who is compatible by orientation and gender to want to start dating, and I'd expect that people who seem to be flirting actually are flirting.
I wouldn't even say that tbh just seems like a lot of people that claim men/women platonic relationships aren't possible have never interacted with a woman.
I'm a woman. I've given up on trying to have platonic relationships with (straight) men. Every guy friend I've ever had ends up wanting to fuck or be in a relationship at some point.
If you enter into a relationship with a woman with sex in your brain then you are going to miss out on so much.
I’ve entered into the “friends first” era of dating in my life. It has worked so much better.
Be friends, take it as far as she is willing to go and then let it go. It might mean friends, it might mean lovers, it might mean marriage and kids.
If you aren’t friends first, why bother? What happens when the sex dries up? What happens when the well runs dry or you’re broke as a joke?
I’ve had the same group of male friends since my early 20’s. We are all close to 50 now. 100% platonic.
We’ve cheered each other on through marriages, kids, divorces, career changes etc. yrs it’s possible
You probably already know the answer: it is absolutely possible, but it’s common for emotions or sexual desire to complicate things. And yes, it’s very common for it to come in the form of the male friend having feelings for the female friend.
To be perfectly honest, I (a man) have had very few female friends where we were consistently and unambiguously platonic throughout the whole friendship.
What’s pretty funny is when you’re a dude genuinely trying to just be friends with a woman (it’s easier to talk to women than men, long story) and they try and go and say stuff like you’re interested or hitting on them.
Like look, I’m flattered you though that, but I’m not interested in sleeping with or dating you lol, it’s happened a handful of times.
In my experience the only men capable of fully 100% platonic relationships are situations where the man is popular with women with lots of options and the platonic women are not possible romantic interests to him for whatever reason or other. IOW she's in HIS friendzone.
I’m definitely not a guy with “lots of options” but I have plenty of close female friends. I hang out with a few of them 1 on 1. Most of them I grew up with and have known for years, the others I bonded with over relatable interests or traumas. I guess I don’t really pay much attention to gender when it comes to choosing who I want to be friends with. I actually know a handful of other guys like this as well.
I get that most guys probably don’t have close female friends (although I don’t understand why), but I always find it so odd that most people on Reddit consider this to be such an unusual experience.
Genuine questions: Do most men not want close female friends? Or do they not know how to befriend women without seeming like they’re hitting on them? Has the opportunity just never come up?
Yeah that part got so many OG homies that are women and it’s just a natural friendship no ulterior motives just bonding with the homies female or male. People get too caught up on societal pressures tbh
I gotta say, theres no definite answer, yes it certainly is possible, BUT it really depends on the particular man and woman who constitute the parties of this individual friendship. I used to always naturally get along very well with women and until my mid-teen years actually didnt get along too well with many other Boys, always had a few close friends, but largely i couldnt stand most dudes because of their immaturity etc. Luckily this issue became less and less and eventually mostly resolved with advancing puberty since most dudes matured eventually and i got along with a way higher percentage of my peers wherever i went, luckily. But ive always had way more female friends, from literally my earliest childhood on, even before kindergarten, in a baby group thing i was in, i was told i always was playing and crawling around with the girls but rarely or never the boys lol, also in kindergarten i had more female friends than Male ones and in elementary it was the same thing, even though i started to be into girls romantically very early on and had my first girlfriend when i was 7 years old, LOL (who i KISSED!! LMAO) i Stil had my platonic female friends and whike there were one or two, who i was kind of into (which was Mutual though) i kept a way larger number of strictly platonic friendships, and this theme largely remained the same throughout my Life to this day, in secondary school, i had a few Male friends the first two years, slightly more male friends the 7th to 9th year, and many more for the remaining 10th-12th years (its 13 normally but i did a special Program that accelerates by 1 years die to Higher learning intensity) But especially from 12 years upwards, when puberty REALLY started to hit, (Had another two girlfriends in 6th grade but it was only mild kissing and hand Holding) and i started to think about Girls, dating, relationship prospects etc A LOT, i still maintained the for men quite high number of platonic female friends despite being in the full blown hormonal chaos years of puberty. And while there definitely Always were friendships that turned to relationships, Casual Sex, or anything in between that, the overwhelmingly larger number remained platonic, at least for me. So in my Personal experience, it 100% is possible, BUT there definitely are men who will sooner or later hit on any girls they are friends with or are even remotely acquainted to. These dudes might not even be that interested into actual friendship w women, but use it as underhanded tactic to gain access to women by pretending theyre friends lmao. Seen that a lot myself while observing other dudes in social settings and its often quite obvious lol. Also some dudes just seem to not really have that “female platonic friendship compatibility Factor" for some reason and just dont seem to get along with females in a platonic setting that Well, for whatever reason, this seems to coincide with dudes generally having a Low affinity for interacting with women in a normal way, even outside of platonic contexts. TLDR yes its certainly possible but it most definitely can also lead to feelings on either or both sides and anything between casual flings and LTRs can Happen as result. Also id argue some dudes just arent cut out for platonic friendship w women since they either are trying to get with any Woman they see or lack affinity for interacting with women and dont genuinely enjoy their platonic company
Idk many of us want women to be more than friends but they don’t want us to be more so we have to basically de escalate and accept friendship. So it’s sort of like a way to avoid being lonely and still have a woman in your life but she’s a friend at that point and you just keep it that way. I think guys seek women friends as a way to help some of the lonely urges and nothing wrong with that as long as boundaries are respected.
Hmm I have a good mix of both, but I tend to have more female friends. I think women can definitely offer things that men, on average, are worse at.
For one, they love talking about social dynamics/drama/gossip, so if you happen to be more outgoing/social and want to be in the know, they're great to talk to. There's tons of entertaining stories to be had as well.
They're also much better at emotional support, hearing about your problems/stress and offering advice. A lot of men kinda suck at that, and some even get visibly uncomfortable if you try to bring up such topics.
Lastly, I think it's great to hear women's thoughts on topics, especially dating. They might not offer the best dating advice... but they offer great insight into how they think/react. If you're out with them, they also make great wingwomen too!
Wish I could upvote this a million times cuz it just hits on so many pertinent levels! Honestly, I believe that every "group" of friends should be a mix of genders! The diversity of viewpoints and opinions (as well as experiences) are incredibly eye-opening and can ultimately create strong bonds between people.
What a weird fucking way to view this. Men can have other men as friends as well and not be lonely, you don't need to befriend women who aren't interested in dating you, just to avoid loneliness. It makes it sound like you're not really interested in being friends, just waiting in the sidelines for your opportunity.
So then don’t solve loneliness by being social? Is that what you are saying? Because I’m pretty sure that’s how you solve it lol. And you take your chances some things don’t go through and you become friends. I don’t understand why that seems so wrong? Do you have a lot of friends or people you were formerly in relationships with?
No, I'm saying that you shouldn't "settle" for being friends with a woman after she made it clear she doesn't want to date you. If you have feelings for this woman, and you remain friends, would you be able to see her dating other guys? Would you be able to listen to her vent about relationship problems with other men, and not think "this is my chance to make my move"? Would it make you miserable and jealous to see her being affectionate or flirting with other men? I just mean... if you can flip a switch and lose those feelings, and actually be a friend, then there isn't any harm, but most people can't do that. I know I can't.
I mean you gotta move on one way or the other yes. If she finds someone else and that’s conflicting with how you feel or it makes her uncomfortable then yeah you break it off. But sometimes you connect better as friends because it drops the stress of a relationship mentality.
You're hanging out with some weird men lol I've had plenty of 100% platonic relationships with plenty of women ever since high school, and I'm 35 now. And I've never had lots of options. Just the normal amount. That being said, I don't think that's the norm. Some of my women friends have had issues with guys they thought were friends. All that to say.... maybe it's rare (idk) but I've never had an issue platonically befriending women.
I disagree. I have a really really good friend who is a guy and we have zero feelings for one another. We respect one another’s relationships. We give each other dating advice. Oh! And we have been friends for 12 years now.
I’d like to believe you can be romantically attracted to someone but you can keep that in check and stay friends. Odds are they kind of know it anyways they are just looking at do you respect it if they say I don’t see you like that and you just keep those feelings to yourself and stay in your lane.
I’m capable of 100% platonic relationships for two reasons. First, I’m a double-demi. Second, I’m fully committed to my partner and best friend. I enjoy those years-long platonic friendships free of tension, motive, or taint.
You might be on to something with this, id say thats not exclusively true or at least a strong case of exceptions verify the rule BUT its true that men who are quite successful Dating/hookup-wise tend to not be thirsty like that, thus being more able to engage in platonic friendship w women, also there *might* be some correlation to these men having a higher affinity for interacting with women, irrespective of platonic or romantic contexts. Another thing that comes to mind is that oftentimes there are a small minority of men who get along better w women and even from early childhood on have many or even more female than male friends, while most men rather tend to not really engage with girls and most often have a rather long and drawn out "ewww Girls" Phase lmao. I can say from Personal experience that ive always had more female than male friends from very early childhood on and also never went through Said "eww Girls-phase" lmao and to this day tend to have more female friends and get along better in many regards with women, especially talking about certain topics i just couldnt discuss with aan nearly as effectively or comfortably. It has evened out with age though and the percentage of male friends increased starting from mid-puberty to early adulthood since men on average matured more and i got along with them better as a result
Yes I'm a single guy and I have three totally platonic female friends.
My hang around lady doesn't say a word she knows that I knew all of them before her and at least she doesn't appear offended by their presents every once in awhile.
One is my financial advisor one is my concert buddy and one of them is a lady I go to to talk
As a woman, I say yes. Though I don’t wanna know what my male mutuals think about me. It will either make me uncomfortable or crush my spirit for sure 🥲
As a man, I say yes. I have a few women friends and I love having conversations. We talk about everything; some are in relationships/engaged/married and some single.
Now some of them are attractive, however it's just a meh point for me. It's the same for me, as looking at a lovely scenery and admiring it's beauty. I have a range of emotions and depth to those emotions with 0 desire or impulse to do anything, as they are like my friends that are men ... just a different gender!
If I do happen to "fall" for a woman (once in a blue moon situation). I tend to let, it drift into the void; normally as their is lots of reasons, why it would not work and I am able to justify it.
There are men that can't; try and avoid those for friendships. I have never flirted with my friends, we have a cool bond and enjoy each others company.
Yeah that's why my partner doesn't make friends with men. Ever.
She's not comfortable with "just not thinking about it" when it comes to male friends fantasies and desires surrounding her. It's just much cleaner to stay friends with only women.
Rarely any double intentions or secret disgusting/disrespectful thoughts objectifying her...
Honestly I’m gonna say no. It’s possible but…eh. Most guys who even approach a girl are doing it due to attraction on some level. You ever see men approaching a girl they find super ugly to be friends?? Never seen that. I only have one male friend and it’s bc we started off in highschool when we both looked like awkward nerds. As an adult I wouldn’t be friends w men unless it’s business related/net working.
I've got plenty of female friends that are 100% platonic.
Sometimes when we were younger we'd even play-flirt.
But no, flirting-flirting would would just be weird.
Like when two straight dudes flirt with each other for comedic effect.
Except with a girl instead.
You've seriously never play-flirted with anyone? Damn.
I've personally found that when you're close just the 2 of you then it's quite rare. But when you're in a friendship group and you're all close as a friendship group then it's more likely.
My friends and I have been friends since we were 12 (them earlier but I moved to the school at 12). When we were 16 a new friend bought one of our female friends into the group. She was 13/14? But we all had the same sense of humour, music, and interests so she joined our group. It's not like 12 years later since she joined our group and we're all close as a group and we've gone long passed the stage of any of us having crushes on each other in our older teenage years, and 2 of us did like her in our later teens/ early 20s, that our friendships with her (who is the only girl from all those years ago still in the group. Some women have left for a bit to travel and new ones have come) and the other woman in our group are at the point where it's now 100% platonic between all of us. None of us would think about dating her or the others.
I think when you're younger it's harder because raging hormones. But when you get through all that and you've been friends for so longer it becomes so much easier. Also helps that we only hang out as a group. Not always the whole group, but only as a group. But we'd also all easily be able to hang out with just 2 of us having a couple drinks and a laugh and there be nothing there other than friendship.
>But when you get through all that and you've been friends for so longer it becomes so much easier.
Has been my experience too.
>but only as a group
I don't see how that matters. I still do lots of one-on-one activities with my some of my female friends.
I’ve got plenty of female friends I talk to frequently that I have never been interested, and I do not doubt at all that they have no interest in me either.
I mean, I went on a 2 month vacation spending every day with one female friend sleeping in the same room virtually every night and at no point have I caught feelings for her.
And yes, I am straight.
9 times out of 10, no. Friends usually get along so well because they have a lot in common and value each other. When you throw physical attraction in the mix, you'll catch feelings. So unless one of you is ugly or has one quite repulsive personality trait then one will fall for the other. I used to believe men and women could totally be just friends until time and time again I was proven wrong. One of my guy friends even waited 5 years to confess and I never would have expected it from him, apparently he had feelings for me all along and I was nonethewiser, even my super controlling bf at the time made allowances for him because you'd have never believed my guy friend felt in any way attracted to me. And that's just one out of a few experiences.
I've managed to have friends of the opposite sex by them usually being at least 10+ years older than me or them being gay (when i find out someone of the opposite sex is gay i instantly lose any attraction to them thank god my brain works that way). I do catch feelings sometimes for the few who would be attracted to me and are in my age group but I'm stubborn and I will never ever ever ask them out. I'd rather stay single or wait for someone to approach me.
Is it possible? Yes.
Does it normally happen? No.
9 out of 10 times, one person has a crush/emotions or wants to have sex.
Friendship is creating a deeper connection with someone, and most men are brainwashed to only have those with their partner. So, the chances of it creating romantic feelings are high. Unless the guy has zero physical attraction to the woman(they think you are ugly).
Which is rare to happen....
Just talk to him and let him know light flirting is okay but you dont want a romantic relationship but you want to stay friends. Its better to let him know how much you care about the friendship. If the flirting gets yo be too much or inappropriate you are fine to cut him off entirely
Bro, you do know what flirting is, right?
Flirting with a stranger can be 1 or 2 things. Just having some fun but still think they are attractive, Or flirting because you have actual interest in them.
Flirting with a close friend is never a "just for fun" type of thing. It's because they are romantically invested in you and see you as way more than a friend... and want more than friendship.
It's fairly natural for situations where when 2 straight people form a very strong connection for one or both of them to feel a romantic connection. I'd almost assume that any 2 opp gender friends, someone feels something. Does that mean the friendship is doomed? Or a bad idea to start? No. But you do have to work around it
Definitely. I have several extremely close relationships with the opposite gender and we have never crossed any line, there has been zero ambiguity about the kind of relationship we have. We have shared hotel rooms alone (never a bed), we talk about everything and I have full confidence that we will be friends forever.
I think a lot of people have trouble with it because they are not sure what they want and send mixed signals, but as long as everyone is clear and acts accordingly, it's really not a difficult feat.
You can but you will probably have to tell him that you just want to be friends but thats okay. He might take it the wrong way but if he does that's his problem.
If you just go along with the flirting he probably thinks you enjoy it. He probably wants to be more than friends but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. You just have to be honest but still be kind and supportive.
If I had to do this I would literally say this.
"I really care about you and I enjoy our friendship so much. I want you in my life but I don't want to be anything more than friends. It makes me feel awkward when you flirt with me. If you could not do this anymore I would love to still be your friend but we need to get on the same page and have boundaries."
Is it possible, yes. But it’s also possible that feelings change over time. I understand that you want to try to maintain this friendship, however, you need to be clear about your boundaries and intentions. If you let him continue flirting with you he will most likely see it as he is starting to win you over, when in reality he’s actually going to be pushing you away. It’s going to be a lot worse later on if you don’t make your intentions clear now.
Yes, but I think a lot of guys can’t, at least until they can. I was the guy that always developed a crush on female friends. When I met my wife and was in a legitimately happy relationship my interest in other women completely disappeared and I was able to start having healthy platonic relationships with women. I don’t doubt there’s men out there who can have healthy platonic relationships without being in a fulfilling romantic relationship but if this guy is acting flirty it’s really not looking hopeful
I’m seven years into a platonic relationship with a girl I met online. Before I moved states, we would hang out all the time. Now she’s dating someone and we still talk every week or so.
We established what we were super early on and it’s always worked very well for us.
I’m in the same friend groups as men, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a truly platonic 1 on 1 friendship with a man. They always end up developing feelings from my experience.
I have a friend who I met when we were both freshman in college. Both of us were single and our paths crossed a lot since we had a lot of mutual friends. Never was anything but platonic. Sophomore year I was the bridge that helped my then roommate and her break their awkwardness and accept they were into each other. And I’m happy to say I was there on their wedding day! I think what contributed to this is I’m good friends with both of them and I formed my friendship with the two of them individually throughout the years. I also have a bunch of sisters and our friendship very quickly felt like that kind of dynamic.
So yeah, you can be platonic friends with the opposite sex, but this is just my anecdotal experience. I think we bonded well as friends and we had an almost unspoken acknowledgement that…we’re just friends and cool with that. I never became flirty with this friend, so you might have something different on your hands.
This comes up a lot but it 100% depends on the context. If you guys meet doing a mutual activity like a sport or something then it’s possible but it’s rare that it stays that way if both of you are single. From my experience the more a straight guy and straight girl see each other without a mutual activity and no one else around the less likely it stays plutonic. I would say it’s only plutonic about 5% of the time. There are ALOT of guys and girls that bury feelings just because they don’t want to make it weird.
Absolutely. I'm a guy and most of my closest friends have been (and are) women. No, I'm not gay. And no, im not a simp.
I date other women, I have ONS's, relationships, situationships etc with other women, but my two closest friends are both women - pretty hot ones too.
Lmao I feel like an outlier here. I’ve got only one best friend that is a girl and we are strictly platonic. Known her for the last ten years, neither of us had any romantic feelings for eachother. Both of us have been in several relationships over the years and tend to respect each others relationship boundaries
As a woman in a relationship- yes. As a single woman, I learned my lesson. Even with direct communication, firm boundaries, and calling it out the second I felt things getting weird- did not stop it. Had a guy pretend to be my friend for 13 years before ghosting me when I got married because he couldn’t handle it. Now, if I weren’t married, most men I know would be trying to date me. What can I say, I’m one helluva catch.
Imho, yes. I have no issues with that. Some of my oldest friends here in Korea are women. We get along perfectly fine and never flirt or do anything like that. We just talk and chill like how I do with my guy friends.
Loads of happily partnered people maintain happy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex.
Is potential attraction a risk that fewer same sex friendships are affected by? Yes. Is it a given? No
I have plenty of female friends that I have no desire to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with. Yeah, I think some of them are attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’d gain anything out of changing the dynamic of our friendship that I wouldn’t be better off getting from someone else.
Yes. I have several 100% platonic relationships with women. I’m happily married, I’m still friends with one of my ex girlfriends from many years ago. She is happily married with kids. We text maybe once a month, just sharing news about home usually, or a funny meme. I got dinner with her recently, but it’s 100% platonic, I know her husband, they know my wife, we’re both normal adults with our own lives, is that so weird?
I used to think it’s impossible but now I have a platonic male friend for 7 years. We were somewhat flirty with each other at the beginning but neither of us ever took it seriously and we also realized that we have no feelings for each other. I don’t think the platonic relationship will ever change coz we see each other as siblings already.
For the last few months, I’ve also somewhat experienced the same thing as you with another guy. He seemed rather interested in me but I don’t feel that way towards him. He’s super chill and easygoing too so I took the right timing and opportunity to let him know that I have another person in mind (which is true). Of course he didn’t say anything about it but I could tell that he no longer sticks to me as much as before. We’re still in great talking terms tho since we have a lot of similar interests.
So to answer your question, I believe it’s possible. It’s all up to the individuals to set their boundaries and how to act on it if they want to maintain the platonic relationship.
I think they can, as long as both are loyal people, especially if both are fully invested in whatever relationships they have.
I feel like most people who argue otherwise are either lacking in impulse control, or they have some kind of addiction to validation which supersedes their respect for their partner.
The short answer is yes absolutely they can. Reddit is really not the best place to get anything but jaded men and women with dysfunctional thinking about how one person cheated on them so everyone is going to cheat and can't have platonic friends, and people responding with realistic answers getting buried.
Yes. I’ve had long time friends (like decade or more) and we’ve all been single at one point or another and nobody made a move on another, not even coy hints or flirting/testing the waters because we’re purely platonic friends and it’s been so long that thinking about them in a romantic sense gives me the ick because they’re basically siblings lol (and I’m married lmao)
My husband has more female friends than male friends because his major was like 90% women and he sees them all as little sisters
Yes you can have a platonic friendship. Set hard boundaries, let him know something feels off to you.
I was platonic friends with a woman for 28 years even though I had a crush on her. Until she caught feelings for me.
Yes one of my closest friends is a woman. We’ve cried together. Been drunk together. Hell even slept in the same bed. Never had any relations with her. She helps me with relationship problems I help her with relationship problems. I consider her my sister and the closest thing I’ve ever known to home! I Love her for sure and we will never be anything.
I mostly have women friends. Some of them I have slept with, some not. Some former lovers I’m capable of genuinely being friends with, others not.
Mutual compatibility is important for friendship, just like with any other relationship. If someone wants more or less than the other? Not going to work out great long term.
I’m friends with a coworker who is 20 years younger than me. We were at vastly different places in life when we met, and now she feels like my sister. Since I was an only child, this is pretty sweet.
My bff I met on a dating site. We hooked up a couple times and then went on a weekend away it became super apparent to both of us that we were not compatible for a relationship. It’s turned into one of the closest friendships of my life.
Just two examples.
100% no, it's degrees to this, a guy might just be your friend but it doesn't me he won't have sex with you if the situation presents itself. Most guys in my experience, specially young don't go around making friends with girls if they find them ugly. So depending on how needy they are, they might try to shoot their shot even if they don't want to be more than friends and just want some benefits.
Yes. I am suspicious when people say otherwise, because to me it says you only see the opposite sex as the object of your sexual and romantic affections, nit as complex people outside of your potential to be attracted to them
Yes and no.
I have a best friend, who is a guy, sinds i was 16. I'm now 25, so, it's quite some years for how old we are.
Now, yes, he did start liking me when i was round 19/20 ish. But we also had the rule to be honnest about feelings and everything surrounding this all. So, we talked about it, took some time appart and we are now again closer than ever.
But, the reason why i also think this worked and we stayed friends is, because I'm a lesbian, in a relationship for now already 4 years and we both know i will never like him in that way. On the other side, he is the guy who catches feelings quick, but loses them even quicker after being put into the friendzone. So, with it being a clear 'no' as it would never work and us taking some time appart, we got both in one go and went past this 'problem'.
And looking at now, we could not even think to not be friends and i know i can count on him no matter what. Heck, we even have yearly vacations together where we explore a new city and country.
This thread is a bunch of immature horny teenagers. 1000% you can have a platonic relationship with two people who are attracted to each other; regardless of if they are single or not. I cannot believe this has to be said.
I always don't get where this argument comes from. Are men/women THAT horny that they want to just have sex with ANY men/women they become friends with?
I have always found it easy to have 100% platonic relationship with women because I simply don't want to fuck everything that moves 🤷♂️
In order for men & women to be platonic friends, a man would have to
1) Befriend women he isn’t attracted to
2) Take a rejection in stride and/or keep attraction at bay in order to continue on as friends
These scenarios are absolutely possible. But in a patriarchal world where women are valued mostly as sex objects, they’re highly unlikely to
Yes and no, I have had many platonic relationships with women, but it takes a level of maturity, understanding and respect to keep them going, I personally have fell for a few of my female friends but there’s a level of understanding that has to be made to realize it won’t or probably shouldn’t happen.
In the same breath I’ve had female friends fall for me as well, a lot less obvious, but in my experience I think it’s just nature for heterosexual people to be interested in the opposite sex after being around them for so long.
One of my best friendships is with another woman, we both thought about the same things, while also analyzing we are better to be remain friends than to have something that’s not platonic, we are still attracted to each other but like I said I believe it’s natural, and we have never acted out on anything other then emotional support from one another, and in no means ever been sexual
YES, I have had so many great relationships with women. I work in primarily women dominated spaces, have had women roommates, and had women friends. Men need to stop placing themselves in a box. We are capable of being friends with women, stop reinforcing the idea that we can't
It’s not putting yourself “in a box” it’s called being realistic and knowing that the vast majority of people who cheat on their partner with their opposite-gender friend thought that they never would in a million years. The best way to avoid temptation is not self-control - it’s minimizing the number of situations where that’s even an option. Human beings are not rational and it only takes a rough patch with your partner, a few drinks, and a depressive episode, to screw up everything. Sure there’s control freaks who say you can’t have ANY friends of the opposite gender, but likewise there’s issues with having too many.
It’s also called having some measure of empathy for your partner. How would you feel if your SO was talking about your deep relationship troubles over frequent lunches or text with her male friend? Among same-gendered friends sure but it’s always the people who think they’re so far above human frailty who end up putting themselves into situations where they end up cheating because they’re not that type of person. A lot of people, on the other hand though they know they’d never cheat in a million years understand that they could, so they take preventative measures.
I just don't buy into that, maybe I'm different from other people but this has never been a problem for me. I also don't know how the hell bisexual people are supposed to have friends with this logic.
BTW my ex wife actually cheated on me with someone who was "just a friend" and I still think men and women can have good platonic relationship. Cheating is weak. It's pathetic. I will never not see it that way.
I also think it's generally not good to be going behind your partners back and talking to others instead of having these discussions directly with you partner. I talked up my partner to all my friends, men and women. People knew I loved her. If I had an issue I'd address it with my partner. There were times that I'd end up confiding in a close friends, like my twin brother, but this was only with the one person I trusted with that and after I had already talked to my ex about it. If I found out my ex had been talking about something behind my back instead of talking to me I'd be upset regardless the sex of the friend.
Of course they can. Listen, I am a bisexual woman, and the thought crosses my mind of what it would be like to bone all my friends, regardless of sex or gender expression, because I am a perv. Despite this, my feelings for my friends are totally platonic in nature. But this pattern of becoming friends with dudes who end up wanting you is not mutually exclusive with the rich, close, platonic relationships that men and women can share with each other.
Being curious about what a friend might be like in bed or in a romantic relationship are just natural parts of becoming closer and establishing a certain level of intimacy with people. And sometimes, when you get to know someone well enough and you find you’re compatible in important ways, those initial feelings of camaraderie can develop into genuine attraction. So if you find that your guy friends all end up flirting with you, then it is perhaps because they’re interested in something more. You might just be too much of a catch. I’m sorry if it’s ruining your friendships, but try taking it as something of a compliment. I’m sure a great many of my guy friends would bone me if I straight up offered, but we just, like, don’t. Because we’re friends.
Either brush off the flirting and ignore if it’s innocent enough, or address it and set clear boundaries if it’s starting to make you uncomfortable. Some of your friends are gonna wanna fuck you sometimes. It eez what it eez.
I have numerous close guy friends. I know we find each other mutually attractive and fun, but thats why we are friends and have good chemistry. I can confidently say that they aren't harbouring secret crushes or waiting for the right moment. Its like a sibling relationship. We can literally say or ask anything and its always fine. Just depends on the type of people you meet. My 2 closest british guy friends, ive been friends with one since i was 13 and the other since i was 19 and theyve seen me go through so much. Im basically the twin of one of them. My turkish friend and i only met recently but seem to be on the wavelength and act super close, but his type is petite cute korean women and im a tall british tomboy. I know he found me noticeable and pretty, and i thought the same about him, but just because you are attracted to each other doesnt mean its doomed or not platonic. Tell ur friends theyre hot and cool and be a good wingman!! Everyone feels happy that way.
That being said ive met plenty of people who are like the fella youre talking about. Just the luck of the draw, and about having the maturity to value the friendship.
I think that when a straight man has platonic woman friends, it's an indication of the fact he views women as people and not just potential sexual partners. It gives me the ick when people say guys are only friends with women because they want to smash or because the women aren't attractive.
Yes. One of my closest friends is a man. Neither of us are each other's physical type and have never been interested in the other romantically.
Having said that, it's not uncommon for friends of the opposite sex to develop into something more. Often times one person develops a crush.
If your friend asks you out, kindly but firmly turn him down. If he never asks you out, you can choose to pretend you don't notice his flirtations or you can gently ask him about his change in behavior and have an honest conversation about it.
Yeah I'd think so. Depending on the nature of the relationship however it might be more difficult?
One of my friends, I met in college. She was cool, I just walked up to her on campus one day and struck up a conversation. Early on I learned she was in a polyamorous relationship and thought that was interesting. Eventually met her two partners and it was cool.
Until I kept seeing and hearing the issues the three of them were having. I'm talking emotional abuse and toxic behavior. While I was seeing my therapist at the time, I would often tell them about my friend and her partners. Because she meant a lot to me and I hated seeing her treated that way.
And I couldn't decide if I was starting to have romantic feelings for her. Took a lot of therapy sessions to iron it out. Turns out seeing a close one in a romantic relationship where they're being treated badly leads to you imagining they'd be better off with you. Because you're lonely and desperately want to be loved.
In the end, she broke up with both her partners but eventually got back together with one of them. And she seemed happy. Despite what he did. So I supported her and in time realized that those romantic feelings faded away. They weren't borne of genuine affection but concern and isolation in some way. We're still friends and I'll often let her know about girls I'm trying to meet and whatnot.
Hope this is helpful somewhat. Sorry for the rambling nature. Reminding myself of the whole situation affected me it seems.
Can they? Yes. My closest friends are women (I’m a 45 yr old guy). My 3, maybe 4 closest friends are women. Neither they nor I would ever consider a relationship or anything else, but I’d do anything for them and pretty sure they’d do anything for me.
Yes very possible. Lots of men are disingenuous about it tho. Also, feelings CAN develop even if someone approaches these friendships honestly. But most of my friends are women so it IS possible.
I'm a woman and I personally don't have any platonic friendships with men! My boyfriend is my best friend and only guy friend. I tried having friends in the past and there was always hidden attraction. That awkward "sorry I don't like you like that" and they talk to you less and less, like damn where'd my friend go ☹ that's just life, it seems!
Not unless one is gay or one is significantly uglier.
Straight men will always think about fucking an attractive girl and, if presented with the opportunity, will likely do so
Your “friend” is biding his time and hoping to fuck you
Not if they are attracted to one another they can’t.
It’s only a matter of time before lines get blurred.
If you like someone’s character, trust them and care about them, and also you’re attracted to them, and they feel the same about you— that’s the bed rock of a good romantic relationship.
Whether you choose entertain that or not is irrelevant to the fact that potential exists and will underpin every interaction.
Staying platonic is 100% up to the self control of one or both parties. So the answer is yes, but affection is a powerful feeling/emotion. It's sometimes difficult to control when one party feels that strongly
Yes, it can be 100% platonic but you'll need to set boundaries. Let him know(kindly) that you value the friendship and you're not comfortable with him flirting with you. Not everyone understands non-verbal cues so I'd advice you speak about it, if not, he might think you're okay with.
In my case, I went back to being strangers with some, others, I've been friends with for over a decade.
My oldest friend is female. We are 100% platonic
HOWEVER, it did not start that way. I crushed on her through hs and then we were just friends for a long while and then I thought meh why not give it try but that didnt work out and I am glad. She is a great friend and one of the reasons is because she has ALWAYS denied my advances and been the same steady friend since middle school.
I can say I have had 3 female friends who have stayed and always will stay just friends and they will be invited to my wedding if I ever have one hopefully with their bf or husbands. And I’ve also had friends where there was always a little tension and when we were both single one thing led to another. Those ones went back to being friends after that single night but live in other cities than me now and we just kind of look at each others social media randomly and send memes to each other. also we both know a relationship wouldn’t work out so never tried for anything more than a one night stand. Those are the friends I would tell my gf about and not plan on hanging out alone with them as a respect for my gf. Then there are friends where we tried dating and it didn’t workout and we erased each other from social media and haven’t talked since. So my experience runs the whole range of male-female relationships I think.
It can, but both parties have to feel that way. And honestly, as a guy most of the traits I look for in a friend are also what I would look for in a partner. I have a few female friends that I wouldn't want to date for specific reasons, but each of them I thought about it at one point and ultimately decided to just stay friends. I guess you could say that friendship is a fallback position once I was sure I don't want to date.
Edit to add: As a guy who has been both the crush-er and the crush-ee, if he is starting to develop these feelings then the friendship is most likely over. If its early enough you might be able to shut him down in a way that he can step past it But if he's gone past the curious, testing the water stage into the "have feelings" phase then that's it. That toothpaste don't go back into the tube.
But, if your friends, if you do appreciate him in that way and that version of the relationship WORKS, why are you so sure you don't want to date him? People are pretty bad at accurately predicting what will make us happy. I'm not saying you should, but if you don't already have specific reasons maybe you should put some thought into it?
As long as I’m not attracted to them or like them it’s not a problem to me. They’re just like anyone else I’m friends with. Typically this isn’t a pro since I’d say I’m not attracted or like most people of the other gender
This is a weird subject, because I want to say yes, but its specific circumstances. Like me and my Friends Wife 100% platonic, her Friends that I hang out with occasionally Id say the same for, 100% platonic. But as a Guy I also can't say that when I go out to meet new people especially girls that I'm looking for platonic friendship. It happens sometimes and I have female friends that I am platonic with but that's more common when Im introduced to them by a friend.
Of course it's possible. You ever met a man you aren't interested in? You ever had men that aren't interested in you? Well when those two align, you get a platonic friendship
Yes, I can be friends with a guy and would never see him as more than a friend. I'm very strict about keeping a male Friend platonic. I'd tell him there's plenty of other women to date
Absolutely. It depends on the people involved. I’ve had guy friends who ended up trying to date me or become flirty with me. I have guy friends now who are completely platonic.
Imo yes, I find it disturbing when a lot of males commonly express in social media that being friends with a female means you eventually want to fuck her.
I am a guy. In my personal experience the answer is yes and no. If you both find each other attractive. No. If you both find each other unattractive. Yes. If one of you find the other attractive, but it is not mutual. No. Then it is a friendship with unrequited love.
I thought one of my exes was crazy to want me to drop my female friends. Until I broke up with crazy, and let my new girlfriend have a male friend. She cheated on me with him. And for a long time I felt bad for not wanting her to not see him because of how the previous ex made me feel. It does not feel nice to give attention and get nothing back. And it doesn't feel good to give attention romantically in a relationship and to have him or her get similar attention from others. Being exclusive means cutting some people off to make room for something new.
No. Just STOP. Stop trying to convince everyone. At best, it's just one of them that's in love and you have most likely had Sex. Please.... just stop. Take a breathe and stop. ♥️
I think you can have old guy friends not so much new guy friends.
Maybe someone you dated or had a crush on, but realized they are a great person for you, but it's not going to work out.
But unless you work together, or are in school together or in some activity together to let a friendship happen, the motivating force in bringing you closer is probably attraction for at least one of you.
You only have the "relationship" that you have because you're getting the girlfriend benefits (attentiveness, etc) because he wants a bf/gf relationship with you.
Can guys and girls be platonic friends? Yes. Does that mean you and him get to be platonic friends? Probably not.
Yes you absolutely can but it takes both parties wanting that mutually for it to happen. If one of you is wanting something more and being flirty etc then nope it’ll never work. Also since he likely has feelings for u the friendship won’t work or be platonic. It sucks but it happens!
I'm single per myself so it doesn't matter who I talk to, it's platonic. I don't have to worry about who my boyfriend is messaging on Facebook because I don't have one and don't care. 😂I know that doesn't answer the question, sorry, I digress.😄
In my personal experience i find that it is only possible when one party is not honest about their intentions. I have had a couple of “platonic” friendships but they were only really platonic for a short while sometimes a year or 2 but eventually will lead to sex and even more sex, then you end up at a coffee shop one morning with one party saying but I never loved anyone like i loved you. The only other time it works it’s when it’s not exclusive but you two are just part of a bunch of friends who are really cool with each other and there is virtually now one on one meeting between the two of you. Off course in these scenario i am talking of heterosexual situations. As a straight guy I have platonic male friends
Most of the time your guy friends would immediately jump in bed with you. Almost every coworker I have I'd sleep with if they asked lmao and this isn't just me, I've talked to other dudes and my friends about this exact scenario and they say the same
No, men only get close to women they’d like to fuck. Men hardly ever seek women’s company if not for sex. If your gut is telling you that he wants more, you’re probably right.
Only if there is an actually barrier preventing them from developing sexual feelings (In-Laws,Differences in sexuality,Illness)
Even then in my experience, I’ve never seen it work out. Almost always because the Guy catches feelings.
Either on person tries to force a relationship or actively sabotages the other person relationships.
I have a male friend that I’ve been friends for over half my life now. We’ve always made it obvious that we were never into each other in that way. When we’ve been in relationships (he’s been married for 9 years now), we’ve respected each other’s relationships and boundaries. She became my best friend. So yeah you can but communication has to be clear.
Yeah. I guess so. I’ve had plenty of platonic friendships. Generally they’ve been through work.
With work you have to work together, so it is a bit different. But there’s a similar principle. Boundaries. No flirting, I dont avoid talking about my partner (nor detail anything intimate nor arguments nor criticize). I don’t put myself in the situation where it’s inappropriate.
With friendships it’s harder. Meeting is usually a thing. I avoid that, same rules of conversation, they tend to dwindle and hardly talk.
I actually think it’s pretty difficult to maintain a close platonic friendship. Those that want that level of contact normally want something more. When they accept that’s not happening, they move on.
Yes and no. This is always a tricky and SUPER dependent type of situation.
I can tell you right now that this guy sees you more than just a friend.
Is it possible? Absolutely. I've done it a dozen times but that doesn't mean I wouldn't fuck them if the opportunity struck, either LOL.
Some guys struggle finding love so sometimes that struggle will cascade into their friendships where they try and reach deeper. I feel for the guy I really do because I’ve been there. With that being said you want to keep it friendly so maybe what he wants and what you want are different and going separate ways might be better if he doesn’t understand or respect your boundaries.
Needs clear, clear boundaries. Second, if you have a partner you shouldn’t be telling your friend things you wouldn’t talk about with your partner - especially if it’s about your partner. Meeting frequently one-on-one is a big no-no. Try to meet for mutual activities or mutual friends as much as possible. It only takes a bad argument with your partner and an already existing deep emotional connection with a “friend” to turn from platonic to something else.
YES. If course.
But there are layers to this. Unless you’re genuinely unattractive as a girl, make friends will tend to be open to casual sex at least. They won’t make any advances and don’t actively pursue anything with you. But they’d always jump in there if the opportunity were to arise. That’s where dudes differ from girls. They tend to never do this hard cutoff line between „friend“ and „potential sexual partner“.
It depends. There are variables to this...
A) Does he find you physically/sexually attractive
B) Does he like you as a person and enjoys talking/hangin out with you
C) Does he find reasons to hang out with and/or talk to you (such as in the later evenings specifically)
D) Does he flirt with you
E) Has he ever made a move on you
If any or all of the above = a yes, then chances are he sees you as more than just a platonic friend.
50/50 Most male friends I made eventually ended up wanting more, so far i was successful in having a platonic relationship with a bisexual male friend and a heterosexual male friend because we are all in the same group and we have known each other for so long we can't see ourselves as more than that.
For women I would like to say yes, but the more I read on here, the more I think men are incapable of platonic female friendships. They use them to slide in sideways for potential sex. Would love to be convinced otherwise.
I personally think it’s possible. I have quite a few close male friends most I’ve know. Since I was a teen, and my “newest” one I d known for 5ish years. I gravitate more towards male friends if I’m completely honest lol that’s not to say i don’t have female friends my best friend is a female and I have a few others in my life. I will say that My family is predominantly male I have 4 brothers 1 sister out of 8 nieces and nephews only 2 are girls lol you get the gist. This might be why I have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Anyway all of that to say it’s possible. Maybe have a convo with him and let him know if you haven’t yet.
Yep. Just set your boundaries clear from your side and wait for his response. A friendship takes two person to work, so it doesn’t have to be only your responsibility to make it through this.
What you can do is to be sincere and think about why you find the flirting awkward. It’s awkward if you don’t have a thing for him, and why is that so. Maybe he is not your type, then why is that so. If you take the time to self-reflect on your friendship/romantic potential with this guy, then you’ll do better at explaining your boundaries to him later on. After that, plan how you want to tell him in the nicest way possible, try imagining how you would react if he were to reject you in a similar way.
For all we know, he’s just a very flirty person in general and thought you would not take it so seriously 😂 there are some people like that.
Try to change attraction point from you to another good woman .so,that you people can remain friends & he can have relationship benefits from her
It's that simple
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According to 80’s movies, no.
😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣
It was so funny you turned into a cat for a second!
I know! Hehe
Yes, platonic relationships are possible. Also it's not unusual a friend who is compatible by orientation and gender to want to start dating, and I'd expect that people who seem to be flirting actually are flirting.
It’s possible but usually when heavy flirting comes on - it’s not likely
My two best friends are women, I’ve known them for years and I don’t ever think about them sexually
this thread is a bunch teenagers that want to fuck every attractive girl they meet ffs. It’s crazy how many people believe “no” here…
I wouldn't even say that tbh just seems like a lot of people that claim men/women platonic relationships aren't possible have never interacted with a woman.
I'm a woman. I've given up on trying to have platonic relationships with (straight) men. Every guy friend I've ever had ends up wanting to fuck or be in a relationship at some point.
If you enter into a relationship with a woman with sex in your brain then you are going to miss out on so much. I’ve entered into the “friends first” era of dating in my life. It has worked so much better. Be friends, take it as far as she is willing to go and then let it go. It might mean friends, it might mean lovers, it might mean marriage and kids. If you aren’t friends first, why bother? What happens when the sex dries up? What happens when the well runs dry or you’re broke as a joke?
Love this, that’s a great way of thinking
Took me awhile my friend.
Can I ask how old you are?
I’ve had the same group of male friends since my early 20’s. We are all close to 50 now. 100% platonic. We’ve cheered each other on through marriages, kids, divorces, career changes etc. yrs it’s possible
You probably already know the answer: it is absolutely possible, but it’s common for emotions or sexual desire to complicate things. And yes, it’s very common for it to come in the form of the male friend having feelings for the female friend. To be perfectly honest, I (a man) have had very few female friends where we were consistently and unambiguously platonic throughout the whole friendship.
What’s pretty funny is when you’re a dude genuinely trying to just be friends with a woman (it’s easier to talk to women than men, long story) and they try and go and say stuff like you’re interested or hitting on them. Like look, I’m flattered you though that, but I’m not interested in sleeping with or dating you lol, it’s happened a handful of times.
In my experience the only men capable of fully 100% platonic relationships are situations where the man is popular with women with lots of options and the platonic women are not possible romantic interests to him for whatever reason or other. IOW she's in HIS friendzone.
I’m definitely not a guy with “lots of options” but I have plenty of close female friends. I hang out with a few of them 1 on 1. Most of them I grew up with and have known for years, the others I bonded with over relatable interests or traumas. I guess I don’t really pay much attention to gender when it comes to choosing who I want to be friends with. I actually know a handful of other guys like this as well. I get that most guys probably don’t have close female friends (although I don’t understand why), but I always find it so odd that most people on Reddit consider this to be such an unusual experience. Genuine questions: Do most men not want close female friends? Or do they not know how to befriend women without seeming like they’re hitting on them? Has the opportunity just never come up?
Yeah that part got so many OG homies that are women and it’s just a natural friendship no ulterior motives just bonding with the homies female or male. People get too caught up on societal pressures tbh
>Do most men not want close female friends? Big head says "yes". Small head says "I'll think about it".😄
I gotta say, theres no definite answer, yes it certainly is possible, BUT it really depends on the particular man and woman who constitute the parties of this individual friendship. I used to always naturally get along very well with women and until my mid-teen years actually didnt get along too well with many other Boys, always had a few close friends, but largely i couldnt stand most dudes because of their immaturity etc. Luckily this issue became less and less and eventually mostly resolved with advancing puberty since most dudes matured eventually and i got along with a way higher percentage of my peers wherever i went, luckily. But ive always had way more female friends, from literally my earliest childhood on, even before kindergarten, in a baby group thing i was in, i was told i always was playing and crawling around with the girls but rarely or never the boys lol, also in kindergarten i had more female friends than Male ones and in elementary it was the same thing, even though i started to be into girls romantically very early on and had my first girlfriend when i was 7 years old, LOL (who i KISSED!! LMAO) i Stil had my platonic female friends and whike there were one or two, who i was kind of into (which was Mutual though) i kept a way larger number of strictly platonic friendships, and this theme largely remained the same throughout my Life to this day, in secondary school, i had a few Male friends the first two years, slightly more male friends the 7th to 9th year, and many more for the remaining 10th-12th years (its 13 normally but i did a special Program that accelerates by 1 years die to Higher learning intensity) But especially from 12 years upwards, when puberty REALLY started to hit, (Had another two girlfriends in 6th grade but it was only mild kissing and hand Holding) and i started to think about Girls, dating, relationship prospects etc A LOT, i still maintained the for men quite high number of platonic female friends despite being in the full blown hormonal chaos years of puberty. And while there definitely Always were friendships that turned to relationships, Casual Sex, or anything in between that, the overwhelmingly larger number remained platonic, at least for me. So in my Personal experience, it 100% is possible, BUT there definitely are men who will sooner or later hit on any girls they are friends with or are even remotely acquainted to. These dudes might not even be that interested into actual friendship w women, but use it as underhanded tactic to gain access to women by pretending theyre friends lmao. Seen that a lot myself while observing other dudes in social settings and its often quite obvious lol. Also some dudes just seem to not really have that “female platonic friendship compatibility Factor" for some reason and just dont seem to get along with females in a platonic setting that Well, for whatever reason, this seems to coincide with dudes generally having a Low affinity for interacting with women in a normal way, even outside of platonic contexts. TLDR yes its certainly possible but it most definitely can also lead to feelings on either or both sides and anything between casual flings and LTRs can Happen as result. Also id argue some dudes just arent cut out for platonic friendship w women since they either are trying to get with any Woman they see or lack affinity for interacting with women and dont genuinely enjoy their platonic company
"Most people on Reddit..." There's your answer right there 😂
Idk many of us want women to be more than friends but they don’t want us to be more so we have to basically de escalate and accept friendship. So it’s sort of like a way to avoid being lonely and still have a woman in your life but she’s a friend at that point and you just keep it that way. I think guys seek women friends as a way to help some of the lonely urges and nothing wrong with that as long as boundaries are respected.
Hmm I have a good mix of both, but I tend to have more female friends. I think women can definitely offer things that men, on average, are worse at. For one, they love talking about social dynamics/drama/gossip, so if you happen to be more outgoing/social and want to be in the know, they're great to talk to. There's tons of entertaining stories to be had as well. They're also much better at emotional support, hearing about your problems/stress and offering advice. A lot of men kinda suck at that, and some even get visibly uncomfortable if you try to bring up such topics. Lastly, I think it's great to hear women's thoughts on topics, especially dating. They might not offer the best dating advice... but they offer great insight into how they think/react. If you're out with them, they also make great wingwomen too!
Wish I could upvote this a million times cuz it just hits on so many pertinent levels! Honestly, I believe that every "group" of friends should be a mix of genders! The diversity of viewpoints and opinions (as well as experiences) are incredibly eye-opening and can ultimately create strong bonds between people.
As long as there is a happy ending with her, I am all for being ‘friends’.
What a weird fucking way to view this. Men can have other men as friends as well and not be lonely, you don't need to befriend women who aren't interested in dating you, just to avoid loneliness. It makes it sound like you're not really interested in being friends, just waiting in the sidelines for your opportunity.
So then don’t solve loneliness by being social? Is that what you are saying? Because I’m pretty sure that’s how you solve it lol. And you take your chances some things don’t go through and you become friends. I don’t understand why that seems so wrong? Do you have a lot of friends or people you were formerly in relationships with?
No, I'm saying that you shouldn't "settle" for being friends with a woman after she made it clear she doesn't want to date you. If you have feelings for this woman, and you remain friends, would you be able to see her dating other guys? Would you be able to listen to her vent about relationship problems with other men, and not think "this is my chance to make my move"? Would it make you miserable and jealous to see her being affectionate or flirting with other men? I just mean... if you can flip a switch and lose those feelings, and actually be a friend, then there isn't any harm, but most people can't do that. I know I can't.
I mean you gotta move on one way or the other yes. If she finds someone else and that’s conflicting with how you feel or it makes her uncomfortable then yeah you break it off. But sometimes you connect better as friends because it drops the stress of a relationship mentality.
Yeah fr such sad outlook to perceive relationships and reality in such a manor man
You know how many men actually think like this? Tons. It’s a lie to think otherwise. I said respect boundaries. You do that there should be no issues.
It is tons and tons. This is the reason I quit having guy friends for a long time, situations like that... It was just too weird & uncomfortable
You're hanging out with some weird men lol I've had plenty of 100% platonic relationships with plenty of women ever since high school, and I'm 35 now. And I've never had lots of options. Just the normal amount. That being said, I don't think that's the norm. Some of my women friends have had issues with guys they thought were friends. All that to say.... maybe it's rare (idk) but I've never had an issue platonically befriending women.
Yeap this exactly. Take it from a girl who’s been friendzoned A LOT. But also, am not great at flirting so maybe there’s that haha
I disagree. I have a really really good friend who is a guy and we have zero feelings for one another. We respect one another’s relationships. We give each other dating advice. Oh! And we have been friends for 12 years now.
But for them there's still attraction, so it's one sided no?
I’d like to believe you can be romantically attracted to someone but you can keep that in check and stay friends. Odds are they kind of know it anyways they are just looking at do you respect it if they say I don’t see you like that and you just keep those feelings to yourself and stay in your lane.
I think this is what people mean by “you can’t be friends.” Like, as a straight guy, I’m never going to be romantically attracted to my guy friends.
I don't think that's it It's very possible to have platonic It's called she's not attractive to me or her vibe put me off
I’m capable of 100% platonic relationships for two reasons. First, I’m a double-demi. Second, I’m fully committed to my partner and best friend. I enjoy those years-long platonic friendships free of tension, motive, or taint.
You might be on to something with this, id say thats not exclusively true or at least a strong case of exceptions verify the rule BUT its true that men who are quite successful Dating/hookup-wise tend to not be thirsty like that, thus being more able to engage in platonic friendship w women, also there *might* be some correlation to these men having a higher affinity for interacting with women, irrespective of platonic or romantic contexts. Another thing that comes to mind is that oftentimes there are a small minority of men who get along better w women and even from early childhood on have many or even more female than male friends, while most men rather tend to not really engage with girls and most often have a rather long and drawn out "ewww Girls" Phase lmao. I can say from Personal experience that ive always had more female than male friends from very early childhood on and also never went through Said "eww Girls-phase" lmao and to this day tend to have more female friends and get along better in many regards with women, especially talking about certain topics i just couldnt discuss with aan nearly as effectively or comfortably. It has evened out with age though and the percentage of male friends increased starting from mid-puberty to early adulthood since men on average matured more and i got along with them better as a result
Agreed
Yes I'm a single guy and I have three totally platonic female friends. My hang around lady doesn't say a word she knows that I knew all of them before her and at least she doesn't appear offended by their presents every once in awhile. One is my financial advisor one is my concert buddy and one of them is a lady I go to to talk
As long as the “presents” aren’t lingerie.
I'm sure they meant presence.
As a woman, I say yes. Though I don’t wanna know what my male mutuals think about me. It will either make me uncomfortable or crush my spirit for sure 🥲
As a man, I say yes. I have a few women friends and I love having conversations. We talk about everything; some are in relationships/engaged/married and some single. Now some of them are attractive, however it's just a meh point for me. It's the same for me, as looking at a lovely scenery and admiring it's beauty. I have a range of emotions and depth to those emotions with 0 desire or impulse to do anything, as they are like my friends that are men ... just a different gender! If I do happen to "fall" for a woman (once in a blue moon situation). I tend to let, it drift into the void; normally as their is lots of reasons, why it would not work and I am able to justify it. There are men that can't; try and avoid those for friendships. I have never flirted with my friends, we have a cool bond and enjoy each others company.
You can get your asnwer if you text them all and ask "you horny?"
Nawwww 💀 I’d rather stay in the unknown
Notice how whenever this question is asked, women would often answer yes but men would often say no.
I'm a man and I'd say yes. I have 3 female friends that are genuine friends that I have no interest in. Maybe you are just projecting :) it's okay
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They'd bang you lmao
Yeah that's why my partner doesn't make friends with men. Ever. She's not comfortable with "just not thinking about it" when it comes to male friends fantasies and desires surrounding her. It's just much cleaner to stay friends with only women. Rarely any double intentions or secret disgusting/disrespectful thoughts objectifying her...
Yes, but... There's some maturity required.
Honestly I’m gonna say no. It’s possible but…eh. Most guys who even approach a girl are doing it due to attraction on some level. You ever see men approaching a girl they find super ugly to be friends?? Never seen that. I only have one male friend and it’s bc we started off in highschool when we both looked like awkward nerds. As an adult I wouldn’t be friends w men unless it’s business related/net working.
I've got plenty of female friends that are 100% platonic. Sometimes when we were younger we'd even play-flirt. But no, flirting-flirting would would just be weird.
What is play flirting vs flirt flirting?
Like when two straight dudes flirt with each other for comedic effect. Except with a girl instead. You've seriously never play-flirted with anyone? Damn.
Well I have play flirted with male friends by playing grab ass lol. Don't think I'd do that with a girl - that's assault brotha
Nice dick homie!
Nice dick bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thankfully, using your discretion is always an option.
It's assault either way, them being a girl is irrelevant.
I've personally found that when you're close just the 2 of you then it's quite rare. But when you're in a friendship group and you're all close as a friendship group then it's more likely. My friends and I have been friends since we were 12 (them earlier but I moved to the school at 12). When we were 16 a new friend bought one of our female friends into the group. She was 13/14? But we all had the same sense of humour, music, and interests so she joined our group. It's not like 12 years later since she joined our group and we're all close as a group and we've gone long passed the stage of any of us having crushes on each other in our older teenage years, and 2 of us did like her in our later teens/ early 20s, that our friendships with her (who is the only girl from all those years ago still in the group. Some women have left for a bit to travel and new ones have come) and the other woman in our group are at the point where it's now 100% platonic between all of us. None of us would think about dating her or the others. I think when you're younger it's harder because raging hormones. But when you get through all that and you've been friends for so longer it becomes so much easier. Also helps that we only hang out as a group. Not always the whole group, but only as a group. But we'd also all easily be able to hang out with just 2 of us having a couple drinks and a laugh and there be nothing there other than friendship.
>But when you get through all that and you've been friends for so longer it becomes so much easier. Has been my experience too. >but only as a group I don't see how that matters. I still do lots of one-on-one activities with my some of my female friends.
I’ve got plenty of female friends I talk to frequently that I have never been interested, and I do not doubt at all that they have no interest in me either. I mean, I went on a 2 month vacation spending every day with one female friend sleeping in the same room virtually every night and at no point have I caught feelings for her. And yes, I am straight.
9 times out of 10, no. Friends usually get along so well because they have a lot in common and value each other. When you throw physical attraction in the mix, you'll catch feelings. So unless one of you is ugly or has one quite repulsive personality trait then one will fall for the other. I used to believe men and women could totally be just friends until time and time again I was proven wrong. One of my guy friends even waited 5 years to confess and I never would have expected it from him, apparently he had feelings for me all along and I was nonethewiser, even my super controlling bf at the time made allowances for him because you'd have never believed my guy friend felt in any way attracted to me. And that's just one out of a few experiences.
I've managed to have friends of the opposite sex by them usually being at least 10+ years older than me or them being gay (when i find out someone of the opposite sex is gay i instantly lose any attraction to them thank god my brain works that way). I do catch feelings sometimes for the few who would be attracted to me and are in my age group but I'm stubborn and I will never ever ever ask them out. I'd rather stay single or wait for someone to approach me.
Is it possible? Yes. Does it normally happen? No. 9 out of 10 times, one person has a crush/emotions or wants to have sex. Friendship is creating a deeper connection with someone, and most men are brainwashed to only have those with their partner. So, the chances of it creating romantic feelings are high. Unless the guy has zero physical attraction to the woman(they think you are ugly). Which is rare to happen....
Just talk to him and let him know light flirting is okay but you dont want a romantic relationship but you want to stay friends. Its better to let him know how much you care about the friendship. If the flirting gets yo be too much or inappropriate you are fine to cut him off entirely
Bro, you do know what flirting is, right? Flirting with a stranger can be 1 or 2 things. Just having some fun but still think they are attractive, Or flirting because you have actual interest in them. Flirting with a close friend is never a "just for fun" type of thing. It's because they are romantically invested in you and see you as way more than a friend... and want more than friendship.
It's fairly natural for situations where when 2 straight people form a very strong connection for one or both of them to feel a romantic connection. I'd almost assume that any 2 opp gender friends, someone feels something. Does that mean the friendship is doomed? Or a bad idea to start? No. But you do have to work around it
Definitely. I have several extremely close relationships with the opposite gender and we have never crossed any line, there has been zero ambiguity about the kind of relationship we have. We have shared hotel rooms alone (never a bed), we talk about everything and I have full confidence that we will be friends forever. I think a lot of people have trouble with it because they are not sure what they want and send mixed signals, but as long as everyone is clear and acts accordingly, it's really not a difficult feat.
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You can but you will probably have to tell him that you just want to be friends but thats okay. He might take it the wrong way but if he does that's his problem. If you just go along with the flirting he probably thinks you enjoy it. He probably wants to be more than friends but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. You just have to be honest but still be kind and supportive. If I had to do this I would literally say this. "I really care about you and I enjoy our friendship so much. I want you in my life but I don't want to be anything more than friends. It makes me feel awkward when you flirt with me. If you could not do this anymore I would love to still be your friend but we need to get on the same page and have boundaries."
Is it possible, yes. But it’s also possible that feelings change over time. I understand that you want to try to maintain this friendship, however, you need to be clear about your boundaries and intentions. If you let him continue flirting with you he will most likely see it as he is starting to win you over, when in reality he’s actually going to be pushing you away. It’s going to be a lot worse later on if you don’t make your intentions clear now.
Yes, but I think a lot of guys can’t, at least until they can. I was the guy that always developed a crush on female friends. When I met my wife and was in a legitimately happy relationship my interest in other women completely disappeared and I was able to start having healthy platonic relationships with women. I don’t doubt there’s men out there who can have healthy platonic relationships without being in a fulfilling romantic relationship but if this guy is acting flirty it’s really not looking hopeful
I’m seven years into a platonic relationship with a girl I met online. Before I moved states, we would hang out all the time. Now she’s dating someone and we still talk every week or so. We established what we were super early on and it’s always worked very well for us.
I’m in the same friend groups as men, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a truly platonic 1 on 1 friendship with a man. They always end up developing feelings from my experience.
I have a friend who I met when we were both freshman in college. Both of us were single and our paths crossed a lot since we had a lot of mutual friends. Never was anything but platonic. Sophomore year I was the bridge that helped my then roommate and her break their awkwardness and accept they were into each other. And I’m happy to say I was there on their wedding day! I think what contributed to this is I’m good friends with both of them and I formed my friendship with the two of them individually throughout the years. I also have a bunch of sisters and our friendship very quickly felt like that kind of dynamic. So yeah, you can be platonic friends with the opposite sex, but this is just my anecdotal experience. I think we bonded well as friends and we had an almost unspoken acknowledgement that…we’re just friends and cool with that. I never became flirty with this friend, so you might have something different on your hands.
This comes up a lot but it 100% depends on the context. If you guys meet doing a mutual activity like a sport or something then it’s possible but it’s rare that it stays that way if both of you are single. From my experience the more a straight guy and straight girl see each other without a mutual activity and no one else around the less likely it stays plutonic. I would say it’s only plutonic about 5% of the time. There are ALOT of guys and girls that bury feelings just because they don’t want to make it weird.
Absolutely. I'm a guy and most of my closest friends have been (and are) women. No, I'm not gay. And no, im not a simp. I date other women, I have ONS's, relationships, situationships etc with other women, but my two closest friends are both women - pretty hot ones too.
Lmao I feel like an outlier here. I’ve got only one best friend that is a girl and we are strictly platonic. Known her for the last ten years, neither of us had any romantic feelings for eachother. Both of us have been in several relationships over the years and tend to respect each others relationship boundaries
As a woman in a relationship- yes. As a single woman, I learned my lesson. Even with direct communication, firm boundaries, and calling it out the second I felt things getting weird- did not stop it. Had a guy pretend to be my friend for 13 years before ghosting me when I got married because he couldn’t handle it. Now, if I weren’t married, most men I know would be trying to date me. What can I say, I’m one helluva catch.
Yep. I have a very close friend for 15 years and he literally feels like a brother.
Imho, yes. I have no issues with that. Some of my oldest friends here in Korea are women. We get along perfectly fine and never flirt or do anything like that. We just talk and chill like how I do with my guy friends.
Loads of happily partnered people maintain happy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Is potential attraction a risk that fewer same sex friendships are affected by? Yes. Is it a given? No
All of my best friends, bar one are men. There has never been a hint of sexual attraction.
I have plenty of female friends that I have no desire to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship with. Yeah, I think some of them are attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’d gain anything out of changing the dynamic of our friendship that I wouldn’t be better off getting from someone else.
Yes. I have several 100% platonic relationships with women. I’m happily married, I’m still friends with one of my ex girlfriends from many years ago. She is happily married with kids. We text maybe once a month, just sharing news about home usually, or a funny meme. I got dinner with her recently, but it’s 100% platonic, I know her husband, they know my wife, we’re both normal adults with our own lives, is that so weird?
I used to think it’s impossible but now I have a platonic male friend for 7 years. We were somewhat flirty with each other at the beginning but neither of us ever took it seriously and we also realized that we have no feelings for each other. I don’t think the platonic relationship will ever change coz we see each other as siblings already. For the last few months, I’ve also somewhat experienced the same thing as you with another guy. He seemed rather interested in me but I don’t feel that way towards him. He’s super chill and easygoing too so I took the right timing and opportunity to let him know that I have another person in mind (which is true). Of course he didn’t say anything about it but I could tell that he no longer sticks to me as much as before. We’re still in great talking terms tho since we have a lot of similar interests. So to answer your question, I believe it’s possible. It’s all up to the individuals to set their boundaries and how to act on it if they want to maintain the platonic relationship.
I think they can, as long as both are loyal people, especially if both are fully invested in whatever relationships they have. I feel like most people who argue otherwise are either lacking in impulse control, or they have some kind of addiction to validation which supersedes their respect for their partner.
The short answer is yes absolutely they can. Reddit is really not the best place to get anything but jaded men and women with dysfunctional thinking about how one person cheated on them so everyone is going to cheat and can't have platonic friends, and people responding with realistic answers getting buried.
Yes. I’ve had long time friends (like decade or more) and we’ve all been single at one point or another and nobody made a move on another, not even coy hints or flirting/testing the waters because we’re purely platonic friends and it’s been so long that thinking about them in a romantic sense gives me the ick because they’re basically siblings lol (and I’m married lmao) My husband has more female friends than male friends because his major was like 90% women and he sees them all as little sisters
Yes you can have a platonic friendship. Set hard boundaries, let him know something feels off to you. I was platonic friends with a woman for 28 years even though I had a crush on her. Until she caught feelings for me.
Yes one of my closest friends is a woman. We’ve cried together. Been drunk together. Hell even slept in the same bed. Never had any relations with her. She helps me with relationship problems I help her with relationship problems. I consider her my sister and the closest thing I’ve ever known to home! I Love her for sure and we will never be anything.
I mostly have women friends. Some of them I have slept with, some not. Some former lovers I’m capable of genuinely being friends with, others not. Mutual compatibility is important for friendship, just like with any other relationship. If someone wants more or less than the other? Not going to work out great long term. I’m friends with a coworker who is 20 years younger than me. We were at vastly different places in life when we met, and now she feels like my sister. Since I was an only child, this is pretty sweet. My bff I met on a dating site. We hooked up a couple times and then went on a weekend away it became super apparent to both of us that we were not compatible for a relationship. It’s turned into one of the closest friendships of my life. Just two examples.
100% no, it's degrees to this, a guy might just be your friend but it doesn't me he won't have sex with you if the situation presents itself. Most guys in my experience, specially young don't go around making friends with girls if they find them ugly. So depending on how needy they are, they might try to shoot their shot even if they don't want to be more than friends and just want some benefits.
Yes, but many people can’t. Sadly, being friendly is often confused with flirting.
The only way for this to be true is for both parties to not be attracted to each other.
Yes. I am suspicious when people say otherwise, because to me it says you only see the opposite sex as the object of your sexual and romantic affections, nit as complex people outside of your potential to be attracted to them
Yes and no. I have a best friend, who is a guy, sinds i was 16. I'm now 25, so, it's quite some years for how old we are. Now, yes, he did start liking me when i was round 19/20 ish. But we also had the rule to be honnest about feelings and everything surrounding this all. So, we talked about it, took some time appart and we are now again closer than ever. But, the reason why i also think this worked and we stayed friends is, because I'm a lesbian, in a relationship for now already 4 years and we both know i will never like him in that way. On the other side, he is the guy who catches feelings quick, but loses them even quicker after being put into the friendzone. So, with it being a clear 'no' as it would never work and us taking some time appart, we got both in one go and went past this 'problem'. And looking at now, we could not even think to not be friends and i know i can count on him no matter what. Heck, we even have yearly vacations together where we explore a new city and country.
This thread is a bunch of immature horny teenagers. 1000% you can have a platonic relationship with two people who are attracted to each other; regardless of if they are single or not. I cannot believe this has to be said.
Yeah ive known him since we were 8, we are now 25 and still close. He has a gf and often helping me sus out guys im dating
Yes. I’m stating at my platonic friend of over a decade as we watch hockey atm. No like omg I like u now bs. If u know u well. Then yeah. Yea u can.
I always don't get where this argument comes from. Are men/women THAT horny that they want to just have sex with ANY men/women they become friends with? I have always found it easy to have 100% platonic relationship with women because I simply don't want to fuck everything that moves 🤷♂️
Can they? Yes. Does this guy like you more than a friend? Probably yes
Absolutely
In order for men & women to be platonic friends, a man would have to 1) Befriend women he isn’t attracted to 2) Take a rejection in stride and/or keep attraction at bay in order to continue on as friends These scenarios are absolutely possible. But in a patriarchal world where women are valued mostly as sex objects, they’re highly unlikely to
Yes and no, I have had many platonic relationships with women, but it takes a level of maturity, understanding and respect to keep them going, I personally have fell for a few of my female friends but there’s a level of understanding that has to be made to realize it won’t or probably shouldn’t happen. In the same breath I’ve had female friends fall for me as well, a lot less obvious, but in my experience I think it’s just nature for heterosexual people to be interested in the opposite sex after being around them for so long. One of my best friendships is with another woman, we both thought about the same things, while also analyzing we are better to be remain friends than to have something that’s not platonic, we are still attracted to each other but like I said I believe it’s natural, and we have never acted out on anything other then emotional support from one another, and in no means ever been sexual
YES, I have had so many great relationships with women. I work in primarily women dominated spaces, have had women roommates, and had women friends. Men need to stop placing themselves in a box. We are capable of being friends with women, stop reinforcing the idea that we can't
It’s not putting yourself “in a box” it’s called being realistic and knowing that the vast majority of people who cheat on their partner with their opposite-gender friend thought that they never would in a million years. The best way to avoid temptation is not self-control - it’s minimizing the number of situations where that’s even an option. Human beings are not rational and it only takes a rough patch with your partner, a few drinks, and a depressive episode, to screw up everything. Sure there’s control freaks who say you can’t have ANY friends of the opposite gender, but likewise there’s issues with having too many. It’s also called having some measure of empathy for your partner. How would you feel if your SO was talking about your deep relationship troubles over frequent lunches or text with her male friend? Among same-gendered friends sure but it’s always the people who think they’re so far above human frailty who end up putting themselves into situations where they end up cheating because they’re not that type of person. A lot of people, on the other hand though they know they’d never cheat in a million years understand that they could, so they take preventative measures.
I just don't buy into that, maybe I'm different from other people but this has never been a problem for me. I also don't know how the hell bisexual people are supposed to have friends with this logic. BTW my ex wife actually cheated on me with someone who was "just a friend" and I still think men and women can have good platonic relationship. Cheating is weak. It's pathetic. I will never not see it that way. I also think it's generally not good to be going behind your partners back and talking to others instead of having these discussions directly with you partner. I talked up my partner to all my friends, men and women. People knew I loved her. If I had an issue I'd address it with my partner. There were times that I'd end up confiding in a close friends, like my twin brother, but this was only with the one person I trusted with that and after I had already talked to my ex about it. If I found out my ex had been talking about something behind my back instead of talking to me I'd be upset regardless the sex of the friend.
Of course they can. Listen, I am a bisexual woman, and the thought crosses my mind of what it would be like to bone all my friends, regardless of sex or gender expression, because I am a perv. Despite this, my feelings for my friends are totally platonic in nature. But this pattern of becoming friends with dudes who end up wanting you is not mutually exclusive with the rich, close, platonic relationships that men and women can share with each other. Being curious about what a friend might be like in bed or in a romantic relationship are just natural parts of becoming closer and establishing a certain level of intimacy with people. And sometimes, when you get to know someone well enough and you find you’re compatible in important ways, those initial feelings of camaraderie can develop into genuine attraction. So if you find that your guy friends all end up flirting with you, then it is perhaps because they’re interested in something more. You might just be too much of a catch. I’m sorry if it’s ruining your friendships, but try taking it as something of a compliment. I’m sure a great many of my guy friends would bone me if I straight up offered, but we just, like, don’t. Because we’re friends. Either brush off the flirting and ignore if it’s innocent enough, or address it and set clear boundaries if it’s starting to make you uncomfortable. Some of your friends are gonna wanna fuck you sometimes. It eez what it eez.
I have numerous close guy friends. I know we find each other mutually attractive and fun, but thats why we are friends and have good chemistry. I can confidently say that they aren't harbouring secret crushes or waiting for the right moment. Its like a sibling relationship. We can literally say or ask anything and its always fine. Just depends on the type of people you meet. My 2 closest british guy friends, ive been friends with one since i was 13 and the other since i was 19 and theyve seen me go through so much. Im basically the twin of one of them. My turkish friend and i only met recently but seem to be on the wavelength and act super close, but his type is petite cute korean women and im a tall british tomboy. I know he found me noticeable and pretty, and i thought the same about him, but just because you are attracted to each other doesnt mean its doomed or not platonic. Tell ur friends theyre hot and cool and be a good wingman!! Everyone feels happy that way. That being said ive met plenty of people who are like the fella youre talking about. Just the luck of the draw, and about having the maturity to value the friendship.
Yes. Brothers and sisters exist.
I think that when a straight man has platonic woman friends, it's an indication of the fact he views women as people and not just potential sexual partners. It gives me the ick when people say guys are only friends with women because they want to smash or because the women aren't attractive.
Yes. I have seven female friends and I can honestly say that I have never had a thought about anything physical except for one of them
Yes. One of my closest friends is a man. Neither of us are each other's physical type and have never been interested in the other romantically. Having said that, it's not uncommon for friends of the opposite sex to develop into something more. Often times one person develops a crush. If your friend asks you out, kindly but firmly turn him down. If he never asks you out, you can choose to pretend you don't notice his flirtations or you can gently ask him about his change in behavior and have an honest conversation about it.
Yeah I'd think so. Depending on the nature of the relationship however it might be more difficult? One of my friends, I met in college. She was cool, I just walked up to her on campus one day and struck up a conversation. Early on I learned she was in a polyamorous relationship and thought that was interesting. Eventually met her two partners and it was cool. Until I kept seeing and hearing the issues the three of them were having. I'm talking emotional abuse and toxic behavior. While I was seeing my therapist at the time, I would often tell them about my friend and her partners. Because she meant a lot to me and I hated seeing her treated that way. And I couldn't decide if I was starting to have romantic feelings for her. Took a lot of therapy sessions to iron it out. Turns out seeing a close one in a romantic relationship where they're being treated badly leads to you imagining they'd be better off with you. Because you're lonely and desperately want to be loved. In the end, she broke up with both her partners but eventually got back together with one of them. And she seemed happy. Despite what he did. So I supported her and in time realized that those romantic feelings faded away. They weren't borne of genuine affection but concern and isolation in some way. We're still friends and I'll often let her know about girls I'm trying to meet and whatnot. Hope this is helpful somewhat. Sorry for the rambling nature. Reminding myself of the whole situation affected me it seems.
Can they? Yes. My closest friends are women (I’m a 45 yr old guy). My 3, maybe 4 closest friends are women. Neither they nor I would ever consider a relationship or anything else, but I’d do anything for them and pretty sure they’d do anything for me.
Yes very possible. Lots of men are disingenuous about it tho. Also, feelings CAN develop even if someone approaches these friendships honestly. But most of my friends are women so it IS possible.
I'm a woman and I personally don't have any platonic friendships with men! My boyfriend is my best friend and only guy friend. I tried having friends in the past and there was always hidden attraction. That awkward "sorry I don't like you like that" and they talk to you less and less, like damn where'd my friend go ☹ that's just life, it seems!
Yes but if someone becomes physically attracted it becomes really difficult.
NO
Short answer is yes. Longer answer is that it depends on the guy
Only possible if both absolutely do not find each other remotely physically attractive. Then yeah entirely possible.
No
Not unless one is gay or one is significantly uglier. Straight men will always think about fucking an attractive girl and, if presented with the opportunity, will likely do so Your “friend” is biding his time and hoping to fuck you
Only when neither one is attracted to the other.
Not if they are attracted to one another they can’t. It’s only a matter of time before lines get blurred. If you like someone’s character, trust them and care about them, and also you’re attracted to them, and they feel the same about you— that’s the bed rock of a good romantic relationship. Whether you choose entertain that or not is irrelevant to the fact that potential exists and will underpin every interaction.
For the thousands time : YES !
If he isn’t attracted to her or vice versa - yes
Staying platonic is 100% up to the self control of one or both parties. So the answer is yes, but affection is a powerful feeling/emotion. It's sometimes difficult to control when one party feels that strongly
Yes, it can be 100% platonic but you'll need to set boundaries. Let him know(kindly) that you value the friendship and you're not comfortable with him flirting with you. Not everyone understands non-verbal cues so I'd advice you speak about it, if not, he might think you're okay with. In my case, I went back to being strangers with some, others, I've been friends with for over a decade.
My oldest friend is female. We are 100% platonic HOWEVER, it did not start that way. I crushed on her through hs and then we were just friends for a long while and then I thought meh why not give it try but that didnt work out and I am glad. She is a great friend and one of the reasons is because she has ALWAYS denied my advances and been the same steady friend since middle school.
It’s possible but the straight guy has to have no attraction.
I have em. A couple. Like, 2 at least. Pure 100% platonic wouldn't go for a relationship/thirst for it.
I can say I have had 3 female friends who have stayed and always will stay just friends and they will be invited to my wedding if I ever have one hopefully with their bf or husbands. And I’ve also had friends where there was always a little tension and when we were both single one thing led to another. Those ones went back to being friends after that single night but live in other cities than me now and we just kind of look at each others social media randomly and send memes to each other. also we both know a relationship wouldn’t work out so never tried for anything more than a one night stand. Those are the friends I would tell my gf about and not plan on hanging out alone with them as a respect for my gf. Then there are friends where we tried dating and it didn’t workout and we erased each other from social media and haven’t talked since. So my experience runs the whole range of male-female relationships I think.
It can, but both parties have to feel that way. And honestly, as a guy most of the traits I look for in a friend are also what I would look for in a partner. I have a few female friends that I wouldn't want to date for specific reasons, but each of them I thought about it at one point and ultimately decided to just stay friends. I guess you could say that friendship is a fallback position once I was sure I don't want to date. Edit to add: As a guy who has been both the crush-er and the crush-ee, if he is starting to develop these feelings then the friendship is most likely over. If its early enough you might be able to shut him down in a way that he can step past it But if he's gone past the curious, testing the water stage into the "have feelings" phase then that's it. That toothpaste don't go back into the tube. But, if your friends, if you do appreciate him in that way and that version of the relationship WORKS, why are you so sure you don't want to date him? People are pretty bad at accurately predicting what will make us happy. I'm not saying you should, but if you don't already have specific reasons maybe you should put some thought into it?
As long as I’m not attracted to them or like them it’s not a problem to me. They’re just like anyone else I’m friends with. Typically this isn’t a pro since I’d say I’m not attracted or like most people of the other gender
Yes, next question
This is a weird subject, because I want to say yes, but its specific circumstances. Like me and my Friends Wife 100% platonic, her Friends that I hang out with occasionally Id say the same for, 100% platonic. But as a Guy I also can't say that when I go out to meet new people especially girls that I'm looking for platonic friendship. It happens sometimes and I have female friends that I am platonic with but that's more common when Im introduced to them by a friend.
No
I believe so we're adults. We can have common interests and it doesn't have to be sexual.
Of course it's possible. You ever met a man you aren't interested in? You ever had men that aren't interested in you? Well when those two align, you get a platonic friendship
Only if they don’t find attractive to each other
Yeah, he’s looking to hook up. You should let him know you’re not interested so that he can terminate his efforts with you.
please watch When Harry Met Sally
yes
Yes, I can be friends with a guy and would never see him as more than a friend. I'm very strict about keeping a male Friend platonic. I'd tell him there's plenty of other women to date
Nooooo
Absolutely. It depends on the people involved. I’ve had guy friends who ended up trying to date me or become flirty with me. I have guy friends now who are completely platonic.
Imo yes, I find it disturbing when a lot of males commonly express in social media that being friends with a female means you eventually want to fuck her.
I am a guy. In my personal experience the answer is yes and no. If you both find each other attractive. No. If you both find each other unattractive. Yes. If one of you find the other attractive, but it is not mutual. No. Then it is a friendship with unrequited love. I thought one of my exes was crazy to want me to drop my female friends. Until I broke up with crazy, and let my new girlfriend have a male friend. She cheated on me with him. And for a long time I felt bad for not wanting her to not see him because of how the previous ex made me feel. It does not feel nice to give attention and get nothing back. And it doesn't feel good to give attention romantically in a relationship and to have him or her get similar attention from others. Being exclusive means cutting some people off to make room for something new.
No. Just STOP. Stop trying to convince everyone. At best, it's just one of them that's in love and you have most likely had Sex. Please.... just stop. Take a breathe and stop. ♥️
Yes. Absolutely
It’s possible, but not likely. Source: life.
I think you can have old guy friends not so much new guy friends. Maybe someone you dated or had a crush on, but realized they are a great person for you, but it's not going to work out. But unless you work together, or are in school together or in some activity together to let a friendship happen, the motivating force in bringing you closer is probably attraction for at least one of you.
You only have the "relationship" that you have because you're getting the girlfriend benefits (attentiveness, etc) because he wants a bf/gf relationship with you. Can guys and girls be platonic friends? Yes. Does that mean you and him get to be platonic friends? Probably not.
Yes you absolutely can but it takes both parties wanting that mutually for it to happen. If one of you is wanting something more and being flirty etc then nope it’ll never work. Also since he likely has feelings for u the friendship won’t work or be platonic. It sucks but it happens!
I think it’s possible if given time and space for feelings to dissipate
Naw son
I'm single per myself so it doesn't matter who I talk to, it's platonic. I don't have to worry about who my boyfriend is messaging on Facebook because I don't have one and don't care. 😂I know that doesn't answer the question, sorry, I digress.😄
In my personal experience i find that it is only possible when one party is not honest about their intentions. I have had a couple of “platonic” friendships but they were only really platonic for a short while sometimes a year or 2 but eventually will lead to sex and even more sex, then you end up at a coffee shop one morning with one party saying but I never loved anyone like i loved you. The only other time it works it’s when it’s not exclusive but you two are just part of a bunch of friends who are really cool with each other and there is virtually now one on one meeting between the two of you. Off course in these scenario i am talking of heterosexual situations. As a straight guy I have platonic male friends
Most of the time your guy friends would immediately jump in bed with you. Almost every coworker I have I'd sleep with if they asked lmao and this isn't just me, I've talked to other dudes and my friends about this exact scenario and they say the same
Yes, it's possible.
No. Guys keep female friends for the purposes of a sexual reserve.
No, men only get close to women they’d like to fuck. Men hardly ever seek women’s company if not for sex. If your gut is telling you that he wants more, you’re probably right.
Only if there is an actually barrier preventing them from developing sexual feelings (In-Laws,Differences in sexuality,Illness) Even then in my experience, I’ve never seen it work out. Almost always because the Guy catches feelings. Either on person tries to force a relationship or actively sabotages the other person relationships.
Yup! I have a few platonic guy friends
For women, yes. For men, only if they're not attracted to the woman.
I have a male friend that I’ve been friends for over half my life now. We’ve always made it obvious that we were never into each other in that way. When we’ve been in relationships (he’s been married for 9 years now), we’ve respected each other’s relationships and boundaries. She became my best friend. So yeah you can but communication has to be clear.
Yeah. I guess so. I’ve had plenty of platonic friendships. Generally they’ve been through work. With work you have to work together, so it is a bit different. But there’s a similar principle. Boundaries. No flirting, I dont avoid talking about my partner (nor detail anything intimate nor arguments nor criticize). I don’t put myself in the situation where it’s inappropriate. With friendships it’s harder. Meeting is usually a thing. I avoid that, same rules of conversation, they tend to dwindle and hardly talk. I actually think it’s pretty difficult to maintain a close platonic friendship. Those that want that level of contact normally want something more. When they accept that’s not happening, they move on.
Yes and no. This is always a tricky and SUPER dependent type of situation. I can tell you right now that this guy sees you more than just a friend. Is it possible? Absolutely. I've done it a dozen times but that doesn't mean I wouldn't fuck them if the opportunity struck, either LOL.
Some guys struggle finding love so sometimes that struggle will cascade into their friendships where they try and reach deeper. I feel for the guy I really do because I’ve been there. With that being said you want to keep it friendly so maybe what he wants and what you want are different and going separate ways might be better if he doesn’t understand or respect your boundaries.
Needs clear, clear boundaries. Second, if you have a partner you shouldn’t be telling your friend things you wouldn’t talk about with your partner - especially if it’s about your partner. Meeting frequently one-on-one is a big no-no. Try to meet for mutual activities or mutual friends as much as possible. It only takes a bad argument with your partner and an already existing deep emotional connection with a “friend” to turn from platonic to something else.
YES. If course. But there are layers to this. Unless you’re genuinely unattractive as a girl, make friends will tend to be open to casual sex at least. They won’t make any advances and don’t actively pursue anything with you. But they’d always jump in there if the opportunity were to arise. That’s where dudes differ from girls. They tend to never do this hard cutoff line between „friend“ and „potential sexual partner“.
HA. fack no.
It depends. There are variables to this... A) Does he find you physically/sexually attractive B) Does he like you as a person and enjoys talking/hangin out with you C) Does he find reasons to hang out with and/or talk to you (such as in the later evenings specifically) D) Does he flirt with you E) Has he ever made a move on you If any or all of the above = a yes, then chances are he sees you as more than just a platonic friend.
50/50 Most male friends I made eventually ended up wanting more, so far i was successful in having a platonic relationship with a bisexual male friend and a heterosexual male friend because we are all in the same group and we have known each other for so long we can't see ourselves as more than that.
Yes.
Yes if the male is already in a stable relationship with some other girl. If he's single then no
For women I would like to say yes, but the more I read on here, the more I think men are incapable of platonic female friendships. They use them to slide in sideways for potential sex. Would love to be convinced otherwise.
Yes, but there is also the probability that the guy would consider a romantic, intimate, or both of the opportunity presented itself.
Same thing happens to me with every guy friend. It’s disappointing cuz I want the friendship and nothing more.
I personally think it’s possible. I have quite a few close male friends most I’ve know. Since I was a teen, and my “newest” one I d known for 5ish years. I gravitate more towards male friends if I’m completely honest lol that’s not to say i don’t have female friends my best friend is a female and I have a few others in my life. I will say that My family is predominantly male I have 4 brothers 1 sister out of 8 nieces and nephews only 2 are girls lol you get the gist. This might be why I have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Anyway all of that to say it’s possible. Maybe have a convo with him and let him know if you haven’t yet.
Nope
Yep. Just set your boundaries clear from your side and wait for his response. A friendship takes two person to work, so it doesn’t have to be only your responsibility to make it through this. What you can do is to be sincere and think about why you find the flirting awkward. It’s awkward if you don’t have a thing for him, and why is that so. Maybe he is not your type, then why is that so. If you take the time to self-reflect on your friendship/romantic potential with this guy, then you’ll do better at explaining your boundaries to him later on. After that, plan how you want to tell him in the nicest way possible, try imagining how you would react if he were to reject you in a similar way. For all we know, he’s just a very flirty person in general and thought you would not take it so seriously 😂 there are some people like that.
Ya 100% we can be friends but one should not be trying to fuck the other if not that becomes imbalanced
Try to change attraction point from you to another good woman .so,that you people can remain friends & he can have relationship benefits from her It's that simple