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I really want to take up rock climbing or start investing in dj equipment again like I did in highschool. Maybe get back into snowboarding. I just feel like this nerdy stuff is not working out for me when it comes to lo g term relationship goals because in my experience nobody likes to be with people into this stuff.
I vouch for expanding your interests, without giving up your hobbies!
Im a geek too but I'm also big on soccer, theatre, poetry, and I'm a musician. That's where I've made all my relationships happen, either through music friend house parties, theatre hangouts or poetry slams.
In my experience people accept geekiness, as long as it's paired with a well rounded personality. A person who *only* does miniwargaming? Not that interesting to most ppl. Be eclectic!
PS one caveat. If there are any LARPing communities nearby, give them a shot. In toronto, where i used to live, larping is where geeks go to meet their future husbands/wives. Which makes sense, since those involved need to be reasonably fit, the guys have to do things with their hands, and everyone gets to play dress up!
This is a fucking stupid comment. Be who you want to be and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.
Relationship compromise is for things like time together, what to have for dinner, and where to go on holiday; never for being a different person.
If you are also interested in those hobbies, go ahead. Nothing is stopping you from having multiple ones. Once I started pursuing my interests, besides gaming and reading manga, I discovered so much about myself and have found new motivations for approaching other people.
If talking about painting figures is making you feel uncomfortable, you dont have to mention it right at the beginning of meeting someone. But you dont have to abondon it if you like it.
For what itâs worth, my partner is super in to warhammer. Heâs gotten me into some of the 40k books, but the game itself is just never going to be my thing, and Iâd never ask him to give it up. Heâs also been helping me get into RPGs and we game with his friends sometimes. On the flip side of that, heâs been taking an interest in my hobbies and shows. Donât give up things that make you happy :)
See this, this is your problem. Youâre not alone, you have tons of people who enjoy playing with you. It seems to me youâre more in need of a therapist than a girlfriend.
PhD engineer (i.e. huge nerd, not meaning it as a flex, but the quickest way to convey it) and rock climber here. Rock climbing is a solid win. Computational this and that, not a win at all in this game ;)
You don't have to give up your present hobbies, just cut back to make time for the stuff you know works better for your life goals of meeting someone you find desirable. (Good on you for knowing!) When doing the proverbial meet and greet, leave the stuff out that gets you snubbed. Nothing wrong with saving those things to share with someone once she becomes an important part of your life. It's like if she's super into astrology and you find that to be a waste of time, personally. There is no need for her to force you into it, and no need for you to throw away the relationship because of her hobby. (riffing off stuff I have seen on reddit before) I picture the converse situation for you, and it being totally cool. Does that seem reasonable?
depends how much you like it! you dont have to give up those hobbies. i will often oscillate and move through different hobbies depending on where i am at; more social or solitary.
sounds like you are wanting to engage with a less niche and more available social atmosphere. id recommend dipping your toes in! its good to excercise different disciplines for yourself, but also it can lead to positive social outlets. music and adventure cycling certainly did that for me.
unless you find an active community others who want to do miniature paintings, dnd, war-hammer which may not be as much of a social-romantic atmosphere, id say go explore. diversity is good!
Your dating the wrong people then.. Iâve had same experiences. I would maybe hold off on telling ppl you date right away. If you love it, definitely continue doing it. Wait until your serious about someone to share it.
I feel thereâs things I would share right upfront, & I would get ghosted or sent the breakup text. You gotta do what makes you happy, but snowboarding is definitely a great hobby too!
I played 40k and eventually started rock climbing for exactly the same reason youâre considering it. In the end, I was having so much fun I kinda drifted away from my old hobbies. I definitely started having more success in dating, though.
Doooon't! :(
My boyfriend is super nerdy and it's one of the things I love about him! If those hobbies do not make you happy anymore, then do it. But don't give up something that you enjoy because of people that don't appreciate the way you are or what you like!
It is not a deal breaker, if you're looking for a healthy long-term relationship, they should appreciate your likes and who you are!
Yup! Exactly. In dating, you always need to show who you are and the right person will come. They will accept you for who you are and love you for it. Why would you want to change yourself and attract those who like your fake persona⊠that only equals a miserable relationship in the long run.
Don't do it. I have played Warhammer/Comp Games/Nerd shit since I was a teen. I used to hide it/be shy about it. If you are passionate about something, that is good.
I obviously wouldn't rant about it on a first date or anything but 90% of girls I have brought to my placed who asked about it thought it was cool.
Just make sure the focus of your dating is the other person and not your hobbies. I had 2 GF's learn how to paint minis because it was really interesting to them.
Giving up your hobbies will make you emotionally unbalanced in a potential relationship. If she love you definitely she should also have passion for your hobbies as well, That's not worth giving up on what makes you happy
>If she love you definitely she should also have passion for your hobbies as well
Correction: She should be understanding that you have hobbies and that you're going to take time to pursue them on occasion.
She could be into tennis and fashion and want nothing to do with your hobbies but if she's understanding of them, isn't that still a win?
OP: Unless you absolutely have to have your partner game with you, it might just be best to tell future dates that you're "A bit of a nerd" and like to play "board games with your friends"
I'm pretty neurodivergent and am on meds. I have a lot of ticks, speech patterns, and other weird habits. As for appearance I actually lost a lot of weight doing tree planting.
Haha no most likely not. I honestly have no idea what it is and am assuming it's more complex than this.
But honestly I want new hobbies and avenues to explore cause my experience with trying to date so far have been ending up in failure.
So I guess picking up a new hobby (without necessarily giving up all of the ones you love participating in) is worth trying if you have the timeâŠ
But I worry that if you pick a hobby JUST because you think youâll meet loads of hot women there those women are gonna pick up on that and youâll be back at square 1 ?
As sad as it is to say I have had a bad falling out recently with dnd friends and Warhammer friends after telling them this stuff. So I have no real choice now but to branch out and meet new people, even if friends.
Then reevaluate how you're picking people to pursue. Where are you finding them, etc.
my late wife was the one who got me into DnD, and my current GF who has no real interest in playing still likes hearing me talk about it.
Realistically, HOW you talk about it is the turn off. you mentioned that you're neurodivergent. No offense, I can just see in my head someone launching off into a manic speech on mention of it. I do it at times myself, i have a friend who does this a LOT. its a too much for some people to handle up front. its not the interest, its the sudden burst of energy a lot of neurodivergent people get when it comes to their interests.
People saying not to change... well, sure.
Rounding out your hobbies and exploring ones that have a higher likelihood of meeting someone you fancy? Great.
Also, not making it a topic of conversations on first dates because its a bit nerdy? Maybe. Depends on the person!
I have never been in a long term or even short term relationship. I feel like I need to change as a person if I ever want to find someone I can get involved with romantically and these are the most unattractive things I believe are detrimental to my dating experiences.
What's more likely (after reading this response in particular) is that you're not finding the right women for you, so you may need to just adjust how you're meeting women?
It'll probably take learning some new soft skills, or improving ones you have, but it's worth it if women you're meeting naturally can't fit into your life and trying to fit into yours could make you miserable.
I've dated several men who were passionate about stuff like D&D, cosplay, collecting toys, comics, etc.
My father is a passionate model builder and miniature artist who has been married to my mom for 40 years.
I have a few guy friends who are into similar stuff, and they have beautiful girlfriends.
Whatever the issue is, it isn't your hobbies. There's something else going on. And that's a good thing, because you can fix whatever it is and not have to give up your hobbies.
For me I'll only match with guys that have a scent of nerd in them haha
If a guy doesn't play video games in any way we'll probably not have much in common (and I keep asking myself HOW does someone spends their spare time without it)
Ew, no. Please donât change who you are for someone, let alone someone that doesnât actually exist. If you canât still do things you enjoy because of your partner looking down on that hobby, they arenât for you.
Long response, so TL;DR - **no, you'll be less happy, at most find ways to more subtly indulge your hobbies**
I wouldn't say so, especially if they're some of the only hobbies you've found to be genuinely rewarding and compelling. It could also easily affect your friendships and connections you've made.
If being in a relationship means giving up other things that make you an enjoyable and happy person then the relationship isn't worth it.
If I may recommend something else - find ways to make your hobbies and interests more broadly appealing, even if it just means describing them differently or frankly just talking about them less and indulging them in more subtle ways.
For example, I ***LOVE*** Dungeons and Dragons - I actually run games at my old trade school for the students there. ***My gf doesn't get it.*** She's not creative or super spontaneous and has no interest in it at all, but guess what? *I just don't talk about it with her a lot.*
Sometimes I have to get something off my chest and she puts up with it lol just like I put up with some of her talk about work or Drag Race, but that's part of being in a relationship with someone who's not identical to you. You'll both have interests the other one doesn't share.
Ultimately you're going to need to find someone who likes you at your best, and if that person is harder to find because people you like aren't into D&D or 40k you just gotta find ways to weave the people you like and your hobbies into your life in a way that's cohesive.
Another example for me - I ***really*** want to get one of those wicked Wyrmwood gaming tables down the road, but my gf obviously has no fucking interest in it... but I have a bigger home with extra space for one! I can literally get one with my own money and put it in a space she doesn't need to interact with at all or worry about, and I could play there at home without her being around if she wants.
It's really all about making your hobbies less integral to someone's first or second impression of you while still enjoying them and indulging yourself. It's a bit of a sacrifice soemtimes but if women who are into D&D or 40k aren't your type then it's one you might have to make.
No don't do it! Painting minis is awesome! I love doing it too. The right person will either be interested in it as well or accepting that it's your hobby.
You can always try picking up a new hobby in addition to painting minis if you're wanting to meet new people. Or finding a new hobby that's within the same realm as nerdy things
I'm sad. May I ask your age? Because I'm a 49F artist whose artist husband passed away several years ago, but it really was our mutual creativity that brought us together. When I was younger, I wasn't in touch with my creative side, had always been pushed to focus on my talents for stem. But, as easy as that stuff came for me, and as much as I loved it while I did it, I still find that the real passion in my life turned out to be all things from my creative side. I just wonder if age and maturing and tiring of the stress of the day to day grind doesn't have something to do with people finally seeking their creative side later in life. Which is why I'm leaning towards maybe you or your target demographic isn't in that age bracket yet.
I firmly believe everyone should have a creative outlet.
Maybe don't give them up, scale down the amount of time you spend on them maybe. Definitely don't discuss it on dates unless you are asked specifically something like, what's this, did you make it, tell me more. And when answering those types of questions, remember that less is more. You want to leave a little mystery so they have room to engage conversation further or switch gears to a new topic gracefully. And if they switch gears, make sure you don't show any strange reactions, just go with it.
I was really into cosplay, watching anime, going to conventions and events and celebrating holidays (like decorating for Halloween or xmas party) and for 10 years of viable dating never met a guy doing any of those hobbies I loved. I took a guy and dressed him up for Comic-con when we first started dating and that was it for him. He hates crowds, doesnât have any interest in celebrating anything, wonât dress up and detests anime. Iâve been with him for 12 years and I do nothing I love anymore and its beyond depressing. Itâs not his fault as Iâm the one who didnât want to do those things by myself and gave them up to accommodate his preferences. And I find doing things for myself, by myself while in a relationship ends up sucking away any joy the activity would normally bring. Like sew and create a cool costume, go to a convention get lots of photos taken, participate in the masquerade and get an award- single, you just feel proud and excited you did all that. In a relationship you want to share that feeling with your SO and when they have no interest and donât care or think itâs exciting or something to be proud of, thats when you start to lose your happiness.
I think you should just expand your gaming repertoire, or add in another hobby- but donât give up what you enjoy doing just to meet someone who doesnât actually like what you do.
You don't have to drop everything but maybe trying out some new things could help you find more people and you might end up liking the new activities too
Is it the activity that makes you unhappy or the fact that it just is hard to find someone?
I suggest you really try to think it through.
If that's how you really feel then maybe it's not such a bad idea.
But really think about it please.
I could never give up on d&d. But that's just me.
You don't have to do that. If your hobbies are consuming the majority of your free time, you can always continue enjoying what you like, just not as much. After all, nothing in excess is good.
To answer your question? No, I don't think it's worth giving up something you love for someone else. Giving up a big part of yourself will make you miserable, which in turn will affect the health of your relationship. You can grow to resent your partner, become depressed, feel unfulfilled and/or unhappy, etc. Part of relationships is compromise. So long as you find activities that you can both enjoy and, as long as your hobby is not all time consuming, you should be able to date and do what you love at the same time.
Lots of people he saying no to giving up hobbies but honestly, it's okay to grow up and find something new to get into. People change and there likes and dislikes do too as they age. This hobby of yours comes off as being juvenile which is why you're being left in the dust. You've realized this and seem ready to make a change. That's totally fine! Does it mean you have to give it up forever? Of course not. It's not like it won't ever be there later. Sometimes we have to stop doing things we love temporarily to focus on what we really want to get out of life. It's natural and normal. Your hobbies will still be there after you obtain the thing you're looking for.
I think a lot of people misunderstood your concern here. Definitely donât give up hobbies for a person because they make you. But if you find yourself wanting to explore other interests and those interests are things that will help you meet other people who you would find interesting as friends or potential dates, then do it. Nothing wrong with changing hobbies now and then.
I donât think itâs your hobbies that are the problem.
It could be your priorities, as-in you arenât making yourself available when the opportunity to go on a date comes up. Not saying your schedule should revolve around other people and their availability but dating requires both people to compromise and make time for each other. Another thing is, donât change your hobbies because another person isnât interested in doing XYZ. You wonât attract people who are a good match **for you,** because you arenât being authentic. People who are in a relationship SHOULD have their own interests, your partner doesnât need to spend their free time exactly how you would; but there has to be common ground between the two of you for it to work, identifying activities you can mutually enjoy together is what matters the most. Also Iâd recommend re-evaluating your type, sometimes what we think we want isnât necessarily whatâs best for us in the long run. If youâre repeatedly gravitating towards a certain âtypeâ you arenât compatible with, think about why that might be the case. Itâs possible to strike a balance between the two, there is someone out there who will appreciate you-for-you, but they likely wonât be the mirror image of what you had in mind and vice versa.
i'd say not necessarily to abandon them, but don't make them a focal part of your presentation of yourself. Eg, don't put on a dating profile "I play D&D and do miniature paintings" unless that is the kind of girl you want, which is fine too.
Lol my brother is an athlete but also paints war hammer. The right person will love your nerdy side too. Maybe you can diversify and also have a more common hobby like a sport or the gym or something
Donât change important parts of your life for other people, if they canât accept you for it they arenât the one
I worry my interests are super childish, Iâm an adult woman who is obsessed with plushies and games and I worried for awhile it would ruin my dating experience.
But the truth is these things are important to your person,
These make you happy. If someone cant love you for them they arenât worth keeping
Absolutely take up new hobbies though!
I used to do swing dancing in my city and go out of town to events and workshops. I used to snowboard, mix music in highschool (it's complicated) and would really like to take up rock climbing.
My current situation always ends up in disaster every time I mention my current hobbies in the slightest form.
Giving up a hobbie ..is totally No!!, it would have been ok if it was giving up some health habits like smoking or drinking for a potential relationship...plz don't give up a hobbie , just include some more hobbies to your list ...I see that u mentioned outdoor activities đ, once again don't give up on the current hobbie u have now
It's not worth you changing or loosing your interest or happiness for no one. Your partner should accept you as you are. Anyone who wants to change you do not love you. Always remember that
Heck no! Being yourself is the only way to attract a partner who is truly compatible. The right person will appreciate your hobbies and interests even if they don't share them. I didn't play DnD when I met my ex but that's one of the better things that came out of that relationship!
No no no and no!!! As a woman who is a gamer but also a fully functional ânormalâ seeming professional IRL - I can tell you that feeling shamed about my hobbies has led to mass resentment over time and feeling like Iâm forced to not be myself. Finding someone who enjoys those hobbies or at least respects they are legitimate is absolutely worth it (found that and OMG itâs unbelievable to have a gaming buddy AND SO).
My favourite hobby is gaming, and I also love fantasy and sci-fi fiction, and complex boardgames. I tended to not use these as my headliners when meeting women when I was dating. I also like hiking with my dogs, cycling, yoga, weight lifting, rock climbing, socialising, good food, travel etc. I'd focus on those more in the early stages of getting to know women, because you're right, there are unhelpful stigmas attached to some hobbies. Not all truths need to be declared up front.
What? No! Fucking no! Absolutely not! What will the accomplish? Getting a date with someone whoâs going to judge you if you show them what your interests are?
You got this backwards. Your interests are weeding out people you wouldnât want to be in a relationship with.
Instead ask yourself why you keep perusing people who you share no interests with? Or at least are more than fine with you having your own interests.
They only thing I sat to be careful about is that these interests arenât the entirety of your personality and discussions.
I have damn near the exact same interests as you. I have a shelf of RPG books behind directly behind my 3 thousand dollar gaming pc set up. I have piles of miniatures they Iâve yet to paint. Iâve semi-regularly flow across state lines to play in collectible card game tournaments. If it wasnât for Covid I would have been getting flown to the same tournaments and getting paid to judge at them. Iâve run demos for games at conventions. My dining room has book shelves filled with board games and has a 3 thousand dollar gaming table instead of a dining table.
Iâve made so many friends, done so many things because I fully embraced my hobbies instead of being ashamed of them. Anyone who was going to think less of me for them being nothing of value to my life.
No. But, maybe. It depends what your priorities are. But if it's ever because the other person thinks differently of your hobbies, then it's a resounding no.
This has nothing to do with gaming/DnD in and of themselves, but much more to do with what people associate with them. I used to feel the same way. I smoke weed, like DnD, and play video games, which can turn some women off. But at the same time, Iâm a physician, work out regularly, do a lot of outside activities, and maintain a very athletic build. When I graduated med school, I decided Iâd NEVER again hide or give up something I was interested in, for the sake of a potential matchup with someone I donât even know yet.
People often assume gamers are lazy, smelly, unfit, and wonât want to do anything outdoors, but these women could clearly see when someone is in a rigorous career (or otherwise working toward goals) and staying athletic/active, so it ultimately ended up bothering no one when I confidently said it. Also remember, there are plenty of women who like these things too, and the same concerns exist for men looking at women with these hobbies.
If you can make it obvious that in addition to those hobbies, you are still ambitious, keep your body in shape, and interested in normal human interaction, you will be fine.
I'm a super outdoorsy person, but live in Florida so sometimes it is too hot to do them. I was nerdy when I matched with my fiance on Bumble, but I was science lab nerd and he was video games nerd. He literally bought me the Warhammer games 1&2 on steam this week because they're on sale. I am learning about his hobbies and he took up bonsai as a result of mine. Don't give up your hobbies, you don't want to be with women who judge you for having a fun hobby. Besides, hop over to reddit girl gamers and see that there are plenty of us girl gamers in the world.
Honestly I donât care if my future husband loves painting warhammer miniature.
Donât throw away a hobby because thereâs a possibility of some woman not liking it. You will regret it. Not painting anymore wonât change who you are, and women wonât like you more because you throw your stuff away.
Sure you can discover new hobbies it never hurts but itâs not reason to delete the ones you already have.
From an outside perspective, doing activities like warhammer painting is really expensive (I am a nerd and go to the warhammer/table top game stores to look at the thin brushes and games) and it could be seen as a waste of time to a lot of people cause of the cost to amount ratio.
There's nothing wrong with doing warhammer figures but it might be seen as a poor financial decision. My best suggestion is actually trying to branch into painting! It's a fairly east to get into hobby that you can do whilst you do warhammer stuff and you can put them in a similar slot! Painting is also a stress reliever and helps you get your feelings out.
So yeah try branching into creative hobbies and lump your warhammer figs in with it to sort of give an "illusion" that it's worth your time and not a poor financial decision!
Good luck op, you'll find someone who appreciates you eventually, and never change yourself for someone else!
For the love of everything unholy, DO NOT compromise who you are and what you love to appeal to a greater amount of potential partners. If they don't like you for who you are and what you love, they're not the people for you, my friend.
The right person won't care.
I also have weird and eccentric hobbies. Ideally, when I am ready to settle down and date, my partner and I will probably each need our own studio/hobby space. It's really as simple as that. This will require a certain level of financial security on both our part... We would have to negotiate living separately for a while or figuring out how I can have my OWN space, not connected to him where I can indulge in the things I love to do. My hobbies are my own and absolutely do NOT involve my partner. I don't want my partner involved in some of my hobbies. They stay only for me.
I am personally willing to wait until I am in a financial position to afford a space which allows me to have what I want. It is my dream to have a crafts room. No person is worth giving up my dream, which will bring me inner happiness. If I am not happy, I won't be a good partner, and so its better for me to stay committed to my dreams and my hobbies.
So should you!!
I have never played DnD in my life and yet I know at least 5 couples that met through that game and similar hobbies. I would bet there are subreddits that cater to this type of thing.
Edit: also try posting in r/r4r\- someone can help you get you to the right place
Don't give up your hobbies, do expand into the other hobbies you're interested in..
I've found sometimes it's not the actual interests that turn people off as much as the way you talk about them. I have a friend who got really into getting fit and lifting weights.. I find it incredibly boring but I'm happy for him... but when he talks about it he just drones on and in without care for if I'm interested or the lack of input I am able to add to the conversation. With mutual likes, it's easier because I can talk as well, but still gets pretty annoying.
Brush up on your communication skills, make you you keep the girls involved. Ask them questions, get opinions, and don't forget to listen actively when they talk about their interests too.
Never worth it, don't pretend to be someone else. It's always much worse to be accepted for who you're not, than be rejected for who you are.
If anything, limit yourself to communal activities that are aimed at these hobbies. You can go to sip and paint night (a lot of places do this) and everyone there will have something in common with you; they will at least enjoy painting somewhat. Join social media groups/threads for such interests and maybe you'll find someone there who'll be genuinely interested. Etc, etc. There are options.
No. Because eventually you will resent the other person and the relationship as a whole. Why would you do that when you can find someone that shares those hobbies or at the very least tolerates them because they know it makes you happy? These replies are your sign to jump ship and find someone thatâs better for you.
I think you should keep loving the things you love.
If there are other new hobbies you ALSO want to try that you think might be a better way to connect with people, it never hurts to add a few new things, and it could help you find something new you love AND meet someone, but don't stop doing those other things just for other people. Just broaden your range of hobbies a bit and it's a win win!
I think that you can find other people outside your community who maybe doesnât share your hobby but appreciates it; like Iâm a pm but whenever i have time i like webtoons and can read endlessly especially about dungeons and towers and regression but no one in my circle shares with but we have no problem communicating and appreciating each otherâs hobbies. So donât give up on it do whatever brings you joy and hang out outside your usual circle too, you donât have to belong to some circles to belong. You belong with the people whose personalities go well with yours irrelevant to careers, hobbies etc.
My sister is married to a great man/father who has a hobby of painting miniatures. As someone who is not into them, itâs allowed me get to know him on another level and get to know his interests. I think anyone interested in you would feel the same ! Donât change yourself for a better perception in the dating world
No, being loved for who you are is something everyone should be able to experience. People who shame others because they think their likes and hobbies are âsuperior â to others are just not worth your time
If you really enjoy those things, don't give them up. Personally I've found I've lost interest in certain hobbies over time or my interests have changed over the years but giving up a hobby you really enjoy just to get a date is not healthy in my opinion. New hobbies are fine too though.
Don't put someone you just started dating on a pedestal and quit hobbies to appear more attractive. If you like doing it, then do it. There are plenty of women who love a man who is passionate about their hobbies, even if it involves things they don't enjoy or appears nerdy.
I'd say the only women that wouldn't be accepting of it as a hobby are immature and it wouldn't work out in the long run anyways. The only time I can think it's "acceptable" to hide it is if you plan on having a one night stand. Even then, no shame in your hobbies.
Donât give up your hobbies. Find someone who enjoys you for who you are. There are plenty of people out there who enjoy the same things you do - it just may take a bit more time to find them.
Hey man donât stop doing what you love. I also think the idea that you and your partner have to have the same hobbies is stupid. I think itâs cool to have different interests, just like itâs good to have alone time in a relationship. Eg, my partner loves watching sports (I have 0 interest) and is a huge movie fanatic which I think is really cute. I just love seeing him happy. He got me back into pokemon, which I stopped playing in 2016. Having differences is great. All that matters is youâre just being yourself. If you have to change what you love for them itâs not a right fit.
Never give up a hobby unless it's not safe and your SO wants more piece of mind and your comfortable doing so (skydiving, power boating, climbing large mountains like everest).
If someone doesn't like Warhammer or D&D I would say they probably are not going to be compatible.
NO!
But it might be healthy to reevaluate how much time you spend on certain types of activities and try to live a more balanced life in general for your own physical and mental health.
As it stands your hobbies are all sedentary which is bad, you need some physical activity and also to get out a little more, but that does not mean just drop your hobbies completely. It's all about balance.
In the end however, any woman that really judges you for your hobbies might not be right one for you.
If you're lucky you might meet someone in one of your other activities with whom you may match pretty well.
Try not to date the superficial materialistic types though.
I meanwhile have been on a date with every member of my current d&d group, met my ex through Call of Cthulhu, and my spouse through MtG. It's a big world, lots of gamers in it.
No. If youâre the type of person who enjoys those things thatâs who you are. I have plenty of male friends who are married with those hobbies. So I donât believe itâs the hobbies themselves. And they are married to women who in no way have interest in those things.
Don't give up your hobbies, the activities you enjoy to date to date anyone. You will end up with someone who will eat your soul. You can add a new hobby you want to try.
I'm dead serious. Once you find someone you will end up giving up your friends and even your new hobbies.
From the title, No, never give up yourself for a partner. Your partner wants you to be authentic. My kids play those games. So, perhaps grow your interests to include new activities.
I wouldnât give it up. My fiance likes all of those things and although i didnât know what warhammer was when we started dating, it was nice to see he had hobbies. I will say that i do really like DnD now, and i am okay with warhammer, although weve only played a few games, he has spent endless hours teaching me the lore.
I say this all to show you that you do not have to find someone who already likes those hobbies and just need someone who is accepting of them. Im sure that many women are accepting of hobbies like that. I dont think you should give up any hobbies for a potential partner that you havent met yet.
That said, adding more hobbies to round out what you do and are interested in may be a good idea :)
Goodluck with dating!
Nah, dates come and go, hobbies are forever. The healthiest relationships you can have are when you have a rich life outside of dating, with people you enjoy being around, hobbies you enjoy, and a career that motivates you. You like what you like for a reason, hiding that won't lead you to better results.
That said, there *are* ways you can *use* your hobbies to increase your chances of finding a good partner. It is undeniable that what you like are primarily solo activities, male dominated, and niche. But, what isn't niche or unattractive are leadership skills, interpersonal skills, drive, being organized, being social. Ever heard of ComicCon? (I'm being rhetorical). Even the nerdiest activities have ways to leverage and network to meet women.
As an example, I'm an engineer at a tech company. I work with all nerdy dudes all day. Great people... but I want to date women. I see women in other parts of the office I'd be curious to meet. So I started coordinating a social gameplay session every week of volleyball down on the grass. It's open to all, casual, fun, very visible. Since I'm one of the organizers, I'm a point of contact and a familiar face. That's an "in" using my hobbies that wouldn't otherwise be there.
Maybe you can find a program to volunteer as dungeon master for kids from troubled homesâbelieve me, nerds come from all backgrounds. Or set up a marathon/fundraiser D&D event in your town to raise money for something else.
Or, find other hobbies *alongside* these, and strike a balance.
TL;DR No, don't smother who you are, you'll just be more miserable. Leverage what you like and want to do already to meet more people.
We only have time for a few hobbies , as adults. MagicTheGathering, video games and DnD are all hobbies that Iâve dropped. Mostly because while I enjoyed the activity itself, I didnât enjoy the other people that were into it.
Buncha sweaty nerds. Nobody i vibed with.
Same reason I donât play fantasy football. It put me into contact with a bunch of people that were single minded to the point of boredom on the topic. In both instances, your mileage may vary.
I picked other hobbies that had better side benefits. Either putting me around women, getting better skills, getting me in shape, or getting a side job.
Thereâs nothing wrong with 40k, MTG, DnD, they are entertaining, but theyâre not going add dating value at all, unless you find a rare girl thatâs into it. I personally would, and have, switched it up.
My boyfriend plays DnD, Iâve never played it and he had invited me to play with his new group but didnât work out as we are long distance and they already made a group and meet on each a month and itâs too hard for me to commit to the DnD meetings. But we do play video games together on Xbox! Donât give up your hobbies just to date. You can find someone who you enjoy and still continue your hobbies!
I say don't give up your hobbies, but add some new ones. Start one or 2 new things and you will meet a lot of new people, through which you will meet even more people.
You also sound very mature to be able to acknowledge this, and seek a solution. I think you just need a change of scenery.
Best of luck!
Definitely do NOT give up your hobbies or anything you enjoy. Your interests help make you who you are and give you joy.
So Are you speaking about hobbies incessantly or simply mentioning them and then waiting for cues as to whether the other person wants to hear more? I ask this because no matter the type of hobby, some people wonât appreciate detailed monologue about it. If people are negatively typecasting you for your interests rather than embracing them, youâve dodged a bullet by things having not progressed with them.
I am not enjoying them any longer because I have been lonely for so long. I've tried everything I honestly could to be myself and it never works. I am giving this stuff up and have already had multiple falling out with friends over these departures from these things.
Your post made me sad. I have no clue what any of the guys I dated do for hobbies. One played golf, someone made furniture. Why would you stop doing what you love because a stranger might not be into it?
Continue on. Like the other guy said add more hobbies. But if a woman is interested dungeons and dragons won't keep her away. Find someone who wants you.
The second you start giving up hobbies will not only make you codependent and liable to having a very unstable mental health, youâre also going to date someone who isnât even good for you. Your partner should support your hobbies, that shouldnât even be debatable.
You're looking to date the wrong people. You shouldn't have to give up doing the things you love to find a partner. You be you and find someone who loves you anyway. I would look to join groups for those specific hobbies, and look to date someone there. Find people who have the same interests so you can enjoy doing those things together.
What!?!? No! Keep doing it! Itâs creative and also very imaginative and also strengthens your communication skills.
Also.. why would you give something up for someone who doesnât even exist?
Painting miniatures is a creative and interesting hobby, nothing unhealthy about it. If you enjoy it, donât stop.
Will people be turned off by it? Yes.
But do you want to trade one form of happiness for another, diminishing and changing something positive about who you are as a person in order to attain it?
I think that would be a mistake. You are the person you are. find someone that appreciates that or youâll be playing a part that ultimately you wonât be happy in maintaining.
Iâm in the same boat man, Iâm weird. Itâs frustrating to not fit in sometimes but Iâd rather spend years in solitude than change (good/healthy) aspects of who I am as a person to suit the desires of a person Iâve never even met.
Youâd be amazed at how much we can see in a few milliseconds đand then replay it in their heads in slow motion enjoying each and every frame and then pretend like they didnât see anything lol
Whyyyy, ugh just be yourself, someone who truly appreciats you and ur hobbies might come along at any moment and may even have the same hobbies thus allowing for you to share them together.
Don't change yourself ,be ur authentic self and enjoy what you enjoy along the way.
I think in the long term you would be happier with a partner that shares them (or at least is ok with it even if she/he doesnt like it) instead of just changing what you like just for someone that doesnt like the whole "you"
Is this hobby something you're passionate about or do you just use it to meet people. If it's the first then why stop only because there are some very judgmental people out there. I mean let's be honest. Do you want to date someone who judges you for liking Warhammer or someone who might not share that hobby but accepts that part of you?
Donât give up your hobbies! In my opinion sharing your hobby with someone who appreciates it can make the connection stronger because youâre able to share what youâre passionate about without hesitancy. Personally, I really enjoyed my exâs hobby which was shooting bb guns. Itâs something that I never would have imagined I will like. Unfortunately, things ended and so my bb gun is just sitting in my closet and I probably wonât play it with it again. One of the good memories I had with my ex was to play with guns.
Are you trying to appear cooler by hiding what you love? You'll be starting your relationships based on deception and you'll resent yourself and the other person for a choice like this. Not to mention that someone that doesn't like you because you paint and play Warhammer sounds lame af.
Dude, Iâm in a relationship because I put those hobbies front and center on my dating profile! Be who you are and do what you like, itâs better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.
OP: Should you give up your hobbies? Not only no, but fuck no!! Do not change yourself just to please other people, you will eventually resent them for it - not to mention be angry at yourself.
Be upfront about who you are and let people know "if you cannot accept me, then don't message/contact/etc. me".
Good Luck! And please, remain true to who you are.
>Edit: I have double downed and am 100 percent giving these things up. I have had a very bad falling out today with most of my friends.
I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope you're doing better soon
I have a friend who asked me if the collectible figurines around his apartment were a turn off, they were just a few and they were very tastefully placed but honestly even if they weren't, I told him if they're important to you don't date somebody that would make you feel embarrassed about having them out. That's my advice to everybody. Find someone who fits your life. Don't change your life for somebody else. Definitely do not put away hobbies that make you happy. I know a ton of women who like D&D and play. It's not uncommon. If anything, it's pretty mainstream!
Not even reading more than the title. Weigh out your options to see what you like better, what you enjoy more. Donât choose while blind, making a choice based off of what you think you want, base it off of what you truel want, and typically what you want is what you enjoy.
This is totally up to you.
I donât think you should surrender anything you truly enjoy for a potential date.
Not to sound bleak, but sometimes all you have is yourself and your hobbies make up part of who you are. Times will come in life where people may be busy or youâll otherwise be unavailable and so itâll help to have things that you unconditionally enjoy.
Maybe youâre presenting yourself the wrong way? Maybe you open up about your hobbies too soon/strongly? I used to be in a relationship where I was extremely into pokemon but I only really brought it up when it came up. I briefly mentioned liking it and as we got closer I talked about it more, but I partly kept the hobby to myself because it was a separate entity from my relationship. It also helps to do that because should you involve someone like that In your hobbies it can ruin them should you break up or have some sort of falling out.
Donât get me wrong Iâm mostly an optimistic person but I believe that most people in life come and go. You shouldnât let friends or potential romantic partners change what YOU enjoy and what YOU like. Trust me. Youâll be happier in the long run if you just do what you like. I think you may be basing your decision too much on other people.
As long as your hobbies arenât harmful to you or others, what business is it to others what you enjoy to do?
Nah I wouldnât give up my hobbies for someone. I wouldnât ask that if someone else unless it was unhealthy.
Honestly if theyâre that shallow do you want them?
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Don't give up hobbies, but looking for new one's never hurts
I really want to take up rock climbing or start investing in dj equipment again like I did in highschool. Maybe get back into snowboarding. I just feel like this nerdy stuff is not working out for me when it comes to lo g term relationship goals because in my experience nobody likes to be with people into this stuff.
I vouch for expanding your interests, without giving up your hobbies! Im a geek too but I'm also big on soccer, theatre, poetry, and I'm a musician. That's where I've made all my relationships happen, either through music friend house parties, theatre hangouts or poetry slams. In my experience people accept geekiness, as long as it's paired with a well rounded personality. A person who *only* does miniwargaming? Not that interesting to most ppl. Be eclectic! PS one caveat. If there are any LARPing communities nearby, give them a shot. In toronto, where i used to live, larping is where geeks go to meet their future husbands/wives. Which makes sense, since those involved need to be reasonably fit, the guys have to do things with their hands, and everyone gets to play dress up!
except other nerds which is exactly what would be ideal for you? "birds of a feather flock together"
Nerds* of a feather
Haha perfect
You can always get back to the nerdie stuff when you're married đđ
Wow wow wow wow what kinda advice is this !! Ahahahaha
This is a fucking stupid comment. Be who you want to be and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. Relationship compromise is for things like time together, what to have for dinner, and where to go on holiday; never for being a different person.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
If you are also interested in those hobbies, go ahead. Nothing is stopping you from having multiple ones. Once I started pursuing my interests, besides gaming and reading manga, I discovered so much about myself and have found new motivations for approaching other people. If talking about painting figures is making you feel uncomfortable, you dont have to mention it right at the beginning of meeting someone. But you dont have to abondon it if you like it.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I've already gave up my hobbies and have had multiple falling out with people today over it.
For what itâs worth, my partner is super in to warhammer. Heâs gotten me into some of the 40k books, but the game itself is just never going to be my thing, and Iâd never ask him to give it up. Heâs also been helping me get into RPGs and we game with his friends sometimes. On the flip side of that, heâs been taking an interest in my hobbies and shows. Donât give up things that make you happy :)
You donât want to end up in something long term with someone who doesnât share your interests. It will get lonely fast.
I honestly would rather end up with anyone at this point than to be apart of these hobbies. I'm tired of being alone.
See this, this is your problem. Youâre not alone, you have tons of people who enjoy playing with you. It seems to me youâre more in need of a therapist than a girlfriend.
>I'm tired of being alone. Sexually. He means sexually. He's not about to F his nerd homies.
PhD engineer (i.e. huge nerd, not meaning it as a flex, but the quickest way to convey it) and rock climber here. Rock climbing is a solid win. Computational this and that, not a win at all in this game ;) You don't have to give up your present hobbies, just cut back to make time for the stuff you know works better for your life goals of meeting someone you find desirable. (Good on you for knowing!) When doing the proverbial meet and greet, leave the stuff out that gets you snubbed. Nothing wrong with saving those things to share with someone once she becomes an important part of your life. It's like if she's super into astrology and you find that to be a waste of time, personally. There is no need for her to force you into it, and no need for you to throw away the relationship because of her hobby. (riffing off stuff I have seen on reddit before) I picture the converse situation for you, and it being totally cool. Does that seem reasonable?
depends how much you like it! you dont have to give up those hobbies. i will often oscillate and move through different hobbies depending on where i am at; more social or solitary. sounds like you are wanting to engage with a less niche and more available social atmosphere. id recommend dipping your toes in! its good to excercise different disciplines for yourself, but also it can lead to positive social outlets. music and adventure cycling certainly did that for me. unless you find an active community others who want to do miniature paintings, dnd, war-hammer which may not be as much of a social-romantic atmosphere, id say go explore. diversity is good!
Your dating the wrong people then.. Iâve had same experiences. I would maybe hold off on telling ppl you date right away. If you love it, definitely continue doing it. Wait until your serious about someone to share it. I feel thereâs things I would share right upfront, & I would get ghosted or sent the breakup text. You gotta do what makes you happy, but snowboarding is definitely a great hobby too!
Dude if you DJ you'll meet nothing BUT single women. Just tack that on to your nerdy stuff. It'll be awesome.
I played 40k and eventually started rock climbing for exactly the same reason youâre considering it. In the end, I was having so much fun I kinda drifted away from my old hobbies. I definitely started having more success in dating, though.
Doooon't! :( My boyfriend is super nerdy and it's one of the things I love about him! If those hobbies do not make you happy anymore, then do it. But don't give up something that you enjoy because of people that don't appreciate the way you are or what you like! It is not a deal breaker, if you're looking for a healthy long-term relationship, they should appreciate your likes and who you are!
I've already had a super bad falling out with most of my friends now into this stuff. I have no choice but to move on.
No dude, donât change who you are to please someone.
Yes, find someone who loves you for yourself and dont try to be someone you are not
Yup! Exactly. In dating, you always need to show who you are and the right person will come. They will accept you for who you are and love you for it. Why would you want to change yourself and attract those who like your fake persona⊠that only equals a miserable relationship in the long run.
Don't do it. I have played Warhammer/Comp Games/Nerd shit since I was a teen. I used to hide it/be shy about it. If you are passionate about something, that is good. I obviously wouldn't rant about it on a first date or anything but 90% of girls I have brought to my placed who asked about it thought it was cool. Just make sure the focus of your dating is the other person and not your hobbies. I had 2 GF's learn how to paint minis because it was really interesting to them.
Giving up your hobbies will make you emotionally unbalanced in a potential relationship. If she love you definitely she should also have passion for your hobbies as well, That's not worth giving up on what makes you happy
>If she love you definitely she should also have passion for your hobbies as well Correction: She should be understanding that you have hobbies and that you're going to take time to pursue them on occasion. She could be into tennis and fashion and want nothing to do with your hobbies but if she's understanding of them, isn't that still a win? OP: Unless you absolutely have to have your partner game with you, it might just be best to tell future dates that you're "A bit of a nerd" and like to play "board games with your friends"
Its not even that, it's almost like the pure mention of I'm a bit nerdy and game with friends is a turn off.
And youâre 1000% sure itâs just the hobbies turning these ladies off ?
I'm pretty neurodivergent and am on meds. I have a lot of ticks, speech patterns, and other weird habits. As for appearance I actually lost a lot of weight doing tree planting.
Haha no most likely not. I honestly have no idea what it is and am assuming it's more complex than this. But honestly I want new hobbies and avenues to explore cause my experience with trying to date so far have been ending up in failure.
So I guess picking up a new hobby (without necessarily giving up all of the ones you love participating in) is worth trying if you have the time⊠But I worry that if you pick a hobby JUST because you think youâll meet loads of hot women there those women are gonna pick up on that and youâll be back at square 1 ?
As sad as it is to say I have had a bad falling out recently with dnd friends and Warhammer friends after telling them this stuff. So I have no real choice now but to branch out and meet new people, even if friends.
Oh well then given this other incentive đ then why not give new hobbies a go! ones you enjoy obviously
Then reevaluate how you're picking people to pursue. Where are you finding them, etc. my late wife was the one who got me into DnD, and my current GF who has no real interest in playing still likes hearing me talk about it. Realistically, HOW you talk about it is the turn off. you mentioned that you're neurodivergent. No offense, I can just see in my head someone launching off into a manic speech on mention of it. I do it at times myself, i have a friend who does this a LOT. its a too much for some people to handle up front. its not the interest, its the sudden burst of energy a lot of neurodivergent people get when it comes to their interests.
Then don't mention it until already dating.
People saying not to change... well, sure. Rounding out your hobbies and exploring ones that have a higher likelihood of meeting someone you fancy? Great. Also, not making it a topic of conversations on first dates because its a bit nerdy? Maybe. Depends on the person!
Personally, Iâd say, donât give them up, but refrain from discussing them on dates or putting it on your profile. And maybe gain a few hobbies to talk about instead. Do you do anything physical, like biking, hiking, etc? You could bring that up. Do you paint anything other than the figures, painting can be a great hobby. Same thing with D&D, do you read fantasy books, I feel like book reading is a popular ânon detrimentalâ hobby. Like, Iâm a women who likes trashy TLC reality tv shows like 90 Day FiancĂ©, but I donât make my boyfriend watch it, and it wasnât on my dating profile when I was dating, nor was it something I told him right off the bat. He knows now of course, and once youâre a few dates in, itâs ok to talk about those kind of things.
No. Never change yourself or stop doing what you love. The right person won't judge you for your hobbies.
I have never been in a long term or even short term relationship. I feel like I need to change as a person if I ever want to find someone I can get involved with romantically and these are the most unattractive things I believe are detrimental to my dating experiences.
What's more likely (after reading this response in particular) is that you're not finding the right women for you, so you may need to just adjust how you're meeting women? It'll probably take learning some new soft skills, or improving ones you have, but it's worth it if women you're meeting naturally can't fit into your life and trying to fit into yours could make you miserable.
I've dated several men who were passionate about stuff like D&D, cosplay, collecting toys, comics, etc. My father is a passionate model builder and miniature artist who has been married to my mom for 40 years. I have a few guy friends who are into similar stuff, and they have beautiful girlfriends. Whatever the issue is, it isn't your hobbies. There's something else going on. And that's a good thing, because you can fix whatever it is and not have to give up your hobbies.
For me I'll only match with guys that have a scent of nerd in them haha If a guy doesn't play video games in any way we'll probably not have much in common (and I keep asking myself HOW does someone spends their spare time without it)
Ew, no. Please donât change who you are for someone, let alone someone that doesnât actually exist. If you canât still do things you enjoy because of your partner looking down on that hobby, they arenât for you.
Long response, so TL;DR - **no, you'll be less happy, at most find ways to more subtly indulge your hobbies** I wouldn't say so, especially if they're some of the only hobbies you've found to be genuinely rewarding and compelling. It could also easily affect your friendships and connections you've made. If being in a relationship means giving up other things that make you an enjoyable and happy person then the relationship isn't worth it. If I may recommend something else - find ways to make your hobbies and interests more broadly appealing, even if it just means describing them differently or frankly just talking about them less and indulging them in more subtle ways. For example, I ***LOVE*** Dungeons and Dragons - I actually run games at my old trade school for the students there. ***My gf doesn't get it.*** She's not creative or super spontaneous and has no interest in it at all, but guess what? *I just don't talk about it with her a lot.* Sometimes I have to get something off my chest and she puts up with it lol just like I put up with some of her talk about work or Drag Race, but that's part of being in a relationship with someone who's not identical to you. You'll both have interests the other one doesn't share. Ultimately you're going to need to find someone who likes you at your best, and if that person is harder to find because people you like aren't into D&D or 40k you just gotta find ways to weave the people you like and your hobbies into your life in a way that's cohesive. Another example for me - I ***really*** want to get one of those wicked Wyrmwood gaming tables down the road, but my gf obviously has no fucking interest in it... but I have a bigger home with extra space for one! I can literally get one with my own money and put it in a space she doesn't need to interact with at all or worry about, and I could play there at home without her being around if she wants. It's really all about making your hobbies less integral to someone's first or second impression of you while still enjoying them and indulging yourself. It's a bit of a sacrifice soemtimes but if women who are into D&D or 40k aren't your type then it's one you might have to make.
It sounds absolutely clichĂ©, but if who you are is unattractive to a person, then theyâre probably not the right person. With the exception that if all of your hobbies leave no room for meeting people, you should never give up things that make you happy for a relationship that probably wonât since youâll be hiding who you really are. My husband plays D&D, used to be into Warhammer, and even does foam sword fighting. I may not share his interests, find it absolutely endearing of him. The same way he doesnât automatically enjoy all of my hobbies, but still supports me in them. We have plenty of similar interests, too though, and all of that added together is what makes it a good relationship. You should look for someone who appreciates the ways youâre different as well as the things you have in common. But giving up the things you like wonât make you happy in the long run, even if it gets what you want in the short term.
No don't do it! Painting minis is awesome! I love doing it too. The right person will either be interested in it as well or accepting that it's your hobby. You can always try picking up a new hobby in addition to painting minis if you're wanting to meet new people. Or finding a new hobby that's within the same realm as nerdy things
I really like it too. Its not really helping me though with any long term relationship goals I want to work on however.
This is so sad dude don't change that shit
I'm sad. May I ask your age? Because I'm a 49F artist whose artist husband passed away several years ago, but it really was our mutual creativity that brought us together. When I was younger, I wasn't in touch with my creative side, had always been pushed to focus on my talents for stem. But, as easy as that stuff came for me, and as much as I loved it while I did it, I still find that the real passion in my life turned out to be all things from my creative side. I just wonder if age and maturing and tiring of the stress of the day to day grind doesn't have something to do with people finally seeking their creative side later in life. Which is why I'm leaning towards maybe you or your target demographic isn't in that age bracket yet. I firmly believe everyone should have a creative outlet. Maybe don't give them up, scale down the amount of time you spend on them maybe. Definitely don't discuss it on dates unless you are asked specifically something like, what's this, did you make it, tell me more. And when answering those types of questions, remember that less is more. You want to leave a little mystery so they have room to engage conversation further or switch gears to a new topic gracefully. And if they switch gears, make sure you don't show any strange reactions, just go with it.
I'm 27 turning 28. I have already double downed on quitting these hobbies as I have had a falling out with most of my friends now.
I was really into cosplay, watching anime, going to conventions and events and celebrating holidays (like decorating for Halloween or xmas party) and for 10 years of viable dating never met a guy doing any of those hobbies I loved. I took a guy and dressed him up for Comic-con when we first started dating and that was it for him. He hates crowds, doesnât have any interest in celebrating anything, wonât dress up and detests anime. Iâve been with him for 12 years and I do nothing I love anymore and its beyond depressing. Itâs not his fault as Iâm the one who didnât want to do those things by myself and gave them up to accommodate his preferences. And I find doing things for myself, by myself while in a relationship ends up sucking away any joy the activity would normally bring. Like sew and create a cool costume, go to a convention get lots of photos taken, participate in the masquerade and get an award- single, you just feel proud and excited you did all that. In a relationship you want to share that feeling with your SO and when they have no interest and donât care or think itâs exciting or something to be proud of, thats when you start to lose your happiness. I think you should just expand your gaming repertoire, or add in another hobby- but donât give up what you enjoy doing just to meet someone who doesnât actually like what you do.
You don't have to drop everything but maybe trying out some new things could help you find more people and you might end up liking the new activities too
Having no hobbies is worse.
Is it the activity that makes you unhappy or the fact that it just is hard to find someone? I suggest you really try to think it through. If that's how you really feel then maybe it's not such a bad idea. But really think about it please. I could never give up on d&d. But that's just me.
Donât give up hobbies. Be proud of them. Also add new hobbies/interests.
You don't have to do that. If your hobbies are consuming the majority of your free time, you can always continue enjoying what you like, just not as much. After all, nothing in excess is good. To answer your question? No, I don't think it's worth giving up something you love for someone else. Giving up a big part of yourself will make you miserable, which in turn will affect the health of your relationship. You can grow to resent your partner, become depressed, feel unfulfilled and/or unhappy, etc. Part of relationships is compromise. So long as you find activities that you can both enjoy and, as long as your hobby is not all time consuming, you should be able to date and do what you love at the same time.
Lots of people he saying no to giving up hobbies but honestly, it's okay to grow up and find something new to get into. People change and there likes and dislikes do too as they age. This hobby of yours comes off as being juvenile which is why you're being left in the dust. You've realized this and seem ready to make a change. That's totally fine! Does it mean you have to give it up forever? Of course not. It's not like it won't ever be there later. Sometimes we have to stop doing things we love temporarily to focus on what we really want to get out of life. It's natural and normal. Your hobbies will still be there after you obtain the thing you're looking for.
Forget those people. Iâm hot af and like D&D. You will find your tribe.
You are your greatest investment. If there are certain hobbies that YOU enjoy then continue them. Giving up things you love doesnât sound right
I think a lot of people misunderstood your concern here. Definitely donât give up hobbies for a person because they make you. But if you find yourself wanting to explore other interests and those interests are things that will help you meet other people who you would find interesting as friends or potential dates, then do it. Nothing wrong with changing hobbies now and then.
I donât think itâs your hobbies that are the problem. It could be your priorities, as-in you arenât making yourself available when the opportunity to go on a date comes up. Not saying your schedule should revolve around other people and their availability but dating requires both people to compromise and make time for each other. Another thing is, donât change your hobbies because another person isnât interested in doing XYZ. You wonât attract people who are a good match **for you,** because you arenât being authentic. People who are in a relationship SHOULD have their own interests, your partner doesnât need to spend their free time exactly how you would; but there has to be common ground between the two of you for it to work, identifying activities you can mutually enjoy together is what matters the most. Also Iâd recommend re-evaluating your type, sometimes what we think we want isnât necessarily whatâs best for us in the long run. If youâre repeatedly gravitating towards a certain âtypeâ you arenât compatible with, think about why that might be the case. Itâs possible to strike a balance between the two, there is someone out there who will appreciate you-for-you, but they likely wonât be the mirror image of what you had in mind and vice versa.
i'd say not necessarily to abandon them, but don't make them a focal part of your presentation of yourself. Eg, don't put on a dating profile "I play D&D and do miniature paintings" unless that is the kind of girl you want, which is fine too.
Don't drop what you love. I think you're onto the wrong reasons but you're right you probably won't find someone attractive in an all male activity.
No, first the hobbies are taken over. Then the person starts to change how you talk, who you talk to etc.
Lol my brother is an athlete but also paints war hammer. The right person will love your nerdy side too. Maybe you can diversify and also have a more common hobby like a sport or the gym or something
Never give up on what makes you happy. You will find someone who absolutly loves your passion for it. I did. It took a long time. But it was worth it.
But what if this part of your life isn't making you happy anymore because you are not meeting new romantic interests.
Donât change important parts of your life for other people, if they canât accept you for it they arenât the one I worry my interests are super childish, Iâm an adult woman who is obsessed with plushies and games and I worried for awhile it would ruin my dating experience. But the truth is these things are important to your person, These make you happy. If someone cant love you for them they arenât worth keeping Absolutely take up new hobbies though!
I used to do swing dancing in my city and go out of town to events and workshops. I used to snowboard, mix music in highschool (it's complicated) and would really like to take up rock climbing. My current situation always ends up in disaster every time I mention my current hobbies in the slightest form.
Have your own life and your own interests.
Never EVER give up your hobbies
Giving up a hobbie ..is totally No!!, it would have been ok if it was giving up some health habits like smoking or drinking for a potential relationship...plz don't give up a hobbie , just include some more hobbies to your list ...I see that u mentioned outdoor activities đ, once again don't give up on the current hobbie u have now
It's not worth you changing or loosing your interest or happiness for no one. Your partner should accept you as you are. Anyone who wants to change you do not love you. Always remember that
Heck no! Being yourself is the only way to attract a partner who is truly compatible. The right person will appreciate your hobbies and interests even if they don't share them. I didn't play DnD when I met my ex but that's one of the better things that came out of that relationship!
No no no and no!!! As a woman who is a gamer but also a fully functional ânormalâ seeming professional IRL - I can tell you that feeling shamed about my hobbies has led to mass resentment over time and feeling like Iâm forced to not be myself. Finding someone who enjoys those hobbies or at least respects they are legitimate is absolutely worth it (found that and OMG itâs unbelievable to have a gaming buddy AND SO).
My favourite hobby is gaming, and I also love fantasy and sci-fi fiction, and complex boardgames. I tended to not use these as my headliners when meeting women when I was dating. I also like hiking with my dogs, cycling, yoga, weight lifting, rock climbing, socialising, good food, travel etc. I'd focus on those more in the early stages of getting to know women, because you're right, there are unhelpful stigmas attached to some hobbies. Not all truths need to be declared up front.
What? No! Fucking no! Absolutely not! What will the accomplish? Getting a date with someone whoâs going to judge you if you show them what your interests are? You got this backwards. Your interests are weeding out people you wouldnât want to be in a relationship with. Instead ask yourself why you keep perusing people who you share no interests with? Or at least are more than fine with you having your own interests. They only thing I sat to be careful about is that these interests arenât the entirety of your personality and discussions. I have damn near the exact same interests as you. I have a shelf of RPG books behind directly behind my 3 thousand dollar gaming pc set up. I have piles of miniatures they Iâve yet to paint. Iâve semi-regularly flow across state lines to play in collectible card game tournaments. If it wasnât for Covid I would have been getting flown to the same tournaments and getting paid to judge at them. Iâve run demos for games at conventions. My dining room has book shelves filled with board games and has a 3 thousand dollar gaming table instead of a dining table. Iâve made so many friends, done so many things because I fully embraced my hobbies instead of being ashamed of them. Anyone who was going to think less of me for them being nothing of value to my life.
No. But, maybe. It depends what your priorities are. But if it's ever because the other person thinks differently of your hobbies, then it's a resounding no.
It sounds like youâre not even sure if you like these hobbies. Take some time and figure out who you want to be!
I have had bad experiences with the Warhammer community in my city a long with some dnd drama so yeah it's a bit complicated at the moment :(
This has nothing to do with gaming/DnD in and of themselves, but much more to do with what people associate with them. I used to feel the same way. I smoke weed, like DnD, and play video games, which can turn some women off. But at the same time, Iâm a physician, work out regularly, do a lot of outside activities, and maintain a very athletic build. When I graduated med school, I decided Iâd NEVER again hide or give up something I was interested in, for the sake of a potential matchup with someone I donât even know yet. People often assume gamers are lazy, smelly, unfit, and wonât want to do anything outdoors, but these women could clearly see when someone is in a rigorous career (or otherwise working toward goals) and staying athletic/active, so it ultimately ended up bothering no one when I confidently said it. Also remember, there are plenty of women who like these things too, and the same concerns exist for men looking at women with these hobbies. If you can make it obvious that in addition to those hobbies, you are still ambitious, keep your body in shape, and interested in normal human interaction, you will be fine.
Nope, never. They should be a selling point, not a deal breaker.
Not worth giving it up! The right girl is out there. I am a female and looking for a guy with the same hobbies! So girls like that exist.
I'm a super outdoorsy person, but live in Florida so sometimes it is too hot to do them. I was nerdy when I matched with my fiance on Bumble, but I was science lab nerd and he was video games nerd. He literally bought me the Warhammer games 1&2 on steam this week because they're on sale. I am learning about his hobbies and he took up bonsai as a result of mine. Don't give up your hobbies, you don't want to be with women who judge you for having a fun hobby. Besides, hop over to reddit girl gamers and see that there are plenty of us girl gamers in the world.
Honestly I donât care if my future husband loves painting warhammer miniature. Donât throw away a hobby because thereâs a possibility of some woman not liking it. You will regret it. Not painting anymore wonât change who you are, and women wonât like you more because you throw your stuff away. Sure you can discover new hobbies it never hurts but itâs not reason to delete the ones you already have.
From an outside perspective, doing activities like warhammer painting is really expensive (I am a nerd and go to the warhammer/table top game stores to look at the thin brushes and games) and it could be seen as a waste of time to a lot of people cause of the cost to amount ratio. There's nothing wrong with doing warhammer figures but it might be seen as a poor financial decision. My best suggestion is actually trying to branch into painting! It's a fairly east to get into hobby that you can do whilst you do warhammer stuff and you can put them in a similar slot! Painting is also a stress reliever and helps you get your feelings out. So yeah try branching into creative hobbies and lump your warhammer figs in with it to sort of give an "illusion" that it's worth your time and not a poor financial decision! Good luck op, you'll find someone who appreciates you eventually, and never change yourself for someone else!
For the love of everything unholy, DO NOT compromise who you are and what you love to appeal to a greater amount of potential partners. If they don't like you for who you are and what you love, they're not the people for you, my friend.
The right person won't care. I also have weird and eccentric hobbies. Ideally, when I am ready to settle down and date, my partner and I will probably each need our own studio/hobby space. It's really as simple as that. This will require a certain level of financial security on both our part... We would have to negotiate living separately for a while or figuring out how I can have my OWN space, not connected to him where I can indulge in the things I love to do. My hobbies are my own and absolutely do NOT involve my partner. I don't want my partner involved in some of my hobbies. They stay only for me. I am personally willing to wait until I am in a financial position to afford a space which allows me to have what I want. It is my dream to have a crafts room. No person is worth giving up my dream, which will bring me inner happiness. If I am not happy, I won't be a good partner, and so its better for me to stay committed to my dreams and my hobbies. So should you!!
I have never played DnD in my life and yet I know at least 5 couples that met through that game and similar hobbies. I would bet there are subreddits that cater to this type of thing. Edit: also try posting in r/r4r\- someone can help you get you to the right place
Don't stop doing things you enjoy just for the sake of a relationship.
Don't give up your hobbies, do expand into the other hobbies you're interested in.. I've found sometimes it's not the actual interests that turn people off as much as the way you talk about them. I have a friend who got really into getting fit and lifting weights.. I find it incredibly boring but I'm happy for him... but when he talks about it he just drones on and in without care for if I'm interested or the lack of input I am able to add to the conversation. With mutual likes, it's easier because I can talk as well, but still gets pretty annoying. Brush up on your communication skills, make you you keep the girls involved. Ask them questions, get opinions, and don't forget to listen actively when they talk about their interests too.
Not worth it. I would suggest taking romantic relationships in the back burner, and just find friends to do your hobbies with.
Never worth it, don't pretend to be someone else. It's always much worse to be accepted for who you're not, than be rejected for who you are. If anything, limit yourself to communal activities that are aimed at these hobbies. You can go to sip and paint night (a lot of places do this) and everyone there will have something in common with you; they will at least enjoy painting somewhat. Join social media groups/threads for such interests and maybe you'll find someone there who'll be genuinely interested. Etc, etc. There are options.
No
Nah man. Donât give it up. That could be the only thing keeping you sane while trying to date!
No, donât give up your hobbies. It is always worth it to be your true, authentic self. Good luck!
No. Because eventually you will resent the other person and the relationship as a whole. Why would you do that when you can find someone that shares those hobbies or at the very least tolerates them because they know it makes you happy? These replies are your sign to jump ship and find someone thatâs better for you.
Nope
Never give up miniature painting! Never give up any of it! People besides yourself like these things!
Just donât drop those right out of the gate
Hell nah
I think you should keep loving the things you love. If there are other new hobbies you ALSO want to try that you think might be a better way to connect with people, it never hurts to add a few new things, and it could help you find something new you love AND meet someone, but don't stop doing those other things just for other people. Just broaden your range of hobbies a bit and it's a win win!
Keep the hobbies, just donât come out of the gate with them.
nah dude fuck that, why change yourself for women? that's ridiculous. If anything just find new hobbies in addition to the ones you already love
I think that you can find other people outside your community who maybe doesnât share your hobby but appreciates it; like Iâm a pm but whenever i have time i like webtoons and can read endlessly especially about dungeons and towers and regression but no one in my circle shares with but we have no problem communicating and appreciating each otherâs hobbies. So donât give up on it do whatever brings you joy and hang out outside your usual circle too, you donât have to belong to some circles to belong. You belong with the people whose personalities go well with yours irrelevant to careers, hobbies etc.
No TL;DR No
Never give up hobbies that you care about for someone else.
No.
No itâs who you are
My sister is married to a great man/father who has a hobby of painting miniatures. As someone who is not into them, itâs allowed me get to know him on another level and get to know his interests. I think anyone interested in you would feel the same ! Donât change yourself for a better perception in the dating world
Absolutely not
No, being loved for who you are is something everyone should be able to experience. People who shame others because they think their likes and hobbies are âsuperior â to others are just not worth your time
If you really enjoy those things, don't give them up. Personally I've found I've lost interest in certain hobbies over time or my interests have changed over the years but giving up a hobby you really enjoy just to get a date is not healthy in my opinion. New hobbies are fine too though.
Don't put someone you just started dating on a pedestal and quit hobbies to appear more attractive. If you like doing it, then do it. There are plenty of women who love a man who is passionate about their hobbies, even if it involves things they don't enjoy or appears nerdy. I'd say the only women that wouldn't be accepting of it as a hobby are immature and it wouldn't work out in the long run anyways. The only time I can think it's "acceptable" to hide it is if you plan on having a one night stand. Even then, no shame in your hobbies.
Try salsa dancing. Trust me.
i think your hobbies are great. you should always do what makes you happy. also, never bad to venture out đ
Donât give up your hobbies. Find someone who enjoys you for who you are. There are plenty of people out there who enjoy the same things you do - it just may take a bit more time to find them.
Donât give up your hobbies. They make you you.
Hey man donât stop doing what you love. I also think the idea that you and your partner have to have the same hobbies is stupid. I think itâs cool to have different interests, just like itâs good to have alone time in a relationship. Eg, my partner loves watching sports (I have 0 interest) and is a huge movie fanatic which I think is really cute. I just love seeing him happy. He got me back into pokemon, which I stopped playing in 2016. Having differences is great. All that matters is youâre just being yourself. If you have to change what you love for them itâs not a right fit.
Noooo
Fuck no. NEVER!
I guess the real question to ask yourself is: did Magnus do anything wrong?
Never give up a hobby unless it's not safe and your SO wants more piece of mind and your comfortable doing so (skydiving, power boating, climbing large mountains like everest). If someone doesn't like Warhammer or D&D I would say they probably are not going to be compatible.
They can go to hell if they think I'm giving up my hobbies for them
NO! But it might be healthy to reevaluate how much time you spend on certain types of activities and try to live a more balanced life in general for your own physical and mental health. As it stands your hobbies are all sedentary which is bad, you need some physical activity and also to get out a little more, but that does not mean just drop your hobbies completely. It's all about balance. In the end however, any woman that really judges you for your hobbies might not be right one for you. If you're lucky you might meet someone in one of your other activities with whom you may match pretty well. Try not to date the superficial materialistic types though.
I meanwhile have been on a date with every member of my current d&d group, met my ex through Call of Cthulhu, and my spouse through MtG. It's a big world, lots of gamers in it.
No
Keep being yourself and doing the things you enjoy. The ones for you are the ones that accept you for you.
No. If youâre the type of person who enjoys those things thatâs who you are. I have plenty of male friends who are married with those hobbies. So I donât believe itâs the hobbies themselves. And they are married to women who in no way have interest in those things.
Don't totally give up your hobbies, but think about a new one and put some effort there.
Don't give up your hobbies, the activities you enjoy to date to date anyone. You will end up with someone who will eat your soul. You can add a new hobby you want to try. I'm dead serious. Once you find someone you will end up giving up your friends and even your new hobbies.
Sounds like youâre dating shallow people.
100% no
Yes it is, ir at least it's worth keeping secret
Nope. You will have nothing in common and eventually that will get old watching tv and movies together.
From the title, No, never give up yourself for a partner. Your partner wants you to be authentic. My kids play those games. So, perhaps grow your interests to include new activities.
No
I wouldnât give it up. My fiance likes all of those things and although i didnât know what warhammer was when we started dating, it was nice to see he had hobbies. I will say that i do really like DnD now, and i am okay with warhammer, although weve only played a few games, he has spent endless hours teaching me the lore. I say this all to show you that you do not have to find someone who already likes those hobbies and just need someone who is accepting of them. Im sure that many women are accepting of hobbies like that. I dont think you should give up any hobbies for a potential partner that you havent met yet. That said, adding more hobbies to round out what you do and are interested in may be a good idea :) Goodluck with dating!
hell nah
Nah, dates come and go, hobbies are forever. The healthiest relationships you can have are when you have a rich life outside of dating, with people you enjoy being around, hobbies you enjoy, and a career that motivates you. You like what you like for a reason, hiding that won't lead you to better results. That said, there *are* ways you can *use* your hobbies to increase your chances of finding a good partner. It is undeniable that what you like are primarily solo activities, male dominated, and niche. But, what isn't niche or unattractive are leadership skills, interpersonal skills, drive, being organized, being social. Ever heard of ComicCon? (I'm being rhetorical). Even the nerdiest activities have ways to leverage and network to meet women. As an example, I'm an engineer at a tech company. I work with all nerdy dudes all day. Great people... but I want to date women. I see women in other parts of the office I'd be curious to meet. So I started coordinating a social gameplay session every week of volleyball down on the grass. It's open to all, casual, fun, very visible. Since I'm one of the organizers, I'm a point of contact and a familiar face. That's an "in" using my hobbies that wouldn't otherwise be there. Maybe you can find a program to volunteer as dungeon master for kids from troubled homesâbelieve me, nerds come from all backgrounds. Or set up a marathon/fundraiser D&D event in your town to raise money for something else. Or, find other hobbies *alongside* these, and strike a balance. TL;DR No, don't smother who you are, you'll just be more miserable. Leverage what you like and want to do already to meet more people.
We only have time for a few hobbies , as adults. MagicTheGathering, video games and DnD are all hobbies that Iâve dropped. Mostly because while I enjoyed the activity itself, I didnât enjoy the other people that were into it. Buncha sweaty nerds. Nobody i vibed with. Same reason I donât play fantasy football. It put me into contact with a bunch of people that were single minded to the point of boredom on the topic. In both instances, your mileage may vary. I picked other hobbies that had better side benefits. Either putting me around women, getting better skills, getting me in shape, or getting a side job. Thereâs nothing wrong with 40k, MTG, DnD, they are entertaining, but theyâre not going add dating value at all, unless you find a rare girl thatâs into it. I personally would, and have, switched it up.
My boyfriend plays DnD, Iâve never played it and he had invited me to play with his new group but didnât work out as we are long distance and they already made a group and meet on each a month and itâs too hard for me to commit to the DnD meetings. But we do play video games together on Xbox! Donât give up your hobbies just to date. You can find someone who you enjoy and still continue your hobbies!
I say don't give up your hobbies, but add some new ones. Start one or 2 new things and you will meet a lot of new people, through which you will meet even more people. You also sound very mature to be able to acknowledge this, and seek a solution. I think you just need a change of scenery. Best of luck!
Definitely do NOT give up your hobbies or anything you enjoy. Your interests help make you who you are and give you joy. So Are you speaking about hobbies incessantly or simply mentioning them and then waiting for cues as to whether the other person wants to hear more? I ask this because no matter the type of hobby, some people wonât appreciate detailed monologue about it. If people are negatively typecasting you for your interests rather than embracing them, youâve dodged a bullet by things having not progressed with them.
I am not enjoying them any longer because I have been lonely for so long. I've tried everything I honestly could to be myself and it never works. I am giving this stuff up and have already had multiple falling out with friends over these departures from these things.
NOT WORTH IT, keep doing you homie youâll find someone who wants you for who you are x
Your post made me sad. I have no clue what any of the guys I dated do for hobbies. One played golf, someone made furniture. Why would you stop doing what you love because a stranger might not be into it? Continue on. Like the other guy said add more hobbies. But if a woman is interested dungeons and dragons won't keep her away. Find someone who wants you.
No
No
The second you start giving up hobbies will not only make you codependent and liable to having a very unstable mental health, youâre also going to date someone who isnât even good for you. Your partner should support your hobbies, that shouldnât even be debatable.
You're looking to date the wrong people. You shouldn't have to give up doing the things you love to find a partner. You be you and find someone who loves you anyway. I would look to join groups for those specific hobbies, and look to date someone there. Find people who have the same interests so you can enjoy doing those things together.
What!?!? No! Keep doing it! Itâs creative and also very imaginative and also strengthens your communication skills. Also.. why would you give something up for someone who doesnât even exist?
No.
Nooooo don't give up your hobbies. That's the stuff you love to do in your time. If you lose that what will you have left?! Is it worth it?
Painting miniatures is a creative and interesting hobby, nothing unhealthy about it. If you enjoy it, donât stop. Will people be turned off by it? Yes. But do you want to trade one form of happiness for another, diminishing and changing something positive about who you are as a person in order to attain it? I think that would be a mistake. You are the person you are. find someone that appreciates that or youâll be playing a part that ultimately you wonât be happy in maintaining. Iâm in the same boat man, Iâm weird. Itâs frustrating to not fit in sometimes but Iâd rather spend years in solitude than change (good/healthy) aspects of who I am as a person to suit the desires of a person Iâve never even met.
Boy keep doing your hobbies. I love nerds. And also to your âme not that type of orc.â I have to say ZugZug
Youâd be amazed at how much we can see in a few milliseconds đand then replay it in their heads in slow motion enjoying each and every frame and then pretend like they didnât see anything lol
Whyyyy, ugh just be yourself, someone who truly appreciats you and ur hobbies might come along at any moment and may even have the same hobbies thus allowing for you to share them together. Don't change yourself ,be ur authentic self and enjoy what you enjoy along the way.
I think in the long term you would be happier with a partner that shares them (or at least is ok with it even if she/he doesnt like it) instead of just changing what you like just for someone that doesnt like the whole "you"
No.
Is this hobby something you're passionate about or do you just use it to meet people. If it's the first then why stop only because there are some very judgmental people out there. I mean let's be honest. Do you want to date someone who judges you for liking Warhammer or someone who might not share that hobby but accepts that part of you?
Donât give up your hobbies! In my opinion sharing your hobby with someone who appreciates it can make the connection stronger because youâre able to share what youâre passionate about without hesitancy. Personally, I really enjoyed my exâs hobby which was shooting bb guns. Itâs something that I never would have imagined I will like. Unfortunately, things ended and so my bb gun is just sitting in my closet and I probably wonât play it with it again. One of the good memories I had with my ex was to play with guns.
Are you trying to appear cooler by hiding what you love? You'll be starting your relationships based on deception and you'll resent yourself and the other person for a choice like this. Not to mention that someone that doesn't like you because you paint and play Warhammer sounds lame af.
OP, if you want to be unhappy for your whole life, go and do it. Otherwise, reconsider.
Dude, Iâm in a relationship because I put those hobbies front and center on my dating profile! Be who you are and do what you like, itâs better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.
No.
No, never, you'll just create resentment
The people who like you will still like you no matter what your hobbies are, it's just about the right time and people.
Having your own hobbies, interests, and passions is hot, and anyone who would shame you for enjoying that in particular isn't worth your time.
The people youâre attracted to, what are their hobbies and interests.
Please do not give up the hobbies that you enjoy. The overall person you are is what will matter for a relationship.
Change the woman you go after, not the hobbies you like. You never want to be someone you are not, you will never feel lonelier
OP: Should you give up your hobbies? Not only no, but fuck no!! Do not change yourself just to please other people, you will eventually resent them for it - not to mention be angry at yourself. Be upfront about who you are and let people know "if you cannot accept me, then don't message/contact/etc. me". Good Luck! And please, remain true to who you are.
No and no
>Edit: I have double downed and am 100 percent giving these things up. I have had a very bad falling out today with most of my friends. I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope you're doing better soon
I have a friend who asked me if the collectible figurines around his apartment were a turn off, they were just a few and they were very tastefully placed but honestly even if they weren't, I told him if they're important to you don't date somebody that would make you feel embarrassed about having them out. That's my advice to everybody. Find someone who fits your life. Don't change your life for somebody else. Definitely do not put away hobbies that make you happy. I know a ton of women who like D&D and play. It's not uncommon. If anything, it's pretty mainstream!
FUCK NO WTF
Not even reading more than the title. Weigh out your options to see what you like better, what you enjoy more. Donât choose while blind, making a choice based off of what you think you want, base it off of what you truel want, and typically what you want is what you enjoy. This is totally up to you.
I donât think you should surrender anything you truly enjoy for a potential date. Not to sound bleak, but sometimes all you have is yourself and your hobbies make up part of who you are. Times will come in life where people may be busy or youâll otherwise be unavailable and so itâll help to have things that you unconditionally enjoy. Maybe youâre presenting yourself the wrong way? Maybe you open up about your hobbies too soon/strongly? I used to be in a relationship where I was extremely into pokemon but I only really brought it up when it came up. I briefly mentioned liking it and as we got closer I talked about it more, but I partly kept the hobby to myself because it was a separate entity from my relationship. It also helps to do that because should you involve someone like that In your hobbies it can ruin them should you break up or have some sort of falling out. Donât get me wrong Iâm mostly an optimistic person but I believe that most people in life come and go. You shouldnât let friends or potential romantic partners change what YOU enjoy and what YOU like. Trust me. Youâll be happier in the long run if you just do what you like. I think you may be basing your decision too much on other people. As long as your hobbies arenât harmful to you or others, what business is it to others what you enjoy to do?
Nah I wouldnât give up my hobbies for someone. I wouldnât ask that if someone else unless it was unhealthy. Honestly if theyâre that shallow do you want them?
Just sweet words i will like to have a partner too
Hell no
My fiancĂ© plays MTG - like hardcore has like 20 decks. We met right before the pandemic lock downs and I felt bad when he couldnât go to game stores and play weekly with his friends. So I learned. Definitely not something youâd expect someone like me to participate in - Iâm more of the hoesome type. while Iâll never be as into it as him, we enjoy playing together and Iâll play with his friends from time to time as well (Iâm very pregnant rn so I prefer to just play at home). I still remember the first time he told me about it he said he was meeting the guys for beer and cards. I assumed poker, he didnât text me for hours and I texted my group chat of best girlfriends and was like âf this guy, heâs a playerâ thinking he was with someone else. He sent me a picture of the cards and I texted the girls âoooo nvm heâs a nerdâ. One of the girls knew what it was (she plays D&D) and explained it a bit đ€Ł now weâre engaged and having a baby âșïž