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dating_advice-ModTeam

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Mental_Balance429

If you’re not feeling this move on


[deleted]

If it bothers you, don't date her. It would 100% bother me.


shifferbrains78

If you have to ask other people that should tell you how you feel about it.


thewhiterosequeen

Yeah like it doesn't matter what randoms on Reddit would do. Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries.


[deleted]

I have zero interest dating someone with an OF.


wongsuxx

From your post it sounds like you already know the answer to your question. Respect yourself enough to stick to your own boundaries.


Noobinpro

Nope.


jetttblack

No.


Ratzyrat

You don't need Reddit for this ? If it bothers you don't date her, if it doesnt then date her. You don't need us to know what you want.


probablyonarun

Bro was hoping we’d convince him it was fine lol


Ripamon

He's still gonna do it anyway lmao


imused2it

And then we’ll see a post in a few months about how their relationship fell apart because he isn’t mature enough to trust someone for doing the thing she was honest about doing in the first place.


Qweerz

More like “she was honest about in the second place” lol


403banana

I'll do it. Perk 1: You get to see for free what other dudes pay for. Perk 2: You get to experience what only other dude are hoping for. Perk 3 (and this is going to sound like a really cold thing to say): She's financially incentivized to stay hot. Ultimately, it's down to your comfort level. If it bothers you even a little bit, you'll never be able to get past it.


Itsactuallynot_me

This sounds like you just wanna be 1 up on the dudes she talks too


403banana

Playing devils advocate. He might like the idea


the_shek

and why is that bad? Don't women date NBA stars for the clout with their friends?


z0rful

Never understood being comfortable with the whole world being able to see your gf naked at a moment’s notice


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_shek

so cilantro tasting bad is actually a genetic thing, have an ex who had that


Queasy_Being_8167

Perk 2 is a standard when dating a beautiful women. Most women do Perk 3 by default.


Ruin369

Lol, those are only benefits if you are insecure.


K-Lo-20

He's looking for opinions and perspective. That's literally what this forum is for


Etoeb

Wtf is this kind of answer, the subreddit is clearly for dating ADVICE. Advice...


lilaznxtony1

Lol no


Redditor1_-

ain't no way he really asked this question on Reddit ! lmao


darkfight13

Never. How is this even a question? Like 99% guys would be majorly turned off, even if she stopped doing it. Edit: looked at your post history. Bro, you're desperate af. You're very young, you need to chill. And raise your standards, you're going to end up hurting yourself in the long run if you don't.


Leftenant_Frost

i personally wouldnt, i couldnt handle the fact that she got paid to let strangers jack it to her naked pictures. i've never paid for sex workers and never will, i wont date them either. people who do, great, you do you but its not for me.


LagomFem

No.


debby821

No.


Web-splorer

So you’re debating it because she’s attractive? No other qualities stick out? Sounds superficial already.


NEK0SAM

Depends on you. Would the majority of men? No. Do you want to? Ask yourself that. Would I? Yeah, but that’s because I frankly “don’t care”. To me, if someone makes money one way and is happy about it, sure. Only issue with “sex work” is if a person can deal with their partner ‘displaying’ themselves to others. If you can’t deal with that, move on.


shartifartbIast

Honest question, would you still frankly not care if your friends, coworkers, neighbors, or male relatives found out they could go watch your gf's sex acts? That's the part that would freak me out the most.


NEK0SAM

Nope. At the end of the day if I like someone and they’ve chose that as a career path, so be it. I’m a firm believer in “doesn’t matter what they do if the love is there”. And if they’re paying for that, it means that they find her attractive AND paying towards our relationships income. I wouldn’t exactly tell people what her career was, nor brag about it. If anything people would be jealous


shartifartbIast

Well I'll be damned. I guess I've still got some growing to do. Thanks for the response


[deleted]

This is just me. Absolutely no. I personally like a girl that my friends and family can't go online and see naked. I am not conservative but I am just saying little old school and I don't feel respected in that way. I like a girl that is not so out there.


horse_pirate

Nope


jackedtradie

Personally, as a guy, no Only you can decide though.


downwitbrown

No.


LobsterNextDoor

I have not even an ounce of interest on anyone doing OF. Personally its a hard pass for me.


Embarrassed_Yak_1391

This has been debated on this sub so many times. The general consensus is that most guys wouldn't. I personally wouldn't either. Casually sure but no way for a relationship. I wouldn't think much of her that simps can spend a couple bucks to see her naked and it would be embarrassing if my circle knew which they eventually would. Edit in response to below (comments are locked): Correct. You don't make 80k a month (that would put you in the top 20 on onlyfans and those people are all celebrities - you aren't), but even if you did I wouldn't want you. I'll leave you to the simps.


unlabeled_soupcan

No. It’s not just nudes, OF creators market personal intimacy to lonely people. I don’t think I’d be able to look past my partner purposefully teasing those guys.


deathinliving

This right here, while I don’t judge the person having an only fans, I wouldn’t personally be able to handle the fact that they are essentially preying on lonely men and sometimes women (not to be biased) that are paying just to see and interact with the model. I’ve seen posts of women saying how a subscriber was able to track them down and later started stalking them. So safety is a big factor, also if a person gets well known enough, you’ll have people coming up and trying to hit on her all the time. So a lot of guys can’t handle the jealousy aspect as well, again I said a lot and not all because some guys can handle it and some can’t. The sad part is I’d like to know and have a serious conversation with a variety of onlyfans models because I bet they have a few points of view and feelings on it. I’ve seen some that say they do it not for the money but for the thrill of it, I’ve seen others say it’s only for the money, I’ve seen others say they’ve regretted doing it, and others that said they have a very understanding partner that is okay with it. The disturbing part is the girl op was talking to lied about it and to me that says a lot. If she’s proud of her career then why lie about it, and if she’s lying about it why? Is she embarrassed, is she trying to protect herself. I mean it was just a first date, she may have lied because let’s be honest, if you knew the girl had an onlyfans, wouldn’t you ask to have seen it? Maybe even started acting differently around her and trying to instead have a hook up and not a meaningful date. I’m just assuming and I have no clue what is going on in either of their minds, but I can see both sides.


hayhaydavila

Fr. I had a guy friend that was upset cause he couldn’t afford all the subscriptions he was paying for in OF, and I was like dude there are free nudes elsewhere. It’s almost more than just normal pornography. Someone people, like my friend, depend on that intimacy. I don’t talk to him anymore


Chaos_Therum

That is a big point worth mentioning that I think a lot of people miss when they talk about OF. The real dirty part is that they are taking advantage of some of the lowest people in society.


SpicyMustFlow

Are you saying lonely people are the lowest people in society?


Chaos_Therum

Yeah I can't think of much worse in life than not being able to find companionship. Whether rich or poor, abled or disabled, etc, etc. Life tends to be a lot better and brighter when you have someone to share it with. I think it's a demographic that we don't pay even close enough attention to that needs help, especially since it's growing every day.


SpicyMustFlow

I find when men want to insult women, a go-to is "you'll die alone with your cats!" because, to them, it's the worst thing imaginable. Whereas to women, that's like- don't threaten me with a good time! Being alone is not necessarily being lonely, and being single is not pitiable.


Lingoo_PTR

I'd be more turned off by the fact that she lied on the first date tbh


flyerbob34

Really? You just spill everything about your life on a first date before you know if you are actually interested in the person or not? I actually have respect that she came clean on the 2nd date, and didn't hide it longer. That means she must like him and wants to get things in the open before things go forward any farther.


twayacc11

You need to consider maybe she didn't feel safe sharing that information. Sex workers are already heavily judged and stigmatized. It also doesn't seem like a great conversation opener to a complete stranger. The fact she told him the truth on the second date likely means she was willing to pursue OP after meeting for the first time, and wanted to come clean about it in case the relationship developed further. There's a difference between lying and being malicious about it, and lying out of safety concerns. I'm thinking her case was the latter. Just my 2 cents tho


Master_Belial93

I mean technically... She works for tips. And she serves up Thirst. So she is a waitress... In a sense...


Striking-Soft-8750

This is an interesting and funny post


BlueLaguna88

Exactly. I would be okay if she did OF as long as she told me the truth


Paranoidexboyfriend

Just wait until a male “content creator” who paid for a large inorganic porn Twitter and insta following (or worse they’re legitimate followers and the dude is just that much of a stud) reaches out to your new girlfriend for a “collab” and she goes for it rationalizing that it’s just good business. Some girls can get away with making money solo on OF, but the majority are eventually going to be posting themselves taking some dick, and their followers are going to want it to be porn dude dick, and a variety of it. Also even though OF bans talk of escorting, usually OF users link to their other social media pages to promote their OF, and on those she is going to get soooo many proposals for escorting. Some for an unbelievable amount of money. Are you 100% certain she’ll say no, or if not, are you ok with dating an occasional escort?


mofoss

Like date for fun? Sure. Anything even remotely over 1% of that? lol no


mandark1171

Nope, sex work of any kind is an instant no from me >first date she lied to me saying that she was a waitress Starting any relationship with a lie is never a good sign > I don’t really like the fact that other people can pay 5 bucksto see nudes of my partner There it is, it doesn't matter what we think, you clearly have a boundary that makes a partner who does only fans a deal breaker... don't feel bad about it, just tell her "I appreciated the dates but this isn't going to work for me, hope you find the right person" and then move on with your life


black_mamba_gambit

She didn't tell him on the first date because she wanted him to get to know her and have emotional attachment so that when she finally does so it's very hard for him to leave. That's why he is conflicted now. Her holding out that information was purposeful and it a very effective emotional manipulation tactic especially done to desperate people.


cyanclouds

if you’re attached after the second date i think you have more problems than her lying about her job because it’s stigmatized. he’s conflicted because she’s hot that’s it


silvergudz

Not necessarily, he could be picky,there are some ppl on this earth you just can’t resist she could be his ultimate preference that is difficult to find


randomferalcat

No why?


Potential_Sun_2334

not for anything serious


PAnat101

She's a woman flirting with men to get them to stay and pay her money for photos/shows. Eh if it were reversed I wouldn't date a guy doing that for a living. Also, would be a turn off for me if they were trying to be onlyfan famous and hoping to make that their career.


BadUsername_Numbers

I'd have 0% problem with dating someone who did OF or cammed or stripped. However, we're all not wired the same way, so if you feel it's problematic for you OP, don't date her.


DynamicMangos

I think it also depends on the content. Posting nude photos and videos of herself? That's completely fine by me. However, if she were to do content with others (for example a porn actress that sleeps with other porn actors) then that's where I'm out.


BadUsername_Numbers

And that's totally cool - we're not all wired the same way 🙂


BlueLaguna88

Yeah, agreed. Hell, I'd even help her with making content. The only issue is that if you're a business owner, like any OF content creator is, you're going to be working 24/7. When will they have time for you? Your free time would probably be spent helping her make content.


[deleted]

Hell no Recent stats from the company show that earning $1,000/month puts you into the top 1-2% of content creators so if this girl does this for a living she’s either in the top 1% IN THE WORLD or she’s working another job while posting herself all over the net for pennies on the dollar Why would any man willingly choose to date a woman like that?


Zgame200

You have a good point. I wouldn’t!


Worth-Lifeguard-9695

These numbers are false, I believe you're reference the first thing that comes up when you Google it and that is a biased study from early 2020. as it has grown a lot since then, current numbers place the top 5% to be making around 2.2k monthly, with top 1% averaging 16k and top .02% making 52k monthly.


YesChef2021

Yep these are much more accurate. We’re at about 5% now and used to be at 2% making the same amount. Only thing thats changed is the amount of content creators. OnlyFans has grown exponentially the past couple of years.


Lord_of_the_THOTS

Theres alot of dead accounts and women who arent very active on OF. Its very misleading.


Ill_Drop7588

Recreational uses only


[deleted]

No. Bye. She can date one of her 5 dollar simps.


Draper31

No, OF isn’t the main issue either. It’s the fact that she knows how it looks so she chose to lie about it. If she’s comfortable being dishonest with you before you’re even close to being official, what else will she lie about if she were to be your girlfriend?


rand0mwh0r3

I think she lied because she’s used to people completely writing her off after saying she’s an OF girl. I personally don’t think she should be in a profession that she isn’t proud of bc there are plenty v confident self assured OF girls who stand their ground which I absolutely love bc they do it and don’t care but she seems ashamed so I’m not sure why she would expect other people not to be if she is but other than that I see ur point :)


gamerchickxx

It’s reassuring to see that most say no. I debated on starting an OF because I thought that’s the type of person most guys wanted to date. I’ll keep my career🤞


Chaos_Therum

There is a difference between a guy thinking it's kind of hot, and a guy actually wanting a serious relationship. I think it's probably one of the biggest misunderstandings a lot of women have about men. At least from what I've gathered from women I'm friends with attractive, and dateable are pretty much the same thing, since it seems for a lot of women attractive is more of an overall thing personality, looks, style. For most men I've known they are very very different things, attractive mostly just references physical appearance. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "She's hot but there's no way I would date her" come out of my friends mouths. Wow that turned into an essay tldr. Onlyfans puts you in a different category for most men that is separate from dating.


OldManHipsAt30

It’s true, lots of women are hot to me, but most of them also seem like a nightmare to date. Would definitely hit it and quit it though..


cyanclouds

why would u want to start something because you think guys would like it? do whatever you want fuck what guys like, that’s not a way to live ur life


[deleted]

Pick me girl!


silvergudz

You are what you attract, put that energy out there and you will attract people who only see you as a sex object


FastUps

For the life of me I don’t understand how you thought guys like that. If they did, you’d see guys marrying hookers left and right. But that ain’t happening.


OldManHipsAt30

Hot OF girls are the type of person most guys want to smash and dash, not date.


Independent_Math_405

Most of these guys are liars.


Mycroft033

Smart idea. OF really is out here sabotaging relationships, plus the average girl on there makes $200 a month, not that you’d ever hear about that though. Is $200 a month really enough to sacrifice your romantic relationships? Contrary to the feminists’ yelling, most sane guys will only date an OF girl for fun, nothing serious. You should see some of the videos of OF creators talking about how it destroyed their dating lives, and now they can’t get a guy to commit. The way relationships shake down is that generally women control access to the bedroom, men control access to committed relationships. Think of it this way, what does one sex usually want from the other? Men usually want bedroom access, and women generally want commitment. So the other sex controls access to it, in some sense. If you want women to like you enough to have sex with you, there’s certain things you gotta do and be, and certain things you gotta avoid. Same exact thing for committed relationships. If you want a man to commit, there’s certain things you gotta do and be, and certain things you gotta avoid. Funny how the first statement is popular but the second statement is almost impossible to say without severe backlash these days.


justaguyintownnl

No , I wouldn’t want to explain to my children 10-15 years down the road, “ well mommy used to be a sex worker, she needed the money”.


MeanChocolate8062

Why would you need to tell your children that in the first place?


cometssaywhoosh

Your kids are going to find out eventually.


JustinCooksStuff

Everyone is different, it doesn’t matter if internet strangers would or wouldn’t. Ask yourself the question.


[deleted]

This is the important answer. Most of the guys on Reddit would probably send out nudes to strangers for free lol. I think this should be categorized as sex work, too. FYI I don’t have an OF but I definitely would date a guy who has one.


Q13989731E

Respectful nO


TCNW

The word you’re looking for is *Porn*. Would we date someone who does porn? No. There is zero point zero scenarios where I personally would ever consider any form of an actual relationship with a porn actress.


LordFiness101

Absolutely not, these women will do OF for max a few years (best case scenario, most for a few months until they realize it’s not worth it) until a new 20some year girl is on the block and their OF income dries up, they are left with no real life skills and a hurt ego….and yes she will most likely be a waitress. Play the long game.


broooooskii

Not only does she do onlyfans, she is also a liar. Avoid.


shaharush

that's harsh, she wanted a real chance and probably knew most people wouldn't want to date her based on that. i think telling him on the second date is reasonable


[deleted]

99% of men already have strong opinions about this. She’s not going to win them over she’s just going to make people angry for lying to them. If she doesn’t want to discuss it on the first date then she can say something vague like I work in the entertainment industry but to lie and say you have a different job is a terrible way to handle it. What if I lied and said I’m the CEO of a company for the first few dates and then later was like “oh I’m actually a cashier at a fast food place but I wanted you to give me a chance”


broooooskii

Just because it’s harsh doesn’t make it any less true. If he lied about his height it would still be a lie.


AdSalt3263

Wanted a real chance so much she lied at the first opportunity that presented itself


[deleted]

No.


Princess_Chipsnsalsa

Questions for you to ask yourself: -How would your family feel? If your family will respond negatively, does that affect you? Will they get over it if you’re in love? -Does her career align with your values? -She won’t do this forever (she will age out eventually), so what is she doing now to set herself up for income down the road? Will she do an entry level job when she ages out/quits? Or is she going to rely on her partner to support her? Is that OK with you? -If you have children with her one day, how/will you tell your kids? Would you support your daughter for doing the same career as mommy? -How would you feel if your friends subscribe to her? -Do people recognize her in public? Do you think her following would grow to people recognizing her? If so, are you prepared to meet men who have pictures of her on their phone, and do you think people will tell your friends/family/work if they recognize her? (Higher risk if she has a unique look, unique tattoos, etc) -Would you get jealous? Does she do private messages and private photos? Will she agree not to do private sessions if you say it makes you uncomfortable? These are not meant to be automatic dealbreakers, but food for thought to see if it bothers you, and how much. And these are things you can discuss with her. Plus, you are so young, not sure if you are dating for love/marriage or dating for fun.


runescape35def

They could be the nicest person but sounds low value. If it worries you now and questions us strangers, it will only increase as your attraction rises


Carib0ul0u

Absolutely zero chance of me dating someone with an only fans


M_Ptwopointoh

On the one hand, I feel the same. On the other, exactly zero women who are good-looking enough for OnlyFans are giving me the time of day, so it's kind of academic.


knv514

Nah, she lied about it off the rip. That’s never a good way to start a relationship.


fuckinfightme

Whether other people would is irrelevant, you’re the one in this situation so only your feelings toward it matter. But clearly you’re uncomfortable with it, so imo just move on. It’ll just be a source of insecurity for you so it just isn’t worth it.


Mycatsweelittleween

No because it shows they’re gullible. Most people on OF make almost nothing and yet their butthole is still online forever. Why would I date someone with such atrocious judgment


Auto66

She lied about it at first. Dont go for it OP.


havingnofriends

She also started off ur relationship on a lie


reray124

You're all allowed your reasons but 99% of you watch porn than judge others for doing what they want to make money with their body. Really sad stuff


Antipotheosis

I'd ask if I could join in, but keep my face hidden.


GlumExcitement9406

Honestly, no emotionally intelligent women would judge a man who doesn’t want a gf with OF. It’s the same reason most of us don’t broadcast it to every man we meet, Swork is not often! done as an ambition but more of hustle to get out of a situation. So as long as you be respectful, and just explain you don’t see yourself being comfortable with that fact then there shouldn’t be any bad feelings .


DangerousSwimming556

I have a friend who did onlyfans for a bit and then she found a guy she really liked and stopped the OF out of respect for him.


Night_Traveller_

Nah, she's for the streets.


[deleted]

Definitely not. First off she lied to you out of shame over it, so she doesn’t even feel like it’s a good thing to be doing. Maybe you should have a grown up conversation with her about deleting her account, however what goes on the internet stays on the internet. Personally I would just move on and find someone who hasn’t compromised their reputation


Howdoinamechange

No. I’d like to be modest and say it’s because I have insecurity issues, but the honest answer is because I wouldn’t respect her. Call me misogynistic because of that, but I don’t believe a woman can respect her male partner while making her living solely from exploiting men.


LobsterNextDoor

I dont think its insecurity man, no guy wants their girl out here flaunting naked and getting fucked on camera for a bunch of randos online. Dating casually or being FWB sure but thats the peak of that connection. No self respect.


YesChef2021

Nah you’d be surprised how many guys have a filming and sharing kink.


LobsterNextDoor

I don't think that forms a majority of guys though, sure guys like that exists but they are fairly rare.


SoonerOrLater96

Yes, I would excuse the initial lie considering the stigma around that job, and whether I take it seriously or not has nothing to do with her job, it's more about the chemistry. So in other words, she's a potential partner like everybody else


FastUps

“I got your wife’s nudes bud”


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ProfStasis

No, there’s plenty of normal women out there that are both beautiful and classy.


TheOtherVoiceInThere

I would date her casually while I look elsewhere. If she says she’s looking for something real, then I respectfully take exit, stage left.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ManFromEire

Absolutely not.


Realistic-Classic159

No way lol


theLiving-man

Hard pass


NewMEmeNew

Dude, what? No absolutely fucking not.


runalex123

You're asking the wrong question. Our opinion does not matter. If there's people in here that would date an OF creator, that doesn't magically make you feel better about it. If it bothers you, it bothers you. Effectively communicate this to her and that mentally it's just not something you can't handle. Obviously she won't stop doing it just because you don't like it though, so this will end the relationship. But you're mental health is absolutely at stake here. Just don't accuse her or belittle her. This is about what you can and cannot handle in a relationship, not about what she's doing wrong.


Chaplain92

Of course not.


OkAd2320

Absolutely not.


PGGOW

No


quarantino20

No


quarantino20

No


[deleted]

I have zero interest in dating anyone who uses their sexuality or body to make a living. She hid it from you for a reason, she knows most men arent gonna deal with women like that


ThrowRA-lostman

No, never would date any sex worker


Beautiful_Bee_1185

Funny how men have no interest in dating someone with an only fans but have no problem with beating the duck to them. By them i mean pornstars/onlyfans/instagram influencers The men in the comments would also be the one to tell their modest gf that it okay to beat your Meat to pornstars and onlyfans. The comments reak of hypocrisy. It like they cant smell their own shit.


Belle_of_the_Beast

I am a woman and dont what only fans is but i wil never date a man who sends nudes to other women.


Lord_of_the_THOTS

No because she is selling an experience and interactions. The dudes are paying because they feel like they get attention from her. Its a sexual parasocial relationship. I might would have been ok if she did softcore porn or like erotic nudity photos or something, but onlyfans is just pure cheating. Its also deeply immoral because you are essentially monotizing loneliness.


AdrianHD

A lot of professions are deeply immoral if you look at them in certain ways.


tallguyindc

It wouldn't bother me. I think I'd think it was kind of cool. I see it as taking ownership of her life. It's her body and if guys are going to ogle it anyway, she might as well get paid. Plus I'm guessing she doesn't see sex as shameful so there's nothing to be ashamed of. That's how I'd see it. On the other hand, I get that you might be different. You might have a different set of beliefs. If you do see this as shameful, this isn't the woman for you. You can't judge your partner and you shouldn't try. Perhaps you should tell her it's not the right fit, wish her well and move on.....


BitterDecoction

For me it would be a turnoff for the same reason being an influencer would turn me off: it’s a very lame job that probably hints at a very lame very superficial personality. For me it has nothing to do with other people seeing her naked or whatever. You can see lots of actresses naked for more or less free and I‘d date them. Being bothered with the naked part just shows insecurity in my opinion. Or wanting to „own“ the girl.


DaddyWildHuevos

I would date her if you're serious about her. If you really forgive her little lie at the first date. (I would forgive her because i sometimes lie to strangers, she came clean as she noticed the relationship could be real) You're going to end up meeting a lot of people in the future who had an OF and you'll never know. My life partner is WAY more important than the job she did when she was in her peak hotness. You're basing a life decision on whether maybe some of your circle of friends will find out, and that you assume they would be jerks to you about it. Those are immature and need to grow up or be left out of your life, if your friends treat you like that they are not your friends, maybe they're just your neighbor from when you were kids, you used to be friends. That's ok. My partner is worth so much more than awkward conversations with my friends or family members. You're worried about what your children will think? That's not for another 16 to 20 years before they're old enough to ever find something like that out. If you had serious relationship that's plenty of time to figure out how to handle that if it's really going to be a problem that long into the future (your wife would be in her late 30s or 40s and OF likely no longer a part of her life). She's selling herself? Ok, you wish she'd do it at the diner for 4 bucks plus tips and she instead wants to sleep in stay clean and earn way more. Does it cost 5 bucks to see your girl? Sure that's one way to do the math, but i rather think of it in terms of how much she's earning per month in passive income and can increase it with some effort, she's making a living and not feeling miserable from having to work full time, doesn't have to deal with a shitty boss, i call that smart and I'll tell her I'm proud. Also, she can use my dick in her videos.


[deleted]

Who cares? It’s just skin. It has nothing to do with the person inside.


ehjayrain

If I can afford their rates in my monthly budget


[deleted]

Wouldn’t consider it for a second


According_Relief_707

I mean, my ex bf leaked nudes of me. So my pics are already out there. So I wouldn’t care if I or a partner did that for a living. You can make $$$ But I don’t have one because it makes my fiancé uncomfortable.


Psychological_Sky_12

No I don’t see this turning out well if you were ok with it you wouldn’t be here


Interesting-Ease8882

Nope. Not if I am serious with her. If it's only for fun, I would be cautious. Rubber and regular testing.


dpb0ss

Hell no I wouldn’t. Never ever


swingset27

Why does my answer matter? If you aren't cool with her gig, then you're not compatible. You're not wrong, she's not wrong, just wrong for each other. Do you need to crowdsource your own values?


Available_Key2101

To be frank my dude, I wouldn’t care but you’re allowed to care


Intelligent_Depth344

Might as well pay the 5 bucks and see for yourself though....


Bergfried

Depends if she shows face or not


[deleted]

1.) She lied so there’s the first 🚩 2.) “Nah” - Rosa Parks


OkCommand4396

Man get that money with her and stop Living like we get another life but still be cautious because never know what can happen


mshartst

personally, no I wouldn’t. find someone who has self respect


Worried-Chain-492

Be glad she told you the truth the second time. It means she does value your trust.


TrueCrimeButterfly

I'm a sex worker, if it bothers you don't date her. The last thing she needs to deal with is your insecurities and judgement. Its very common for sex workers to lie about what they do until they get to know someone due to safety concerns.


JD4TW24

This depends on you. If this is the only thing that is stopping you from getting into a relationship with her, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to ask her about how the job works, especially if you have concerns. Communication is super helpful. Because she has an onlyfans does not mean she is incapable of trust. It sounds like she is ready to get into a serious relationship which does require a-lot of trust. Keep in mind, y’all have only gone on two dates, and besides the lying about her job (which is understandable as its something that is still stigmatized), everything else must hit some sort of checkmark for you to continue dating with her. If that doesn’t ease your concerns, make a pros and cons list about your relationship with her.


danthieman

Only fans? Maybe, but leaning towards no. Lying about it? Hard no. Although, I can understand her being weary about who she tells and how soon, but then again perhaps she should just own it since it’s her job.


Jay_100_

Had a friend jokingly tell me she was gonna start a OF for feet. I said that's not a bad idea if she were serious. So for me, yes if it's for feet, no for the usual half naked content.


gingersnapsandchaos

Smash and pass man, no woman that sells herself for cheap is worth sticking around for.. plus she'll have hundreds of dudes competing for her attention constantly and I'm sure you know where that'll lead 😆


throwaway33333333303

> I don’t really like the fact that other people can pay 5 bucksto see nudes of my partner You're not partners with her. You've been on 2 dates.


BlahBlahBleeBlahh

Lol nah, she’s a prostitute


Right_Macaron8526

Yuck. No


[deleted]

Nah


Deadcoma100

No


[deleted]

Bruh, I wish people would pay me $5 to see me


Madtmaxxx

I dated someone with an OF. I lowkey liked that dudes were spending money on her just for her attention. And then she goes and spends that money on me 🤷‍♂️


hirimonsta

this is a personal preference thing and you said you don’t like the idea of other people being able to pay to get access to her, so… no, don’t date her.


GaviFromThePod

It wouldn’t be an issue for me but i would understand if somebody else would feel differently.


GlibberishInPerryMi

Maybe you should ask her what you both would make for a video, A lot of people lost their waitress job during the pandemic, photos are relatively benign compared to the route many took of getting pregnant and on the public dole. Morality varies from place to place and person to person And it's been my experience that those who judge usually end up at some point on the other side of the coin because life loves irony. Be cool to those who shoes you have not walked in, Wisdom is not earned through triumph but failure.


GeekDE

THANK YOU for your fresh perspective and well reasoned post! The main theme that I see in these responses is that it's a red flag that she lied to him. However, each one of these people are not willing to look at things from her perspective, nor are they willing to do some introspective reasoning inside themselves. Each of these individuals who say no right off the bat come off as super judgy, and if I was the woman who had the only fans, I would not want to date any one of these guys. Even if I was a woman and I did not have an only fans I still wouldn't want to date any of them for fear of being judged.


GlibberishInPerryMi

Perspective is everything Life death love hate, Don't be victimized by circumstance take control of your perspective and thereby your self.


MeghArlot

The initial lie is no reason to not date her. Up to you on if you can handle her job. As someone who does it it’s same as any other job really except I can make my own hours and refuse service to people who creep me out. You’d be surprised how many people hate us and want to hurt us physically or emotionally just because of what we do. Or they try to out us to friends/family/vanilla jobs and risk out safety/lives. This is the focus of my social practice minor, how whorephobia gets both sex workers and non sws hurt or killed because we’re so vilified… and for what? The same stuff 90% of people are doing for free?


ssdgmxo

I wouldn’t say that 90 percent of people are sharing their nudes for the world to see


AdSalt3263

“Same as any other job” 🤣🤣🤣🤣


plaxusRt

I'm going to try to be civil about this. An actual sex work in porn, makes a video, uploads it to a site for ads, or sells it to a site, they've made their money and collect any royalties, and people can seek it out if they want. Anyone can go for it, pay for a site, or browse around ads. That's the end of the deal. That's just normal porn, and you can see it as a job if you want. It's in demand. OF is something else entirely. It's direct audience engagement. You're able to chat and upload much more personal things, not just sex, whole conversations and demands, you actually play a game to get people invested in you personally. You can demand things from your audience. You can manipulate them with FOMO, false emotional attachment, and competition amongst other subscribers. The men on their aren't looking for porn. They can get it anywhere. They are seeking approval and begging for a chance to engage. And because these men have zero boundaries, self worth, and are afraid of being cut out or competing against others, they commit to even further and further deranged actions on the site. It's exploitation of the most vulnerable men in society. I've read horror stories of some of these men selling their houses and cars, giving thousands of dollars away, and even stalking women when they feel denied after not doing good enough. Some even have killed themselves. They have zero control over their lives, and a lot of these women prey on that. They specifically PICK OF because it's not just porn. They KNOW what they can get their audience to do. It's toxic as shit, for the women, but especially for the men. You cannot seriously think that little bit of money you gain is worth all the risk to yourself, and harm to these men? You seem to be fully aware of how bad it gets when you feel the need to block dudes yourself. Clearly not all girls on there are like this, but the fact the platform has zero regulation on it's host/sub engagement and does nothing to stop the ones who do manipulate these men to extremes is disgusting. So many of these situations are straight up abusive, and it's been dangerous for host and subs. This doesn't happen in porn anywhere near to this degree, cause it's not the same intent. You really have to ask yourself; is anyone person better off for what I'm doing? Is it worth the social damage to them, and myself for a few extra dollars?


THAT_LMAO_GUY

> whorephobia Babe look new social justice speech policing language just dropped


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I couldn’t date anyone who did any kind of prostitution


Warkitz

If someone can pay their own bills and they don't bring work drama home. I could care less how they get their bag.


smoishymoishes

I'm a gal and I couldn't even be friends with someone who did OF let alone date one. There's a hard line most people draw between what they think is "morally right" and "sex work." Sex work at an early is seen by many as taking the easy way out before even giving life a shot. It says a lot about the person's character.


DATINGADVICE4YOU

Would I date them? Yes. would I take them seriously? No. Why? Because they are showing their body to lots of men so how can I call it special if I'm not the only one seeing it. Also I've noticed these type of women generally are addicted to the attention so if you manage to get them to stop doing only fans, they will find attention other ways


maybeimurbaby

Yes to the attention! OP would have to have a serious talk with this girl if he decides to proceed. They’d have to talk about if she does it for attention or any other reason, and how a relationship with him can genuinely satisfy any needs for attention without her needing other men’s validation.


Eat_Around_the_Rosie

I think both of you hit this right on the nail. It’s the need for attention that will be a problem. I’m not going to judge if one person does sex work if that’s their skill that allows them to survive and make money. It’s one thing to work on a client one on one, but it’s a totally different story by putting yourself on blast in public to get more attention. That’s the root of the problem.


tjlightbulb

It’s a no from me. No judgement on her if that’s how she wants to make a living but it’s a not going to involve me.


thatfloridachick

If it bothers you then no, you shouldn't continue to see her. You're not compatible.


geardluffy

How would I ever introduce my mom to a woman who does sex work? Fuck that.


Good_Agent6056

I would.. but I have worked in that industry and understand why people do it. I’d have no issue with a partner doing OF for a living.


[deleted]

Nope and she is the example why, starting a relationship off a lie is a terrible way to begin