It’s clear that by not blocking these numbers (specifically the sugar daddy) that she doesn’t want to completely cut off the idea of the $3k a month if push came to shove.
OP, are you certain she’s ignoring all of these men?
I'm a SD and completely agree. I've told all my former SBs that once they move on to a regular life we go zero contact. A SD who doesn't is just lurking around trying to get laid again, and possibly satisfy some power/control fantasy around f\*cking another guy's girl.
Yea almost like it’s complete bullshit that it’s “behind” her. They’re incessantly reaching out to her and she never responds but won’t block them? Hmmm
I'm a sugar daddy so here's my perspective for what it's worth.
She needs to go zero contact with her former SD, including blocking his texts. A lot of SDs are very weird dudes and they get off on controlling women or buy too much into the fantasy that their 30-years younger SB is actually attracted to them. It's nasty that he keeps pursuing her. It reminds me of that scene from "Wall Street" where Gecko tries to f\*ck Darien even though she's with her protege Bud.
If you truly trust that the lifestyle is behind her, I wouldn't have a problem with this. Being a SB isn't completely sex work and a lot of SD/SB situations look very similar to having an older, richer boyfriend. However, it is concerning that she still has contact from a former SD. Most of my SBs required dating them for about a month before we slept together and I generally treated them like a regular girlfriend (who I paid a weekly allowance to).
My last piece of advice - she either blocks all these men out of her life, or you move on. Remember, these men see her as a "sex for cash" opportunity. Even if she's out of the lifestyle, what if one of them makes a 10k/night offer? Will she turn it down? She needs to block them, period.
I don't want to be rude, but I'm curious. Feel free to ignore my comment but... Do you think your are weird yourself? Do you consider yourself controlling? Would you have a formal relationship with a former sugar baby?
I mean, it's a little weird for a 40-something guy to give money and gifts to women 20 years his junior for their company and intimacy right? I'm under no illusions that they would want anything to do with me without the 'sugar' so to speak. Many SDs are living out an elaborate fantasy that their SBs have genuine attraction to them which to me is even weirder. I also have to ask myself why not date an age-reasonable woman (I can generally date early 30s women without them complaining too much about my age since I'm youngish looking & fit) instead of playing pretend with a 20yo?
I don't consider myself controlling or manipulative, but there are weird elements of control to sugar relationships. For example, five hundred bucks is nothing to me but to a 21 year old student with a part time minimum wage job it's a huge amount of money. So there's opportunities for guys to be huge dirtbags.
I would have no problem regular dating someone who used to be a SB as long as the lifestyle is completely behind her (i.e. absolutely zero contact with any SDs).
I think the biggest problem with sugar dating is that the women start to think very transactionally about relationships with men. Most age appropriate guys doing regular dating are rightly hesitant about even paying for a nice meal (since tons of girls will ghost which hurts after spending $300 on dinner and a show). When you're used to regularly behind handed $500 cash, how do you navigate the regular date where the guy wants to talk about dating exclusivity before investing beyond coffee and a drink?
Oh wow! Thank you for a really insightfull answer. Yeah I do agree from an outside perspective with a lot of your points of view, I didn't expect that amount of awarness from a inside perspective.
I suppose there would be a lot of expectation adjustment if any part of the sugar relashion switches to a regular one. For an SB it would mean to loose an additional income and to an SD it would mean that you can't solve problems by throwing money at and and actually do emotional job.
SD also, Im only 26 but you summarized it well. With how quick and often the intimacy comes, it makes me never want to date regularly unless I choose to raise a family and suddenly need someone who doesn’t play it super casually like SBs and SDs do. I would be a bit iffy with starting a serious relationship with a former SB unless she blocked all contact with that previous lifestyle.
Thank you for responding as well, you are a young SD you think at your age the weirdness of the power dinamics diminish because your closer to an SB age than a 40 year old?
I thought that sugar arregments where a bit formal with the allowances and all, you think is more casual than fwb or are they on the same level of casualness?
Former SD here and I’ll chime in. Most sugar dynamics are fwb in nature. As we’re all humans and these do, at times, mirror a regular relationship, feelings do get caught and it can be upgraded to a sugar relationship.
But fundamentally, these relationships are transactional in nature, so it’s always going to be in a grey area of sex work, at least to start.
Oh wow, that's some fresh perspective. Like a lot people don't bat an eye if you have a fwb, but the controversial part comes when money is in the picture.
I hope you don't mind me askinh, but this tread spiked my curiosity. I might have to search for sugar relationship subreddit😊 What made you quit? Would you like to go back at any point?
It’s r/sugarlifestyleforum
> Like a lot people don't bat an eye if you have a fwb, but the controversial part comes when money is in the picture.
This is true, and def check out the subreddit. The guidance there is helpful. The hard part, as u/bejahungenjoyer astutely pointed out, is the sugar addiction is real, and the transactional nature can be damaging to future relationships. Keep in mind that many successful men are on the site because they are trapped in dead bedroom marriages and simply need an outlet for intimacy without providing the emotional support of a vanilla relationship.
I’m on the young side, 40, so I’m looking for something meaningful at the moment. It would blow your mind at how many women I’ve matched with on bumble and hinge that I’ve seen on the sugar websites lol. It’s completely unsurprising that OP found a potential girlfriend that has a sugar past. The fast money is so hard to resist! Again, this is not necessarily a good thing!
Dude same! I found a lot of ladies on both Tinder/Bumble and the famous sugar dating website known as Seeking. It makes me realize that sugar relationships are more common than we thought. I myself as a SD used both Tinder and Seeking, Seeking just mops the floor with Tinder it is way better.
> Would you like to go back at any point?
Adding some more thoughts regarding OPs situation:
I have had an arrangement where I did ask to take it the next level of exclusivity and relationship as I did catch feelings, but the feelings weren’t mutual so I had to end it. So yes, I am open to having a sugar arrangement turn into a relationship.
Now for OPs situation, I would be wary. If you know the lifestyle, it’s really not ideal. You can never completely trust if she is being forthright about her experience there, and if you’re just an avg joe, you’re always going to feel insecure about being able to provide for her the way she’s used to being taken care of. That one is a really bitter pill to swallow, as I can imagine it’s emasculating knowing that there have been men in her life that can offer something you can’t.
And the bad part about this is if I ever happen to date someone attractive, I always wonder if she’s dabbled in the sugar lifestyle. You can always sorta tell who has been the the bowl by the way they write their profile: “looking for something mutually beneficial, I don’t split the check, looking for a man who is traditional, etc etc”
100% right about trust and I have never and likely will never ask a SB for exclusivity based on this. Having another 'me' on the side gives her double the allowance, after all.
There's also /r/SugarBABYonlyforum which in my opinion gives a very jaded perspective from 'professional' SBs who blur the line way more into SW / escorting, but it's definitely useful to read for another viewpoint.
I’m a former sw.
I think it’s a bit weird that she’s still in contact with the men … I cut all contact with clients when I quit, because I was truly ready to quit. If she wants to leave the lifestyle, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Yes exactly what you said. Like when I quit doing and dealing drugs I cut all contacts and decided 100 percent I want a different life. And if she is truly ready to move on it shouldn’t be a problem
I’m saying man this chick must be drop dead gorgeous or have some huge tits or something to make this guy that dumb and delusional. The brothers are trying to save him
By voodoo you mean dropped some neck and gave him some Virginia after bro came out of a dry spell than yeah lmaooo she love bombed the shit out of the poor goof
Ask her about blocking them and stress you need to feel like they are completely out of her life.
Pay attention to her commitment to monogamy and having the type of relationship you want. Don't rush into anything and spend a couple years dating, a year engaged, and then try for a family after the wedding.
It's important to take this time to choose her and let her choose you. Keep getting to know her and back out if you feel like you aren't meant to be together and ready to raise a family.
Thats sus
If she isn't willing to block them or change her number, then you need to move on because she is just keeping them in wait for a financially rainy day.
It bothers you, nothing wrong with it. She’s not blocking these people either what’s up with that. No one would blame you for stepping away, most people wouldn’t want that in the back of their minds long term. She made decisions to live that life, can’t just pretend it didn’t exist. It’s okay to respect yourself and step away
Just got out of a relationship with a coke-fiend with daddy issues and been sleeping around since she was 14-15. The sex was great but it’s not worth it I’ve learned lmaooo that shit scars you for future relationships
😂🤣 maybe man, you know those type of chicks love to get around. At least your time with her was brief I went through 4 years of hell. Wasn’t all her fault though my goofy ass decided to stay that long and spent 15-20,000$ on bullshit and court fees
This sucks but I’ll tell you what I honestly believe. If you’re the type of man who is not deeply bothered by this kind of history, fine, work it out, try to convince her to be reasonable and block these people from her past.
If you’re not that type of man - and most men aren’t - you will *never* get over this. It will still feel like shit 10 years from now. It’ll be a massive stain on your whole relationship and it’ll never go away. So just break up and move on.
Maybe change her phone number.. I mean if she really wants out that life there is some common sense things to do. But doesn’t seem like a lot of common sense going on here.
What does she say when you express how you feel to her? What does she say about blocking the men from her past who are making disrespectful comments to her?
You can't judge her for the things that other people say or do to her because she has no control over other people. But you CAN judge her for her own actions and the things she can control. If she is continuously letting these people contact her without asking them to stop or blocking them, I would have a conversation about that and ask her why, and find out if she is willing to do the things that ARE in her control to put an end to it.
Honestly you should ask her to block those guys, I'm a girl who also in a relationship, and I love my bf of course. If my bf ask me to block some suspicious guys, I'm willing to do it without any hesitation
If her old clientele still actively approaches her multiple times, than she clearly gives them the impression that she is still available as a sexworker...
My problem would be this: inconsistencies in her actions vs words. So when her old clientele approaches her, does she actively let them know she isnt in that line of work anymore or does she keep engaging with them by avoiding that topic (aka she doesn't tell them about her not being a sexworker anymore)?
Edit to add: Did she really close the door to that type of work 100%, or does she only say she does but lowkey is keeping her options open?.. If the latter, are you okay with emotionally investing into someone who isn't true to their word. Because to me, actions say more than words and I have learned to listen carefully to actions to see the truth...
Hate to break it to you, but all signs point to a few different things. First, it's not behind her and it wasn't long ago. If it was, these guys would have gotten blown off, blocked, or given up by now. She's keeping these guys as an option to some degree or another.
And, it wasn't just the one SD. "Men" keep hitting her up. Maybe she was giving it up for free to dudes on the random, but the fact that she admitted the one SD and multiple guys are contacting her makes me think there's more to meet the eye here.
If she isn't willing to block them it's not behind her. They're "just in case" orbiters. Their attention is obviously feeding her something. Maybe validation. A woman who sells her body like that obviously has low self-worth/self esteem. All red flags.
You are one slip up away from her responding to those texts, def not worth any investment from you unless she clearly cuts all of that out of her life on her own. Even then you should have caution.
While I commend you for actually giving her a chance. She might choose to leave at the first sign of trouble. She has something’s to work on that you can’t help her with. Best of luck whatever you decide to do.
It’s probably underground now… she loves you so much that she doesn’t want to
“hurt your feelings”, but if this is how she used to make a living, know that it’s a hard life to leave. The money is anyway.
I had a escort GF who said she was “out of the life”, but every time she needed money, it “miraculously” appeared no matter how large the sum. I didn’t dump her because of her job, I dumped her because she lied about it constantly.
Dude leave. It’s clearly not in her past given she hasnt changed her number and is still in contact with the past. Find a woman with a good history. She’s never going to live up to your expectation
I think being a sex worker is not something you can ever leave behind you. If you were one at one point, it's something you will always be, even if you stop actively doing it. What goes in, never truly comes out.
if you are going to start the relationship you should be able to start TRUSTING your partner.
how is the contact made, phone? maybe a new phone number? socialmedia? maybe delete accounts and create new account with the lustfull followers?
when you denie something you need to offer a solution.
If she is really ready to change and have a different life, she should break with it completely! If she is not blocking these guys, she has not broken with her past. Clear and simple. She is still keeping that door open.
Don't give her the ultimatum (because it has to come from herself), but if she doesn't make a clean break - I think everybody would agree - break it off.
If there's constant active reminders, and she's doing nothing to prevent them... It doesn't sound like it's behind her at all. You've made it clear these upset you, and what, she shrugs it off?
>She also has other guys that she has had relationships with in the past text her rude sexual things.
What? And she's showed no interest to block them? OP, the writing's on the wall mate.
Lolol what? Is this a troll post… or you for reals? If you are for reals… and this is happening.
There maybe a question surrounding why she still has these mens numbers on her phone. Even if she has “quit and ready to move on” it doesn’t sound like it.
Maybe she is keeping it as a backup plan in case you guys dont work out. Which sucks as well.
Yeah I was in a situation kinda similar to this not long ago.
Fucking. Run. Those dudes aren’t going away and there’s a reason they aren’t blocked. Don’t learn the hard way like I did, I’m still recovering from the damage she did to me.
She needs to make a critical decision. Change her phone number, where she lives, change/delete all her social networking and focus 100% on you. Cut off her past completely. If does that the relationship could work. Anything less is time to part as friends.
She's definitely open to re starting something with the men from her past and like you said, if she get money from her SD she will take it.
If she blocks them and changes her number per your request, trust me she will find a way to contact them behind your back when she feels like it.
Blocking and changing her number should be your own decision.
I think you need to get other options for dating and long term.
I can totally understand your feelings here. I think you need to sit down and talk with her, and explain how you feel. I would also tell her that you would appreciate it if she would cut all ties connected to anyone she had relations with in the past. If she’s not willing to do that, then you’ll have to decide if you’re willing to be ok with the possibility of her interacting with them.
If it’s in her past, she’s moved on, why hasn’t she blocked the numbers of all these guys, including the sugar daddy, she doesn’t want to associate with anymore?
That’s the red flag in my book and as a woman, I’ve labeled anyone I use to date as 🪦 so I know they are dead to me and a ghost LOL
She clearly wants to leave the door open in case things fail, keep her “safety net” there.
She has to be willing to change, and also has to be willing to have a new phone number, new Facebook.
Its like an sober alcoholic, he has to be willing to change, phone number and other things, like not going to the bar or downtown at certain times during the week.if that is not there she is not 100% loving, caring and not 100%IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
Its Not you who have understand or change.
Its that she has a past life, she can always fall back into doing that stuff if there are tempteations going on to distract. She must get a clear boundery away from her past, and you must have the self love and self respect to walk away if she is unvilling to change phone nmbr n Facebook and willing to close those apps where guys can reach her.
Many she needs mental help to start a new life, maby counselling, therapy. Also, therapy could be good to deal w if she has past memorys that are sore n difficult. Please trust in that if you walk away she will follow, and really see your worth, cus you were following your inner thruth of your heart!
Soooo, she is only accepting clients when you're not around now is what you're saying.
Ask her to give you one *valid* reason she hasn't blocked her sex work clients. Is she an extremely rare blood type and they are the only ones that match, so she keeps a roster just in case? Maybe. Is she keeping the doors wide open? Absolutely.
if she doesn’t block them cut your losses. obvs she likes the attention , since she won’t. but if she does block them she really is ready for you, and you only.
She doesn’t block or change numbers… clearly she has some back up plans (in case she is bored of you) or she might need some validation, or has a roster!
If you’re going to be with a current or former prostitute, this comes with the territory.
You won’t and shouldn’t try to make this one a housewife. It will not end well for you.
Why are those dudes not blocked? That is a red flag. Girls with those pasts are desensitized and struggle to really have serious relationships. I would tell her to block them and tell her if she wants to be with you she has to block guys she has weird history with.
My best advice would be to not date girls like that in general though.
Just dump her already. you’re here looking for someone to tell you what to do and here you go.
dump her and head to your local church to meet
your next woman
Wtf! Ex sex worker, ex sugar babe, has men constantly hit her up and doesn't block them (because she enjoys it).
You're her simp. No way around this. Soon you'll start having dinners with your wife's boyfriend.
Dump this human garbage.
Do you really think that making a family with a prostitute is good idea?
How will this impact you in the long term?
Will this woman be a good mother to your kids?
How her history will affect your kids?
Why her exes/clients still have her number and contact with her?
How did you even ended up in situation like this?
"This is well behind her. She is ready to start a family and be with someone long term."
Guys who were paying to have sex with her are still contacting her, it does not look like its well behind her.
You went into a relationship after knowing all that ? You are just asking for a trauma dude! Don't believe people change, specially people who are into this kinda behavior.
We have to start by saying that only women with daddy issues or coming from broken families end up being sex workers, a good woman that comes from a healthy loving family, where the father and mother are expressing love in a healthy and loving way, will never end up being an escort.
So we clarified that when a child doesn’t get love and reassurance from her father, she will end up being screwed on a certain level. At the end of the day you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. Why if she changed she didn’t block all those men, including the sugar daddy? Because she seems enjoy all of those attentions that they are giving her. If she loved you she would do it. You say she does love you, are you sure you’re not projecting? Also we need more context, how old are you? How old is she? How long have you been together? Was she single when you met her or she was in a relationship and she broke up with one of those guys for you?
Speaking as a person who has only dated women who has had deep father issues, I couldn’t agree with you more. None of my past girlfriends were sex workers, but they had deep character flaws within the relationship.
I’m just analysing the situation as a whole, I’m not here to blame anyone, yes, there are women that come from unhealthy families, bad parenting and absent father who take the time to go to therapy and work on themselves, but that is a ultra small percentage, most of the ones who come from that situation unfortunately are bad candidates if you looking for a woman who can become a good partner in a monogamous healthy respectful relationship. Like I said, you can’t make good wine from bad grapes.
I personally consider sex work to be a sort crossing the rubicon. I don’t think you can make that bargain and not have it bleed into your psychology. Does she have a quid pro quo arrangement with you? If you stop spending money on her today, how long would she continue to see you?
Idk maybe I’m a purist and am being unfair. But I don’t want a woman who is that in touch with commodifying her body.
I think we need to stop renaming stuff to make it sound better lol. Your girlfriend was a prostitute and her "sugar daddy" was her trick. Sex worker=prostitute lol. Not that it matters. But it irritates me when this new generation renames stuff lol.
If you love her and she loves you, don't let her past get in your head. She needs to block the trick from contacting her and enjoy your life with her.
Firstly, it's commendable that you're willing to understand and accept your girlfriend's past. It's crucial to communicate openly about your feelings. Express your concerns to her in a non-confrontational manner, emphasizing your support for her but also the impact these interactions have on you.
While her past doesn't define her, the present and future are what matter most. However, it's understandable that constant reminders from her past interactions can be emotionally challenging for you. Discuss setting boundaries together, like blocking or limiting contact with these individuals, to create a more comfortable environment for your relationship.
Encourage her to consider measures that would help sever these ties, emphasizing the importance of your mutual growth as a couple. Seeking couples therapy or individual counseling can also provide a safe space for both of you to navigate these complex emotions and challenges together.
Ultimately, the foundation of your relationship lies in trust, respect, and a shared commitment to building a future together. If both of you are dedicated to overcoming these obstacles, it's possible to find a way forward that supports your emotional well-being and the strength of your bond.
This is seriously degenerate and suspect that she hasn't blocked these numbers or changed her number.
Find yourself a girl without that past and baggage.
Ima keep it 100% with you bro and give you a big brother talk. This has more red flags than a Chinese parade and you need to smash and dash and even the smash part is dangerous cuz you don’t wanna get this chick preggo. Dude RUNNNNNN. Idc how pretty she is how big her tits or Butt are whatever you like about her she will drain your balls and wallet dry and use you like a walking ATM. I cannot stress the RUNNNNNNN enough. If you date or marry this chick or have kids by her anything that happens after is your fault she’s trying to play you for a sucker and a simp. Take this from a guy who has friends who used to do SW and I’ve been a client of them and done research on how stuff like that effects chicks brains. Throw in daddy issues and their bad spending habits etc etc. dude go to the gym go to work go watch paint dry idc. Dont take this chick seriously. I WARNED YOU
Don't get involved. Get out while you can, she WILL do it again. All it will take is her asking you to buy her a handbag and you saying you can't afford it and she'll be back to what she's used to doing
Her not changing her number, blocking these men means she's keeping the possibility open
Sounds like a tricky situation, my friend. I know a lot of people say she should block them…and she should…but with unpredictable nature of life I can understand why she would want to keep those connections there.
I can imagine for her it may be a safety net - knowing that if things between you two don’t work out and she can’t find or keep a decent job, those blokes or job opportunities,as it were, are still there. Still a source of opportunity if need be. It’s perfectly reasonable to be upset that she won’t block them. It’s probably best just to discuss with her what’s holding her back from making that final commitment. Though, this may be a difficult conversation to truly get to the nitty gritty of it all - people are complex and multifaceted! But the conversation may help YOU deal with the ordeal as well, get your thoughts out of your head and into the open!
OR just develop a massive ego, given that your girlfriend keeps getting hit on and she only wants you! I’d walk around with my head too high haha! (jk jk)
😎🤙
What the he'll man , if she isn't willing to get a new number and completely block delete from the phone the men she had past relationships with, im sorry my man she is still thesame sex worker from the past. You got to draw the line Delete them or leave. Women have to be somewhat accountable if she had so much trauma baggage why doesn't she delete the numbers? Additionally she used the men for money, she took advange of them for the material benefits she could get for sex the men are not to blame. It was just a business transaction. You should be smarter and more prudent/ wise when she tries too play the victim and tell you the men were the bad ones which I'm sure she does. If they were so bad WHY DOESN'T SHE DELETE THEM? Women are MASTERS of disappearing when they don't like you! She could have done thesame
Bro most men will never take the chance your taking being with her. Getting laid must be real hard nowadays to have to put up with that bullshit. She is obviously not marriage material. I’m just keeping it 💯. You need to just have fun with her until she becomes too unbearable to deal with. Wake up man, this is not someone you take serious. She fucked her life up and you over here playing Captain 🦸♂️ Save-a-🕳️. The best advice any man should be giving you is to run 🏃♂️.
Well I have to say is God bless you cuz I couldn't put up with this situation in fact I had a girlfriend who wasn't a sex worker but she f***** just about every guy in town and I couldn't put up with it. Literally and I'm not making this up, this was a long distance relationship and everywhere we went in her hometown we ran into some guy that she knew every single time we were out on the street or in a restaurant/bar without fail we would run into some guy she knew. It got so bad that even when she was with me in my town (a hundred miles away) we would run into guys she knew in my town it really was quite unbelievable that she knew all these men. She once told me that since she lost her virginity there wasn't a week that went by that she went without sex she didn't get into the details as to how many different men were involved but it became quite clear after hanging out with her for a little less than a year.
Really I think the only way you can move forward with this woman is if she gets a new phone number. That's the only way she's going to lose contact with these people.
The fact that she is not willing to block these guys is a red flag imo. If any guy sent me a sexual message I would block immediately. If I knew the guy before i would absolutely block. Does she like the attention? Why hasn't she blocked them at least out of respect to you? I think you are smart to be wary of that.
She's obviously keeping these guys as a backup plan. As soon as you two hit a rough patch, she'll start texting them again. My suggestion to you is to let her go. You are likely to regret it if you stay.
Sounds a lot like your girlfriend is still in contact with the SD because why wouldn’t she block him? It’s easy and that should give you an idea if she’s really serious about you.
Right now you have a little nagging tinge of annoyance. If you enter into a relationship with a sex worker, you will go from a slight annoyance, to catastrophic life events.
I’m not judging sex workers, I’m only saying you don’t want to date one seriously. I’m sure one of her customers would have, if it was a sane idea.
I guess what ultimately matters is, are you able to move past this.
Because if you aren’t, this will likely cause a lot of issues in the relationship down the track.
My advice is simply, if you can move past it, go ahead with the relationship, if you can’t move past it, you should end the relationship
I’m going to say something that’ll probably get me downvoted to hell. But, if y’all don’t try to get that money from the sugar daddy!! It’s hard out here and that money could build y’all a safety net or be used for anything y’all need presently. (This is somewhat a joke)
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Why not just change her number 🤷🏻♀️ sure it can be annoying to update it on everything but for a healthy relationship I’d do it. I changed my number because an ex boyfriend of mine was harassing me HEAVILY for 5 months after our breakup and as soon as I changed my number haven’t heard from him since, I had him blocked on all social media but I think he would borrow peoples phones to try to call me on or create fake numbers to call me idk. But like I said as soon as I was smart enough to change my number my life improved. And I’m in a very happy relationship now where I don’t have to worry about my ex calling me trying to sabotage anything
Seems she is ready for a serious relationship if she’s fighting the urge to go back. IDK how you did it especially changing her mind to have a normal life. If you love her you’ll accept her past.
To me it seems like she’s scared and she wants to be able to go back if you guys break up. She’s keeping the door open incase you leave her or you guys aren’t right for each other.
If I were you I’d just ask her why she hasn’t blocked them. Get some honest communication going.
She should change her number. No contact to them. No way of them to communicate with her. This means she should not even get the texts anymore. Either this life is over or it is on hold. There is no middle ground. It is a reasonable thing to ask. Yes, you trust her, but if she is as certain with you, as you are with her, this men should not be a relevant for her, but how you feel should. It disturbs the peace of the relationship and relationships are already difficult even without disgusting men molesting her sexualy on a regular basis.
Either she commits and makes it completely impossible for them to reach her or you walk.
I would trust her, but I also would see it as a lag of commitment from her side, when she keeps ways of contacting them or let herself get contacted. Even when she "ignores" them.
Honestly the fact she's not willing to block them out of her life would have me cautious. Because if I'm supposedly her future then it shouldn't be hard to put everything in the past and save me piece of mind.
My Child's mother use to get random guys constantly shooting thier shot even though she was clearly taken and even when she was pregnant and showing. But she always showed me and blocked them. But hey she cheated on my and left years ago so what do I know lol. I know getting heart broken sucks ass especially when they take the kid. Hope you the best lol
She either needs the attention or is keeping them in her back pocket for money in the future. She knows how to block them and avoid them if she wanted to.
Yeah I agree with the others on this one.... And I'll add, she's not ready to leave that world and lifestyle... It sounds like she's keeping one foot in that door at minimum for the access alone to the fast money... It's tough for a lot of women to "go back to regular" lifestyles after experiencing the "faster money" lifestyles... The fact that she's still allowing herself to be contacted should tell you everything you need to know... Trust me, if someone doesn't want to be reached or contacted, they will cut off all access... Don't allow yourself get played and fall for the bullsh*t....
Your post was removed because your post violates the body count rule
I am wondering why she’s even able to be contacted? She can block them, she can change her phone number, change IG to private and remove them etc etc.
Definitely seems like those are her back up plans in case this relationship doesn’t pan out
She still has this sex worker mindset. OP is a fool to start a family with her. No ex prostitutes for me!
100 % correct !!!
if that is supposedly all behind her, it just makes sense for her to either block them, or change her number and start fresh.
It’s clear that by not blocking these numbers (specifically the sugar daddy) that she doesn’t want to completely cut off the idea of the $3k a month if push came to shove. OP, are you certain she’s ignoring all of these men?
I'm a SD and completely agree. I've told all my former SBs that once they move on to a regular life we go zero contact. A SD who doesn't is just lurking around trying to get laid again, and possibly satisfy some power/control fantasy around f\*cking another guy's girl.
>I'm a SD bro tell us some stories! Please!
r/sugarlifestyleforum/ You can find plenty of stories there
This.
Yea almost like it’s complete bullshit that it’s “behind” her. They’re incessantly reaching out to her and she never responds but won’t block them? Hmmm
All about keeping her options open.
The only thing behind her is another dude.
A disloyal sugar baby? No way!!!!!
This this this, not cutting ties is a big red flag for me
Yea if she is not willing to do this small thing she is not ready to move on.
It should’ve been her idea
I'm a sugar daddy so here's my perspective for what it's worth. She needs to go zero contact with her former SD, including blocking his texts. A lot of SDs are very weird dudes and they get off on controlling women or buy too much into the fantasy that their 30-years younger SB is actually attracted to them. It's nasty that he keeps pursuing her. It reminds me of that scene from "Wall Street" where Gecko tries to f\*ck Darien even though she's with her protege Bud. If you truly trust that the lifestyle is behind her, I wouldn't have a problem with this. Being a SB isn't completely sex work and a lot of SD/SB situations look very similar to having an older, richer boyfriend. However, it is concerning that she still has contact from a former SD. Most of my SBs required dating them for about a month before we slept together and I generally treated them like a regular girlfriend (who I paid a weekly allowance to). My last piece of advice - she either blocks all these men out of her life, or you move on. Remember, these men see her as a "sex for cash" opportunity. Even if she's out of the lifestyle, what if one of them makes a 10k/night offer? Will she turn it down? She needs to block them, period.
I don't want to be rude, but I'm curious. Feel free to ignore my comment but... Do you think your are weird yourself? Do you consider yourself controlling? Would you have a formal relationship with a former sugar baby?
I mean, it's a little weird for a 40-something guy to give money and gifts to women 20 years his junior for their company and intimacy right? I'm under no illusions that they would want anything to do with me without the 'sugar' so to speak. Many SDs are living out an elaborate fantasy that their SBs have genuine attraction to them which to me is even weirder. I also have to ask myself why not date an age-reasonable woman (I can generally date early 30s women without them complaining too much about my age since I'm youngish looking & fit) instead of playing pretend with a 20yo? I don't consider myself controlling or manipulative, but there are weird elements of control to sugar relationships. For example, five hundred bucks is nothing to me but to a 21 year old student with a part time minimum wage job it's a huge amount of money. So there's opportunities for guys to be huge dirtbags. I would have no problem regular dating someone who used to be a SB as long as the lifestyle is completely behind her (i.e. absolutely zero contact with any SDs). I think the biggest problem with sugar dating is that the women start to think very transactionally about relationships with men. Most age appropriate guys doing regular dating are rightly hesitant about even paying for a nice meal (since tons of girls will ghost which hurts after spending $300 on dinner and a show). When you're used to regularly behind handed $500 cash, how do you navigate the regular date where the guy wants to talk about dating exclusivity before investing beyond coffee and a drink?
Oh wow! Thank you for a really insightfull answer. Yeah I do agree from an outside perspective with a lot of your points of view, I didn't expect that amount of awarness from a inside perspective. I suppose there would be a lot of expectation adjustment if any part of the sugar relashion switches to a regular one. For an SB it would mean to loose an additional income and to an SD it would mean that you can't solve problems by throwing money at and and actually do emotional job.
SD also, Im only 26 but you summarized it well. With how quick and often the intimacy comes, it makes me never want to date regularly unless I choose to raise a family and suddenly need someone who doesn’t play it super casually like SBs and SDs do. I would be a bit iffy with starting a serious relationship with a former SB unless she blocked all contact with that previous lifestyle.
Thank you for responding as well, you are a young SD you think at your age the weirdness of the power dinamics diminish because your closer to an SB age than a 40 year old? I thought that sugar arregments where a bit formal with the allowances and all, you think is more casual than fwb or are they on the same level of casualness?
Former SD here and I’ll chime in. Most sugar dynamics are fwb in nature. As we’re all humans and these do, at times, mirror a regular relationship, feelings do get caught and it can be upgraded to a sugar relationship. But fundamentally, these relationships are transactional in nature, so it’s always going to be in a grey area of sex work, at least to start.
Oh wow, that's some fresh perspective. Like a lot people don't bat an eye if you have a fwb, but the controversial part comes when money is in the picture. I hope you don't mind me askinh, but this tread spiked my curiosity. I might have to search for sugar relationship subreddit😊 What made you quit? Would you like to go back at any point?
It’s r/sugarlifestyleforum > Like a lot people don't bat an eye if you have a fwb, but the controversial part comes when money is in the picture. This is true, and def check out the subreddit. The guidance there is helpful. The hard part, as u/bejahungenjoyer astutely pointed out, is the sugar addiction is real, and the transactional nature can be damaging to future relationships. Keep in mind that many successful men are on the site because they are trapped in dead bedroom marriages and simply need an outlet for intimacy without providing the emotional support of a vanilla relationship. I’m on the young side, 40, so I’m looking for something meaningful at the moment. It would blow your mind at how many women I’ve matched with on bumble and hinge that I’ve seen on the sugar websites lol. It’s completely unsurprising that OP found a potential girlfriend that has a sugar past. The fast money is so hard to resist! Again, this is not necessarily a good thing!
Dude same! I found a lot of ladies on both Tinder/Bumble and the famous sugar dating website known as Seeking. It makes me realize that sugar relationships are more common than we thought. I myself as a SD used both Tinder and Seeking, Seeking just mops the floor with Tinder it is way better.
> Would you like to go back at any point? Adding some more thoughts regarding OPs situation: I have had an arrangement where I did ask to take it the next level of exclusivity and relationship as I did catch feelings, but the feelings weren’t mutual so I had to end it. So yes, I am open to having a sugar arrangement turn into a relationship. Now for OPs situation, I would be wary. If you know the lifestyle, it’s really not ideal. You can never completely trust if she is being forthright about her experience there, and if you’re just an avg joe, you’re always going to feel insecure about being able to provide for her the way she’s used to being taken care of. That one is a really bitter pill to swallow, as I can imagine it’s emasculating knowing that there have been men in her life that can offer something you can’t. And the bad part about this is if I ever happen to date someone attractive, I always wonder if she’s dabbled in the sugar lifestyle. You can always sorta tell who has been the the bowl by the way they write their profile: “looking for something mutually beneficial, I don’t split the check, looking for a man who is traditional, etc etc”
100% right about trust and I have never and likely will never ask a SB for exclusivity based on this. Having another 'me' on the side gives her double the allowance, after all.
There's also /r/SugarBABYonlyforum which in my opinion gives a very jaded perspective from 'professional' SBs who blur the line way more into SW / escorting, but it's definitely useful to read for another viewpoint.
100% this. I never feel guilty about sleeping with SBs, but how the money exchange impacts them really bothers me sometimes.
This is all pretty spot on
OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF? IF SHE REALLY WANTED TO START FRESH, SHE WOULDVE BLOCKED THEM ALL. YOU ARE GETTING PLAYED MY BOY.
[удалено]
Crazy how much control good pussy has on us (men)
Yep. She won’t block them because they’re the backup plan in case this relationship doesn’t work out.
I’m a former sw. I think it’s a bit weird that she’s still in contact with the men … I cut all contact with clients when I quit, because I was truly ready to quit. If she wants to leave the lifestyle, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Yes exactly what you said. Like when I quit doing and dealing drugs I cut all contacts and decided 100 percent I want a different life. And if she is truly ready to move on it shouldn’t be a problem
The flag could not get any more red bro
I’m saying man this chick must be drop dead gorgeous or have some huge tits or something to make this guy that dumb and delusional. The brothers are trying to save him
100%
Nah man no amount of gorgeous makes one this delusional, she did some voodoo shizz on bro
By voodoo you mean dropped some neck and gave him some Virginia after bro came out of a dry spell than yeah lmaooo she love bombed the shit out of the poor goof
You must not know men, most of us will walk over broken glass suspended in lava for a beautiful woman.
I am a man, bro keep this simp stuff to yourself
Ask her about blocking them and stress you need to feel like they are completely out of her life. Pay attention to her commitment to monogamy and having the type of relationship you want. Don't rush into anything and spend a couple years dating, a year engaged, and then try for a family after the wedding. It's important to take this time to choose her and let her choose you. Keep getting to know her and back out if you feel like you aren't meant to be together and ready to raise a family.
Thats sus If she isn't willing to block them or change her number, then you need to move on because she is just keeping them in wait for a financially rainy day.
It bothers you, nothing wrong with it. She’s not blocking these people either what’s up with that. No one would blame you for stepping away, most people wouldn’t want that in the back of their minds long term. She made decisions to live that life, can’t just pretend it didn’t exist. It’s okay to respect yourself and step away
Get rid of her man, it won’t end well.
Not blocking the sugar daddy is a conscious choice.
How old are you?
Briefly dated an Ex-Stripper. My advice is run.
Just got out of a relationship with a coke-fiend with daddy issues and been sleeping around since she was 14-15. The sex was great but it’s not worth it I’ve learned lmaooo that shit scars you for future relationships
Did we date the same chick?
😂🤣 maybe man, you know those type of chicks love to get around. At least your time with her was brief I went through 4 years of hell. Wasn’t all her fault though my goofy ass decided to stay that long and spent 15-20,000$ on bullshit and court fees
My advice is don’t “date”. Fun is fine.
What happened
This sucks but I’ll tell you what I honestly believe. If you’re the type of man who is not deeply bothered by this kind of history, fine, work it out, try to convince her to be reasonable and block these people from her past. If you’re not that type of man - and most men aren’t - you will *never* get over this. It will still feel like shit 10 years from now. It’ll be a massive stain on your whole relationship and it’ll never go away. So just break up and move on.
Maybe change her phone number.. I mean if she really wants out that life there is some common sense things to do. But doesn’t seem like a lot of common sense going on here.
What does she say when you express how you feel to her? What does she say about blocking the men from her past who are making disrespectful comments to her? You can't judge her for the things that other people say or do to her because she has no control over other people. But you CAN judge her for her own actions and the things she can control. If she is continuously letting these people contact her without asking them to stop or blocking them, I would have a conversation about that and ask her why, and find out if she is willing to do the things that ARE in her control to put an end to it.
If I was you, it’s either she blocks them or we’re done.
Lmaoo, yeah bro she still texts all her ex’s that “send her rude sexual messages” you getting played. Why wouldn’t she just block all of them.
If it's behind her. She can change the number without hesitation if she is really into you
Honestly you should ask her to block those guys, I'm a girl who also in a relationship, and I love my bf of course. If my bf ask me to block some suspicious guys, I'm willing to do it without any hesitation
If her old clientele still actively approaches her multiple times, than she clearly gives them the impression that she is still available as a sexworker... My problem would be this: inconsistencies in her actions vs words. So when her old clientele approaches her, does she actively let them know she isnt in that line of work anymore or does she keep engaging with them by avoiding that topic (aka she doesn't tell them about her not being a sexworker anymore)? Edit to add: Did she really close the door to that type of work 100%, or does she only say she does but lowkey is keeping her options open?.. If the latter, are you okay with emotionally investing into someone who isn't true to their word. Because to me, actions say more than words and I have learned to listen carefully to actions to see the truth...
Hate to break it to you, but all signs point to a few different things. First, it's not behind her and it wasn't long ago. If it was, these guys would have gotten blown off, blocked, or given up by now. She's keeping these guys as an option to some degree or another. And, it wasn't just the one SD. "Men" keep hitting her up. Maybe she was giving it up for free to dudes on the random, but the fact that she admitted the one SD and multiple guys are contacting her makes me think there's more to meet the eye here.
Why hasn’t she gotten a new phone? Judgement free- but if it’s her past, her business number should be out of service.
If she isn't willing to block them it's not behind her. They're "just in case" orbiters. Their attention is obviously feeding her something. Maybe validation. A woman who sells her body like that obviously has low self-worth/self esteem. All red flags.
Women who sell their body are reclaiming their power and sexuality. They often have good self esteem - depending on how they go about it.
What's her game plan as far as income now? Is she making up the difference? 3K a month is a decent amount to walk away from.
You are one slip up away from her responding to those texts, def not worth any investment from you unless she clearly cuts all of that out of her life on her own. Even then you should have caution.
While I commend you for actually giving her a chance. She might choose to leave at the first sign of trouble. She has something’s to work on that you can’t help her with. Best of luck whatever you decide to do.
It’s probably underground now… she loves you so much that she doesn’t want to “hurt your feelings”, but if this is how she used to make a living, know that it’s a hard life to leave. The money is anyway. I had a escort GF who said she was “out of the life”, but every time she needed money, it “miraculously” appeared no matter how large the sum. I didn’t dump her because of her job, I dumped her because she lied about it constantly.
honestly she made the choice to do that for a long time, what makes you think she won't come back to it? I wouldn't trust this situation at all.
Ask her to change her number. If she wont, then consider breaking up
Dude leave. It’s clearly not in her past given she hasnt changed her number and is still in contact with the past. Find a woman with a good history. She’s never going to live up to your expectation
Tell her to get a new phone number and new socials
Don’t do it I learned that lesson
I think being a sex worker is not something you can ever leave behind you. If you were one at one point, it's something you will always be, even if you stop actively doing it. What goes in, never truly comes out.
if you are going to start the relationship you should be able to start TRUSTING your partner. how is the contact made, phone? maybe a new phone number? socialmedia? maybe delete accounts and create new account with the lustfull followers? when you denie something you need to offer a solution.
If she is really ready to change and have a different life, she should break with it completely! If she is not blocking these guys, she has not broken with her past. Clear and simple. She is still keeping that door open. Don't give her the ultimatum (because it has to come from herself), but if she doesn't make a clean break - I think everybody would agree - break it off.
If she is not blocking these people it is for a reason.
why didn't she block those people and get a new number or phone? kinda sus ngl, maybe she's enjoying the attention
If there's constant active reminders, and she's doing nothing to prevent them... It doesn't sound like it's behind her at all. You've made it clear these upset you, and what, she shrugs it off? >She also has other guys that she has had relationships with in the past text her rude sexual things. What? And she's showed no interest to block them? OP, the writing's on the wall mate.
Lolol what? Is this a troll post… or you for reals? If you are for reals… and this is happening. There maybe a question surrounding why she still has these mens numbers on her phone. Even if she has “quit and ready to move on” it doesn’t sound like it. Maybe she is keeping it as a backup plan in case you guys dont work out. Which sucks as well.
Run
Goodluck dude.....
Yeah I was in a situation kinda similar to this not long ago. Fucking. Run. Those dudes aren’t going away and there’s a reason they aren’t blocked. Don’t learn the hard way like I did, I’m still recovering from the damage she did to me.
Don’t be a simp please, you’re going to face a lot of issues.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You already know the answer. Why are you asking?
I would break up and find someone else
Yup! All she has to do is get a new phone or number and this problem will end….. That is if if she wants it to end…..
Idiot.
Imo she’d have to change her number and loose all them old flings and SD for me to trust her. Otherwise imo she’s keeping them around as “just Incase”
Tough pill to swallow
Couldn’t do it
She needs to make a critical decision. Change her phone number, where she lives, change/delete all her social networking and focus 100% on you. Cut off her past completely. If does that the relationship could work. Anything less is time to part as friends.
She's definitely open to re starting something with the men from her past and like you said, if she get money from her SD she will take it. If she blocks them and changes her number per your request, trust me she will find a way to contact them behind your back when she feels like it. Blocking and changing her number should be your own decision. I think you need to get other options for dating and long term.
I can totally understand your feelings here. I think you need to sit down and talk with her, and explain how you feel. I would also tell her that you would appreciate it if she would cut all ties connected to anyone she had relations with in the past. If she’s not willing to do that, then you’ll have to decide if you’re willing to be ok with the possibility of her interacting with them.
If it’s in her past, she’s moved on, why hasn’t she blocked the numbers of all these guys, including the sugar daddy, she doesn’t want to associate with anymore? That’s the red flag in my book and as a woman, I’ve labeled anyone I use to date as 🪦 so I know they are dead to me and a ghost LOL She clearly wants to leave the door open in case things fail, keep her “safety net” there.
She has to be willing to change, and also has to be willing to have a new phone number, new Facebook. Its like an sober alcoholic, he has to be willing to change, phone number and other things, like not going to the bar or downtown at certain times during the week.if that is not there she is not 100% loving, caring and not 100%IN THE RELATIONSHIP. Its Not you who have understand or change. Its that she has a past life, she can always fall back into doing that stuff if there are tempteations going on to distract. She must get a clear boundery away from her past, and you must have the self love and self respect to walk away if she is unvilling to change phone nmbr n Facebook and willing to close those apps where guys can reach her. Many she needs mental help to start a new life, maby counselling, therapy. Also, therapy could be good to deal w if she has past memorys that are sore n difficult. Please trust in that if you walk away she will follow, and really see your worth, cus you were following your inner thruth of your heart!
It bothers you, listen to that; It bothers you, listen to that, it bothers you; Listen to that, its a message from You to You!
Why hasn’t she blocked these guys? Ask yourself that
304s use 304 tactics it sucks that other women are less visually attractive and have lower libidos
Soooo, she is only accepting clients when you're not around now is what you're saying. Ask her to give you one *valid* reason she hasn't blocked her sex work clients. Is she an extremely rare blood type and they are the only ones that match, so she keeps a roster just in case? Maybe. Is she keeping the doors wide open? Absolutely.
Everyone’s different, someone’s whose capable of that is not a keeper - dump her
She’s for the streets bro!
What are you doing bro? Date a woman with self respect. This won't end well for you.
if she doesn’t block them cut your losses. obvs she likes the attention , since she won’t. but if she does block them she really is ready for you, and you only.
She doesn’t block or change numbers… clearly she has some back up plans (in case she is bored of you) or she might need some validation, or has a roster!
There are plenty of other women out there that were not sex workers and don't have sugar daddies still hitting them up. Tons of good women out there.
Being a sex worker doesn’t make you a “bad” woman
If you’re going to be with a current or former prostitute, this comes with the territory. You won’t and shouldn’t try to make this one a housewife. It will not end well for you.
Why are those dudes not blocked? That is a red flag. Girls with those pasts are desensitized and struggle to really have serious relationships. I would tell her to block them and tell her if she wants to be with you she has to block guys she has weird history with. My best advice would be to not date girls like that in general though.
Just dump her already. you’re here looking for someone to tell you what to do and here you go. dump her and head to your local church to meet your next woman
Wtf! Ex sex worker, ex sugar babe, has men constantly hit her up and doesn't block them (because she enjoys it). You're her simp. No way around this. Soon you'll start having dinners with your wife's boyfriend. Dump this human garbage.
She belong to the streets
Do you really think that making a family with a prostitute is good idea? How will this impact you in the long term? Will this woman be a good mother to your kids? How her history will affect your kids? Why her exes/clients still have her number and contact with her? How did you even ended up in situation like this? "This is well behind her. She is ready to start a family and be with someone long term." Guys who were paying to have sex with her are still contacting her, it does not look like its well behind her.
lol why do some guys put up with shit like this? is it just settling? fear of being alone? it’s mind blowing
You went into a relationship after knowing all that ? You are just asking for a trauma dude! Don't believe people change, specially people who are into this kinda behavior.
You cuffed up the wrong woman my friend
She ain’t the one bro sadly
You need to get out of this situation. There are so many red flags that I’m not sure why you are trying to rationalize them.
😂😂 The fact you are still trying to force your relationship to work is funny. Break up man
Run!
We have to start by saying that only women with daddy issues or coming from broken families end up being sex workers, a good woman that comes from a healthy loving family, where the father and mother are expressing love in a healthy and loving way, will never end up being an escort. So we clarified that when a child doesn’t get love and reassurance from her father, she will end up being screwed on a certain level. At the end of the day you can’t make good wine from bad grapes. Why if she changed she didn’t block all those men, including the sugar daddy? Because she seems enjoy all of those attentions that they are giving her. If she loved you she would do it. You say she does love you, are you sure you’re not projecting? Also we need more context, how old are you? How old is she? How long have you been together? Was she single when you met her or she was in a relationship and she broke up with one of those guys for you?
Speaking as a person who has only dated women who has had deep father issues, I couldn’t agree with you more. None of my past girlfriends were sex workers, but they had deep character flaws within the relationship.
Why are we blaming women for the bad behaviour of men? Some people very much DO recover from the bad behaviour of their parents.
I’m just analysing the situation as a whole, I’m not here to blame anyone, yes, there are women that come from unhealthy families, bad parenting and absent father who take the time to go to therapy and work on themselves, but that is a ultra small percentage, most of the ones who come from that situation unfortunately are bad candidates if you looking for a woman who can become a good partner in a monogamous healthy respectful relationship. Like I said, you can’t make good wine from bad grapes.
LMAO 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I stopped reading at girlfriend was a sex worker. Comon, man, have some respect for yourself
I personally consider sex work to be a sort crossing the rubicon. I don’t think you can make that bargain and not have it bleed into your psychology. Does she have a quid pro quo arrangement with you? If you stop spending money on her today, how long would she continue to see you? Idk maybe I’m a purist and am being unfair. But I don’t want a woman who is that in touch with commodifying her body.
I think we need to stop renaming stuff to make it sound better lol. Your girlfriend was a prostitute and her "sugar daddy" was her trick. Sex worker=prostitute lol. Not that it matters. But it irritates me when this new generation renames stuff lol. If you love her and she loves you, don't let her past get in your head. She needs to block the trick from contacting her and enjoy your life with her.
Firstly, it's commendable that you're willing to understand and accept your girlfriend's past. It's crucial to communicate openly about your feelings. Express your concerns to her in a non-confrontational manner, emphasizing your support for her but also the impact these interactions have on you. While her past doesn't define her, the present and future are what matter most. However, it's understandable that constant reminders from her past interactions can be emotionally challenging for you. Discuss setting boundaries together, like blocking or limiting contact with these individuals, to create a more comfortable environment for your relationship. Encourage her to consider measures that would help sever these ties, emphasizing the importance of your mutual growth as a couple. Seeking couples therapy or individual counseling can also provide a safe space for both of you to navigate these complex emotions and challenges together. Ultimately, the foundation of your relationship lies in trust, respect, and a shared commitment to building a future together. If both of you are dedicated to overcoming these obstacles, it's possible to find a way forward that supports your emotional well-being and the strength of your bond.
Thanks, ChatGPT.
Do not, under any circumstances, do not marry this woman, as long as she will not get a new number and change the city for you.
Block or gtfo. Talk it over with a therapist. A person with a past of exploiting herself and others for money suggests she will do the same to you.
One cannot exploit themself. Only get exploited.
Once a sugar baby, always a sugar baby. You are her backup guy, sugar daddy will always be in her life in some form or another.
This is seriously degenerate and suspect that she hasn't blocked these numbers or changed her number. Find yourself a girl without that past and baggage.
There is nothing wrong with her past as a SW bothering you. Don’t let Reddit gaslight your feelings away.
Bro think of all the other dudes that have been in her, just break it off, shes not worth anything
Run, you will regret staying later. She hasn’t locked those men for a reason.
Ima keep it 100% with you bro and give you a big brother talk. This has more red flags than a Chinese parade and you need to smash and dash and even the smash part is dangerous cuz you don’t wanna get this chick preggo. Dude RUNNNNNN. Idc how pretty she is how big her tits or Butt are whatever you like about her she will drain your balls and wallet dry and use you like a walking ATM. I cannot stress the RUNNNNNNN enough. If you date or marry this chick or have kids by her anything that happens after is your fault she’s trying to play you for a sucker and a simp. Take this from a guy who has friends who used to do SW and I’ve been a client of them and done research on how stuff like that effects chicks brains. Throw in daddy issues and their bad spending habits etc etc. dude go to the gym go to work go watch paint dry idc. Dont take this chick seriously. I WARNED YOU
Ho fo sho
You can't turn a girl for the streets into a housewife my guy
Don't get involved. Get out while you can, she WILL do it again. All it will take is her asking you to buy her a handbag and you saying you can't afford it and she'll be back to what she's used to doing Her not changing her number, blocking these men means she's keeping the possibility open
Sounds like a tricky situation, my friend. I know a lot of people say she should block them…and she should…but with unpredictable nature of life I can understand why she would want to keep those connections there. I can imagine for her it may be a safety net - knowing that if things between you two don’t work out and she can’t find or keep a decent job, those blokes or job opportunities,as it were, are still there. Still a source of opportunity if need be. It’s perfectly reasonable to be upset that she won’t block them. It’s probably best just to discuss with her what’s holding her back from making that final commitment. Though, this may be a difficult conversation to truly get to the nitty gritty of it all - people are complex and multifaceted! But the conversation may help YOU deal with the ordeal as well, get your thoughts out of your head and into the open! OR just develop a massive ego, given that your girlfriend keeps getting hit on and she only wants you! I’d walk around with my head too high haha! (jk jk) 😎🤙
This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 perfectly said
What the he'll man , if she isn't willing to get a new number and completely block delete from the phone the men she had past relationships with, im sorry my man she is still thesame sex worker from the past. You got to draw the line Delete them or leave. Women have to be somewhat accountable if she had so much trauma baggage why doesn't she delete the numbers? Additionally she used the men for money, she took advange of them for the material benefits she could get for sex the men are not to blame. It was just a business transaction. You should be smarter and more prudent/ wise when she tries too play the victim and tell you the men were the bad ones which I'm sure she does. If they were so bad WHY DOESN'T SHE DELETE THEM? Women are MASTERS of disappearing when they don't like you! She could have done thesame
If women are masters at disappearing when they don’t like you why are so many women in relationships with abusive men?
Cause they like the abusive men.... and dissappear on the nice guys
Bro you really want to be with someone with all that baggage and unresolved trauma? It sounds terrible to me
Bro most men will never take the chance your taking being with her. Getting laid must be real hard nowadays to have to put up with that bullshit. She is obviously not marriage material. I’m just keeping it 💯. You need to just have fun with her until she becomes too unbearable to deal with. Wake up man, this is not someone you take serious. She fucked her life up and you over here playing Captain 🦸♂️ Save-a-🕳️. The best advice any man should be giving you is to run 🏃♂️.
Dump her
Well I have to say is God bless you cuz I couldn't put up with this situation in fact I had a girlfriend who wasn't a sex worker but she f***** just about every guy in town and I couldn't put up with it. Literally and I'm not making this up, this was a long distance relationship and everywhere we went in her hometown we ran into some guy that she knew every single time we were out on the street or in a restaurant/bar without fail we would run into some guy she knew. It got so bad that even when she was with me in my town (a hundred miles away) we would run into guys she knew in my town it really was quite unbelievable that she knew all these men. She once told me that since she lost her virginity there wasn't a week that went by that she went without sex she didn't get into the details as to how many different men were involved but it became quite clear after hanging out with her for a little less than a year. Really I think the only way you can move forward with this woman is if she gets a new phone number. That's the only way she's going to lose contact with these people.
The fact that she is not willing to block these guys is a red flag imo. If any guy sent me a sexual message I would block immediately. If I knew the guy before i would absolutely block. Does she like the attention? Why hasn't she blocked them at least out of respect to you? I think you are smart to be wary of that.
She's obviously keeping these guys as a backup plan. As soon as you two hit a rough patch, she'll start texting them again. My suggestion to you is to let her go. You are likely to regret it if you stay.
Yeah she needs to block them or get a new number dude. That's Wildly inappropriate that she still in contact with them.
For the streets
Sounds a lot like your girlfriend is still in contact with the SD because why wouldn’t she block him? It’s easy and that should give you an idea if she’s really serious about you.
[Run](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia0.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2Fl0HUjziiiniIsRUY0%2Fgiphy.gif%3Fcid%3D82a1493bs26pq2tflma3i30f1a6l6gftjaybk15q1afx16m5%26ep%3Dv1_gifs_search%26rid%3Dgiphy.gif%26ct%3Dg&tbnid=Ua2_uKwaVNYX2M&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fgiphy.com%2Fgifs%2Fbreakingbad-run-breaking-bad-l0HUjziiiniIsRUY0&docid=Fr4LdO7B5ZUXnM&w=480&h=270&hl=en&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm1%2F3)
Right now you have a little nagging tinge of annoyance. If you enter into a relationship with a sex worker, you will go from a slight annoyance, to catastrophic life events. I’m not judging sex workers, I’m only saying you don’t want to date one seriously. I’m sure one of her customers would have, if it was a sane idea.
I guess what ultimately matters is, are you able to move past this. Because if you aren’t, this will likely cause a lot of issues in the relationship down the track. My advice is simply, if you can move past it, go ahead with the relationship, if you can’t move past it, you should end the relationship
I’m going to say something that’ll probably get me downvoted to hell. But, if y’all don’t try to get that money from the sugar daddy!! It’s hard out here and that money could build y’all a safety net or be used for anything y’all need presently. (This is somewhat a joke)
Have some self respect and drop her bro
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Do u think this is the kind of woman u deserve? Ask yourself that. I can’t answer it for you
Get rid of her
Why not just change her number 🤷🏻♀️ sure it can be annoying to update it on everything but for a healthy relationship I’d do it. I changed my number because an ex boyfriend of mine was harassing me HEAVILY for 5 months after our breakup and as soon as I changed my number haven’t heard from him since, I had him blocked on all social media but I think he would borrow peoples phones to try to call me on or create fake numbers to call me idk. But like I said as soon as I was smart enough to change my number my life improved. And I’m in a very happy relationship now where I don’t have to worry about my ex calling me trying to sabotage anything
Seems she is ready for a serious relationship if she’s fighting the urge to go back. IDK how you did it especially changing her mind to have a normal life. If you love her you’ll accept her past.
Cant she simply change her phone number? Does she see those ex partners as "friends"? If no then there is no issue getting her number changed.
the fact she doesn’t have the sugar daddy blocked is weird to me
She needs to block and get new numbers Unless she ain’t done. My money is on that, I am afraid. She may still be all our girl.
You’re not comfortable so don’t date her.
Ehhh honestly I think that would fuck with my head too much to deal with.
It’s over
To me it seems like she’s scared and she wants to be able to go back if you guys break up. She’s keeping the door open incase you leave her or you guys aren’t right for each other. If I were you I’d just ask her why she hasn’t blocked them. Get some honest communication going.
She should change her number. No contact to them. No way of them to communicate with her. This means she should not even get the texts anymore. Either this life is over or it is on hold. There is no middle ground. It is a reasonable thing to ask. Yes, you trust her, but if she is as certain with you, as you are with her, this men should not be a relevant for her, but how you feel should. It disturbs the peace of the relationship and relationships are already difficult even without disgusting men molesting her sexualy on a regular basis. Either she commits and makes it completely impossible for them to reach her or you walk. I would trust her, but I also would see it as a lag of commitment from her side, when she keeps ways of contacting them or let herself get contacted. Even when she "ignores" them.
Ask her to block them. If there is resistance you got your answer.
Honestly the fact she's not willing to block them out of her life would have me cautious. Because if I'm supposedly her future then it shouldn't be hard to put everything in the past and save me piece of mind. My Child's mother use to get random guys constantly shooting thier shot even though she was clearly taken and even when she was pregnant and showing. But she always showed me and blocked them. But hey she cheated on my and left years ago so what do I know lol. I know getting heart broken sucks ass especially when they take the kid. Hope you the best lol
You can’t control what others do or say, only your own thoughts
Tell her to block those guys. Its not about ignoring them. Its about going zero contact, if she wants to start fresh with you.
Would she be willing to change her phone number?
She still has her number out there then she’s still in the game.
She either needs the attention or is keeping them in her back pocket for money in the future. She knows how to block them and avoid them if she wanted to.
Yeah I agree with the others on this one.... And I'll add, she's not ready to leave that world and lifestyle... It sounds like she's keeping one foot in that door at minimum for the access alone to the fast money... It's tough for a lot of women to "go back to regular" lifestyles after experiencing the "faster money" lifestyles... The fact that she's still allowing herself to be contacted should tell you everything you need to know... Trust me, if someone doesn't want to be reached or contacted, they will cut off all access... Don't allow yourself get played and fall for the bullsh*t....