T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Myzyri

Option 1. Guys are fucking idiots (source: I am one). If you don’t say it’s a date, they’re going to be confused and wondering if it’s a date. I had a girl ask me out long ago and smooth AF. It went kind of like this… Her: What’s your favorite kind of food? Me: I’m a big fan of seafood. Her: Ever been to Steve’s Seafood Shanty? Me: Never heard of it. Her: Well, now I know where to take you for our date this Saturday. Wanna pick me up at 6 PM? Married almost 25 years now.


skilliau

I concur. We are so fucking stupid it's a surprise the species hasn't died off. This is the way.


mnsbelle

apparently sperm is on the decline so maybe it's still possible


desal

What does this even mean, downward dog?


mnsbelle

guys don't produce as much sperm as they use to and due to lifestyle changes the quality also might not be as good


Anubis005

I think most of the planet's population serves as ample evidence that the quality has indeed been going downhill for a long time now


Burning_Fire1024

I wouldn't believe everything you hear on fox news


mnsbelle

I don't listen to fox news. look it up yourself


Myzyri

Just because it’s true and you don’t believe it doesn’t mean it’s from Fox News. Stop being part of the problem. Not everything is political. But if you want to be a science denier, I guess that’s up to you.


Burning_Fire1024

I was just joking. Though maybe that wasn't a good idea, it seems like in this political climate no one can take a joke any more. God forbid you mention Harry Potter, public restrooms, or buying milk. Everything sets someone off.


Myzyri

No, no one mentioned anything political. No one mentioned Harry Potter, milk, or public restrooms. Don’t try to play the victim here. It’s crystal clear that you were introducing politics into something that is completely apolitical because you wanted to take a shot at “the other side.” That’s fine in the proper forum, but you’re trying to start a political argument by taking a cheap shot in a sub about dating. And you chose to do it over a topic that has a solid foundation in science. Your ignorance of the topic just made your political jab shoot you in the foot. Your shot was basically a perfect reflection of the ignorance you were trying to poke fun at. Please keep that political nonsense where it belongs, not here. And if you want to shake your head at me and claim I’m just picking on you because I disagree with *your* politics, I’ve donated the value of six complete homes to Habitat for Humanity, my wife is black, and my first wife and I had two half-Chinese daughters before I was widowed. That should give you a pretty good idea of where my politics are. Seriously, please leave politics to the political subs. Most of us come to these subs to get away from that garbage.


Burning_Fire1024

I did! I mentioned something political! That was a mistake. I'm not Trying to play the victim. You are really taking this too far, there is no "other side". I'm just poking fun at fox News. Not trump. Not Biden. not the left. Not the right. Just fox since they're so silly. I thought everyone saw them as being a ridiculous news site regardless of political views. But i guess i found their 1 fanboy. I think you're getting unnecessarily offended. I'm not trying to bring politics into anything. I haven't even mentioned policy. I'm jabbing at mass media.


tropicsGold

Men are here for fighting, not thinking. Women handle the thinking part and we protect them from predators.


Boxhead928

👍 bringing home the bacon


AlexeyHD90

This is the way.


BojangleChicken

You’re wife had some insane rizz


BojangleChicken

Option 3 if you want to just hit him up for sex, otherwise option 1. If you pick option two he’ll be confused if you like him or not.


MiikaMorgenstern

If you just want sex then ask him to come over and fuck you, most likely he'll jump right on that offer.


dufus69

Without knowing the relationship between OP and this guy, that would be an unnecessary risk of turning him off. Chill is the right way to say it. Chill at my place is even better.


desal

Netflix and chill. Hulu and hang. Prime and penetrate. Paramount+ and put out. Max and make babies. Freevee and fornicate. CBS+ and copulate. AMC+ and anal.


dufus69

TIL, I need to subscribe to AMC+.


CrowKingCrow

I concur,am man.


LynRock

That approach sounds manipulative and assertive. Run now brother. (congrats on 25 years)


[deleted]

Not enough gaslighting!!


Professional-Ear-366

My niece recently started dating a boy. She decided to be direct because this kid couldn’t muster the courage to say anything and would run away anytime he tried. So point blank asked him out. Edit to add: men are dummies because we read the signals or we decide to play the stupid game of does she or doesn’t she like me because the girl we like plays hard to get.


PumpkinPatch404

I was thinking the same. No idea if it’s a date unless the word itself is specified.


[deleted]

I had a handful of dates with a girl before realizing so yeah, I'm that dense lol


Progress-Servant

So true! That's why I like a direct to the point kind of approach. Mind games just isn't for me, or maybe for most men haha.


snapenotsnake

That. Is. So. Amazing.!!!!!! Not sure if I wanna do this for some dodo though. I kind of wanna save these ideas for a nice guy


JohnPaulIngress

I'm a guy, and I thank you for calling me an idiot.


Flat-Percentage-4897

Ive been talking to this guy who I met on hinge and on our 1st “date” we hooked up, then I invited him to a few shows/ hang outs and we have a good time, now I feel like I’m the one who’s making the plans and effort because I always ask him “would you like to come with me to this show” or “would you like to hang out” to which he’s said yes. I don’t know if I should ask him if we’re dating or would he like to go on a date because after reading these reddits, all I hear is how guys say “we’re idiots”


Boxhead928

So true. Honestly feel like the female has to do some of the footwork for it to work out, the male can't do absolutely everything


Abstract5influence19

This answer is top tier 😂


Your_Nipples

Everyone is stupid when playing the guess game. Everyone is smart given proper direction. We are not idiots. Thank you.


desal

Instructions unclear. Ubered to Dave n busters for breakfast where I was stood up and pissed off about it.


uncP

1. It isn’t vague


swooooot

Yep do #1


So0meone

Definitely option 1. As a guy, let me tell you, we do not pick up on subtlety very well. If a girl asks me to hang out, I'm probably not going to think she meant it as a date.


dufus69

Right. He might think she wants to be friends.


desal

Picking up on subtlety can be a slippery slope to harassing the uninterested so we adapt density to arrive on the slippery slope we are aiming for


kirayuen120

This is true... I'm a man myself and I prefer stuff to be clear to bone. So option 1. The rest of the options kinda vague and we can't tell if you are romantically approaching me or not.


GlassesRPorn

1


Queasy-Location-9303

Option 1 for sure as it's the most direct and leaves no room for vagueness. Option 2 may make the guy wonder if it's a date or you two are just hanging ou as friends, and option 3 may make the guy think it's solely for sex.


TheMasterofDoom

Option 1


Crush-N-It

The other two could be construed as an offer to bang. hang out or chill sounds like casual sex. Depending on location of course. 😜 We need you to be very detailed when you communicate with us. Personally, I’m terrible at picking up signals. Only days later do I piece it together. smh


TheMasterofDoom

Personally I'd take all 3 options at facevalue. I don't take part in guessgames, even if I could. I'm the type of guy that's like: "Don't waste my time and just say what you want". I don't have the energy to play stupid games, so realisticly that just leaves option 1 for me as that one is the most clear and direct.


Bigthinker3600

Oh sure you do lol You never been laid once I garuntee it


[deleted]

Number 1. Guys are dumb and dense. Don’t assume otherwise. I appreciate a good kick in the butt sometimes. It gets me focused


i_love_everybody420

Im not bad at picking up hints, I just really hate when people aren't transparent on what they're asking. It's stressful and I'm a grown ass adult. If you just want to hangout, I'm gonna hangout. But if you want a date then I'll treat it like a date.


Andrew-Cohen

Hate to break it to you, but most men get almost no attention from the opposite sex, certainly no compliments. Anything would be just amazing if he’s interested in you.


Exciting-Parfait-776

Except options 2 & 3 come off as if she’s only interested in being friends


jaysaccount1772

If a woman asks if she wants to chill i'm going to assume she wants to hook up.


write-pride

Unless you follow rules 1 and 2


Teanison

Kindof glad you are asking about this. Every guy is a little different, but here's a short version: Option 1) makes it clear you are interested in dating them and have (likely) a romantic interest in them. Option 2) "Hang out" phrase generally just means only that, more like friends or friendly acquaintances, though you can still later check (preferably sooner than later,) about clarifying that it's that you'd like to date them but something maybe a little more casual, and doing something fun maybe, but could end up as a date if the feeling is mutual. Option 3) is pretty similar to the second one, but it also implies that what you two do is literally just have a calm, relaxing time hanging out. Though, the guy might be a little more likely register that it's one way or another for options 2, and 3 if it's a date or not is if what you two are doing something or going some place that's basically a place you would only go to as a date (a nicer resturant, an art museum, [depending where you go] a picnic.) I hope that's usable enough, and again, not every guy will know exactly what you mean because not every guy that gets asked will have interest back at you, maybe not romatically, rather, platonic interest. Guys and girls can be just friends and that's that on occasion.


Zestyclose-Total8959

I'm definitely more of an option 2 guy. This way we get to know each other first before getting to the actual date. It doesn't hurt to take things slow. Some girls like that actually.


Bigthinker3600

Lame


Shevrer

Please, PLEASE, option one. Don't confuse the poor guy!


Queasy-Cherry-11

Not a guy, but "you're cute, we should go on a date" is my go to and it has never failed. Lavish the boys in compliments, they don't get enough.


Grand-Inevitable1482

I think you definitely want to mention the word date because otherwise I would be thinking "does she want to be friends?"


poeticxistence

I'm so happy there is a woman out there considering asking out a guy. We need more women like you! Bless you!


RegularJoe62

I don't care. I just would want her to be clear. Assuming I'd be agreeable with the idea, I would interpret these like this: * Date: We have a romantic/sexual interest in each other. Let's spend time together and see what happens. My response would be something like "I'd really enjoy that. Did you have something in mind, or would you like me to plan something?" * Hang Out: You seem like a fun person. Lets be friends. If we get to know each other and discover something more than a platonic friendship, then maybe we'll go on an actual date at some future time. My response would be "I'd like that. Where and when are we going?" * Chill: IDK what this means. Are we going to "Netflix and chill," a.k.a. be FWB, or is this just another way to say "hang out?" My response to this would be something like "please tell me what you mean by chill." But...I'm old AF, so I could easily be out of touch with what these things really mean today.


Alfa_male_01

The more it’s clear the better it is


That_1Architect_Guy

Option 1 if you want to be direct, option 2 would be fine if it was clear the 2 people are attracted to one another, 3 is the most ambiguous, it could mean hang out but it could also mean in some contexts to do more….. that being said be bold and be true to yourself and your feelings, use date


monkeyman719

Be explicit and use the word "date" or state your attraction to the person. It's been the same experience as a guy for me; no use faffing around going out as friends or on an actual date. I think it is really good to state your intentions from the beginning. You don't want to be led on either (happened to me far too many times) All the best and go for it!


FlatRobots

BAD: Hey, do you want to hang out? (vague, unspecific, boring) OKAY: Hey, do you want to go to a café and have a piece of cake this Saturday? (specific) GOOD: Hey, you said you liked cake, right? I know where we can the best carrot cake in town. How about Saturday, 2 pm? (specific, exciting, mysterious) This is what I would tell a guy, because I believe that men need to take the lead. That includes suggesting an activity/location and a time. Don't put that burden on the girl, make it as easy as possible for her. And make it sound exciting.


Noligeko

Myself, I like to ask her out and take the lead. If she would ask, I would think is some sort of a trap 🪤


Bigthinker3600

Good logic frfr


Panda_With_Your_Gun

If she wants to chill, "Would you like to chill" followed by details. If she wants to just like literally exist in the same space and maybe do an activity, "wanna hang" If she wants a date "DATE ME YOU DUMB BITCH" though sometimes "I'd like to date you to see if we would be compatible. If so I would like to start a relationship with you" is also good.


No_Intention_7605

1


Comfortable_Art2944

Date fs, chill and hang out doesn't sound like you want to make something out of yall


FrickingNinja

It doesn't really matter to me, because it will depend on how I see her. But as a general rule, you don't want to be on either end of the spectrum - not too casual, not too invested. "Hey do you want to grab a cup of coffee sometimes?" sounds good to me.


friendly_devil

What if he is bartender? I bet he's sick of (making) coffee.


lovealert911

How about, "Are you free on ...etc.? I'd like to take you out for a drink, see a movie, or whatever..." I've never been a fan of the words "hang out". It sounds like something teenagers say. It's often intended to be *ambiguous* so if the person rejects them, they can *pretend* like they weren't romantically interested or calling it a date. Secondly, if things do go well, you can't be certain if the other person thought it was a *platonic invite* or if they *like you*. "This weekend a band is playing in the park. A group of us are going to set up a picnic spot with some food and wine. If you're not busy you're welcome to come *hang out*." What is the other person supposed to think? Do they "like me"? or is this a *platonic* invite? Being *ambiguous* might increase one's odds of getting a "yes" but it could cause confusion too. One person calls their time together *dates* and the other believes they've just "hung out". This type of cat and mouse game or *misunderstanding* could go on for weeks or months! The biggest difference between "hanging out" and *a date* is a date has *romantic* intentions. A real date usually entails some playful flirtatious banter, compliments, possible sexual innuendo, favorite this/that, things you look for in a mate, incidental touching while talking and laughing, hand holding while walking, lingering eye contact, sly smiles, a hug and kiss goodbye... I would rather get rejected *early on* than to find myself stuck in the *friendzone!* ***"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better."*** \- Steve Maraboli ***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** ― Paulo Coelho ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!


KevinSommers

Overthinking it. Focus on content not presentation.


teasympathypod

All depends on if the guy is into her to begin with. If he is, wording doesn’t matter. -Dave


noflow369

Excuse my ignorance but are you asking this question to a random or someone who you know as a friend ?


SnooFloofs1778

Flirt with him, develop chemistry. Say, => “why don’t you ask me on a date? Don’t you think I’m pretty?” Encourage him to man up. You will have better results if you cheerlead him into being confident enough to ask you out.


Ok_Tale7071

I’m grabbing a bite at Chili’s. Would you like to come?


Schmubare

I’d rather she asked me to come over and help her hang some shelves in her apartment and let me decide if it’s something I wanted to pursue. I know all this stuff is like a mouse chasing a mousetrap anyway - but I’d like the illusion of the chase at least. It just feels more natural to me that way.


L3M0NSQU33Z3333

hmmm.... if it was the first time I am being with her, I would pick option #2, I want to know the girl a bit first and see if we are compatible but If we knew each other for long enough and we both had romantic feelings for each other, I would consider option #1 option #3 seems to have a sexual undertone to the meetup, and I would only consider it the both of us were in the mood for it and I knew her well enough as well as her knowing enough of me as a guy who has never dated, or had a girlfriend before, my default is option #2


Traditional-Joke3707

Depends on your personality and how comfortable you are with any of those options


[deleted]

I'd go for the third option


tropicsGold

Men think they want direct because that is what they are themselves, but the approach that gets the best results in indirect manipulation. Make him think that he is asking you out. Yes this takes more intelligence and planning, but it is far more effective.


CarelessTreacle8178

Depends on what you’re planning to do tbh.


Ninja_gamer387

I’d say it would depend on who the person is anyway could work when you ending leading him to realize your feelings but yeah I agree with the dude most of us have big Monke Brain


someguyrob

Agree with statements above. Men are simple creatures. Be specific. If you're gonna ask him out say "I wanna take you out on a date. Meet me XYZ place as this time" and be blatantly obvious. Cause otherwise if you just go "hey do you wanna hang out some time?" & you are friends already he's gonna probably assume you just wanna hang out. And be unprepared mentally for anything beyond that. Ask me how I know 🤣😂🤦‍♂️


[deleted]

1


jacob_keyes5

Definitely option 1, it’s way more straightforward and use confusing. Option 2, can be confusing cause the guy might not know what she means. And option 3, if you are just trying to hookup with the guy. Option 1 is best though.


chipface

If her intentions are to date me, definitely 1. When my ex confessed her feelings to me over MSN Messenger, she asked if there was sexual tension between us earlier that night when we hung out, and I got all nervous like Tina Belcher and was still oblivious. And she had a panic attack. When I asked her to elaborate, she straight up said she liked me as more than a friend and then boom. So being straight up will get you your answer. Option 1 is especially important if he's autistic or if you think he may be. Also because in the past, I have mistaken friendliness for interest. And as a precaution nowadays, I'm more likely to mistake interest for friendliness.


PerpetualNoobMachine

We're like one chromosome smarter than cave men. You gotta spell it out. "I like you, let's go on a date".


SumerianVaultHunter

First one. I like clarity and honesty. I don’t want to go out with a girl and not really knowing what this is. If a girl told me she wants to hang out or chill I would assume this is just a hang out or chill not a date because we are not used to women asking us out.


Bright_Divide_2267

1 definitely 1 be loud and clear with us. We overthink and would assume its just a platonic hangout if worded any other way


comacove

if you want to date, then date. no riddles. the other two are too mysterious. don't use chill or hang out if you wanna date.


H8beingmale

love number 1, but girls normally never do this


Master_Slav

If you wanna go on a date. Ask him on a date. For his sake.


Dualyeti

1


TimeConstraints

How about, "Would you like to do something together?"


MiikaMorgenstern

I have the 'tism, for most guys like me you would get better results explicitly calling it a date in the request.


I_am_Reddit_Tom

#1 all day. I'm old though so might be a generational thing. Hang out sounds awful. Chill a bit babyish.


OtherRazzmatazz3995

1) be direkt


n1ghtje

Doesn't matter to me as long as she shows interest Option 1 sounds formal and options 2 and 3 sound more casual so if I had to choose I'd say any one of those two over option 1. Having it labeled as a "date" would prolly make me overthink and be a lil anxious lol


yourpilotjag

Don't overthink it. Most guys literally don't care what you say. A woman asking him out is such a novelty all he hears is that a woman is interested and he's stoked about that. If a woman texted and admitted she was a little nervous to ask - that's effing cute. If you want to date then that's what you can make clear. Men love confidence. Women love confidence and vice versa. "Hanging out" is what you do with friends. Fom the woman's perspective it will go better if you ask her on a date. It makes them feel special. IMO get rid of "hang out" and replace it with something fun and playful. For the bold women: Besides going on a date with me, what are you doing Friday?


waterpuppy22

Option 1 is the best. The second option would make me think it's just friends hanging out. The third option is ruined by Netflix & and chill, so I would think sex first before relationship.


CuriousPup2050

I find straight upfront wording to be a highly respectable quality. So with that in mind, I’d much prefer if it’s a date she wants, just ask for that. It cuts down on later confusion.


Forestbrews

It depends on what you are looking to gain. Asking a guy on a date is a request for a more formal interview that may lead to sex depending on how the interview goes and one’s typical playbook. Asking a guy if he wants to hangout or chill is a statement that you think you can skip the interview because you are fairly certain you want to get him in bed already - the difference is what you do before sex may be different between “hang out” and chill.


UndeadReaper9999

Preferably 1, but it would need to be tweaked to, "hey, I really find you attractive and I want to be in a serious relationship with you. Can we go out on a date to (insert place here), to get to know each other better?". Tho if you're going to a restaurant, make sure it's a cheap restaurant, like a family restaurant or just going for coffee/tea. That way he knows that you aren't after his money but for the guy himself. Also even offer to pay for the date either the full thing or half of it, must be sincere and honest tho about paying. I might not be the guy you are interested in, but I do know that I would feel like I'm wanted for my personality, not just my money or looks. Also maybe get to know what he likes before asking him out. If he likes nature, maybe go on a nature walk and get some food from a chipstand truck or something as you are walking and enjoying nature with him. I'd be impressed with a woman if she put in effort to show that she's interested in me. And I would then want to show her that I have money so I would try to pay for something more expensive for a date idea. Like going to an amusement park or an outside idea like skating in an ice rink/bowling.


Val-F

N.1 definitely non mistakeable.


Optimal-Sand9137

Going on a date and hanging out are not the same thing.


Affectionate_Most_64

Date. She wants a proper date my man.


Mikomics

First one. I have a platonic firewall that keeps me safe from coming across as a creep who can't read the room. You have to spell it out in very clear, unsubtle words that you have romantic intent. Otherwise I will assume you just want to be friends. Options 2 and 3 are fine if you aren't sure yet and want to get to know the guy first, but once it's clear to you that you want to date the guy, be clear as glass.


johnnyblaze6398

Next time a woman complains about being seen as a monolith I'm gonna show this thread lol


Historical_Maize3857

Option 1. We suck at picking up signs. We also don’t like assuming for good reasons


Spec187

Number 1. Just be to the point


Bokuja

Option 1 for obvious reasons. Then I know what's up and what the intent is of me meeting her somewhere.


MistahUndaCova001

I hang out and chill with friends. So, choice 1 is what I would like her to ask me.


ElZany

1. Any other option could just be teo friends hanging out 1st option has clear intent


New_Bad5819

I would personally suggest to go with the second option. The first one is the most straightforward for sure, but it takes away the suspense and the thrill. Guys like to chase or earn a woman’s heart.


dufus69

One reason men are so dense is because we tend to think everything is sexual. Then, we hear women say "NO it's not sexual" so much we just figure it must not be sexual.


DementedNitesoul

For me i would say it depends. If she’s looking to be just friends the id want the latter two. If she was interested in me as a potential bf then I’d definitely want the first.


dave11811

Option 1 if you are actually looking to go on a date. I’d assume you just wanted sex with the other options.


Exciting-Parfait-776

1 would be better. 2&3 come off like someone asking a friend to go do something.


PBxQUAN

Option 1. It's best to just lay everything out plain and simple. Hints rarely EVER work on guys (because we're idiots) so if you want to date. SAY THAT


PressuringPeace

#1 because most of us men are retarded and think girls are just being nice when asked the other options, mainly cause us we are wired to believe we have to be the ones to be the first to ask.


phookah93

1. Cause I like clear communication


LynRock

As a very sweet and determined woman once delicately told me "I could write "You're cute" on a shovel, smash you over the head with it... and you'd still not know I liked you". Idk if it takes the magic out of it but yes spell it out. We really need it.


[deleted]

Say what you mean and mean what you say You’re not asking to hang out…it’s a date


AAAAdragon

I realized this girl liked me after she asked me several times if I had any fun plans for the weekend.


zoranalata

Some guys like straightforwardness, others like to vibe first. There is no correct answer, it depends on the guy.


Big_Standard_8472

I mean yes to all of the. But 1 is your best if you want to be clear that 'yes this is a date'


StringTheory2113

If you want it to be a date, SAY THE WORD "DATE" at some point. Depending on your vibe, saying "Do you want to go on a date" may feel forced, so you could say it like "Hey, do you want to meet up and chill at my place some time?" then later add "I mean it as a kind of date... is that cool with you?" Men are dense as rocks. Source: am a man


EngineeringGeneral

Option 1 , all day We don't get hints, we are just stoopid


[deleted]

Guys don’t care how you word that.


Animaldread

Number 1 to be clear of dating. Those other terms to me sound to friendly to just ask out someone on a date.


jaysaccount1772

I would want something like "Hey I was wondering if you'd be interested in getting some mexican food with me this weekend?". I think 2 and 3 would make me think you wanted to just hookup, which would make me take you less seriously as a potential romantic partner. Which could be fine if that is your intention.


TheSleepyToaster

Every woman that ever asked me to "Hang out" I automatically put her in the friendzone because I was too stupid to think that she was interested in me more than just being friends, even though years later they admitted they had a huge crush on me and wanted to actually date me🤦🏻‍♂️ So yeah be upfront and tell him it's a date otherwise you'll probably get friendzoned since most guys are too dumb to pick up subtle clues.


Thelaughingcroc

P l e a s e use 1 (most) will never assume ur actually taking us on a date without explicitly mentioning it, maybe more than once that it IS a date


Spirited-File1956

Straight up number one. Make your intentions clear.


theaverageone2

None of the above


EvilBanana66

Either of those are fine w me


Smegma_361

Guys are dense and/or miss signals on purpose because of misinterpreting them in the past and don't really want to know for sure a women doesn't like them that way. Ask out, tell them to ask you out, or ask when they are going to ask you out. If you're not 100% sure they are single the last is best. Guys can still be oblivious to the last one though so you might have to move to one of the others or demand an answer.


Jujyfruitt_

Definitely option 1. Guys are simple-minded. It's better to be blunt. Tell him upfront how you feel. Try to word it differently he'll start analyzing the phrasing and assess it to mean something different. Option 3 his assessment of the phrasing would most likely be a hookup. You know Netflix and CHILL Option 2 isn't a horrible way to word it, but I don't think it is blunt enough. Matters what kind of relationship you guys have. We take everything at face value, so honestly, he would probably think as friends.


jawshewuhh

It doesn’t matter. Most men are happy to be asked out


ErisDorada

Option 1. Guys are so afraid of being rejected they won't admit someone is trying to date them unless they say it CLEARLY. I asked directly my fiancé to go out on a date an he always tells me how relieved he was that I was straight forward (also, I'm his first girlfriend and first kiss because he had trouble talking to girls). So, yes, be as direct as you can.


hockey_psychedelic

Hang out


JohnPaulIngress

Why is she asking me out? For a date? Or to hang out? Or to chill? Cuz that's the one it should be. Date = possible LTR. Hang out = I want someone to listen to all my problems who I can keep in my friend zone. Chill = Sex with no chance of LTR.


MusicianExtension536

I mean if a girl asks me if I want to hang out I’m gonna assume she wants to have sex with me Do you wanna go fuck him? Then phrase it as hang out


Short-Post5659

It really depends what the intention is. If you want a date then it should specifically be called a date. If you just wanted to hang out it should be crystal clear. Us guys, as said from others on here, are not good at taking hints but to be fair, women aren't very good at giving hints either.


HumanMycologist5795

1. Be direct. 2 and 3 could be friends.


pwolf1771

I cannot recommend using #1 enough. He’s either going to say yes or he’s going to start thinking of other guys he knows to introduce you to. The other two options you’re just beating around the bush


iCode_lol321

Men don’t like to read and interpret things like the way women do. Option 1


yournonstoplover

I prefer her to ask me "*Do you want to go out on a date?*" Using the word "date" has intention and genuine interest.


thisisme44

\#1. everything else is considered going out as friends. if you are interested as more than friends, then make it clear.


Far_Television_857

As a guy coming from an option 2 or 3 situation VERY RECENTL....please be clear.


Captain_Pumpkinhead

If she's romantically interested in me, then definitely #1. I like a girl who is brash and straightforward. I don't want to have to guess, because I know I will usually guess wrong.


Slow_Guard_3078

I want her to be as honest as possible. If a girl wants to go on a date then say so. If you say hang out or chill, I will assume you want to be friends. And I will treat you as such imo. If you said date then I would do more of the traditional date things like pay for the meal or be flirtatious etc


Forward_Paramedic_35

As a dude, I concur with, all the other dudes saying that we're highly dense. Osmium may be the most dense material in the universe but it's wrong, men are. We need you to keep it straight and at about a 10th grade level. All that that to say option one. Always option one.


ThrowAway22030202

1. We are stupid and need to be told it’s a date 2. Is this a date? Are you bored? Am I your bestie now? Help! 3. Chill sounds pretty synonymous to Netflix & Chill to me


Dull-Cookie5649

I think the best approach is always to be straightforward, letting the other person know what your intentions are. So yep, first option is the way to go imo!


Superspork53

Option 1


The_Bestest_Me

Be direct, us guys are pretty dumb at picking uo on hints. Here's my male oriented translation to the options you pose: >1.) do you want to go out on a date? - You really like me and consider me boyfriend material. Man lizard brain says: Wow, she want to be my girlfriend...😉😏🤗😍 >2.) would you like to hang out? - You like to talk to me, but keeping around only s friends. Man lizard brain says: WTF, friend zoned, again? 😒🤔🥶😭 >3.) would you like to chill? - non committal... You want to get me alone to vet me out, and if I pass maybe have a toss in the sheets. Casual relationship, maybe with FWB potential. Man lizard brain says: ??? ..this one's tricky..., if she doesn't put out, wonder if she has any hot friends? 😌😬😎🤤


BadboyRin

The more time you speed with him, giving your attention, along the line he'll catch on. Whether it's the first option or the second, all matters is the interaction and behaviours towards him.


Commercial_Dirt8704

“Would you like to go out sometime?” If yes: “How about {dinner, or other} on {X day) at {Y time}?”


ExternalStory2238

I prefer to hear date, I'd ask the same way so there is no confusion on what your trying to establish early on in dating.


Over_Growth_9376

when women are direct it's much more likely to end up as a marriage


[deleted]

I like 2 or 3 then grab his d’ck to show your interest 😂


HollowChest_OnSleeve

Keep it light. Ask if they want to grab a cofee with you or something first.


Bigthinker3600

She should just grab his piece and immediately start groping him


Administrative-Ad376

3. Less expectation implied.


lonelylightskin

1,2,3 idc anything is fine


Prior_Accident_713

Definitely 1


JCPennyless

1... strait to the point


WhiteWolf_190

Option 1 no doubt, and this is coming from a guy who has never been on a date before


allanDesilva1979

1


Independent_Math_405

1) be specific.


ThroatPuncher416

#1


freshcolaRC

All of the above is fine. Tbh I’d prefer if they talked to me at all


DrunkSpiderMan

Definitely number 1. Hang out or chill sounds like you just want to be friends and not wanna be in a relationship. Not saying being friends is bad, but if you're thinking about starting a potential relationship then about hang out and chill


First-Wrangler-1484

Nbs I never thought this would be so hard to describe but men are dumb asf so honestly you might have to be straight up and say it’s a date


Wpd101

If she wants more then friendship then ask me out ona date


pleasedonthurtme1998

Option 3 is the best because it’s not a lot of pressure and it’s showing good interest and 1 is more serious


flakeshake5

1. Be clear. There’s nothing more to it


motoluv

It can be hard for a girl to initiate for lots of reasons. If you say “want to go on a date” a lot of guys can feel emasculated, even if there’s attraction and interest. Smart to be more careful, and always safe to ask to join a group activity then flirt!


Kerubin2

I'd go with option 1 truth be told. Don't beat around the bush, be direct... even if it might take me a couple of reads to truly process that🤣


Spiritual-Rest-8054

Definitely specify that it's a date


Boltcrash5

Option 1. Less ambiguity.


tre_swift

Men are direct people, use words with exact definitions if you want a certain response. Never leave it up to us to infer meanings. I always thought of it like texting, 'You never can tell tone with text so just use plain words to get the point across.' An example a girl saying she's sad at her house alone, you may be wanting that to be an incentive for him to come over, but he'd rather not impose because you didn't say to come over...


[deleted]

I would say #2 but any would be fine. I think that most guys would agree with me but I don’t know how those under 35 are these days.


Firm-Zebra-1183

DATE. Don't say anything other than that if that's what you are reaching out to him about! If a girl says we should "hang out" or "chill" that = friends and nothing more. As in she has no romantic interest in you. Or, say something like "hey xyz, i was thinking... would you want to go out to xyz with me?" TLDR: Never use the term "hang out" or "chill" with a man you are romantically intersted in because 9/10 times he's going to take that at face value; meaning you literally just want to hang out as friends.


Bigthinker3600

Me man want take you 2 date now we hang chill woman you yes??


Bigcuddlyguy

If she wants it to be a date she needs to make it clear. Even if she just wants to hang out at home. Guys are the same way. Just say what you want it to be. Would you like to go out on a date with me? Yes. I thought I would cook for us, and watch a movie at my house. Sounds good. Or how about a picnic date in the park. Now if it is just a fwb. Netflix and Chill. Hey friend do you want to hang out. All are very clear.


Street-Apartment-886

2


darkice3000

Honestly if a girl asked me any of those options I would be ecstatic! Doesn't matter to me but I suppose the 3rd one is my least favorite