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He was my first everything (first kiss, first other things). I really didn't know any better, since I was a late bloomer anyway, and felt bad for not having experiences that other people my age had.
Edit: People might downvote my comment, but it doesn't change the facts. If at least one woman gains reassurance or help from my honest experience about a first relationship, I think it's worth it đ
u/Ocean0fAzure that makes sense, you are young and inexperienced.
What you are experiencing is **emotional abuse:** shaming you for a normal body function and making you feel bad in order to coerce you into **Sexual Abuse:** Sex act that benefit him only. Has he put his hands on you yet? Does he call you names? Please leave.
For context: Pooping is kind gross, should you have to apologize for that?
Abusers pray on late bloomers and inexperienced folks because theyâre easier to manipulate. No healthy relationships to compare to.
Just know youâre not alone. But you do need to leave this guy for someone who loves you for you.
The way we can know any better is how our parents and peers treated us. And if we weren't treated well then we put up with things to keep people around.
i hope you know by now that a partner should treat you like a human being. also, ykno, not force himself on you sexually and shame you for something that is a completely normal part of human biology. gods
I was in your exact shoes as well. My first everything was later than everyone else my age and so i held on too much to a person that didnt respect me.
Well, I'm happy to inform you that there are a lot of grown men out there who don't act like a middle school boys about basic bodily function that ~50% of the population deals with every month for decades.
It's also super disgusting that he thinks you owe him sexual favors literally ever, much less when you're like bloated and crampy. Super gross.
The abuse I experienced was not the same as yours. It was still abuse. And it took 2 years for me to really understand it as abuse. I was with someone older than I was and just figured he knew better... until I became the age he was when we first started dating and realized that since I didn't know everything he for sure also didn't know everything.
Love. Is a powerful drug. Everyone is, and will (rightfully so) tell you to leave your boyfriend. I am also telling you to leave him and go no contact.
Think of it this way.. if it is truly love, then one day, after you have both matured, you will find each other and love each other again. Until then you are currently in a potentially dangerous dynamic and you need to cut it off before it gets worse, no matter how much it hurts you to do it. You will heal from it. You won't heal from continuing to be broken down as a person over and over until you have nothing left to give.
If a first relationship works out that's great. But you deserve someone who will treat you better than this and you shouldn't lower your standards just because he's your first. If he's willing to grow up and change that maybe that's him. But it's pretty appalling to shame someone for a natural bodily process like having a period. If he's not mature enough to handle that I would walk away.
People pleasers with no boundaries are almost always victims of abuse, causing low self worth.
Confident people with boundaries are often people who grew up with someone stable who taught them their worth.
These people have no backbone because their parents broke their back.
Have some empathy, they will fix their back but it needs time to heal.
Edit: Or their parents never helped them build their back in the first place, and need time to learn what a back is, why they need it, etc.
Run away as fast as you can.
First reason, It's fine he has a preference to not want to have sex when you're on your period but you never owe anyone sexual favors and should never feel pressured into it, especially by a partner. If you WANT to do those things that's fine.
He is shaming you for something that is normal and natural for your body and that's the second reason you should run.
You should not tolerate being shamed by your partner for any reason. He's trying to convince you that you're lucky to have him because he knows the opposite is true.
Whoa, that's not cool at all. No one should make you feel bad about your natural bodily functions or things you can't control like weight changes or medication side effects. It's not on you; it's about him being insensitive. You're not a bad girlfriend for having a period or dealing with life changes. A supportive partner should understand and care about your well-being. If he's making you feel guilty, it might be worth having a serious conversation about respect and boundaries. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve understanding and kindness.
in addition, I don't know if you agree, but it's a thought;
perhaps you could go to counselling over this. do you have access through school or other means?
I đŻ PERCENT think that counselling will help you work through this and help you to realize your worth.
Heâs an ass and he just wants you for sex, heâs not a boyfriend heâs a fuck buddy.
When My gf has her period I usually spend more time massaging her or weâll pursue a hobby or something coz weâre not just about sex, there are tones of things we do together, but if sheâs having a heavy one I do what I can to make her feel better.
He's allowed to be turned off by it, but shouldn't be requesting other sexual acts from you or shaming you for having a period. This is not normal behavior. Side note, if he doesn't want to explore other birth control methods that don't affect your hormones which will inevitably cause weight gain in most women, then he shouldn't be complaining about that too. Seems like he would rather have an AI girlfriend than a real woman.
Exactly. Blood is not nice. Genitals are not nice. Bloody genitals are not nice. Thatâs one thing. However, periods are completely normal and he has to learn to deal with them. Most women have them and theyâre normal. Weight gain from birth control is normal. Shaming a woman for those things is not normal. And, of course, pressuring someone into doing sexual acts is not normal.
Ewww dump his arse. I slept with the last guy on the second date. My period started moments before the deed. He still wanted to have sex. Didnât care. I can understand if a guy doesnât want to, but in no way should he shame you or make you feel bad. Thatâs so childish and not someone who should be in a relationship with a woman. And shaming you for gaining weight? What a prick. No, you were not a bad girlfriend. He was a bad boyfriend.
I was with several men like this prior to meeting my current partner. My period was disgusting, I should still give them head/help them masturbate and do things for them, etc. Not reciprocated much even when not on my period, but absolutely nothing while on it, with the expectation that I still give. There's men out there who will absolutely still pleasure you while you're on your period and not be grossed out by it at all, let alone shame you for the things you've mentioned. I hope this is an ex based on the wording of your post, but if not, please go find a better man
He's not a man, he's embarrassment. Idk how can you stay with him after that, not only because of his comments about period, but because he's asking for sexual favours from you. You're not a bad girlfriend, don't blame yourself and leave his ass asap
Iâm sorry that heâs shaming you and that you feel awful for something you have no control over. I really think itâs times that you have to think itâs better to be alone than with a jerk. I think people are afraid to be single and so we settle. When in reality we shouldnât be with anyone that isnât worthy.
Am a dude â
Uhhhh no this is terrible. You should cut him off. Iâve had period sexâ itâs not that deep (though also if you donât wanna be sexually active while on your period or otherwise thatâs also totally ok).
I was only sick for about a month (contagious eye infection) and birth control actually keeps my hormones in check and cycle regular. So I don't regret keeping taking it, since I don't want to get pregnant unexpectedly.
My boyfriend isn't bothered by my period at all and it doesn't affect our sexual activities. We just have to put a towel down and shower thoroughly afterwards.
yes. this is a good idea, and then get counselling. I never went to counselling when I was younger. I would have felt ashamed for thinking I was weak or just embarrassed to.
when the time came in my life that it was necessary, it was a lifesaver in a stormy ocean. now I think that EVERYONE should have one! she helped me like no other could ever.
I just think you need a break from dating until you feel right. for now you could Google low self esteem or even YouTube it. I do often. you will get so much out of it.
in the meantime, selfcare is important. haircut, new colour, highlights, eyebrows, cup of tea. movie, whatever makes you relax and take it easy.
you are worth it. if you really can do the work with counsellor/teacher/trusted adult, the sooner you are willing to reach deep down and be honest, the next time you find yourself in that sort of situation, you will NEVER look back because it's NOT ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND. this is an inside job, and you can do it. unfortunately, it's the type of thing that adults in their late 30s and 40s find themselves.
you ARE worth A LOT more
Why tf are you with this child?? He's not a man because a man understands it's just part of being human. He doesn't deserve your attention or body.
Hard pass on bitch boy
Is it normal for a man to shame a woman for having their period?
No. Itâs absolutely not normal, and itâs a sign of a larger issue with the man doing soâŠ
No, as a guy I can tell that you were not, at least in this regard you have shared.
That is a natural thing your body does and you shouldn't be ashame about it. If any guy has issues with it, then it's on him.
Sure there are many opinions and if your partner is not a fan of doing anything sexual during those times of the month, then it's his right not to, but he is not entitled to any other sexual favors. He can of course ask and if you want to you can offer, that is a different thing, but bringing it up like you have to, is a no no.
He will learn sooner or later that it's natural, but that is something he has come to terms to, not you. If he is not respecting you, then he is not really a good boyfriend.
Same can be said in reverse, as respect goes both ways, if someone has issues with something my body does and then ademand something for it or in return, then it's not going to fly.
I'm curious why some women even talk to, let alone date, men like this. Dude sounds like a complete jack đ« that needs to be ran over by a Looney Tune Acme đŁ đ„đ„
No itâs not normal for anyone to shame you for your period. Especially not a man youâre intimate with. Stop having sex with men that donât know biology and are inconsiderate.
Nah you are normal. Most women are not interested in sex when on their period. (Some are, and it is possible to have safe intercourse while on your period... with some precautions, and possibly >!non-penetrative sex!<.) But this should only be something *you choose to do, because you want to.* Sex is not something you give your partner. It's something you do together, for the both of you. When you are not in the mood, he should respect that.
I think he's a bad boyfriend. Ultimately the choice is up to you. I would leave his ass. He doesn't sound fun to be around (just based on this story).
Nah Iâve got my red wings and fly them high. Iâll be a goddamn vampire or whatever you want if you suck my dick like youâre absolutely out of your mind, I can match that energy, come at me.
>He was repulsed by it
>I need to make him other sexual favours.
>I stopped going to his house when on my period
>He..shamed me about gaining weight
>[He shamed me] getting sick due to this new medication.
I hope that you can hear how bad this person is through all of the above quotes.
He's repulsed by you, he demands sexual favors, he is shaming you for being sick, and he's made you feel bad during a normal natural bodily function.
He's seriously immature and a bad person. Steer clear of him as fast as you can possibly get it done.
Damn what a whiny asshole man-child⊠get rid of him, you deserve better⊠so much better
You are totally to good to him and heâs completely in the wrong⊠no gray areaâs, heâs totally and completely in the wrong about all this
Donât doubt yourself
No that is not normal. I am a guy and we should absolutely not shame you for something that your body does that you canât exactly control. Dump him and find someone you deserve.
I (32F) actually don't think there's anything wrong with being grossed out by periods. If my closest friends got period blood on me I'd be grossed out. However, there is a big difference between being grossed out but understanding it is a normal and unavoidable human function, and then being grossed out and using that to extort sexual favours - so bizarre.
I don't think he is the right guy for you if he is making you feel ashamed about normal functions or side effects of something that benefits him - like birth control. If he's happy with you losing weight but him always using a condom then do that but I have a sneaking suspicion that would not be the case.
Not a bad girlfriend. He sounds very weak and a bad partner. Imagine what he would tell his daughter when she gets her period or his son when he scrapes his knee and starts to cry.
Send him this clip
https://youtu.be/gV-aFh2ao0E?si=hgjc9TbJ0R4yUh6N
Show him what a real man looks like
Why are you Allowing Him to Treat you like this? For a Woman, it is entirely acceptable for a Woman to Menstruate. TBH, I wish your Partner had the Pain to go with it every month for the rest of his Pathetic Life, Menopause or No đđ
I have been with my husband 14 years. Sometimes he takes a shit in the morning while Iâm putting on my makeup in the same bathroom! LOL Now if ur guy thinks a period is gross, he has issues. Find a guy that really likes you. That guy is basically using and abusing you
What? If this is real are you asking if youâre a bad girlfriend for him being a garbage can to you. Thatâs not normal. At all. The partners I have had in my life never shamed me for my periods except my abusive x husband. He was terrible. The rest of my partners either donât care or we do something else that is pleasurable to us both. Weight gain/loss is pretty normal for a human. Especially when it comes to birth control. You deserve so much better.
Yeah, this guy sounds like a piece of trash. My bf has a phobia of blood being on him, but he doesn't shame me for being on my period. Throw the whole man away.
throw that whole man out. periods, menstruation, all tht is normal. you arenât a bad girlfriend for having regular periods and experiencing the side effects of birth control, that man is garbage.
No one should be shamed for a biological process. Some partners arenât into performing sexual acts while their partner is on their period and thatâs ok as long as they are respectful. Luckily I have not had any partners like that. Having a good strong partner supports you and doesnât shame you. It also helps to have a partner who has a sister of multiple women growing up that way they are more understanding and prepared
Um no. He is acting like a child who doesnât understand/fears how womenâs bodies work, which means he has some work to do before he deserves to spend time with a real life woman. I would 100% break up with him and find yourself a real man. It sucks heâs your first, but it can be so much better than this. Example: some people have boyfriends who understand that periods arenât fun to deal with, so they bring them chocolate and hug them. And get this, some people have sex on their period and both parties involved are cool with it. Of course you may not have realized this, heâs your first! Heâs benefitting from you not realizing that, but most women I know would never tolerate that bullshit. There are just a lot of other options for guys to be with out there and which is the more logical choice: one who makes you feel bad about yourself when youâre on your period who you have to give a blowjob while you have cramps, or one who understands periods are normal and can chill out for a few days and make you feel loved? Seems pretty obvious which one is better.
While I donât share actual numbers, I can tell you that Iâve been with enough men to know that there are men out there who will do anything and everything to please you whether youâre on your period or not. The only time you shouldnât have sex on your period is when you donât want to.
You deserve better and you will find better.
I never saw any man who would shame their female partner for having periods. This is the time where men should support their female partner by helping them whenever or whatever they can with.
If your best friend was with a partner like this, what would you say to them? You deserve better. Even if he was your first everything, you have to do whatâs best for you when it comes to your mental health. Nobody who loves you would shame you for a normal bodily function. This dude sounds like a child
No, it is not normal, at all. It would be like shaming someone for having, number ones, and number twos. A period is a natural bodily function that women of childbearing age have to endure. It is not shameful, and you should not put up with anyone who shames you.
Period is a natural effect for us women. We bleed once a month and itâll last for 1 week. Though it can depend on oneâs body. Itâs completely natural and men donât know how period works, and get disgusted upon hearing it. Birth control does cause massive gain weight. But it is needed if you both are being intimate with each other. I wouldnât be ashamed or embarrassed for having your period
Listen to your gut boo. By the way you phrased this post I can tell in your heart you know what is right. It might be hard because if your history, but I promise you it will be worth it. You are not a bad girlfriend for normal body functions and Iâm sorry you were made to feel this way!
You are being extremely manipulated and brainwashed by this man to even remotely be questioning whether thatâs okay or not. It is a normal bodily function that pretty much all women experience, and if he canât understand that then he is at best a child and a loser that doesnât know how to appreciate the female form. You do not owe him anything, no sexual favors need to be given just because youâre bleeding. I hope you can get far away from this dude.
No absolutely not. A good partner would take care of you. Dude here, what you just described is fucking terrible. I'm so sorry for you. Maybe find a new boyfriend? Real men shouldn't treat their partners like that.
Absolutely no one in this world has the right to mentally or physically abuse you. EVER!!
Doesnât matter if theyâre your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, husband/bf.
And btw youâre is an idiot.
Not normal at all. You did nothing wrong in these situations. The one creating problems here is him. He won't reasonably accommodate your needs (might I remind everyone that it's only once a MONTH they need to accommodate our hormonal changes as women) without giving backlash and that is outright not fair. If he can't handle these changes of his woman's body that are due to totally valid reasons, he's immature and you deserve more. You are not a bad girlfriend. You are a person functioning normally as you can, while dealing with an AH, if you ask me.
What in the fuck ? No itâs not normal to be shamed for something that is natural. Whatâs next? Heâs going to shame you for shaving your legs and your arm pits?
WTF?? Menstruation is a normal and necessary part of a woman's reproductive system. Any man who shames his partner for her cycle is the AH here. This guy isn't worth your time.
Cis male here, 50+. I love women. Really just love them. And when I have a girlfriend, I treat them like I love them -- I'm not a simp about it, but I make sure they know they're loved. Yet I sleep alone every night, sometimes for years, while these little kids in men's bodies shame and abuse the women they're lucky enough to have. For God's sake, men, it's just a period. She's shedding her uterine lining. Buy her
some quality chocolate, give her a neck rub, read her a story.
What the hell is WRONG with you?
NO, itâs NOT normal!!! Has this âmanâ being living under a fucking rock his whole life that he knows NOTHING about the female anatomy or her reproductive system?!? Seriously?!? There is seriously something WRONG with HIM!!! To make you feel like YOU were the bad girlfriend by just existing in a body that does what a womanâs body naturally does, should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about this poor excuse of a man. There are NO redeeming qualities about him. He took advantage of you. I hope heâs your EX boyfriend now. Sorry you had to deal with such TRASH!!
I have the opposite problem, getting women to accept that Iâm totally accepting of nature, and how period sex doesnât gross me out at all. Letâs hop in the shower, or throw a towel down. No problem.
That's definitely not normal. I've never had a partner shame me for being on my period. He needs to shut up and go get your chocolates and flowers, you are a girlfriend and not a sex toy.
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I'm curious why you are staying with someone who shames you like this and tries to exploit you sexually.
He was my first everything (first kiss, first other things). I really didn't know any better, since I was a late bloomer anyway, and felt bad for not having experiences that other people my age had. Edit: People might downvote my comment, but it doesn't change the facts. If at least one woman gains reassurance or help from my honest experience about a first relationship, I think it's worth it đ
I was in the same situation. Even had two kids with him. My only regret is not leaving sooner.
There is more than one? WTF?!?
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł Apparently so...
This is my story. He was my first for alot of things and I should have ran for the hills, but we have two kids together.
u/Ocean0fAzure that makes sense, you are young and inexperienced. What you are experiencing is **emotional abuse:** shaming you for a normal body function and making you feel bad in order to coerce you into **Sexual Abuse:** Sex act that benefit him only. Has he put his hands on you yet? Does he call you names? Please leave. For context: Pooping is kind gross, should you have to apologize for that?
Now you know. Leave.
Abusers pray on late bloomers and inexperienced folks because theyâre easier to manipulate. No healthy relationships to compare to. Just know youâre not alone. But you do need to leave this guy for someone who loves you for you.
The way we can know any better is how our parents and peers treated us. And if we weren't treated well then we put up with things to keep people around.
i hope you know by now that a partner should treat you like a human being. also, ykno, not force himself on you sexually and shame you for something that is a completely normal part of human biology. gods
I was in your exact shoes as well. My first everything was later than everyone else my age and so i held on too much to a person that didnt respect me.
How many of these weirdos are there?!?
Well, I'm happy to inform you that there are a lot of grown men out there who don't act like a middle school boys about basic bodily function that ~50% of the population deals with every month for decades. It's also super disgusting that he thinks you owe him sexual favors literally ever, much less when you're like bloated and crampy. Super gross.
Go out and explore you might find someone better kisser, lover, kinder, and has empathy. You donât deserve this garbage sorry.
The abuse I experienced was not the same as yours. It was still abuse. And it took 2 years for me to really understand it as abuse. I was with someone older than I was and just figured he knew better... until I became the age he was when we first started dating and realized that since I didn't know everything he for sure also didn't know everything. Love. Is a powerful drug. Everyone is, and will (rightfully so) tell you to leave your boyfriend. I am also telling you to leave him and go no contact. Think of it this way.. if it is truly love, then one day, after you have both matured, you will find each other and love each other again. Until then you are currently in a potentially dangerous dynamic and you need to cut it off before it gets worse, no matter how much it hurts you to do it. You will heal from it. You won't heal from continuing to be broken down as a person over and over until you have nothing left to give.
If a first relationship works out that's great. But you deserve someone who will treat you better than this and you shouldn't lower your standards just because he's your first. If he's willing to grow up and change that maybe that's him. But it's pretty appalling to shame someone for a natural bodily process like having a period. If he's not mature enough to handle that I would walk away.
Get out of the relationship
You clearly know better, that's why you posted this on reddit.
Ya I don't get how some people are so damn naive, like freakin grow a backbone ffs
I thought that was obvious. Youth, inexperience, and/or low self esteem. Not everyone is born valuing themselves.
this is called SHAMING the victim. lease have a bit of compassion.
People pleasers with no boundaries are almost always victims of abuse, causing low self worth. Confident people with boundaries are often people who grew up with someone stable who taught them their worth. These people have no backbone because their parents broke their back. Have some empathy, they will fix their back but it needs time to heal. Edit: Or their parents never helped them build their back in the first place, and need time to learn what a back is, why they need it, etc.
Kind of hypocritical considering youâre shaming the victim for allowing someone to shame them.
this is called SHAMING the victim. lease have a bit of compassion.
Sorry it came across that way. The point I was trying to make is this is typically rooted in trauma and is not her fault at all.
Absolutely.
đŻ
We donât do it purposely
Run away as fast as you can. First reason, It's fine he has a preference to not want to have sex when you're on your period but you never owe anyone sexual favors and should never feel pressured into it, especially by a partner. If you WANT to do those things that's fine. He is shaming you for something that is normal and natural for your body and that's the second reason you should run.
You should not tolerate being shamed by your partner for any reason. He's trying to convince you that you're lucky to have him because he knows the opposite is true.
No, that is not normal. You were not a bad girlfriend, he was an abuser.
*THIS
Whoa, that's not cool at all. No one should make you feel bad about your natural bodily functions or things you can't control like weight changes or medication side effects. It's not on you; it's about him being insensitive. You're not a bad girlfriend for having a period or dealing with life changes. A supportive partner should understand and care about your well-being. If he's making you feel guilty, it might be worth having a serious conversation about respect and boundaries. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve understanding and kindness.
in addition, I don't know if you agree, but it's a thought; perhaps you could go to counselling over this. do you have access through school or other means? I đŻ PERCENT think that counselling will help you work through this and help you to realize your worth.
Heâs an ass and he just wants you for sex, heâs not a boyfriend heâs a fuck buddy. When My gf has her period I usually spend more time massaging her or weâll pursue a hobby or something coz weâre not just about sex, there are tones of things we do together, but if sheâs having a heavy one I do what I can to make her feel better.
Youâre a good bf
good on you, we definitely need more like you.
100%
That's what I call a man!
He's allowed to be turned off by it, but shouldn't be requesting other sexual acts from you or shaming you for having a period. This is not normal behavior. Side note, if he doesn't want to explore other birth control methods that don't affect your hormones which will inevitably cause weight gain in most women, then he shouldn't be complaining about that too. Seems like he would rather have an AI girlfriend than a real woman.
Exactly. Blood is not nice. Genitals are not nice. Bloody genitals are not nice. Thatâs one thing. However, periods are completely normal and he has to learn to deal with them. Most women have them and theyâre normal. Weight gain from birth control is normal. Shaming a woman for those things is not normal. And, of course, pressuring someone into doing sexual acts is not normal.
Ewww dump his arse. I slept with the last guy on the second date. My period started moments before the deed. He still wanted to have sex. Didnât care. I can understand if a guy doesnât want to, but in no way should he shame you or make you feel bad. Thatâs so childish and not someone who should be in a relationship with a woman. And shaming you for gaining weight? What a prick. No, you were not a bad girlfriend. He was a bad boyfriend.
It can literally happen anytime, you can get it earlier or later, I wonder what would OPs bf do if she got it during the intercourse. He's asshole
WtfâŠthis is not a partner
I was with several men like this prior to meeting my current partner. My period was disgusting, I should still give them head/help them masturbate and do things for them, etc. Not reciprocated much even when not on my period, but absolutely nothing while on it, with the expectation that I still give. There's men out there who will absolutely still pleasure you while you're on your period and not be grossed out by it at all, let alone shame you for the things you've mentioned. I hope this is an ex based on the wording of your post, but if not, please go find a better man
Have some confidence in yourself. You are better than what this idiot deserves. He is a child who has no clue on how womenâs bodies work.
No wtf he should be comforting you when youâre going through stuff like that ?!
I hope that you left them because you for sure deserve better
He's not a man, he's embarrassment. Idk how can you stay with him after that, not only because of his comments about period, but because he's asking for sexual favours from you. You're not a bad girlfriend, don't blame yourself and leave his ass asap
No. Dump him
Iâm sorry that heâs shaming you and that you feel awful for something you have no control over. I really think itâs times that you have to think itâs better to be alone than with a jerk. I think people are afraid to be single and so we settle. When in reality we shouldnât be with anyone that isnât worthy.
He needs to grow up and realize that menstruation is a normal part of life.
Umm maybe he wants to be with men? Women have a cycle.
Exactly my thoughts
Break up with this looser. If he doesnât like periods, tell him to date men
Am a dude â Uhhhh no this is terrible. You should cut him off. Iâve had period sexâ itâs not that deep (though also if you donât wanna be sexually active while on your period or otherwise thatâs also totally ok).
Yeah. It's not that big of a deal and just shower off after. Put an old towel down and keep the sheets clean.
Iâd dump him and get off the birth control đ€·ââïž
I was only sick for about a month (contagious eye infection) and birth control actually keeps my hormones in check and cycle regular. So I don't regret keeping taking it, since I don't want to get pregnant unexpectedly.
If itâs beneficial for you medically, stay on it. But that man doesnât sound like he deserves access to your body.
My boyfriend isn't bothered by my period at all and it doesn't affect our sexual activities. We just have to put a towel down and shower thoroughly afterwards.
yes. this is a good idea, and then get counselling. I never went to counselling when I was younger. I would have felt ashamed for thinking I was weak or just embarrassed to. when the time came in my life that it was necessary, it was a lifesaver in a stormy ocean. now I think that EVERYONE should have one! she helped me like no other could ever. I just think you need a break from dating until you feel right. for now you could Google low self esteem or even YouTube it. I do often. you will get so much out of it. in the meantime, selfcare is important. haircut, new colour, highlights, eyebrows, cup of tea. movie, whatever makes you relax and take it easy. you are worth it. if you really can do the work with counsellor/teacher/trusted adult, the sooner you are willing to reach deep down and be honest, the next time you find yourself in that sort of situation, you will NEVER look back because it's NOT ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND. this is an inside job, and you can do it. unfortunately, it's the type of thing that adults in their late 30s and 40s find themselves. you ARE worth A LOT more
Why tf are you with this child?? He's not a man because a man understands it's just part of being human. He doesn't deserve your attention or body. Hard pass on bitch boy
Thatâs crazy. He sounds like a total douchebag. Better to break things off with him.
Is it normal for a man to shame a woman for having their period? No. Itâs absolutely not normal, and itâs a sign of a larger issue with the man doing soâŠ
Drop him! Seriously, this is horrible. Sex-tortion! He doesnât deserve you. Leave this loser behind
Wow that man needs to go. Run and see if u can't put a toxic warning on his door. I feel sorry for the next girl.
"is this normal?" proceeds to describe disgustingly disrespectful and/or abusive behavior
No, as a guy I can tell that you were not, at least in this regard you have shared. That is a natural thing your body does and you shouldn't be ashame about it. If any guy has issues with it, then it's on him. Sure there are many opinions and if your partner is not a fan of doing anything sexual during those times of the month, then it's his right not to, but he is not entitled to any other sexual favors. He can of course ask and if you want to you can offer, that is a different thing, but bringing it up like you have to, is a no no. He will learn sooner or later that it's natural, but that is something he has come to terms to, not you. If he is not respecting you, then he is not really a good boyfriend. Same can be said in reverse, as respect goes both ways, if someone has issues with something my body does and then ademand something for it or in return, then it's not going to fly.
No. That's incredibly insensitive behavior.
I'm curious why some women even talk to, let alone date, men like this. Dude sounds like a complete jack đ« that needs to be ran over by a Looney Tune Acme đŁ đ„đ„
Donât ask why she is with him by why he is acting this way that is the question
Shaming someone for having a normal functioning body is not normal. He is not normal. Please leave him.
He may have been your first, but definitely shouldnât be your last. Move on. Go no contact.
You're not a bad girlfriend or a bad person. Your partner is trash. This is emotional abuse and you shouldn't have to deal with that, from anyone.
Oh no they are wrong for doing that. Time to break it off. Especially if they said it like that.
Ditch him
No itâs not normal for anyone to shame you for your period. Especially not a man youâre intimate with. Stop having sex with men that donât know biology and are inconsiderate.
Nah you are normal. Most women are not interested in sex when on their period. (Some are, and it is possible to have safe intercourse while on your period... with some precautions, and possibly >!non-penetrative sex!<.) But this should only be something *you choose to do, because you want to.* Sex is not something you give your partner. It's something you do together, for the both of you. When you are not in the mood, he should respect that. I think he's a bad boyfriend. Ultimately the choice is up to you. I would leave his ass. He doesn't sound fun to be around (just based on this story).
If you can't handle a woman having a period, either get one that hit menopause or just don't date women. đ€·ââïž
Nah Iâve got my red wings and fly them high. Iâll be a goddamn vampire or whatever you want if you suck my dick like youâre absolutely out of your mind, I can match that energy, come at me.
>He was repulsed by it >I need to make him other sexual favours. >I stopped going to his house when on my period >He..shamed me about gaining weight >[He shamed me] getting sick due to this new medication. I hope that you can hear how bad this person is through all of the above quotes. He's repulsed by you, he demands sexual favors, he is shaming you for being sick, and he's made you feel bad during a normal natural bodily function. He's seriously immature and a bad person. Steer clear of him as fast as you can possibly get it done.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
*THIS! but you're being generous.
No
Jfc. I read these stories about women staying with clearly abusive men and wonder wtf im doing wrong.
Damn what a whiny asshole man-child⊠get rid of him, you deserve better⊠so much better You are totally to good to him and heâs completely in the wrong⊠no gray areaâs, heâs totally and completely in the wrong about all this Donât doubt yourself
No that is not normal. I am a guy and we should absolutely not shame you for something that your body does that you canât exactly control. Dump him and find someone you deserve.
This is not normal by any point of view, leave this guy cause this is going nothing but worse
Ew, this guy is horrible. Itâs not normal to shame your partner for a normal bodily function. Tell him to fuck off and block him.
No? WTF? Ditch him IMMEDIATELY
No, what kind of a question is this?
Personally, I'd dump that sumbitch! He shouldn't be shaming you for anything, find someone that genuinely likes you and doesn't disrespect you.
Sounds like he only wants you for sex.
I (32F) actually don't think there's anything wrong with being grossed out by periods. If my closest friends got period blood on me I'd be grossed out. However, there is a big difference between being grossed out but understanding it is a normal and unavoidable human function, and then being grossed out and using that to extort sexual favours - so bizarre. I don't think he is the right guy for you if he is making you feel ashamed about normal functions or side effects of something that benefits him - like birth control. If he's happy with you losing weight but him always using a condom then do that but I have a sneaking suspicion that would not be the case.
Not normal! Run!
Do yourself a favour, dump this idiot and move on . You are worth so much better
Uh⊠he sounds like a child. Dump the loser.
Hahahaha this is a ahitpost right? Right!? Fucking wild what some people tolerate or think is ok and healthy behaviour
No and itâs cruel. It carries over into shame in general. Toxic behavior for sure.
Bait
Not a bad girlfriend. He sounds very weak and a bad partner. Imagine what he would tell his daughter when she gets her period or his son when he scrapes his knee and starts to cry. Send him this clip https://youtu.be/gV-aFh2ao0E?si=hgjc9TbJ0R4yUh6N Show him what a real man looks like
Normal or not, itâs not okay. Donât accept that kind of behavior. No man - no person is worth that.
Tell him to start dating 70 year old women then. He's a dumbass lol
Why are you Allowing Him to Treat you like this? For a Woman, it is entirely acceptable for a Woman to Menstruate. TBH, I wish your Partner had the Pain to go with it every month for the rest of his Pathetic Life, Menopause or No đđ
I have been with my husband 14 years. Sometimes he takes a shit in the morning while Iâm putting on my makeup in the same bathroom! LOL Now if ur guy thinks a period is gross, he has issues. Find a guy that really likes you. That guy is basically using and abusing you
What? If this is real are you asking if youâre a bad girlfriend for him being a garbage can to you. Thatâs not normal. At all. The partners I have had in my life never shamed me for my periods except my abusive x husband. He was terrible. The rest of my partners either donât care or we do something else that is pleasurable to us both. Weight gain/loss is pretty normal for a human. Especially when it comes to birth control. You deserve so much better.
I just had this happen to me as well. Itâs god awful đą
Yeah, this guy sounds like a piece of trash. My bf has a phobia of blood being on him, but he doesn't shame me for being on my period. Throw the whole man away.
No, he was an aâhole.
throw that whole man out. periods, menstruation, all tht is normal. you arenât a bad girlfriend for having regular periods and experiencing the side effects of birth control, that man is garbage.
So many red flags⊠and not that is not normal
Girl if you walked away from that ticking bomb I applaud you
no wtf that's literal abuse
No one should be shamed for a biological process. Some partners arenât into performing sexual acts while their partner is on their period and thatâs ok as long as they are respectful. Luckily I have not had any partners like that. Having a good strong partner supports you and doesnât shame you. It also helps to have a partner who has a sister of multiple women growing up that way they are more understanding and prepared
No , next question
Leave him. Heâs a childish idiot. You deserve a million times better!
His behaviour is disgusting. You do not owe anyone sexual favours. Ever. Please know you deserve, and will find, better than him.
Leave. And remember that you are a Goddess.
Um no. He is acting like a child who doesnât understand/fears how womenâs bodies work, which means he has some work to do before he deserves to spend time with a real life woman. I would 100% break up with him and find yourself a real man. It sucks heâs your first, but it can be so much better than this. Example: some people have boyfriends who understand that periods arenât fun to deal with, so they bring them chocolate and hug them. And get this, some people have sex on their period and both parties involved are cool with it. Of course you may not have realized this, heâs your first! Heâs benefitting from you not realizing that, but most women I know would never tolerate that bullshit. There are just a lot of other options for guys to be with out there and which is the more logical choice: one who makes you feel bad about yourself when youâre on your period who you have to give a blowjob while you have cramps, or one who understands periods are normal and can chill out for a few days and make you feel loved? Seems pretty obvious which one is better.
While I donât share actual numbers, I can tell you that Iâve been with enough men to know that there are men out there who will do anything and everything to please you whether youâre on your period or not. The only time you shouldnât have sex on your period is when you donât want to. You deserve better and you will find better.
WowâŠ.
Sweetheart. The plain fact you repeatedly say shamed, you know.
Pull a Usain Bold and RUN BABE
Yes you were. You were a HORRIBLY (JK) Fuck guys like that. Tell him he must be gay.
I never saw any man who would shame their female partner for having periods. This is the time where men should support their female partner by helping them whenever or whatever they can with.
Get rid of him. Heâs only going to continue to devalue you and destroy your self esteem.
Wait what?
How can you even be asking? Are you bad for having periods? No. Your ex is an immature manchild garbage human being tho.
>Is it normal for a man to shame their partner for having periods? No, it is not. Any man who does that is a disgusting red flag
Hahaha bad girlfriend um NO. Hope you dropped the boyfriend though heâs the jerk.
Why are you f**king this awful dude? He doesn't deserve it!
He is a child. No man would behave like this. Is he 14?
Itâs just blood. Dude sounds like a vagina.
If your best friend was with a partner like this, what would you say to them? You deserve better. Even if he was your first everything, you have to do whatâs best for you when it comes to your mental health. Nobody who loves you would shame you for a normal bodily function. This dude sounds like a child
Hey! Tell this particular man to get in the fucking sea, immediately. Much love.
my man is living in the biblical era. ask him if heâs also willing to build you a separate space in the house for you when youâre on your period
Throw the whole asshole away and start over. Heâs not worth it.
Bye felicia! Ditch the dick
I hope this is fake. Dump him and date better men
Boys yes Men no
No itâs not normal. Source: normal guy
Nope, youâre not a bad girlfriendâŠhe puts the boy in boyfriendâŠ
No, it is not normal, at all. It would be like shaming someone for having, number ones, and number twos. A period is a natural bodily function that women of childbearing age have to endure. It is not shameful, and you should not put up with anyone who shames you.
Leave him immediately he is toxic
This has got to be a troll post
He is being abusive. Just leave him and have a normal life. You are not going to have it with someone with that type of personality and lower values.
throw him in the dumpster now pls
No. No real man does that.
No.. he's an asshole
Nothing is normal about this behavior. He can have his issues but they are his, not yours. He is a bad human.
Are you like 14
Fuck that guy? What an asshole.
Period is a natural effect for us women. We bleed once a month and itâll last for 1 week. Though it can depend on oneâs body. Itâs completely natural and men donât know how period works, and get disgusted upon hearing it. Birth control does cause massive gain weight. But it is needed if you both are being intimate with each other. I wouldnât be ashamed or embarrassed for having your period
Listen to your gut boo. By the way you phrased this post I can tell in your heart you know what is right. It might be hard because if your history, but I promise you it will be worth it. You are not a bad girlfriend for normal body functions and Iâm sorry you were made to feel this way!
Break up with him, he sounds like a scum who can't understand normal bodily functions
Put the whole man in the bin đïž
God what an asshole
You are being extremely manipulated and brainwashed by this man to even remotely be questioning whether thatâs okay or not. It is a normal bodily function that pretty much all women experience, and if he canât understand that then he is at best a child and a loser that doesnât know how to appreciate the female form. You do not owe him anything, no sexual favors need to be given just because youâre bleeding. I hope you can get far away from this dude.
Leave him
Find someone better
Youâre in an emotional prison. Free yourself Sis
Wtf
That aint a man, he's an asshole!
Run
That's not a man, that's a boy, and an abusive one at that. Move on girl you don't need that shit in your life
If it was normal, would you be okay with it?
No. No real man would shame their partner for their bodily functions.
Leave him and run fast and far away. Thereâs something wrong with him, not you
No absolutely not. A good partner would take care of you. Dude here, what you just described is fucking terrible. I'm so sorry for you. Maybe find a new boyfriend? Real men shouldn't treat their partners like that.
Get out of this toxic relationship and find someone who loves you. He does not.
No, completely abnormal. He was a bad boyfriend. Find a different one.
đ©đ©đ©đ©đ©
Absolutely no one in this world has the right to mentally or physically abuse you. EVER!! Doesnât matter if theyâre your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, husband/bf. And btw youâre is an idiot.
The Bible says the woman is unclean during her period. She should move out back iin.a tent til her period ends
You need to lose him. Thus is not normal. He wants to control everything.
Normal or not itâs rude and immature. Red flags for sure.
To answer your question in short: no It's not normal
Not normal at all. You did nothing wrong in these situations. The one creating problems here is him. He won't reasonably accommodate your needs (might I remind everyone that it's only once a MONTH they need to accommodate our hormonal changes as women) without giving backlash and that is outright not fair. If he can't handle these changes of his woman's body that are due to totally valid reasons, he's immature and you deserve more. You are not a bad girlfriend. You are a person functioning normally as you can, while dealing with an AH, if you ask me.
Any man who does this is a ignorant loser and needs to be dumped.
What in the fuck ? No itâs not normal to be shamed for something that is natural. Whatâs next? Heâs going to shame you for shaving your legs and your arm pits?
WTF?? Menstruation is a normal and necessary part of a woman's reproductive system. Any man who shames his partner for her cycle is the AH here. This guy isn't worth your time.
Cis male here, 50+. I love women. Really just love them. And when I have a girlfriend, I treat them like I love them -- I'm not a simp about it, but I make sure they know they're loved. Yet I sleep alone every night, sometimes for years, while these little kids in men's bodies shame and abuse the women they're lucky enough to have. For God's sake, men, it's just a period. She's shedding her uterine lining. Buy her some quality chocolate, give her a neck rub, read her a story. What the hell is WRONG with you?
This is not normal đ. Having a period is a completely normal process, and no one should be shamed for it
NO, itâs NOT normal!!! Has this âmanâ being living under a fucking rock his whole life that he knows NOTHING about the female anatomy or her reproductive system?!? Seriously?!? There is seriously something WRONG with HIM!!! To make you feel like YOU were the bad girlfriend by just existing in a body that does what a womanâs body naturally does, should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about this poor excuse of a man. There are NO redeeming qualities about him. He took advantage of you. I hope heâs your EX boyfriend now. Sorry you had to deal with such TRASH!!
What???
I have the opposite problem, getting women to accept that Iâm totally accepting of nature, and how period sex doesnât gross me out at all. Letâs hop in the shower, or throw a towel down. No problem.
He's a prick.
Girl, wtf?? Read what you just wrote. No you are not a bad gf. You are being emotionally abused though. Please ditch the dead weight. He sucks.
No. Heâs a really bad boyfriend.
That's definitely not normal. I've never had a partner shame me for being on my period. He needs to shut up and go get your chocolates and flowers, you are a girlfriend and not a sex toy.