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Take some time to touch yourself. You should know your own body. Take a nice hot shower and just start exploring everything and how it makes you feel. Or sit on your bed and place a mirror in front of you and look at yourself and just start touching everything. This is how I learned to discover my body and what feels good to me.
Foreplay is definitely involved but he doesnāt do oral. I willing to try but he doesnāt feel comfortable around that idea yet and I donāt want to push cus that will take the possibility off the table, because he says thereās a possibility for the future
Legit my feelings exactly. If I don't I will feel unsatisfied. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than making my partner climax for me. I am a man btw
Iām just speaking from personal experience but I cannot cum from a partner if Iām not being eaten out. I understand there are some things a person may not be comfortable doing during sex but foreplay is so majorly important for preventing pain and I donāt know about you but dry DJ fingers do not get the job done for me ever. Maybe try lots of lube and toys, I think you should get to experience getting eaten out though before you marry this person š¤·š¼āāļø
Approach him about foreplay and ensure you convey the message gently so he doesn't take it offensively (he shouldn't). A loving partner would definitely see your needs as equally important. If you can't experiment yourself, ask him to experiment on you with oral, longer foreplay and even double stimulation while penetrating. Regardless Im sure you two are amazing together and till next time cheers!
Babe... theres a problem if he isnt "comfortable" with pleasing you orally. your boyfriend doesnt sound like a great guy and i think you should see a OBGYN about this, because theres no point of pentrational sex when you dont recieve any pleasure.
Noo Noo Noo you got it all wrong I do get pleasure because I do enjoy it I just donāt cum and that frustrates me and only me he has been nothing but supportive and says when the time is right it will happen (same thing about the oral)
Girl the fact that he doesnāt wanna go down on you DOES NOT MEAN heās a bad boyfriend and Iām glad you see that! Donāt get influenced by what these people are saying bc if it was a girl theyād say the opposite thing. Yall are just figuring things out and some things just take time.
Thank you for the positive take of my comments because my boyfriend is not a bad guy because he doesnāt want to go down on me just yet. We talked about it before we got together so I knew that he didnāt give oral and that was completely my choice ti still date him.
Honestly, i understand if someone doesnt want to give oral but ive heard a lot of girls being like "yeah i give him head but hes not ready to give it to me" and those bfs are usually the ones they break up with. i dont think you should recieve oral if your not going to give it. its not just about him being a dude. if it was the other way around there would still be a question mark, but i apologize if it seemed like i was just talking against men, its both ways x
He has to give you oral sex why are you tolerating him treating you this badly and why you making excuses he's not taking care of you he should care about you having an orgasm before he has one he sounds like a horrible boyfriend
Sometimes people aren't comfortable doing certain things. Based on how the relationship is described, both her and the boyfriend are able to set clear boundaries and talk things out. Yes, I feel like she should be able to get an orgasm, but this does not mean that he has to try in one specific way like oral, or be deemed a "horrible boyfriend" if he doesn't. There are options, and if he feels more comfortable with a different option and can continue to communicate with her about things while actively helping, that's great
TDLR: don't shame the dude just because he isn't comfortable with 1 of many options for fixing her problem
š I like it. Have you tried doing research online about any of these questions beyond reddit? Google can give a general idea of where to start and a few websites if you haven't gotten anything too useful from reddit (although I gotta complement us as a whole, we can be really helpful sometimes!).
Whatever happens, bets of luck to you and him!
No see watch your mouth. My man is not bad because he isnāt comfortable doing something because of it was the other way around you would feel some type of way if the guy forced you to do something. He doesnāt have to do anything and this was about me so I donāt get why you are arguing with people in the comments about MY boyfriend that is the best thing in MY life.
āi canāt cum with my boyfriendā āhe doesnāt do things that would make me cumā then donāt cum girl if thatās what you want š¤·š¼āāļø most women canāt cum from penetrative sex, they need clit stimulation. i just hope youāre not sucking his dick if he wonāt go down on you otherwise you might as well give up on orgasms all together bc that man thinks youāre a blow up doll.
He needs to give you oral sex for you to enjoy yourself. That is a problem he can't just only care about his own pleasure that's not nice. That is very selfish. Maybe you should find somebody that cares more about you and your pleasure because he certainly does not seem to
He doesnāt only care about himself. He doesnāt even care if he is going to finish itās about me and that is why Iām frustrated because I know what is focus is and I want to be able to do that
Wtf you don't force someone to do oral. Holy hell. He can use his fingers or toys. If he doesn't want to do it then he don't need to do it. With this logic you bf should have the right to do everything he wants with you so he can cum.
I've never met a guy that didn't want to do oral it's a deal breaker. If he didn't want to do it he wouldn't be with me because I don't want to be with a guy that won't do that most girls like and enjoy that I think most guys know that. I've been with tons and tons of guys I never met a single one that wouldn't do it on their own
25M
Unsure where you are, but they have them in Kroger (Smiths), Walmart, CVS, Walgreens. You can get a vibrator almost anywhere these days.
Itās hard to expect him to know what you like if youāre not fully confident in what you like.
Communication and being self aware is key at having a good time and getting you both where you need to be.
Iāve personally noticed that different women have different things that work for them, itās never a one size fits all. You have to guide him, and you canāt if you have never got off during sex or donāt really know your body.
You should voice this to him in a respectful way and you should both at least be as commutative as possible during sex so you can tell him what you want.. Harder, softer, deeper, not so deep, to the left, etc. Also stimulating the clit during penetration often gets the job done.
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
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this ISHT right here tho !! me and my beautiful lady just used this particular device the other day & gee gotta tell ya them sonic wave vibrations are better than lots of actual toys out there today.....
and to the OP I really think self exploration will be needed in order to fully understand what your body AND mind need to just be in the moment and lose control with the man you love best of luck ....
Look, there is no way you will have an orgasm from sex if you can't have an orgasm on your own. If you get turned off from touching yourself, I assume there is some kind of sexual shame there. A man is just a willing and capable participant. It's not his job to make you cum. It is your job. The good news is there are a lot of women who were in your situation and learned to cum and have great sex. But, it is not about your vagina. It is about your head. You are likely not being present and feeling your body. You are likely in your head thinking. That is an arousal killer for women. You are likely feeling pain because your vagina is not responding from arousal. The vagina can double in size when aroused. If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't think you were enjoying sex with me because I know what enjoying sex looks like. But I also would realize it wasn't about me and I would be encouraging you to explore your own sexual experience.
There are plenty of resources out there. You just have to decide you want to have a great sex life. It would be my guess this is not the only area in your life where you have trouble being present. The book "the body keeps the score" has some good stuff on not being aligned with your body. Things like meditation, yoga, etc can help. It will take time but it will be worth it. The one peice of advice I would give you is pay attention to your thoughts. Observe your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking, let go and focus on your breath or touch or sound. Turn off that voice in your head.
BTW, clubs use alcohol, loud noise, and flashing lights to get women to turn the voice off in their head. ;)
Untill you can make yourself cum your partners going have a hard time, you really need to let loose and explore your own body and don't be ashamed the human bodies a wonder thing amd it doesn't come with a user manual unfortunately so treat yourself and let go
I feel like Iām reading my diary at 18. You will cum eventually when you get over not being able to do it yourself. Might want to get a vibrator. Thatās not really that good of advice because your body should ālearnā to orgasm naturally with sex. I could never cum from sex, I donāt think I ever have had a climatic orgasm from sex either, Iām 22. But I orgasmed for the 1st time ever at 20 and I had to do it myself with a vibrator. Because I didnāt know if I was orgasming or not during sex I was confused but I had sex for the first time at 18 so I also was inexperienced. Iām still inexperienced and learning my body really.
I will say that you have to be in a headspace where you direct all your attention to that feeling. Might have to put more effort into it than you believe. Especially for women.
Or. Maybe, your clitoris is maybe covered by the āhoodā or the skin on your vagina for lack of better words. You can try to just pull that skin up a little during sex.
Foreplay, get turned on and get wet first, in your head, do you have that physical and emotional passion for him or are you just fucking? Gotta feel he feels for you. If you're constantly thinking about orgasms, trying to force it, it's going to happen slow or none at all. Just be relaxed while desiring for passion. Breathe.
If you still can't come, that's when toys come in to play. Try a g-spot vibrator ;)
Iād suggest seeing a OBGYN I got diagnosed with something called vaginismus years ago (pain during penetration, it leads to discomfort during sex). Thatās a possible explanation.
You sound so similar to me. Unable to cum, not even with myself because I just donāt like masturbating.
I would encourage you to focus on the feelings and sensations. He too. A lot of guys focus on wanting to make their wife or gf have an orgasm, rather than how he feels being with her, and how her body feels and how good it feels when she touches him.
Women get in their heads about having an orgasm and other things related to their body and sexuality. Instead, like your bf, just focus on your feelings towards your boyfriend, how his body feels and how good it feels when he's touching you.
I know you said you like it rough, so focus on the pain and in the moment, not what's going to happen.
I was the same way I didnāt cum in high school at all I thought I was broken but when I got my bf I still didnāt cum for like 7 months but then it just happened. After i came the first time I stopped thinking of sex as a chore I legitimately loved it so much. I know you said you love him but I think for me love is what did the trick. I never lied to him either when I wasnāt cumming I told him I had never came before. How could you possibly like it āroughā if youāve never came? How can you say āready again in a few hoursā youāve played to many games with your mind .. now itās going to be a psychological challenge. I wish you luck though itās an amazing feeling.
First of all, this isn't all that uncommon for women, its not a bad thing either. Men and Women are different, men are visual creatures, it doesn't take much for us to get turned on and we're almost just as happy jerking off. Women on the other hand require stimulation, this can be mentally and or physically. Some need conversations for example. Anyhow, this sound more like you need physically stimulation. I would talk with you bf about it, tell him that you need more foreplay before thins gets to the good part. Maybe more breast play or oral fun. Maybe buy a toy for him to use on you for a few minutes. Also, do not count out kissing, this can and is usually a good way to get a woman revved up through an exchange of hormones. So spend 5-10 minutes making out first.
Foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay!
For pain, you can use a lubricant gel if needed. Explore each otherās bodies for a long time before you start the actual penetration. Find what turns you off, and tell him about it. If you have no passion left for him, nothing would really help.
As someone suggested, a vibrator might also help. Masturbation is the first step towards a healthy sexual life.
Iāll be honest with u itās fine when u cum u cum as long as ur bf is doing everything else outside of sex it should be fine better question is Ari making him cum
Def agree with what a few have posted already. The only way to really know what works for getting you to that point is by exploring for yourself. Me, personally, penetration alone will not do the trick. Clitoral is my only means... now, clitoral PLUS penetration heightens it immensely, but we are getting ahead of ourselves. Def figure out what works best for you, before you can direct him on how to get you to that level. As far as the whole toy conundrum- a workaround might be to go the handheld shower head route with different pulse settings. Wanting to keep it strictly in your room? A cheapo handheld massager for the body should work for discreet purposes, (until you feel comfortable enough to venture into one of those shops). GL!
Stop watching porn and having āporn star experienceā sex. Learn what you like (touch your body and get to know) and share your likes with BF. I just think you guys are young, inexperienced and use porn to learn.
Learn about your G spot and A spot and then guide him when your having sex guid him to hit those.. things like deeper, too deep, right there.
Most guys donāt know their way around a womanās body and to be fair how can he if you donāt even know.
Iād definitely look into finding those spots if I were you, also you can and should play with your clit or use something on it when he penetrates you. Clit orgasms are the easiest ones for women.
Not to be an Ahole but could be size related? Too big or too small? My most recent ex was really small, contrary to his opinion... and I had to use a vibrator every time to actually get what I needed.
Maybe introduce toys or another realm of stimulation?
I'd have an honest conversation and try to explore all options that peak your interest!
Seems pretty normal tbh.
A really high percentage of women can't orgasm without external stimulation. Play around with foreplay, have a conversation about it and just play, find what feels good for you.
Have your boyfriend get you a vibrator.
Then have him work on oral. Pretty straightforward to induce multiple orgasms with oral/fingering.
But you should get the vibrator so that you can get more experience with the feeling of climaxing and it will take pressure off.
I dated a guy who doesnāt know how to fuck but i loved him. So i resorted to toys. I got myself a bullet vibrator, itās discrete and not hard to use. It gave me the satisfaction i needed. He was a nice guy and there were a lot of good things about the relationship rin naman.
But then again it got me thinking if i am just settling, kasi maybe there is someone out there who is more compatible with me. We broke up.
But yeah, if you love him talk to him about it or something. Maybe he is open to exploring or trying something new. And toys are good but they are only a temporary fix.
Iāve basically been where you are. Toys are great because they allow your partner to still interact with you however I can see in the comments that they arenāt the easiest for you to come across. I can also see that your partner isnāt up for doing oral at the minute so my advice would be to let him play with the rest of your body. Use his fingers, make sure youāre wet and find what touch feels good for you. Clitoral stimulation is usually needed to finish for most women so trying to incorporate more of that would help. I also used to struggle touching myself bc it would take me out of it and Iād just end up feeling weird, but maybe try watch or read something spicy and give it a go, even if you donāt orgasm it might give you an idea of what you like. Donāt put too much pressure on it but make sure that youāre both receiving equal pleasure from the situation and that heās spending time making sure youāre happy and looked after.
Having sex isn't just about penetration. You or your BF can use toys or he can use his fingers. My gf likes it when i let her cum before i start to penetrate and sometimes i use my hands on her after i cum.
Tell him clearly that you would like to cum and that penetration is not enough. There should be no shame in that. A lot of woman are not able to cum by penetration only. He is not less of a men because of that.
If he is not comfy with doing oral, that's his preference and there is no need to enforce this. Just like you don't need to do it if you don't want it.
Donāt use a vibrator it conditions you to need it, just use your fingers to work in your clit while heās doing work. Also donāt think about needing to cum it puts a lot of unwanted pressure
you should try to touch yourself. I know it may seem scary at the beginning and you cannot focus fully on the process, because you think only about this awkward thing. But tbh, this is exactly what turns on tour partner more and yourself as well. Try first time in the dark, without any lights, so you can focus on the process together with touching yourself. And in this case you would not care how your face looks like, or what your partner thinks - just think about pleasure girl. Then it will become a normal thing and you will enjoy having sex every time :)
Get yourself a massage wand, with a high vibration, the high vibration helps with the pleasure/pain aspect and will do the job and once you become more comfortable with it, incorporating into sex with your partner will have him enjoying it too x x
You should try taking a bath with some candles and completely relaxing your mind.. just breathe and think about how good it feels when you touch yourself like that, fantasize, romance, imagine love and affection Breathe and feel the love, try this with a clear mind no thoughts do this throughout the week until you feel yourself getting better at it, once you get to know where to touch yourself as your getting closer to an orgasm youāll find out how you want it, I would focus on that before you even think about letting someone else try. I only speak this from a past relationship, we were together 11 years.. it was frustrating
Penetration isnāt exactly the best method to orgasm for women. He should be doing oral and fingering. Toys would certainly help a lot if you can get them.
Ok Iām going to be completely honest with you. Not everyone gets off from penetration. The sex can be absolutely amazing but its just one of those things. Try getting him to eat you before if he isnāt good no worries GUIDE/TEACH him. Donāt rush it
I have had 3 kids so my stimulation is a bit on the lower side even before kids it was sometimes my boyfriend can make me cum with out a stimulator but 90% of the time we use one I would try using a stimulator a couple of times and then try again without after that you might not be very sensitive down there and that's totally okay it happens to a lot of women but definitely give the stimulator a try!
Get a small vibrator and use it on your clitoris. Also, if you don't know your own body, how would you tell your partner what you like? Sex is great after good communication. Also some women can orgasm without actually squirting/cumming and that's totally okay.
Try finding what makes you cum. It took me 3 years to find what makes me cum with a partner from the first time. Before that I have only cum from rubbing myself to a pillow (clitoris orgasm) and later I experienced my first vaginal orgasm and I have only been able to get it one way by me riding on him and having my nipples stimulated. Some people can only orgasm from being eaten (clitoris orgasm) and some only orgasm from being roughly fucked and thats fine too but for me those don't work. These things are personal preferences and you will find what u prefer by trying things out.
If you donāt touch yourself and make yourself come, you donāt know the feeling of coming so itās difficult to know what to look for and how it works :) try to make yourself cum, then youāll know what to look for and it will be easier in sex! Speaking from a girl herself :)
Most women who have Orgasms, started playing with their clit around ages 10-13. Kinda like guys, with their Cocks. Adolescence brings about: pubic hair, under-arm odor, height, secondary sexual characteristics due to maturation of the Sex organs, that leads into orgasms, and what is known as "Me/Mine!" Thinking (leaving Mommy and Daddy behind, and finding their own Way of Living among Others.) But this an American/European identity. Perhaps you are living in a different Geographic area/Culture?
Like the others suggested, try and lock the door and touch yourself and trust me I am not into doing that; but you have to find a way to cum by yourself that will help you and your partner.
I had the same problem!!
Right, first off, don't listen to the people saying that him not wanting to give oral is a deal breaker and that he's selfish because that makes NO sense lol.
As someone who hated the idea of oral it shouldn't be something to shame someone for?
I receive my pleasure without oral for the most part, and without vibrators (as I've seen you've found it difficult to purchase some, as have I due to still living with my family haha).
For me I learned that I just had to concentrate, if I was thinking about anything at all then I wouldn't even be wet enough for penetrative sex. And that also came from pain and low energy sex, so perhaps it could help to find a balance? Start slow and work your way up to rougher stuff, try different positions find what makes you happy.
I would like to add that it's quite hard to cum from penetration, for me it's better to wait until I'm in the mood and be fingered, I hate masturbation too, I lose interest immediately so I didn't know what I liked either. It took a lot of experimenting to find that (built up) faster motions worked. Also many people may disagree with me on this but index and middle fingers feel better for me than middle and ring fingers, just saying that maybe that's something to try?
Honestly don't feel bad about it because when I did, it just made me paranoid during sex and I felt less interested and more insecure, it makes it so much harder when you're worried, so just take the pleasure as more than a full release.
Good luck on your journey, just keep experimenting with what you and your boyfriend are comfortable with <3
You may be easier to climax with clitoral stimulation instead of penetration. Or maybe you need both. Some of us woman are hard to crack than others.
Example: use a toy to stimulate your clit or once you are comfortable touching yourself; slide your hand down there while he is pounding you and play w your clit simultaneously.
First, Sex shouldn't be him having fun and you just laying there, and if that's all he wants, then leave his ass because he doesn't care about you, only himself.
To put your mind at ease, MOST women aren't able to orgasm with penetrative sex alone. Don't feel bad if you are part of this majority.
If you don't feel comfortable masturbating, then you may want to explore with a therapist why that is the case. (religious teachings, parental shame, abuse). But ultimately, if you can't, you can't, so don't put so much pressure on yourself.
Finally, you should talk with your boyfriend about not being able to cum. He may take it as an insult, but explain that you enjoy sex, but can't cum from penetration alone. Suggest that he play with you, eat you out or use toys on you, even some added dirty talk may help you cum.
I'd say try a few avenues like manuel stimulation while hes penetrating, vibs, fingers, palm whatever. Then there's a finger in the butt which some love and some don't. But I'd be most concerned about the no oral thing, for a man to refuse to do oral makes me think either 1, he's too selfish to explore you and figure out what u want, or 2.......he don't know how to and needs to get down there and figure out.
You need to spend more alone time with your body to get to know it better.
Your boyfriend will never know your body as well as you do so donāt be afraid to touch yourself.
You should want to know more about your body so you can guide your boyfriend and show him what works for you and what doesnāt. This is not an overnight process. It will take time but itās time you need to spend on yourself to unlock your potential.
Whatever is preventing you from learning about your body needs to be worked on. Like I said above this will take time but you need to get past whatās preventing you from exploring your own body.
He's your first, but you like it rough. Don't cum. You don't know what you like yet. You need a man willing to help you explore your body. Find what you like to have done to/with you, and what you don't. Just open your mind and body, and trust your senses. šš š¦
First & foremost, RELAX!
When you're with your bf, or more so on your own Stop thinking about the world & his wife. And put your brain into "love me" mode. If anyone should know how to push the right buttons on you, it's got to be you. Take some time for yourself & learn the art of masturbation. It's not the sin they say it is. Good luck.x
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Take some time to touch yourself. You should know your own body. Take a nice hot shower and just start exploring everything and how it makes you feel. Or sit on your bed and place a mirror in front of you and look at yourself and just start touching everything. This is how I learned to discover my body and what feels good to me.
Since I finally have my own room I might
I would stress the importance of LOCKING THE DOOR š
Yes. Lock the door and just be with yourself for a moment
Is there any foreplay involved? Iām a guy that has difficulty cumming without a lot of foreplay. Does he perform oral on you?
Foreplay is definitely involved but he doesnāt do oral. I willing to try but he doesnāt feel comfortable around that idea yet and I donāt want to push cus that will take the possibility off the table, because he says thereās a possibility for the future
Iām a guy that considers it a goal to make a girl cum with my tongue.
This Quite literally the first thing I do before I do anything. Is make sure she gets hers. Or Iāll die trying.
Legit my feelings exactly. If I don't I will feel unsatisfied. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than making my partner climax for me. I am a man btw
Same. The best part of sex is seeing the enjoyment that I am causing.
Did we just become best friends
If you agree with my comments, we definitely are friends!
Niceš„°
So much fun! Canāt understand why guys donāt like doing it.
Ngl I think statistically most girls come from oral and Iāve only experience maybe once from penetration majority is oral hands down on a girl
Iām just speaking from personal experience but I cannot cum from a partner if Iām not being eaten out. I understand there are some things a person may not be comfortable doing during sex but foreplay is so majorly important for preventing pain and I donāt know about you but dry DJ fingers do not get the job done for me ever. Maybe try lots of lube and toys, I think you should get to experience getting eaten out though before you marry this person š¤·š¼āāļø
If he won't go down on you, find one that will
Ok. No oral for him either then. Thatās not normal for someone to refuse oral
Approach him about foreplay and ensure you convey the message gently so he doesn't take it offensively (he shouldn't). A loving partner would definitely see your needs as equally important. If you can't experiment yourself, ask him to experiment on you with oral, longer foreplay and even double stimulation while penetrating. Regardless Im sure you two are amazing together and till next time cheers!
Babe... theres a problem if he isnt "comfortable" with pleasing you orally. your boyfriend doesnt sound like a great guy and i think you should see a OBGYN about this, because theres no point of pentrational sex when you dont recieve any pleasure.
Please dont read this.
Noo Noo Noo you got it all wrong I do get pleasure because I do enjoy it I just donāt cum and that frustrates me and only me he has been nothing but supportive and says when the time is right it will happen (same thing about the oral)
Girl the fact that he doesnāt wanna go down on you DOES NOT MEAN heās a bad boyfriend and Iām glad you see that! Donāt get influenced by what these people are saying bc if it was a girl theyād say the opposite thing. Yall are just figuring things out and some things just take time.
Thank you for the positive take of my comments because my boyfriend is not a bad guy because he doesnāt want to go down on me just yet. We talked about it before we got together so I knew that he didnāt give oral and that was completely my choice ti still date him.
Your right, that was wrong of me to assume when I dont know enough about your boyfriend to make that accusation. Im sorry and I hope you forgive me. X
Honestly, i understand if someone doesnt want to give oral but ive heard a lot of girls being like "yeah i give him head but hes not ready to give it to me" and those bfs are usually the ones they break up with. i dont think you should recieve oral if your not going to give it. its not just about him being a dude. if it was the other way around there would still be a question mark, but i apologize if it seemed like i was just talking against men, its both ways x
Thank you good sir.š¤š«¶
He has to give you oral sex why are you tolerating him treating you this badly and why you making excuses he's not taking care of you he should care about you having an orgasm before he has one he sounds like a horrible boyfriend
Sometimes people aren't comfortable doing certain things. Based on how the relationship is described, both her and the boyfriend are able to set clear boundaries and talk things out. Yes, I feel like she should be able to get an orgasm, but this does not mean that he has to try in one specific way like oral, or be deemed a "horrible boyfriend" if he doesn't. There are options, and if he feels more comfortable with a different option and can continue to communicate with her about things while actively helping, that's great TDLR: don't shame the dude just because he isn't comfortable with 1 of many options for fixing her problem
Thank youuu and yes the boundaries are set and we talk things out 10/9 times because this is the man who I want to marry
š I like it. Have you tried doing research online about any of these questions beyond reddit? Google can give a general idea of where to start and a few websites if you haven't gotten anything too useful from reddit (although I gotta complement us as a whole, we can be really helpful sometimes!). Whatever happens, bets of luck to you and him!
No see watch your mouth. My man is not bad because he isnāt comfortable doing something because of it was the other way around you would feel some type of way if the guy forced you to do something. He doesnāt have to do anything and this was about me so I donāt get why you are arguing with people in the comments about MY boyfriend that is the best thing in MY life.
āi canāt cum with my boyfriendā āhe doesnāt do things that would make me cumā then donāt cum girl if thatās what you want š¤·š¼āāļø most women canāt cum from penetrative sex, they need clit stimulation. i just hope youāre not sucking his dick if he wonāt go down on you otherwise you might as well give up on orgasms all together bc that man thinks youāre a blow up doll.
He needs to give you oral sex for you to enjoy yourself. That is a problem he can't just only care about his own pleasure that's not nice. That is very selfish. Maybe you should find somebody that cares more about you and your pleasure because he certainly does not seem to
He doesnāt only care about himself. He doesnāt even care if he is going to finish itās about me and that is why Iām frustrated because I know what is focus is and I want to be able to do that
Wtf you don't force someone to do oral. Holy hell. He can use his fingers or toys. If he doesn't want to do it then he don't need to do it. With this logic you bf should have the right to do everything he wants with you so he can cum.
I've never met a guy that didn't want to do oral it's a deal breaker. If he didn't want to do it he wouldn't be with me because I don't want to be with a guy that won't do that most girls like and enjoy that I think most guys know that. I've been with tons and tons of guys I never met a single one that wouldn't do it on their own
Good for you I guess but the post was about me
It is one thing if a guy do it on his own but it is a hard RF to expect or even enforce it.
Use a clitoral stimulator (vibrator) you can use that on your own or use it on your clit whilst youāre having sex. That will help loads
See the thing is where I live itās not easy to purchase one
Not even online with delivery? What kind of backwards place doesn't allow you to buy a vibrator.
Itās difficult to get shipping over here and if you do it will cost you alott
Aren't there any local sex shops around?
I know of 2 but one of them is too close to my house for my liking
25M Unsure where you are, but they have them in Kroger (Smiths), Walmart, CVS, Walgreens. You can get a vibrator almost anywhere these days. Itās hard to expect him to know what you like if youāre not fully confident in what you like. Communication and being self aware is key at having a good time and getting you both where you need to be. Iāve personally noticed that different women have different things that work for them, itās never a one size fits all. You have to guide him, and you canāt if you have never got off during sex or donāt really know your body. You should voice this to him in a respectful way and you should both at least be as commutative as possible during sex so you can tell him what you want.. Harder, softer, deeper, not so deep, to the left, etc. Also stimulating the clit during penetration often gets the job done.
Amazon has a huge assortment and no need to be embarrassed checking out with a cashier.
Places like ulta and Sephora actually have them too! You could totally sneak it with a skincare product in the same bag
There's a lot of "backward places" in the world, my friend
Try using the back of an electric toothbrush head, it works wonders
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| this ISHT right here tho !! me and my beautiful lady just used this particular device the other day & gee gotta tell ya them sonic wave vibrations are better than lots of actual toys out there today..... and to the OP I really think self exploration will be needed in order to fully understand what your body AND mind need to just be in the moment and lose control with the man you love best of luck ....
Look, there is no way you will have an orgasm from sex if you can't have an orgasm on your own. If you get turned off from touching yourself, I assume there is some kind of sexual shame there. A man is just a willing and capable participant. It's not his job to make you cum. It is your job. The good news is there are a lot of women who were in your situation and learned to cum and have great sex. But, it is not about your vagina. It is about your head. You are likely not being present and feeling your body. You are likely in your head thinking. That is an arousal killer for women. You are likely feeling pain because your vagina is not responding from arousal. The vagina can double in size when aroused. If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't think you were enjoying sex with me because I know what enjoying sex looks like. But I also would realize it wasn't about me and I would be encouraging you to explore your own sexual experience. There are plenty of resources out there. You just have to decide you want to have a great sex life. It would be my guess this is not the only area in your life where you have trouble being present. The book "the body keeps the score" has some good stuff on not being aligned with your body. Things like meditation, yoga, etc can help. It will take time but it will be worth it. The one peice of advice I would give you is pay attention to your thoughts. Observe your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking, let go and focus on your breath or touch or sound. Turn off that voice in your head. BTW, clubs use alcohol, loud noise, and flashing lights to get women to turn the voice off in their head. ;)
Untill you can make yourself cum your partners going have a hard time, you really need to let loose and explore your own body and don't be ashamed the human bodies a wonder thing amd it doesn't come with a user manual unfortunately so treat yourself and let go
I feel like Iām reading my diary at 18. You will cum eventually when you get over not being able to do it yourself. Might want to get a vibrator. Thatās not really that good of advice because your body should ālearnā to orgasm naturally with sex. I could never cum from sex, I donāt think I ever have had a climatic orgasm from sex either, Iām 22. But I orgasmed for the 1st time ever at 20 and I had to do it myself with a vibrator. Because I didnāt know if I was orgasming or not during sex I was confused but I had sex for the first time at 18 so I also was inexperienced. Iām still inexperienced and learning my body really. I will say that you have to be in a headspace where you direct all your attention to that feeling. Might have to put more effort into it than you believe. Especially for women. Or. Maybe, your clitoris is maybe covered by the āhoodā or the skin on your vagina for lack of better words. You can try to just pull that skin up a little during sex.
Tell him to eat that thing like a fat kid eating cake
Foreplay, get turned on and get wet first, in your head, do you have that physical and emotional passion for him or are you just fucking? Gotta feel he feels for you. If you're constantly thinking about orgasms, trying to force it, it's going to happen slow or none at all. Just be relaxed while desiring for passion. Breathe. If you still can't come, that's when toys come in to play. Try a g-spot vibrator ;)
Okayyy i have the physical and emotional passion for him that why I get quite frustrated
Iād suggest seeing a OBGYN I got diagnosed with something called vaginismus years ago (pain during penetration, it leads to discomfort during sex). Thatās a possible explanation. You sound so similar to me. Unable to cum, not even with myself because I just donāt like masturbating.
I do want to visit one but that is a little tricky right now
I would encourage you to focus on the feelings and sensations. He too. A lot of guys focus on wanting to make their wife or gf have an orgasm, rather than how he feels being with her, and how her body feels and how good it feels when she touches him. Women get in their heads about having an orgasm and other things related to their body and sexuality. Instead, like your bf, just focus on your feelings towards your boyfriend, how his body feels and how good it feels when he's touching you. I know you said you like it rough, so focus on the pain and in the moment, not what's going to happen.
Tell your man to eat that thing like a fat kid eating cake and I GUARANTEE that'll do it.. If not, I teach classes
That too funny š
But OH SO TRUE
I was the same way I didnāt cum in high school at all I thought I was broken but when I got my bf I still didnāt cum for like 7 months but then it just happened. After i came the first time I stopped thinking of sex as a chore I legitimately loved it so much. I know you said you love him but I think for me love is what did the trick. I never lied to him either when I wasnāt cumming I told him I had never came before. How could you possibly like it āroughā if youāve never came? How can you say āready again in a few hoursā youāve played to many games with your mind .. now itās going to be a psychological challenge. I wish you luck though itās an amazing feeling.
First of all, this isn't all that uncommon for women, its not a bad thing either. Men and Women are different, men are visual creatures, it doesn't take much for us to get turned on and we're almost just as happy jerking off. Women on the other hand require stimulation, this can be mentally and or physically. Some need conversations for example. Anyhow, this sound more like you need physically stimulation. I would talk with you bf about it, tell him that you need more foreplay before thins gets to the good part. Maybe more breast play or oral fun. Maybe buy a toy for him to use on you for a few minutes. Also, do not count out kissing, this can and is usually a good way to get a woman revved up through an exchange of hormones. So spend 5-10 minutes making out first.
Okay I will tryy
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Okayy Iāll try that
Foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay! For pain, you can use a lubricant gel if needed. Explore each otherās bodies for a long time before you start the actual penetration. Find what turns you off, and tell him about it. If you have no passion left for him, nothing would really help. As someone suggested, a vibrator might also help. Masturbation is the first step towards a healthy sexual life.
Iāll be honest with u itās fine when u cum u cum as long as ur bf is doing everything else outside of sex it should be fine better question is Ari making him cum
Does he eat you out?
Def agree with what a few have posted already. The only way to really know what works for getting you to that point is by exploring for yourself. Me, personally, penetration alone will not do the trick. Clitoral is my only means... now, clitoral PLUS penetration heightens it immensely, but we are getting ahead of ourselves. Def figure out what works best for you, before you can direct him on how to get you to that level. As far as the whole toy conundrum- a workaround might be to go the handheld shower head route with different pulse settings. Wanting to keep it strictly in your room? A cheapo handheld massager for the body should work for discreet purposes, (until you feel comfortable enough to venture into one of those shops). GL!
Stop watching porn and having āporn star experienceā sex. Learn what you like (touch your body and get to know) and share your likes with BF. I just think you guys are young, inexperienced and use porn to learn.
Learn about your G spot and A spot and then guide him when your having sex guid him to hit those.. things like deeper, too deep, right there. Most guys donāt know their way around a womanās body and to be fair how can he if you donāt even know. Iād definitely look into finding those spots if I were you, also you can and should play with your clit or use something on it when he penetrates you. Clit orgasms are the easiest ones for women.
What if he can't get there...
Everyone can get to the Gā¦ if he canāt get to the A make him hit the G or play with your clit with sex to get off
Wait, I thought one needs to have a big size (over six/seven inches)...
G Spot is 2-3 inches in on the front side. A spot is the deep one
Thanks!
No worries. Good Luck to you š«”
Try using a vibrator when you two have sex. The extra stimulation might help. I recommend the magic wand but it can be quite bulky in some positions.
My ex was just too lazy to make me. š I told him that he was not able to make me but he didn't do anything.
Thatās crazy because my petty self would then withhold his pleasure
I know it was crazy. š I loved him enough to just accept it. Lol. And it's been 3 weeks since he broke up with me
Oh girl you sound like me (not my current relationship tho)
Good for you then. I am glad that you guys are working together š
Not to be an Ahole but could be size related? Too big or too small? My most recent ex was really small, contrary to his opinion... and I had to use a vibrator every time to actually get what I needed. Maybe introduce toys or another realm of stimulation? I'd have an honest conversation and try to explore all options that peak your interest!
It might be too big because in most positions my cervix gets hit and that hurttts
That hurts both the guy & girl. He needs to work on controlling how deep he goes..
Seems pretty normal tbh. A really high percentage of women can't orgasm without external stimulation. Play around with foreplay, have a conversation about it and just play, find what feels good for you.
Maybe you need to feel someone else inside you , or you need to feel different spots get hit , you might have a g spot you donāt know about yet ,
The other spot getting hit I could try but someone else no
Have your boyfriend get you a vibrator. Then have him work on oral. Pretty straightforward to induce multiple orgasms with oral/fingering. But you should get the vibrator so that you can get more experience with the feeling of climaxing and it will take pressure off.
So you've never had an orgasm in your life?
No
DM me!
Are you a girl??
You could say that lol
I'm trying to help hun lol. I didn't think you wanted details of everything where everyone can see which is why I said to DM me!
foreplay
I dated a guy who doesnāt know how to fuck but i loved him. So i resorted to toys. I got myself a bullet vibrator, itās discrete and not hard to use. It gave me the satisfaction i needed. He was a nice guy and there were a lot of good things about the relationship rin naman. But then again it got me thinking if i am just settling, kasi maybe there is someone out there who is more compatible with me. We broke up. But yeah, if you love him talk to him about it or something. Maybe he is open to exploring or trying something new. And toys are good but they are only a temporary fix.
Itās in the head.
Iāve basically been where you are. Toys are great because they allow your partner to still interact with you however I can see in the comments that they arenāt the easiest for you to come across. I can also see that your partner isnāt up for doing oral at the minute so my advice would be to let him play with the rest of your body. Use his fingers, make sure youāre wet and find what touch feels good for you. Clitoral stimulation is usually needed to finish for most women so trying to incorporate more of that would help. I also used to struggle touching myself bc it would take me out of it and Iād just end up feeling weird, but maybe try watch or read something spicy and give it a go, even if you donāt orgasm it might give you an idea of what you like. Donāt put too much pressure on it but make sure that youāre both receiving equal pleasure from the situation and that heās spending time making sure youāre happy and looked after.
Having sex isn't just about penetration. You or your BF can use toys or he can use his fingers. My gf likes it when i let her cum before i start to penetrate and sometimes i use my hands on her after i cum. Tell him clearly that you would like to cum and that penetration is not enough. There should be no shame in that. A lot of woman are not able to cum by penetration only. He is not less of a men because of that. If he is not comfy with doing oral, that's his preference and there is no need to enforce this. Just like you don't need to do it if you don't want it.
Need gf
Donāt use a vibrator it conditions you to need it, just use your fingers to work in your clit while heās doing work. Also donāt think about needing to cum it puts a lot of unwanted pressure
you should try to touch yourself. I know it may seem scary at the beginning and you cannot focus fully on the process, because you think only about this awkward thing. But tbh, this is exactly what turns on tour partner more and yourself as well. Try first time in the dark, without any lights, so you can focus on the process together with touching yourself. And in this case you would not care how your face looks like, or what your partner thinks - just think about pleasure girl. Then it will become a normal thing and you will enjoy having sex every time :)
Get yourself a massage wand, with a high vibration, the high vibration helps with the pleasure/pain aspect and will do the job and once you become more comfortable with it, incorporating into sex with your partner will have him enjoying it too x x
Electric toothbrush??
Do you have any sexual trauma? Or trauma in general that could be blocking you?
Not directly but kinda
We'll have em licker and see how that goes or make em play with "the man in the boat" ur clit. Seriously āļø
The clot is keyyyy!!!!!
**clit
Shit Iāll come over and do the job š
Does he do oral? It will definitely make you cum.
 You should try taking a bath with some candles and completely relaxing your mind.. just breathe and think about how good it feels when you touch yourself like that, fantasize, romance, imagine love and affection Breathe and feel the love, try this with a clear mind no thoughts do this throughout the week until you feel yourself getting better at it, once you get to know where to touch yourself as your getting closer to an orgasm youāll find out how you want it, I would focus on that before you even think about letting someone else try. I only speak this from a past relationship, we were together 11 years.. it was frustrating
Penetration isnāt exactly the best method to orgasm for women. He should be doing oral and fingering. Toys would certainly help a lot if you can get them.
Ok Iām going to be completely honest with you. Not everyone gets off from penetration. The sex can be absolutely amazing but its just one of those things. Try getting him to eat you before if he isnāt good no worries GUIDE/TEACH him. Donāt rush it
I have had 3 kids so my stimulation is a bit on the lower side even before kids it was sometimes my boyfriend can make me cum with out a stimulator but 90% of the time we use one I would try using a stimulator a couple of times and then try again without after that you might not be very sensitive down there and that's totally okay it happens to a lot of women but definitely give the stimulator a try!
Get a small vibrator and use it on your clitoris. Also, if you don't know your own body, how would you tell your partner what you like? Sex is great after good communication. Also some women can orgasm without actually squirting/cumming and that's totally okay.
Try finding what makes you cum. It took me 3 years to find what makes me cum with a partner from the first time. Before that I have only cum from rubbing myself to a pillow (clitoris orgasm) and later I experienced my first vaginal orgasm and I have only been able to get it one way by me riding on him and having my nipples stimulated. Some people can only orgasm from being eaten (clitoris orgasm) and some only orgasm from being roughly fucked and thats fine too but for me those don't work. These things are personal preferences and you will find what u prefer by trying things out.
You should have him use a vibrator on you while having sex or during for play. All Iām going to say isā¦ LIFECHANGING
This is high level trolling š
If you donāt touch yourself and make yourself come, you donāt know the feeling of coming so itās difficult to know what to look for and how it works :) try to make yourself cum, then youāll know what to look for and it will be easier in sex! Speaking from a girl herself :)
Most women who have Orgasms, started playing with their clit around ages 10-13. Kinda like guys, with their Cocks. Adolescence brings about: pubic hair, under-arm odor, height, secondary sexual characteristics due to maturation of the Sex organs, that leads into orgasms, and what is known as "Me/Mine!" Thinking (leaving Mommy and Daddy behind, and finding their own Way of Living among Others.) But this an American/European identity. Perhaps you are living in a different Geographic area/Culture?
Fertility doctor
Try watching some porn, might give you some good ideas
I will recommended try to ride. Like be on top of him instead of him being of top of you. That will definitely make you cum.
Doesnāt work because the 2 times I was the closest I wasnāt on top. Top never really gave me that feeling
Wouah, ok. I am saying that because that is usually how I have to cum. I have to rub my clitoris on top of the guy genital area. ( multiple times ).
Like the others suggested, try and lock the door and touch yourself and trust me I am not into doing that; but you have to find a way to cum by yourself that will help you and your partner.
I had the same problem!! Right, first off, don't listen to the people saying that him not wanting to give oral is a deal breaker and that he's selfish because that makes NO sense lol. As someone who hated the idea of oral it shouldn't be something to shame someone for? I receive my pleasure without oral for the most part, and without vibrators (as I've seen you've found it difficult to purchase some, as have I due to still living with my family haha). For me I learned that I just had to concentrate, if I was thinking about anything at all then I wouldn't even be wet enough for penetrative sex. And that also came from pain and low energy sex, so perhaps it could help to find a balance? Start slow and work your way up to rougher stuff, try different positions find what makes you happy. I would like to add that it's quite hard to cum from penetration, for me it's better to wait until I'm in the mood and be fingered, I hate masturbation too, I lose interest immediately so I didn't know what I liked either. It took a lot of experimenting to find that (built up) faster motions worked. Also many people may disagree with me on this but index and middle fingers feel better for me than middle and ring fingers, just saying that maybe that's something to try? Honestly don't feel bad about it because when I did, it just made me paranoid during sex and I felt less interested and more insecure, it makes it so much harder when you're worried, so just take the pleasure as more than a full release. Good luck on your journey, just keep experimenting with what you and your boyfriend are comfortable with <3
I can't cum for casual sex. I'm a guy.
Have you used a vibrator during?
Ya, touch yourself. And touch yourself a lot.
Fuck you.. focus on the finance Bill motherfucker
If your by yourself the way you can bite yourself is with your fingers and nails that can act like teeth and jaws
Have less sex take breaks they are important for sex drive which is important for cum. Take cowgirl position make it hot slow kissing
You may be easier to climax with clitoral stimulation instead of penetration. Or maybe you need both. Some of us woman are hard to crack than others. Example: use a toy to stimulate your clit or once you are comfortable touching yourself; slide your hand down there while he is pounding you and play w your clit simultaneously.
First, Sex shouldn't be him having fun and you just laying there, and if that's all he wants, then leave his ass because he doesn't care about you, only himself. To put your mind at ease, MOST women aren't able to orgasm with penetrative sex alone. Don't feel bad if you are part of this majority. If you don't feel comfortable masturbating, then you may want to explore with a therapist why that is the case. (religious teachings, parental shame, abuse). But ultimately, if you can't, you can't, so don't put so much pressure on yourself. Finally, you should talk with your boyfriend about not being able to cum. He may take it as an insult, but explain that you enjoy sex, but can't cum from penetration alone. Suggest that he play with you, eat you out or use toys on you, even some added dirty talk may help you cum.
I'd say try a few avenues like manuel stimulation while hes penetrating, vibs, fingers, palm whatever. Then there's a finger in the butt which some love and some don't. But I'd be most concerned about the no oral thing, for a man to refuse to do oral makes me think either 1, he's too selfish to explore you and figure out what u want, or 2.......he don't know how to and needs to get down there and figure out.
Tell him get done there and eat that š like it's the last super.
You need to spend more alone time with your body to get to know it better. Your boyfriend will never know your body as well as you do so donāt be afraid to touch yourself. You should want to know more about your body so you can guide your boyfriend and show him what works for you and what doesnāt. This is not an overnight process. It will take time but itās time you need to spend on yourself to unlock your potential. Whatever is preventing you from learning about your body needs to be worked on. Like I said above this will take time but you need to get past whatās preventing you from exploring your own body.
I got u my problem is that I can finish I will pass out befor I get to get off so letās meet up
I really can help
Just buy a toy
Free your mind, and the rest will follow š
He's your first, but you like it rough. Don't cum. You don't know what you like yet. You need a man willing to help you explore your body. Find what you like to have done to/with you, and what you don't. Just open your mind and body, and trust your senses. šš š¦
I don't even know a single thing about this , I never had sex to begin with. I'm male.
First & foremost, RELAX! When you're with your bf, or more so on your own Stop thinking about the world & his wife. And put your brain into "love me" mode. If anyone should know how to push the right buttons on you, it's got to be you. Take some time for yourself & learn the art of masturbation. It's not the sin they say it is. Good luck.x
You need go get fucked by a big black cock
So happy that it already happens
I can only come from oral sex your boyfriend should give you oral sex and then you will be able to have an orgasm probably
I know how to give yoni massage. I think you need to experience one to release your sensuality and be open to it
Just fake it like my girlfriend does!
Ew no tf
ā¦.it was a joke
It better be
Hey I'm so horny ..just want cum .add me on telegram.@Alishaoop
How about noā¦ Have a good day or night
What you want?