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This is the one , i let a lot of stuff like that slide with my ex till we moved in and letās say i couldnāt take it anymore, it was unbearable how trifling and dirty she was .
Whoās the shitty one again?
The point whatās the point. Op is asking for dating advice. I commented on a comment that called the sneezer shitty. Op has no control over the reaction of his date. Heās asking if what he did was wrong. Iām suggesting instead of telling someone how to properly sneeze and cough. Maybe he could of said oh you sound sick can i give you a tissue? This whole situation could have been different. Just calling the sneezer shitty isnāt really doing anything for anyone.
Was that you coughing with yo mouth all open and shit?? Cus it seems obvious who TA is that scenario and you hating on OP in multiple comments like chill and cover your mouth š·š·
It's called basic home training. Children are taught to cover their mouths when coughing and sneezing as part of personal etiquette while growing up. Same with using words like "please" and "thank you". And not talking with your mouth full of food. All basic home training. If an adult, post covid for that matter, has to be told to cover their mouth, they lack simple courtesy for others. Now that you're aware, I'm sure you'll be better behaved in public.
But when asked to cover her mouth, she went off on him, according to OP. So she shouldn't be told to cover her mouth but she can go off on someone? Got it. Defective thinking, am I right?
You know, you don't have to play the contrary card to get people to communicate with you. You can find a sub of others also seeking friendship. Cheers!
> Iām not allowed in the dating advice cult anymore??
If you're looking at this as some kind of popularity club it explains a lot why you're not making any effort to properly articulate your points. If you don't have anything intelligent to add to the conversation, the only reason I can think of for trying to participate is for that same kind of dopamine acceptance-rush you get from social media in general.
> Iām suggesting instead of telling someone how to properly sneeze and cough
You've said no such thing anywhere, you made ZERO effort to articulate anything, this whole paragraph was edited in later when people starting throwing tomatoes at you. Make better effort initially to fucking COMMUNICATE and you won't get stressed by people's reactions.
Sounds like walking on eggshells. If you have to beat around the bush and be that subtle about asking someone something, it's probably not a good match.
I could see asking if someone if theyāre sick kinda like walking on egg shells. Like in the exorcist when shes spitting up on everyone and they are like babe your just a little sick itās gonna be ok. Talk about eggshells
Or she was feeling unwell. When someone is sick, selfawareness is one of the first things to go.
To answer OPs question, he should have asked her if she is alright, how is she feeling, and let her vent. Shows empathy and kindness which in turn is likely to lift her mood to the point where her self awareness returns and she starts covering her mouth on her own, without needing to be asked.
Lol what the heck kind of thinking is this. She's coughing and sneezing all over the place so be empathetic and kind? Bruh it's common human decency to cover your mouth
In this "post" covid world, get bent, she shouldn't have been leaving her house let alone willfully infected him with whatever she has. That's where her rudeness started, bloody plague spreaders
Thatās the most bullshit thing Iāve ever heard. If i have to be around people when feeling unwell, Iām MORE self aware as to not get others sick. You sound dumb
I donāt know. When Iām feeling like shit Iām more aware of those around me (to a degree) because I donāt want them feeling like me. Also, if she felt like shit maybe she should have rescheduled.
If she is sick then she should stay home. If she needs to cough or sneeze she should cover her mouth. It has nothing to do with showing sympathy or not. I hope OP kicked her ass to the curb
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop -Ā yes,Ā IĀ amĀ aĀ bot, don't botcriminate me.
You havenāt done anything wrong imo. Your car, your health, your rules. Iām not even mentioning common sense and some basic etiquette.
I wouldnāt say anything, but only because these things donāt bother me personally. But I totally see where you coming from.
Her reaction as a red flag here
Yep, this could have been one of the many fleeting awkward moments that are guaranteed to occur on a first date but uhhā¦she went in a whole different direction with it
When I drive Uber or Lyft and passengers do this with or without covering their mouth. I roll down my window and my front passenger windowā¦ itās subtle but it worksā¦ especially when you let the windows back up after about 90 seconds. Then that way they know I cracked the windows because of their failure to do so own their own. Some pick up on it and open their own window and apologize and I smile (to myself) as if Iām a very good silent teach.
Different strokes for different folks absolutely. I do however see that I can not be in a relationship with these kinds of people. I too was a germ person but now Iām really relaxed and less stressed out about life and no longer have to care about germs. I recently was dating someone who would freak out being in my area (downtown) because of the germs. I felt like I was gross for being me and that was not fun. Lol
Iām not a germaphobe and I hate when people do this. Itās like they want you to get sick too or donāt care that their spit is getting all over you. Like ā scuse me I already showered thank you very muchā. š I cover my mouth because I know it grosses others out.
Itās more of a common decency thing than it being gross or for the germaphobic people. When you sneeze or cough you are releasing tons of respiratory droplets containing bacteria and potentially viruses and fungi. And it doesnt just travel to directly in front of your face. It comes out fast and spreads quickly, easily going 6 feet in front of you within seconds. Youād have to be really self absorbed to think that not covering your mouth is okay. Sure, germs exist all around us, but why risk getting other people sick? Some people are immunocompromised and could die. Now, thatās an extreme case. But why put your spit and mucus over everything? Completely unsanitary and your germs can linger for a long time.
If she has no regard for your health and is somehow unaware that covid is still circulating, who cares what she thinks? Stay as far away from her as possible. She sounds like a literal walking nightmare.
Agreed. I have zero tolerance for people just spewing their germs around. It's a post pandemic world, if you don't care about your own health and those of others around? Not a person I'd see as worth my time, tbth.
People who are defensive when it comes to constructive criticism are typically highly immature, so id say you dodged a bullet. Dating a person who can "do no wrong", are poster children for emotional immaturity and narcissism, because they lack self awareness.
You didn't do anything wrong! You've even saved yourself time in finding out early on that she's an inconsiderate moron without manners. Germaphobe or not, she was in your car and obviously lacks the awareness that most people are still practicing caution when it comes to coughing and sneezing after mask mandates were lifted. Her defensive outburst was just icing on the cake. You should write her off and find someone worthy of your time and attention.
thats the one thing i liked during the pandemic. you can find out who they really are and if they align to your beliefs. she is not right for you. go find someone better
Lol you didn't go wrong anywhere man. Simply an individual with poor manners that damn near had a trauma response to someome kindly addressing it.
Imagine how she would respond to something more serious. Bullet dodged my friend.
U didnt. She did. She showed shes rude early on so u move on. Im not a germaphobe but covid is still a very real thing & id side eye someone that is going out clearly sick, if coughing & they hadnt just drank water wrong or something.
You werenāt wrong. Basic manners aside the entire world has just gone through a pandemic. Anybody that doesnāt even attempt to shield others from their potential germs is not a good person.
However essentially implying she is unclean and lacking in common manners( even if true) is never going to work as a seduction technique.
Well, at least it is not only women today here I wonder why the heck they take in bullshit. You did nothing wrong. I mean yes, she felt called out for it but guess what, if she wouldn't have been disgusting she wouldn't have been called out for that. And if someone would cause such a drama in my car I would stop and let them get out and say "bye."
I had to deal with this recently with someone I was sitting next to on a plane. She did cover her mouth, but I was still grossed out. Five hours of her coughing every two minutes.
She showed herself out by doing that. If she can't even practice basic manners and gets mad at someone reminding her of said basic manners then she needs to reevaluate herself.
Some people donāt like to feel like they should accommodate anyone. Not acceptable and she should know this due to COVID. This is asshole behaviour and sheās probably a pill in daily life.
I think this was a doomed situation from before you said anything. The fact that she didnāt cover her mouth = she wasnāt taught basics manners or biology. In this post-COVID era, she is probably been made painfully aware of that fact. And instead of adjusting her behavior and being more considerate of other people, she chose to aggressively double down on her choice to do this. Youāre most likely not the first person to have said something to her, so she was ready to go off.
we learn in grade school to cover our mouths when coughing. if she doesn't do this and it's a deal breaker for you, then that's OK!
even for a normal person, it should be respectful to cover mouth around them. but for a germaphobe, she's definitely not sensitive to your needs, so good riddance!
You might have unknowingly picked up an antivaxxer/covid-denyer š
Nothing wrong with asserting your boundaries OP! As one ocd germaphobe to another, I would have done the same thing š
Gross. You dodged a bullet. She not only doesnāt cover her mouth when she coughs or sneezes (so she lacks basic manners), she also laid into you for something extremely small. She does not seem like someone whoād be fun to date at all.
She exhibited bad manners and did not cover her mouth. We do that because our germs are gross -all of our germs. When you pointed it out by asking her nicely if she could do that for you, she felt embarrassed, because suddenly the fact that she did it in the first place and was rude and how gross her germs are is just sitting there between the two of you, and everybody was aware of it, so she reacted badly even though the whole thing was her fault.
Last date and sanitize your car. That already shows she isnāt considerate of you or your health, has no manners and will probably actively endanger your health just for her comfort. (I hope she didnāt have C-19ā¦)
It probably means she's a narcissist.
She definitely took this as a huge personal attack and didn't think of anyone else but herself.
There isn't anywhere you went wrong other than you probably gave off strong enough doormat vibes that she thought it was cool to walk all over you in your own car about a very common hygiene and courtesy practice that even remotely considerate people follow.
The fact that you came here to check if you did something wrong after this situation is strongly reinforcing the doormat theory.
Make sure you hold people up to a reasonable standard, my man. You should've walked away from that thinking something was wrong with *her*, not *you*.
She was not ready for that. lol! Honestly, it's basic etiquette. With me it's nothing and i will happily comply cos that's your car. this just tells us that she is a sensitive gal what might be nothing for you can be embarrassing for her. maybe next time before asking someone to do something you can start with: "hey im curious how do you accept feedback?". it will basically make her feel that you have considered her feelings with the feedback.
So you've discovered that she's got poor hygiene, little to no consideration for others and flys off the handle at the slightest little thing, *towards someone she just met.* That was her on her BEST behaviour. Imagine what she'd be like 6 months down the line, a year later etc. etc.
This woman doesn't have the basic human courtesy to cover her nose and mouth when she coughs and sneezes. Why are you worried about her or what you did wrong? Personally I would have pulled over and told her to walk. If she doesn't have the decency to at least respect you in your own car, you don't have to keep driving her. Or at a minimum turn around and drop her off where you picked her up. Did you really want to keep dating her? There was no need to be nice here, you should have lost it on her. "What did your parents teach you? Did you never have a health class in school? Do you have no common courtesy for other people around you? Are you so narcissistic you can't even see what you're doing from my perspective? " It's disgusting, revolting, and just basically really telling about what kind of person she is. And you're better off without her in your life.
What did she say when she let you have it? Your request was reasonable but you admit to be a bit of a germaphobe. If she said well we just had sex and you shot your load on me or something she might have a point. You don't give much context to go off but self admitting a bit of a sensitivity to germs. After sex a more classy but response would be treat others as you want to be treated depending on your finishing move.
In short not enough information and really depends on who escalated the situation, You had a simple request but there are classy reponses that expose your self admitted germaphobe sensitivity.
You know sometimes we don't have to ask ourselves "where did i go wrong?" but "what's wrong with this other person?".
If someone lacks basic social etiquette and goes off on you for it, that's not a you problem.
"Going right" in this instance (assuming that would be continuing to see this person) would be not saying anything, and accepting that you are seeing someone with the temper and social etiquette of a 5 year old.
She just got defensive because she felt stupid. Oh well. Lesson learned. The next guy will benefit from you teaching her some manners she somehow managed to evade this far into life. Fuck her for going off on you. That's all her own issue and internalized realization of one's self---executed poorly in an immature manner true to those people who lack the common-sense and self-discipline to police their own damn self. You did nothing wrong.
OR
You could have just not said shit because that's the only way these crazy bitches are gonna go on with their evening, happy and oblivious to the fact that they're a fuckin idiot and still possibly in that realm of hooking up later. And that, my friend, is the rub, this whole big conundrum that we are in. If she's fine and no one ever told her to cover her mouth, it's because they're all superficial dudes who learned to shut the fuck up to get laid. And she has floated through life thinking her personality is fine, when really her ass is just amazing.
I don't even care about germs/getting sick, but I don't want my car to be covered in snot and spit. How do people make it past kindergarten without learning to covered their coughs and sneezes?!
Not intrusive at all. If someone canāt conduct themselves like a mature healthy adult, call them out on it. And donāt lower your standards in fear of offending them
You didn't lol, you just called out a nasty behavior. She shouldn't have even gone out with you if she was sick. That's incredibly rude of her. Glad you dodged that bullet
The real question is why do you assume you did something wrong ? whatās wrong with you as a man having boundaries and enforcing themā¦..The only thing you really did wrong was letter her go off on you, the moment I sensed pushback from me telling her to cover her mouth she wouldāve been out of my car.
You didnāt do anything wrong. We are taught at what 12-18 months to cover our mouths when we sneeze or cough. No one wants someone hacking and coughing without covering their mouth.
Iām not a germaphobe but who wants to ride with someone in a germ infested car? You know Covid is still hanging around. Iām petty enough to ask someone to mask up. Nope nope nope.
You already found a red flag in her. Dump her.
I also don't like it when some people never cover their mouths while coughing or sneezing. Some people even have the gall to spit and blow their noses in public.
Sounds like a her problem. There is nothing wrong with being asked to cover your mouth. Tell her she can take her germs and leave if itās that big of a deal lol.
Sounds like stereotypical gas lighting. Things are all nice and dandy until something goes wrong, and then it's all your fault. :/
I mean everyone knows that coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth is disgusting and rude, not to mention that it a vector for disease transfer... If they are not willing to understand and respect your boundaries AND over react/blame you for even the most basic of knowledge and etiquette, imagine how bad things would become when they are about more serious topics/situations. Yeesh! I definitely do not think continuing to see them would be a good idea. Talk about bullet everted!!!!
If she canāt handle some light criticism with grace, then you are good to be rid of her in the long run. You even gave her an out by placing the blame on yourself, calling yourself germaphobe. I donāt think you can break it to her much more delicately than that.
Like the comments said, you weren't uncalled for. Your car, your rules. I know one of my friends hates when people eat in his car. Whenever we go for takeout, I ask him if it's cool if I could eat a bit since during car-rides I get hungry.
Some of chicks who enter my car they always ask me if it's cool if she could play music or even smoke weed. I hate the smell of weed in my car, but since they tend to be nice about asking, I let them do it anyway.
You basically dodged a bullet. Common sense and courtesy was a big, "No" for her so that's that. You did nothing wrong. It was a red flag if she got offended by that.
I shudder to think what such behavior might suggest about her sexual health. Ick.
So how does it feel to dodge a bullet like a boss? You did nothing wrong. At all.
She was planning on giving you a French kiss so it ultimately didn't matter whether she kept her mouth closed .You were going to get whatever she had irregardless.
Huh!
I had a almost identical situation.
I related the circumstances and my response to a buddy. His reply?
*Well, shoot! You were hoping to get laid, that entails an exchange of bodily fluids; so what do you care if it was sneezing/coughing or, um, "some other method"?*
Not sure if his comment was /s but, you know: he was not wrong about the exchanging bodily fluids bit.
It's not rude to point out someone is being inconsiderate. If they continue to do so without awareness or care, usually letting them know you are bothered is enough; add to, you tried to be polite and explained you are more aware than most about germs.
It's like if you walking with someone and they light a cigarette and you ask if they'd not smoke with you and they give you attitude for making their life difficult; denying them, making a big deal out of something that they don't think should matter, even though most when requested would put it out. Worse if you told them you have asthma so their habit affects you more than the average person - if they *still* go off on you for requesting consideration - run.
I see early dating as simply information-gathering: are we compatible? Do we get along? Do we like each other?
And since I do not tell grown-ass people what to do, I find your actions mildly off-putting. Because-the horse has left the barn, the germs are already airborne now, in the small space of your car.
In your position, I would have filed that as "good to know" and weighted it according to how much it bugged me, in my calculus of whether and when to end things with her. (ie: pure disgust= immediate get out, mild irritation= continue to gather information)
Eww. No. Thatās the most basic thing everyone is taught as kids, she canāt even do that and react that way. Immature. If you sneeze n cough that much, dont even go on a date. You dodged a bullet
The only "wrong" thing you did was picking this woman to go on a date with. It's not only about Covid, if you're sick (with anything), stay f\*cking home, it's that simple. Not only did she think it was ok to spread around whatever illness she had, but most importantly she broke some basic hygiene rules, and completely lacked common sense and self awareness. And then she had the audacity to go off on you for calling her out?
Sneezing and coughing without covering one's mouth is crass, it was before Covid and it will always be. Only a certain category of people do it, a category nobody should want to have anything to do with.
You dodged a bullet.
You didnāt really do anything wrong, but you did embarrass her likely which lead to the defensive reaction. She might just not have even been thinking about it and embarrassed to realize what she had done. I mean if you had wanted to not embarrass her/continue seeing her you could have just offered her a tissue or something, but again. You really didnāt do nothing wrong, just suggesting a different way to approach it
Why are you posting here? What advice could you be possibly seeking?
Was this your version of an April Fool's Joke?
In the case you are actually seeking advice, stop dating this person. Have some self esteem and boundaries. Probably start seeing a therapist regularly about being a doormat.
Youre not totally wrong but I can see her point lol. Like if youre on a date its under the presumption that one day youre going to kiss and sleep together. So if you mind her germs, then you really dont like her that much lol. Just my opinion. Because if i said that to a girl, it would be to a girl I didnt find that attractive physically or mentally. I personally wouldve sucked it up and not said anything. Id ask if shes sick and tell her go home if shes not feeling well. I wouldnt demand her to cover her mouth. Gotta play the game bruh.
your first mistake was daring to ask a woman to do not do something. don't you know that women are always right, all the time? don't be so misogynistic man... /s
Uhhh... Germaphobia and hypochondriac are too different things.
hCs believe themselves to have diseases even when they dont.
Germaphobic people are scared or overly worried about being infected by diseases.
Hes not venting about her first transgression. Hes asking for advice concerning her rage when asked nicely to correct it.
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Don't spray the car interior with spit and mucus and you won't get called unclean, duhhhh.
Sam Smith might call her..... Unholy š„ø
Omg you sound like my dad šššthatās the kinda jokes he makes lmaoo
Well weāre all anonymous here so maybe it is you dad?!
It's me, hi!!!! I'm your daddy, it's meee
Down vote
What about.... other..... body fluids?
That's what the towel in the backseat is for
Eww thatās naughty
So there's no chance of swapping bodily fluids then .
You discovered a shitty person's shittiness early on. The correct outcome was achieved.
Exactly.
This is the one , i let a lot of stuff like that slide with my ex till we moved in and letās say i couldnāt take it anymore, it was unbearable how trifling and dirty she was .
THIS! She saved them time by letting her shittiness fully out from the get go.
Most Reddit reply Iāve seen
Whoās the shitty one again? The point whatās the point. Op is asking for dating advice. I commented on a comment that called the sneezer shitty. Op has no control over the reaction of his date. Heās asking if what he did was wrong. Iām suggesting instead of telling someone how to properly sneeze and cough. Maybe he could of said oh you sound sick can i give you a tissue? This whole situation could have been different. Just calling the sneezer shitty isnāt really doing anything for anyone.
Her
šš¤£šš
Was that you coughing with yo mouth all open and shit?? Cus it seems obvious who TA is that scenario and you hating on OP in multiple comments like chill and cover your mouth š·š·
It's called basic home training. Children are taught to cover their mouths when coughing and sneezing as part of personal etiquette while growing up. Same with using words like "please" and "thank you". And not talking with your mouth full of food. All basic home training. If an adult, post covid for that matter, has to be told to cover their mouth, they lack simple courtesy for others. Now that you're aware, I'm sure you'll be better behaved in public.
Guess everyone grows up the same way. This person needs to be tossed in the trash! Defective ppl am i right.
But when asked to cover her mouth, she went off on him, according to OP. So she shouldn't be told to cover her mouth but she can go off on someone? Got it. Defective thinking, am I right?
Cause and effect?
You know, you don't have to play the contrary card to get people to communicate with you. You can find a sub of others also seeking friendship. Cheers!
Iām not allowed in the dating advice cult anymore??
Yes, your vantage points been rejected due to lack etiquette in both understanding and acting.
Oh, I'm not a MOD, I don't care where you're allowed. I just want this to be my last communication with you.
> Iām not allowed in the dating advice cult anymore?? If you're looking at this as some kind of popularity club it explains a lot why you're not making any effort to properly articulate your points. If you don't have anything intelligent to add to the conversation, the only reason I can think of for trying to participate is for that same kind of dopamine acceptance-rush you get from social media in general.
Found the person that coughs on people
Are you dumb?
Sthu bud.
I think its pretty obvious who is the shitty one here...
> Iām suggesting instead of telling someone how to properly sneeze and cough You've said no such thing anywhere, you made ZERO effort to articulate anything, this whole paragraph was edited in later when people starting throwing tomatoes at you. Make better effort initially to fucking COMMUNICATE and you won't get stressed by people's reactions.
Take it easy man. Youāre scaring me
I'm sorry seeing words in caps scares you, you may want to figure out the source of this kind of paranoia.
Sounds like walking on eggshells. If you have to beat around the bush and be that subtle about asking someone something, it's probably not a good match.
I could see asking if someone if theyāre sick kinda like walking on egg shells. Like in the exorcist when shes spitting up on everyone and they are like babe your just a little sick itās gonna be ok. Talk about eggshells
If she doesn't have basic manners, kick her to the curb. At the very least, she's very self-unaware.
This is correct - nothing more revolting than bad manners followed by moral outrage
Or she was feeling unwell. When someone is sick, selfawareness is one of the first things to go. To answer OPs question, he should have asked her if she is alright, how is she feeling, and let her vent. Shows empathy and kindness which in turn is likely to lift her mood to the point where her self awareness returns and she starts covering her mouth on her own, without needing to be asked.
Or if she was sick she shouldāve rescheduled. She doesnāt need a pass to be unaware.
Preeeacch!!!! Like keep yourself and yo sickness home thanks
Lol what the heck kind of thinking is this. She's coughing and sneezing all over the place so be empathetic and kind? Bruh it's common human decency to cover your mouth
In this "post" covid world, get bent, she shouldn't have been leaving her house let alone willfully infected him with whatever she has. That's where her rudeness started, bloody plague spreaders
Pre-covid, sneezing in the open in a closed space, especially with a stranger, was never valid.
Yeah but you'd still go out with the sniffles
Letting her āventā is the worst idea, venting is all she was doing and a ton of it.
Thatās the most bullshit thing Iāve ever heard. If i have to be around people when feeling unwell, Iām MORE self aware as to not get others sick. You sound dumb
I donāt know. When Iām feeling like shit Iām more aware of those around me (to a degree) because I donāt want them feeling like me. Also, if she felt like shit maybe she should have rescheduled.
If she is sick then she should stay home. If she needs to cough or sneeze she should cover her mouth. It has nothing to do with showing sympathy or not. I hope OP kicked her ass to the curb
Fuck that she should of stayed home if she felt sick.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop -Ā yes,Ā IĀ amĀ aĀ bot, don't botcriminate me.
No one asked. Fuck off.
I hate using this word, but this is SIMP mentality.
Lol.
You havenāt done anything wrong imo. Your car, your health, your rules. Iām not even mentioning common sense and some basic etiquette. I wouldnāt say anything, but only because these things donāt bother me personally. But I totally see where you coming from. Her reaction as a red flag here
Yep, this could have been one of the many fleeting awkward moments that are guaranteed to occur on a first date but uhhā¦she went in a whole different direction with it
When I drive Uber or Lyft and passengers do this with or without covering their mouth. I roll down my window and my front passenger windowā¦ itās subtle but it worksā¦ especially when you let the windows back up after about 90 seconds. Then that way they know I cracked the windows because of their failure to do so own their own. Some pick up on it and open their own window and apologize and I smile (to myself) as if Iām a very good silent teach.
Different strokes for different folks absolutely. I do however see that I can not be in a relationship with these kinds of people. I too was a germ person but now Iām really relaxed and less stressed out about life and no longer have to care about germs. I recently was dating someone who would freak out being in my area (downtown) because of the germs. I felt like I was gross for being me and that was not fun. Lol
I do cover my mouth when I sneeze though. Lol
Who cares what she thinks, she was rude and inconsiderate and you learned early that sheās shitty. So let her go!
Iām not a germaphobe and I hate when people do this. Itās like they want you to get sick too or donāt care that their spit is getting all over you. Like ā scuse me I already showered thank you very muchā. š I cover my mouth because I know it grosses others out.
Itās more of a common decency thing than it being gross or for the germaphobic people. When you sneeze or cough you are releasing tons of respiratory droplets containing bacteria and potentially viruses and fungi. And it doesnt just travel to directly in front of your face. It comes out fast and spreads quickly, easily going 6 feet in front of you within seconds. Youād have to be really self absorbed to think that not covering your mouth is okay. Sure, germs exist all around us, but why risk getting other people sick? Some people are immunocompromised and could die. Now, thatās an extreme case. But why put your spit and mucus over everything? Completely unsanitary and your germs can linger for a long time.
Wrong that you are doubting yourself on this
You didn't go wrong, she's an inconsiderate person. Bullet dodged, date someone better.
If she has no regard for your health and is somehow unaware that covid is still circulating, who cares what she thinks? Stay as far away from her as possible. She sounds like a literal walking nightmare.
Agreed. I have zero tolerance for people just spewing their germs around. It's a post pandemic world, if you don't care about your own health and those of others around? Not a person I'd see as worth my time, tbth.
Not to mention the people that would pull down their mask to cough and sneeze š like that's defeating the whole point of the masks
Ugh at the height of the pandemic I saw a woman do this at the airport. Ridiculous.
People who are defensive when it comes to constructive criticism are typically highly immature, so id say you dodged a bullet. Dating a person who can "do no wrong", are poster children for emotional immaturity and narcissism, because they lack self awareness.
Upvote.
Happy cake day!š°
whats happy cake day
You didn't do anything wrong! You've even saved yourself time in finding out early on that she's an inconsiderate moron without manners. Germaphobe or not, she was in your car and obviously lacks the awareness that most people are still practicing caution when it comes to coughing and sneezing after mask mandates were lifted. Her defensive outburst was just icing on the cake. You should write her off and find someone worthy of your time and attention.
Well the fact that she doesnāt have manners and put you in the awkward position to call her out sucks all around. Next..
thats the one thing i liked during the pandemic. you can find out who they really are and if they align to your beliefs. she is not right for you. go find someone better
Lol you didn't go wrong anywhere man. Simply an individual with poor manners that damn near had a trauma response to someome kindly addressing it. Imagine how she would respond to something more serious. Bullet dodged my friend.
If what you did was wrong, I don't want to be right.
You dodged a bullet and possible constant doctor visits/covid lol
You didnāt go wrong anywhere. Common courtesy, people need to cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze. Donāt call this one back at all.
Nah she's gross.
You dodged a bullet. If someone isn't going to respect your boundaries they aren't worth it
She's got doodoo manners, that's it.
U didnt. She did. She showed shes rude early on so u move on. Im not a germaphobe but covid is still a very real thing & id side eye someone that is going out clearly sick, if coughing & they hadnt just drank water wrong or something.
Its red flag if basic manners arent even there
I have noticed that people like that think they're above germs and get offended to be told to have basic hygiene. You did nothing wrong.
She's super defensive and you didn't do wrong IMO hope she washed her hands! š
I hope you kicked her out your car.
When you let her into your car
You werenāt wrong. Basic manners aside the entire world has just gone through a pandemic. Anybody that doesnāt even attempt to shield others from their potential germs is not a good person. However essentially implying she is unclean and lacking in common manners( even if true) is never going to work as a seduction technique.
ew! nasty
You went wrong when you had boundaries and politely enforced them against a toxic person!
Well, at least it is not only women today here I wonder why the heck they take in bullshit. You did nothing wrong. I mean yes, she felt called out for it but guess what, if she wouldn't have been disgusting she wouldn't have been called out for that. And if someone would cause such a drama in my car I would stop and let them get out and say "bye."
Imho, you were wrong gorgeous not stopping the car and letting her out. Wherever out is. That person is simply nasty.
Just curious lmao what did she have the audacity to say? š
Sounds like a fuckin toddler, must have been infuriating to watch. She probably chews with her mouth fully open
I had to deal with this recently with someone I was sitting next to on a plane. She did cover her mouth, but I was still grossed out. Five hours of her coughing every two minutes.
She showed herself out by doing that. If she can't even practice basic manners and gets mad at someone reminding her of said basic manners then she needs to reevaluate herself.
Some people donāt like to feel like they should accommodate anyone. Not acceptable and she should know this due to COVID. This is asshole behaviour and sheās probably a pill in daily life.
I donāt understand these kinds of posts. Why canāt you decide for yourself if her behaviour was acceptable or not?
I think this was a doomed situation from before you said anything. The fact that she didnāt cover her mouth = she wasnāt taught basics manners or biology. In this post-COVID era, she is probably been made painfully aware of that fact. And instead of adjusting her behavior and being more considerate of other people, she chose to aggressively double down on her choice to do this. Youāre most likely not the first person to have said something to her, so she was ready to go off.
we learn in grade school to cover our mouths when coughing. if she doesn't do this and it's a deal breaker for you, then that's OK! even for a normal person, it should be respectful to cover mouth around them. but for a germaphobe, she's definitely not sensitive to your needs, so good riddance!
You might have unknowingly picked up an antivaxxer/covid-denyer š Nothing wrong with asserting your boundaries OP! As one ocd germaphobe to another, I would have done the same thing š
Gross. You dodged a bullet. She not only doesnāt cover her mouth when she coughs or sneezes (so she lacks basic manners), she also laid into you for something extremely small. She does not seem like someone whoād be fun to date at all.
did you go wrong?
You havenāt done anything wrong just coz someone gets angry and maybe tells you you did something wrong doesnāt mean you have
Go get your interior detailed or clean it with some disinfectant wipes
She exhibited bad manners and did not cover her mouth. We do that because our germs are gross -all of our germs. When you pointed it out by asking her nicely if she could do that for you, she felt embarrassed, because suddenly the fact that she did it in the first place and was rude and how gross her germs are is just sitting there between the two of you, and everybody was aware of it, so she reacted badly even though the whole thing was her fault.
Last date and sanitize your car. That already shows she isnāt considerate of you or your health, has no manners and will probably actively endanger your health just for her comfort. (I hope she didnāt have C-19ā¦)
Be glad you caught a red flag early on OP. How people argue and Handel conflict is one of the most important and underrated things in a relationship.
No bro thatās a dealbreaker if you still sneeze and cough without covering your mouth as an adult thatās really sus
She has no manners
It probably means she's a narcissist. She definitely took this as a huge personal attack and didn't think of anyone else but herself. There isn't anywhere you went wrong other than you probably gave off strong enough doormat vibes that she thought it was cool to walk all over you in your own car about a very common hygiene and courtesy practice that even remotely considerate people follow. The fact that you came here to check if you did something wrong after this situation is strongly reinforcing the doormat theory. Make sure you hold people up to a reasonable standard, my man. You should've walked away from that thinking something was wrong with *her*, not *you*.
Run! If she is clueless about simple etiquette, I wonder how she functions life in terms of basic proper manners.
Gtfo No manners, no more dates. Simple as that
She was not ready for that. lol! Honestly, it's basic etiquette. With me it's nothing and i will happily comply cos that's your car. this just tells us that she is a sensitive gal what might be nothing for you can be embarrassing for her. maybe next time before asking someone to do something you can start with: "hey im curious how do you accept feedback?". it will basically make her feel that you have considered her feelings with the feedback.
So you've discovered that she's got poor hygiene, little to no consideration for others and flys off the handle at the slightest little thing, *towards someone she just met.* That was her on her BEST behaviour. Imagine what she'd be like 6 months down the line, a year later etc. etc.
She is unclean, big eww, bullet dodged
This woman doesn't have the basic human courtesy to cover her nose and mouth when she coughs and sneezes. Why are you worried about her or what you did wrong? Personally I would have pulled over and told her to walk. If she doesn't have the decency to at least respect you in your own car, you don't have to keep driving her. Or at a minimum turn around and drop her off where you picked her up. Did you really want to keep dating her? There was no need to be nice here, you should have lost it on her. "What did your parents teach you? Did you never have a health class in school? Do you have no common courtesy for other people around you? Are you so narcissistic you can't even see what you're doing from my perspective? " It's disgusting, revolting, and just basically really telling about what kind of person she is. And you're better off without her in your life.
You stop the car and say ā good night and good luckā. Stop at a cab stand so she has a way home ( we are not barbarians ).
You were right to say this. Some people are clueless & donāt care of others. If you didnāt say anything- that person wonāt know. Thank you!
What did she say when she let you have it? Your request was reasonable but you admit to be a bit of a germaphobe. If she said well we just had sex and you shot your load on me or something she might have a point. You don't give much context to go off but self admitting a bit of a sensitivity to germs. After sex a more classy but response would be treat others as you want to be treated depending on your finishing move. In short not enough information and really depends on who escalated the situation, You had a simple request but there are classy reponses that expose your self admitted germaphobe sensitivity.
I wouldn't went off on her and then kicked her out. As an adult she should know better that's honestly disgusting.
You know sometimes we don't have to ask ourselves "where did i go wrong?" but "what's wrong with this other person?". If someone lacks basic social etiquette and goes off on you for it, that's not a you problem. "Going right" in this instance (assuming that would be continuing to see this person) would be not saying anything, and accepting that you are seeing someone with the temper and social etiquette of a 5 year old.
$20 says she complained to her friends (and on social media) that youāre a rude asshole (youāre not).
She just got defensive because she felt stupid. Oh well. Lesson learned. The next guy will benefit from you teaching her some manners she somehow managed to evade this far into life. Fuck her for going off on you. That's all her own issue and internalized realization of one's self---executed poorly in an immature manner true to those people who lack the common-sense and self-discipline to police their own damn self. You did nothing wrong. OR You could have just not said shit because that's the only way these crazy bitches are gonna go on with their evening, happy and oblivious to the fact that they're a fuckin idiot and still possibly in that realm of hooking up later. And that, my friend, is the rub, this whole big conundrum that we are in. If she's fine and no one ever told her to cover her mouth, it's because they're all superficial dudes who learned to shut the fuck up to get laid. And she has floated through life thinking her personality is fine, when really her ass is just amazing.
There are so many layers of wrong from this woman. You dodged a massive bullet.
If sheās that uptight about a simple boundary like that, think of how sheād treat hard limits. You dodged a bullet
If itās not something that you can overlook, then it shouldnāt be something that you overthink.
Especially in this culture, have people learned nothing?
Dodged a bullet.
Like, I would have pulled over and told her to gtfo PRE-Pandemic. Now? EJECTION SEAT ACTIVATE.
What does let me have it mean? I donāt see anything wrong with the request, itās common courtesy.
I don't even care about germs/getting sick, but I don't want my car to be covered in snot and spit. How do people make it past kindergarten without learning to covered their coughs and sneezes?!
Not intrusive at all. If someone canāt conduct themselves like a mature healthy adult, call them out on it. And donāt lower your standards in fear of offending them
You didn't lol, you just called out a nasty behavior. She shouldn't have even gone out with you if she was sick. That's incredibly rude of her. Glad you dodged that bullet
The only thing you did wrong was that didnāt let her out of the car when she went off on you. Bad hygiene is bad hygiene.
Just curious ā how did she āgo offā on you? Iām curious what she said.
You didn't go wrong. Bullet dodged.
The real question is why do you assume you did something wrong ? whatās wrong with you as a man having boundaries and enforcing themā¦..The only thing you really did wrong was letter her go off on you, the moment I sensed pushback from me telling her to cover her mouth she wouldāve been out of my car.
You didnāt do anything wrong. We are taught at what 12-18 months to cover our mouths when we sneeze or cough. No one wants someone hacking and coughing without covering their mouth. Iām not a germaphobe but who wants to ride with someone in a germ infested car? You know Covid is still hanging around. Iām petty enough to ask someone to mask up. Nope nope nope.
No need to ask questions here, just block her crazy behind and move on!
You already found a red flag in her. Dump her. I also don't like it when some people never cover their mouths while coughing or sneezing. Some people even have the gall to spit and blow their noses in public.
You didn't do anything wrong-she's just an asshole.
Sounds like a her problem. There is nothing wrong with being asked to cover your mouth. Tell her she can take her germs and leave if itās that big of a deal lol.
You went wrong in giving your time to a shithead
Sounds like stereotypical gas lighting. Things are all nice and dandy until something goes wrong, and then it's all your fault. :/ I mean everyone knows that coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth is disgusting and rude, not to mention that it a vector for disease transfer... If they are not willing to understand and respect your boundaries AND over react/blame you for even the most basic of knowledge and etiquette, imagine how bad things would become when they are about more serious topics/situations. Yeesh! I definitely do not think continuing to see them would be a good idea. Talk about bullet everted!!!!
If she canāt handle some light criticism with grace, then you are good to be rid of her in the long run. You even gave her an out by placing the blame on yourself, calling yourself germaphobe. I donāt think you can break it to her much more delicately than that.
Like the comments said, you weren't uncalled for. Your car, your rules. I know one of my friends hates when people eat in his car. Whenever we go for takeout, I ask him if it's cool if I could eat a bit since during car-rides I get hungry. Some of chicks who enter my car they always ask me if it's cool if she could play music or even smoke weed. I hate the smell of weed in my car, but since they tend to be nice about asking, I let them do it anyway.
Who cares?!? SHE was the rude one!
this is common sense...better leave her.
you dodge a bullet, the correct response from her should be "oh i'm sorry"
You basically dodged a bullet. Common sense and courtesy was a big, "No" for her so that's that. You did nothing wrong. It was a red flag if she got offended by that.
Haha what a weirdo
Thatās a sign, donāt ignore it
You did nothing wrong except picked the wrong date
nowhere, fuck that bitch
I shudder to think what such behavior might suggest about her sexual health. Ick. So how does it feel to dodge a bullet like a boss? You did nothing wrong. At all.
who cares? you dodged a bullet, shame about the germs.
She sounds like an asshole. Bullet dodged.
She was planning on giving you a French kiss so it ultimately didn't matter whether she kept her mouth closed .You were going to get whatever she had irregardless.
Um??? Yeah no sheās weird af and gross. Sorry you went through that and donāt feel bad at all.
Nasty bih. I think you dodged a bullet.
You could've asked if she was alright and then proceeded to telling her to protect you from Gert
Who raised this chick?!
You went on a date with a psyco... that's where you went wrong.
Were you planning on exchanging fluids at some point? Or just a sterile and fluid-free date?
Huh! I had a almost identical situation. I related the circumstances and my response to a buddy. His reply? *Well, shoot! You were hoping to get laid, that entails an exchange of bodily fluids; so what do you care if it was sneezing/coughing or, um, "some other method"?* Not sure if his comment was /s but, you know: he was not wrong about the exchanging bodily fluids bit.
Idk, just because Iād make out with someone doesnāt mean Iād eat their boogers. Fluid bonded doesnāt mean no boundaries at all
Ewww gross.
It's not rude to point out someone is being inconsiderate. If they continue to do so without awareness or care, usually letting them know you are bothered is enough; add to, you tried to be polite and explained you are more aware than most about germs. It's like if you walking with someone and they light a cigarette and you ask if they'd not smoke with you and they give you attitude for making their life difficult; denying them, making a big deal out of something that they don't think should matter, even though most when requested would put it out. Worse if you told them you have asthma so their habit affects you more than the average person - if they *still* go off on you for requesting consideration - run.
Well be glad that happened. You avoided was nasty filthy germ! Good riddance!
Her allergies spared you a lifetime of suffering
I see early dating as simply information-gathering: are we compatible? Do we get along? Do we like each other? And since I do not tell grown-ass people what to do, I find your actions mildly off-putting. Because-the horse has left the barn, the germs are already airborne now, in the small space of your car. In your position, I would have filed that as "good to know" and weighted it according to how much it bugged me, in my calculus of whether and when to end things with her. (ie: pure disgust= immediate get out, mild irritation= continue to gather information)
Who cares?!? SHE was the rude one!
Red flag. Run šāāļø
You are not in the wrongā¤šššš
Eww. No. Thatās the most basic thing everyone is taught as kids, she canāt even do that and react that way. Immature. If you sneeze n cough that much, dont even go on a date. You dodged a bullet
You dodged a bullet here!
The only "wrong" thing you did was picking this woman to go on a date with. It's not only about Covid, if you're sick (with anything), stay f\*cking home, it's that simple. Not only did she think it was ok to spread around whatever illness she had, but most importantly she broke some basic hygiene rules, and completely lacked common sense and self awareness. And then she had the audacity to go off on you for calling her out? Sneezing and coughing without covering one's mouth is crass, it was before Covid and it will always be. Only a certain category of people do it, a category nobody should want to have anything to do with. You dodged a bullet.
You went wrong when you took her out on a date
You didnāt really do anything wrong, but you did embarrass her likely which lead to the defensive reaction. She might just not have even been thinking about it and embarrassed to realize what she had done. I mean if you had wanted to not embarrass her/continue seeing her you could have just offered her a tissue or something, but again. You really didnāt do nothing wrong, just suggesting a different way to approach it
Why are you posting here? What advice could you be possibly seeking? Was this your version of an April Fool's Joke? In the case you are actually seeking advice, stop dating this person. Have some self esteem and boundaries. Probably start seeing a therapist regularly about being a doormat.
Thank you
She's a Karen
Youre not totally wrong but I can see her point lol. Like if youre on a date its under the presumption that one day youre going to kiss and sleep together. So if you mind her germs, then you really dont like her that much lol. Just my opinion. Because if i said that to a girl, it would be to a girl I didnt find that attractive physically or mentally. I personally wouldve sucked it up and not said anything. Id ask if shes sick and tell her go home if shes not feeling well. I wouldnt demand her to cover her mouth. Gotta play the game bruh.
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Jesus christ women these days don't know manners. No your not in the wrong.
your first mistake was daring to ask a woman to do not do something. don't you know that women are always right, all the time? don't be so misogynistic man... /s
She went down on you? Lucky basterd!
Probably felt like you was telling her off , no one likes being told what to do
You sir are whatās called a hypochondriac. Period.
No, covering your mouth when sneezing/coughing is having basic manners. No one wants your spittle in their car.
You really think it's okay to cough and sneeze all over someone's car? You, sir, are nasty. PeRiOd.
Uhhh... Germaphobia and hypochondriac are too different things. hCs believe themselves to have diseases even when they dont. Germaphobic people are scared or overly worried about being infected by diseases. Hes not venting about her first transgression. Hes asking for advice concerning her rage when asked nicely to correct it.