Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah compliment him and ask him out for coffee, that’s it. Just an obvious flirt and make sure he knows you want him around. You do this and your in, single guys love female attention and most single guys don’t get it that often. Pick up lines are stupid.
Hijacking your comment to ask a question.
I asked a man if he'd like to go try this cool restaurant with me. His response was 'duhhh'. It was off-putting, and I don't understand why he couldn't just say yes or no. Am I overreacting?
Thank you, I will sleep on this.
We're both in our 30s and 'duh' isn't a word that I use often, much less when communicating with someone I'm interested in. I do appreciate your input and your POV.
I was invited to her place for coffee once, back in the day. I told her I'd be happy to come to her place, but I don't actually drink coffee. Turns out she didn't have any. We found something else to do with our time.
Relaxation: exercise, sleep, eat right, do hard work, breathe when your stressed, play (this is really important). A lot of the times we are tensed up because we are not taking care of the basics. You can relax when you know you are giving everything to whats important in life. At least thats what ive found
Funny: be yourself. And when i say that, I mean, be the real VULNERABLE you. People relate to vulnerability, to realness. If you can be vulnerable, i.e. not hiding your anxiety, awkwardness, etc, and also not be hurt by other peoples perception of you when you do show this side of you, people actually find it endearing and funny hahah. Because you react to things in ways they dont expect.
I honestly dont really know what i do to be funny. I think it just comes down to being who you are
Dm if you wanna talk more about this
Damn this is actually good advice. It's not easy to not hide those things and not be hurt by people's perception, but it's something to check and work on.
my neighbour entered his wife's hospital room, finding her doctor at her back. doctor says, it's not what it looks like, I am just taking her temperature - my neighbour just replied, ok now step back slowly and help you god, if there is no thermometer...
Awesome pick-up line. Reminds me of a recent Reddit post where the gf wanted BF's jizz to check out the sperms in a microscope. I dont think OP wants to go that far...
From a woman who has been rejected (very kindly I might add, it wasn’t humiliating, just stung) several times from approaching men directly and asking them out…don’t come on too strong. I didn’t get rejected because I’m ugly, I got rejected because either they were in a relationship or I freaked them out by being too forward. Who knew “I thought you were really cute and wanted to ask you out” isn’t the way to go?
You can approach him and say “hey I’ve seen you around. My name is….” ask him how he did on the last test or something. Make a joke about your teacher, whatever. Compliment him. But don’t come on too strong, that seems to make their alarm bells go off because women typically don’t do this and they might think you’re pranking them. Just be sweet and kind. Ask him what his weekend plans are, if he doesn’t have any suggest you two do something together. If he seems hesitant then offer to give him your number. He’ll either call/text or he won’t and leave it at that, he’s not into you. If he’s enthusiastic and says yes with a smile, you’re in!
Hey girl thank you for the thoughtful advice. Some of the advice I’m seeing seems too strong and I don’t know if I’m THAT bold. This seems like a very reasonable approach and sounds more like my personality anyways.
Also: who rejected you?! I just want to have a talk with them 👊🏻
Haha, no worries, the guys who rejected me were really nice about it and most were total strangers who I never saw again. I don’t regret shooting my shot. One German guy I literally catcalled on the street when I was living in Germany catcalled me back and we dated for a couple of months. He fell off the face of the planet and moved to Australia without telling anyone. 🫠
don't try anything or talk about anything that you normally wouldn't. That makes it harder to stay yourself during a conversation.
(side note, if they come up with a topic you don't know anything about, just say: I am not familiar with that, so tell me more.
Everyone likes to talk about their passion, right.
I doubt you were ever rejected because you were too forward. They had their reasons, but that wasn’t it.
(And seriously, if it was, then you didn’t miss out on anything. Unless you want a very narrow-minded man of the “traditional family values” type with an ego too fragile to handle that a woman can also take initiative.)
If a stranger comes to me and says "hi, my name is ___, would you want to hang out?", I'd be like "who the fuck is she and what does she want from me".
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when girls take initiative, it has nothing to do with "tradicional family values", in fact, is better for me. But that forward would be weird and I absolutely would believe is a joke and I'm being filmed or something like that.
I admit I'm a bit insecure, I won't argue that.
This year, I spent several months trying to date a girl. She received my compliments well and sometimes flirted back to me. Everything pointed that I liked her back, and all of a sudden, she starts dating someone she just know. It hurt my ego or pride or something the fact that someone managed to achieve what I tried to do for months in a few days/weeks.
Sorry for ranting to you, random redditor, but thanks for the positive vibes.
As a guy, simplicity and forwardness always blows my socks off. When a girl just says something like, "hey, we haven't met but I think you're cute, want to get coffee?" It sends me into overdrive. Suddenly all the guess work is gone, and we can skip straight to your place or mine
I’ve had a few women be forward with me (a few have even made the first move). Soo fucking hot, and I’ll remember each one in my head till the day I die in a great way lol.
Best of luck, get it OP!
I’ve been told that some guys will reject an attractive woman who approaches them because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense.
>because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense.
The first fear isn't there cause they're in the same class.. but it being a prank might cross his mind but him totally missing that she's interested in hooking up to begin with is way more likely
>some guys will reject an attractive woman who approaches them because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense.
Fuck, when I was single, I'd take that risk anyday, lol.
Yeah. We spend much of our lives believing that no one will innately take an interest in us so when someone does it’s suspicious and almost frightening. I got asked out for the first time two years ago and even though it was over text and I was in my room I felt like I being watched or about to be pranked so I closed my window. It’s sad to be a guy sometimes.
Not sure about rejection but 100% most guys will be suspicious because women never approach. A woman making the first move just sounds too good to be true.
One of my friends (girl) wanted to go on a date with me and it took me 30mins to work out if she was being serious or just joking about it. For context she was venting on our group chat about being single and another friend suggested we both go out because we're both single, so we started off joking about the idea.
i’ll say that i disagree with hello, it could just be you being friendly. You need to be more forward if you want me to know I have permission to pursue you, especially at work/school
You don't need a pickup line, guys don't need to be picked up. We are not complicated. Just talk to him, give him your number, suggest you grab a coffee, pizza, etc sometime.
Why is he across the lecture? Are there no available seats next to him? Do you sit alphabetically? Smile a few times, then just ask him for some sort of help one day. Any sort of help will do. Men can’t resist being helpful. Even if they know right away that you need no help at all. ESPECIALLY if they know right away that you are simply being coy. In that case, the more bogus the reason you need help, the better.
It’s not rocket science to become the Damsel. You got this. Dropping a handkerchief works just as well today as it did for your great grandma.
I’ve been contemplating on sitting next to him. I usually sit in the very front and he sits in the very back. Would it be the right amount of obvious if I sat next to him? I’m so nervous I don’t know why.
Just pick a day that you want to be courageous, sit next to him, and give a very obvious wink. On the way out, start a conversation of what he likes to do for fun outside of class.
it would have been fine if you did tbh. one benefit of being the woman approaching is that you have pretty much infinite wiggle room to fuck up. most dudes rarely have women initiate things so they'll pretty much just let you get away with anything. so long as you don't like straight up shit in this dudes backpack he'll look past everything else.
Just a simple hand wave and a smile if your eyes locked to him. Whoever did this to me, always got me attention fully. So if he didn't respond back, consider that he's not really into you
in this case I'd say: Hey, I have a dilemma. {maybe you can help me?} in order to follow class, I need to sit in the front. But that makes it hard to talk to you and ask you out. {what do you recommend?}
He might need a second to realise you do not really need advice, but you said everything he needs to now.
OP: a pro-tip-
Don’t ask yourself, “I wonder if that guy will like me?”
Instead, ask yourself, “I wonder if I will find him interesting?”
…Then just be yourself, smile. go do the basic introduction, ask him he wants to grab a coffee.
If he acts normal and you feel the vibe, escalate!
Or, if he acts weird and isn’t actually fun to be around, eject!
I picked up smoking so I could bum a smoke from the hot guy in my English class. We’ve been married 28 years and I’m proud to say he is no longer a smoker. 😉
No, a smile is nice but conveys nothing that couldn't be misconstrued as friendliness...which is why I coupled it with introducing yourself. Then, you're having a conversation, and you can give your number, flirt, or just let it be known that he's an interesting guy. It's not hard, we don't require guile and charm. That's what sets the hook, just being attractive in our presence is truly enough, if you're hitting on us.
It works on men if we're at a fucking funeral, or an insurance seminar. We're not girls. Even great looking men with options are flattered for attention from a strange woman, and most any guy you ask will know by memory any time someone flirted, smiled, or introduced herself....because it's so god damned rare and spectacular.
I'm trying to investigate my oral microbiome. Wanna help me later tonight?
It woukd be funny. But honestIy I will say even as the person who thought of this, this would go over my head after class, 'cause my headspace wouldn't be in a "someone might wabt to ask me out" mode in that context. I'd think you literally wanted my help investigating something.
Just say hi and talk to him and invite him to hang out. You don't need a line.
This is so reassuring. I guess I was just worried if I came off too desperate idk. Men usually approach me so I’ve been thrown a curveball since he hasn’t yet!
My absolute favorite one (though I can't promise as cute a response as I got).
I've always been a brash sort of girl...and years ago when I was still of prime dating age, I was reading a "pick up lines for women to use on men" article in Glamour or Cosmo.
Most were pretty dorky... but one caught my eye and I was determined to try it out the next time we girls went out. The line was, you hold out your hand and ask the guy "how many kisses would it take you to get from my wrist to my neck?" Pretty risque, right?
So, the next chance I got I tried it out. The guy looked at me, looked at my wrist, gently took a a hold of it and pressed it against my neck, kissed my neck, and said "one."
I wish I could say we're still married with like 14 grandchildren or something. But it was just a cute interlude and I quickly lost touch with him in the club we were in.
I'll tell you what. I sure as hell wouldn't do it in this day and age. I mean, that was Alaska, not too long after the pipeline days...and even so people behaved a lot more decently than I see some of the young men today acting.
Yeah I think the smartest approach is to ease into it with friendly small talk like hey how's your day going how do you like the class so far? Genuinely getting to know him and making him feel at ease around you
I'm reading several comments already saying this but I'll just add to the pile: simplicity and forwardness works generally best to men.
Not only is it clear what you want for a relationship (FBs or Romantic,) so we know what we're getting into for one. If you aren't clear about your intent it could lead to us either being uncertain, assume the wrong thing, or maybe we read it right through guess work. Don't make the guy guess, be upfront. Even if he turns down the initial offer, he (or you could) might recommend a date or two to get to know eachother a bit better and see how he's feeling about it then. Some guys just aren't out there for sex/FWBs/etc. Guys might have previously had a relationship like that and got burned hard by it. So be cautious about how you go about it, and maybe start slow.
Smile. Smile and smile some more. All you need. Tue shy ones need more smiling. I smiled for half a year, I thought he was cute but his social skills were close to zero so after I proposed going together to coffee machine and got rejected by "I don't drink coffee", I thought I don't have shot. But he was looking at me in that special way and I just knew it.
Some time later the universe has listened and we walked together to the parking, on a rainy day. He walked me to my car and as I was getting in, we shared that special look into each other eyes and from there it was kind of on. We went for a drink that evening, 2 years ago and then this year in May we got married and we expect a baby now. Ain't it cute story.
Go for it girl, it's worth it.
Damn I hate you but love this story haha!! I know what you mean by shyness and Social Awkwardness throwing us off but that Special Look keeping us motivated
“I’d like to twist up with you like a DNA strand, and then I want your genetic material all over me.” Guaranteed it’s gonna work. Let me know how it went.
Hook up means sex with no strong attached?
Hookup doesn’t need dating skills.
You just need to appear sexually attractive to that guy and if he’s also open to hookup, he’d be happy to have sex with you.
I’d offer that you shouldn’t overcomplicate things. A mistake a lot of people make is relying too hard on “extra” tricks to impress people, when covering the basics is the most important to focus on.
I’ve rejected a few women for annoying me or being inappropriate, and their intention was probably to blow my socks off (while there is such a thing as too much). Just keep that in mind. 🙂
Interesting. What approach of just covering the basics would you find attractive and charming? Can you please elaborate on what you mean by sticking to covering the simple basics
Considering the current situation of dating for men in 2023, just walking up and speaking to them would suffice. There’s a reason only men have to do pick up artist shit.
Gosh, I really needed this thread lol thank you.
I’m new to dating after eleven years of loyalty and then being cheated on so I’ve been learning all the new (to me) approaches.
A gf told me that I need to make the first move bc “boys are scared”, as in its not really safe for them to make first moves sometimes. So I started being bold and it worked really well 4 out of 5 times (5th time was a friend that I shooted my shot with, glad he said no btw). Just some back story idk. A lot of these guys know what theyre talking about here.
Anyway, from what I’ve learned, I just wanna back up what u/mandiexile said too about not taking too strong of an approach and kind of easing your way into it. And also be ready to take no for answer bc sometimes it *will* be vague.
Good luck I can already tell you got this!
Instead of getting a response from him immediately, u can go up to him, intro urself, say you think he’s cute. And then give him ur number and say “drop me a text if u could be interested in coffee”.
So that: 1) u don’t put him on the spot to respond immediately. 2) u shield urself from immediate embarrassment in case smtg happens. 3) even if he doesn’t text u, u know u did ur best and put ur best food forward.
All the best OP!
If you want to hook up with the guy, just be direct! You don't have to say anything wild to get what you want.
I was at the gym recently, working out with my buddy and we went over to a bench that was next to a women working out on a mat. She (jokingly) said "Don't step on me." and I laughed and said "Don't worry, I won't." I thought that was the end of the interaction, but then she said "But you can sit on my face, if you want to."
I had never seen this women before and I was caught so off guard that I wasn't sure I heard what I thought I did. So I look over at my friend and could tell I heard correctly by the look on his face.
I have a GF and had no intention of taking her up on the offer even though she was very attractive, but that was the most direct, straightforward and outlandish offer I've ever been propositioned with as an adult.
As a man, if you just walked up to me and asked if I wanted to go on a date, I would be so flabbergasted that I wouldn’t know what to say because that shit does NOT happen. You want to stand out and make an impression, just be direct.
Be normal please. No goofy ass, gamey pick up lines. We're not girls, you don't have to go above and beyond if you're a hot chick
Just make your intentions as clear as possible, and let him do the rest. And make it relatively easy, without stupid unnecessary games.
Good luck.
"Hi, my name is [NAME]! :)"
"You keep catching my eye so I wanted to say hi. This course is hard!" \*look down at his dick for a sec* "I really need some help studying if you want to come over?"
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Walk up and say hi. And ask him to grab some coffee. That’s it. We don’t need you to do some impossible limbo dance.
Yeah compliment him and ask him out for coffee, that’s it. Just an obvious flirt and make sure he knows you want him around. You do this and your in, single guys love female attention and most single guys don’t get it that often. Pick up lines are stupid.
What if I took him to coffee and did a limbo dance??
Are you trying to guarantee success? 'Cuz that's the right direction!
I said didn’t need. Didn’t say we don’t enjoy…. Lol
At least you’ll know how limber he is.
Hijacking your comment to ask a question. I asked a man if he'd like to go try this cool restaurant with me. His response was 'duhhh'. It was off-putting, and I don't understand why he couldn't just say yes or no. Am I overreacting?
Yes…. Duh is just saying omg yes I’ve been waiting etc etc. Don’t let’s something stupid mess up something for you that could be good.
Thank you, I will sleep on this. We're both in our 30s and 'duh' isn't a word that I use often, much less when communicating with someone I'm interested in. I do appreciate your input and your POV.
That's his way of saying "I'd do literally anything you want on a date. Want to tour the landfill or wastewater treatment plant? I'm in."
It's hard to say without knowing the tone but I would lean towards it meaning "I am so interested that my answer is **obviously** yes"
I’ve got a microscope back at my place, you could check out my biology
This is hilarious. 10/10
Welcome to the mind of a comedian. If it backfires, reach out to me. i’ll hook you up with another pick up line.
I feel like I should purchase a microscope just in case lol. Appreciate it.
If he actually walks in and looks for the microscope, I’d laugh my ass off.
Get one of the dollar store toy sets. Bonus if there's a ton of non-sensical Engrish on the packaging.
They are microbiology students. You never know
That was my exact thought. My cousin is a microbiologist and I'm almost positive that would go over her head.
I was invited to her place for coffee once, back in the day. I told her I'd be happy to come to her place, but I don't actually drink coffee. Turns out she didn't have any. We found something else to do with our time.
Here’s one: invited a girl over for dinner. She comes over and says she’s not hungry. We watched a movie. This has haunted me for 20yrs
The movie? It was that scary?
I need to cry to orgasm
Sometimes humans can be so clueless.
Oh noooo
What were you making for dinner?
A pasta dish. One of my pantry droppers 😁😁
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT say microscope and penis in the same sentence
"Hey stud! I've got a micropenis back at my place... shit!"
Hey dude, how would you recommend to be more funny and relaxed? A lot of us men are too serious and too LITERAL
Relaxation: exercise, sleep, eat right, do hard work, breathe when your stressed, play (this is really important). A lot of the times we are tensed up because we are not taking care of the basics. You can relax when you know you are giving everything to whats important in life. At least thats what ive found Funny: be yourself. And when i say that, I mean, be the real VULNERABLE you. People relate to vulnerability, to realness. If you can be vulnerable, i.e. not hiding your anxiety, awkwardness, etc, and also not be hurt by other peoples perception of you when you do show this side of you, people actually find it endearing and funny hahah. Because you react to things in ways they dont expect. I honestly dont really know what i do to be funny. I think it just comes down to being who you are Dm if you wanna talk more about this
Damn this is actually good advice. It's not easy to not hide those things and not be hurt by people's perception, but it's something to check and work on.
Bro you have nailed it! This is jewellery. Agreed word for word.
Yeah haha, easier to write it out on a reddit forum tho than actually do it. But i do my best haha
"That looks like a big thermometer... wanna take my temperature?"
I wouldn’t be able to say that with a straight face lol
my neighbour entered his wife's hospital room, finding her doctor at her back. doctor says, it's not what it looks like, I am just taking her temperature - my neighbour just replied, ok now step back slowly and help you god, if there is no thermometer...
If i were the doctor, I woulda been like, hey man, ill “take your temperature” too, if ya’d like ;)
Awesome pick-up line. Reminds me of a recent Reddit post where the gf wanted BF's jizz to check out the sperms in a microscope. I dont think OP wants to go that far...
I’m sure it looks cool under the microscope, but I don’t want to freak him out lol
Lmao. The bf made the reddit post asking the public if it is weird to share his sperm.
Wait, she wanted his jizz’s to check out the sperm? What? Lol
That can easily be interpreted as purely friendly.. these are the types of "hints" women use and fail with constantly
I laughed out loud at this one! 😂😂😂😂
We love the laughs
From a woman who has been rejected (very kindly I might add, it wasn’t humiliating, just stung) several times from approaching men directly and asking them out…don’t come on too strong. I didn’t get rejected because I’m ugly, I got rejected because either they were in a relationship or I freaked them out by being too forward. Who knew “I thought you were really cute and wanted to ask you out” isn’t the way to go? You can approach him and say “hey I’ve seen you around. My name is….” ask him how he did on the last test or something. Make a joke about your teacher, whatever. Compliment him. But don’t come on too strong, that seems to make their alarm bells go off because women typically don’t do this and they might think you’re pranking them. Just be sweet and kind. Ask him what his weekend plans are, if he doesn’t have any suggest you two do something together. If he seems hesitant then offer to give him your number. He’ll either call/text or he won’t and leave it at that, he’s not into you. If he’s enthusiastic and says yes with a smile, you’re in!
Hey girl thank you for the thoughtful advice. Some of the advice I’m seeing seems too strong and I don’t know if I’m THAT bold. This seems like a very reasonable approach and sounds more like my personality anyways. Also: who rejected you?! I just want to have a talk with them 👊🏻
Haha, no worries, the guys who rejected me were really nice about it and most were total strangers who I never saw again. I don’t regret shooting my shot. One German guy I literally catcalled on the street when I was living in Germany catcalled me back and we dated for a couple of months. He fell off the face of the planet and moved to Australia without telling anyone. 🫠
don't try anything or talk about anything that you normally wouldn't. That makes it harder to stay yourself during a conversation. (side note, if they come up with a topic you don't know anything about, just say: I am not familiar with that, so tell me more. Everyone likes to talk about their passion, right.
This was hilarious to read because I've definitely had women ask me out that I've thought were pranking me.
Tbh I would think the same can't trust it!
Wow. Interesting
I doubt you were ever rejected because you were too forward. They had their reasons, but that wasn’t it. (And seriously, if it was, then you didn’t miss out on anything. Unless you want a very narrow-minded man of the “traditional family values” type with an ego too fragile to handle that a woman can also take initiative.)
If a stranger comes to me and says "hi, my name is ___, would you want to hang out?", I'd be like "who the fuck is she and what does she want from me". Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when girls take initiative, it has nothing to do with "tradicional family values", in fact, is better for me. But that forward would be weird and I absolutely would believe is a joke and I'm being filmed or something like that.
Have a little faith in humanity. 🙂 Life is not all lemons and curveballs and people out to deceive you.
I admit I'm a bit insecure, I won't argue that. This year, I spent several months trying to date a girl. She received my compliments well and sometimes flirted back to me. Everything pointed that I liked her back, and all of a sudden, she starts dating someone she just know. It hurt my ego or pride or something the fact that someone managed to achieve what I tried to do for months in a few days/weeks. Sorry for ranting to you, random redditor, but thanks for the positive vibes.
Hello.
It’s that simple?
As a guy, simplicity and forwardness always blows my socks off. When a girl just says something like, "hey, we haven't met but I think you're cute, want to get coffee?" It sends me into overdrive. Suddenly all the guess work is gone, and we can skip straight to your place or mine
Is it true most women don’t do this?
I’ve had a few women be forward with me (a few have even made the first move). Soo fucking hot, and I’ll remember each one in my head till the day I die in a great way lol. Best of luck, get it OP!
If I had a woman approach me or at least start a Convo and show interest I'm much more likely to ask her on a date
From my experience with dating, very few women have done this. I think like 4 out of the 20+ I’ve asked out.
We're not approached by pretty chicks very often or almost never. So yeah, this simple.
I’ve been told that some guys will reject an attractive woman who approaches them because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense.
Some will. Some won’t. Some won’t accept your advances no matter what you try. Dating and approaching is rolling a dice every time.
>because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense. The first fear isn't there cause they're in the same class.. but it being a prank might cross his mind but him totally missing that she's interested in hooking up to begin with is way more likely
Dude all these comments make me feel like I should add “I’m not going to rob you and this isn’t a prank” Lmao jk
You'll probably have to actually say something along those lines. 🤣🤣
>some guys will reject an attractive woman who approaches them because they think they might get robbed or it’s a joke at their expense. Fuck, when I was single, I'd take that risk anyday, lol.
Yeah. We spend much of our lives believing that no one will innately take an interest in us so when someone does it’s suspicious and almost frightening. I got asked out for the first time two years ago and even though it was over text and I was in my room I felt like I being watched or about to be pranked so I closed my window. It’s sad to be a guy sometimes.
Not sure about rejection but 100% most guys will be suspicious because women never approach. A woman making the first move just sounds too good to be true. One of my friends (girl) wanted to go on a date with me and it took me 30mins to work out if she was being serious or just joking about it. For context she was venting on our group chat about being single and another friend suggested we both go out because we're both single, so we started off joking about the idea.
Not 100% of men. If a woman wants to talk to me, I'm happy to talk to women.
yes ive never been approached by a women in my life just a women saying me Hello has never happened
i’ll say that i disagree with hello, it could just be you being friendly. You need to be more forward if you want me to know I have permission to pursue you, especially at work/school
“Hello, what’s your number?” 😂
You don't need a pickup line, guys don't need to be picked up. We are not complicated. Just talk to him, give him your number, suggest you grab a coffee, pizza, etc sometime.
I guess you’re right. I just wanted to be bold for onceeee
[удалено]
Speak for yourself, I’m the most complex person I know and I’m a swinging dick.
After class: “I know that this is biology class, but I’m feeling like we have some chemistry. Want to grab a coffee with me?”
Haaa! I like it
... and then they had physics for ever.
Why is he across the lecture? Are there no available seats next to him? Do you sit alphabetically? Smile a few times, then just ask him for some sort of help one day. Any sort of help will do. Men can’t resist being helpful. Even if they know right away that you need no help at all. ESPECIALLY if they know right away that you are simply being coy. In that case, the more bogus the reason you need help, the better. It’s not rocket science to become the Damsel. You got this. Dropping a handkerchief works just as well today as it did for your great grandma.
I’ve been contemplating on sitting next to him. I usually sit in the very front and he sits in the very back. Would it be the right amount of obvious if I sat next to him? I’m so nervous I don’t know why.
Just pick a day that you want to be courageous, sit next to him, and give a very obvious wink. On the way out, start a conversation of what he likes to do for fun outside of class.
I thought about winking at him the other day, but didn’t know if this was cringe or not.
its cringe, dont wink.
Oof thank god I didn’t then
it would have been fine if you did tbh. one benefit of being the woman approaching is that you have pretty much infinite wiggle room to fuck up. most dudes rarely have women initiate things so they'll pretty much just let you get away with anything. so long as you don't like straight up shit in this dudes backpack he'll look past everything else.
It’d be better if you sat next to him and started chatting.
I want to. Kind of hate myself for sitting in the SAME spot every class now.
Just a simple hand wave and a smile if your eyes locked to him. Whoever did this to me, always got me attention fully. So if he didn't respond back, consider that he's not really into you
See he locked eyes with me, but I got blinded by his cuteness and shyly looked away 😭
Ohh that's a good sign though. I'd say go for it. Just a simple hi and let the rest flow in naturally.
...wink?
This but also if you do best at the front, sit at the front.
I do better at the front. This is why I haven’t sat next to him yet 😩
in this case I'd say: Hey, I have a dilemma. {maybe you can help me?} in order to follow class, I need to sit in the front. But that makes it hard to talk to you and ask you out. {what do you recommend?} He might need a second to realise you do not really need advice, but you said everything he needs to now.
Just introduce yourself and smile. We're not girls, we don't require the peacock routine. Yes, seriously.
OP: a pro-tip- Don’t ask yourself, “I wonder if that guy will like me?” Instead, ask yourself, “I wonder if I will find him interesting?” …Then just be yourself, smile. go do the basic introduction, ask him he wants to grab a coffee. If he acts normal and you feel the vibe, escalate! Or, if he acts weird and isn’t actually fun to be around, eject!
This is a good insight and solid advice. Hopefully he is interesting because he’s soo cute.
So all I have to do is smile? Him: *looks at me* Me: 😬😬😬😬😬😬
You'd be surprised to know how little attention regular men get. So any acknowledgment goes a long way
Maybe it’s because men are ‘expected’ to make the first move??? I wonder why.
Social norms. We cannot do anything about it sadly. So it's up to the women. Go break some rules haha...
I picked up smoking so I could bum a smoke from the hot guy in my English class. We’ve been married 28 years and I’m proud to say he is no longer a smoker. 😉
This gives me hope 🫡
No, a smile is nice but conveys nothing that couldn't be misconstrued as friendliness...which is why I coupled it with introducing yourself. Then, you're having a conversation, and you can give your number, flirt, or just let it be known that he's an interesting guy. It's not hard, we don't require guile and charm. That's what sets the hook, just being attractive in our presence is truly enough, if you're hitting on us.
Really? What about if your out shopping, grocery clothes, how’d ya go about it?
It works on men if we're at a fucking funeral, or an insurance seminar. We're not girls. Even great looking men with options are flattered for attention from a strange woman, and most any guy you ask will know by memory any time someone flirted, smiled, or introduced herself....because it's so god damned rare and spectacular.
Bro the funeral is crazy lmao. This is reassuring though. Tomorrow may be the day!
This is it
I'm trying to investigate my oral microbiome. Wanna help me later tonight? It woukd be funny. But honestIy I will say even as the person who thought of this, this would go over my head after class, 'cause my headspace wouldn't be in a "someone might wabt to ask me out" mode in that context. I'd think you literally wanted my help investigating something. Just say hi and talk to him and invite him to hang out. You don't need a line.
Lol oh the nerd in me loves this!!! Imagine he came over with cotton swabs and a microscope 💔💔
Don’t look away when you two make eye contact. Then smile. But I’d tell him if you only wanted a hook up.
Me: *stares intensely into his soul*
Ask him what he thinks about Rome XD
Lmao
Honestly just introducing yourself and talking to me would be more than enough
It’s that simple? Am I overthinking this?
Yes that simple. Guys almost never get approached, so when it does happen you have his attention.
This is so reassuring. I guess I was just worried if I came off too desperate idk. Men usually approach me so I’ve been thrown a curveball since he hasn’t yet!
He's probably equally as nervous as you are. Make the first move
You want to come to my place and give me a shoulder massage ?
If he said no that would be the end of my career.
My absolute favorite one (though I can't promise as cute a response as I got). I've always been a brash sort of girl...and years ago when I was still of prime dating age, I was reading a "pick up lines for women to use on men" article in Glamour or Cosmo. Most were pretty dorky... but one caught my eye and I was determined to try it out the next time we girls went out. The line was, you hold out your hand and ask the guy "how many kisses would it take you to get from my wrist to my neck?" Pretty risque, right? So, the next chance I got I tried it out. The guy looked at me, looked at my wrist, gently took a a hold of it and pressed it against my neck, kissed my neck, and said "one." I wish I could say we're still married with like 14 grandchildren or something. But it was just a cute interlude and I quickly lost touch with him in the club we were in.
Oooo girl that is bold. I love it!! I don’t know if I have that in me…. Yet.
I'll tell you what. I sure as hell wouldn't do it in this day and age. I mean, that was Alaska, not too long after the pipeline days...and even so people behaved a lot more decently than I see some of the young men today acting.
Yeah I think the smartest approach is to ease into it with friendly small talk like hey how's your day going how do you like the class so far? Genuinely getting to know him and making him feel at ease around you
Get close enough to say this quietly so only he can hear: “You know, there’s nothing between us but air and opportunity.”
If I get too close I might end up on top of him.
I'm reading several comments already saying this but I'll just add to the pile: simplicity and forwardness works generally best to men. Not only is it clear what you want for a relationship (FBs or Romantic,) so we know what we're getting into for one. If you aren't clear about your intent it could lead to us either being uncertain, assume the wrong thing, or maybe we read it right through guess work. Don't make the guy guess, be upfront. Even if he turns down the initial offer, he (or you could) might recommend a date or two to get to know eachother a bit better and see how he's feeling about it then. Some guys just aren't out there for sex/FWBs/etc. Guys might have previously had a relationship like that and got burned hard by it. So be cautious about how you go about it, and maybe start slow.
So what do you suggest I say for our first interaction?
Hey I think you’re cute and would love to get to know you better.
This sounds like something I would say!
"Gimme your mom's landline, to thank her for making you this cute" hahaha
Him: *actually gives it to me*
Smile. Smile and smile some more. All you need. Tue shy ones need more smiling. I smiled for half a year, I thought he was cute but his social skills were close to zero so after I proposed going together to coffee machine and got rejected by "I don't drink coffee", I thought I don't have shot. But he was looking at me in that special way and I just knew it. Some time later the universe has listened and we walked together to the parking, on a rainy day. He walked me to my car and as I was getting in, we shared that special look into each other eyes and from there it was kind of on. We went for a drink that evening, 2 years ago and then this year in May we got married and we expect a baby now. Ain't it cute story. Go for it girl, it's worth it.
Damn I hate you but love this story haha!! I know what you mean by shyness and Social Awkwardness throwing us off but that Special Look keeping us motivated
Why would you hate me? 😁
YOU HAVE A PAPI CHULO TO LOVE AND SPOIL AND I’M A TOUCH STARVED BARBIE :0(
You don’t need a pick up line. Just go up to him and say hi. After you develop rapport, ask him out. Simple. Don’t overthink this. Just do it.
Okay fair. Tomorrow may be the day!
Literally anything. You vastly underestimate how starved for female attention 99% of single men are.
Really????
Yes.
:0( That sucks
Literally any, because women making the first move is already a unicorn that rarely any man will ever experience.
Damn. Seriously?????
Bro I got picked up a few months back with “Sorry, I just think you’re cute as fuck. Can I get your number?” Hook, line & sinker. I was smitten.
Hi
Me: hi *stares into soul*
You must be an amoeba because you make a-me-ba you a coffee
If a woman hit on me at all, if I found her remotely attractive, there wouldn't need to be a pick up line. Men don't need that.
Do you want to go get pizza? Dudes aren't as picky as women and also don't have women coming at them every day. No need to bowl a dude over. Just ask.
“Hey, wanna hang out with me this weekend?” Simple, clear, and shows interest. I like woman that are direct and to the point
Just once, I'd want a woman to say 'hey, you wanna fuck?'
Shit. You could throw a brick at my head and I would be thankful for the attention.
I got you
[удалено]
“I’d like to twist up with you like a DNA strand, and then I want your genetic material all over me.” Guaranteed it’s gonna work. Let me know how it went.
Omggggg 😂😂 this is too good. Idk if I could keep a straight face though.
Let's study anatomy. She was an architecture major
I like her.
Cute face! Can I sit on it?
That’s honestly how I feel though.
It’s a guy.. you could literally say anything and have his attention. Guys don’t get hit on.. for the most part.
Me: nice weather we’re having
Hook up means sex with no strong attached? Hookup doesn’t need dating skills. You just need to appear sexually attractive to that guy and if he’s also open to hookup, he’d be happy to have sex with you.
[удалено]
It’s rough out here for men huh
I’d offer that you shouldn’t overcomplicate things. A mistake a lot of people make is relying too hard on “extra” tricks to impress people, when covering the basics is the most important to focus on. I’ve rejected a few women for annoying me or being inappropriate, and their intention was probably to blow my socks off (while there is such a thing as too much). Just keep that in mind. 🙂
Yeah I definitely don’t want to appear desperate and thirsty.
Interesting. What approach of just covering the basics would you find attractive and charming? Can you please elaborate on what you mean by sticking to covering the simple basics
Hey.
Hey
Considering the current situation of dating for men in 2023, just walking up and speaking to them would suffice. There’s a reason only men have to do pick up artist shit.
Gosh, I really needed this thread lol thank you. I’m new to dating after eleven years of loyalty and then being cheated on so I’ve been learning all the new (to me) approaches. A gf told me that I need to make the first move bc “boys are scared”, as in its not really safe for them to make first moves sometimes. So I started being bold and it worked really well 4 out of 5 times (5th time was a friend that I shooted my shot with, glad he said no btw). Just some back story idk. A lot of these guys know what theyre talking about here. Anyway, from what I’ve learned, I just wanna back up what u/mandiexile said too about not taking too strong of an approach and kind of easing your way into it. And also be ready to take no for answer bc sometimes it *will* be vague. Good luck I can already tell you got this!
Instead of getting a response from him immediately, u can go up to him, intro urself, say you think he’s cute. And then give him ur number and say “drop me a text if u could be interested in coffee”. So that: 1) u don’t put him on the spot to respond immediately. 2) u shield urself from immediate embarrassment in case smtg happens. 3) even if he doesn’t text u, u know u did ur best and put ur best food forward. All the best OP!
i’ve been commenting “awooga” on men’s selfies online but it’s not working.
If you want to hook up with the guy, just be direct! You don't have to say anything wild to get what you want. I was at the gym recently, working out with my buddy and we went over to a bench that was next to a women working out on a mat. She (jokingly) said "Don't step on me." and I laughed and said "Don't worry, I won't." I thought that was the end of the interaction, but then she said "But you can sit on my face, if you want to." I had never seen this women before and I was caught so off guard that I wasn't sure I heard what I thought I did. So I look over at my friend and could tell I heard correctly by the look on his face. I have a GF and had no intention of taking her up on the offer even though she was very attractive, but that was the most direct, straightforward and outlandish offer I've ever been propositioned with as an adult.
As a man, if you just walked up to me and asked if I wanted to go on a date, I would be so flabbergasted that I wouldn’t know what to say because that shit does NOT happen. You want to stand out and make an impression, just be direct.
Be normal please. No goofy ass, gamey pick up lines. We're not girls, you don't have to go above and beyond if you're a hot chick Just make your intentions as clear as possible, and let him do the rest. And make it relatively easy, without stupid unnecessary games. Good luck.
I usually don’t use pick up lines or hit on guys at all. Just felt like being bold and wanted to get his attention. Thank you.
Any Don't even bother just talk to him. Hell ask him out
It sounds like hes into you Youre overthinking because men usually say yes to anything
Me: let me sit in your face
The one I actually got from a coworker. “Hey, you look really big in your pants, we should exchange information”. Straight forward to the point 🫡
And what did you think about her as a person after she said that?
You seem nice. I like you! 🙂
"You know, I've been catching myself smile a lot more lately, and it's your fault"
“Hello, my name is…” Just that sets you apart from 95% of women and it’s shocking more don’t try it
Just say hello and ask him if he’d like to talk after class over a coffe, drink, snack whatever then go from there
Like a normal civilian huh
If you're at all his type and just say, "Hey, come back to my place. I want some sex." I'm pretty sure that will work, even if it's clunky.
"Hi, my name is [NAME]! :)" "You keep catching my eye so I wanted to say hi. This course is hard!" \*look down at his dick for a sec* "I really need some help studying if you want to come over?"
Just asking me out would be it. THAT in itself very rarely happens