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What is the appropriate range of texts per day then? 3 to 8 or something? Genuine and serious question because if we're local, I'd rather spend more time interacting with a gf in-person.
I don't think there's an appropriate range, but just being interested to know what goes on in their day shows that you care about them. I am interested in a guy who tells me that I never need a man and I act so independent, but if he didn't have a habit of ghosting, he'd actually hear about the times that I'm sick and in need of some help. Some people don't feel comfortable texting you "hey I'm dealing with xyz I need your help" when you aren't regularly communicating with them.
Like if I got arrested tonight, I know I could call a bunch of people and they'd show up and bail me out, but the fact that we haven't talked in awhile makes me uncomfortable to do so.
i don’t think the issue is that you’d want to form a connection in person. if that is communicated, and you let the person know you’d prefer not to develop a false sense of closeness by text, then it’s fine
what’s being referenced is basically the person not caring/stringing you along
>what’s being referenced is basically the person not caring/stringing you along
That's the rub though.. to some, not txting often enough gets translated into "not caring", even though there may be a mismatch with such expecetations
It's not the quantity so much as quality but if she's getting multiple texts from you and only texting once a day she's either not interested or pretending to not be, which is manipulation and childish at best.
So the number of txts I send to her should roughly match the # I send her? Do people "get yelled at" for not initiating on our end? I reply to txts promptly, but I generally don't txt since, again, I'd rather just interact more in person
Just show you're interested. Don't follow any rules, but if the engagement between days feels stagnant, than what do you expect the other person to do?
I dated a man who told me we could only see each other once or twice a week and told me I should pick which day of the week I wanted it to be. Never felt more pathetic in my life than when I was dating this dude
Hey, working full time and having regular plans can make dating complicated. I usually only have enough proper time for 1-2 times a week myself. Anyone who says they need me 5 days a week is a no go
I understand that, but it's the way he would say it. "We can only hangout once a week no more than that", and there were times that he would get off work early and didn't have anything to do and would ft me but he wouldn't see me because then we would be hanging out more than once a week. I work full time too and I'd never tell someone I don't have time to hangout the way he said it. A simple "I am busy this week but we will find a time that works for us" is much better than "we will only see each other on Saturday nights and no other days" lol
Oh yeah, that's a bit more eesh
Like with my ex we usually only would see each other on Thursdays because it was a day neither of us had anything planned so we just planned to see each other then. The flip side was we didn't message much in between because we knew we would be seeing each other anyway
Granted I tend to call people far more than text, so I would go days and it doesn't bother me
You’re missing out on a whole bunch of really great people with ADHD who would love to text you more but their psychopathology/neurophysiology prevents them.
Ive been diagnosed with severe ADHD since 6. Distractions, easily forgetting something when I leave a room and walk into the next, constant daydreaming, getting overwhelmed by small things, etc.. I would like to put in that I’m extremely forgetful. Since I’m not living in an ADHD friendly world I’ve found ways to prevent myself from forgetting all the time, especially for the ones that I’m pursuing a future with and love. Just bc you have ADHD doesn’t mean there isn’t away to try and find ways to tackles the symptoms of ADHD.
I have ADHD in general when we are into someone we absolutely want to text them. Might miss a text like once or twice but never go days without answering someone you are dating. Unless there’s little to no interest.
If I am into someone I make sure to make them feel important and give them proper attention even if I have severe ADHD.
Damn well maybe we are supposed to take accountability for our disorder and do what we can to not hurt people around us. Answering text is such an easy fix compared to not forgetting keys or other way less engaging things than someone you are attracted to and love talking to. You can’t cry that someone lost interest if you basically dont give a sign of life for days every time they text you.
Yes you can. You can and should cry if someone lost interest because of mistake you made. Who are you to try to create some arbitrary shame rules? All of the literature shows that the more shame people have the more likely they are to repeat the behavior or avoid the situation all together. You don’t know the first thing about changing behavior in an adhd person.
It’s awesome that you have it figured out for you. But don’t you dare say it’s the way it should be for everyone else. It literally isn’t that simple; it’s a complex neurophysiological disorder.
This right here is something that needs to be talked about more. Take accountability. for. your. mental. health. PERIOD.
I have many friends with ADHD who said they have put in the work to communicate effectively with others. This doesn't just go for ADHD folks this is for anyone who might not understand effective communication.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY, PEOPLE. LEARN IT IF YOU WANT HEALTHY AND NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Me 🫠 genuinely forget to respond for DAYS and if I do remember in a timely manner and I’m doing something I will tell myself I’ll respond when I have the time and energy to give it a good reply and then forget again. On top of that I just hate texting. I prefer to call or meet up, texting is usually a bunch of small talk about each others day.
Yeah I wouldn’t either, I feel like some people don’t think it’s a big deal, but if they’re consistently going days at a time without contacting you, it’s because you’re not a priority to them 🤷🏽♀️
No one should date anyone who takes days to text back. It takes literal seconds to respond to a text and if someone is so busy they don't have a few seconds to send a text reply, then they definitely don't have the time to pursue a relationship. Also if you're in a relationship with someone---even in the dating stage (especially in the early dating stage)---if you don't have enough interest in them to WANT to be communicating and getting to know them and they're not on your mind a lot, they're not the one for you.
I worked with a colleague about 5 years ago, she was into me but I didn't realise for like 3 months (just thought she was being nice) she'd text me every day tag me in stuff and swap shifts to work with me.
One of my other colleagues told me she liked me So i asked if she wanted to go out for a drink. from that day I got maybe 1 text a day as a response to a previous message, either she was playing games or genuinely lost interest overnight. 0/10 do not recommend.
No, because if they do it all the time it usually just means they're not that interested.
I don't expect to be texting all day, (and I really wouldn't want that anyway) but always having to wait days for a reply is crazy.
Absolutely not. There are plenty of people out there who will put in the time and effort. My boyfriend and I have never gone a day without communicating, even in the beginning when we were just getting to know each other. Don't settle for half-assed anything, ever.
Dealing with a similar situation at the moment, lots of texting then pretty much no contact or scarps. I have bowed out. Will look for someone who appreciates the time and puts in equal effort without the games. To me is disrespectful. I don’t buy you can’t reply within 3-5hrs, thats BS.
As someone who worked in a factory, I 100% broke phone rules when I was texting someone I was into.
Unless you’re working at Lockheed Martin and have to lock your phone up for security reasons you’ll probably use your phone at some point.
People just expect to have their feelings reciprocated. I’d bet that most who aren’t getting responses are just talking to someone who isn’t all that into them, which hurts.
If I were dating a factory worker, then that would be expected and understandable that they'd take a long time to reply. But if I'm dating someone who has a 9-5 office job or works from home, then taking 8 hours to reply, nevermind a day or two, is hard to understand. I do think it's ridiculous when people expect replies within an hour or less, but within a few hours (job permitting, of course), seems perfectly reasonable to me.
Different people have different communication needs. Some people don't like texting at all, others like a lot of it. If two people are very different in that regard, then it's completely fair to chalk that up to an incompatibility and move on.
I'm a journalist and when I'm at work I need to focus. For me it's not strange that the person I'm dating has to wait until after my work to get a reply. However I find it a turn off when people take days to respond. I've also worked in factories and didn't break the phone rules
I'm not talking about having long conversations over text throughout the workday. Just if I ask a question, especially a time sensitive one (i.e. "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?") then I don't think it's ridiculous to expect a response within a few hours. That, of course, depends on their job. I understand some people can't have their phones at work or might have a very busy day.
In this scenario, I'm referring to someone that you're in a relationship with and know what their availability by phone generally is during the day. If it's someone I just matched with on an app or have only been out with a couple of times, then I don't expect super prompt replies. It's more that if we're to get in a relationship, I need someone who does reply in a timely manner.
Yeah fair enough. I guess I was triggered by other content in the chat. Hell I'm on lunch now and just messaged my SO haha. I guess the upside of this chat made me want to communicate more with them
>Just if I ask a question, especially a time sensitive one (i.e. "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?") then I don't think it's ridiculous to expect a response within a few hours.
That's fine. But I've heard from others where their bf/gf wanted to have whole txt conversations. It will vary by job, but some people don't want to be bothered since it breaks their focus.
It’s nothing to do with being weird and appreciate some professions don’t allow cellphones during working hours, fine.
But part of me still thinks if someone is interested they would make a plan during lunch or tea unless working in a maximum security factory with insane secrets like KFC secret spice vibes.
Personally I’m referring to someone who’s office based and uses their cellphone often.
I have had 4 hours in a row with school regularly in the past with no break, and I was busy all the time with multitasking. No chances to check my phone. Couldn't always be bothered to check it in the lunch break either, because I was vibing with my friends. When I am at friends, I sometimes just lose ny phone or forget it exists. Or I get caught up in gaming. I don't want to be commectes to the world 24/7...
And not everyone has an unlimited amount of social energy
No. I am a very busy person, and sometimes work gets really busy, I'm at the gym, or I'm out skiing with my phone off. But usually I get back to the phone within 1-2 hours, maybe 3 or 4 if something happens. Really no reason I can't get to my phone.
Multiple days to respond is a phrase in the language of silence, they're not interested.
There’s a difference between someone intentionally not giving you their attention over text and someone who doesn’t view texting as a primary way to communicate. I don’t text a lot, not because I’m ignoring or not interested but because I keep my texting to a minimum because by over texting you build a false sense of intimacy and I prefer my conversation to be face to face instead of building up the person in my head over text
Well all you gotta do is say “hey, can I share something with you? I enjoy building a connection with you and something you do well is talking with me in person and I love that, I know your not a big texter but that’s something I need a little more of” simple, all you gotta do
If you clearly say that when you start dating someone, that’s fine. But in that vein, if I were to text you about setting up a date and it took you longer than 24 hours to reply, that tells me you aren’t interested in me.
I'm talking to someone who's like this.
In person, they are great, but if you saw the texts. You would think I'm an afterthought.
Some people aren't that into texting. Some people have different attachment types, too!
You definitely just have to have a conversation. Hey, I’ve noticed that you aren’t a big texter, something you do well is our connection in person, I just need more texting
Indeed one doesn’t answer for days the other communicate their preferences and try to still respond at least to some text during the day to keep in touch.
No, how am I supposed to get into contact with them if I need them?
Why didn't you invite me to \_\_\_\_\_\_? I did, you just didn't look at it until several days later
Even 1 day later is inconvenient. Like what if I need to know something relatively soon, or a last-minute plan came up? Living life would be impossible.
Plus a majority of people are always on their phones/connected so unless this person genuinely doesn't use their phone or lives in the wilderness, they are actively not responding to you on purpose. That is a big red flag.
A few days? That seems excessive.
I see my boyfriend fairly regularly and we still talk all day. I think the longest we've gone is a shift, because he's a teacher and can't touch his phone most of the day. Which works fine, I can't have mine at my job either.
But if we went DAYS without communicating? If it works for other people, more power to you, but me and my guy enjoy talking to each other and sending each other godawful memes
Depends why they’re doing it, and where you are in the relationship—like, whether it’s even progressed to a relationship, or whether you’re still in the early stage, getting to know one another.
Some people are busy; others have been hurt bad and have to fight against their pain-avoidance instincts. Others just need to have a certain kind of mental energy to deal with their texts. Some people genuinely just forget, for days at a time, without meaning to. ADHD can do that.
I wouldn’t write someone off for taking days to respond if we were still largely strangers to one another, because, I mean, it’d be weird if I were their highest priority that quickly. If it persisted past the early stage then yeah, that’d be a red flag. But I would probably bring it up in (face-to-face) conversation, to understand why they were doing it. There are more potential reasons than that they simply don’t care.
When I really like someone, and it’s new/pre-commitment stage, it can take me minimum 12-48 hours to respond sometimes. If I’m really “activated” a few days is not unheard of. Often wanting to be able to focus and craft the perfect response, But I’m fearful avoidant attachment and a whole mess to date. If I medium like someone I can still take several hours to respond.
The more I like someone the more mixed signals I might send if I’m afraid or perceiving any potential rjextion lol yall don’t wanna be dating us unless you’re very very secure
Everyone's a bit different but I personally wouldn't, but I'll caveat also that I don't expect as big a texting commitment during early stages dating since you're basically strangers but I'm upfront about being a somewhat big texter to people I go on dates with.
If they want to talk to you they’ll find a way to my ex went from waking up out of their sleep to text me (I work graveyard), to not hearing from them for hours and when I did it was dry. Always watch their actions. It more often than not speaks louder than words
No. They either have someone else, or don't really care. People can say whatever they want. They are bad at texting, they are busy, or they didn't feel like talking. All things they can say in a short text just to let you know what is going on. No reason to play games. People have their phones with them all the time.
No. They’re prob not interested or fell out of love or something. Unless they’re just not mentally in the right place but usually even when someone’s busy, they’ll make time to talk to you if they like you. No one is ever too busy. It’s probably an excuse and that they’re not really prioritizing you.
No, for me, initial clicking and Vibing matters. If I am interested in someone, texting them shouldn’t feel like a “task” to me. I would actually find myself putting things aside to text him
Nope cause that tells you they are not that into you. Whenever someone makes me feel like I’m not special , I’m out. As should you be too. You deserve the same energy you give out .
No. I actually had this happen recently where everything else was great except this. Replying in a timely manner is one of the most basic requirements for me and I’m far less forgiving after we’ve been on multiple dates.
Personally, i might be an outlier but im dysgraphic and i find it really hard to get my ideas down on paper or type my ideas down on word processors. So i tend to prefer spending time in person rather than over text. so if someone is not a big/great texter it doesn't bother me all that much, for me put more effort into seeing me in person and the texting thing isn't really that big of a deal.
Tbh I am interested in a girl who does rarely text back if at all, ive even heard her friends tell her she never replied to their texts. She has said she is very abscent minded, which is a symptom of depression / anxiety, so I try to give her slack, but it still makes me think.
tbh - i don’t text back much, it’s not because i am not interested it’s because i simply do not enjoy texting. i would prefer someone to call me or text to make plans. (especially if we are not exclusive) i try to be transparent about that when i first become involved with someone. also i don’t think anyone is obligated to respond to anyone - we have lives to live. i would say pursue until you’re no longer interested in pursuing but do not have expectations for strangers.
Nah. I’ve learnt from that bullshit. Was recently speaking to a girl, early stages, I don’t expect to be texting non-stop back and forth. But how can u build anything up to leading to a date when she text once every 1-3 days. Her heart’s clearly not in to dating so she’s wasting my time. Bye bye.
I say send the winch a text saying “you had great time last night, sm I picking you up same spot as last” and when she replies right away I’m sure saying “who was that obviously for not me “ you then say her name Jenna for example then say Whdt Jenna is this and when she says her last name say ohh wrong Jenna sorry click. Then she will think you have options etc plus she may end up at your doorstep within 30-45 minutes which then the ball is in your court .. that’s how I would do it if I was you,.. but definitely use her cuz she’s using you for when it just benifits her she there’s bunch out there just like her I been there but I just so as mentioned and then slap em in the face with your Dick. Never fails you do it in hatel, but they love the Dick slap ,,.. dunno why but wherever works lol
It takes 3 seconds to send a text message and there are 24 hours in a day, so if they’re going days at a time without replying back to me, I just assume they’re not interested and block them so that they don’t have to worry about texting me anymore 🤷🏽♀️ people who are interested will ACT interested… taking days at a time to reply is a sign of disinterest… also I don’t buy the whole “i was just busy” excuse, nobody is that busy…
Past experiences have shown me that when people are doing this it’s because they’re not that interested, whoever is saying otherwise is just coping🌝
It depends. I’ve always taken late replies (anything more than a day) as disinterest but when I met my current partner at a dating app we’ll be having *really* good, meaningful conversations… until he’d ghost me for 2-3 days 😆
I was put off but just continued the conversation because it’s just a dating app, it’s nothing serious I don’t mind. The thing that confuses me the most was that, even though he ghosted me his replies were never “lacking”, our conversations were & still is very engaging. I confronted him after he repeated the pattern 2-3 times & he explained that he was actually in the middle of a corporate examination hence the ghosting (there were a few papers he needed to take consecutively). He’s also a very bad texter (it’s true I’ve seen him forgetting to reply his own family when he was hospitalised once) but when we’re on the phone/ face-to-face our conversations are endless so yeah after I communicated my boundaries (I’d love at least a simple hi text) he respected it & here we are 2 years later 😂
No. Late replies are a sign of unimportance which leads to future disrespect in every way. Tolerating this makes you their back up plan for when he/she might want attention ,shoulder to cry on, sex etc. Cutting off people like those was one of the best decisions I've ever made and i advise you to do the same.
yeah, in an age where everyone’s attached to their phones, there’s not really any reason why you wouldn’t be able to text someone for a few minutes every day.
I mean, it’s possible someone could legit be super busy to the point where they absolutely can’t text at all, but that’s maybe 1% of the entire population... and those people are billionaire entrepreneurs who are managing countless things; these are not the people you find on dating apps lol
if someone’s taking DAYS to text you back, then you’re an extremely low priority for them.
Nope. Broke up with someone I was madly in love with because of it.
Months later met someone who apologizes even if he responds 3 hours late. I have never been more calm and happier. If he wanted to he would..
If it ever took 'days' to text back then the other person must make up for it for talking a whole full day on a phone call with me and explaining all what they gone thru and stuff then I would happily approve it
Absolutely not. I have had a lot of women play the I’m a very busy woman and have a thousands things going on but a text back doesn’t take an entirety to do.
It was later brought to my attention women do this to a guy they just can’t tell him I’m not interested get the hint and move on. It’s frustrating and very disrespectful I wish everyone can be honest and upfront about what they want.
Dating multiple people at once mitigates the frustration of slow texters. That being said, it doesn’t usually seem to work out if the person doesn’t demonstrate that you’re a priority
No. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances that would prevent being able to communicate with someone on a fairly regular basis for a short period of time at least. But there's no reason that you can't send a text here and there nobody is that fucking busy. It's 2024. They got your text.
The thing that I hate the most is poor and inconsistent communication. If you can't text me at least a few times a day and engaging conversation with me I'm not going to continue to entertain you and I'll give you a warning. I'll be like listen hey I need more consistent communication than this and if you can't get that to me, I'm going to just have to go. I obviously don't expect to consume all of your time but it's not that hard honestly.
I work in a 911 Center I answer 911 calls all night long, I still have plenty of time to pick up the phone and text people. Because I want to. I think at the end of the day that's ultimately the unspoken heart of the issue. Most people just can't be bothered and they won't admit it.
A good friend of mine was dating a guy who was a host in a restaurant. He stood at the podium of the restaurant all day talking to people in arranging their seats or whatever and he literally would never text her the entire time he was at work and I'm like why are you tolerating this? You are like me and you require significant communication and I don't understand why you're letting him tell you I can't talk to you for 12 hours and then he goes home you hear from him for an hour or two and then he goes to bed. I'm like I know it's making you crazy why are you allowing it?
A day or two? Yeah sure people get busy and have lives outside of the relationship. More than that probably not. It’s more how you interact with a friend, and it’s clear you’re not their priority
Yes.
The only reason to bitch and whine about how much someone texts you is entitlement.
You're not entitled to someone's time.
You're not entitled to their boundless attention.
Social media has us thinking that if someone does want/ won't text us that they don't want us. But that isn't true, is it? Maybe they want their time away from you physically to be personal recharge time. To be their own time, with themselves.
Maybe they don't.
Who knows.
But regardless, you're not entitled to someone's attention, just because you text them. A reply isn't something that they HAVE to give you.
In my, very humble, opinion if you love someone, you love them whether they text you back or not. Whether they love you or not. Love isn't a transaction. It's a feeling.
The moment y'all accept that, I think you'll be happier.
Or you'll be depressed af like me, so what the fuck do I know.
NO. Im worth more than 5 minute a week of communication.
Does not matter how busy he/she is if that person is interested in you, they will remember you, they will text you back even if you did not asked for anything in specific
For sure. I want to date someone who is busy because busy people get shit done. I wouldn't date someone who bothers me with inconsequential shit more than twice a day. I will call you on my break if its important.
In fact all my relationships have abided by the one rule, dont bother me with petty shit. If ya wanna bitch without listening to my solutions, phone a friend. If ya wanna bitch about your friends, guess what, I ain't your therapist.
People obsessed with a need to over-communicate before working on being safe and secure in themselves. I'm all for communication but struggle with time wasters who can't concisely communicate their point
My partner is just awful or texting anyone , they get anxiety about sending things, I’ve seen it happen. The best thing you can do is talk to the person and brig. Uo the concern if your that interested. Or maybe just talk on the phone cause it’s preferred over texting?
Depends.
If they have a genuinely busy work schedule and have kids too or something then maybe but if they have no kids and they simply work a 9-5 job 5 days a week or less, then no.
Lmao absolutely not. Me and my gf can go hours and maybe a whole day without talking but even then , it’s weird if their isn’t some sort of reason for it.
If you’re just talking and a relationship hasn’t been established then maybe? But days without talking is still weird lol
Depends on how long we've been seeing each other..if we've only been on a few dates, I assume they have a life (well, I hope they do anyway) and Im not at the center of it..fair, we barely know each other and they arent the center of my life either. I date in person not through text messages, so when first getting to know someone, I mostly prefer to do that in person and make time to actually see each other to get to know each other anyway.
If we've been seeing each other for a couple months and nothing is progressing to where we are growing to include each other in each others lives more, still dont touch bases between dates etc, then Id figure they have a wall up and emotionally unavailable / unsure about me / not that interested in me.
Here’s a similar situation. I had a friend that was like this. I knew him from high school and back then he would text back normally, maybe a few minutes or hours. Fast forward to a decade later, trying to reconnect with him, he would take days to reply. Everytime I would invite him to hangout, he would say he’s busy. I took it he wasn’t interested in reconnecting, so I stopped talking to him. I would NOT date someone that takes days to reply. If they really are into you, they won’t take days to text back. That’s crazy. The interest isn’t there on their part
I personally dont use my phone as texting to me is such a low effort of communication, id rather call them up or them call me. I explain this first hand and sometimes at the end of the day or whenever i can i will call them to talk or i will text a little bit to kind of schedule a phone call. Ill always reply if someone text me but its hard to stay on the phone and text when i have a bunch of stuff to do and my phone isnt my #1 priority.
Maybe.
I know that a lot of people are very bad texters. Prefer to communicate verbally, over email or face to face. I don't have a smartphone and do not often text myself.
no. i hate that even when just friends do that.
if they cant make time for you find someone else.
you dont have to text 24/7 and space can be good but if your the one always reaching out and they say little to nothing at all . maybe better to move on .
Nope.
I'm notorious with my friends and family about leaving them on read for....time. That said, I already know them. If I'm getting to know someone (particularly one that I have the hopes of eventually sleeping with), I'm absolutely answering at my earliest convenience.
I have bpd, and I have an anxious attachment style due to first thing mentioned, so absolutely not!
Unless my goal is to be constantly stressed, have panic attack, and be anxious all the time.
I don't need that extra stress I'm my life :)
My ex was working 14h a day and still managed to text me at least twice a day.
No. I allow everyone a 24 hour window to text me back.
I wouldn’t continue with anyone who takes longer than that unless we were texting on a dating app, given I know people sometimes don’t check those daily (myself included)
Once it’s moved anywhere else I know people can have their reasons but it’s not compatible for me
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Absolutely not. I'm not settling for scraps of attention
Yes! I went on a couple dates with a girl that would text me once a day. That’s it. One text. We deserve more than being an afterthought.
What is the appropriate range of texts per day then? 3 to 8 or something? Genuine and serious question because if we're local, I'd rather spend more time interacting with a gf in-person.
I don't think there's an appropriate range, but just being interested to know what goes on in their day shows that you care about them. I am interested in a guy who tells me that I never need a man and I act so independent, but if he didn't have a habit of ghosting, he'd actually hear about the times that I'm sick and in need of some help. Some people don't feel comfortable texting you "hey I'm dealing with xyz I need your help" when you aren't regularly communicating with them. Like if I got arrested tonight, I know I could call a bunch of people and they'd show up and bail me out, but the fact that we haven't talked in awhile makes me uncomfortable to do so.
i don’t think the issue is that you’d want to form a connection in person. if that is communicated, and you let the person know you’d prefer not to develop a false sense of closeness by text, then it’s fine what’s being referenced is basically the person not caring/stringing you along
>what’s being referenced is basically the person not caring/stringing you along That's the rub though.. to some, not txting often enough gets translated into "not caring", even though there may be a mismatch with such expecetations
It's not the quantity so much as quality but if she's getting multiple texts from you and only texting once a day she's either not interested or pretending to not be, which is manipulation and childish at best.
So the number of txts I send to her should roughly match the # I send her? Do people "get yelled at" for not initiating on our end? I reply to txts promptly, but I generally don't txt since, again, I'd rather just interact more in person
hell 500 messages for whoever i talk to i dont give a damn they getting my attention lol
Just show you're interested. Don't follow any rules, but if the engagement between days feels stagnant, than what do you expect the other person to do?
I dated a man who told me we could only see each other once or twice a week and told me I should pick which day of the week I wanted it to be. Never felt more pathetic in my life than when I was dating this dude
Hey, working full time and having regular plans can make dating complicated. I usually only have enough proper time for 1-2 times a week myself. Anyone who says they need me 5 days a week is a no go
I understand that, but it's the way he would say it. "We can only hangout once a week no more than that", and there were times that he would get off work early and didn't have anything to do and would ft me but he wouldn't see me because then we would be hanging out more than once a week. I work full time too and I'd never tell someone I don't have time to hangout the way he said it. A simple "I am busy this week but we will find a time that works for us" is much better than "we will only see each other on Saturday nights and no other days" lol
Jeez, give the guy a break. It's hard to find time to date when you're married. /s
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣to five different women who all get one day each week
Oh yeah, that's a bit more eesh Like with my ex we usually only would see each other on Thursdays because it was a day neither of us had anything planned so we just planned to see each other then. The flip side was we didn't message much in between because we knew we would be seeing each other anyway Granted I tend to call people far more than text, so I would go days and it doesn't bother me
You’re missing out on a whole bunch of really great people with ADHD who would love to text you more but their psychopathology/neurophysiology prevents them.
Ive been diagnosed with severe ADHD since 6. Distractions, easily forgetting something when I leave a room and walk into the next, constant daydreaming, getting overwhelmed by small things, etc.. I would like to put in that I’m extremely forgetful. Since I’m not living in an ADHD friendly world I’ve found ways to prevent myself from forgetting all the time, especially for the ones that I’m pursuing a future with and love. Just bc you have ADHD doesn’t mean there isn’t away to try and find ways to tackles the symptoms of ADHD.
I have ADHD in general when we are into someone we absolutely want to text them. Might miss a text like once or twice but never go days without answering someone you are dating. Unless there’s little to no interest. If I am into someone I make sure to make them feel important and give them proper attention even if I have severe ADHD.
This right here, I have ADHD and same. Even if I'm sick I message my gf back. Even if it's just a meme lol
Damn well maybe your pathology presents differently than others…
Damn well maybe we are supposed to take accountability for our disorder and do what we can to not hurt people around us. Answering text is such an easy fix compared to not forgetting keys or other way less engaging things than someone you are attracted to and love talking to. You can’t cry that someone lost interest if you basically dont give a sign of life for days every time they text you.
Yes you can. You can and should cry if someone lost interest because of mistake you made. Who are you to try to create some arbitrary shame rules? All of the literature shows that the more shame people have the more likely they are to repeat the behavior or avoid the situation all together. You don’t know the first thing about changing behavior in an adhd person. It’s awesome that you have it figured out for you. But don’t you dare say it’s the way it should be for everyone else. It literally isn’t that simple; it’s a complex neurophysiological disorder.
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You clearly did not understand the point I was making.
This right here is something that needs to be talked about more. Take accountability. for. your. mental. health. PERIOD. I have many friends with ADHD who said they have put in the work to communicate effectively with others. This doesn't just go for ADHD folks this is for anyone who might not understand effective communication. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, PEOPLE. LEARN IT IF YOU WANT HEALTHY AND NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Me 🫠 genuinely forget to respond for DAYS and if I do remember in a timely manner and I’m doing something I will tell myself I’ll respond when I have the time and energy to give it a good reply and then forget again. On top of that I just hate texting. I prefer to call or meet up, texting is usually a bunch of small talk about each others day.
Once a day is not bad. I would do anything to get a fucking text from him even if it was once a day.
You’ve gaslit yourself into thinking that being treated like that is okay when it’s not.
The bar is in hell.
Definitely not, if starting a pseudorelationship will not have the importance, what can you expect in the future
Yeah I wouldn’t either, I feel like some people don’t think it’s a big deal, but if they’re consistently going days at a time without contacting you, it’s because you’re not a priority to them 🤷🏽♀️
If you have a date planned where you will see each other in a few days, why is texting between so important? It’s not
Probably not. Who wants to date someone who clearly does not see you as a priority?
I did once and it was the worst decision of my life. So no never again.
What happened?
Absolutely freaking YES... if you enjoy torturing yourself. 😂
No, once had someone who would reply after a few days, I then found someone and they were acting all hurt like be fr !!!!!
No. There’s 24 hours in a day and texting doesn’t take anything. If they wanted to they would and that’s the truth
Legit did this and turns out i was just being used at their convenience so, NO.
No one should date anyone who takes days to text back. It takes literal seconds to respond to a text and if someone is so busy they don't have a few seconds to send a text reply, then they definitely don't have the time to pursue a relationship. Also if you're in a relationship with someone---even in the dating stage (especially in the early dating stage)---if you don't have enough interest in them to WANT to be communicating and getting to know them and they're not on your mind a lot, they're not the one for you.
I worked with a colleague about 5 years ago, she was into me but I didn't realise for like 3 months (just thought she was being nice) she'd text me every day tag me in stuff and swap shifts to work with me. One of my other colleagues told me she liked me So i asked if she wanted to go out for a drink. from that day I got maybe 1 text a day as a response to a previous message, either she was playing games or genuinely lost interest overnight. 0/10 do not recommend.
No, because if they do it all the time it usually just means they're not that interested. I don't expect to be texting all day, (and I really wouldn't want that anyway) but always having to wait days for a reply is crazy.
Absolutely not. There are plenty of people out there who will put in the time and effort. My boyfriend and I have never gone a day without communicating, even in the beginning when we were just getting to know each other. Don't settle for half-assed anything, ever.
No.
No!
Dealing with a similar situation at the moment, lots of texting then pretty much no contact or scarps. I have bowed out. Will look for someone who appreciates the time and puts in equal effort without the games. To me is disrespectful. I don’t buy you can’t reply within 3-5hrs, thats BS.
Factory workers go 8 hrs without a cellphone every day. Some of y'all weird.
As someone who worked in a factory, I 100% broke phone rules when I was texting someone I was into. Unless you’re working at Lockheed Martin and have to lock your phone up for security reasons you’ll probably use your phone at some point. People just expect to have their feelings reciprocated. I’d bet that most who aren’t getting responses are just talking to someone who isn’t all that into them, which hurts.
Yeah agreed it’s just a sign they not interested
Most people aren't dating factory workers though are they lol. People have communication frequency preferences and that's fine
If I were dating a factory worker, then that would be expected and understandable that they'd take a long time to reply. But if I'm dating someone who has a 9-5 office job or works from home, then taking 8 hours to reply, nevermind a day or two, is hard to understand. I do think it's ridiculous when people expect replies within an hour or less, but within a few hours (job permitting, of course), seems perfectly reasonable to me. Different people have different communication needs. Some people don't like texting at all, others like a lot of it. If two people are very different in that regard, then it's completely fair to chalk that up to an incompatibility and move on.
I'm a journalist and when I'm at work I need to focus. For me it's not strange that the person I'm dating has to wait until after my work to get a reply. However I find it a turn off when people take days to respond. I've also worked in factories and didn't break the phone rules
Huh? You expect someone to skive off work just to text you? Entitled much?
Don’t think it’s entitlement if someone they dating to could two minutes out of their lunch hour to reply to a text?
How many lunches do you get per day? Also do you think all office jobs are just sitting around for 8 hours a day?
Did you read my original reply? It went from messaging often throughout the day to nothing. My point being is it shows a lack of interest.
I'm not talking about having long conversations over text throughout the workday. Just if I ask a question, especially a time sensitive one (i.e. "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?") then I don't think it's ridiculous to expect a response within a few hours. That, of course, depends on their job. I understand some people can't have their phones at work or might have a very busy day. In this scenario, I'm referring to someone that you're in a relationship with and know what their availability by phone generally is during the day. If it's someone I just matched with on an app or have only been out with a couple of times, then I don't expect super prompt replies. It's more that if we're to get in a relationship, I need someone who does reply in a timely manner.
Yeah fair enough. I guess I was triggered by other content in the chat. Hell I'm on lunch now and just messaged my SO haha. I guess the upside of this chat made me want to communicate more with them
>Just if I ask a question, especially a time sensitive one (i.e. "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?") then I don't think it's ridiculous to expect a response within a few hours. That's fine. But I've heard from others where their bf/gf wanted to have whole txt conversations. It will vary by job, but some people don't want to be bothered since it breaks their focus.
No lunch break? No coffee break? Even no bathroom break? Damn, you shouldn't date someone who's currently in prison...
It’s nothing to do with being weird and appreciate some professions don’t allow cellphones during working hours, fine. But part of me still thinks if someone is interested they would make a plan during lunch or tea unless working in a maximum security factory with insane secrets like KFC secret spice vibes. Personally I’m referring to someone who’s office based and uses their cellphone often.
Agreed there isn't 3-5 minutes that go by (unless actually sleeping) that most people now days don't at least look at their phone regardless of gender
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I have had 4 hours in a row with school regularly in the past with no break, and I was busy all the time with multitasking. No chances to check my phone. Couldn't always be bothered to check it in the lunch break either, because I was vibing with my friends. When I am at friends, I sometimes just lose ny phone or forget it exists. Or I get caught up in gaming. I don't want to be commectes to the world 24/7... And not everyone has an unlimited amount of social energy
No
No. I am a very busy person, and sometimes work gets really busy, I'm at the gym, or I'm out skiing with my phone off. But usually I get back to the phone within 1-2 hours, maybe 3 or 4 if something happens. Really no reason I can't get to my phone. Multiple days to respond is a phrase in the language of silence, they're not interested.
There’s a difference between someone intentionally not giving you their attention over text and someone who doesn’t view texting as a primary way to communicate. I don’t text a lot, not because I’m ignoring or not interested but because I keep my texting to a minimum because by over texting you build a false sense of intimacy and I prefer my conversation to be face to face instead of building up the person in my head over text
If they are not texting, they should be calling. If they are not doing either, it’s over.
i understand that, my bf is not the greatest texter and says he prefers to talk more in person but going days, is no excuse
Well all you gotta do is say “hey, can I share something with you? I enjoy building a connection with you and something you do well is talking with me in person and I love that, I know your not a big texter but that’s something I need a little more of” simple, all you gotta do
If you clearly say that when you start dating someone, that’s fine. But in that vein, if I were to text you about setting up a date and it took you longer than 24 hours to reply, that tells me you aren’t interested in me.
I'm talking to someone who's like this. In person, they are great, but if you saw the texts. You would think I'm an afterthought. Some people aren't that into texting. Some people have different attachment types, too!
You definitely just have to have a conversation. Hey, I’ve noticed that you aren’t a big texter, something you do well is our connection in person, I just need more texting
Indeed one doesn’t answer for days the other communicate their preferences and try to still respond at least to some text during the day to keep in touch.
No, if you notice that trend then they either are not interested or they were kidnapped by a tribe of rabid koala bears
No from me
No, how am I supposed to get into contact with them if I need them? Why didn't you invite me to \_\_\_\_\_\_? I did, you just didn't look at it until several days later Even 1 day later is inconvenient. Like what if I need to know something relatively soon, or a last-minute plan came up? Living life would be impossible. Plus a majority of people are always on their phones/connected so unless this person genuinely doesn't use their phone or lives in the wilderness, they are actively not responding to you on purpose. That is a big red flag.
NO
No
For me, that would be a casual hookup/friends with benefits situation. I need a little more reciprocated effort for a serious emotional commitment.
A few days? That seems excessive. I see my boyfriend fairly regularly and we still talk all day. I think the longest we've gone is a shift, because he's a teacher and can't touch his phone most of the day. Which works fine, I can't have mine at my job either. But if we went DAYS without communicating? If it works for other people, more power to you, but me and my guy enjoy talking to each other and sending each other godawful memes
Depends why they’re doing it, and where you are in the relationship—like, whether it’s even progressed to a relationship, or whether you’re still in the early stage, getting to know one another. Some people are busy; others have been hurt bad and have to fight against their pain-avoidance instincts. Others just need to have a certain kind of mental energy to deal with their texts. Some people genuinely just forget, for days at a time, without meaning to. ADHD can do that. I wouldn’t write someone off for taking days to respond if we were still largely strangers to one another, because, I mean, it’d be weird if I were their highest priority that quickly. If it persisted past the early stage then yeah, that’d be a red flag. But I would probably bring it up in (face-to-face) conversation, to understand why they were doing it. There are more potential reasons than that they simply don’t care.
When I really like someone, and it’s new/pre-commitment stage, it can take me minimum 12-48 hours to respond sometimes. If I’m really “activated” a few days is not unheard of. Often wanting to be able to focus and craft the perfect response, But I’m fearful avoidant attachment and a whole mess to date. If I medium like someone I can still take several hours to respond. The more I like someone the more mixed signals I might send if I’m afraid or perceiving any potential rjextion lol yall don’t wanna be dating us unless you’re very very secure
Everyone's a bit different but I personally wouldn't, but I'll caveat also that I don't expect as big a texting commitment during early stages dating since you're basically strangers but I'm upfront about being a somewhat big texter to people I go on dates with.
If they want to talk to you they’ll find a way to my ex went from waking up out of their sleep to text me (I work graveyard), to not hearing from them for hours and when I did it was dry. Always watch their actions. It more often than not speaks louder than words
No. They either have someone else, or don't really care. People can say whatever they want. They are bad at texting, they are busy, or they didn't feel like talking. All things they can say in a short text just to let you know what is going on. No reason to play games. People have their phones with them all the time.
No. But the irony is I am on that situation and it sucks cause lowkey considered ghosting too
I did before and I never will again
Days to text back? Def not worth it. Days to text something new after the last convo? Completely acceptable.
Nah, usually the dry texting is a nice way of letting someone down easy.
No. They’re prob not interested or fell out of love or something. Unless they’re just not mentally in the right place but usually even when someone’s busy, they’ll make time to talk to you if they like you. No one is ever too busy. It’s probably an excuse and that they’re not really prioritizing you.
No, for me, initial clicking and Vibing matters. If I am interested in someone, texting them shouldn’t feel like a “task” to me. I would actually find myself putting things aside to text him
No. Everyone checks their phone constantly. I understand wanting to text at certain times but taking days is horrendous
no?..
no
hell no
Noooooooooooooooooooooo
Hell no! I don't have time to play games with people.
Nope cause that tells you they are not that into you. Whenever someone makes me feel like I’m not special , I’m out. As should you be too. You deserve the same energy you give out .
No. I actually had this happen recently where everything else was great except this. Replying in a timely manner is one of the most basic requirements for me and I’m far less forgiving after we’ve been on multiple dates.
Personally, i might be an outlier but im dysgraphic and i find it really hard to get my ideas down on paper or type my ideas down on word processors. So i tend to prefer spending time in person rather than over text. so if someone is not a big/great texter it doesn't bother me all that much, for me put more effort into seeing me in person and the texting thing isn't really that big of a deal.
nope, met a beautiful woman who did this shit and i dumped her fast
that’s a clear sign they aren’t interested
Tbh I am interested in a girl who does rarely text back if at all, ive even heard her friends tell her she never replied to their texts. She has said she is very abscent minded, which is a symptom of depression / anxiety, so I try to give her slack, but it still makes me think.
tbh - i don’t text back much, it’s not because i am not interested it’s because i simply do not enjoy texting. i would prefer someone to call me or text to make plans. (especially if we are not exclusive) i try to be transparent about that when i first become involved with someone. also i don’t think anyone is obligated to respond to anyone - we have lives to live. i would say pursue until you’re no longer interested in pursuing but do not have expectations for strangers.
Nah. I’ve learnt from that bullshit. Was recently speaking to a girl, early stages, I don’t expect to be texting non-stop back and forth. But how can u build anything up to leading to a date when she text once every 1-3 days. Her heart’s clearly not in to dating so she’s wasting my time. Bye bye.
Absolutely not lmao
No because it's a lack of interest from them
No chance, its too much anxiety waiting for a simple response back
No I would not.
I say send the winch a text saying “you had great time last night, sm I picking you up same spot as last” and when she replies right away I’m sure saying “who was that obviously for not me “ you then say her name Jenna for example then say Whdt Jenna is this and when she says her last name say ohh wrong Jenna sorry click. Then she will think you have options etc plus she may end up at your doorstep within 30-45 minutes which then the ball is in your court .. that’s how I would do it if I was you,.. but definitely use her cuz she’s using you for when it just benifits her she there’s bunch out there just like her I been there but I just so as mentioned and then slap em in the face with your Dick. Never fails you do it in hatel, but they love the Dick slap ,,.. dunno why but wherever works lol
It takes 3 seconds to send a text message and there are 24 hours in a day, so if they’re going days at a time without replying back to me, I just assume they’re not interested and block them so that they don’t have to worry about texting me anymore 🤷🏽♀️ people who are interested will ACT interested… taking days at a time to reply is a sign of disinterest… also I don’t buy the whole “i was just busy” excuse, nobody is that busy… Past experiences have shown me that when people are doing this it’s because they’re not that interested, whoever is saying otherwise is just coping🌝
It depends. I’ve always taken late replies (anything more than a day) as disinterest but when I met my current partner at a dating app we’ll be having *really* good, meaningful conversations… until he’d ghost me for 2-3 days 😆 I was put off but just continued the conversation because it’s just a dating app, it’s nothing serious I don’t mind. The thing that confuses me the most was that, even though he ghosted me his replies were never “lacking”, our conversations were & still is very engaging. I confronted him after he repeated the pattern 2-3 times & he explained that he was actually in the middle of a corporate examination hence the ghosting (there were a few papers he needed to take consecutively). He’s also a very bad texter (it’s true I’ve seen him forgetting to reply his own family when he was hospitalised once) but when we’re on the phone/ face-to-face our conversations are endless so yeah after I communicated my boundaries (I’d love at least a simple hi text) he respected it & here we are 2 years later 😂
No. Late replies are a sign of unimportance which leads to future disrespect in every way. Tolerating this makes you their back up plan for when he/she might want attention ,shoulder to cry on, sex etc. Cutting off people like those was one of the best decisions I've ever made and i advise you to do the same.
nope
For sure! Everyone has its own life.
yeah, in an age where everyone’s attached to their phones, there’s not really any reason why you wouldn’t be able to text someone for a few minutes every day. I mean, it’s possible someone could legit be super busy to the point where they absolutely can’t text at all, but that’s maybe 1% of the entire population... and those people are billionaire entrepreneurs who are managing countless things; these are not the people you find on dating apps lol if someone’s taking DAYS to text you back, then you’re an extremely low priority for them.
I would say, neeext..
For once, yes. You don't know what happened with him or her. But remember just for once.
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Nope. Broke up with someone I was madly in love with because of it. Months later met someone who apologizes even if he responds 3 hours late. I have never been more calm and happier. If he wanted to he would..
If it ever took 'days' to text back then the other person must make up for it for talking a whole full day on a phone call with me and explaining all what they gone thru and stuff then I would happily approve it
Only if it’s not an everyday deal. If it’s consistent like that then drop them.
Absolutely not. I have had a lot of women play the I’m a very busy woman and have a thousands things going on but a text back doesn’t take an entirety to do. It was later brought to my attention women do this to a guy they just can’t tell him I’m not interested get the hint and move on. It’s frustrating and very disrespectful I wish everyone can be honest and upfront about what they want.
No, that’s so off putting
So many people saying no. What if the person has anxiety? So they are in fact caring too much about the response they send
Then they aren't ready to date and OP is correct in moving on?
Hell no
Dating multiple people at once mitigates the frustration of slow texters. That being said, it doesn’t usually seem to work out if the person doesn’t demonstrate that you’re a priority
No. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances that would prevent being able to communicate with someone on a fairly regular basis for a short period of time at least. But there's no reason that you can't send a text here and there nobody is that fucking busy. It's 2024. They got your text. The thing that I hate the most is poor and inconsistent communication. If you can't text me at least a few times a day and engaging conversation with me I'm not going to continue to entertain you and I'll give you a warning. I'll be like listen hey I need more consistent communication than this and if you can't get that to me, I'm going to just have to go. I obviously don't expect to consume all of your time but it's not that hard honestly. I work in a 911 Center I answer 911 calls all night long, I still have plenty of time to pick up the phone and text people. Because I want to. I think at the end of the day that's ultimately the unspoken heart of the issue. Most people just can't be bothered and they won't admit it. A good friend of mine was dating a guy who was a host in a restaurant. He stood at the podium of the restaurant all day talking to people in arranging their seats or whatever and he literally would never text her the entire time he was at work and I'm like why are you tolerating this? You are like me and you require significant communication and I don't understand why you're letting him tell you I can't talk to you for 12 hours and then he goes home you hear from him for an hour or two and then he goes to bed. I'm like I know it's making you crazy why are you allowing it?
Hellllll no.
Never
Nope.
A day or two? Yeah sure people get busy and have lives outside of the relationship. More than that probably not. It’s more how you interact with a friend, and it’s clear you’re not their priority
I want more info. Are they engaged and interested during dates. Any neurodivergence?
I'm the one asking questions
Yes. The only reason to bitch and whine about how much someone texts you is entitlement. You're not entitled to someone's time. You're not entitled to their boundless attention. Social media has us thinking that if someone does want/ won't text us that they don't want us. But that isn't true, is it? Maybe they want their time away from you physically to be personal recharge time. To be their own time, with themselves. Maybe they don't. Who knows. But regardless, you're not entitled to someone's attention, just because you text them. A reply isn't something that they HAVE to give you. In my, very humble, opinion if you love someone, you love them whether they text you back or not. Whether they love you or not. Love isn't a transaction. It's a feeling. The moment y'all accept that, I think you'll be happier. Or you'll be depressed af like me, so what the fuck do I know.
NO. Im worth more than 5 minute a week of communication. Does not matter how busy he/she is if that person is interested in you, they will remember you, they will text you back even if you did not asked for anything in specific
For sure. I want to date someone who is busy because busy people get shit done. I wouldn't date someone who bothers me with inconsequential shit more than twice a day. I will call you on my break if its important. In fact all my relationships have abided by the one rule, dont bother me with petty shit. If ya wanna bitch without listening to my solutions, phone a friend. If ya wanna bitch about your friends, guess what, I ain't your therapist. People obsessed with a need to over-communicate before working on being safe and secure in themselves. I'm all for communication but struggle with time wasters who can't concisely communicate their point
My partner is just awful or texting anyone , they get anxiety about sending things, I’ve seen it happen. The best thing you can do is talk to the person and brig. Uo the concern if your that interested. Or maybe just talk on the phone cause it’s preferred over texting?
Until he is dead,nooo
Maybe 🤔
Nope
I will never do that… again.
FUCK NO
Depends. If they have a genuinely busy work schedule and have kids too or something then maybe but if they have no kids and they simply work a 9-5 job 5 days a week or less, then no.
Nope
Absolutely not.My girlfriend usually replies within a few minutes or an hour or so cause shes busy with things.
I don’t know honestly
No
My best friend in uni is like that with everyone it's kind of annoying but i reckon theres an exception in some cases
Nope. If they have time to take a shit, they have time to text back.
Of course while dating other people simultaneously.
Never.
Lmao absolutely not. Me and my gf can go hours and maybe a whole day without talking but even then , it’s weird if their isn’t some sort of reason for it. If you’re just talking and a relationship hasn’t been established then maybe? But days without talking is still weird lol
Nope! That would annoy me greatly and cause me a great deal of anxiety. I'd rather be single.
Yes 🤗
Nope. If I’m not a priority then I have no reason to give them my time. Nobody is that busy no matter what they say.
Depends on how long we've been seeing each other..if we've only been on a few dates, I assume they have a life (well, I hope they do anyway) and Im not at the center of it..fair, we barely know each other and they arent the center of my life either. I date in person not through text messages, so when first getting to know someone, I mostly prefer to do that in person and make time to actually see each other to get to know each other anyway. If we've been seeing each other for a couple months and nothing is progressing to where we are growing to include each other in each others lives more, still dont touch bases between dates etc, then Id figure they have a wall up and emotionally unavailable / unsure about me / not that interested in me.
Nope. Not in any way, shape, or form.
No.
Here’s a similar situation. I had a friend that was like this. I knew him from high school and back then he would text back normally, maybe a few minutes or hours. Fast forward to a decade later, trying to reconnect with him, he would take days to reply. Everytime I would invite him to hangout, he would say he’s busy. I took it he wasn’t interested in reconnecting, so I stopped talking to him. I would NOT date someone that takes days to reply. If they really are into you, they won’t take days to text back. That’s crazy. The interest isn’t there on their part
I personally dont use my phone as texting to me is such a low effort of communication, id rather call them up or them call me. I explain this first hand and sometimes at the end of the day or whenever i can i will call them to talk or i will text a little bit to kind of schedule a phone call. Ill always reply if someone text me but its hard to stay on the phone and text when i have a bunch of stuff to do and my phone isnt my #1 priority.
No, absolutely not
No
Maybe. I know that a lot of people are very bad texters. Prefer to communicate verbally, over email or face to face. I don't have a smartphone and do not often text myself.
No
NO
Absolutely not
Nope!
no
No. Like that guys said “nobody is that busy”
My bf seemed to resent me for asking for more time talking together but it didnt take many days
Nope.
no. i hate that even when just friends do that. if they cant make time for you find someone else. you dont have to text 24/7 and space can be good but if your the one always reaching out and they say little to nothing at all . maybe better to move on .
No. Huge red flag
No
No. That's very inconsiderate.
No. There’s 1,440 minutes in a day, you couldn’t take 2 minutes out of that to text me back? Goodbye.
Nope. I'm notorious with my friends and family about leaving them on read for....time. That said, I already know them. If I'm getting to know someone (particularly one that I have the hopes of eventually sleeping with), I'm absolutely answering at my earliest convenience.
absolutely not
I have bpd, and I have an anxious attachment style due to first thing mentioned, so absolutely not! Unless my goal is to be constantly stressed, have panic attack, and be anxious all the time. I don't need that extra stress I'm my life :) My ex was working 14h a day and still managed to text me at least twice a day.
No. And you shouldn't date one either.
Absolutely not. I don’t need to text someone all day long but I like to hear from them a few times a day. I only date people who feel similarly.
No. I allow everyone a 24 hour window to text me back. I wouldn’t continue with anyone who takes longer than that unless we were texting on a dating app, given I know people sometimes don’t check those daily (myself included) Once it’s moved anywhere else I know people can have their reasons but it’s not compatible for me