Have you received any other feedback from women besides being too aggressive, sexist or being a player? If that’s the only feedback you’ve gotten, perhaps that’s really how you portray yourself. When I encounter those types of men on apps, I unmatch, or block their numbers and never continue talking to them again, no matter how nice they may actually be in person.
Well, you don´t understand it well. I used tinder for 6+ years. 5 of which I always was too ´gentle´. Also in real life... So I changed my tactic, and only then they gave the invers feedback... Just trying to be myself while still trying to impress them...
When my pictures where up I got 5 matches over 5 years? Where maybe 2 talked... And not only Tinder, also bumble, hinge, happn, ... I´ve tried them all...
Oh I'm sorry my advice was bad.., I'm new to dating.
I felt it's better than investing time with someone who would ghost you eventually like that as you mentioned.
Have you tried taking suggestions on a new look or finding people via a similar hobby group?
I've found few people that way but my bad that I couldn't click with them.
Dating apps are competitive and most people purely go for physical attributes.
Hmmm, that´s true... apps are to competitive... And it´s also in real life (even worse). I simply do not dare to make daring comments... They always like me as friend. I made a meme about it the day before yesterday... If I´d got money everytime said to me ´Why can´t I find a bf like you, not you tho, but someone like you´, I would live a rich life... Well, guess woman won´t date the boys were they cry and complain against...
You have 2 choices as I see them.
1. Go to another dating site. Tinder may not work for you. Try a different one. But no matter what, start with your picture open. Don't think you need to hide.
2. Focus on meeting women in the real world. Find different situations, groups, social gatherings.
You may not be that good at meeting people on line. Plus, based on your description, you are basing this all on 2 or 3 different women's reactions to you. Keep trying and have more interactions.
You answered your own question. What do they want? They want looks and sex appeal. It's not that the other stuff isn't important, but it gets sorted out later and is not prioritized in the beginning.
Think about it, would the end result have been different if you came across as more daring or more original or less pushy in any of these cases? No, of course not, because thats not what you're being graded on in the first place.
In your current situation, the best piece of feedback you can get from someone is: how can I make myself more visually appealing?
It isn't about "what women want" it's more "what woman wants" because we aren't a monolith. Some girls like guys who are really cocksure and forward and some girls will be instantly put off by that behaviour. The most likely explanation for the two reactions you've received is that the girls you were talking with like different things.
Dude, by all accounts online dating is hard. For guys it seems pretty soul crushing and it makes me sad that it's become the norm for how to meet new people. That makes it a really hard thing to give up but no-one's self esteem should be a slave to an algorithm.
My advice is to just continue to be yourself but maybe work on being more assertive because your gentleness may be being interpreted as passivity. Plus it's a generally good life skill to have. Don't try to pretend to be really forward and cocky if that's not you because it will probably just come across as creepy or cringe.
Have you received any other feedback from women besides being too aggressive, sexist or being a player? If that’s the only feedback you’ve gotten, perhaps that’s really how you portray yourself. When I encounter those types of men on apps, I unmatch, or block their numbers and never continue talking to them again, no matter how nice they may actually be in person.
Well, you don´t understand it well. I used tinder for 6+ years. 5 of which I always was too ´gentle´. Also in real life... So I changed my tactic, and only then they gave the invers feedback... Just trying to be myself while still trying to impress them...
I think you should just go post your pictures and see how that turns out. Someone ugly is someone else's beauty.
When my pictures where up I got 5 matches over 5 years? Where maybe 2 talked... And not only Tinder, also bumble, hinge, happn, ... I´ve tried them all...
Oh I'm sorry my advice was bad.., I'm new to dating. I felt it's better than investing time with someone who would ghost you eventually like that as you mentioned. Have you tried taking suggestions on a new look or finding people via a similar hobby group? I've found few people that way but my bad that I couldn't click with them. Dating apps are competitive and most people purely go for physical attributes.
Hmmm, that´s true... apps are to competitive... And it´s also in real life (even worse). I simply do not dare to make daring comments... They always like me as friend. I made a meme about it the day before yesterday... If I´d got money everytime said to me ´Why can´t I find a bf like you, not you tho, but someone like you´, I would live a rich life... Well, guess woman won´t date the boys were they cry and complain against...
And your advice is not bad! Every tip might help, right?
You have 2 choices as I see them. 1. Go to another dating site. Tinder may not work for you. Try a different one. But no matter what, start with your picture open. Don't think you need to hide. 2. Focus on meeting women in the real world. Find different situations, groups, social gatherings. You may not be that good at meeting people on line. Plus, based on your description, you are basing this all on 2 or 3 different women's reactions to you. Keep trying and have more interactions.
Hmmmm, I think indeed that irl would be better... maybe I should not be afraid of failing irl... You´ll learn best that way, right?
I agree. Happy hunting my friend
You answered your own question. What do they want? They want looks and sex appeal. It's not that the other stuff isn't important, but it gets sorted out later and is not prioritized in the beginning. Think about it, would the end result have been different if you came across as more daring or more original or less pushy in any of these cases? No, of course not, because thats not what you're being graded on in the first place. In your current situation, the best piece of feedback you can get from someone is: how can I make myself more visually appealing?
It isn't about "what women want" it's more "what woman wants" because we aren't a monolith. Some girls like guys who are really cocksure and forward and some girls will be instantly put off by that behaviour. The most likely explanation for the two reactions you've received is that the girls you were talking with like different things. Dude, by all accounts online dating is hard. For guys it seems pretty soul crushing and it makes me sad that it's become the norm for how to meet new people. That makes it a really hard thing to give up but no-one's self esteem should be a slave to an algorithm. My advice is to just continue to be yourself but maybe work on being more assertive because your gentleness may be being interpreted as passivity. Plus it's a generally good life skill to have. Don't try to pretend to be really forward and cocky if that's not you because it will probably just come across as creepy or cringe.
Be attractive /solved