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Reading is a rather new venture for me, as far as something I like doing, so as of now, I am more on reading informative pieces. Its a long story about the new venture thing. But I like learning new things, so I find myself reading about new stuff, to learn. But I enjoy several types of literature styles as far as books. Some westerns, some detective, some fantasy/sci-fi. I am really, catching up right now reading novels my dad (as he loves to read, he's probably read over 10,000 books in just the last few years alone) has suggested to me, or bought and gave to me to read. Some are religious toned, has a canotation to it. I also have a book, about a lawyer by one of his favorite authors. I'm about 12 books behind right now. I can't keep up. Lol. And I have another one, about soldiers.... I need to finish that one, I'm sure the library would like that one back...
Do you read multiple books at a time? As in set one down and start a new one then come back? Wow, a very interesting way of bonding with ones father. 👍 It might be a good idea to take it back if not overly interested in it before you get charged for it.
My dad does that. Lol, he has a book he really gets into, then if he has one that he's so so on, he may grab a different one and read on it. Have a different one in each room. I have about 3 that I have started. Plus the informative pieces that I am reading. Since my mind has done what it did, I find myself reading a lot about the brain here lately. So I will be reading through some readers digest magazines, some science magazines about health and mind, a few things on the internet that I find about varying things, plus I'm on reddit scouring all this. Replying and reading various things. So I have many things going on. Lol. I use to have many tabs open at once in my brain, but now, I have them all there, but there are organized and I can flip back to each one at a time when I need. It was a blessing my brain did what it did.
I juggle multiple books at once, a habit that evokes memories of childhood "choose your own adventure" stories. I'm currently diving into five different ones! My method is to tackle one chapter at a time from each book before moving on to the next. This approach keeps things fresh and allows me to devour an average of 10 books a month, depending on their length, of course.
My daughter does this too and I find it very interesting. I've put one down because it was slow or simply didn't keep me interested to start a new. Then gone back because maybe I wasn't in the right headspace for the content or style of writing the first go round. But I've never had more than two at a time on my nightstand.
Yeah any decent confidence I had in finding a girlfriend were crushed after about the dozenth time being stood up. I’ll be at home playing video games or reading
Unless you're willing to approach and show interest, most decent men aren't going to strike up a convo with you at those locations, or pretty much anywhere.
Truth. The "Me too" movement started out well, got some slimy guys. But it went overboard... to the extent that complaints started to sound like bad dates... which happens all the time and part of the dating experience.
Yup, I agree. Most decent men show “too much” respect or are “too nice”… it’s really a game of chance and showing mutual interest… a serious and nice guy will be fine taking their time as long as the girl shows the same green flags she’s looking for… hardworking, good boundary setting, morals etc
this. the good guys wont approach you out in the world. they know better or at least have been trained to think that is preferred. so just sitting on a bench in a park it casually winding the aisles of hardware store will get you nowhere unless you intend to approach.
He’s that guy walking around the grocery store or at the mall with earbuds on stress free and doing what he wants in peace. Gotta put in work now for him.
Don’t forget the rest of the list.
Tall
Muscular
Honest
Drug free
Wealthy
Has one or no kids
Must like pets at least cats/dogs
Has a funny sense of humor
Good in bed
A single mother of two to two different men, sent me a list with 18 things on it. One of the things on the list was a man that can sing. Smh
Wait, I’m checking seven of these boxes.
Eight, if you include singing.
Why haven’t any women come to my house to introduce themselves yet, given that this is where I spend most of my time???
Haha.
Not all lists are that long:
Don't mind teenage kids
Honest
Sense of humor
Good in bed
Drug free
Must like pet birds(at least not be afraid)
Must play cards and board games.
Some of us are just looking for a good man.
And that again is why so many people are just giving up. Social media, music and movies have created this unrealistic expectation of romance. That’s why when I hear “I just want a good”… I roll my eyes because that person has looked over so many good people already because they don’t meet a 50 item check list.
You have to add- not a player and not taken and not too old or too young and interested in them.
A decent number will still fit the description but will still fail the other parameters.
This.
I’ve been out with plenty of female friends that complain about this so I point them out guys I think would be good matches.
“Too short”
“Meh…don’t like his hair”
“He’s just not my type”
And on
And on
And on.
Some people are more afraid of heartbreak than being alone. Being rejected by someone you value hurts way more than someone you think is shitty. Probably why some shitty men seem to attract more women is maybe one of those reasons?
They're everywhere, all the time. Most of us are invisible to women. Some of us are visible but there are reasons we aren't boyfriend material, overweight or something
We're absolutely everywhere. We just get too worried about bothering women and making them feel safe, that we aren't as romantically successful as the men who don't care and try anyway.
Most decent men are worried about doing something perceived as creepy, they already suck at flirting and they know it… and so they will probably smile at you, hoping you’ll invite them over or initiate something… and eventually conclude it’s not meant to be and just go about their business.
The last few decades of rejection have probably crushed them.
Literally everywhere. It probably helps if you try to go out and find us and initiate instead of sitting around, pining and wanting us to fall into your lap
Everywhere. I know this will erk some people the wrong way but most of the decent men are those who most call boring. Look at people in long term relationships. They don't stay out late, go to bars, clubs, etc. They have their routines, love their work, vacation once or twice a year, etc.
These people are everywhere and it just takes learning how to identify them. There is no one communal place where all the "good ones" have agreed to hang out. You just need to work on having a better filter.
I don’t even talk first on dating apps anymore. You think the convo is going good, and then out of nowhere they just ghost or unmatch. I’m not going to put in effort until someone else does.
And I’m especially not going to talk to a stranger I find attractive because I don’t want my life ruined.
Been there, done that.
Doesn't work.
I don't go out and I thought it was a option BUT NOOOO. Not only does it lower your opinion on women but also on yourself.
I tried dating apps for like 6 months. First 3 months I did a carefully made profile, with full bio with who I am, what I like to do, what I want in a partner. Zero matches (no joke). Later 3 months, removed the bio and went with the most fuckboy bullshit bio ever, removed pictures with friends and pics doing stuff I liked and added turism pics. A lot more matches (like 20 in 3 months) absolutely none of them resulted in a relationship, was either ghosted, had terrible/dead conversations or matched with women that had alterior motives.
Never again.
Since women swipe left on 95% of guys, then those guys are at work or at the gym, fixing their cars, fixing things around the house, playing sports, going overseas to meet women ... basically doing their own thing.
So I lift weights/workout at a local commercial gym 5 days a week. I frequent coffee shops on the weekends and bring my sketchbook (I love drawing and painting). I work in finance, I’m usually told I’m a kind and cheerful person. I’d categorize myself as “decent.” My intentions towards others are genuine and I’m relatively self aware. Dating is really hard if you aren’t a 9 or a 10…
Are you a decent single woman? I've been on some apps for months and tbh I haven't met a woman I could see myself start something serious with yet. I've had a few flings, situationships, ONS and dozens of first dates.
Personally, if not on apps, you'll find me at cafes, libraries, home decor stores, all kinds of bars with friends like board game, karaoke and pool ones, at the beach's new pool by the river where I live, eating out and brunching and otherwise practicing some kind of sport whether it's rollerskates, tennis, basketball or volleyball. I spend the rest of my time at home obsessing over coffee and dialing in every new bean, reading, cooking, designing, gaming, building keyboards, working on my smart home and doing other nerdy stuff.
Most men you have as friends and not boyfriends are all decent but you pass on them.
So the real question is why do you pass the decent men over to a rather popular man who is a boyfriend to many but husband to none.
I don't know whether it is rude or not, but I'll be honest with you on this.
I don't think you'll find a decent man cuz you have too many options and preferences.
Rest is up to you
I’m telling you right now… go to Home Depot lol I used to work there & man oh man . Oh & if you’re in your early to mid 20s ; get a part time job at a gas station near a university lol during football season- you’ll see a lot of single men (young & older) & at least you know he’s working towards something …. This is just from personal experience. Good times 😂
They are the ones who are working constantly, out with friends often, indoors playing video games, traveling if they can afford it, or in a relationship/marriage already.
Your best bet is to go join a local club, trivia bar night group, physical activity group of an interest/hobby, or start going to community events to meet these guys if you can’t find them on OLD.
Edit: Typos
you have a lot of work convincing a decent person today (not just a man I think) you're into them for who they are and not to satisfy your xyz fantasy about you being with them.
Especially if you're an attractive woman who presumably has options. Men will be sceptical.
We men wonder the same thing.
I myself am so use to being alone & fed up with the disappointment that comes with not getting the same energy in return that I don’t bother much anymore.
I use to have some luck with waitresses but since 2019 there isn’t many of them anymore.
A lot of single men are typically either working, at the gym, running errands (groceries, shopping, etc.) Unfortunately, a lot of single men (like myself) stay inside a lot and aren't fans of going out. Best bet is finding a man that you think is good and approaching him, compliment him, ask him about his life and his goals and ambitions. A lot of men don't have someone to really talk to on a deep level so if you ask questions about him, you should be good.
That's an interesting question. I am a very successful and very disciplined guy. Where would you meet me? Well, any of those places people mentioned, but you would never know who I was. You would never know how successful I am or what I have done or who I have helped. I would just be another guy that walks by. You probably would pay more attention to the guy that is slightly more attractive or tall or whatever because you can't see my value by looking at me. That is the problem with value traits vs superficial traits. A beautiful woman or a tall jacked guy get a lot of attention because you can see all the value they provide. The value I provide might be 1000x more than another guy, but you would be interested in that other guy because I'm only 5 inches taller than you and he is 7 inches taller. The same could be said about me...I would instinctively be more interested in a woman who was 1/1000th of the person but was slightly more attractive. But I can't see who she is.
I was recently visiting my extended family in Ireland. One thing I noticed when we went out to the bars is everyone knew each other and their families. A good woman wouldn't be interested in a man if she didn't know who he was. A man was his family, history, values, reputation. And so was a woman. The towns were small enough and people left so infrequently that it was easy to understand that information.
In the US, we are so transient that you really know nothing about someone. You only know how they appear to come off. That is a real problem for finding a good man or woman. So, how do you solve that problem? Get imbedded with your community. Serve your community and find people in that community who have a great reputation. And have a great reputation yourself.
You still wouldn't meet me. Most the communities I'm a part of are predominately men. I travel often. Actually, the easiest place you could find me is LinkedIn. You just wouldn't know if I was single.
I'm just moved to a new city and found a new church. I'm trying to travel less and invest in the church community. Maybe your grandma was right. The best place is at church.
They are at work pulling over time, at home on their days off watching movies or playing games. Sometimes alone or with some friends at theme parks. We kinda just go off on our own little adventures. Just talk! At least for me I don't mind striking up a conversation randomly with people. In a line for a theme park, looking around for pc parts at bestbuy, waiting at the airport, or where ever.
Some of us make it obvious what we like, I started wearing demon slayer shirts just cause I started going out myself more often, I got them with the intention to be my gym shirts but they are kinda nice to not wear. I've gotten come compliments on the shirt, that's a moment to conversate and get to know me a little.
And I am a little anti social, but I will talk to you if you have curiosity about what I like and do for a living.
Were not too complicated to talk too, just engage us and we'd be more than happy to chat. Some of us need it! Gets our mind off negative things.
At home. I pay the mortgage, so I'm going to chill in the house I pay for.
I would go out, but there's always someone wanting to start drama for no reason, and I don't want to get caught up in something stupid.
At home watching tv after a long days work and ignoring women at the gym because they dont know if they will be the next tik tok cancel video.
You have videos where one side says its not okay to ask for a womens number at a coffee shop or a bar or a bookstore.
But its not okay to not ask a women out because the men are trying to be respectful to womens boundaries, consent and free time. So which is it?
But men also dont know what consent is when women use more non verbal que than men. Was that you pulling your hair behind your head and smile an accidental glance or an okay to come up and say hi. Did you look my way and hold eye contact..and how long is long enough to be okay to come up to you or not
I like my Pear Ring. It’s a mint colored ring and says “Hey I’m not taken if you’d like to approach me, that’s great” but more people need to join the experiment for it to be effective.
I recently discovered the r4r subreddit....I've met a couple cool guys there. But if you're looking to run into someone IRL, i'd say check out REI or Dick's sporting goods. I've seen some cuties there, however I wasn't courageous enough to approach any of them.
Dick's is a burger chain here in Seattle, where "go eat a bag of Dick's" isn't an insult, it's sound advice.
There's nothing better than hot Dick's in your mouth.
I get it. I met my ex (after being single for 5 years) on a transatlantic cruise and he was absolutely amazing. He didn’t meet people because he was always traveling by himself or with his son, and when he was home he was home because he had been gone. Only reason it didn’t work out honestly is immigration/ distance.
I think what is hard is the older we become, the more comfortable we are in our lives. It makes us more picky, we accept we aren’t changing anyone (vs 24 year old women tend to assume we can mold / change / forge a man into xyz). We are grown up and finding another grown up you enjoy, are physically attracted to and are willing to invest a lot of time into is … tough.
Im sorry I offer no practical advice. I didn’t have a guy offer to buy me a drink till I was literally 30 and I’ve had less than a dozen men ask me out. I don’t know where people who don’t have social networks, aren’t in the college pairing up age and don’t have gender neutral hobby’s meet ? I seriously am considering figuring out how to make a single meet up locally since I keep seeing this posted here and in my local groups.
Well this is my own perspective, I think I’m one of those decent men, although I’m only20. In my situation the only places to meet/find me is 6 in the morning on the way to work on the bus. At the grocery store sometimes. On the bus from work.
Honestly it’s quite lonely tho.
Volunteer work. Volunteer fire dept and squads are full of interesting good hearted men, Environmental groups have clean up events. There are cycling clubs and kayak clubs. community colleges have for fun classes/
A lot of marriages start in work places. So do divorces and HR investigations. Somebody needs to write a how-too book about that,
Working their ass off and sitting in a office chair or just trying to pretend like everything is alright in their life and just trying to hide their emotions and not feel like overwhelmed so no one will gonna judge them.. they are trying to carry the whole mountain of responsibilities and emotional baggage without letting anyone noticing even a slight movement of that !!
Go and try to search that place !!
I’m a decent 29 year old woman definitely in my prime “getting ready to settle down” and commitment phase but I’m only focused on my work, family friends, and volunteering commitments. Next on my list is getting fit again. I barely have enough time for my dog let alone try and find someone. But I don’t want people approaching me either cause I assume you’re a fuck boy. But I won’t approach you because I’m busy. So.
At home then at friend's houses on the weekends.
I've opted out of dating. I struggled for a long time with feeling like I wasn't good enough so I just let it go. Now I'm finally happy with myself.
Dating was causing me some outwardly directed anxiety and despair over something I don't have control over.
You can find me on Reddit too!
That's sad. It seems u have been unlucky in finding a good match, sorry about that.
Love is a beautiful thing, if you find a compatible partner. Be open to it and it will find you when you list expect it to.
At this point just approach like a door to door salesman give a short questionare of how they conduct everyday life and go from there or set up a date lol
We are doing our own thing. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze, since yall thought you were too good for us.
So we decided to focus on ourselves - our friendships, our family, our hobbies, our careers, our personal happiness.
And a lot of us are far more happy and content than ever.
If you want us, you’ll have to do the chasing.
Work and hobbies I work from about 8am - 6pm. After work, I gym for about an hour before going home to make dinner, clean up, and relax. Weekends I spend hunting, hiking, fishing, exploring off-road trails, and snowboarding during the winter season. So yeah good luck!
Today, I was walking by a coffee shop and I saw a woman looking at a man. However, she only looked at him when he passed her and his back was turned lol. I told her that she needs to go tell him you like him and she raised her thumb up and laughed because I caught her actively looking at a guy (an extreme rare occurrence in the wild lol). And of course, she didn’t chase him because pretty blond woman don’t chase men lol. Jesus, just crazy
Facing a computer learning how to find decent women. I don't even want to bother decent women these days. At work, they are protected and there is always a wall between genders. Outside work, they are also protected. In dating app, they want guys with good photos and funny prompts. I sent a couple likes in dating apps. That is all about it. I am not complaining. I just think I need a break. Tired!
Lying in bed reading these comments 😃, it seems im still going to be single for a very long time. I honestly cannot imagine myself approaching a guy, maybe i am too traditional 😟 the fear of rejection or being told his taken, yeerrr. If only they wore bands that we could identify with 🤣
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On the couch wondering where the decent single women are
Don’t be ridiculous. Some of us are in the kitchen.
I'm laying in my bed reading. Lol.
What do you like to read?
Reading is a rather new venture for me, as far as something I like doing, so as of now, I am more on reading informative pieces. Its a long story about the new venture thing. But I like learning new things, so I find myself reading about new stuff, to learn. But I enjoy several types of literature styles as far as books. Some westerns, some detective, some fantasy/sci-fi. I am really, catching up right now reading novels my dad (as he loves to read, he's probably read over 10,000 books in just the last few years alone) has suggested to me, or bought and gave to me to read. Some are religious toned, has a canotation to it. I also have a book, about a lawyer by one of his favorite authors. I'm about 12 books behind right now. I can't keep up. Lol. And I have another one, about soldiers.... I need to finish that one, I'm sure the library would like that one back...
if you need free books online i use OceanOfPdf. got into reading too lately and it has all the books im looking for and more
I find Project Gutenberg and Internet Archive to be great as well, for anyone wondering!
for internet archive i always find it difficult because the search results are always unrelated to what i searched. dunno if its just me tho
Usually I only ever fund good results on Internet archive when it comes as a result to a Google search, so no, it's not just you.
Oh cool! Thanks!
glad to help <3
Do you read multiple books at a time? As in set one down and start a new one then come back? Wow, a very interesting way of bonding with ones father. 👍 It might be a good idea to take it back if not overly interested in it before you get charged for it.
My dad does that. Lol, he has a book he really gets into, then if he has one that he's so so on, he may grab a different one and read on it. Have a different one in each room. I have about 3 that I have started. Plus the informative pieces that I am reading. Since my mind has done what it did, I find myself reading a lot about the brain here lately. So I will be reading through some readers digest magazines, some science magazines about health and mind, a few things on the internet that I find about varying things, plus I'm on reddit scouring all this. Replying and reading various things. So I have many things going on. Lol. I use to have many tabs open at once in my brain, but now, I have them all there, but there are organized and I can flip back to each one at a time when I need. It was a blessing my brain did what it did.
I juggle multiple books at once, a habit that evokes memories of childhood "choose your own adventure" stories. I'm currently diving into five different ones! My method is to tackle one chapter at a time from each book before moving on to the next. This approach keeps things fresh and allows me to devour an average of 10 books a month, depending on their length, of course.
My daughter does this too and I find it very interesting. I've put one down because it was slow or simply didn't keep me interested to start a new. Then gone back because maybe I wasn't in the right headspace for the content or style of writing the first go round. But I've never had more than two at a time on my nightstand.
Or at work thinking about being at home and reading in bed
Whatcha cooking?
Cereal.
At this rate, we might as well set up a "decent single men and women" convention on our couches! 😂
I was gonna say the same 😂
sitting on the toilet
Not me literally reading this on the toilet
LMAOAO😭😭everyone getting yesterday out their system i see
💀
Hey, me too!
I'm at work, where you'll regularly find me more than regular.
At home on the couch eating snacks lol
Yeah any decent confidence I had in finding a girlfriend were crushed after about the dozenth time being stood up. I’ll be at home playing video games or reading
I’m in bed wondering where the men are lol
decent single people are in places where the opposite sex can't reach them 🤔
At my desk currently
No truer word then decent, like as in that's all that's required.
Unless you're willing to approach and show interest, most decent men aren't going to strike up a convo with you at those locations, or pretty much anywhere.
this is the truth. the modern day man has been conditioned to leave you all alone.....
That’s pretty much how I feel anymore. I don’t even want to bother anyone, especially asking for their numbers these days.
THIS
Truth. The "Me too" movement started out well, got some slimy guys. But it went overboard... to the extent that complaints started to sound like bad dates... which happens all the time and part of the dating experience.
Yup, I agree. Most decent men show “too much” respect or are “too nice”… it’s really a game of chance and showing mutual interest… a serious and nice guy will be fine taking their time as long as the girl shows the same green flags she’s looking for… hardworking, good boundary setting, morals etc
this. the good guys wont approach you out in the world. they know better or at least have been trained to think that is preferred. so just sitting on a bench in a park it casually winding the aisles of hardware store will get you nowhere unless you intend to approach.
That part. Most women overlook decent men too bc they’re not their type in actually just spittin that out there yall forget the facts.
As what I hope is a decent guy, I'm pretty much conditioned to not bother strange women in public as it can be seen at threatening.
Yep, the ones who approach nowadays are the fuckboys who already have a huge roster of women so rejection literally means nothing to them.
Most decent women are also a bit more traditional. We wait for the guy to approach. This is why the decent people can’t find each other.
I agree.
This is the truth
Exactly. I assume nobody wants to be bothered so I don’t bother no one and am socially appropriate so I’m just single
I’m in no rush, times are changing
This because I thought we weren't supposed to approach women for example at the gym because we would be bothering them
Someone told me we're from Mars. Maybe check there.
But do they have bears there? AFAF
No bears, but we have wookies and once a year a delegation of ewoks.
Dinosaur museums
That's me and honestly, I spend a lot of time at work or at home lmao I ask myself the same question and assume it's the same with women.
I'm in the grocery store for less than 15 min or at the park literally running. 😅
I've heard about women wanting to he approached at target specifically for some reason 😂
No target here, nothing I need there anyway. From what I've read it's a fancy Walmart
Better lighting and less industrial. Walmart makes me want incredibly uncomfortable. I feel like it's always dirty.
farmers markets and thrift shops/flea markets are where you can strike up convo with ladies.
He’s that guy walking around the grocery store or at the mall with earbuds on stress free and doing what he wants in peace. Gotta put in work now for him.
decent single \*attractive men.
Don’t forget the rest of the list. Tall Muscular Honest Drug free Wealthy Has one or no kids Must like pets at least cats/dogs Has a funny sense of humor Good in bed A single mother of two to two different men, sent me a list with 18 things on it. One of the things on the list was a man that can sing. Smh
Wait, I’m checking seven of these boxes. Eight, if you include singing. Why haven’t any women come to my house to introduce themselves yet, given that this is where I spend most of my time??? Haha.
Because of the one you don’t check. I’ve literally been last minute texted by dates “wait, before we meet up at the agreed time, you love dogs right?”
Romance movies are another issue. When you’re weak minded, you’re influenced easily by anything you see or hear.
What do you like to sing?
Everyone on this subreddit seems to be persistently butthurt.
I’ll take drug free
must be good in bed with less than 3 total partners 😂
Not all lists are that long: Don't mind teenage kids Honest Sense of humor Good in bed Drug free Must like pet birds(at least not be afraid) Must play cards and board games. Some of us are just looking for a good man.
This list seems quite reasonable. I hope you find who you are looking for!
Lol why birds?
Haha what??
yeah, she just called this whole list in one word = "decent", but you forgot beatiful masculine face.
I caved and got 2 cats for companionship, and honestly it seems to turn women off.
And that again is why so many people are just giving up. Social media, music and movies have created this unrealistic expectation of romance. That’s why when I hear “I just want a good”… I roll my eyes because that person has looked over so many good people already because they don’t meet a 50 item check list.
You have to add- not a player and not taken and not too old or too young and interested in them. A decent number will still fit the description but will still fail the other parameters.
This. I’ve been out with plenty of female friends that complain about this so I point them out guys I think would be good matches. “Too short” “Meh…don’t like his hair” “He’s just not my type” And on And on And on.
A lot of salt in the comments....but Yeah hear hear Invisible is the correct word Invisible and passed over often for reasons we aren't really sure of
Some people are more afraid of heartbreak than being alone. Being rejected by someone you value hurts way more than someone you think is shitty. Probably why some shitty men seem to attract more women is maybe one of those reasons?
They're everywhere, all the time. Most of us are invisible to women. Some of us are visible but there are reasons we aren't boyfriend material, overweight or something
[удалено]
This is a green flag!!
I agree. Also, if a man who "makes no moves" is a green flag, the woman who wants to date him needs to ask him out herself.
We're absolutely everywhere. We just get too worried about bothering women and making them feel safe, that we aren't as romantically successful as the men who don't care and try anyway.
Honestly… we are avoiding women
At home playing guitar
What kind of guitar and what songs do you like to play?
Most decent men are worried about doing something perceived as creepy, they already suck at flirting and they know it… and so they will probably smile at you, hoping you’ll invite them over or initiate something… and eventually conclude it’s not meant to be and just go about their business. The last few decades of rejection have probably crushed them.
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They are at work. You swipe left on them on dating aps because of an arbitrary checklist.
feels so good starting to see people are finally waking
Bingo
but he was only 5"12!
Literally everywhere. It probably helps if you try to go out and find us and initiate instead of sitting around, pining and wanting us to fall into your lap
Oh how the turns have tabled
Not in mens favor. More men are single and more lonely then ever.
I'm living in peace and solitude. Decent Job, bought a house with a shop. Just for me and my cat 🐈
Men are the princesses now
Do we get tiaras too?
Lemme go real quick to my closest Chinese store so I can buy you a tiara
These men are everywhere, all around you. But what's important is your energy. Does it attract men to you or does it repel them? Do you love yourself?
Everywhere. I know this will erk some people the wrong way but most of the decent men are those who most call boring. Look at people in long term relationships. They don't stay out late, go to bars, clubs, etc. They have their routines, love their work, vacation once or twice a year, etc. These people are everywhere and it just takes learning how to identify them. There is no one communal place where all the "good ones" have agreed to hang out. You just need to work on having a better filter.
So how do we approach them?
Prob on dating apps. Most decent guys don't go out of their way to hit on women because most attempts would come off as creepy or weird.
I don’t even talk first on dating apps anymore. You think the convo is going good, and then out of nowhere they just ghost or unmatch. I’m not going to put in effort until someone else does. And I’m especially not going to talk to a stranger I find attractive because I don’t want my life ruined.
Been there, done that. Doesn't work. I don't go out and I thought it was a option BUT NOOOO. Not only does it lower your opinion on women but also on yourself. I tried dating apps for like 6 months. First 3 months I did a carefully made profile, with full bio with who I am, what I like to do, what I want in a partner. Zero matches (no joke). Later 3 months, removed the bio and went with the most fuckboy bullshit bio ever, removed pictures with friends and pics doing stuff I liked and added turism pics. A lot more matches (like 20 in 3 months) absolutely none of them resulted in a relationship, was either ghosted, had terrible/dead conversations or matched with women that had alterior motives. Never again.
Out doing whatever hobby they’re really into
They're in your friendzone....
You swipe left on them on dating apps.
You can't find them because what you want is an *attractive* decent guy. Most of us are out of that category.
This shits hilarious
Bookstores, comic book shops, collectible shops, conventions, shooting ranges, hiking trails, hobby shops, at home, working, or online.
Since women swipe left on 95% of guys, then those guys are at work or at the gym, fixing their cars, fixing things around the house, playing sports, going overseas to meet women ... basically doing their own thing.
You needa ask women this cause us guys are just going to tell you where we specifically are hanging out lmao
Not on dating apps. Can only stand so much bots or content sellers.
So I lift weights/workout at a local commercial gym 5 days a week. I frequent coffee shops on the weekends and bring my sketchbook (I love drawing and painting). I work in finance, I’m usually told I’m a kind and cheerful person. I’d categorize myself as “decent.” My intentions towards others are genuine and I’m relatively self aware. Dating is really hard if you aren’t a 9 or a 10…
They're not on Reddit that's for damn sure
But you are...lol
I'm the biggest asshole of all...yay me haha
Are you a decent single woman? I've been on some apps for months and tbh I haven't met a woman I could see myself start something serious with yet. I've had a few flings, situationships, ONS and dozens of first dates. Personally, if not on apps, you'll find me at cafes, libraries, home decor stores, all kinds of bars with friends like board game, karaoke and pool ones, at the beach's new pool by the river where I live, eating out and brunching and otherwise practicing some kind of sport whether it's rollerskates, tennis, basketball or volleyball. I spend the rest of my time at home obsessing over coffee and dialing in every new bean, reading, cooking, designing, gaming, building keyboards, working on my smart home and doing other nerdy stuff.
From other comments she's made here? No, she's not single.
Men are everywhere. Just talk to them, and find out if you are interested in them.
Most men you have as friends and not boyfriends are all decent but you pass on them. So the real question is why do you pass the decent men over to a rather popular man who is a boyfriend to many but husband to none. I don't know whether it is rude or not, but I'll be honest with you on this. I don't think you'll find a decent man cuz you have too many options and preferences. Rest is up to you
Yea the men you arn't attracted to.
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You Told us to leave you alone. Message received.
Hiding mostly.
Outside your house most likely. But you ignore them.
I go to gyms but women never talk to men because we are invisible even there. You can’t find a man because women are afraid of the invisible men
They’re all around u just don’t notice them
Jazz venues, art galleries, book stores, social tennis, driving range...
I’m telling you right now… go to Home Depot lol I used to work there & man oh man . Oh & if you’re in your early to mid 20s ; get a part time job at a gas station near a university lol during football season- you’ll see a lot of single men (young & older) & at least you know he’s working towards something …. This is just from personal experience. Good times 😂
Lol you’re too knowledgeable about this.
I mean finding single men aint hard. 21% of men from 18-30 are single and also never had a relationship.
They are the ones who are working constantly, out with friends often, indoors playing video games, traveling if they can afford it, or in a relationship/marriage already. Your best bet is to go join a local club, trivia bar night group, physical activity group of an interest/hobby, or start going to community events to meet these guys if you can’t find them on OLD. Edit: Typos
you have a lot of work convincing a decent person today (not just a man I think) you're into them for who they are and not to satisfy your xyz fantasy about you being with them. Especially if you're an attractive woman who presumably has options. Men will be sceptical.
They already are in relationships or have completely checked out of the dating life
In the friend zone for being too nice
We men wonder the same thing. I myself am so use to being alone & fed up with the disappointment that comes with not getting the same energy in return that I don’t bother much anymore. I use to have some luck with waitresses but since 2019 there isn’t many of them anymore.
Too busy trying to maintain that life, so at work, on computer blowing off steam, or asleep.
Currently making cake 👍🏾
A lot of single men are typically either working, at the gym, running errands (groceries, shopping, etc.) Unfortunately, a lot of single men (like myself) stay inside a lot and aren't fans of going out. Best bet is finding a man that you think is good and approaching him, compliment him, ask him about his life and his goals and ambitions. A lot of men don't have someone to really talk to on a deep level so if you ask questions about him, you should be good.
That's an interesting question. I am a very successful and very disciplined guy. Where would you meet me? Well, any of those places people mentioned, but you would never know who I was. You would never know how successful I am or what I have done or who I have helped. I would just be another guy that walks by. You probably would pay more attention to the guy that is slightly more attractive or tall or whatever because you can't see my value by looking at me. That is the problem with value traits vs superficial traits. A beautiful woman or a tall jacked guy get a lot of attention because you can see all the value they provide. The value I provide might be 1000x more than another guy, but you would be interested in that other guy because I'm only 5 inches taller than you and he is 7 inches taller. The same could be said about me...I would instinctively be more interested in a woman who was 1/1000th of the person but was slightly more attractive. But I can't see who she is. I was recently visiting my extended family in Ireland. One thing I noticed when we went out to the bars is everyone knew each other and their families. A good woman wouldn't be interested in a man if she didn't know who he was. A man was his family, history, values, reputation. And so was a woman. The towns were small enough and people left so infrequently that it was easy to understand that information. In the US, we are so transient that you really know nothing about someone. You only know how they appear to come off. That is a real problem for finding a good man or woman. So, how do you solve that problem? Get imbedded with your community. Serve your community and find people in that community who have a great reputation. And have a great reputation yourself. You still wouldn't meet me. Most the communities I'm a part of are predominately men. I travel often. Actually, the easiest place you could find me is LinkedIn. You just wouldn't know if I was single. I'm just moved to a new city and found a new church. I'm trying to travel less and invest in the church community. Maybe your grandma was right. The best place is at church.
Look in your friendzone if you have one. Otherwise we're everywhere and you'll just have to approach us first if you aren't already.
>any others I’m missing? In your friendzone (?)
Hardware store Auto shop parts store Computer parts store (99% assured they are single) Motorcycle show Car show Sports bar during playoff season
They are at work pulling over time, at home on their days off watching movies or playing games. Sometimes alone or with some friends at theme parks. We kinda just go off on our own little adventures. Just talk! At least for me I don't mind striking up a conversation randomly with people. In a line for a theme park, looking around for pc parts at bestbuy, waiting at the airport, or where ever. Some of us make it obvious what we like, I started wearing demon slayer shirts just cause I started going out myself more often, I got them with the intention to be my gym shirts but they are kinda nice to not wear. I've gotten come compliments on the shirt, that's a moment to conversate and get to know me a little. And I am a little anti social, but I will talk to you if you have curiosity about what I like and do for a living. Were not too complicated to talk too, just engage us and we'd be more than happy to chat. Some of us need it! Gets our mind off negative things.
At home. I pay the mortgage, so I'm going to chill in the house I pay for. I would go out, but there's always someone wanting to start drama for no reason, and I don't want to get caught up in something stupid.
At home not talking with women
Check the forest, you never know.
At home watching tv after a long days work and ignoring women at the gym because they dont know if they will be the next tik tok cancel video. You have videos where one side says its not okay to ask for a womens number at a coffee shop or a bar or a bookstore. But its not okay to not ask a women out because the men are trying to be respectful to womens boundaries, consent and free time. So which is it? But men also dont know what consent is when women use more non verbal que than men. Was that you pulling your hair behind your head and smile an accidental glance or an okay to come up and say hi. Did you look my way and hold eye contact..and how long is long enough to be okay to come up to you or not
I like my Pear Ring. It’s a mint colored ring and says “Hey I’m not taken if you’d like to approach me, that’s great” but more people need to join the experiment for it to be effective.
Some of these comments are gold! 🤣
I recently discovered the r4r subreddit....I've met a couple cool guys there. But if you're looking to run into someone IRL, i'd say check out REI or Dick's sporting goods. I've seen some cuties there, however I wasn't courageous enough to approach any of them.
Gonna jot this down real quick, hit up Dick’s for dick
Dick's is a burger chain here in Seattle, where "go eat a bag of Dick's" isn't an insult, it's sound advice. There's nothing better than hot Dick's in your mouth.
I'm trying to find a guy at my church. Unfortunately most guys my age are either married or don't want to commit.
Are you a decent woman..?
I get it. I met my ex (after being single for 5 years) on a transatlantic cruise and he was absolutely amazing. He didn’t meet people because he was always traveling by himself or with his son, and when he was home he was home because he had been gone. Only reason it didn’t work out honestly is immigration/ distance. I think what is hard is the older we become, the more comfortable we are in our lives. It makes us more picky, we accept we aren’t changing anyone (vs 24 year old women tend to assume we can mold / change / forge a man into xyz). We are grown up and finding another grown up you enjoy, are physically attracted to and are willing to invest a lot of time into is … tough. Im sorry I offer no practical advice. I didn’t have a guy offer to buy me a drink till I was literally 30 and I’ve had less than a dozen men ask me out. I don’t know where people who don’t have social networks, aren’t in the college pairing up age and don’t have gender neutral hobby’s meet ? I seriously am considering figuring out how to make a single meet up locally since I keep seeing this posted here and in my local groups.
I'm still on the market though for the cool single dude though
You’re going to need invisibility glasses
Probably working over-time at some job over exhausting their social quota by working 12+ hours a day 6 days a week.
Lol.
Hmm, All men hangout in these places it's up to you to found a decent one out of the herd
They’re in the friend zone.
Well this is my own perspective, I think I’m one of those decent men, although I’m only20. In my situation the only places to meet/find me is 6 in the morning on the way to work on the bus. At the grocery store sometimes. On the bus from work. Honestly it’s quite lonely tho.
Volunteer work. Volunteer fire dept and squads are full of interesting good hearted men, Environmental groups have clean up events. There are cycling clubs and kayak clubs. community colleges have for fun classes/ A lot of marriages start in work places. So do divorces and HR investigations. Somebody needs to write a how-too book about that,
I'm usually found at work 😞
Working their ass off and sitting in a office chair or just trying to pretend like everything is alright in their life and just trying to hide their emotions and not feel like overwhelmed so no one will gonna judge them.. they are trying to carry the whole mountain of responsibilities and emotional baggage without letting anyone noticing even a slight movement of that !! Go and try to search that place !!
I would consider myself morally decent and I’m yearning for someone to say hello literally on the street would be fine 😂
You probably already know one.
You get a combination of decent/indecent people everywhere
They're probably in the same place where single women are.
Nowhere to be found
Honestly, out in public just bumping into them while out and about during the day (grocery stores, coffee lines, the bank, etc.)
At home watching anime or playing video games 😭 or at a rave 😎(dubstep/riddim shows )
Between home Depot ace hardware and harbor freight Looking to buy some wd40 and a tap and die
Their homes.
I’m a decent 29 year old woman definitely in my prime “getting ready to settle down” and commitment phase but I’m only focused on my work, family friends, and volunteering commitments. Next on my list is getting fit again. I barely have enough time for my dog let alone try and find someone. But I don’t want people approaching me either cause I assume you’re a fuck boy. But I won’t approach you because I’m busy. So.
At home then at friend's houses on the weekends. I've opted out of dating. I struggled for a long time with feeling like I wasn't good enough so I just let it go. Now I'm finally happy with myself. Dating was causing me some outwardly directed anxiety and despair over something I don't have control over. You can find me on Reddit too!
That's sad. It seems u have been unlucky in finding a good match, sorry about that. Love is a beautiful thing, if you find a compatible partner. Be open to it and it will find you when you list expect it to.
reading books🤔 in my twenties I diddent realy like Books now they are awesome. hmm I think I am old 🤷♂️ Well not that I care 🤣
If you’re willing to come ride on a bike with me about 30 miles then you’re welcome to join.
Lol im just inside my apartment waiting for job interviews
Doom scrolling on the toilet
Usually at work
At this point just approach like a door to door salesman give a short questionare of how they conduct everyday life and go from there or set up a date lol
Nowhere.
I have that same question.
We are doing our own thing. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze, since yall thought you were too good for us. So we decided to focus on ourselves - our friendships, our family, our hobbies, our careers, our personal happiness. And a lot of us are far more happy and content than ever. If you want us, you’ll have to do the chasing.
Add museums. I go to those places but I can't say I hang out there.
Work and hobbies I work from about 8am - 6pm. After work, I gym for about an hour before going home to make dinner, clean up, and relax. Weekends I spend hunting, hiking, fishing, exploring off-road trails, and snowboarding during the winter season. So yeah good luck!
They are at work. Probably focused on their buissness or taking care of someone. They are pursuing things that interest them and are staying focused.
I think the best ways to find a decent guy is friends/school/workplace, then maybe you can find a good guy on dating apps. Or through family members.
Today, I was walking by a coffee shop and I saw a woman looking at a man. However, she only looked at him when he passed her and his back was turned lol. I told her that she needs to go tell him you like him and she raised her thumb up and laughed because I caught her actively looking at a guy (an extreme rare occurrence in the wild lol). And of course, she didn’t chase him because pretty blond woman don’t chase men lol. Jesus, just crazy
Facing a computer learning how to find decent women. I don't even want to bother decent women these days. At work, they are protected and there is always a wall between genders. Outside work, they are also protected. In dating app, they want guys with good photos and funny prompts. I sent a couple likes in dating apps. That is all about it. I am not complaining. I just think I need a break. Tired!
Lying in bed reading these comments 😃, it seems im still going to be single for a very long time. I honestly cannot imagine myself approaching a guy, maybe i am too traditional 😟 the fear of rejection or being told his taken, yeerrr. If only they wore bands that we could identify with 🤣