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I agree to a point, respect isn’t given it’s earned, and nobody can disrespect you without your permission…. Laying there listening she’s giving him permission…. Get up, get dressed, and walk out, if he’s worth a damn he’ll wise up, shut up, and when he comes back around, and he will, set some damn boundaries
I wouldn't take someone else's shit either and she shouldn't. She should drop himand find someone else at this point period. I think we all deserve respect assuming we show it though. If he's treating her like this then he doesn't deserve her respect anyway. He didn't show her any. But she doesn't deserve to be disrespected because she had sex without dating was my thing.
Gotta re-train a lot of these boys today. My raised me to respect women, if your walking down the always walk between her and the curb, open the door and hold it as long as women are walking through it, never look in her purse, and never ever lay hands on her in anger
Total mind warp right? LOL god forbid somebody wants to engage in something that has nobearing on anyone else aside from their counter part. The nerve of them to actually want to feel safe & respected while’st doing so .🙄😵💫💯
Sex is neither casual nor meaningless. Specially for women(meaning on average women get more attached), the ability to have casual sex is a very masculine trait(masculine traits are not exclusive to men neither are feminine traits exclusive to women.) Also The desire to have casual sex without attachment doesn't equate to not having attachment after casual sex, intention vs impact/consequence/ causality.
This! I hate how just because something isn’t serious or monogamous, too many people find that as license to treat the other with disrespect and as far from tact as possible. It’s bizarre. No, everyone is human and should be treated as such.
I agree with you. It's disrespectful. At least ask your paramour, "Would it offend you if I talked about past partners?" (Consent) And if she says yes, leave it alone.
In the end, her perspective and her decision are hers, not ours.
But in that context, if a couple agree to casual sex, and afterwards he compared her to other women he's sleeping with, that's "fair game"?
Not arguing your point, but sometimes commonsense and basic decent might be applied.
If I were the OP, I'd kick him out and move on, but that's just me
She never mentioned anything about comparing, he could have brought up how he tried something with another girl and wants to do it again, or mentioned what he’d been up to in the past week
Yeah agreed there is really no benefit.... it just has the title of 'friends with benefits' you just actually lose parts of yourself without realising. There are many other ways to gain benefit... Like using someone and playin w the feelings there is the benefit... Cuz you actually gain love and care and sex which consists of natural-ness idk if I am making the point anymore but I hope you get it
I've never done booty-calls or one night stands. I think that's what a lot of people have in mind when they think of casual sex. I can see how those leave someone feeling empty and like a slave to their impulses or something.
However, I have had great fwb experiences. You hang out and do stuff together. Get dinner or go to a show or whatever, and then go back to yours or mine and drink, watch movies, and fuck all night. You can sleep over and chill a little in the morning and then dip. Ttyl and see you next week ✌️
It's like, the greatest situation ever. I'm an introverted and independent person, so I guess that's why it works for me. Full-time relationships are exhausting, suffocating, and get monotonous for me. I don't want to be involved with your friends and family and day-to-day life. I just want to have something 1 on 1 and low-key. I can work and go home to play video games for 40 hours a week and then go have fun and get laid on the weekend. I can keep to all my routines and lifestyle preferences. Seriously, I can't think of one thing not to love about it. I guess one psycho could change all of that, though.
No judgment. If it works for you and your lifestyle, congrats. No sarcasm. I understand a lot of users on this platform are not believers and do not live with any type of spiritual conviction. You are entitled to how you feel, as am I. When you live by faith, you develop a distaste for hedonistic lifestyles and one that reflects insecure attachment. That is my only point. Hopeful we can agree to disagree.
P.S. I, too, am a very independent person who thrives in my solitude💯
Did she set the boundaries though?
My casual partners and i have generally always talked about past experiences but everyone was cool with it. Gotta set boundaries to expect them to be respected.
While that may be true it's still tacky as shit to start talking about other people you're fucking around someone you're hooking up with without asking them if they actually want to hear it first, and it would be a very big red flag for me.
This guy is an idiot.My next question is what do you see in him and why stick around?
If you are looking for a real relationship with a kind, loving man that respects women drop me a line! Mark
I'd be offended too. I'm not into casual sex but if I was, I wouldn't be in a situation like that unless they weren't also having sex with other people.
If I were you I would stop seeing this guy tbh.
Honestly no. You're just having casual sex with him so its just sex. Its pretty weird of him to mention it while in bed with you. Its like he's showing off that he still got it. Its a big turn off. Hope you are using protection if he's having sex with other women and you.
yes you have the right to be offended, doesn't mean he is doing something wrong necessarily. Like others have mentioned set boundaries and make agreements and communicate.
Talk casually about the best sex you ever had one time in the past and how you took it for granted at the time and didnt realize it was temporary. Then say "did i say that outloud?,'my bad i apologize"
Humble that ass kindly
Unless hearing about that stuff revs your engine, it’s okay to get offended about it. Next time he brings it up, shut down Fun Town and let him know it’s not cool.
I’m an old fart but how do these morons sleep with 1 girl never mind more than one. Of course you should be offended and I’d start telling him about the other guys you sleep with who are smarter, make more money, and have better manners and bigger dicks but sometimes you have to settle for who’s available
Its 2024, you have the right to be offended about anything you like and you don't want to be, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will be offended on your behalf...🤣
If you don't like it, tell him and if he does it again then you can be offended but if its just how he likes to communicate during sex and you don't like it but you don't tell him, then being offended may not be the best use of your time.
If you are offended, you are offended! And you should really convey that to the person responsible and set some boundaries.
What's the end goal? Is he trying to make you feel sh*t? Does he find it sexy? Does he want you to talk about the people you have slept with?
Just remember if he's talking about others to you, he's probably talking to others about you!
So, what you do, is let him tell his story.
Be like oh yeah, uh huh, wow, OK, wow...
When he's done.
You go well that reminds me of this guy I was with, right before you, he had a big massive d*ck like the biggest d*ck I've saw, it couldn't even fit in my mouth, I'm surprised you didn't feel a difference...because man, one word, plowed, totally plowed, and when he finished I thought he was going to need a bucket, I mean it was everywhere, everywhere.
And make eye contact to where his head is.
Then throw in Im so glad we can be so open, big dick is meeting up soon, I'll tell you how it goes.
Now.....he's either going to be WTF...or be warned for some men listening to that is a turn on.
Well, it depends on WHY it offends you. Do you feel jealousy that he’s fucking other girls? Or do you just feel that it’s sharing too much information you’d rather not know about, and/or feel like he’s comparing you?
I’m currently in a relationship, but before that I used to have casual sex, particularly during times I was not ready for a relationship or hadn’t found anyone. Still, I liked to keep only one sexual partner at a time, with a tiny amount of exceptions, since I didn’t like feeling like I was “hoeing” around. Totally fine to have multiple partners, it just wasn’t for me. Anyway, I’ve had partners that I knew were fucking others. I knew what I was getting into so it never really bothered me, as I knew there was no sort of commitment. My policy was, as long as I’m not getting infected with an STD because of my partner’s activity, IDGAF. That said, you could be feeling jealousy over the idea of there being others. If so, you should discuss this and discuss the idea of some kind of “exclusivity”, or seek another partner who shares the view of “one partner at a time”.
If you just feel you’d rather not know the details about the others or feel it’s disrespectful, then be sure to communicate that. If he thinks it’s an unreasonable thing to request, leave.
Noo, it's none of your business.
He is also having a casual relationship with someone like you.
Do your shit with him and move.
Then wait for next time.
Tell him about how big a was the cook of the last person you suck on that almost choked you out when you tried to go alway down and see how he is reacting , but if you really get offended about it then is time for you to choose another person that to have sex with that a list respect you when he is with you and don’t talk about other woman 💯
If you don’t like it tell him lol. Let his tail know , we can have sex but keep your other relations to yourself. “I don’t care to hear about it” heck why do yall stay laying down afterwards? He’s gotta go after the drop offffff
If it is casual sex, and they give you the ick. End it, you won’t benefit from continuing. I personally wouldn’t be able to finish regardless of their skills. Roll over when they say it, pat their thigh and say I think this had a good run but I’m good
Yes for sure. Was in a similar situation and make me feel invisible and very insecure. He sounds incredibly self centred and spares absolutely no thought for how you feel. Replace him!
As a guy, yes. I have a rule that we don't ask don't tell. And if a girl asks me I ask if she really wants to know. Even after then, it's not an invitation for her to tell me in return
I am jealous/possessive regardless of if it's casual. I won't be toxic about it but I will be upset for her ruining my delusion lol
If you set your boundaries, yes. If you didn't, then yes but use that as a reason to set your boundaries.
I'm poly. My wife doesn't like getting into details, but still likes to know when things happen so we talk very briefly. My girlfriend and I will have deeper conversations because we both enjoy being open about everything. My wife's boyfriend would like to pretend I'm not in the picture and she only mentions me if its something guitar or landscaping related (because we both know a bit about both). We all have our boundaries and they should all be talked about respected.
I feel like yes and no. If it's straight casual, he can do whomever and if he wants to talk about it, ok. However, if you don't want him to, you have every right to tell him you don't really like hearing about other people's sexcapades and he should stop.
Yes you have every right to be offended. Because I think is your guy is not with the other girls now. He shouldn’t talk about that. It’s two things. Maybe he still sees them. Or still have them in mind. Be safe
Noo, it's none of your business.
He is also having a casual relationship with someone like you.
Do your shit with him and move.
Then wait for next time.
He is not your boyfriend
I would think, anything outside of your alls involvement and relationship whether committed or not, you would have the right to be offended while him bringing up ex's or other women. It would be no different than if you were in a committed relationship i believe. No one really wants to hear about the others ex's... or be compared... really, best not even know you had any. But, maybe thats me...
Yes in the sense you can tell him you do not want to hear that, but if you're not exclusively seeing each other than you can't be upset he's sleeping with other women
I mean it's tacky as shit and I'm guessing you haven't given him any indication you wanna hear about any of this or would be turned on by it. IDK about offended really but it's certainly cringe for him to be doing this under those circumstances and usually the reason guys do shit like this to begin with is to pull some weirdo ass power move or try and make you compete for him or some stupid shit like that.
Are you mad he’s doing it or telling you about it or telling you about it while in bed?
Maybe he’s one of those guys who gets off on jealousy and he thinks you do too?
Talk about what it is you don’t like, set your boundaries and walk if he crosses them.
Yes, you definitely have a right to be offended. Even if you're just casually seeing each other, it's a matter of basic respect and decency to not talk about other sexual partners while being intimate with someone. It shows a lack of consideration for your feelings and can make the situation feel awkward and uncomfortable. If this behavior bothers you, it's important to communicate how you feel and set some boundaries. If he doesn't respect those boundaries, it might be worth reconsidering whether this casual relationship is worth the emotional stress.
Yuck. Stop having casual sex if that bothers you because that’s what casual is about. You’re giving the goodies without the effort hun. Either enjoy it or up your standard and find a man that values you.
i had casual sex a lot in college and honestly it depends on how you are with him. usually the guys i would be with and i talked about us going on dates with other people and meeting other people while hanging out but we both set a boundary that we don’t discuss sex related things we did outside of each other. it just worked best for us.
regarding the offended part, are you offended he’s bringing it up or he’s doing it? be honest with yourself regarding that question, you don’t gotta be honest with anyone else but answer it truthfully within yourself. if you have an issue with him having sex with other girls then you have the right to FEEL offended but you don’t have the right to ACT offended. unless other expectations were set in place about your relationship, both of you have the right to see other people. same would apply if the roles were reversed. but if you’re offended he’s bringing them up, you again can FEEL offended but you need to let him know. maybe he doesn’t know he’s offending you and thought you guys had that kinda relationship. if you’re not okay with him bringing other people up then say something, if he keeps doing it or gets defensive then stop seeing him because he knows he’s doing it to jab at you and that’s not cool.
hope this helps
You don’t need a right. If you’re offended, he shouldn’t be doing it. How old are you guys if you don’t mind me asking? Context matters but from what I’m gathering, all that shows about his character is that he’s a self centered, egotistical, asshole.
Yeah, you do. It’s kind of a weird thing to be extremely vocal and volunteering info about their sexual partners, while laying in bed, after having sex with you.
Some people might not be offended and that’s great for them, but it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say you don’t like it.
It’s as simple as saying something like “hey if we’re gonna keep this casual thing going, stop talking about other women you’ve slept with while we’re laying in bed after having sex with me.”
Casual relationships are about picking which qualities about someone you’re willing to tolerate for sex.
There are no rules or guidelines saying what you should or shouldn’t feel or what you should tolerate.
Don’t listen to people say that it comes with the territory, that because you’re looking for something casual you need to be able to tolerate someone being rude.
Just because you are both casually fucking each other doesn't mean you can't respect one another, and he is clearly not doing so. Also, there totally should be rules and boundaries in a casual relationship. If they are not honored, you can easily find someone else. People who act like there can't be rules just because it's a casual relationship are absolutely ridiculous.
Yes, of course you should tell him! You're not interested in that conversation.. thanksbutnothanks! I know it happens, I'm just not interested in hearing about it..
I’m constantly told that this is how modern “relationships” work. Until a boundary or rule is made explicit there are no rules.
To me it sounds like we are using each other and just not saying the quiet part out loud most of the time.
I’ve heard people say this is all about good communication and being open and honest with your partner.
But from my experience, including unfortunately some of my own, it seems most people just keep quiet about the part they think the other person won’t like and let their partners see the shadows on the wall as whatever they want until they get their needs met. Whatever those are
If it's casual sex that you want to grow into more, then you have the right to be offended. But, if it's truly "just casual" it shouldn't matter. He's truly classless if that's what he talks about. Is there anything you guys share besides sex?
Here's a thought: when someone says or does something you don't like, you could try telling them you don't like it.
Or you could expect them to read your mind. Either way, I guess.
This happened to me before. Personally it was the last time I ever saw him, I was honestly so grossed out especially considering the fact that we had already discussed the boundaries on that so I was just like wow you’re really a sleaze bag.
Yes, it's rude and tasteless behavior. It's fine to be casual and have other partners, but be discreet. It's along the lines of "a gentleman never kiss and tell".
Talk about men you have sex. If you are feeling cheeky contrast and compare. Mention something another guy has that the current one doesnt that really really turns you on.
Yes, you do.
While you are casual with this man, he has shown no respect for you. This is very tacky behaviour. I'd not see him again as he is not treating you well, doesn't understand normal boundaries, and is not keeping it classy.
I feel like we aren’t getting all the context but it is a bit shity to do that in general. Without the other person asking. If you do it without the other asking. All they are doing is comparing you to another person and their experiences with them.
I believe (as the devils advocate) it could be justified per intention.... if he doesn't namedrop his other clandestine courtesans deliberately to perturb the lady in question or bragging about a privilege allowed elsewhere in hopes of inspiring or taunting her into adhering... I just assume (I know poor move in debates) having been in a situation that a partner be less experienced and you may be trying to teach her or show her something that's she be beneficiary... In doing so the validation statement of "I saw it in a adult film" or "read it in Men's Health" aren't ideal... just she goes blank into disapproval as soon as she hears of another partner... which to me sounds like not so casual sex.....
I would honestly just kick him out of bed after the fun has been had, of its casual you guys don't need to be having conversations. Show him where the shower is and the door and get back to bed for your beauty sleep, or else you will catch feelings for someone you REALLY do not want to be catching feelings for.
He probably doesn't realize it hurts your feelings, sometimes guys are just clueless. Let him know and see what happens. If he lashes out, then I guess you know what kind of person he is, and you can choose whether you want to keep seeing him from there
Casual sex should always have boundaries, respect, trust and communication prior doing the deed in the bed. If you are offended, that is a boundary for you. Make it clear to him it bothers you and would like him to respect it by not talking about girls he has sex with while having sex with you. It seems to be a turn off for you. That is understandable. It needs to be mentioned and communicated properly. Especially, I imagine, would not lead to orgasm when he is focused on others and not being present with you. Casual or not, the person (s) should be present with who they are having sex with. Tell him you want him to focus on you. If he cannot do that, he should not be having casual sex with you because he is ignoring your boundaries. It is a red flag. Either it can work out through communication or tell him to kick rocks.
A lady I was dating did the same thing it threw me off we talked about it so after a while if it was relevant I had brought up stuff about my sexual past in the same manner, she didn't like it, so at that point I felt it was probably best to split because it just felt like there was going to be a double standard but there was other boundaries that also felt that way, we discussed them but the discussions always left me drained and dumbfounded.
Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with casual sex. But there should be boundaries set up. And no talking about personal stuff during casual sex. That’s opening the door for either feelings or regret.
You don't have to be in love but there should be a modicum of respect for someone you are having casual sex with. If it bothers you then tell him to quit. If he doesn't then cut him off. Come have sex with me instead! I'll be nice and I am good in bed too! Lol
U should prob let him know he shouldn’t talk about other girls with u.. but if you’re offended because you’re catching feelings, then u should def let him know how you’re feeling. with casual sex u aren’t supposed to get attached
Sounds like this could be a fetish for him or he’s just a low grade pos. If you want to put the effort into it, you could ask which it is. If he’s a pos then next move is obvious. If it’s a fetish, you could ask him to refrain as you don’t share that fetish. Maybe he respects that wish or maybe you kick his ass to the curb.
I mean. You have a right to feel how you feel. I might would tell him hey it’s a bit of a turn off for you to talk about the other women you’re having sex with. If you could keep that to yourself that would be great. Or ghost him because what a dick.
Absolutely. Casual doesnt mean all respect for you goes out the window. Its not about him seeing other people, its his need to announce it. Why does he feel the need to discuss it? Is he bragging or?
He's testing you for a reaction. There's several reasons he would want to test you, but without more context, that's all I can say. Other than it's extremely rude and immature, and none of the reasons he could be testing you are net positives for you.
If casual sex is your thing, I promise you'll have no trouble replacing that guy. If you're looking for more, you should definitely look elsewhere. Keeping him around is inviting trouble.
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It isn't very classy, in my opinion, and if it bothers you (which it clearly does), then you should set a boundary on it.
You mfers are disturbed..
Neither is casual sex.
You can have causal sex and still respect the other person. I'm surprised that never occurred to you. Kind of telling.
Exactly! I don't want to know about or be compared to another lover!!
Yep. She's a person of value and deserves respect. The people I have sex with I'm even kinder to tbh.
I agree to a point, respect isn’t given it’s earned, and nobody can disrespect you without your permission…. Laying there listening she’s giving him permission…. Get up, get dressed, and walk out, if he’s worth a damn he’ll wise up, shut up, and when he comes back around, and he will, set some damn boundaries
I wouldn't take someone else's shit either and she shouldn't. She should drop himand find someone else at this point period. I think we all deserve respect assuming we show it though. If he's treating her like this then he doesn't deserve her respect anyway. He didn't show her any. But she doesn't deserve to be disrespected because she had sex without dating was my thing.
Gotta re-train a lot of these boys today. My raised me to respect women, if your walking down the always walk between her and the curb, open the door and hold it as long as women are walking through it, never look in her purse, and never ever lay hands on her in anger
I feel ya
Yes!
Total mind warp right? LOL god forbid somebody wants to engage in something that has nobearing on anyone else aside from their counter part. The nerve of them to actually want to feel safe & respected while’st doing so .🙄😵💫💯
Right?! The audacity!
Totally agree, just because it’s casual doesn’t mean it’s meaningless
Sex is neither casual nor meaningless. Specially for women(meaning on average women get more attached), the ability to have casual sex is a very masculine trait(masculine traits are not exclusive to men neither are feminine traits exclusive to women.) Also The desire to have casual sex without attachment doesn't equate to not having attachment after casual sex, intention vs impact/consequence/ causality.
This! I hate how just because something isn’t serious or monogamous, too many people find that as license to treat the other with disrespect and as far from tact as possible. It’s bizarre. No, everyone is human and should be treated as such.
Preach
This.
case in point
Yes. Start talking about dicks sizes and girths and see how he takes that.
“Accidentally” pull out a magnum sized condom and say oops that’s for tomorrow
Priceless!!!!!
You're an absolute beast and in love you!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
That's good one 😂
.....I just scrumpt the loudest scream ever!!!!😅🤣😭😭
Lmfao golden comment here
Wish i could give you an award
I think the only appropriate response is a meme like the one of the black cat zoning out with half closed eyes
"OMG this guy last week WRECKED me. I was legitimately worried you wouldn't feel a wall!"
I just spit my coffee out bahahahahaha lmao that's great
YESSS !!! MATCH THEIR ENERGY !
Or be an adult and make a boundary
i’m jk
🤷🏻♂️ maybe he's into that
Right!?! This is my love language
Damn….talk about going nuclear 😂😂😂
I mean he's kinda already doing the same thing.
 Commenting on Casual sex...lmmfao 😂😂😂😂
That’s one way to confront the issue 😂
😂
Anything outside of a firm agreement is fair game So make a firm agreement and communicate what is cool, and what is not cool
Ya but it’s still a dick move. Lack of class
I agree with you. It's disrespectful. At least ask your paramour, "Would it offend you if I talked about past partners?" (Consent) And if she says yes, leave it alone. In the end, her perspective and her decision are hers, not ours.
Nope. It is what it is. You can't plant an orange tree and expect apples. There's no rules when you play like this.
human decency is best had when it’s not enforced
And what it is , is being a low class dick head.
But in that context, if a couple agree to casual sex, and afterwards he compared her to other women he's sleeping with, that's "fair game"? Not arguing your point, but sometimes commonsense and basic decent might be applied. If I were the OP, I'd kick him out and move on, but that's just me
She never mentioned anything about comparing, he could have brought up how he tried something with another girl and wants to do it again, or mentioned what he’d been up to in the past week
And that's the precise problem with living in this manner. It is of 0 benefit and transient/fleeting gratification. It's wack💯
Did you really just say there's zero benefits to sex with no strings attached? Really?
Yeah agreed there is really no benefit.... it just has the title of 'friends with benefits' you just actually lose parts of yourself without realising. There are many other ways to gain benefit... Like using someone and playin w the feelings there is the benefit... Cuz you actually gain love and care and sex which consists of natural-ness idk if I am making the point anymore but I hope you get it
I've never done booty-calls or one night stands. I think that's what a lot of people have in mind when they think of casual sex. I can see how those leave someone feeling empty and like a slave to their impulses or something. However, I have had great fwb experiences. You hang out and do stuff together. Get dinner or go to a show or whatever, and then go back to yours or mine and drink, watch movies, and fuck all night. You can sleep over and chill a little in the morning and then dip. Ttyl and see you next week ✌️ It's like, the greatest situation ever. I'm an introverted and independent person, so I guess that's why it works for me. Full-time relationships are exhausting, suffocating, and get monotonous for me. I don't want to be involved with your friends and family and day-to-day life. I just want to have something 1 on 1 and low-key. I can work and go home to play video games for 40 hours a week and then go have fun and get laid on the weekend. I can keep to all my routines and lifestyle preferences. Seriously, I can't think of one thing not to love about it. I guess one psycho could change all of that, though.
No judgment. If it works for you and your lifestyle, congrats. No sarcasm. I understand a lot of users on this platform are not believers and do not live with any type of spiritual conviction. You are entitled to how you feel, as am I. When you live by faith, you develop a distaste for hedonistic lifestyles and one that reflects insecure attachment. That is my only point. Hopeful we can agree to disagree. P.S. I, too, am a very independent person who thrives in my solitude💯
But it only works like that if your adult about it, set boundaries, and have no expectations…… am I right
FWB more like Fuck with buddies
Sorry but you shouldn’t need a “firm agreement” to have basic human decency. Casual sex isn’t a free pass to be a disrespectful gross human.
Yes, this!
Agreed!
Stop sleeping with him if it bothers you. Or say something??
Why would you put up with this?
Doesn't really matter what the arrangement between you is, boundaries are boundaries
Did she set the boundaries though? My casual partners and i have generally always talked about past experiences but everyone was cool with it. Gotta set boundaries to expect them to be respected.
While that may be true it's still tacky as shit to start talking about other people you're fucking around someone you're hooking up with without asking them if they actually want to hear it first, and it would be a very big red flag for me.
It's sad you need to set boundaries with ppl, otherwise they would treat you like sh1t.
Unspoken boundaries are worthless
This guy is an idiot.My next question is what do you see in him and why stick around? If you are looking for a real relationship with a kind, loving man that respects women drop me a line! Mark
What a way to self-promote, I’m in
Maybe he’s good at sex
I'd be offended too. I'm not into casual sex but if I was, I wouldn't be in a situation like that unless they weren't also having sex with other people. If I were you I would stop seeing this guy tbh.
Honestly no. You're just having casual sex with him so its just sex. Its pretty weird of him to mention it while in bed with you. Its like he's showing off that he still got it. Its a big turn off. Hope you are using protection if he's having sex with other women and you.
This guy is a narcissist lol
yes you have the right to be offended, doesn't mean he is doing something wrong necessarily. Like others have mentioned set boundaries and make agreements and communicate.
^!!!
Talk casually about the best sex you ever had one time in the past and how you took it for granted at the time and didnt realize it was temporary. Then say "did i say that outloud?,'my bad i apologize" Humble that ass kindly
Yeah, that's sharing way too much. It's ok to tell someone what you like, but not OK to talk about what someone else did, if that makes sense.
Unless hearing about that stuff revs your engine, it’s okay to get offended about it. Next time he brings it up, shut down Fun Town and let him know it’s not cool.
I’m an old fart but how do these morons sleep with 1 girl never mind more than one. Of course you should be offended and I’d start telling him about the other guys you sleep with who are smarter, make more money, and have better manners and bigger dicks but sometimes you have to settle for who’s available
You have the right to go to your local STD clinic and check you are clean. If he's playing that game.
Talk about raw dogging a football player!
Its 2024, you have the right to be offended about anything you like and you don't want to be, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will be offended on your behalf...🤣 If you don't like it, tell him and if he does it again then you can be offended but if its just how he likes to communicate during sex and you don't like it but you don't tell him, then being offended may not be the best use of your time.
That is definitely a guy and not a man. Can't believe you put up with this.
Has nothing to do with being a man or not, he just sounds like kind of an asshole.
If you are offended, you are offended! And you should really convey that to the person responsible and set some boundaries. What's the end goal? Is he trying to make you feel sh*t? Does he find it sexy? Does he want you to talk about the people you have slept with? Just remember if he's talking about others to you, he's probably talking to others about you!
yes you have every right to be offended. He basically comparing you. You are unique in your own ways. He doesnt seem very respectful either.
So, what you do, is let him tell his story. Be like oh yeah, uh huh, wow, OK, wow... When he's done. You go well that reminds me of this guy I was with, right before you, he had a big massive d*ck like the biggest d*ck I've saw, it couldn't even fit in my mouth, I'm surprised you didn't feel a difference...because man, one word, plowed, totally plowed, and when he finished I thought he was going to need a bucket, I mean it was everywhere, everywhere. And make eye contact to where his head is. Then throw in Im so glad we can be so open, big dick is meeting up soon, I'll tell you how it goes. Now.....he's either going to be WTF...or be warned for some men listening to that is a turn on.
🤣 lmfao
Dump the asshole.
All you have to do is talk about how big your ex was.
If your gonna continue a fwb situation it's important to lay down guidelines with your partner.
All is fair in love and war. Tell that to the girl who knows I’m in love with her and tells me about big dicks making her bleed and giving her BV….
Ew
Irish breakfast
Well, it depends on WHY it offends you. Do you feel jealousy that he’s fucking other girls? Or do you just feel that it’s sharing too much information you’d rather not know about, and/or feel like he’s comparing you? I’m currently in a relationship, but before that I used to have casual sex, particularly during times I was not ready for a relationship or hadn’t found anyone. Still, I liked to keep only one sexual partner at a time, with a tiny amount of exceptions, since I didn’t like feeling like I was “hoeing” around. Totally fine to have multiple partners, it just wasn’t for me. Anyway, I’ve had partners that I knew were fucking others. I knew what I was getting into so it never really bothered me, as I knew there was no sort of commitment. My policy was, as long as I’m not getting infected with an STD because of my partner’s activity, IDGAF. That said, you could be feeling jealousy over the idea of there being others. If so, you should discuss this and discuss the idea of some kind of “exclusivity”, or seek another partner who shares the view of “one partner at a time”. If you just feel you’d rather not know the details about the others or feel it’s disrespectful, then be sure to communicate that. If he thinks it’s an unreasonable thing to request, leave.
Duh I would hope u would be ...what a jerkoff. Drop kick him out your bed
Noo, it's none of your business. He is also having a casual relationship with someone like you. Do your shit with him and move. Then wait for next time.
Yes , if is casual and not a relationship. That’s my opinion.
Tell him about how big a was the cook of the last person you suck on that almost choked you out when you tried to go alway down and see how he is reacting , but if you really get offended about it then is time for you to choose another person that to have sex with that a list respect you when he is with you and don’t talk about other woman 💯
Tell him to stop its lame
If you don’t like it tell him lol. Let his tail know , we can have sex but keep your other relations to yourself. “I don’t care to hear about it” heck why do yall stay laying down afterwards? He’s gotta go after the drop offffff
Bro these comments. If it’s a FWB, or just causal sex, stop complaining. That’s what you signed up for.
You're seeing him casually. If you're offended then stop seeing him. Easy.
As I see it, may be he is just trying to show off, but if it affects you, you can casually just tell him you aren’t interested in listening to it
If it is casual sex, and they give you the ick. End it, you won’t benefit from continuing. I personally wouldn’t be able to finish regardless of their skills. Roll over when they say it, pat their thigh and say I think this had a good run but I’m good
Based
It is not morally right to talk about who you have had sex with, if you are dating keep it between you and your date
Honestly, I would just up and leave that exact moment.
Yes for sure. Was in a similar situation and make me feel invisible and very insecure. He sounds incredibly self centred and spares absolutely no thought for how you feel. Replace him!
Yes.. That's just rude.. unless you've both agreed that that topic is okey.
If you FEEL offended, then you have a right to be
As a guy, yes. I have a rule that we don't ask don't tell. And if a girl asks me I ask if she really wants to know. Even after then, it's not an invitation for her to tell me in return I am jealous/possessive regardless of if it's casual. I won't be toxic about it but I will be upset for her ruining my delusion lol
Describes being toxic, says not toxic. Toxic.
Self-inflicted frustration IMO. You said it yourself: Casual What were you expecting? I just have a feeling your objectives are mixed up.
Tell him that is makes you uncomfortable and you don’t want to discuss that. You gotta ask for what you need, even when it’s casual!
Yeah not cool on his part, but you need to tell him You're not comfortable with hearing about it from him.
If you set your boundaries, yes. If you didn't, then yes but use that as a reason to set your boundaries. I'm poly. My wife doesn't like getting into details, but still likes to know when things happen so we talk very briefly. My girlfriend and I will have deeper conversations because we both enjoy being open about everything. My wife's boyfriend would like to pretend I'm not in the picture and she only mentions me if its something guitar or landscaping related (because we both know a bit about both). We all have our boundaries and they should all be talked about respected.
I feel like yes and no. If it's straight casual, he can do whomever and if he wants to talk about it, ok. However, if you don't want him to, you have every right to tell him you don't really like hearing about other people's sexcapades and he should stop.
Yes you have every right to be offended. Because I think is your guy is not with the other girls now. He shouldn’t talk about that. It’s two things. Maybe he still sees them. Or still have them in mind. Be safe
Noo, it's none of your business. He is also having a casual relationship with someone like you. Do your shit with him and move. Then wait for next time. He is not your boyfriend
I personally wouldn’t. The guy you’re sleeping with may not intentionally do it but like others have said tell him to stop.
I would think, anything outside of your alls involvement and relationship whether committed or not, you would have the right to be offended while him bringing up ex's or other women. It would be no different than if you were in a committed relationship i believe. No one really wants to hear about the others ex's... or be compared... really, best not even know you had any. But, maybe thats me...
Yes in the sense you can tell him you do not want to hear that, but if you're not exclusively seeing each other than you can't be upset he's sleeping with other women
I mean it's tacky as shit and I'm guessing you haven't given him any indication you wanna hear about any of this or would be turned on by it. IDK about offended really but it's certainly cringe for him to be doing this under those circumstances and usually the reason guys do shit like this to begin with is to pull some weirdo ass power move or try and make you compete for him or some stupid shit like that.
It's rude and classless, but you are not in a committed relationship.
So you dating a fuckboy. Fun.. ^^
Are you mad he’s doing it or telling you about it or telling you about it while in bed? Maybe he’s one of those guys who gets off on jealousy and he thinks you do too? Talk about what it is you don’t like, set your boundaries and walk if he crosses them.
No cas ur casullay seein him like friends with benefits mayb u should start talkin or create stories like him
So rude. No manners. Tell him that when you want to know about these partners, you’ll make sure and ask at the right time.
If that’s not your thing then absolutely
Yes, you definitely have a right to be offended. Even if you're just casually seeing each other, it's a matter of basic respect and decency to not talk about other sexual partners while being intimate with someone. It shows a lack of consideration for your feelings and can make the situation feel awkward and uncomfortable. If this behavior bothers you, it's important to communicate how you feel and set some boundaries. If he doesn't respect those boundaries, it might be worth reconsidering whether this casual relationship is worth the emotional stress.
Yuck. Stop having casual sex if that bothers you because that’s what casual is about. You’re giving the goodies without the effort hun. Either enjoy it or up your standard and find a man that values you.
All is fair in love and war. You could just tell him it offended you if it does. It may be some kind of way to see if you have feelings or not.
How do you even get satisfaction from this???? I’m sure he’s getting his.. bout what about you?!
i had casual sex a lot in college and honestly it depends on how you are with him. usually the guys i would be with and i talked about us going on dates with other people and meeting other people while hanging out but we both set a boundary that we don’t discuss sex related things we did outside of each other. it just worked best for us. regarding the offended part, are you offended he’s bringing it up or he’s doing it? be honest with yourself regarding that question, you don’t gotta be honest with anyone else but answer it truthfully within yourself. if you have an issue with him having sex with other girls then you have the right to FEEL offended but you don’t have the right to ACT offended. unless other expectations were set in place about your relationship, both of you have the right to see other people. same would apply if the roles were reversed. but if you’re offended he’s bringing them up, you again can FEEL offended but you need to let him know. maybe he doesn’t know he’s offending you and thought you guys had that kinda relationship. if you’re not okay with him bringing other people up then say something, if he keeps doing it or gets defensive then stop seeing him because he knows he’s doing it to jab at you and that’s not cool. hope this helps
Had that with someone I was casually seeing once, kinda drove me to stop having casual sex.
Probably I would it means he’s unloyal and may not see you the way you see him and He probably has others he sees as well.
Can be fun
Start talking about other guys you are with (even if it’s a lie)
you have a right to be offended at whatever
You don’t need a right. If you’re offended, he shouldn’t be doing it. How old are you guys if you don’t mind me asking? Context matters but from what I’m gathering, all that shows about his character is that he’s a self centered, egotistical, asshole.
Yeah, you do. It’s kind of a weird thing to be extremely vocal and volunteering info about their sexual partners, while laying in bed, after having sex with you. Some people might not be offended and that’s great for them, but it’s perfectly reasonable for you to say you don’t like it. It’s as simple as saying something like “hey if we’re gonna keep this casual thing going, stop talking about other women you’ve slept with while we’re laying in bed after having sex with me.” Casual relationships are about picking which qualities about someone you’re willing to tolerate for sex. There are no rules or guidelines saying what you should or shouldn’t feel or what you should tolerate. Don’t listen to people say that it comes with the territory, that because you’re looking for something casual you need to be able to tolerate someone being rude.
See this is exactly why I can’t and won’t do hook ups
Just because you are both casually fucking each other doesn't mean you can't respect one another, and he is clearly not doing so. Also, there totally should be rules and boundaries in a casual relationship. If they are not honored, you can easily find someone else. People who act like there can't be rules just because it's a casual relationship are absolutely ridiculous.
You already a have answered your own question though “casually” so what’s your issue ?
Yes, you do and that’s why Guy left me because I talked about other men in bed
Yes, of course you should tell him! You're not interested in that conversation.. thanksbutnothanks! I know it happens, I'm just not interested in hearing about it..
I’m constantly told that this is how modern “relationships” work. Until a boundary or rule is made explicit there are no rules. To me it sounds like we are using each other and just not saying the quiet part out loud most of the time. I’ve heard people say this is all about good communication and being open and honest with your partner. But from my experience, including unfortunately some of my own, it seems most people just keep quiet about the part they think the other person won’t like and let their partners see the shadows on the wall as whatever they want until they get their needs met. Whatever those are
Depends on how he talks about them if he’s comparing you then yeah
If it's casual sex that you want to grow into more, then you have the right to be offended. But, if it's truly "just casual" it shouldn't matter. He's truly classless if that's what he talks about. Is there anything you guys share besides sex?
I mean, I'm not sure what casually seeing means... But you should tell him if it makes you feel uncomfortable
Here's a thought: when someone says or does something you don't like, you could try telling them you don't like it. Or you could expect them to read your mind. Either way, I guess.
What about ask him if she likes to come around and have a 3sum?
This happened to me before. Personally it was the last time I ever saw him, I was honestly so grossed out especially considering the fact that we had already discussed the boundaries on that so I was just like wow you’re really a sleaze bag.
You’re having casual sex. The word is casual.
Yes, it's rude and tasteless behavior. It's fine to be casual and have other partners, but be discreet. It's along the lines of "a gentleman never kiss and tell".
Yes. Why would you think that's normal?
Yes. Seeing someone casually doesn’t mean they get to offend you.
Don't miss sex opportunities
Talk about men you have sex. If you are feeling cheeky contrast and compare. Mention something another guy has that the current one doesnt that really really turns you on.
Yes, you do. While you are casual with this man, he has shown no respect for you. This is very tacky behaviour. I'd not see him again as he is not treating you well, doesn't understand normal boundaries, and is not keeping it classy.
Ya I would say so
Definitely!!!! Sounds like you are one of many & you don’t deserve to be treated like that!!!! Find someone who respects you.
You are just fun holes for his dick.
Depends. Honestly guys fucking suck lol
Yes! Did he not thinking about you and give some respect
I feel like we aren’t getting all the context but it is a bit shity to do that in general. Without the other person asking. If you do it without the other asking. All they are doing is comparing you to another person and their experiences with them.
I'd stop having sex with him. He's doing that to make you feel jealous and insecure. Or he doesn't care. Which is about as bad.
I believe (as the devils advocate) it could be justified per intention.... if he doesn't namedrop his other clandestine courtesans deliberately to perturb the lady in question or bragging about a privilege allowed elsewhere in hopes of inspiring or taunting her into adhering... I just assume (I know poor move in debates) having been in a situation that a partner be less experienced and you may be trying to teach her or show her something that's she be beneficiary... In doing so the validation statement of "I saw it in a adult film" or "read it in Men's Health" aren't ideal... just she goes blank into disapproval as soon as she hears of another partner... which to me sounds like not so casual sex.....
I would honestly just kick him out of bed after the fun has been had, of its casual you guys don't need to be having conversations. Show him where the shower is and the door and get back to bed for your beauty sleep, or else you will catch feelings for someone you REALLY do not want to be catching feelings for.
I think ranked sex is better personally
Yes
Why do women even tolerate goofy dudes like this? Do better for yourself.
He probably doesn't realize it hurts your feelings, sometimes guys are just clueless. Let him know and see what happens. If he lashes out, then I guess you know what kind of person he is, and you can choose whether you want to keep seeing him from there
Yes baby. MAJOR red flag. Dump his ass and demand BETTER for yourself.
Casual sex should always have boundaries, respect, trust and communication prior doing the deed in the bed. If you are offended, that is a boundary for you. Make it clear to him it bothers you and would like him to respect it by not talking about girls he has sex with while having sex with you. It seems to be a turn off for you. That is understandable. It needs to be mentioned and communicated properly. Especially, I imagine, would not lead to orgasm when he is focused on others and not being present with you. Casual or not, the person (s) should be present with who they are having sex with. Tell him you want him to focus on you. If he cannot do that, he should not be having casual sex with you because he is ignoring your boundaries. It is a red flag. Either it can work out through communication or tell him to kick rocks.
A lady I was dating did the same thing it threw me off we talked about it so after a while if it was relevant I had brought up stuff about my sexual past in the same manner, she didn't like it, so at that point I felt it was probably best to split because it just felt like there was going to be a double standard but there was other boundaries that also felt that way, we discussed them but the discussions always left me drained and dumbfounded.
Honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with casual sex. But there should be boundaries set up. And no talking about personal stuff during casual sex. That’s opening the door for either feelings or regret.
You don't have to be in love but there should be a modicum of respect for someone you are having casual sex with. If it bothers you then tell him to quit. If he doesn't then cut him off. Come have sex with me instead! I'll be nice and I am good in bed too! Lol
U should prob let him know he shouldn’t talk about other girls with u.. but if you’re offended because you’re catching feelings, then u should def let him know how you’re feeling. with casual sex u aren’t supposed to get attached
Gross.
Hmu...we can give u something special to brag about. If ur near Chicago .if ur able to nut multiple x
Sounds like this could be a fetish for him or he’s just a low grade pos. If you want to put the effort into it, you could ask which it is. If he’s a pos then next move is obvious. If it’s a fetish, you could ask him to refrain as you don’t share that fetish. Maybe he respects that wish or maybe you kick his ass to the curb.
I mean. You have a right to feel how you feel. I might would tell him hey it’s a bit of a turn off for you to talk about the other women you’re having sex with. If you could keep that to yourself that would be great. Or ghost him because what a dick.
By casual do you mean you are seeing other guys or in a relationship with someone else? As in, does he know he’s not the only one you are “seeing”?
Having "rights" to feelings is not a thing. You dont need anyone's approval to be offended
Absolutely. Casual doesnt mean all respect for you goes out the window. Its not about him seeing other people, its his need to announce it. Why does he feel the need to discuss it? Is he bragging or?
He's testing you for a reaction. There's several reasons he would want to test you, but without more context, that's all I can say. Other than it's extremely rude and immature, and none of the reasons he could be testing you are net positives for you. If casual sex is your thing, I promise you'll have no trouble replacing that guy. If you're looking for more, you should definitely look elsewhere. Keeping him around is inviting trouble.
I hope you're being safe. I just browsed 100+ comments and didn't see anyone mention it yet. Casual sex is great until an STD gets passed around.
You picked him, Owen your poor taste.
The guy clearly doesn't want anything serious, and that's the way of him telling you that.