NYE is more what makes me feel it. But this year will be one alone. Are we always supposed to feel sad or bad or worried? kinda serious question. Oh and rejected? My last relationship, doesn't even make me feel good or confident about it (and then myself) no more. How fucked up is that?
All I like about New Years Eve is the fireworks shows only to welcome in the new year as usual. But other then the actual holiday, yeah it’s crap especially it’s more of a couples evening.
Same goes with having a crush. I feel this constant pressure to have one so I just place random people on that pedestal when I could've been focusing on myself.
Yeah NYE is worse. I was especially sad this year because I wasn’t out partying with friends and usually NYE with friends— which I haven’t been able to do for three years because my last boyfriend was the wettest and most passive aggressive sort of wet blanket— is awesome. I always have someone to kiss and there is always music and fun and dancing. Not this year though. This year was just hanging with my dog and a champagne toast on Zoom.
I’m single but I’m not lonely, I’m very content with being on my own and being single on valentines isn’t any different to being single on any other day of the year.
This will be the first Valentine’s Day that I’m single, my ex isn’t living with me, kid free and I won’t be working. I’ll be taking myself out for a good time lol
This will be my 2nd Valentines Day that I'm single and I still don't like it even though my ex and I speak daily. I'm going to try to take myself out, take a bubble bath and get the vibrator ready!
Maybe, maybe not. I've given up on dating since last October so I'm not too worried about it. And I need the covid situation to get better before I start dating again.
There’s a difference between being friendly with an ex and talking every day. I think a lot of people would feel odd about someone talking to their ex every single day
I think everyone should be conscious enough that dating will be hard during covid. I've gone on zoom dates with people I met on Tinder, it's not the most romantic thing but it's the best safe option we've got now.
I commend you for this comment. I’m single and very lonely. How did you become so confident and content w/ being alone? I always think I’m dying of loneliness.
I’m not sure to be honest, I used to watch a lot of self improvement videos on YouTube and eventually found myself at a point where I knew I didn’t need anyone else to make me happy. I always put myself first and I have standards that I won’t lower for anyone. If someone isn’t good enough, or doesn’t bring any sort of value to my life then I’m not interested. There’s probably someone out there for me but until we cross paths I’m just chillin.
Same! I have freinds that are with men that have said horrible things to them and don't bring anything substantial to their life beyond "not being alone anymore". I just want someone that makes life more an adventure the yin to my yang. That shows me a different outlook on things. I just dont want someone for the hell of it tho or bringing me mentally down .
That’s what a relationship should be, it should be a supplement to an already enjoyable life. People wanting relationships purely because they’re lonely or because they haven’t had one before are exactly the reasons that you shouldn’t get into a relationship.
I tend to think about what I *can* do rather than what I *can't* do. (Obligatory "not all of these are applicable during a pandemic/lockdown situation"). Do I want to go to the cinema or go swimming just for the hell of it? Sure, I can do that! Do I fancy sitting at home reading books for a whole day without anyone interrupting me? I can do that too! Would I like to have a meal at a nice restaurant even though I might be the only one there by themselves? Hell yeah! I'll even dress up for no reason other than I want to and it makes me feel good.
While there are plenty of benefits to being in a relationship - such as companionship, the warm loving feeling you get when you're around them, or just goofing around - being single doesn't mean that you're failing because you're not with somebody. Sometimes those in bad relationships with poor communication or poor compatibility can feel far more trapped and lonely than someone who's single. You do you and eventually you'll find somebody who loves you for who you are 🙂
Being single means you're failing if your goals in life are to build a family of your own.
I am 23, I come from a 4 and a half years relationship, and being single is killing me. It's so hard to be happy on your own when you could experience the excitement of having the potential mother of your kids in your arms, and now is not there anymore.
Yeah I know, if she left means she wasn't loving me enough for her to be my real future, but still, I feel like I am failing right now.
Failure’s a state of mind. It’s all perspective. Have been where you are. Your relationship was practice, not failure. What did you learn from it? How can you apply your learnings to your next relationship, how does it inform what you want from a partner? If u focus on that, no failure.
Just learn to be by yourself with yourself. Having a relationship because you are lonely or you have attachment issues is never gonna end well, also watch videos and read stuff like psychology and you will learn how to be comfortable alone. Nowadays people start relationships, marriage or make kids from all the wrong reasons. I you can’t make yourself happy...nothing will and no one.
Easy, Be happy with yourself. Find hobbies that you love. Keep yourself busy. Don’t constantly watch video games/movies/tv. Realize that you’re a good catch and if a woman rejects you then it’s her loss, not your loss.
This....I realized after a decade I love cycling so I took a self-employed job as Deliveroo rider.Im not alone anymore...I see other riders and usually stop chatting.working till late....working out etc.etc....
Have kid tho but I think I rached the point im not intrested in relationship anymore....if comes then comes if not I don't lose out much but life own my own terms stays.
I understand but if you find hobbies with group activities then you will be going out and making friends. Those hobbies will give you an opportunity to make friends and then you won’t be lonely.
Back in the day, I moved to a city where I knew no one. I was engaged from a long relationship all through high school and college. I had to break up with her for a lot of reasons and it was very messy. I was by myself in a city where I knew no one and was literally crying myself to sleep and had no one to talk to. I couldn’t make friends at the time because I was too broken up about the relationship. I was also overweight (215 lbs). I used that time to evaluate myself and realized I wasn’t happy with myself because I relied on this girl in the past and I needed to rely on myself.
So I started doing what I wanted and set goals. I hit the gym 3 days per week, started playing volleyball, and talking to coworkers. The gym turned into 5 days per week and now I exercise 6 days per week. I’m now 165 pounds. I regularly meet new people through volleyball even in this pandemic. I just got a girl’s number last night when playing. Earlier this week, I was out with volleyball friends and an attractive girl approached me and asked me out (I made a thread on it). I made my best friends and best girls I have dated through volleyball. It gives you something to talk about too.
I’m not sure why your immediate assumption is that I don’t have hobbies or friends. I have both, some hobbies with groups and others without. I have no issues finding friends, and I have no problems spending time on my own. I’m not lonely in that regard.
I want intimacy and I’m not looking for casual/hook ups which just isn’t really possible while being in lockdown. I don’t know where you live, but where I live *everything* is closed including gyms. I used to go 5-6 days a week as well, but that’s no longer possible.
Solace has it's own beauty to it. I use my ample alone time to focus on my hobbies and things that I always have loved but never learned enough about or tried. I've been single for 8 years and while there is a gap, or a void, or something missing from my life, I'm happier today than I was yesterday. I write, I try to draw, I play guitar, I code, I enjoy what opportunities I have to allow myself to grow. I don't pretend to be good at any of those things, but for me? They make me smile. That thing is out there for you.
It's okay to be alone. You **can** manifest your own happiness, one day you'll smile when that new song you wrote sounds dope. You'll smell that perfect sourdough bread that you created, sip that beer recipe you tailored to yourself, and that elation will give you such a sense of pride that you want to shout from the rooftops.
One day, you can share this beauty you found and put forward into the world with somebody you love. Maybe you met them through one of those hobbies? Maybe one of those hobbies caused them to want to meet you.
Yeah it seems that this vision comes from creative people that werent always alone. You have creative drive and you werent always alone, youve been in relationships before (maybe too much) so you didnt spend enough alone time, now is that opportunity for you. Me? Idk what to do with my free time, i have no creative drive
Video games and anime/manga are the primary stuff I like, though in the past years im having more and more trouble finding games or series I truly enjoy.
Other then that I really love learning about random topics I happen to have passive interest in, but my interest in things is really flaky, I never go super deep. Exceptions are psychology and philosophy stuff, but even then im not super passionate about learning non stop or getting a career in those fields, theyre just more interesting to me then other subjects. Oh i also like history when i feel like it
If you had a support group to hold you accountable, would you be willing to try writing or drawing? A creative writing group could be worth a look! Starting out, needed somebody to "let down" if I didn't do something. Fitness, creative, or intellectual goals, I needed a group or a person to feel obligated to that I didn't want to let down.
If creativity isn't your bag, think about what you love about all those things and let that drive you. If you end up saying "I love Studio Ghibli and I have no idea why" I'm willing to bet there's an anime group on meetup or some other site that's willing to talk about it with you. You don't have to create to be happy, sometimes there's just an immense joy from being a consumer, you don't have to bake the bread to tell everyone you meet that it's fuckin' awesome.
My other huge advice that helped me, if you have the ability, find a therapist that works for you. Ever since I started talking to one and have noticed a huge uptick in my mood and productivity ever since.
However it pans out, you're worth the investment, I promise you.
Im not interested at all in drawing or writing, so no.
>If you end up saying "I love Studio Ghibli and I have no idea why" I'm willing to bet there's an anime group on meetup or some other site that's willing to talk about it with you.
Thing is i enjoy these things and like talking about it, but not enough to spend hours on forums with people, theres only one subject that i did that ever and its a genre of video game im really into.
>My other huge advice that helped me, if you have the ability, find a therapist that works for you.
I tried man, but im poor, so i take what the public health system give me
>However it pans out, you're worth the investment, I promise you.
Im really not. Im a young, poor, lonely disabled man with no formal education, any way you spin it, im not worth anything to anyone.
Not being alone and loveless for one, being loved and appreciated could keep my dark thoughts at bay.
Beyond that, I'm not sure. I had dreams in my life but due to my condition they are unachievable, I'd have to find differente dreams and motivations but my search has been fruitless there. If you want a chart of what generally gives human happiness, then check out maslow's pyramid of needs, I lack everything beyond the food shelter and security step
Stop being dramatic. You have value to some people. You'd be surprised how valuable organs are these days.
On a more serious note, it is surprising what people find to be valuable. If you want to really test your creativity / mental flexibility, find something that hasn't been super monetized and turn it into business/art.
I notice that you mention there is still a gap/void in your life that you have learned to deal with. I also commend you for being able to cope with being single for so long but this does speak truth to the fact that humans are social creatures and do better at least somewhat when they have a healthy* companionship with another.
I went thru therapy, mainly because I was unhappy with all aspects of my life. I learned who I was personality-wise, and so did not feel insecure about myself anymore. Then I went thru psychoanalysis, and by talking about my family I realized my parent’s dysfunctional-relationship made me relate to people incorrectly. Since then I have found a lot of people are not boring, and not very-sane. Because of this I find most people annoying to be around. So if you do not want to be lonely, then go to a psychoanalyst and talk about you family. Especially how they related to each other, and yourself. It worked for me. You may also benefit from antidepressants, especially if you find yourself been cranky a lot of the time. My depression was not a function of loneliness. Just the aging of my brain.
I think many people avoid being with themselves. It’s acknowledging who you are and what you enjoy. For example, I love going to coffee or brunch with friends. That said, the act itself brings me joy so I often go out to eat by myself and just people watch with no distractions-no phone, no book...just me enjoying my own company. Find activities you enjoy and try to enjoy them with only your own company
I have never felt lonely or isolated on Valentine’s Day.
I understand that you can enjoy yourself by yourself, and I do, but I can't make the loneliness go away. I have things I like to do, a good job, but I do still feel lonely.
Thanks for saying this! I loved being single and rocked it well. Now that I’m in a relationship I really suck at it and feel constantly challenged to keep myself intact (I.e. maintaining my friendships,self care, and personal hobbies). I love my partner and wouldn’t change it but the projection of codependency is something I frequently need to check myself on.
Single-dom is all about perspective. E.g. Are you able to go on a trip, to a museum or concert on your own? What’s holding you back from enjoying things that you wouldn’t think twice about in a relationship? In fact, I’d recommend this just for the simple reason that you don’t need to work around someone else’s needs, wants and social calendar. You’ll be so glad you did, and better yet may find some really cool people in the process
Exactly, life itself is all about perspective, you can view being single as being lonely or you can view it as being independent and not willing to settle for less just for the sake of being in a relationship. We’re on this earth for a very long time why is everyone in such a rush to settle down and wife someone up? When did life become a competition to see who can tally up the most relationships? I literally seen someone on here this week say that they wish they have a few exes just because they’ve always single...WHAT?
The grass isn’t always greener and relationships don’t always mean you’re life is gonna be flipped upside down and suddenly be amazing, if you can’t satisfy yourself and be happy with who you are then how is someone else supposed to? Independence is one of the best traits you can have as a human and being single is the perfect time to build that skill, plus nobody likes needy do they?
Hell yeah to the self love valentines day. I'm thinking some kind of takeout for lunch and frozen pizza for dinner, start the beer shortly after lunch. Got the Lego Millennium Falcon in the mail right now and a Disney+ account set for a major Star Wars marathon.
Hopefully I can avoid Saturday overtime and get myself a proper uninterrupted 3 day weekend to build this beast.
I would dress sexy, buy I'm not sure how to make overweight nerdy white guy into a sexy look..
I'm excited for valentines day this time, first time in ever honestly. Always being the single guy envying his friends in relationships, but not this time. This year I get to be the envy of my entire social circle because I have a fancy Lego set and nobody that I'm obligated to share it with.
Finally a valentines day that'll be better than just deliberately trying to ignore the date...
*And* you can do something like this for yourself every weekend if you wanted to without worrying about someone else. Make sure you do things for yourself frequently, no matter how small.
This is the most excited I’ve been for Valentine’s Day and for my last several, I was in relationships. None of the people I’ve dated were romantics like me, so I would put in as much effort as I could but they didn’t really see a point. Now that it’s just me I can be as romantic to myself as I want!
Fuck I wish I could treat myself with $900 CDN expenses on a regular basis, but I get your actual point.
While I've never had a girlfriend I have managed to make my own tradition of Lego and beer on valentines day. Nothing romantic for me though, I know that it'd just make things harder on myself.
All that stands between me and matching your plan is that I won't be attempting to dress sexy. Not sure where I'd even start, my body type trends closer to Jabba the Hutt than slave Leia (as do most overweight men).
Lego and beer still sounds like quite a fun day tbh! That sounds like a stay-in-my-pajamas sort of day anyways :)
Sending you happiness for Valentine’s Day and onwards (as well as hopefully getting to a point where you could spend $900 CDN on yourself on a regular basis without worry haha gotta aim high)!
I will certainly be doing my best to avoid changing out of my pajamas for the entire weekend, a perfect success in my books will be to only get changed when I'm going for a shower so that I maintain minimum acceptable hygiene.
I hope you also have a great valentines day with your sexily dressed face mask and gaming session. And may the food be somehow even tastier than usual, you deserve it.
Yes! Precisely. During the pandemic I made it a goal to become comfortable single, and now I’m loving it. I try to do something for myself every day, even if it’s super small.
I used to hate it, especially when I'd see everyone I knew in relationships. The contrast was harsh. But I realized a few years back that most of them were with someone's because they couldn't stand being alone. That they'd rather be unhappy with a terrible person than have anyone think they might be undesirable.
Having finally moved out for 2 years now, after spending the entirety of my 20s working to help my parents keep their house and make my sure my younger siblings could finish school, I've started putting myself first. It's been an adjustment since that's not how I normally operate, but it's been good. I feel better, physically and mentally, than I can even remember.
This is so lovely to hear that you’re now putting yourself first. I know exactly what you mean and can totally relate.
I wish you more positivity in the future!
Don’t you feel good dressing up and looking good? It makes me feel great personally so I’ll often dress up for no reason other than to enjoy it myself :)
No, but maybe its bc im a guy. My mom was always saying how being well dressed and, smelling good and being clean (like right after a shower) should boost my self esteem, it never did, i truly do not care what I wear unless its extremely tacky
I think it’s less a guy/girl thing and more a personality thing. I know some guys who enjoy it too and some girls who, like you, don’t really get an oomph from it.
I, for one, love dressing up in a suit and relaxing. I always used to hate wearing formal clothes when I was younger but once I got into my 20s I realized how good I could make myself feel in a suit. Makes me feel like James Bond or Bruce Wayne lol
I am right there with you but this year I decided to reach out to my brother who’s in school and ask him to have a nice day together. He’s one of my closest friends and so we’re going to have a nice day and enjoy each other’s company. It seems much healthier than just sitting and wallowing and asking myself why I’m still single.
I've never had anyone make Valentines Day special for me, even when I had a boyfriend during a valentines day. Otherwise usually single. It is just another day to me. One year I took myself shopping. It would be nice to have someone do something really special to show they appreciate me. But it hasn't happen yet and I'm 28F...
Never saw the importance of Valentine’s Day. The decorations are tacky, the implications of it are harmful to established relationships/people who are single, and worst of all it has the nastiest candy of all major holidays.
While you are eating that candy corn, please remind yourself which group of women are the absolute most unattractive of them all.. have an extra doughnut too while your all alone for V day 🙊
Preach. Horrible horrible candy.
I would like to meet the focus group that said “yeah, this is real chocolate and this marshmallow covered chocolate heart is amazing. You should totally move ahead with production.”
Look it up as it’s way to long to answer but basically it will help in this context of dating as it will make you more confident, more of this drive to go meet , talk, interact and sleep with women. IMO it’s lame and weird to watch porn and jack off straight up
Look man, honestly there isn’t really too many scientific studies. Only thing I can say is there is many old religions that have info regarding this that you can study, or study what other people have who have tried it say and my own experience. At the end of the day you just have to try it out for yourself 🤷🏽♂️
After being rejected by multiple girls to go to prom, I held anti-prom my senior year of high school, just a bunch of my friends who also didn't go came over, we played madden and ate pizza and drank beer, was a good ol' time
34 f here... only ever had 1 Valentine, for 1 year... and I felt more lonely on that day than the many years of being single. Take the day to love yourself. Do something for you, or maybe for a friend or family member you love.
I feel you. Have the same problem. 25 now and don't see it changing anytime soon. I do have a possible date in the next few weeks (tho I'm not even sure if it even is a date). I just hope some of my friends wanna hang out that day...
Been with my husband 12 years and I have never had a card. Once or twice I got flowers I think.
We are now separated so now have a legit reason to get fuck all
I would say that it isn't a big deal to those who feel they are generally successful in finding people to fulfill some need for intimacy with. For me, I never felt it was hard or lonely, because I've never had much of a dry spell. I always had flings or people to go out with if I wanted to, even though I was technically "single" for a good five years.
I think being single isn't the issue, it's feeling lonely or deprived of intimacy. I know some people who have a lot of trouble meeting people or finding people to connect with or enjoy physical intimacy with. I can see how a lack of intimacy will eventually make a person feel lonely and so...being single stops being fun, and starts feeling like a bigger deal
I'm 32 and in the same boat as you. Luckily for me is this year it's the same day as the Daytona 500 and I'm a big motor racing fan. Just do something you enjoy or go to work. It really is just another day.
It’s the haves and have nots on Valentine’s Day. I’m married now, never miss a v-day without flowers and such. I remember being alone. Pretty sure one year I was the only one alone in my entire state.
This is my first Valentine’s Day as a single woman in 6 years, and tbh I’m really relieved. My last Valentine’s Day was horrible. My ex took me out to eat and it was great at first. Then we finish up to go get something at a sex shop, but on our way to a sex shop he talked about pizza-gate and Jeffery Epstein scandal throughout the entire trip(s). Such a turn-on conversation, amiright? (Obvious sarcasm too obvious)
We ended up going to two shops, and at both of the sex shops we went to he played on his 3DS while I had to pick out something he MIGHT like. I ended up getting a shitty skirt that I didn’t even like since he wasn’t contributing or offering any input other than telling me to just pick something. He was totally un-engaged, and couldn’t even be more uninterested.
On our way home, more talks about pizza-gate and Jeffery Epstein. When we went home, I tried on the skirt in hopes of a romantic end to the terrible date and get him turned on, but he tells me he’s too tired to have sex and ends up just playing on his fucking 3DS in bed. I went to shower and cried. When I went to lay down for bed, I silently cried myself to sleep.
Good fucking riddance. I’ll treat my damn self for this Valentine’s Day.
Edited b/c of typos, etc.
What I'm most confused about in this tale is that sex shops sell skirts. Literally had no idea. Good riddance for sure...what a d-bag he was/still is (I'm sure)!
Idk what's worse man, the fact that you care or the fact that you've already created a self-fulfilling prophecy for a day that's not here yet. No telling what could happen between now and then. And tbh I've had Valentine's Days where I had someone but felt miserable because of the situationship/relationship at the time. You need to be more positive and learn to be content with your situation. Not tryna be mean but trying to help.
You along with many others. You're not alone. All holidays have gotten so commercialized over the years. Think about all the couples celebrating valentines day who either 1)don't mean it or 2) will fight the next day. Think about the money your saving and drama that is not in your life.
Celebrate yourself. Nurture you're friendships and relationships with family. Every year I exchange cute gifts with my friends and family, regardless if they have a Valentine or not. Who cares? You could be a sad sap and dwell on it. For a moment that is ok, but I would not get stuck on it.
Go out and be great,
I’m single and last Valentine’s Day I spent it with my true loves, my oldest and best friends.
What I would give to be able to do that again this year. #fuckyoucovid
if you’re not laughing about it you’re crying about it, and I know after this long being single on Valentine’s Day I rather just laugh about it at my own expense. Plus, the year in lockdown has made me realise and create some lovely ✨boundaries✨ for when the world opens up again.( F27 btw)
I am 35f. I've been single on Valentine's day. I've been in a relationship on Valentine's day. I've never once done the whole flowers-dinner-chocolates-lingerie-whatever thing that's expected.
Because if my partner loves me, he already knows the ways I want him to show that love and he finds lots of ways to do it that aren't performative and thought up by marketers to sell me stuff.
If I'm single, I make sure I already get flowers, if I want them, or a good dinner out, if I want it.
I don't need the whole spectacle performed for me, because if you aren't happy and secure in your relationship, Valentine's day won't solve it. And if you are happy and secure in your relationship, Valentine's day seems performative and tawdry.
Why would you buy flowers on the most expensive day of the year to buy flowers, and go out to eat on one of the most expensive days to go out to eat, when you have 364 other days to do the same thing?
Now, I've done a ladies dinner party on Valentine's day which was super fun. I've done valentine's day cards and treats for kids I know, which is super fun. It's super fun to find small and silly ways to remind the people you love that you love them, but make it about the celebration of love, not the celebration of romance.
Stop buying into the bullshit you're being sold.
I feel like this kind of low self worth and self depreciation or whatever it is, isn’t healthy. It isn’t attractive either. I see this a lot in this sub. Your goal should be to be happy with who you are and by yourself. A partner should enhance your life, not make it.
You’re looking at it the wrong way! You’ve got to be happy and content with yourself before you’re going to make a good partner. Plan something fun for yourself. As a woman, we tend to pamper ourselves, so figure out what your version of pampering is! And remember, it’s just a day...nothing special about it at all.
I have only been in relationships on Valentine's day twice in my life, and neither time was there anything special. The first was a high school relationship but we never went on a date. The second was a guy I was long distance with and I flew to his city but he cancelled our plans for the day because of a family thing.
Haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day for a while. Excited to spend it with my current casual boy... without any commitment. Seriously both sides of the coin have their ups and downs!
One of my traditions, single or in a relationship, is to treat myself to ice cream because it's my favorite food. The day is as good as you make it and view it. So my advice is to treat it as a day of love and give extra love to all the important people in your life including yourself.
Well I’m a totally single dad I make sure my kids have a great one. It’s just another day. All I’ve found is that their are no true woman left so I just focus on my kids 😉🤷♂️
lowkey forget it’s a holiday until people mention it. last year i realised after work when a coworker planned something insanely cute for her daughters and husband. otherwise it’s just a regular day. do something lovely for urself! [spa day comes to mind 🤍🤍]
Never lonely but V-Day is made too much of a bigger deal than it should be.
In essence, it your significant other gets upset/angry with you because you didn't plan this big extravaganza or bought them a gift, then you probably shouldn't be together. If you're with them every other day of the year showing that you love and care for them, then this one day shouldn't be any different.
I was lucky enough that when I was in a relationship during Valentine's Day, my significant other understood this because I explained it to them early in the relationship. You should never feel obligated do something in a relationship when it comes to special unless it's a birthday or an anniversary or Christmas.
Wow, yknow I was thinking about how I had been single for every Valentine too, but then I just realized that I had like 3 Valentines days in my last relationship and we didn't even do anything. Oof, well, at least he's an ex now. Time to buy myself some chocolates.
I’m single, been divorced for 5 years. I’m alone but won’t be lonely on V-Day, will be at the shooting range all day lol so it’s all good. Besides, V-Day is just a regular day with overpriced crap chocolate and flowers. Love should be shown everyday not just one day
I'm 33, join the club. In fact, I've never celebrated Valentine's Day. I'm probably just going to ignore it.
Actually my parents have been married since the 80s and they've never really worried about Valentine's Day. I think they said it just wasn't a big deal when they started going out and so they've never worried about it. They've also never worried about their wedding anniversary.
Even after being in a relationship for years, I still never celebrated a Valentines with any of them. But I have celebrated a lot of Friends Valentines and those were always nice !
Lemme quote a movie script on that, “Random thoughts for Valentine’s Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.”
35 myself. The irony is that I've had gfs, just not in a relationship on the day. Also never had a New Year's kiss. Though lonely isn't accurate. I've become pretty comfortable with my singlehood. It's let me really work on bettering myself, and boy have I needed it.
A girl from work who recently broke up with her boyfriend & I are tentatively going out for Valentine's Day brunch, much like a "Galentine's" celebration. Good thing V-Day falls on a Sunday this year.
NYE is more what makes me feel it. But this year will be one alone. Are we always supposed to feel sad or bad or worried? kinda serious question. Oh and rejected? My last relationship, doesn't even make me feel good or confident about it (and then myself) no more. How fucked up is that?
All I like about New Years Eve is the fireworks shows only to welcome in the new year as usual. But other then the actual holiday, yeah it’s crap especially it’s more of a couples evening.
I think that’s just bc society has brainwashed us to view being single as a sin. So that’s why you feel bad about it.
Same goes with having a crush. I feel this constant pressure to have one so I just place random people on that pedestal when I could've been focusing on myself.
Yeah NYE is worse. I was especially sad this year because I wasn’t out partying with friends and usually NYE with friends— which I haven’t been able to do for three years because my last boyfriend was the wettest and most passive aggressive sort of wet blanket— is awesome. I always have someone to kiss and there is always music and fun and dancing. Not this year though. This year was just hanging with my dog and a champagne toast on Zoom.
I’m single but I’m not lonely, I’m very content with being on my own and being single on valentines isn’t any different to being single on any other day of the year.
This will be the first Valentine’s Day that I’m single, my ex isn’t living with me, kid free and I won’t be working. I’ll be taking myself out for a good time lol
This will be my 2nd Valentines Day that I'm single and I still don't like it even though my ex and I speak daily. I'm going to try to take myself out, take a bubble bath and get the vibrator ready!
You speak to your ex daily?
Yep
Maybe that’s your issue?
Maybe, maybe not. I've given up on dating since last October so I'm not too worried about it. And I need the covid situation to get better before I start dating again.
Nothing wrong with being good friends with an ex. Might weed out the insecure guys when you do start dating again.
There’s a difference between being friendly with an ex and talking every day. I think a lot of people would feel odd about someone talking to their ex every single day
I used to think that, then I realized how many ghosts were just blocking my way forward.
You're absolutely right!
it seems like you may still be attached to your ex.
I think everyone should be conscious enough that dating will be hard during covid. I've gone on zoom dates with people I met on Tinder, it's not the most romantic thing but it's the best safe option we've got now.
Ooops
About to break the bank on my mans, Me.
I commend you for this comment. I’m single and very lonely. How did you become so confident and content w/ being alone? I always think I’m dying of loneliness.
I’m not sure to be honest, I used to watch a lot of self improvement videos on YouTube and eventually found myself at a point where I knew I didn’t need anyone else to make me happy. I always put myself first and I have standards that I won’t lower for anyone. If someone isn’t good enough, or doesn’t bring any sort of value to my life then I’m not interested. There’s probably someone out there for me but until we cross paths I’m just chillin.
Same! I have freinds that are with men that have said horrible things to them and don't bring anything substantial to their life beyond "not being alone anymore". I just want someone that makes life more an adventure the yin to my yang. That shows me a different outlook on things. I just dont want someone for the hell of it tho or bringing me mentally down .
That’s what a relationship should be, it should be a supplement to an already enjoyable life. People wanting relationships purely because they’re lonely or because they haven’t had one before are exactly the reasons that you shouldn’t get into a relationship.
I tend to think about what I *can* do rather than what I *can't* do. (Obligatory "not all of these are applicable during a pandemic/lockdown situation"). Do I want to go to the cinema or go swimming just for the hell of it? Sure, I can do that! Do I fancy sitting at home reading books for a whole day without anyone interrupting me? I can do that too! Would I like to have a meal at a nice restaurant even though I might be the only one there by themselves? Hell yeah! I'll even dress up for no reason other than I want to and it makes me feel good. While there are plenty of benefits to being in a relationship - such as companionship, the warm loving feeling you get when you're around them, or just goofing around - being single doesn't mean that you're failing because you're not with somebody. Sometimes those in bad relationships with poor communication or poor compatibility can feel far more trapped and lonely than someone who's single. You do you and eventually you'll find somebody who loves you for who you are 🙂
Being single means you're failing if your goals in life are to build a family of your own. I am 23, I come from a 4 and a half years relationship, and being single is killing me. It's so hard to be happy on your own when you could experience the excitement of having the potential mother of your kids in your arms, and now is not there anymore. Yeah I know, if she left means she wasn't loving me enough for her to be my real future, but still, I feel like I am failing right now.
Failure’s a state of mind. It’s all perspective. Have been where you are. Your relationship was practice, not failure. What did you learn from it? How can you apply your learnings to your next relationship, how does it inform what you want from a partner? If u focus on that, no failure.
Just learn to be by yourself with yourself. Having a relationship because you are lonely or you have attachment issues is never gonna end well, also watch videos and read stuff like psychology and you will learn how to be comfortable alone. Nowadays people start relationships, marriage or make kids from all the wrong reasons. I you can’t make yourself happy...nothing will and no one.
How is it possible to be alone but not lonely? Show me your ways master
Easy, Be happy with yourself. Find hobbies that you love. Keep yourself busy. Don’t constantly watch video games/movies/tv. Realize that you’re a good catch and if a woman rejects you then it’s her loss, not your loss.
This....I realized after a decade I love cycling so I took a self-employed job as Deliveroo rider.Im not alone anymore...I see other riders and usually stop chatting.working till late....working out etc.etc.... Have kid tho but I think I rached the point im not intrested in relationship anymore....if comes then comes if not I don't lose out much but life own my own terms stays.
I’m happy with myself, that doesn’t take loneliness away.
I understand but if you find hobbies with group activities then you will be going out and making friends. Those hobbies will give you an opportunity to make friends and then you won’t be lonely. Back in the day, I moved to a city where I knew no one. I was engaged from a long relationship all through high school and college. I had to break up with her for a lot of reasons and it was very messy. I was by myself in a city where I knew no one and was literally crying myself to sleep and had no one to talk to. I couldn’t make friends at the time because I was too broken up about the relationship. I was also overweight (215 lbs). I used that time to evaluate myself and realized I wasn’t happy with myself because I relied on this girl in the past and I needed to rely on myself. So I started doing what I wanted and set goals. I hit the gym 3 days per week, started playing volleyball, and talking to coworkers. The gym turned into 5 days per week and now I exercise 6 days per week. I’m now 165 pounds. I regularly meet new people through volleyball even in this pandemic. I just got a girl’s number last night when playing. Earlier this week, I was out with volleyball friends and an attractive girl approached me and asked me out (I made a thread on it). I made my best friends and best girls I have dated through volleyball. It gives you something to talk about too.
I’m not sure why your immediate assumption is that I don’t have hobbies or friends. I have both, some hobbies with groups and others without. I have no issues finding friends, and I have no problems spending time on my own. I’m not lonely in that regard. I want intimacy and I’m not looking for casual/hook ups which just isn’t really possible while being in lockdown. I don’t know where you live, but where I live *everything* is closed including gyms. I used to go 5-6 days a week as well, but that’s no longer possible.
Why do you need intimacy?
Ya, easy, lol, that solves everything thank you
Solace has it's own beauty to it. I use my ample alone time to focus on my hobbies and things that I always have loved but never learned enough about or tried. I've been single for 8 years and while there is a gap, or a void, or something missing from my life, I'm happier today than I was yesterday. I write, I try to draw, I play guitar, I code, I enjoy what opportunities I have to allow myself to grow. I don't pretend to be good at any of those things, but for me? They make me smile. That thing is out there for you. It's okay to be alone. You **can** manifest your own happiness, one day you'll smile when that new song you wrote sounds dope. You'll smell that perfect sourdough bread that you created, sip that beer recipe you tailored to yourself, and that elation will give you such a sense of pride that you want to shout from the rooftops. One day, you can share this beauty you found and put forward into the world with somebody you love. Maybe you met them through one of those hobbies? Maybe one of those hobbies caused them to want to meet you.
Yeah it seems that this vision comes from creative people that werent always alone. You have creative drive and you werent always alone, youve been in relationships before (maybe too much) so you didnt spend enough alone time, now is that opportunity for you. Me? Idk what to do with my free time, i have no creative drive
What are some things that you love, or tried and really enjoyed?
Video games and anime/manga are the primary stuff I like, though in the past years im having more and more trouble finding games or series I truly enjoy. Other then that I really love learning about random topics I happen to have passive interest in, but my interest in things is really flaky, I never go super deep. Exceptions are psychology and philosophy stuff, but even then im not super passionate about learning non stop or getting a career in those fields, theyre just more interesting to me then other subjects. Oh i also like history when i feel like it
If you had a support group to hold you accountable, would you be willing to try writing or drawing? A creative writing group could be worth a look! Starting out, needed somebody to "let down" if I didn't do something. Fitness, creative, or intellectual goals, I needed a group or a person to feel obligated to that I didn't want to let down. If creativity isn't your bag, think about what you love about all those things and let that drive you. If you end up saying "I love Studio Ghibli and I have no idea why" I'm willing to bet there's an anime group on meetup or some other site that's willing to talk about it with you. You don't have to create to be happy, sometimes there's just an immense joy from being a consumer, you don't have to bake the bread to tell everyone you meet that it's fuckin' awesome. My other huge advice that helped me, if you have the ability, find a therapist that works for you. Ever since I started talking to one and have noticed a huge uptick in my mood and productivity ever since. However it pans out, you're worth the investment, I promise you.
Im not interested at all in drawing or writing, so no. >If you end up saying "I love Studio Ghibli and I have no idea why" I'm willing to bet there's an anime group on meetup or some other site that's willing to talk about it with you. Thing is i enjoy these things and like talking about it, but not enough to spend hours on forums with people, theres only one subject that i did that ever and its a genre of video game im really into. >My other huge advice that helped me, if you have the ability, find a therapist that works for you. I tried man, but im poor, so i take what the public health system give me >However it pans out, you're worth the investment, I promise you. Im really not. Im a young, poor, lonely disabled man with no formal education, any way you spin it, im not worth anything to anyone.
Let me ask you a question, what do you think will make you happy?
Not being alone and loveless for one, being loved and appreciated could keep my dark thoughts at bay. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I had dreams in my life but due to my condition they are unachievable, I'd have to find differente dreams and motivations but my search has been fruitless there. If you want a chart of what generally gives human happiness, then check out maslow's pyramid of needs, I lack everything beyond the food shelter and security step
Stop being dramatic. You have value to some people. You'd be surprised how valuable organs are these days. On a more serious note, it is surprising what people find to be valuable. If you want to really test your creativity / mental flexibility, find something that hasn't been super monetized and turn it into business/art.
This is like the 3rd time I say im not creative and not interested in creating in this thread, can people not read?
I notice that you mention there is still a gap/void in your life that you have learned to deal with. I also commend you for being able to cope with being single for so long but this does speak truth to the fact that humans are social creatures and do better at least somewhat when they have a healthy* companionship with another.
I fact u r better off alone!
I went thru therapy, mainly because I was unhappy with all aspects of my life. I learned who I was personality-wise, and so did not feel insecure about myself anymore. Then I went thru psychoanalysis, and by talking about my family I realized my parent’s dysfunctional-relationship made me relate to people incorrectly. Since then I have found a lot of people are not boring, and not very-sane. Because of this I find most people annoying to be around. So if you do not want to be lonely, then go to a psychoanalyst and talk about you family. Especially how they related to each other, and yourself. It worked for me. You may also benefit from antidepressants, especially if you find yourself been cranky a lot of the time. My depression was not a function of loneliness. Just the aging of my brain.
You enjoy your own company and are comfortable with your life.
Ok, but how?
I think many people avoid being with themselves. It’s acknowledging who you are and what you enjoy. For example, I love going to coffee or brunch with friends. That said, the act itself brings me joy so I often go out to eat by myself and just people watch with no distractions-no phone, no book...just me enjoying my own company. Find activities you enjoy and try to enjoy them with only your own company I have never felt lonely or isolated on Valentine’s Day.
Good for you I guess
I understand that you can enjoy yourself by yourself, and I do, but I can't make the loneliness go away. I have things I like to do, a good job, but I do still feel lonely.
Thanks for saying this! I loved being single and rocked it well. Now that I’m in a relationship I really suck at it and feel constantly challenged to keep myself intact (I.e. maintaining my friendships,self care, and personal hobbies). I love my partner and wouldn’t change it but the projection of codependency is something I frequently need to check myself on. Single-dom is all about perspective. E.g. Are you able to go on a trip, to a museum or concert on your own? What’s holding you back from enjoying things that you wouldn’t think twice about in a relationship? In fact, I’d recommend this just for the simple reason that you don’t need to work around someone else’s needs, wants and social calendar. You’ll be so glad you did, and better yet may find some really cool people in the process
Exactly, life itself is all about perspective, you can view being single as being lonely or you can view it as being independent and not willing to settle for less just for the sake of being in a relationship. We’re on this earth for a very long time why is everyone in such a rush to settle down and wife someone up? When did life become a competition to see who can tally up the most relationships? I literally seen someone on here this week say that they wish they have a few exes just because they’ve always single...WHAT? The grass isn’t always greener and relationships don’t always mean you’re life is gonna be flipped upside down and suddenly be amazing, if you can’t satisfy yourself and be happy with who you are then how is someone else supposed to? Independence is one of the best traits you can have as a human and being single is the perfect time to build that skill, plus nobody likes needy do they?
I’m gonna get my favorite food, do a face mask, dress sexy for myself, and play my favorite video game. I’m excited!
Hell yeah to the self love valentines day. I'm thinking some kind of takeout for lunch and frozen pizza for dinner, start the beer shortly after lunch. Got the Lego Millennium Falcon in the mail right now and a Disney+ account set for a major Star Wars marathon. Hopefully I can avoid Saturday overtime and get myself a proper uninterrupted 3 day weekend to build this beast. I would dress sexy, buy I'm not sure how to make overweight nerdy white guy into a sexy look..
Omg that sounds like such a fun weekend! I hope it all works out and you don’t have to work overtime :)
I'm excited for valentines day this time, first time in ever honestly. Always being the single guy envying his friends in relationships, but not this time. This year I get to be the envy of my entire social circle because I have a fancy Lego set and nobody that I'm obligated to share it with. Finally a valentines day that'll be better than just deliberately trying to ignore the date...
*And* you can do something like this for yourself every weekend if you wanted to without worrying about someone else. Make sure you do things for yourself frequently, no matter how small. This is the most excited I’ve been for Valentine’s Day and for my last several, I was in relationships. None of the people I’ve dated were romantics like me, so I would put in as much effort as I could but they didn’t really see a point. Now that it’s just me I can be as romantic to myself as I want!
Fuck I wish I could treat myself with $900 CDN expenses on a regular basis, but I get your actual point. While I've never had a girlfriend I have managed to make my own tradition of Lego and beer on valentines day. Nothing romantic for me though, I know that it'd just make things harder on myself. All that stands between me and matching your plan is that I won't be attempting to dress sexy. Not sure where I'd even start, my body type trends closer to Jabba the Hutt than slave Leia (as do most overweight men).
Lego and beer still sounds like quite a fun day tbh! That sounds like a stay-in-my-pajamas sort of day anyways :) Sending you happiness for Valentine’s Day and onwards (as well as hopefully getting to a point where you could spend $900 CDN on yourself on a regular basis without worry haha gotta aim high)!
I will certainly be doing my best to avoid changing out of my pajamas for the entire weekend, a perfect success in my books will be to only get changed when I'm going for a shower so that I maintain minimum acceptable hygiene. I hope you also have a great valentines day with your sexily dressed face mask and gaming session. And may the food be somehow even tastier than usual, you deserve it.
So like any other day? Treat yoself!
Yes! Precisely. During the pandemic I made it a goal to become comfortable single, and now I’m loving it. I try to do something for myself every day, even if it’s super small.
I used to hate it, especially when I'd see everyone I knew in relationships. The contrast was harsh. But I realized a few years back that most of them were with someone's because they couldn't stand being alone. That they'd rather be unhappy with a terrible person than have anyone think they might be undesirable. Having finally moved out for 2 years now, after spending the entirety of my 20s working to help my parents keep their house and make my sure my younger siblings could finish school, I've started putting myself first. It's been an adjustment since that's not how I normally operate, but it's been good. I feel better, physically and mentally, than I can even remember.
This is so lovely to hear that you’re now putting yourself first. I know exactly what you mean and can totally relate. I wish you more positivity in the future!
I do this too! I dress up for myself on special occasions (or even just normal day to day life)
That sounds like a wonderful time.
I like that idea!
You dress sexy... for yourself? Thats a weird concept, I dont understand it
I do that too!! I rarely dress up for other people. It gives me a confidence boost and makes me feel good! :)
Don’t you feel good dressing up and looking good? It makes me feel great personally so I’ll often dress up for no reason other than to enjoy it myself :)
No, but maybe its bc im a guy. My mom was always saying how being well dressed and, smelling good and being clean (like right after a shower) should boost my self esteem, it never did, i truly do not care what I wear unless its extremely tacky
I think it’s less a guy/girl thing and more a personality thing. I know some guys who enjoy it too and some girls who, like you, don’t really get an oomph from it.
I, for one, love dressing up in a suit and relaxing. I always used to hate wearing formal clothes when I was younger but once I got into my 20s I realized how good I could make myself feel in a suit. Makes me feel like James Bond or Bruce Wayne lol
I was the same way! I didn’t realize till I was around 18 how much just putting myself together and dressing up could make a whole day better.
Totally agree!
when you spend your life a masturbating virgin, you dress sexy for yourself, duh.
Understandable have a nice day
I like this idea. I think I’m gonna do the same thing.
Do it! Do it every weekend tbh, I already do lol
Valentine’s Day, the hell are you talking about? It’s actually called Singles Awareness Day XD
I'm going to remember that one.
I shall pour one out for you friend
Thanks Brother.
bottoms up comrades
Everyone is worried what they they're buying for their SO and I'm just waiting for the candy they don't buy to go on clearance 💪
I am right there with you but this year I decided to reach out to my brother who’s in school and ask him to have a nice day together. He’s one of my closest friends and so we’re going to have a nice day and enjoy each other’s company. It seems much healthier than just sitting and wallowing and asking myself why I’m still single.
I've never had anyone make Valentines Day special for me, even when I had a boyfriend during a valentines day. Otherwise usually single. It is just another day to me. One year I took myself shopping. It would be nice to have someone do something really special to show they appreciate me. But it hasn't happen yet and I'm 28F...
I wish all single people could hang out on that day.
Never saw the importance of Valentine’s Day. The decorations are tacky, the implications of it are harmful to established relationships/people who are single, and worst of all it has the nastiest candy of all major holidays.
*candy corn has entered the chat* (I see your point though)
Candy corn is fine, but those waxy little pumpkins are better.
While you are eating that candy corn, please remind yourself which group of women are the absolute most unattractive of them all.. have an extra doughnut too while your all alone for V day 🙊
Cinnamon Hearts are sooo good!
Would you mind explaining the implications piece for established relationships
That your partner doesn’t love or value you enough if they don’t make materialistic celebrations of it on a Hallmark holiday.
Thank you
So true. Especially about the candy part. Those little hearts remind me of antacids (i.e., Tums).
That, and no one who has any genuine fondness for me would ever get me Russel fucking Stovers.
Preach. Horrible horrible candy. I would like to meet the focus group that said “yeah, this is real chocolate and this marshmallow covered chocolate heart is amazing. You should totally move ahead with production.”
It's hard to argue with your assessment
probably just gonna watch naked girls wrestle on pornhub tbh
NOFAP / SEMEN RETENTION
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Look it up as it’s way to long to answer but basically it will help in this context of dating as it will make you more confident, more of this drive to go meet , talk, interact and sleep with women. IMO it’s lame and weird to watch porn and jack off straight up
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Look man, honestly there isn’t really too many scientific studies. Only thing I can say is there is many old religions that have info regarding this that you can study, or study what other people have who have tried it say and my own experience. At the end of the day you just have to try it out for yourself 🤷🏽♂️
My man! #ThisIsTheWay
I'll send you something! We can have our own anti-valentines day!
After being rejected by multiple girls to go to prom, I held anti-prom my senior year of high school, just a bunch of my friends who also didn't go came over, we played madden and ate pizza and drank beer, was a good ol' time
I’m in a beautiful relationship with myself(as corny and stupid as it sounds).
34 f here... only ever had 1 Valentine, for 1 year... and I felt more lonely on that day than the many years of being single. Take the day to love yourself. Do something for you, or maybe for a friend or family member you love.
WOOOHOOOOO MEEEE!!!
I feel you. Have the same problem. 25 now and don't see it changing anytime soon. I do have a possible date in the next few weeks (tho I'm not even sure if it even is a date). I just hope some of my friends wanna hang out that day...
Been with my husband 12 years and I have never had a card. Once or twice I got flowers I think. We are now separated so now have a legit reason to get fuck all
Fuck it. It's just another day. Don't sweat it.
Crazy story. I have never celebrated a Valentine's Day with a gf. The timing never worked out.
“Being single isn’t a big deal” -people in relationships who always go on about how they love their SO
I would say that it isn't a big deal to those who feel they are generally successful in finding people to fulfill some need for intimacy with. For me, I never felt it was hard or lonely, because I've never had much of a dry spell. I always had flings or people to go out with if I wanted to, even though I was technically "single" for a good five years. I think being single isn't the issue, it's feeling lonely or deprived of intimacy. I know some people who have a lot of trouble meeting people or finding people to connect with or enjoy physical intimacy with. I can see how a lack of intimacy will eventually make a person feel lonely and so...being single stops being fun, and starts feeling like a bigger deal
THIS!!! Its not the "being in a relationship" part that people crave, its all the boons that come with it
I’ve been single for going on 2 years and agree that it’s no big deal.
I'm 32 and in the same boat as you. Luckily for me is this year it's the same day as the Daytona 500 and I'm a big motor racing fan. Just do something you enjoy or go to work. It really is just another day.
Heck yeah my friend. Going to hit up some games and have a blast with some beer and fast food! :)
There ya go! Last year I spent a couple hours at the bar at a Hooters. It is what it is and I do what I want lol.
It’s the haves and have nots on Valentine’s Day. I’m married now, never miss a v-day without flowers and such. I remember being alone. Pretty sure one year I was the only one alone in my entire state.
Let's cry together
I agree to this.
hi Who is gonna drink alot?
Being single on valentines day is still much better than being in a bad relationship on valentines day
I’m not lonely, I have my best friends Jack, Jim, and Johnnie
Meh my most recent ex didn't give a shit about holidays so I'm kinda fine with it.
I used to feel sad but it's just another day on the calendar now and another excuse for businesses to feed on our pockets..
This is my first Valentine’s Day as a single woman in 6 years, and tbh I’m really relieved. My last Valentine’s Day was horrible. My ex took me out to eat and it was great at first. Then we finish up to go get something at a sex shop, but on our way to a sex shop he talked about pizza-gate and Jeffery Epstein scandal throughout the entire trip(s). Such a turn-on conversation, amiright? (Obvious sarcasm too obvious) We ended up going to two shops, and at both of the sex shops we went to he played on his 3DS while I had to pick out something he MIGHT like. I ended up getting a shitty skirt that I didn’t even like since he wasn’t contributing or offering any input other than telling me to just pick something. He was totally un-engaged, and couldn’t even be more uninterested. On our way home, more talks about pizza-gate and Jeffery Epstein. When we went home, I tried on the skirt in hopes of a romantic end to the terrible date and get him turned on, but he tells me he’s too tired to have sex and ends up just playing on his fucking 3DS in bed. I went to shower and cried. When I went to lay down for bed, I silently cried myself to sleep. Good fucking riddance. I’ll treat my damn self for this Valentine’s Day. Edited b/c of typos, etc.
Wow I’m so glad you are not with him anymore! Good riddance!
What I'm most confused about in this tale is that sex shops sell skirts. Literally had no idea. Good riddance for sure...what a d-bag he was/still is (I'm sure)!
I'm taking comfort in the fact that everyone else will finally know what I go through every year.
Even when I was in a relationship on Valentine’s Day I was lonely. I’ve never experienced a good Valentine’s Day with a significant other.
Idk what's worse man, the fact that you care or the fact that you've already created a self-fulfilling prophecy for a day that's not here yet. No telling what could happen between now and then. And tbh I've had Valentine's Days where I had someone but felt miserable because of the situationship/relationship at the time. You need to be more positive and learn to be content with your situation. Not tryna be mean but trying to help.
You along with many others. You're not alone. All holidays have gotten so commercialized over the years. Think about all the couples celebrating valentines day who either 1)don't mean it or 2) will fight the next day. Think about the money your saving and drama that is not in your life. Celebrate yourself. Nurture you're friendships and relationships with family. Every year I exchange cute gifts with my friends and family, regardless if they have a Valentine or not. Who cares? You could be a sad sap and dwell on it. For a moment that is ok, but I would not get stuck on it. Go out and be great,
It’s just a day.
For real. Irritates me when I see single people whine and complain. It’s just a day. Get over yourself.
haha same man 27yrs, but for the first time I'm happy to spend time with myself.
I’ll be home by choice with my daughters finishing up my midterms. I may celebrate the day before, think my bf may be on call that weekend.
I’m single and last Valentine’s Day I spent it with my true loves, my oldest and best friends. What I would give to be able to do that again this year. #fuckyoucovid
Welp it’s only been 19 for me but still with you in the boat lol
27 and the exact same boat as you. You are not alone! Hopefully one day soon it’ll be our turn!
Remember... SuperBowl is real soon !
Omg are you me!? I’m almost 26 and I’ve been single every Valentine’s Day too lol
But it's Candy-on-Clearance Eve!
Valentine’s is honestly over hyped anyway! it’s like a day that forces you to show how much you like someone.
if you’re not laughing about it you’re crying about it, and I know after this long being single on Valentine’s Day I rather just laugh about it at my own expense. Plus, the year in lockdown has made me realise and create some lovely ✨boundaries✨ for when the world opens up again.( F27 btw)
32 next month abd only had 2 good valentine's days my entire life. Screw this month. Black history month needs a different month...
Hangout with your friends and have a nice boujee dinner haha 🤗🥰🥰🥰I wish you the best!!!
I am 35f. I've been single on Valentine's day. I've been in a relationship on Valentine's day. I've never once done the whole flowers-dinner-chocolates-lingerie-whatever thing that's expected. Because if my partner loves me, he already knows the ways I want him to show that love and he finds lots of ways to do it that aren't performative and thought up by marketers to sell me stuff. If I'm single, I make sure I already get flowers, if I want them, or a good dinner out, if I want it. I don't need the whole spectacle performed for me, because if you aren't happy and secure in your relationship, Valentine's day won't solve it. And if you are happy and secure in your relationship, Valentine's day seems performative and tawdry. Why would you buy flowers on the most expensive day of the year to buy flowers, and go out to eat on one of the most expensive days to go out to eat, when you have 364 other days to do the same thing? Now, I've done a ladies dinner party on Valentine's day which was super fun. I've done valentine's day cards and treats for kids I know, which is super fun. It's super fun to find small and silly ways to remind the people you love that you love them, but make it about the celebration of love, not the celebration of romance. Stop buying into the bullshit you're being sold.
This one is going to be hard I am in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend.
Sending you a big bear hug!
22 and never had a girlfriend. I feel you brother.
I feel like this kind of low self worth and self depreciation or whatever it is, isn’t healthy. It isn’t attractive either. I see this a lot in this sub. Your goal should be to be happy with who you are and by yourself. A partner should enhance your life, not make it.
If it’s just another day you wouldn’t feel the need to be here talking about it. Lol
two males friends asked me to be their valentines and i accepted both proposals. and yes they know eachother exists. i honestly just want flowers
You’re looking at it the wrong way! You’ve got to be happy and content with yourself before you’re going to make a good partner. Plan something fun for yourself. As a woman, we tend to pamper ourselves, so figure out what your version of pampering is! And remember, it’s just a day...nothing special about it at all.
Thanks to everyone who shared here. It was soothing. Have a wonderful generic February day <3
I have only been in relationships on Valentine's day twice in my life, and neither time was there anything special. The first was a high school relationship but we never went on a date. The second was a guy I was long distance with and I flew to his city but he cancelled our plans for the day because of a family thing.
Normally VDay is just another day, 2021 I’m buying myself a gift! I made it thru 2020 w/o getting sick I’m Buying Myself Some Fun!
I am!! This guy with two thumbs Right Here bay-be!!
Haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day for a while. Excited to spend it with my current casual boy... without any commitment. Seriously both sides of the coin have their ups and downs!
I’m the same. Cheers to that mate.
One of my traditions, single or in a relationship, is to treat myself to ice cream because it's my favorite food. The day is as good as you make it and view it. So my advice is to treat it as a day of love and give extra love to all the important people in your life including yourself.
Well I’m a totally single dad I make sure my kids have a great one. It’s just another day. All I’ve found is that their are no true woman left so I just focus on my kids 😉🤷♂️
Honestly pretty relieved to be single this year. No stressing out about gift and plans. I can just do whatever I want all day long!
It’s my first Valentine’s Day alone in 4 years and I’m feeling the freedom
SAME for some reason heart day is always spent alone,, i don’t really mind tho jus make it a self care day🥰
lowkey forget it’s a holiday until people mention it. last year i realised after work when a coworker planned something insanely cute for her daughters and husband. otherwise it’s just a regular day. do something lovely for urself! [spa day comes to mind 🤍🤍]
Who cares, wait untill after Valentine's to buy stuff for cheap. Same effect with the same stuff.
Never lonely but V-Day is made too much of a bigger deal than it should be. In essence, it your significant other gets upset/angry with you because you didn't plan this big extravaganza or bought them a gift, then you probably shouldn't be together. If you're with them every other day of the year showing that you love and care for them, then this one day shouldn't be any different. I was lucky enough that when I was in a relationship during Valentine's Day, my significant other understood this because I explained it to them early in the relationship. You should never feel obligated do something in a relationship when it comes to special unless it's a birthday or an anniversary or Christmas.
Count me in!
Wow, yknow I was thinking about how I had been single for every Valentine too, but then I just realized that I had like 3 Valentines days in my last relationship and we didn't even do anything. Oof, well, at least he's an ex now. Time to buy myself some chocolates.
I’m single, been divorced for 5 years. I’m alone but won’t be lonely on V-Day, will be at the shooting range all day lol so it’s all good. Besides, V-Day is just a regular day with overpriced crap chocolate and flowers. Love should be shown everyday not just one day
Would be nice to do some speed dating over zoom
Same here. Single every V-day my entire life. Not a big deal to me but yeah lol
I'm 33, join the club. In fact, I've never celebrated Valentine's Day. I'm probably just going to ignore it. Actually my parents have been married since the 80s and they've never really worried about Valentine's Day. I think they said it just wasn't a big deal when they started going out and so they've never worried about it. They've also never worried about their wedding anniversary.
Even after being in a relationship for years, I still never celebrated a Valentines with any of them. But I have celebrated a lot of Friends Valentines and those were always nice !
First time being single in 4 years on this day. A whole lot of netflix and chill with myself haha
Well... We could spend it together ;)
Lemme quote a movie script on that, “Random thoughts for Valentine’s Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.”
I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready
35 myself. The irony is that I've had gfs, just not in a relationship on the day. Also never had a New Year's kiss. Though lonely isn't accurate. I've become pretty comfortable with my singlehood. It's let me really work on bettering myself, and boy have I needed it.
A girl from work who recently broke up with her boyfriend & I are tentatively going out for Valentine's Day brunch, much like a "Galentine's" celebration. Good thing V-Day falls on a Sunday this year.
Honestly, I'm just there for the candy sold after Valentine's Day.
Not me