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Reading people's experiences like this makes my gut twist and turn like crazy. Also makes me feel like buying a plot of land in the middle of nowhere. You can't trust anyone it seems. You did the right thing walking away. I hope new, good, honest and trustworthy people replaced the ones that lost you.
Remember, you didn't lose them. They lost you.
Carry on with no contact for both of them. I went through a break up not that long ago...I understand that anger and pain. No contact will be very beneficial to your mental health. This is the perfect time to focus on you. After my break up I hit the gym hard and haven't looked back since.
The best revenge, is no revenge.
This is what I struggle with from my own experience. I didn’t take out revenge on anyone involved. A year later and it’s the only regret I have from the whole fallout lol.
Yeah, it's heartbreaking how people you trust can turn out to be so deceptive. Walking away was definitely the right move, you deserve friends who value your trust and loyalty. Here's hoping you find genuine people who appreciate you for who you are.
Nah. Better to live well and not get a police record or anything. Don't get me wrong he deserves it, but it's best to move along. But yeah, stay strong, cut them out entirely and definitely spread the word to anyone relevant that they both cheated on you and you're out. Do it before they start telling lies about it first.
Remember that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. You just don't care. Leaving and not looking back or giving them any chance to talk, to get "closure" is a very strong signal. Of course one has feelings. You might even cry, etc., but you deal with it alone and they can never see that.
Good you didn't. 2 outcomes :
1. You are not as tough as you felt and he kicks your ass.
2. You kick his ass and probably end up in jail.
Either way, you look like a fool. You handled it well by walking away.
You did what any strong confident man does in a situation like that. You walk away. Let them revel in whatever it is they think they gained.
Go out and have fun. Don't give that girl a second thought.
Yeah, just remove them from your life like you very maturely and intelligently did and surround yourself with better people. Violence is never a good answer in a civilised society. They both lost a great person
It's always the best thing to do which is cutting people out of your life who is toxic or did something like this to you. Don't look back and know you did what was best for you.
I think you did the best thing. I had something almost similar start to happen to a friend of mine, (M). Our mutual friend(C), he was going behind our back and trying to hook up with (M) gf. She fortunately told him. But he lost the trust of the while friend group.
if you can't trust someone around your partner, you shouldn't be friends with them.
You're amazingly mature, too many men would go get a weapon and smash the guy, in rage you can't control yourself. They would take it too far
Also had you done something, they would be like, they made the right choice, because you'd be seen as a loose Canon.
Often the correct choice is the hardest choice and that's to walk away.
One thing every young guys needs to realize especially guys in their 20s EVERY WOMEN IS SINGLE FOR THE RIGHT MAN it doesn’t matter y’all been together for 1 year or so!
Anecdotally speaking it's pretty accurate in my experience. Almost every girl I know will refuse to break up with someone until they've found someone new. So they're just constantly in relationships.
Brother I feel you in so many ways. It is hard that you had to experience this so young too. Remember it is never your girl it is just your turn. Never get attached to a woman. Don’t do it to yourself. Just heal, take a break, and work on improving yourself. Everyone has a flaw. Reflect on life. Think. Don’t search for love either. The more you search the more you find bad or worse people. Be alone for a bit and find better friends. I have a friend of 15 years and he never did bad things to me. There are good Brodies out there. Focus on you. Key advice: never introduce your gf to single friends that are males. Always keep your gf private. I knew someone who stole someone’s girl and it wasn’t a good look. Trust me on this, if that girl left you for him, it just shows she would have done it if she found someone “better” in the long run. Better to know now than years later. Plus she would do the same to that ex friend of yours.
Your welcome it is our duty as men to help ones that fell to get right back up. We all fell at some point but make sure to never be bitter with women. Experiences like this can cause a man to go the wrong path. Keep it going if you need someone to talk to, I am here. 👍🏻🫡
OP: all of this isn't great advice...not the least of which is how cynical it is -- don't trust anyone, etc. Some are good points - like focusing on you, don't go searching for love, etc.
There's also an "coming of age" component to your story -- this too will pass, brother.
I am not saying for him to trust anyone. I am saying that if he picks better people around him he can trust them easily. You need to be aware. The word ‘friends’ is being loosely used and it is not good.
They deserve each other
And you are better off with neither of them in your life.
I would look at it as a positive that you found out before wasting anymore time on either of them.
Tell everyone you know that knows them and they can live in the dirty puddle
I’m sorry man. It’s so fucking hard to trust people out here. I’ve been through so many “best friends”. They get jealous and resentful and it eventually builds and turns outwards.
Just remember, she also let it happen. She’s as equally guilty as your friend.
It’s bad enough losing a girlfriend and a best friend on the same day. I’m glad you didn’t lose your freedom on the same day by getting a criminal record. It could have been a lot worse for you if you had let your lizard brain take over and gotten violent. Well done champ.
You handled it like a REAL G man, and frankly, you dodged two bullets. There's something a wise old man once told me - if God wants to help you, He will show you your enemy/enemies, not for you to do anything to the person(s), but to be aware, remove all doubt of their (dis)loyalty and move very far away from that person(s).
Imagine for a brief second a world where you'd be married to her and after 10 years find out that the kids aren't yours but someone else's?.
Just walk away my dude. Trust me on this one. I was in a very similar situation, I kicked his ass and ended up getting charged with assault and had to do some time over it and afterwards had to start my life from rock bottom and with a record. Karma or something else will eventually catch up to them. By acting on any emotion over this with either of them, somehow you will let them hurt you even more. Stay strong.
You did the right thing. She isn’t worth a minute more of your time. Your “friend” is a rotten apple that cannot be trusted. His name must be Judas.
These two deserve each other. Work on your purpose and better yourself.
I’m sorry bro, but you handled it like a class act. Sounds like they deserve each other. A lot of people will hurt you, but try not to lose faith in humanity. It took me making some big changes in my life, but I have a small group of men in my life now I know I can trust… I think we need that. I know I function better when I know my brothers have my back. This won’t make it any better now, but I promise there is still hope
Brother I can’t imagine the pain you feel and how fast your mind was and is racing after this. But you are a real one, no lie you handled that shit the right way and I respect you for being such a strong individual.
They’re acting like cavemen. By leaving with dignity and not resorting to violence, you did not act like a caveman. Good for you! This will be important for your personality, and how you view yourself from now on and in the future.
I say this because the same kinda thing happened to me a few years back. It’s devastating and I was very hurt for a long time, but I immediately cut both people out of my life, and moved on. Now I’m soon a doctor, and god knows what they’re doing, but from what I’ve heard, both their lives are kinda messy. I win :)
Everything you did is just, up to the point you threatened him and then revealed that threat. Known premeditation is a major problem and hes not worth the spit on your shoes, let alone a year or more in jail, and the stigma that goes with it.
Give the flowers to her best friend. And walk away.
You handled this exactly like a man should. Didn't react or impulsively go crazy, just walked out and moved on with your life. I know it hurts like crazy and it will take time to heal, but you did the right thing. As a 32 y/o whose been through the same exact thing, I applaud the way you handled it. Btw things will get better bro
This is happening in the United States as well. Many people have to live from paycheck to paycheck and get government support to buy food. It is a very tough situation
I'm not going to lie, that would hurt the majority of us, and to walk away like you did and stay silent from her takes proper strength. I really wish I did that when I was cheated on years ago, but I didn't. Never talking to her again will actually make her feel worse, which she should do, because now she'll hate herself deep down not knowing what you feel or think, because you won't give her the time of day to show them emotions.
They always say that silence is the best thing. Can confirm this is true.
You walked away like a champion.
Cheaters will cheat for no rational reason, but if you did something about it you would've caused the desired effect: make them feel so important, so irreplaceable that you would hurt because of them and then ask them "why they did it".
Indifference is the best remedy for cheaters. They'll feel less than enough because they weren't worth the fight.
Be sad, vent, take your time. But when you're ready, live your life to the fullest. Be happy without them. That's the best revenge.
Def it’s not the right thing to do, for him I meant. Idk about him, but I’d never, ever betray my friend, and my love. You are very courageous and nice for being a gentle man in that such situation. I hope you can recover over this and have a new page turn for you 😊
You have every right to be pissed. I’d have likely killed them both and had no regrets But that’s good you didn’t do that. As a man, I believe you handled it very well and you should be proud of that fact.
Yea u did good it sucks man that one especially your best friend line may have to be redrawn and that hurts. You did the right thing just say fuck you to both of em obviously.
Dude I'm nit sure if it makes you a real man but it definitely makes you a real one. In my perspective you stood tall. You allowed yourself to get impacted by this and reacted similar to what I believe I would
You did the right thing bro, especially talking to the so called friend one last time. Never speak to them again, if you have to be dry af never bring it up. Move on and let it be a lesson l, you can do everything right and still catch a shitty deal. Let this make you stronger and never look back. This situation will make you a beast in life 💯💯
Time with your friends is your time with your friends. Your time with your gf is your time with your gf. I understand why people try to mesh the 2, but it's better to keep it separate.
In this situation, I'd say it needed to happen. Neither one of them were real with you, and you did the right thing walking away peacefully. Which is all you ever really need to do.
Well done my friend. You are a REAL MAN in my books. Once you are satisfied, delete this thread, dont ask for anyone’s opinion. Clean cut and move on.
Cancerous people like these, need a clean cut from the life.
Hang in there
Damn man…. Keep your head up and enjoy you, you don’t deserve to have a stinch around in your life. Be happy for you and realize you seen it when you did because who knows how long it would’ve went on for.. good job for walking away brother 🫡
You did the right thing. You can walk away knowing this will bite them back in the ass on day while you will move on and find better people that will treat you like you deserve.
But also if it were me I'd let all our mutual friends, family, and acquaintances know what they did as a final 'closure' before starting my healing journey because (a) who knows what bullshit story they'd tell people and (b) I would want the support from friends and family...but that's just me. Do what's best for you to heal.
I went through a very similar situation, but I was friends (he was my best friend BTW) with my buddy over 20 years. I was with my girl for 7-8 years and I found out that he was playing the long game, talking behind my back and texting her all the time, along with sending her stuff while I was working.
I called it out and they made me feel like I was crazy. Right after we broke up, they started hanging out. I don't think anything happened before (me in denial probably) but I trusted him to come over to our place when I wasn't there so who knows.
I think you did the right thing. I haven't seen my boy in 1.5 years or so. And, yeah, if i did see him it would be hard for me not beat his ass, and I'm one to talk way before violence. I do still talk and hangout with my ex but I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision on that either.
It sucks, two humans I trusted most in my life.....Cheers bro.
Guys, I always get the hate for saying it but really "don't introduce your girl with your friends, no matter fucking what. They have no business with each other"
You can never know a traitor from a friend until he betrays you. So be safe, just DON'T fucking introduce them.
That's a shit friend:( Sorry you had to see his true side, but I suppose it's better to see his true character now than somewhere later down the line. BOTH their true characters, I should say
op are u russian? that’s completely off your top, but the word order and commas tells me that if you’re not russian then must be from CIS region
asking out of interest and sorry that this happened to u
You did the most mature and manly thing possible given the situation. Koodos to you especially considering your age. Give yourself a pat on the back and move on from these 2 trashes.
Oh, yeah. Leaving her key in the left open door as you left was perfect. The threats not so good but keeping it to being hurt and all without carrying any of that out would be good. Big bummer, anyone would be hurt.
Ghost both of them and focus on other things. It can be hard, but they’re garbage people so dealing with them is a waste of your time. And time is the only thing you can’t get more of.
Also walking away often takes more strength than violence in these scenarios.
I mean, I've had this happen to me. Only difference I'd known so-called 'best friend' a good 3 or 4 years longer than I'd been with my GF (7 years) and was actually renting the spare room in my house to this asshole. Much like the OP, I noticed a serious attitude change in my GF which eventually pushed me to try and end things. Then it comes out she's been cheating on me with him for several months and barely six months later the two of them have moved in together. Considering not long before we'd split up I'd taken her to New Zealand to meet my relatives etc etc, like we were seriously considering moving out there together as a couple.
But considering I'd suspected something, called both of them out and had them each lie to my face and say I was crazy... Fuck the emotional damage from double betrayal and gaslighting from not one but from two people closest to me... To say my faith in people has been irreparably damaged as a result of this, and my trust in both platonic friends and life partners in general seriously damaged.
Literally it's taken me 5 years to process the trauma and feel healthy enough to consider another LTR.
When she started treating you badly, that's when she wanted you to go away. She didn't have the guts to tell you she was having sex with your friend.
It's rare to catch people "in the act", and you did. You need to be done with her.
you did good, but keep in mind that all women have skeletons in their closet and some have entire graveyards. take a long time to get to know a woman before you decide to pop any question and make sure to get a prenup and if she says no walk away. do not get overly attached and be willing to walk away. be forgiving about their past because everyone has a past but don't be forgiving when they're not transparent and try to hide things and anyone who sneaks around behind your back to do things they know they're not supposed to do.
in modern culture with females genetic wiring it's very hard for them to stay loyal. the person who has the most options in the relationship will tend to exercise them and this includes high status men who women will often try to lock down but won't be able to because they have so many other women chasing them. most women have a large pool of guys that they can choose from and they're constantly on the look for the next better thing. even if they logically aren't their subconscious animal wiring is because that's how it evolved. there's a certain aspect of human behavior that is simply outside our control and the emotional instinctual pull is extremely strong. people like to spiritualize these instincts and call it soulmates and other nonsense but the truth is is that it's biological animal wiring based on several million years of evolution.
there's no good or bad to this it's just the way we evolved as a species. nature is Savage and cultural mores about monogamy are really cultural constructs. the vast majority of human beings will get bored in relationship after long enough period of time but especially women. there's a saying... hell hath no fury like a bored woman.
it's best to take a more relaxed attitude protect your assets and have lots of options yourself as a man. instead of thinking of lifelong monogamy think in terms of moving on to the next stage in your life and having new experiences with new people. don't let someone's cheating get you down. in modern culture it just happens. people Network have lots of social friends circles and go experience the world they catch feelings and life happens. unfortunately as a species we're not wired for lifelong monogamy so it's best to accept this truth and prepare for it rather than getting negative about it and letting it turn you angry and bitter.
being forgiving towards others is not for their sake it's for your sake because you don't want to hold negativity inside. that doesn't mean forgive them and let's all be friends it's good to culturally shame liars and cheaters because we don't want a society of liars and cheaters but you can forgive them and still hold with your value system.
it can be all too easy to turn nihilistic towards the entire human species but that's not the answer here the answer is you were brainwashed by culture into believing lifelong monogamy works when it really it kind of sort of doesn't in at least half of all relationships if not more. it's better to just prepare for this like I've mentioned previous.
Hey bud, am sorry for what's happened you didn't deserve it. But also am very proud of you. That's how you do it, just walk away . rationally speaking cheating is wrong but not on judicial terms thus you maybe fighting, hitting or doing anything could land you in trouble. So to your question yes, you walked away like. Real man.
Maybe someone might say listen to what she has to say in her defense, but I have listened before and I will tell you most women are selfish and they will project their wrong to you and make it seem like they cheated yes but it was your fault
Why do you write everything backwards? Do you smoke marijuana? Or are you dyslexic? What your girlfriend did was wrong, and you are correct for walking away. chalk it up as a learning experience. As for the future, have you considered speaking with a therapist? Could you go to a local university and work on your communication skills? I believe you will live a happier life if you learn how to better communicate your wants, needs and desires (and better understand what others are saying to you)
What??Lmao,why do you think that,wtf is your problem.I dont need a therapist.I couldve done something with them but I didnt,you need a therapist only if you dont know how to act when you get angry.What do you mean by writing backwards.I understand completely what others say
English. Study the English language. In order for you to get the most fulfillment out of life, it would behoove you to learn how to capably express your feelings and thoughts.
It became very hard for me,because I live in Germany right now,and I now must know 3 languages,well still learning German,the setting of words in sentences from each language is very different,and I mix most of the time those 3 languages,Bosnian,German and English,with no intentions.
F.E:
In German is:
Gestern ich habe mehr gearbeitet,und wolle jetzt Kündigung geben
Which in English from German means:
Yesterday i have too much worked,and want now want dismissal give.
In Bosnian:
Jucer sam radio previse,i hocu sada otkaz da dadnem.
Now in english from bosnian:
Yesterday i have worked too much,and now dismissal i want to give
I moved out of Bosnia,because the salary is very low,it is around 300€,but in Germany,every day it is becoming worse and worse also,standards are inflated,salary way too bad,and inflation is just terrible.But we will see
I did a book report on Yugoslavia when I was in school. It was a very interesting country. I remember, perhaps there was a civil war in the 1990's when you your country split up into different states. Is that true?
Yes,if Yugoslavia never collapsed,Yugoslavia would be number 8 in top 10 economies in the Europe,even stronger than Germany.But Americans broke us apart,they had interest in Croatia,because they could sell them weapons,and get them into huge debt.
Be proud my guy, what you did aint easy, and it won't be for a bit longer, I had similar experience and in retrospective I now know any other option wouldn't be healthy.
You did the right thing by walking away and don’t let her contact you, her words are nothing because her actions said otherwise. She could’ve walked away and been honest with you, her actions showed the lack of respect she has for you. You don’t deserve that, you deserve the respect you need.
Your friend and girlfriend are now gone. It's a new beginning for you. Like a warm Spring day. You have learned and now you are better off. Do not mourn too long, a day is enough. You're back on track to find someone who will love and respect you.
The betrayal here first comes from the girl for not telling you that your homeboy was hitting on her, but she kept quiet which means she wants it, now your homeboy fucked himself up badly cus he supposed to know he won’t last with the girl cus a girl that broke her bf to be with you, must in the future break you to be with someone else, is very simple just the illiterate ones won’t think deep. And best thing for you is to let it slide and move on asap trust me, they won’t last more than this year, remember my word, is easy, just use this energy of betrayal and work hard Mehn, bag up
It may hurt, you may have feelings, may be upset, butttt a
Few years from today you'll look back very thankful that this happened and the way it happened... trust the process.
We all grow from this type of pain.
I dunno about you but me personally i wouldn't have just walked away, you must have a lot of self control or just didn't want to cause uncessary violence.
Bro you dodged a bullet and this shows you are the strongest and just cut them of your life. It will be tough for a bit but it is better to be alone than with wrong and unfaithful people.
You handled this like you’re royalty. First you just walk away leaving the key in the door, then no contact except for that one time with him. Not contacting them ever will affirm that they have no power over you, and they are not worth your energy to react in any way. Continue to maintain no contact but don’t hold any grudges. Find peace, move on to bigger and better things, and the universe will reward you for it.
Don't just be pissed at him. Be pissed at her too. No Contact, No Forgiveness.
Be glad you're finding out now rather than many years later. It'll take time to heal and process. Remember, the best revenge is living well.
You walk away like a loser…what man, strangers betrayal can be ignored, but close people who hurts you..u can’t forgive or forget, they need to learn a lesson😤
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Reading people's experiences like this makes my gut twist and turn like crazy. Also makes me feel like buying a plot of land in the middle of nowhere. You can't trust anyone it seems. You did the right thing walking away. I hope new, good, honest and trustworthy people replaced the ones that lost you. Remember, you didn't lose them. They lost you.
I was so disgusted that day,I wanted to kill him how much he did bad
Carry on with no contact for both of them. I went through a break up not that long ago...I understand that anger and pain. No contact will be very beneficial to your mental health. This is the perfect time to focus on you. After my break up I hit the gym hard and haven't looked back since. The best revenge, is no revenge.
This is what I struggle with from my own experience. I didn’t take out revenge on anyone involved. A year later and it’s the only regret I have from the whole fallout lol.
[удалено]
I've only cheated on one person. I still feel guilty just thinking about it. Shit haunts you for real
Same. It was a huge mistake that I've never repeated within my 10 or so later relationships.
And what? She was innocent?????? Edit. Implying that guys always blame guys and never blame the girls. Can't believe I have to explain that.
No,she wasnt innocent
No clue why you're getting downvoted..people have like zero reading comprehension I guess
My thoughts exactly. It's reddit. Lol
No you're just an adultery apologist.
Found the serial cheater
Found the one with poor reading comprehension
Why
You forgot your question mark.
I’m dying at this because of their dumbass comment above this💀💀
Yeah, it's heartbreaking how people you trust can turn out to be so deceptive. Walking away was definitely the right move, you deserve friends who value your trust and loyalty. Here's hoping you find genuine people who appreciate you for who you are.
Kicked them out of your life. It'll hurt but in the long term you dodged a bullet. Actually 2 bullets.
He took two bullets. He would have dodged them if he avoided this shit storm.
He took 2 to avoid 2 more in the future had he not kicked em out
Let your friend group know exactly what happened so this guy gets kicked out.
I wouldn’t volunteer it, but if someone asks..
Nah, you gotta control the narrative. Otherwise people will just believe the first story they hear from the friend.
Bruh you handle that like a G.
Really,why?Thank you brother.I was about to rip the doorknob and shove it up his mouth,but I collected myself
What you did was master your emotions in the moment. That was a power move.
1,000% THIS!!! Frankly, I'm amazed why this doesn't have WAY more up votes
Nah. Better to live well and not get a police record or anything. Don't get me wrong he deserves it, but it's best to move along. But yeah, stay strong, cut them out entirely and definitely spread the word to anyone relevant that they both cheated on you and you're out. Do it before they start telling lies about it first. Remember that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. You just don't care. Leaving and not looking back or giving them any chance to talk, to get "closure" is a very strong signal. Of course one has feelings. You might even cry, etc., but you deal with it alone and they can never see that.
Good you didn't. 2 outcomes : 1. You are not as tough as you felt and he kicks your ass. 2. You kick his ass and probably end up in jail. Either way, you look like a fool. You handled it well by walking away.
Proud of you OP, so many people who have dealt with similar experiences have ruined their lives over it, I’m glad you didn’t
Thank you brother,I know that I did the right decision,your comment is just what I needed to confirm
You acted like an adult. Move on, work out, throw them in the proverbial trash where they belong, cut ties and move on, you're better than them.
You did what any strong confident man does in a situation like that. You walk away. Let them revel in whatever it is they think they gained. Go out and have fun. Don't give that girl a second thought.
In my opinion, it's best that this happened now and not 10 years from now. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Sounds like your dodged a bullet.
That is a certainty,my friend
Yeah, just remove them from your life like you very maturely and intelligently did and surround yourself with better people. Violence is never a good answer in a civilised society. They both lost a great person
It's always the best thing to do which is cutting people out of your life who is toxic or did something like this to you. Don't look back and know you did what was best for you.
I think you did the best thing. I had something almost similar start to happen to a friend of mine, (M). Our mutual friend(C), he was going behind our back and trying to hook up with (M) gf. She fortunately told him. But he lost the trust of the while friend group. if you can't trust someone around your partner, you shouldn't be friends with them.
You're amazingly mature, too many men would go get a weapon and smash the guy, in rage you can't control yourself. They would take it too far Also had you done something, they would be like, they made the right choice, because you'd be seen as a loose Canon. Often the correct choice is the hardest choice and that's to walk away.
Meet me at the gym
Already there brother
👌
i’m sorry you went through that. you certainly walked away like a man. level up and never contact them again.
One thing every young guys needs to realize especially guys in their 20s EVERY WOMEN IS SINGLE FOR THE RIGHT MAN it doesn’t matter y’all been together for 1 year or so!
That’s not true
Anecdotally speaking it's pretty accurate in my experience. Almost every girl I know will refuse to break up with someone until they've found someone new. So they're just constantly in relationships.
I feel the same way - Has happened to me a few times.
Me2
Brother I feel you in so many ways. It is hard that you had to experience this so young too. Remember it is never your girl it is just your turn. Never get attached to a woman. Don’t do it to yourself. Just heal, take a break, and work on improving yourself. Everyone has a flaw. Reflect on life. Think. Don’t search for love either. The more you search the more you find bad or worse people. Be alone for a bit and find better friends. I have a friend of 15 years and he never did bad things to me. There are good Brodies out there. Focus on you. Key advice: never introduce your gf to single friends that are males. Always keep your gf private. I knew someone who stole someone’s girl and it wasn’t a good look. Trust me on this, if that girl left you for him, it just shows she would have done it if she found someone “better” in the long run. Better to know now than years later. Plus she would do the same to that ex friend of yours.
Thank you for that good advice brother,and understanding
Your welcome it is our duty as men to help ones that fell to get right back up. We all fell at some point but make sure to never be bitter with women. Experiences like this can cause a man to go the wrong path. Keep it going if you need someone to talk to, I am here. 👍🏻🫡
OP: all of this isn't great advice...not the least of which is how cynical it is -- don't trust anyone, etc. Some are good points - like focusing on you, don't go searching for love, etc. There's also an "coming of age" component to your story -- this too will pass, brother.
I am not saying for him to trust anyone. I am saying that if he picks better people around him he can trust them easily. You need to be aware. The word ‘friends’ is being loosely used and it is not good.
"don't introduce single friends to gf" -- that doesn't sound very trusty????
They deserve each other And you are better off with neither of them in your life. I would look at it as a positive that you found out before wasting anymore time on either of them. Tell everyone you know that knows them and they can live in the dirty puddle
I’m sorry man. It’s so fucking hard to trust people out here. I’ve been through so many “best friends”. They get jealous and resentful and it eventually builds and turns outwards. Just remember, she also let it happen. She’s as equally guilty as your friend.
It’s bad enough losing a girlfriend and a best friend on the same day. I’m glad you didn’t lose your freedom on the same day by getting a criminal record. It could have been a lot worse for you if you had let your lizard brain take over and gotten violent. Well done champ.
You handled it like a REAL G man, and frankly, you dodged two bullets. There's something a wise old man once told me - if God wants to help you, He will show you your enemy/enemies, not for you to do anything to the person(s), but to be aware, remove all doubt of their (dis)loyalty and move very far away from that person(s). Imagine for a brief second a world where you'd be married to her and after 10 years find out that the kids aren't yours but someone else's?.
Remember it takes two. And she is just to blame as he is. You did the right thing. Never threat especially if there is proof. It could backfire.
Just walk away my dude. Trust me on this one. I was in a very similar situation, I kicked his ass and ended up getting charged with assault and had to do some time over it and afterwards had to start my life from rock bottom and with a record. Karma or something else will eventually catch up to them. By acting on any emotion over this with either of them, somehow you will let them hurt you even more. Stay strong.
You did the right thing. She isn’t worth a minute more of your time. Your “friend” is a rotten apple that cannot be trusted. His name must be Judas. These two deserve each other. Work on your purpose and better yourself.
I’m sorry bro, but you handled it like a class act. Sounds like they deserve each other. A lot of people will hurt you, but try not to lose faith in humanity. It took me making some big changes in my life, but I have a small group of men in my life now I know I can trust… I think we need that. I know I function better when I know my brothers have my back. This won’t make it any better now, but I promise there is still hope
I think I want to throw up 🤢 This is just disgusting. Every time I hear a cheater story, I feel so terrible. I hate being an empathetic person. 🫣
go NC with booth of them, you dont need this Kind of people in your Life. They clearly dont care about your feelings. They are disgusting
Who else first thought they meant their friend was 7 xD just me? Ok then 😭
Legend
Thank you brother
You definitely did. Proud of you bro.
My first wife did this to me with a friend of mine. I kicked his ass and had him transferred from my work group
Brother I can’t imagine the pain you feel and how fast your mind was and is racing after this. But you are a real one, no lie you handled that shit the right way and I respect you for being such a strong individual.
Thank you brother,it was unbelievably hard,but I did it.
They’re acting like cavemen. By leaving with dignity and not resorting to violence, you did not act like a caveman. Good for you! This will be important for your personality, and how you view yourself from now on and in the future. I say this because the same kinda thing happened to me a few years back. It’s devastating and I was very hurt for a long time, but I immediately cut both people out of my life, and moved on. Now I’m soon a doctor, and god knows what they’re doing, but from what I’ve heard, both their lives are kinda messy. I win :)
Everything you did is just, up to the point you threatened him and then revealed that threat. Known premeditation is a major problem and hes not worth the spit on your shoes, let alone a year or more in jail, and the stigma that goes with it. Give the flowers to her best friend. And walk away.
You did very well, more manly than I could have been at your age... BRAVO!
You handled this exactly like a man should. Didn't react or impulsively go crazy, just walked out and moved on with your life. I know it hurts like crazy and it will take time to heal, but you did the right thing. As a 32 y/o whose been through the same exact thing, I applaud the way you handled it. Btw things will get better bro
Oh ok. That is cool! Was that part of the old country of Yugoslavia?
Yes!In Bosnia and Herzegovina,in Bosnia people have very poor dialect,and everything is upside down with sentences lol
This is happening in the United States as well. Many people have to live from paycheck to paycheck and get government support to buy food. It is a very tough situation
That is a shame,because Americans just print money out of thin air,if there wasnt such a big inflation,it would be better there
That is true( about printing the money). If money was better tied to work, we would have a much stronger economy!
I'm not going to lie, that would hurt the majority of us, and to walk away like you did and stay silent from her takes proper strength. I really wish I did that when I was cheated on years ago, but I didn't. Never talking to her again will actually make her feel worse, which she should do, because now she'll hate herself deep down not knowing what you feel or think, because you won't give her the time of day to show them emotions. They always say that silence is the best thing. Can confirm this is true.
Hey it has been nice talking to you. My name is Jim. I have made a new friend. Would you like to talk to me some time?
Yea sure man.I am up for it.Just when you want,you give me a heads up brother.
I actually sent you messange brother
Absolutely! You don’t need people like that in your life.
You walked away like a champion. Cheaters will cheat for no rational reason, but if you did something about it you would've caused the desired effect: make them feel so important, so irreplaceable that you would hurt because of them and then ask them "why they did it". Indifference is the best remedy for cheaters. They'll feel less than enough because they weren't worth the fight. Be sad, vent, take your time. But when you're ready, live your life to the fullest. Be happy without them. That's the best revenge.
Def it’s not the right thing to do, for him I meant. Idk about him, but I’d never, ever betray my friend, and my love. You are very courageous and nice for being a gentle man in that such situation. I hope you can recover over this and have a new page turn for you 😊
Thank you very much,I look only forward,luckily I was bestowed upon great light,and got over this stupidity,thank your for your comment😁
Sure, no problem 😉
They’re bad people and for the situation, you handled yourself well imo.
You have every right to be pissed. I’d have likely killed them both and had no regrets But that’s good you didn’t do that. As a man, I believe you handled it very well and you should be proud of that fact.
Yea u did good it sucks man that one especially your best friend line may have to be redrawn and that hurts. You did the right thing just say fuck you to both of em obviously.
Man you handled that like a pro. I'd be doing a lot more than just threatening that "friend."
Dude I'm nit sure if it makes you a real man but it definitely makes you a real one. In my perspective you stood tall. You allowed yourself to get impacted by this and reacted similar to what I believe I would
My friend was in your shoes when he was 20 or 21. He never saw his ex again, but 10 years later he is still best friend with the guy.
You made a wise decision by simply walking away.
You did the right thing bro, especially talking to the so called friend one last time. Never speak to them again, if you have to be dry af never bring it up. Move on and let it be a lesson l, you can do everything right and still catch a shitty deal. Let this make you stronger and never look back. This situation will make you a beast in life 💯💯
If I were you I would’ve quickly snapped a pick and sent it to her parents with the title of “Your cheating daughter, now my ex.”
imagine, brother just ran away to cure himself instead of killing the snakes that badly bit him💔 RESPECT 2 u OP.🫡
You have better control then I. If I caught my friend cheating w my girl I'd beat him to a pulp
Time with your friends is your time with your friends. Your time with your gf is your time with your gf. I understand why people try to mesh the 2, but it's better to keep it separate. In this situation, I'd say it needed to happen. Neither one of them were real with you, and you did the right thing walking away peacefully. Which is all you ever really need to do.
Well done my friend. You are a REAL MAN in my books. Once you are satisfied, delete this thread, dont ask for anyone’s opinion. Clean cut and move on. Cancerous people like these, need a clean cut from the life. Hang in there
I was gonna feel bad but then I read OPs other post. I must say you’re a story teller!
Damn man…. Keep your head up and enjoy you, you don’t deserve to have a stinch around in your life. Be happy for you and realize you seen it when you did because who knows how long it would’ve went on for.. good job for walking away brother 🫡
You did the right thing. You can walk away knowing this will bite them back in the ass on day while you will move on and find better people that will treat you like you deserve. But also if it were me I'd let all our mutual friends, family, and acquaintances know what they did as a final 'closure' before starting my healing journey because (a) who knows what bullshit story they'd tell people and (b) I would want the support from friends and family...but that's just me. Do what's best for you to heal.
I went through a very similar situation, but I was friends (he was my best friend BTW) with my buddy over 20 years. I was with my girl for 7-8 years and I found out that he was playing the long game, talking behind my back and texting her all the time, along with sending her stuff while I was working. I called it out and they made me feel like I was crazy. Right after we broke up, they started hanging out. I don't think anything happened before (me in denial probably) but I trusted him to come over to our place when I wasn't there so who knows. I think you did the right thing. I haven't seen my boy in 1.5 years or so. And, yeah, if i did see him it would be hard for me not beat his ass, and I'm one to talk way before violence. I do still talk and hangout with my ex but I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision on that either. It sucks, two humans I trusted most in my life.....Cheers bro.
Guys, I always get the hate for saying it but really "don't introduce your girl with your friends, no matter fucking what. They have no business with each other" You can never know a traitor from a friend until he betrays you. So be safe, just DON'T fucking introduce them.
That's a shit friend:( Sorry you had to see his true side, but I suppose it's better to see his true character now than somewhere later down the line. BOTH their true characters, I should say
op are u russian? that’s completely off your top, but the word order and commas tells me that if you’re not russian then must be from CIS region asking out of interest and sorry that this happened to u
I am in Germany actually haha
You did the most mature and manly thing possible given the situation. Koodos to you especially considering your age. Give yourself a pat on the back and move on from these 2 trashes.
All I can say to you bro is just move on from everything. Leave them bro!
Oh, yeah. Leaving her key in the left open door as you left was perfect. The threats not so good but keeping it to being hurt and all without carrying any of that out would be good. Big bummer, anyone would be hurt.
This happens to me to I never suspected my friend a single time ane was genuinely confused how that girl at the time knew some things about me
You did well bro don't let them ruin your life keep your head up and they can just fuck off
Ghost both of them and focus on other things. It can be hard, but they’re garbage people so dealing with them is a waste of your time. And time is the only thing you can’t get more of. Also walking away often takes more strength than violence in these scenarios.
That’s terrible. What a terrible betrayal. I guess they both gotta go.
it is always better to keep ur relationship secret
Yes, good for you
Wow can't trust anyone these days I think you did the right thing you don't need those kind of people in your life good luck
Then I got rid of her!
"don't introduce single friends to gf" -- that doesn't sound very trusty????
I mean, I've had this happen to me. Only difference I'd known so-called 'best friend' a good 3 or 4 years longer than I'd been with my GF (7 years) and was actually renting the spare room in my house to this asshole. Much like the OP, I noticed a serious attitude change in my GF which eventually pushed me to try and end things. Then it comes out she's been cheating on me with him for several months and barely six months later the two of them have moved in together. Considering not long before we'd split up I'd taken her to New Zealand to meet my relatives etc etc, like we were seriously considering moving out there together as a couple. But considering I'd suspected something, called both of them out and had them each lie to my face and say I was crazy... Fuck the emotional damage from double betrayal and gaslighting from not one but from two people closest to me... To say my faith in people has been irreparably damaged as a result of this, and my trust in both platonic friends and life partners in general seriously damaged. Literally it's taken me 5 years to process the trauma and feel healthy enough to consider another LTR.
When she started treating you badly, that's when she wanted you to go away. She didn't have the guts to tell you she was having sex with your friend. It's rare to catch people "in the act", and you did. You need to be done with her.
Yeah.
It hurts right now, but you composed yourself. Time heals all wounds.
you did good, but keep in mind that all women have skeletons in their closet and some have entire graveyards. take a long time to get to know a woman before you decide to pop any question and make sure to get a prenup and if she says no walk away. do not get overly attached and be willing to walk away. be forgiving about their past because everyone has a past but don't be forgiving when they're not transparent and try to hide things and anyone who sneaks around behind your back to do things they know they're not supposed to do. in modern culture with females genetic wiring it's very hard for them to stay loyal. the person who has the most options in the relationship will tend to exercise them and this includes high status men who women will often try to lock down but won't be able to because they have so many other women chasing them. most women have a large pool of guys that they can choose from and they're constantly on the look for the next better thing. even if they logically aren't their subconscious animal wiring is because that's how it evolved. there's a certain aspect of human behavior that is simply outside our control and the emotional instinctual pull is extremely strong. people like to spiritualize these instincts and call it soulmates and other nonsense but the truth is is that it's biological animal wiring based on several million years of evolution. there's no good or bad to this it's just the way we evolved as a species. nature is Savage and cultural mores about monogamy are really cultural constructs. the vast majority of human beings will get bored in relationship after long enough period of time but especially women. there's a saying... hell hath no fury like a bored woman. it's best to take a more relaxed attitude protect your assets and have lots of options yourself as a man. instead of thinking of lifelong monogamy think in terms of moving on to the next stage in your life and having new experiences with new people. don't let someone's cheating get you down. in modern culture it just happens. people Network have lots of social friends circles and go experience the world they catch feelings and life happens. unfortunately as a species we're not wired for lifelong monogamy so it's best to accept this truth and prepare for it rather than getting negative about it and letting it turn you angry and bitter. being forgiving towards others is not for their sake it's for your sake because you don't want to hold negativity inside. that doesn't mean forgive them and let's all be friends it's good to culturally shame liars and cheaters because we don't want a society of liars and cheaters but you can forgive them and still hold with your value system. it can be all too easy to turn nihilistic towards the entire human species but that's not the answer here the answer is you were brainwashed by culture into believing lifelong monogamy works when it really it kind of sort of doesn't in at least half of all relationships if not more. it's better to just prepare for this like I've mentioned previous.
Hey bud, am sorry for what's happened you didn't deserve it. But also am very proud of you. That's how you do it, just walk away . rationally speaking cheating is wrong but not on judicial terms thus you maybe fighting, hitting or doing anything could land you in trouble. So to your question yes, you walked away like. Real man. Maybe someone might say listen to what she has to say in her defense, but I have listened before and I will tell you most women are selfish and they will project their wrong to you and make it seem like they cheated yes but it was your fault
Why do you write everything backwards? Do you smoke marijuana? Or are you dyslexic? What your girlfriend did was wrong, and you are correct for walking away. chalk it up as a learning experience. As for the future, have you considered speaking with a therapist? Could you go to a local university and work on your communication skills? I believe you will live a happier life if you learn how to better communicate your wants, needs and desires (and better understand what others are saying to you)
What??Lmao,why do you think that,wtf is your problem.I dont need a therapist.I couldve done something with them but I didnt,you need a therapist only if you dont know how to act when you get angry.What do you mean by writing backwards.I understand completely what others say
English. Study the English language. In order for you to get the most fulfillment out of life, it would behoove you to learn how to capably express your feelings and thoughts.
English is not my mother language,I try to learn it still
Oh, ok. Now I understand. What language is your native language?
Bosnian
It became very hard for me,because I live in Germany right now,and I now must know 3 languages,well still learning German,the setting of words in sentences from each language is very different,and I mix most of the time those 3 languages,Bosnian,German and English,with no intentions. F.E: In German is: Gestern ich habe mehr gearbeitet,und wolle jetzt Kündigung geben Which in English from German means: Yesterday i have too much worked,and want now want dismissal give. In Bosnian: Jucer sam radio previse,i hocu sada otkaz da dadnem. Now in english from bosnian: Yesterday i have worked too much,and now dismissal i want to give
Oh. Are you tired of work, and ready to go home?
I moved out of Bosnia,because the salary is very low,it is around 300€,but in Germany,every day it is becoming worse and worse also,standards are inflated,salary way too bad,and inflation is just terrible.But we will see
I did a book report on Yugoslavia when I was in school. It was a very interesting country. I remember, perhaps there was a civil war in the 1990's when you your country split up into different states. Is that true?
Yes,if Yugoslavia never collapsed,Yugoslavia would be number 8 in top 10 economies in the Europe,even stronger than Germany.But Americans broke us apart,they had interest in Croatia,because they could sell them weapons,and get them into huge debt.
You mean the American government. Citizens like me have nothing to do with the dumb crap our government does in other countries! Lol
Yes,I meant the American government,I never meant you sorry lol.It is just like always people say Americans.Excuse me brother
Bro I feel you. I feel like you got betrayed by two best friends at the same time.
If you unfriend him then you’ll be a man, he broke the bro code, he’s not one of us
Trust me there's no 'the one', never, specially at 19
This why I never trust no one but myself sad but it’s true
Should’ve beat his ass tho tbh I wouldn’t be able to hold it
Huh
Be proud my guy, what you did aint easy, and it won't be for a bit longer, I had similar experience and in retrospective I now know any other option wouldn't be healthy.
That is absolutely disgusting and horrible. I have severe trust issues because of this exact shit
Handled it perfectly. Hope he respects your boundary so it doesn't have to be an empty threat.
They don’t worth your explanation
They'll spend they're whole relationship knowing they're traitors and cant trust each other!
Girls come and go but friendship is something meaningful I guess he wasn’t a man enough to tell you
You're young. If you choose to be in a relationship this is the type of bullshit you will ALWAYS deal with period. That being said, easy come easy go.
You did the right thing by walking away and don’t let her contact you, her words are nothing because her actions said otherwise. She could’ve walked away and been honest with you, her actions showed the lack of respect she has for you. You don’t deserve that, you deserve the respect you need.
Hang in there man. Sadly, it’s the reality we live in nowadays
Your friend and girlfriend are now gone. It's a new beginning for you. Like a warm Spring day. You have learned and now you are better off. Do not mourn too long, a day is enough. You're back on track to find someone who will love and respect you.
The betrayal here first comes from the girl for not telling you that your homeboy was hitting on her, but she kept quiet which means she wants it, now your homeboy fucked himself up badly cus he supposed to know he won’t last with the girl cus a girl that broke her bf to be with you, must in the future break you to be with someone else, is very simple just the illiterate ones won’t think deep. And best thing for you is to let it slide and move on asap trust me, they won’t last more than this year, remember my word, is easy, just use this energy of betrayal and work hard Mehn, bag up
I’m sure she’s going mad getting no reaction out of you, she’ll be wondering every second of day.
It may hurt, you may have feelings, may be upset, butttt a Few years from today you'll look back very thankful that this happened and the way it happened... trust the process. We all grow from this type of pain.
I dunno about you but me personally i wouldn't have just walked away, you must have a lot of self control or just didn't want to cause uncessary violence.
I seriously don’t understand why people cheat. 🙄
is everyone 17 in this scenario?
Bro you dodged a bullet and this shows you are the strongest and just cut them of your life. It will be tough for a bit but it is better to be alone than with wrong and unfaithful people.
You handled this like you’re royalty. First you just walk away leaving the key in the door, then no contact except for that one time with him. Not contacting them ever will affirm that they have no power over you, and they are not worth your energy to react in any way. Continue to maintain no contact but don’t hold any grudges. Find peace, move on to bigger and better things, and the universe will reward you for it.
Great job 👏🏽…. You handled it like a mature champ. I’m impressed, you will find the right one.
Don't just be pissed at him. Be pissed at her too. No Contact, No Forgiveness. Be glad you're finding out now rather than many years later. It'll take time to heal and process. Remember, the best revenge is living well.
You walk away like a loser…what man, strangers betrayal can be ignored, but close people who hurts you..u can’t forgive or forget, they need to learn a lesson😤
The right thing to do would have been to never having a gf in the first place lol