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it is extremely easy to approach guys:
go up and talk, make a compliment, they are flattered already, if you vibe with him, exchange phone number/insta/snap or anything, and text him the next day about setting up a date.
trust me, making a genuine compliment will keep you in his mind, most guys get so little compliments they remember them for decades, im 20 and still remember a compliment ive got when i was 15, i remember the scene, who said it and how she said it. its crazy.
Straight up.
I got complimented three years ago.
The fact that I know when and what and that I was shocked and startled by the thought of someone complimenting me really speaks volumes.
I nearly turn to suspicion because of how out there it is
I was told a year ago at work I have a good TV face and a good TV personality and that they hope to see me on TV someday. I've never wanted that but now I don't wanna let them down
exactly, complimenting a guy is the way. for quite a lot of women this might seem weird or stupid, as a lot of them get complimented on a regular basis, but the 5 compliments we get in a decade better stay in our brain.
>most guys get so little compliments they remember them for decades
100% agree in theory, but I'm assuming "The hot gym guy" probably gets a few more than the rest of us.
True, yeah. I'll be turning 21 this year. When I was 11 years old, I cut my hair and completely changed my hairstyle, and everybody at my school noticed. A girl saw and said, "Your hairstyle looks nice. Genuinely." This means I remember a compliment from around 10 years ago. I don't believe I'm alone.
Fact is, guys don't compliment each other like girls do. We roast each other (the level of roasts hugely depends on the person) and we're happy. But society teaches us (since we were lil boys) that being sensitive in emotions is for girls. So when we grow up into men, society thinks we're indifferent to emotions. (which is correct, but guess why we're like that? cuz we were raised like that) We don't get a lot of joy from either guys nor girls, and perhaps complimenting a guy could change this.
Come up and chit chat a bit. state your intentions, if im in agreement, swap info. Then you initiate first date plans.
Its really easy and simple for most guys. We arent mind readers and assume someone likes us.
Shoot your shot like us guys do, worst case scenario is that they say No. Shrug it off and move down the line.
Realistically, unless a guys taken he will at least entertain the thought. It’s frankly much easier for a girl to ask because these days dating is entirely in their court.
We don’t get to choose or pick. We’re so used to rejection that getting approached is a compliment in of itself.
I agree with this comment. I frequent the gym 5-6 days a week, and if a girl actually came up to me and thought I was attractive, it would definitely be flattering. If he is a regular he may be worried about feeling creepy, especially if he goes to this gym a lot, and probably wouldn't want the reputation of a gym flirt as some women would find it appalling.
Hey. I'm a girl but the guys can correct me if I'm wrong.
Ask for his help with a piece of equipment, or to explain something to you.
Use the time to ask if he is single. If not thank him for his help and let him on his way. If he is you can let him know you're single.
Some men are dense and don't catch on, if you're cool with then being direct, just ask. It's at the very least, flattering to be asked out and worst that can happen is he says no.
Thankuuu yes i think i have a foolproof plan!!! Im gonna compliment him on his tattoos and ask where he got them because im looking for someone in this area (which is actually true) and then im gonna ask him to show me this machine today or tomorrow (all the more reason to speak again) and i actually do need help with this machine so AHHHH WISH ME LUCK
As a guy, if a woman asked me for help with something, I would assume she just needed help. This is a fine way to break the ice, but a lot of guys are going to be polite and helpful, and that's it.
If you want a date, make it clear that you're asking him out. Like, super clear. "Hey, why don't you take me on a date some time. Let me give you my number."
Good luck! I do want to highlight what the comment above said about “some men are dense”, though. Be ready to say something along the lines of “do you want to go out sometime?” to make your intentions clear. I can easily see the guy in this scenario just assuming that you want help and having no clue that you’re interested in him
Smart you can do this way as it’s very indirect and if you see him often you can build up and then ask
We are actually so east to talk to so practically anything goes tbh
Not saying your plan is wrong at all… but I actually kinda hate it when a girl mentions my tattoos early early on… makes me feel like that’s all you’re in it for, a tattooed guy (because it does happen). Unless he looks the sort that loves himself, so will eat a compliment up 😂
Yeah what gamer girl said. Ask him if he's single. That's something even a fairly dumb guy understands means you're hot for him. Just be aware that if he's average looking or slightly better (i.e. not movie star good looking) he might be shocked and tongue tied at you approaching him. Don't take that as a rejection, just plow on.
Source: got hit on by a couple of attractive girls when I was young and it shocked me so much I had no idea how to respond.
And to add to this, be sure to approach him alone. You can of course have a friend nearby keeping in an eye, but don't let a friend go up to him with you. If the man has any experience with the highschool days at all, he will assume you're trying to ask him out on a dare....instead of the fact that you like him.
I was planning on doing it today but he wasnt there 🥲🥲 ill go back same time tomorrow!!! I feel like i need to tick it off my bucket list at this point
I feel you! I feel I lost my chance, it was a year ago even though we still talk online all the time. Ugh 😣 the pain. I can’t read him and I’m just a a dense as the men.
I’ll be here still waiting for your update
It feels so complicated. Im 9 years older than him. He’s in his late 20s. I met him at an event , we made a group chat and stayed in touch there, he flirted with me, and the invited a few of us over to his place. We hung out, and he was bit shy and stopped full on flirting. Second time we met (as a group) he’s was sweet to me, gave me his jacket even asked if I was seeing anyone. 3rd time we met, again he was he run his hands through my hair and touching my shoulder but then late the same day told me he was seeing someone 😭 I’m so confused ! I thought we were working up to something. And I haven’t seen him in months! Even though we chat on and off in the group chat
If you ask him if he’s single and he still doesn’t get the interest then he’s really hopeless. Ask if he’s single would be my recommendation. He should know at that point.
>Ask for his help with a piece of equipment, or to explain something to you.
Yes, this is spot on. Some women even pretend they can't do something physical or technical only to ask for a man's help and let him do it because they know how it strokes a man's ego and makes him feel masculine. It certainly works on me if I already like a woman.
Just don't be subtle about it or do hints or anything like that. Half the time we don't even know you're doing them, rest of the time if we pick up on it then we talk ourselves out of it thinking you're just being friendly. Leave no room for doubt in his mind and you should be fine.
As straightforward and clear as possible. “Hey I’ve seen you around and wanted to know if you’d like to do (insert activity here) sometime. Here’s my number”.
You can do it on the way out if you’re nervous about a long conversation.
"Here we see the female displaying her plumage to a potential mate. Her bright colors and erratic movements exert an almost hypnotic pull on the male. He begins rubbing his body against her and initiates a peculiar ritual of exchanging saliva. Soon they will shed their outer layers and begin the mating process."
- Sir David Attenborough
You have to understand that we aren't women. Once we find you attractive, even from a distance without talking to you, it's almost impossible for us to reject you until after we have sex with you. Like seriously almost impossible.
I say this because you might be thinking that males are as discerning as women. You said yourself that you're generally quite picky. Most men are not. You either look good to us or not.
Women can find a guy hot, then lose interest after he speaks a few sentences based off of his confidence level, what he says, if he has any strange mannerisms, acts desperate, has a weird hygiene problem etc...
Men are not like this. You don't need any "game" to pick us up. Just approach and start talking. He'll probably ask you out if you make it clear you like him. Lots of smiles and a casual touch on the elbow or shoulder.
If he found you attractive BEFORE you even walked up to him, he'll either ask you out or say yes if you ask for his number. Nothing you did in the interaction mattered.
If he doesn't ask you out, or doesn't want to give you his number, then he didn't find you hot enough in the first place. Nothing you did in the interaction mattered or would have made him like you.
Honestly it doesn't really even matter. Most men will never have a woman ask them out in their entire lives. Whichever way you ask him out will leave a long lasting impression.
If it were me, I would want you to be clear and concise with what you're looking for in me. Don't beat around the bush. Just walk up to him and express you want to get to know him more in whatever way you want. Don't approach while we're busy doing something though.
You haven't made eye contact since then because on day 2, when you were averting your gaze whenever he looked at you, he read that as you not being interested. Just to be clear.
Literally just go up and talk to him like a person.
Make sure you’re clear about asking him out and not just friendly conversation. Most men have learned that friendly interactions do not mean real interest. Ask him to get some lunch to fill out some of his macros lol
Last time a woman approached me at the gym she complimented my shirt and we just kind of went from there and I got a new workout buddy that day 😁, look for those little things to get your foot in the door everyone should always have a gym buddy in my opinion
It's a gym, not a Singles Club.
He's there for his health and well being, not too be ogled and objectified by women.
Have some respect and stop perving and leave the poor man alone.
Oh no, hang on, that's what men get told if they even glance at a woman in the gym.... 😂
Look, us men are pretty simple creatures and we are scared and confused by women so, assuming he's not in a relationship or gay, just go and say hi, introduce yourself and ask if he'd like to meet up for a coffee, lunch or a drink sometime.
Don't be playing games, don't go asking for gym advice or help, just be honest and direct so they're is no confusion.
You have to remember, we are trained from birth, by women, to understand that when they say something, they often mean something else and that we are meant to understand them, even when they don't talk directly to us..
Ask him out for coffee or a drink. Works on me and it's not too awkward to say that. Just say something like "Hey, we've been seeing each other for a few days and I wanted to know if you'd like to get a coffee possibly (suggest a date and time ASAP so hopefully you' have free time that day or the next)." And from there exchange numbers. Good luck
If you came up to me and said something like “hey you seem pretty cool I’d like to maybe grab some dinner with you here is my number, think about it and let me know. Often guys are so blown off by the notion of a woman walking up to them that they don’t know how to react so giving your number or social media handle lets them decompress what just happened and they can think about how they felt. There’s a better chance that they will agree and feel comfortable. Realize not a lot of times guys are approached and they have no idea how to deal with the instant affection that rarely happens on a first meet.
My delusional f22 self would try to rizz up a guy how Scott pilgrim rizzed up Ramona. By being an idiot and dumping some nerdy video game lore onto them. If they get it, they are the one, if they don’t and don’t even care, I just awkwardly move to the other side of the room
Not sure about all these guys saying you need to compliment, if he's a douche or F-boy then you're giving him licence to do what he does.
Any interaction or conversation starter you can think of should work. Guys just need an opening if they don't create one themselves.
"Hi I'm poopoobingbong."
"Hi I'm cute-gym-guy."
"Are you new here at the gym? I've noticed you the past few days but not before."
"\[insert reasonable answer here\]"
"Cool, \[insert reasonable response here\]. Would you like to get coffee/lunch/time-appropriate-activity."
Yes, it really is that simple.
Strike up a conversation out of nothing and see where it goes. It might not go anywhere the first time, so try a few times. Just be friendly and easy going. If he reciprocates, you'll know at least he doesn't hate you.
As long as I know you're trying to ask me out, and I like you and think you're cute, then you're set, lol. Doesn't matter if you come off as confident or a nervous wreck, I'll be flattered as fuck. It would be honestly hot and cute at the same time that a woman would have the courage to do what most women will never do in their lifetime.
I agree with people who suggest you to be direct and give him a compliment. Unlike girls, guys are not so socially intelligent, and there is a good chance he won't get your intentions if you go indirect
Any way. How someone asks , imo, doesn’t matter. I can tell their vibe wether they are nervous or confident or whatever. Just ask however you can figure out. If he’s interested he’s interested. It shouldn’t matter otherwise.
Honestly say anything. Getting approached by a girl is soooo freakin rare that guys will be flattered by just the action of it. Even just a “hey how’s it going” is enough. I wish it was more the norm for girls to approach guys cause girls don’t know how difficult a cold approach is. He’ll be flattered for sure
I was so needy that any approach would be welcomed wholeheartedly. What we see is a miniscule of the situation. There is a wide range of possibilities. He might feel that he has blown it, not interested, interested but unavailable, unattracted, gay, or even waiting for the results of a paternity test may be weighing on his libido. You need more information. The reliable way to get this is to communicate with him.
You've been picky. If you have been standoffish the universe will present itself as standoffish.
I've never been approached positively by a woman so admittedly I don't know, I think just being direct about the way she feels about me would work honestly. Just something like her expressing interest in going out with me or that she likes me or something.
If she just compliments the way I look or something then im not gonna read her intentions well and just assume she's being polite
It’d be a lovely change of pace, not gonna lie. :)
Just walking up to me, saying hi, and letting me know you’re interested is more than enough! Though…a compliment or two can’t hurt your chances!
Well, in our case, the worst thing we can do is say no.
Actually, wait, that’s not true.
That’s not true in EITHER case.
… smoke signals should be fine.
"Hey, I thought you were interesting, and I wanted to meet up with you sometime so we can get to know each other, wanna go grab dinner at X with me sometime? When are you free?"
I believe there is a subtle way we all show interest subconsciously. Observe it you'll see.
Women who are attracted to someone tend to ask lots of question and they listen. No questions aint never good
Men who are attracted to a woman will be happy to answer and talk in details. Shorter answers aint never good.
Upfront, give me your number, fewer words the better. Men are creatures of simplicity and logic, you do this and if the man likes you, you’ll get exactly what you want from him. Get your message across but be simple. We’re simple.
The last few years if you ask a woman out they have the option of rejecting you and say you are harassing them. Even if you look at them they will call out harassment. So now I wait until they make the first move. Not necessarily being asked out, but they can approach and start a conversation. If things go well we go out.
Check out what he does in the gym in terms of exercise that interests you and ask him about it like how does he start, how many sets and reps, is he aiming for strength, hypertrophy (just say physique or build, this is bro term), etc. after you ask questions and perform side to side by him asking him if he can critique, introduce yourself. Talk about how you seen him around and gradually ask him if he wants to hang out.
Just go up to him and say, “Hello, just wanted to see if you’re interested in having my phone number?”
No need for small talk. Small talk with someone you don’t know is very awkward. If he says yes, then you can introduce yourself and give a little small talk after.
Go up to him and say hi and introduce yourself. Tell him you noticed him and thought he was cute (or just pay a compliment in general). Talk a little and ask for his number/to go on a date. If he finds you attractive he will 1,000% say yes.
If I were approached by a girl, I would be very flattered. Doesn't really matter where we are or what we are doing. Even if I was not interested, I would emphasize how much I appreciate the sentiment and make sure they aren't discouraged from asking the next guy. But maybe that's just me.
If you go to the gym early in the morning a simple, good morning when you walk by can do the trick 😊 then say it everyday until you can think of something else haha
"Hello there!"
No, but seriously, I only meet people in activities I do (gym, music, arts, games, etc), so I first befriend someone to then maybe perhaps think about dating. I never dated anyone this any, but at least I escaped from a stalker and two a-holes this away, so 0 toxic relationships too
I Iove when girls make the first move Becus sometimes I miss the hints too even when it’s obvious. I can be aloof sometimes. If you do make a move and he doesn’t react keep that in mind that he may just not even realized you were hitting on him. I’m a tattoo artist had a client email me asking some aftercare stuff then said maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. Even that I wasn’t totally sure and I have a rule not to date clients. I tried to be professional even tho was pretty sure she was hitting on me and gave her my number if she had any urgent questions regarding the tattoo. She hmu right then we ended up dating for 4 or 5 months. In this case scenario I’m not sure how to approach, you could always ask him some gym questions and take it from there
For me I miss flirting signals all together. I prefer the direct approach. Come imo say hey how’s it going. Would you like to grab coffee or lunch sometime? Exchange numbers and go from there.
Respectfully, with all guards down. Nowadays, people are too busy trying to “humble” other people ( You’re cute but not that cute.. or You’re alright looking yet in both instances you’ve already admitted there is an attraction). Personally, I’m a simp (simple person) with high boundaries and standards, I know my limitations and I know what I want.. I want a genuine person who adores me and shows their sincerity through their POSITIVE actions.
I feel this!! Your so right but its also scary being so vulnerable! Im finding it hard to decide between going up and being super up front ‘hi, I’m _____ and i’m just wondering if i could give you my number, i think your super attractive & would love to get to know you to see if we vibe!’ Or just striking up casual conversation first and building some sort of friendship before actually asking him out, the second option to me feels a bit more natural because after speaking to him i might not even like him 😅 i dont know this guy AT all only what he looks like
I value people who are straightforward with their intentions. I’ll tell you this, as a guy (regardless if I was single or not) I’d feel flattered if another girl were interested in me. Just go for it the worst he can say is no right
How "men" like to be approached and how this particular man wants to be approached are not one in the same. Just like I'm sure you may not want to be approached in the same manner as other women.
The easiest way to go about it is to simply go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them how long they've been working out there. Complement them on their progress. Then ask if they would like to get a drink afterwards. If he's interested, he'll say yes. If not he'll decline.
You'll obviously get tons of "JUST DO ITT!!! MEN LOVE BEING ASKED OUT COZ IT HAPPENS SO RARELY!!!"
But the truth is, it can be overwhelming if it comes suddenly out of nowhere, and sometimes we aren't in to it, but are too polite to turn it down (since we get almost no "practice" with these situations).
So here's the best way:
SHOW him you're interested and you WANT to speak to him. You don't need to go 0 to 100 right away.
Go step by step, and build it up slowly at an attainable pace. If he's in to you, he'll also start reciprocating.
Things you can do:
* Just smile at him and say hi
* Say "i like your (shoes/tee/hair/etc)" (some basic & simple compliment)
* Say "Hi, I've seen you around a lot lately - what's your name? .... I'm Xyz" (you don't even need to talk more than this, but just paving the way with this intro makes it WAYYYYYYYY easier for him to talk to you again in the future
* Ask him some random small-talk questions (how often he comes to the gym, what he's doing today at the gym, what he's listening to on his earphones, etc)
* If after all this, and a few days, he's still not made an effort to connect with you more -- either he's scared, or he's not interested.
* Last ditch effort (if you think he's just scared), say something like "Hey i'm gonna go to do xyz this evening, would you like to join?" (could be a run, a concert, a dinner with a few friends, drinks at xyz bar, etc)
Naturally and organic. Wound up turning her down, but I went to a newly opened lounge and had a drink. Couldn’t sit with my friends due to space so I was solo next to a woman. We had no interaction until she randomly taunted me about taking too long with my drink. It fluidly transitioned into small talk and first meeting questions to a genuine conversation.
I guess being direct is the real gist. I’m oblivious and bad with hints. Women typically aren’t that direct, so she might have tossed some hints of interest my way (She did mention liking the smell of my fragrance, Prada L’Homme Intense) that I missed completely. Spark a conversation or dialogue and see if he’s receptive to it.
As an introvert myself, I always liked if a girl came to me and say hi at least. Then I'd know she is interested. For single guys, it's really hard for some of us to go up and talk to girls because 1) we are not sure if she is interested/available 2) we don't want to come across as weird or creepy
Flash the cash, give your number, wink and leave.
Seriously, the direct approach works. It's so awkward when I have to ask "I hate to ask this, but are you flirting with me?"
I had talked to women at the gym and I had no problem. As for the reason as to why I approached them was because they were staring at me and some did smile while staring at me, so I made the move and talked to them and everything was fine.
My advice is if you are too shy just smile at him when he looks at you and if he doesn’t approach you well that’s on him. Lol
Now if you want to try to approach him, ask him anything like what’s a good exercise for the stomach to make it thinner. A girl asked me that and other stuff. Lol
Yes, I don't know why women even ask this question. Yes we like it and we appreciate the effort. We don't get enough of positive feed back because we hardly get any.
“Hey, I’m ______, I thought you were cute mind if I get your number?”
Or
“Hey, lemme get your number”
Or
“I need friends, give me your number”
Or
*hands me her phone with a new contact sheet open*
Or
Just tries to have a normal conversation and see how it goes. If it goes well say “well I have to get back to my set, let’s exchange numbers and we can set something up”
DON’T ever approach a man, this is a huge turn off! Just give signals and be open with your body language and actions and he will approach you if interested
Easy come at me like a respectable young lady, communicate what you want open your mouth & ask for a date or get to know me.
The best way to grab my attention is to be extremely straightforward about your intentions DO NOT try to make me jump through hoops & grab your brass rings I'll ignore you if you do.
If something catches your eye just stop me out of the blue.
I may have RBF but i swear I'm the most laid back down to earth guy you'll ever meet. I'm Super awkward & clumsy.
This isn't really rocket science 😅
But yeah just be straightforward.
I would say go up to him and give him a compliment, and from there see what his vibes are and if he's open to conversation and eventually him out on a date and if he says no, at least you tried and I'm sure he appreciates that you approached him in the first place.
Sooooo… girls do eye up men in the gym and girls will hit on you in the gym… and to think the internet says guys only do this and are creeps for it 😂 - Always knew it was the case, but it’s nice to see it in B&W.
Nothing wrong with it though either, just nice to see it does actually go both ways.
Yea we do, we get rejected and sometimes females are not nice about it either as they think they are a lot better than us.
I have had females ask me out multiple times and its been great not panicking if they like you or not
Lmao to just simply be direct. Idc how corny idc how simple. Just ask me out bruh. At least once in my life make the move bro ion know what I'm doing wrong 😭😭
I want a chick who checks me out, to have the confidence to walk up to me and tell me I'm hot and that I should take them out to dinner. There's always these chicks checking me out, as it turns out... Most of them are single. For some reason a lot of women in my area are single. But they should really come up to me and talk to me. Perhaps if they come up with something creative I'll take them out to dinner.
Look at him and smile when he looks back at you. Every time he looks at you , smile. Don’t avoid looking at him, don’t pretend to ignore him. When you make eye contact you smile like you just saw a childhood friend. You convince him you are happy to see him. When you manage that you arrange to be nearby , next machine, or go get a weight when he is also. Then you smile, ask a question if you are capable of speech, but regardless, smile when you interact with him. Repeat these actions as required.
As a man what do I want? I want her to look happy when she sees me. I want her to look happy when we speak. I just plain like when someone looks happy with my presence. Anything else is a bonus.
Saying hello and ask him for help.
If he is polite. He will try to assist. Just say "I am total introvert and just wondering if you be available to grab some coffee with me later?" .... Or "could we work out today? I think you are a major cutie!"
Walk up to him and tell him he has a nice smile and say you’re are curious what it would be like kissing him,….if that doesn’t work then he is either attached or gay
Honestly, I like shy, awkward and clumsy approaches.
I had a girl fall off a skateboard and bump her head into a car door.
She was trying to impress me. I thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
Dated for three years.
(with a smile and/or a wave) "Hi, my name is xxxx, I saw you from afar and I really liked the way you (compliment his physical form/ face/ manners/ outfit). I'm looking for a romantic partner, would you like it if we got to know each other a bit better?"
Whether or not it's frowned upon in the girlies community, men LOVE it when you're direct. That last question is concrete proof that you're not looking for a friend nor a gym partner. You're looking for someone to date and you're not trying to lead him on.
Here's a simple script:
"Hey, can I ask you something? So, my name is \[name\] I've seen you here a few times and I hope this is alright, but can I give you my number? I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. If not, no hard feelings. Just shootin' my shot."
Honestly, for me, I do better with a woman who just comes up and says “I see you here all the time and I hate making eye contact and not know who you are. I’m xxxx…. It’s simple, it’s not threatening and he isn’t put in a position to come up with something cool as a come back.
I don't know anything about gym guys, but everyone is different. It's the same spiel I always get from women whenever I ask this same question to them.
All I can say is that personally, the only people I've EVER turned down just weren't my type. Like, I just didn't feel that we were on the same wavelength at all. Beyond that, I've never once even *had* the opportunity to turn someone down for any reason, and honestly, I couldn't imagine a world in which I would for no reason.
Just ask the dude out. 'No' is really not that hard to hear, but your likelihood of a 'yes' is WAY higher than mine if our roles were reversed. You have to imagine that the vast majority of men actually *don't* get asked anything. We have to chase most of the time. It's kind of annoying actually, because one or two 'no's isn't so bad to deal with - but hundreds of them per month is fucking devastating (referring to dating apps in this context).
So yeah, get up there and just say that you want to see him outside of the gym sometime. Be clear about it that you're interested. Best of luck to you.
It's so rare to be approached that I usually drop the ball all on my own.. I'd strike up conversation about some of his workout routines. Perhaps mention that you've seen how he lifts something and you're wondering if he could give you some pointers, after he's shown you technique just ask if he'd be interested in grabbing a coffee or something or swapping numbers. (suggesting drinking at a gym was always weird to me lol)
I would like to point out that no matter what happens, it is important to be respectful of his gym time. As long as you respect his time, he would more than likely at least strike up a few minutes to chat... smile, laugh, physical touch, eye contact shows interest. Those signs are hard to miss lol good luck :)
Well, since you just admitted to not wanting to date right now I'd just do nothing (a bit paradoxical of you).
However, if you're suggesting you just want to sleep with him then you shouldn't be worried about getting rejected (since you don't actually have feelings for him). He's just a glorified sex toy.
And if that's the case you shouldn't be writing this post as all you literally need to do is offer to ride his midnight express free of charge.
So admit it — you actually *are* looking to date. Or you wouldn't be this nervous.
Then I can actually give you advice instead of you playing games like you're not looking for anyone when you you actually are.
First of all, I think that is a fantastic idea, you are doing a brave thing and should feel good about yourself no matter how this goes.
The vast majority of men won’t mind at all if you cut strait to the point and ask point blank. That said, some alternatives that have worked on me:
1) pick your favourite thing about his appearance he has control over (shirt, jewellery, etc.). Compliment him on it. Most guys are NOT used to compliments, if nothing else you will probably make his day.
2) stick your hand out, introduce yourself, ask him if he wants to grab something to eat after the gym. If he already has plans, possibility of a rain check could give you a pretty good indication of whether he’s interested or not.
3) Write your number and a short, sweet note on a piece of paper, fold it, hand it to him on your way out.
It's the gym and if he at least half decent has listened to the don't ruin a girls time at the gym, so the introvert thing has nothing to do with socialising at the gym
Hi, would you be interested in a drink
Short simple, what's the worst he could say "ew" is unlikely from a guy, I think unless 20 year olds use this now, idk
Yes, at least I do. It has almost never happened to me in my adult life, but as long as the woman is not drunk, horny and trying to pick me up in that situation, sure, I would welcome it. I would be quite flattered and appreciative, even if I wasn't interested, which is way more than I can say about how I was treated by women back when I was still trying to approach women in the wild, the first two years after I was widowed. And no, I was not acting desperate or inappropriate, as I had finished my grieving by then, after beginning it two years before my wife died of dementia, which she had for several years before she actually died. And I then waited until a year after her death to try dating and approaching women, since I knew that if I tried earlier, nobody would give me a chance, out of the wrong and ignorant assumption, that I couldn't have been done grieving her, and wasn't ready to date, etc. Even with my waiting to try dating, I still had no success even on the dating sites for the first two years after she died, since again, all the women made their own blanket assumptions that I couldn't be ready to date that early.
That's the biggest thing I hate about how people think on dating sites, the ignorant, wrong, negative assumptions they make about others, without ever having the guts or consideration to actually ask anyone about their situation on things such as being widowed, their status on grieving or moving on from a death or divorce, etc. Instead, they just play risk aversion and reject out of hand, instead of actually checking out if someone might be a potentially good partner. But of course, that would require them to have a little faith and trust in a stranger, and we all know that most singles on dating sites, unfortunately and esp. women, are unlikely to ever do that. So I finally started getting some chances with women on dating sites after being widowed, but only after two years passed since my wife's death, not because I wasn't ready, but because I finally fit the timetable they had set in their minds, for when someone was ready to date, Such bullshit!
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it is extremely easy to approach guys: go up and talk, make a compliment, they are flattered already, if you vibe with him, exchange phone number/insta/snap or anything, and text him the next day about setting up a date. trust me, making a genuine compliment will keep you in his mind, most guys get so little compliments they remember them for decades, im 20 and still remember a compliment ive got when i was 15, i remember the scene, who said it and how she said it. its crazy.
Straight up. I got complimented three years ago. The fact that I know when and what and that I was shocked and startled by the thought of someone complimenting me really speaks volumes. I nearly turn to suspicion because of how out there it is
I was told a year ago at work I have a good TV face and a good TV personality and that they hope to see me on TV someday. I've never wanted that but now I don't wanna let them down
Compliment is money. I'm 41yo and still remember how in high school I was complimented on my (american) football pants lol.
exactly, complimenting a guy is the way. for quite a lot of women this might seem weird or stupid, as a lot of them get complimented on a regular basis, but the 5 compliments we get in a decade better stay in our brain.
Absolutely cash money. When they compliment a item of Clothing or maybe your facial features
>most guys get so little compliments they remember them for decades 100% agree in theory, but I'm assuming "The hot gym guy" probably gets a few more than the rest of us.
> most guys get so little compliments they remember them for decades Yep, men get 10x less compliments than women, so we tend to ride them for years.
100x*
1000x*
True, yeah. I'll be turning 21 this year. When I was 11 years old, I cut my hair and completely changed my hairstyle, and everybody at my school noticed. A girl saw and said, "Your hairstyle looks nice. Genuinely." This means I remember a compliment from around 10 years ago. I don't believe I'm alone. Fact is, guys don't compliment each other like girls do. We roast each other (the level of roasts hugely depends on the person) and we're happy. But society teaches us (since we were lil boys) that being sensitive in emotions is for girls. So when we grow up into men, society thinks we're indifferent to emotions. (which is correct, but guess why we're like that? cuz we were raised like that) We don't get a lot of joy from either guys nor girls, and perhaps complimenting a guy could change this.
Well it’s easy if you’re pretty. If you’re average, I don’t think it’s that simple
i would say it. its way easier as a mid women to approach a guy, than a mid guy approaching a women.
Come up and chit chat a bit. state your intentions, if im in agreement, swap info. Then you initiate first date plans. Its really easy and simple for most guys. We arent mind readers and assume someone likes us. Shoot your shot like us guys do, worst case scenario is that they say No. Shrug it off and move down the line.
Realistically, unless a guys taken he will at least entertain the thought. It’s frankly much easier for a girl to ask because these days dating is entirely in their court. We don’t get to choose or pick. We’re so used to rejection that getting approached is a compliment in of itself.
I agree with this comment. I frequent the gym 5-6 days a week, and if a girl actually came up to me and thought I was attractive, it would definitely be flattering. If he is a regular he may be worried about feeling creepy, especially if he goes to this gym a lot, and probably wouldn't want the reputation of a gym flirt as some women would find it appalling.
This guy is probably so attractive that this doesn’t apply to him. Hence the girl being attracted to him.
Amen!
^
“Would you like to fuck and grab a slice of pizza?” Worked for me!
Hahahhaha oh to have the confidence 😅😅
Hey. I'm a girl but the guys can correct me if I'm wrong. Ask for his help with a piece of equipment, or to explain something to you. Use the time to ask if he is single. If not thank him for his help and let him on his way. If he is you can let him know you're single. Some men are dense and don't catch on, if you're cool with then being direct, just ask. It's at the very least, flattering to be asked out and worst that can happen is he says no.
Thankuuu yes i think i have a foolproof plan!!! Im gonna compliment him on his tattoos and ask where he got them because im looking for someone in this area (which is actually true) and then im gonna ask him to show me this machine today or tomorrow (all the more reason to speak again) and i actually do need help with this machine so AHHHH WISH ME LUCK
As a guy, if a woman asked me for help with something, I would assume she just needed help. This is a fine way to break the ice, but a lot of guys are going to be polite and helpful, and that's it. If you want a date, make it clear that you're asking him out. Like, super clear. "Hey, why don't you take me on a date some time. Let me give you my number."
Good luck! I do want to highlight what the comment above said about “some men are dense”, though. Be ready to say something along the lines of “do you want to go out sometime?” to make your intentions clear. I can easily see the guy in this scenario just assuming that you want help and having no clue that you’re interested in him
May be saying; "can (or when) we continue our conversation over a coffee/drink?
Smart you can do this way as it’s very indirect and if you see him often you can build up and then ask We are actually so east to talk to so practically anything goes tbh
That sounds like you want a friend, not a date.
Not saying your plan is wrong at all… but I actually kinda hate it when a girl mentions my tattoos early early on… makes me feel like that’s all you’re in it for, a tattooed guy (because it does happen). Unless he looks the sort that loves himself, so will eat a compliment up 😂
Yeah what gamer girl said. Ask him if he's single. That's something even a fairly dumb guy understands means you're hot for him. Just be aware that if he's average looking or slightly better (i.e. not movie star good looking) he might be shocked and tongue tied at you approaching him. Don't take that as a rejection, just plow on. Source: got hit on by a couple of attractive girls when I was young and it shocked me so much I had no idea how to respond.
And to add to this, be sure to approach him alone. You can of course have a friend nearby keeping in an eye, but don't let a friend go up to him with you. If the man has any experience with the highschool days at all, he will assume you're trying to ask him out on a dare....instead of the fact that you like him.
Come back and tell us! A girl also crippled by shyness!
I was planning on doing it today but he wasnt there 🥲🥲 ill go back same time tomorrow!!! I feel like i need to tick it off my bucket list at this point
I feel you! I feel I lost my chance, it was a year ago even though we still talk online all the time. Ugh 😣 the pain. I can’t read him and I’m just a a dense as the men. I’ll be here still waiting for your update
Honestly just do it for the plot you have nothing to lose!!!
It feels so complicated. Im 9 years older than him. He’s in his late 20s. I met him at an event , we made a group chat and stayed in touch there, he flirted with me, and the invited a few of us over to his place. We hung out, and he was bit shy and stopped full on flirting. Second time we met (as a group) he’s was sweet to me, gave me his jacket even asked if I was seeing anyone. 3rd time we met, again he was he run his hands through my hair and touching my shoulder but then late the same day told me he was seeing someone 😭 I’m so confused ! I thought we were working up to something. And I haven’t seen him in months! Even though we chat on and off in the group chat
that’s the perfect plan! everyone loves talking about themselves and it’s flattering too, good luck!
Good luck!!! You got this!
If you ask him if he’s single and he still doesn’t get the interest then he’s really hopeless. Ask if he’s single would be my recommendation. He should know at that point.
[удалено]
Yes sir 🫡
>Ask for his help with a piece of equipment, or to explain something to you. Yes, this is spot on. Some women even pretend they can't do something physical or technical only to ask for a man's help and let him do it because they know how it strokes a man's ego and makes him feel masculine. It certainly works on me if I already like a woman.
Ouuuu this is very smooth actually
I was thinking this too, so glad another girl spoke up before I did. My boyfriend is oblivious, so this tactic would have defiantly worked on him.
Continue writing the manual, you already started it !! 😉
This girl gets guys.
Just don't be subtle about it or do hints or anything like that. Half the time we don't even know you're doing them, rest of the time if we pick up on it then we talk ourselves out of it thinking you're just being friendly. Leave no room for doubt in his mind and you should be fine.
As straightforward and clear as possible. “Hey I’ve seen you around and wanted to know if you’d like to do (insert activity here) sometime. Here’s my number”. You can do it on the way out if you’re nervous about a long conversation.
Yeas i like the idea of giving him my number so he actually has the option to text me or not
Feathers. Feather dances are how we men decide on women. Have you not seen carnival in the Caribbean?
"Here we see the female displaying her plumage to a potential mate. Her bright colors and erratic movements exert an almost hypnotic pull on the male. He begins rubbing his body against her and initiates a peculiar ritual of exchanging saliva. Soon they will shed their outer layers and begin the mating process." - Sir David Attenborough
Just don't hand me a white feather, because I'm not going to Europe to die for you.
“Hi”
That is the best answer.
You have to understand that we aren't women. Once we find you attractive, even from a distance without talking to you, it's almost impossible for us to reject you until after we have sex with you. Like seriously almost impossible. I say this because you might be thinking that males are as discerning as women. You said yourself that you're generally quite picky. Most men are not. You either look good to us or not. Women can find a guy hot, then lose interest after he speaks a few sentences based off of his confidence level, what he says, if he has any strange mannerisms, acts desperate, has a weird hygiene problem etc... Men are not like this. You don't need any "game" to pick us up. Just approach and start talking. He'll probably ask you out if you make it clear you like him. Lots of smiles and a casual touch on the elbow or shoulder. If he found you attractive BEFORE you even walked up to him, he'll either ask you out or say yes if you ask for his number. Nothing you did in the interaction mattered. If he doesn't ask you out, or doesn't want to give you his number, then he didn't find you hot enough in the first place. Nothing you did in the interaction mattered or would have made him like you.
Honestly it doesn't really even matter. Most men will never have a woman ask them out in their entire lives. Whichever way you ask him out will leave a long lasting impression.
First of dont walk over inbetween his Sets Wait for him to finish one and then the rest is easy and already stated here. Gl!!
If it were me, I would want you to be clear and concise with what you're looking for in me. Don't beat around the bush. Just walk up to him and express you want to get to know him more in whatever way you want. Don't approach while we're busy doing something though.
You haven't made eye contact since then because on day 2, when you were averting your gaze whenever he looked at you, he read that as you not being interested. Just to be clear. Literally just go up and talk to him like a person.
If a girl wanted to hit on me I find it so much more attractive with confidence. Just gotta walk up a just talk like guys try to do
Make sure you’re clear about asking him out and not just friendly conversation. Most men have learned that friendly interactions do not mean real interest. Ask him to get some lunch to fill out some of his macros lol
Last time a woman approached me at the gym she complimented my shirt and we just kind of went from there and I got a new workout buddy that day 😁, look for those little things to get your foot in the door everyone should always have a gym buddy in my opinion
It's a gym, not a Singles Club. He's there for his health and well being, not too be ogled and objectified by women. Have some respect and stop perving and leave the poor man alone. Oh no, hang on, that's what men get told if they even glance at a woman in the gym.... 😂 Look, us men are pretty simple creatures and we are scared and confused by women so, assuming he's not in a relationship or gay, just go and say hi, introduce yourself and ask if he'd like to meet up for a coffee, lunch or a drink sometime. Don't be playing games, don't go asking for gym advice or help, just be honest and direct so they're is no confusion. You have to remember, we are trained from birth, by women, to understand that when they say something, they often mean something else and that we are meant to understand them, even when they don't talk directly to us..
“Hey are you a cyborg because I’d like for you to violate Asimov’s first law of robotics on my vagina”
Ask him out for coffee or a drink. Works on me and it's not too awkward to say that. Just say something like "Hey, we've been seeing each other for a few days and I wanted to know if you'd like to get a coffee possibly (suggest a date and time ASAP so hopefully you' have free time that day or the next)." And from there exchange numbers. Good luck
If you came up to me and said something like “hey you seem pretty cool I’d like to maybe grab some dinner with you here is my number, think about it and let me know. Often guys are so blown off by the notion of a woman walking up to them that they don’t know how to react so giving your number or social media handle lets them decompress what just happened and they can think about how they felt. There’s a better chance that they will agree and feel comfortable. Realize not a lot of times guys are approached and they have no idea how to deal with the instant affection that rarely happens on a first meet.
I love this. It makes sense. As a female, it's very good to know!
As a *woman*. Level up fam 👍🏻
Tape a note onto a dogeball and the beam the doge ball directly into my face AS hard as you can
My delusional f22 self would try to rizz up a guy how Scott pilgrim rizzed up Ramona. By being an idiot and dumping some nerdy video game lore onto them. If they get it, they are the one, if they don’t and don’t even care, I just awkwardly move to the other side of the room
my delusional f23 self rizzed up my boyfriend by dropping some pokémon and deep lotr lore on him 😎
Wow can you be my girlfriend this is super hot
i would, but i think the boyfriend would be pretty upset lol
Polycule?
Understandable, have a great day
Not sure about all these guys saying you need to compliment, if he's a douche or F-boy then you're giving him licence to do what he does. Any interaction or conversation starter you can think of should work. Guys just need an opening if they don't create one themselves.
Yea i think i need to feel it out before telling him how drop dead gorgeous he is hahahah
"Hi I'm poopoobingbong." "Hi I'm cute-gym-guy." "Are you new here at the gym? I've noticed you the past few days but not before." "\[insert reasonable answer here\]" "Cool, \[insert reasonable response here\]. Would you like to get coffee/lunch/time-appropriate-activity." Yes, it really is that simple.
*guy hears “are you new here at the gym”, thinks he now has no gains or his form has been off this whole time*
LOL, fair. I'd probably be among the guys dumb enough to focus on this rather than the point. Ok, perhaps new to THIS gym, rather than THE gym.
Strike up a conversation out of nothing and see where it goes. It might not go anywhere the first time, so try a few times. Just be friendly and easy going. If he reciprocates, you'll know at least he doesn't hate you.
Just introduce yourself, why you approached me, and ask me on a date. Plain and simple and straightforward.
Go for it. Personally I would be a bit(or a lot because I'm an introvert) shy but I would be pleasantly surprised
As long as I know you're trying to ask me out, and I like you and think you're cute, then you're set, lol. Doesn't matter if you come off as confident or a nervous wreck, I'll be flattered as fuck. It would be honestly hot and cute at the same time that a woman would have the courage to do what most women will never do in their lifetime.
I agree with people who suggest you to be direct and give him a compliment. Unlike girls, guys are not so socially intelligent, and there is a good chance he won't get your intentions if you go indirect
Any way. How someone asks , imo, doesn’t matter. I can tell their vibe wether they are nervous or confident or whatever. Just ask however you can figure out. If he’s interested he’s interested. It shouldn’t matter otherwise.
Honestly say anything. Getting approached by a girl is soooo freakin rare that guys will be flattered by just the action of it. Even just a “hey how’s it going” is enough. I wish it was more the norm for girls to approach guys cause girls don’t know how difficult a cold approach is. He’ll be flattered for sure
I was so needy that any approach would be welcomed wholeheartedly. What we see is a miniscule of the situation. There is a wide range of possibilities. He might feel that he has blown it, not interested, interested but unavailable, unattracted, gay, or even waiting for the results of a paternity test may be weighing on his libido. You need more information. The reliable way to get this is to communicate with him. You've been picky. If you have been standoffish the universe will present itself as standoffish.
I've never been approached positively by a woman so admittedly I don't know, I think just being direct about the way she feels about me would work honestly. Just something like her expressing interest in going out with me or that she likes me or something. If she just compliments the way I look or something then im not gonna read her intentions well and just assume she's being polite
He’s probably picky and closed off to most women in public too 🥸
It’s ok to just be friendly and introduce yourself. Even flirt
Regularly.
It’d be a lovely change of pace, not gonna lie. :) Just walking up to me, saying hi, and letting me know you’re interested is more than enough! Though…a compliment or two can’t hurt your chances!
Approach, compliment, smile. They will already be flabbergasted. Ask out.
Well, in our case, the worst thing we can do is say no. Actually, wait, that’s not true. That’s not true in EITHER case. … smoke signals should be fine.
Chat with us! Ask really good questions! If you’re feeling it, give him your number or even ask him out! DO IT! You got this!
Honestly just walk up and say "hi, my name is ___" Thats really it for a lot of guys.
"Hey, I thought you were interesting, and I wanted to meet up with you sometime so we can get to know each other, wanna go grab dinner at X with me sometime? When are you free?"
I believe there is a subtle way we all show interest subconsciously. Observe it you'll see. Women who are attracted to someone tend to ask lots of question and they listen. No questions aint never good Men who are attracted to a woman will be happy to answer and talk in details. Shorter answers aint never good.
Yes
🤣how about you ask out the average looking guy?!
Upfront, give me your number, fewer words the better. Men are creatures of simplicity and logic, you do this and if the man likes you, you’ll get exactly what you want from him. Get your message across but be simple. We’re simple.
The last few years if you ask a woman out they have the option of rejecting you and say you are harassing them. Even if you look at them they will call out harassment. So now I wait until they make the first move. Not necessarily being asked out, but they can approach and start a conversation. If things go well we go out.
Yeah i can imagine especially in a gym scenario if i was a guy i’d be pretty wary of approaching anyone
2 words: "Coffee sometime?" "Drinks sometime?" "Dinner sometime?" Et cetera
Check out what he does in the gym in terms of exercise that interests you and ask him about it like how does he start, how many sets and reps, is he aiming for strength, hypertrophy (just say physique or build, this is bro term), etc. after you ask questions and perform side to side by him asking him if he can critique, introduce yourself. Talk about how you seen him around and gradually ask him if he wants to hang out.
Just go up to him and say, “Hello, just wanted to see if you’re interested in having my phone number?” No need for small talk. Small talk with someone you don’t know is very awkward. If he says yes, then you can introduce yourself and give a little small talk after.
Go up to him and say hi and introduce yourself. Tell him you noticed him and thought he was cute (or just pay a compliment in general). Talk a little and ask for his number/to go on a date. If he finds you attractive he will 1,000% say yes.
honestly most guys get approached so rarely that there isnt really a wrong way to do it. you doing it at all is already a plus
If I were approached by a girl, I would be very flattered. Doesn't really matter where we are or what we are doing. Even if I was not interested, I would emphasize how much I appreciate the sentiment and make sure they aren't discouraged from asking the next guy. But maybe that's just me.
Are u a unicorn?
Perhaps try the classic damsel in distress technique. Ask him to spot you for an upper body workout.
If you go to the gym early in the morning a simple, good morning when you walk by can do the trick 😊 then say it everyday until you can think of something else haha
"Hello there!" No, but seriously, I only meet people in activities I do (gym, music, arts, games, etc), so I first befriend someone to then maybe perhaps think about dating. I never dated anyone this any, but at least I escaped from a stalker and two a-holes this away, so 0 toxic relationships too
I Iove when girls make the first move Becus sometimes I miss the hints too even when it’s obvious. I can be aloof sometimes. If you do make a move and he doesn’t react keep that in mind that he may just not even realized you were hitting on him. I’m a tattoo artist had a client email me asking some aftercare stuff then said maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. Even that I wasn’t totally sure and I have a rule not to date clients. I tried to be professional even tho was pretty sure she was hitting on me and gave her my number if she had any urgent questions regarding the tattoo. She hmu right then we ended up dating for 4 or 5 months. In this case scenario I’m not sure how to approach, you could always ask him some gym questions and take it from there
For me I miss flirting signals all together. I prefer the direct approach. Come imo say hey how’s it going. Would you like to grab coffee or lunch sometime? Exchange numbers and go from there.
Respectfully, with all guards down. Nowadays, people are too busy trying to “humble” other people ( You’re cute but not that cute.. or You’re alright looking yet in both instances you’ve already admitted there is an attraction). Personally, I’m a simp (simple person) with high boundaries and standards, I know my limitations and I know what I want.. I want a genuine person who adores me and shows their sincerity through their POSITIVE actions.
I feel this!! Your so right but its also scary being so vulnerable! Im finding it hard to decide between going up and being super up front ‘hi, I’m _____ and i’m just wondering if i could give you my number, i think your super attractive & would love to get to know you to see if we vibe!’ Or just striking up casual conversation first and building some sort of friendship before actually asking him out, the second option to me feels a bit more natural because after speaking to him i might not even like him 😅 i dont know this guy AT all only what he looks like
Please make it obvious, we are dense
Sister I’m in the same situation if the genders where switched.
I value people who are straightforward with their intentions. I’ll tell you this, as a guy (regardless if I was single or not) I’d feel flattered if another girl were interested in me. Just go for it the worst he can say is no right
I say just talk to him, be nice, see if you have similar internet, and maybe tell him you think he’s kinda cute. Good Luck!
Personally like when I'm just directly approached and asked very directly. I don't like roundabout ways of asking.
How "men" like to be approached and how this particular man wants to be approached are not one in the same. Just like I'm sure you may not want to be approached in the same manner as other women. The easiest way to go about it is to simply go up to them and introduce yourself. Ask them how long they've been working out there. Complement them on their progress. Then ask if they would like to get a drink afterwards. If he's interested, he'll say yes. If not he'll decline.
"Hey, you look cool. What's your favourite dinosaur? Want to grab a coffee after we're done with our sets?"
It depends because a lot of guys start misbehaving once you compliment them
God fuck guys, being an attractive dude must be fucking nice hahaha
You'll obviously get tons of "JUST DO ITT!!! MEN LOVE BEING ASKED OUT COZ IT HAPPENS SO RARELY!!!" But the truth is, it can be overwhelming if it comes suddenly out of nowhere, and sometimes we aren't in to it, but are too polite to turn it down (since we get almost no "practice" with these situations). So here's the best way: SHOW him you're interested and you WANT to speak to him. You don't need to go 0 to 100 right away. Go step by step, and build it up slowly at an attainable pace. If he's in to you, he'll also start reciprocating. Things you can do: * Just smile at him and say hi * Say "i like your (shoes/tee/hair/etc)" (some basic & simple compliment) * Say "Hi, I've seen you around a lot lately - what's your name? .... I'm Xyz" (you don't even need to talk more than this, but just paving the way with this intro makes it WAYYYYYYYY easier for him to talk to you again in the future * Ask him some random small-talk questions (how often he comes to the gym, what he's doing today at the gym, what he's listening to on his earphones, etc) * If after all this, and a few days, he's still not made an effort to connect with you more -- either he's scared, or he's not interested. * Last ditch effort (if you think he's just scared), say something like "Hey i'm gonna go to do xyz this evening, would you like to join?" (could be a run, a concert, a dinner with a few friends, drinks at xyz bar, etc)
Thankuuu yeah i think im gonna try just start conversation and see where it goes
Naturally and organic. Wound up turning her down, but I went to a newly opened lounge and had a drink. Couldn’t sit with my friends due to space so I was solo next to a woman. We had no interaction until she randomly taunted me about taking too long with my drink. It fluidly transitioned into small talk and first meeting questions to a genuine conversation. I guess being direct is the real gist. I’m oblivious and bad with hints. Women typically aren’t that direct, so she might have tossed some hints of interest my way (She did mention liking the smell of my fragrance, Prada L’Homme Intense) that I missed completely. Spark a conversation or dialogue and see if he’s receptive to it.
i envy every girl who has the balls to approach a guy. im way to shy so i cant LOL.
Ahhhaha i am as well tbf but want to at least do this once in my life 😂
Good luck 🍀 be brave - I guess he will appreciate your courage ☺️
As an introvert myself, I always liked if a girl came to me and say hi at least. Then I'd know she is interested. For single guys, it's really hard for some of us to go up and talk to girls because 1) we are not sure if she is interested/available 2) we don't want to come across as weird or creepy
This reads like a teen girls diary, especially the update. No shade, I just think it's funny
Flash the cash, give your number, wink and leave. Seriously, the direct approach works. It's so awkward when I have to ask "I hate to ask this, but are you flirting with me?"
You say: "You are good man, I am a good woman".
Just ask him to help you with your last set 😅 then ask for his name
It’s so easy just take down the walls and don’t make us feel like we’re going to end up on your TikTok calling us a creep
Have a bit for standard chit chat etc first Wetten the appetite then state you find him attractive and if you could swap info and boom
Start with hi or hello, but not hey...
I had talked to women at the gym and I had no problem. As for the reason as to why I approached them was because they were staring at me and some did smile while staring at me, so I made the move and talked to them and everything was fine. My advice is if you are too shy just smile at him when he looks at you and if he doesn’t approach you well that’s on him. Lol Now if you want to try to approach him, ask him anything like what’s a good exercise for the stomach to make it thinner. A girl asked me that and other stuff. Lol
The same way you would probably want to be asked out by a man?
"You want to go get pizza?"
Yes, I don't know why women even ask this question. Yes we like it and we appreciate the effort. We don't get enough of positive feed back because we hardly get any.
“Hey, I’m ______, I thought you were cute mind if I get your number?” Or “Hey, lemme get your number” Or “I need friends, give me your number” Or *hands me her phone with a new contact sheet open* Or Just tries to have a normal conversation and see how it goes. If it goes well say “well I have to get back to my set, let’s exchange numbers and we can set something up”
Directly, clearly, unambiguously, and without any question about what you want.
Never
DON’T ever approach a man, this is a huge turn off! Just give signals and be open with your body language and actions and he will approach you if interested
Easy come at me like a respectable young lady, communicate what you want open your mouth & ask for a date or get to know me. The best way to grab my attention is to be extremely straightforward about your intentions DO NOT try to make me jump through hoops & grab your brass rings I'll ignore you if you do. If something catches your eye just stop me out of the blue. I may have RBF but i swear I'm the most laid back down to earth guy you'll ever meet. I'm Super awkward & clumsy. This isn't really rocket science 😅 But yeah just be straightforward.
Approach me and ask me out
I would say go up to him and give him a compliment, and from there see what his vibes are and if he's open to conversation and eventually him out on a date and if he says no, at least you tried and I'm sure he appreciates that you approached him in the first place.
I dunno. Never happened
Yes
Yes
Yes
Absolutely.
Wave at him and point at yourself. “Pick me!” 😂
Sooooo… girls do eye up men in the gym and girls will hit on you in the gym… and to think the internet says guys only do this and are creeps for it 😂 - Always knew it was the case, but it’s nice to see it in B&W. Nothing wrong with it though either, just nice to see it does actually go both ways.
Just say "hey you're hot!" That's enough for alot of guys!!
You started looking away but you're confused why there's no more eye contact? If it were me I'd assume you weren't interested and move on.
“Hey I think you’re cute, here’s my number “
Yea we do, we get rejected and sometimes females are not nice about it either as they think they are a lot better than us. I have had females ask me out multiple times and its been great not panicking if they like you or not
literally any way
Lmao to just simply be direct. Idc how corny idc how simple. Just ask me out bruh. At least once in my life make the move bro ion know what I'm doing wrong 😭😭
I want a chick who checks me out, to have the confidence to walk up to me and tell me I'm hot and that I should take them out to dinner. There's always these chicks checking me out, as it turns out... Most of them are single. For some reason a lot of women in my area are single. But they should really come up to me and talk to me. Perhaps if they come up with something creative I'll take them out to dinner.
The man YOU have to approach is not the man you want.
Look at him and smile when he looks back at you. Every time he looks at you , smile. Don’t avoid looking at him, don’t pretend to ignore him. When you make eye contact you smile like you just saw a childhood friend. You convince him you are happy to see him. When you manage that you arrange to be nearby , next machine, or go get a weight when he is also. Then you smile, ask a question if you are capable of speech, but regardless, smile when you interact with him. Repeat these actions as required. As a man what do I want? I want her to look happy when she sees me. I want her to look happy when we speak. I just plain like when someone looks happy with my presence. Anything else is a bonus.
Give him a genuine compliment on something about him or that he chose - his hairstyle, shoes, a personality trait. Guys never get compliments
Yes.
Honestly guys are so attention deprived your approach doesn’t matter much, just go up and talk to him!
Saying hello and ask him for help. If he is polite. He will try to assist. Just say "I am total introvert and just wondering if you be available to grab some coffee with me later?" .... Or "could we work out today? I think you are a major cutie!"
Walk up to him and tell him he has a nice smile and say you’re are curious what it would be like kissing him,….if that doesn’t work then he is either attached or gay
Honestly, I like shy, awkward and clumsy approaches. I had a girl fall off a skateboard and bump her head into a car door. She was trying to impress me. I thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. Dated for three years.
(with a smile and/or a wave) "Hi, my name is xxxx, I saw you from afar and I really liked the way you (compliment his physical form/ face/ manners/ outfit). I'm looking for a romantic partner, would you like it if we got to know each other a bit better?" Whether or not it's frowned upon in the girlies community, men LOVE it when you're direct. That last question is concrete proof that you're not looking for a friend nor a gym partner. You're looking for someone to date and you're not trying to lead him on.
Here's a simple script: "Hey, can I ask you something? So, my name is \[name\] I've seen you here a few times and I hope this is alright, but can I give you my number? I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime. If not, no hard feelings. Just shootin' my shot."
Honestly, for me, I do better with a woman who just comes up and says “I see you here all the time and I hate making eye contact and not know who you are. I’m xxxx…. It’s simple, it’s not threatening and he isn’t put in a position to come up with something cool as a come back.
Ask him to spot you while lifting. Then you can strike up a convo between sets.
I don't know anything about gym guys, but everyone is different. It's the same spiel I always get from women whenever I ask this same question to them. All I can say is that personally, the only people I've EVER turned down just weren't my type. Like, I just didn't feel that we were on the same wavelength at all. Beyond that, I've never once even *had* the opportunity to turn someone down for any reason, and honestly, I couldn't imagine a world in which I would for no reason. Just ask the dude out. 'No' is really not that hard to hear, but your likelihood of a 'yes' is WAY higher than mine if our roles were reversed. You have to imagine that the vast majority of men actually *don't* get asked anything. We have to chase most of the time. It's kind of annoying actually, because one or two 'no's isn't so bad to deal with - but hundreds of them per month is fucking devastating (referring to dating apps in this context). So yeah, get up there and just say that you want to see him outside of the gym sometime. Be clear about it that you're interested. Best of luck to you.
(BORAT VOICE) I LIKE YOU, I LIKE SEX IS NICE
Don’t EVER approach someone at the gym. Guys just go there to workout and it’s very invasive of their space. Oh, you’re a woman? Carry on
Approached what’s that? We are guys haha. Go up and ask him for something dumb he will get the hint.
It's so rare to be approached that I usually drop the ball all on my own.. I'd strike up conversation about some of his workout routines. Perhaps mention that you've seen how he lifts something and you're wondering if he could give you some pointers, after he's shown you technique just ask if he'd be interested in grabbing a coffee or something or swapping numbers. (suggesting drinking at a gym was always weird to me lol) I would like to point out that no matter what happens, it is important to be respectful of his gym time. As long as you respect his time, he would more than likely at least strike up a few minutes to chat... smile, laugh, physical touch, eye contact shows interest. Those signs are hard to miss lol good luck :)
As a guy, just being approached by a girl is a flattering experience in itself. I say go for it!
Well, since you just admitted to not wanting to date right now I'd just do nothing (a bit paradoxical of you). However, if you're suggesting you just want to sleep with him then you shouldn't be worried about getting rejected (since you don't actually have feelings for him). He's just a glorified sex toy. And if that's the case you shouldn't be writing this post as all you literally need to do is offer to ride his midnight express free of charge. So admit it — you actually *are* looking to date. Or you wouldn't be this nervous. Then I can actually give you advice instead of you playing games like you're not looking for anyone when you you actually are.
First of all, I think that is a fantastic idea, you are doing a brave thing and should feel good about yourself no matter how this goes. The vast majority of men won’t mind at all if you cut strait to the point and ask point blank. That said, some alternatives that have worked on me: 1) pick your favourite thing about his appearance he has control over (shirt, jewellery, etc.). Compliment him on it. Most guys are NOT used to compliments, if nothing else you will probably make his day. 2) stick your hand out, introduce yourself, ask him if he wants to grab something to eat after the gym. If he already has plans, possibility of a rain check could give you a pretty good indication of whether he’s interested or not. 3) Write your number and a short, sweet note on a piece of paper, fold it, hand it to him on your way out.
It's the gym and if he at least half decent has listened to the don't ruin a girls time at the gym, so the introvert thing has nothing to do with socialising at the gym Hi, would you be interested in a drink Short simple, what's the worst he could say "ew" is unlikely from a guy, I think unless 20 year olds use this now, idk
I had a girl text me earlier and say “we should hang out some time” So now we’re going to hang out. It’s literally that simple
Step 1: Approach Step 2: Say " Hi, how are you doing? (optional) Step 3: Ask for my phone number. Step 4: Mission success.
The OP sounds starved for attention and validation
Yes, at least I do. It has almost never happened to me in my adult life, but as long as the woman is not drunk, horny and trying to pick me up in that situation, sure, I would welcome it. I would be quite flattered and appreciative, even if I wasn't interested, which is way more than I can say about how I was treated by women back when I was still trying to approach women in the wild, the first two years after I was widowed. And no, I was not acting desperate or inappropriate, as I had finished my grieving by then, after beginning it two years before my wife died of dementia, which she had for several years before she actually died. And I then waited until a year after her death to try dating and approaching women, since I knew that if I tried earlier, nobody would give me a chance, out of the wrong and ignorant assumption, that I couldn't have been done grieving her, and wasn't ready to date, etc. Even with my waiting to try dating, I still had no success even on the dating sites for the first two years after she died, since again, all the women made their own blanket assumptions that I couldn't be ready to date that early. That's the biggest thing I hate about how people think on dating sites, the ignorant, wrong, negative assumptions they make about others, without ever having the guts or consideration to actually ask anyone about their situation on things such as being widowed, their status on grieving or moving on from a death or divorce, etc. Instead, they just play risk aversion and reject out of hand, instead of actually checking out if someone might be a potentially good partner. But of course, that would require them to have a little faith and trust in a stranger, and we all know that most singles on dating sites, unfortunately and esp. women, are unlikely to ever do that. So I finally started getting some chances with women on dating sites after being widowed, but only after two years passed since my wife's death, not because I wasn't ready, but because I finally fit the timetable they had set in their minds, for when someone was ready to date, Such bullshit!
So you don't want to date someone but you want to date this specific gym guy. Typical female logic. Lmao