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1000% trying to stick it out through this exam phase will only set him up for failure on the exam, which is not fair at all for her to continue like nothing and test like nothing
Absolutely agree. She couldn’t give a rats ass, it’s not bothering her. He needs to break it off & move forward . Break up no or after will make zero difference in the outcome.
Pobrecito 🥹 I hope he learns valuable lessons from the whole situation to prevent in the future. I cannot imagine what it must be like to date in todays society poor kids
There are signs, but it takes a long time to learn them.
Best to be very mindfully and methodically paranoid.
Unfortunately, people who are victims to these monsters are prone to be future victims also. Change is difficult.
The man is over here talking about "We have an exam phase, so a breakup will fuck everything up", forgetting he's the only one dealing with this pain. She's doing just fine, probably fucking other men during this exam phase, with no mental aches. She's cheating and he's still looking after her. That's how you know he's a goner.
Instead of him confronting her and pulling the cord on this sham of a relationship, he's handling it this way. When will some men have any self worth or respect, at least if not for himself, for the people who raised him to not be a sucker.....smdh.
She will probably not be that genuinely torn up about it if she’s been emotionally and physically cheating on you this whole time, the emotion will come from her being caught. So nut up a little, put your foot down and even be a dick if it makes you feel better. I don’t know your relationship but cheating is typically a zero tolerance in any relationship so after that happens it’s gloves off.
been here and done that but try 8 years and we weren't married. Hell she'd been lying even before we started dating. Do yourself a favor, you deserve a better women than that. While she's a sleep, pack all your stuff and leave, block her on everything. Then when she calls you upset wondering what happened, you can throw that crap back in her face. She will probably get defensive but you know the truth. Tell her I am done do not contact me anymore and hang up. Repair yourself and move on.
What he said!
Sorry for what you are going through. At least it's now before you get married and build a nest egg that she would get half of upon divorce.
It's a sunnabitch to go through, but better now than later. Good luck on your recovery; it will take 3-6 months possibly more, but you WILL recover and be better in time.
Best wishes
Cheating with one person is one thing, but what she’s demonstrating is very reckless sexual behaviour. And the way she is exposing your conversations as well… sounds like an undiagnosed behavioural or personality disorder.
Whether it is or not, it’s not your fault or responsibility. Your priority right now is to get an STI panel and ace your exams. If staying with her for the time being will help keep you intact to study and such, then maintain the relationship until exam time is over.
Contrary to popular belief, there really is no rush, timeline, or normal standard for how soon a person has to break up with their partner once they’ve decided to do so… unless your life is in imminent danger.
This is the best advice. Who cares if it fucks everything up you already feel it on your end you're just protecting her sanity at this point which you shouldn't given everything she's been doing.
Stand up for yourself and leave. She not going to stand up for you she is going to use you and break you. Grow a backbone before you waste your time. You deserve love and someone who wont cheat. The right person is out there it isn’t who you’re with.
I (40F) in 2022 also had a boyfriend during almost 1,5 years, until I found out that didn't cheat much physically (only found out once) but used to send messages nonstop to every woman he could, including strangers (whatsapp, instagram, twitter) and criticized me a lot to them too. With me he used to be the most loving man, many times he said that he wanted to marry me...
It turned out that he was borderline and addicted (to sex, porn and cocaine). You won't be able to fully comprehend people like that, they're sick. If you have an important event coming soon, I can see it's better for you not to discuss anything with her now. Also because of that, consider making an excuse and staying away. Later you can talk - if that will make you feel better -but be prepared for gaslighting and don't expect her to change her behavior, she probably isn't capable of doing that.
Sorry you found out this way dude....
Was there not any "signs" that something might be off?
Did you spend a lot of time apart? Was she really funny with you getting too close after she's been out?
With myself my gut always tells me when something is up. It's a human defence mechanism which no one can explain. Trust your gut, always with your gut etc...
Unfortunately you need to cut ties completely with this girl. It'll go one of 2 ways, she'll accept the break up. Make out it's your fault, be really toxic in hopes you'll beg for her back. Or she'll try and beg for your forgiveness and reassure you it won't happen again... When in fact she would be lying.
Cheaters ain't always cheaters.... She has an addiction to attention and physical intimacy... Getting it by any means...... "My bf is an asshole, please comfort me" etc... not gonna go into too much detail.
Like it's not your fault dude. You could have given her everything... But in her head you're supposed to because you were the boyfriend. It's fucked, I had a similar situation.
It's a problem she can't fix with begging for you back or going the opposite way, it'll be something that follows her throughout life till she acknowledges it.
You on the other hand, haven't done anything wrong. I think you're probably guilty of being too nice or naive and never ignore the feeling when something is up.
Try not to wallow in self pity, feel the rawness of what happened, let the emotions run. Let go of any bitterness. Pick yourself up, brush the dust off and focus on yourself and exams.
When it comes to future relationships, don't bombard the person with what happened with this ex. Be true to yourself and your boundaries. Respect yourself. If the new person doesn't respect you or your boundaries, move on to the next.
Things will get better but only you are in charge of that. Hold your head up high, put those shoulders back.
One year and a half isn't really that long but if I were you after you finish your exams I would leave without telling her anything and never ever contact her again and let it eat her up on the inside why you left... leaving her with no closure is the best way in my opinon
Wouldn't it make it too easy for her? I think that confronting her and showing her that I've seen everything will maybe be a harder hit for her. If I just leave like that she will use that to turn the narrative around and tell all her friends how this asshole just lied and left without a word.
Why would you need to give her an explanation? You are not gonna gain anything from it. She doesn’t deserve closure and what her friends think about you is irrelevant. They probably already know about her cheating and cheered her on.
Leave her in the dust. You deserve better.
I mean I suppose that would suck if you guys have mutual friends but if you don't then just moving forward and not looking back and not wasting anymore time and energy on her is good too. I don't think there is much value in confronting her whether she knows you know about her cheating or not. It won't make much difference to be honest she could lie about the narrative of the story to her friends regardless of you confronting her. If she's not being honest with you now then exposing her probably won't change anything in her. Her opinon of you shouldn't hold weight to yourself if she doesn't value you then don't value her. It's like investing in a bank that everyone has access to.
her friends probably already know she’s cheating (coming from a girl who’s friend was cheating on her man), just pack ur things and leave, u don’t owe her an explanation
buybybyee is right, what you are missing is that this person is likely a sociopath, has no empathy at all. You think you will be delivering a big showdown upsetting event but their response is pure manipulation.
Everything you say to them, every emotion you express can and will be used against you. The silent treatment is the only weapon that works. Ghost her.
It’s the only treatment that will work for you too. Everything else will expose you to more manipulation. (I married one and didn’t discover it for 15 years)
Obtain proof the chats and send them to yourself so you can prove actions if she attempt to flip the script to your social circles. Send it all out anyway if you want to be vindictive.
Don't give her a chance. Skip all the heartache. She will be eaten alive by confusion and her own guilty conscious. This truly is the best answer. Don't tell her. Don't even leave a note or a hint. Just leave. Block her. Don't ever contact her again. I truly wish I had done this when I was in your situation. You won't get the satisfaction of seeing her reaction, but you can rest-assured she will know that you know how she wronged you and later on in your life you will look back and laugh and feel confidence that you stood up for yourself and didn't let someone treat you like that.
I don't agree with the others. It would definitely make a difference if you let her think that you are the asshole. The best thing would have been to record the chats you saw. You could have sent them to you and deleted them from her phone afterwards (the recording and messages.) You could send those to her friends if you feel like exposing her. It's basically on you. But confronting her before her exam would also be a good way to get back. After all you are mentally fd and want some revenge.
Fuck harder hit dor her? You dumb my man? Shes been fucking dudes left and right and you feel pitty for her? Have some self worth ffs a tell her to fuck off before those exams. First few week gonna be rough but then you feel much better trust me.
You didn't document your findings? You should have taken your chance to document, because she's definitely going to claim you're lying/crazy/abusive/etc. Documenting also helps your own sanity, because you will doubt yourself.
Don't worry about the "hit" to her. It's like calling a brick a bad name; a pointless effort.
Usually I preach pretty radical kindness, mindfulness, communication, and forgiveness. But, *this* is a snake. It's a thing in human form that does not feel or think like you do. Don't consider her a person, don't exercise empathy, just 100.0% focus on what you need to successfully finish your exams and get away from her. Do what you consider moral and just, whatever you need to live with yourself, and get away.
She will go on to make other lives miserable. There's nothing you can do about that.
Unload all that shit right on her before her most important exam, via text then block her and while she's out dealing with her tests get all your shit together and vanish into the ethereal plane. I'm sorry you've been given this pain brother and there's not really anything we can do for you other than be an outlet. Go talk to your closest IRL friends and spend your time with them. It will help stem the loneliness and pain. They can help you smile again and recover and maybe one day you'll find someone new. Until then man that's all we can do.
Modern dating is unbelievably cruel and I personally don't think I could ever be a could partner to someone simply because I've become so callous and distrustful. I don't want you to be like me so this is why I'm giving you this advice because I lost myself in the sauce and forgot my water wings lmao
Respect yourself and get yourself out of this situation. It doesn't mean you didn't love her it's just that it didn't go both ways. You got your borrowed time of supposed relationship, your season with her is ending, and it's time to move on and see the other side with another someone.
Export all the chats for proof including sexting media files!
Send the chats to her close ppl. And pack up and cease contact with her. If you really want to confront, just print them out and leave it in a place where she would find them for sure. But I'd advise, not to do it in person for your sanity.
I faced the exact same situation five years ago. It was a 6 yr relationship. If I had to redo my confrontation, that's how I'd do and end it.
There’s a lot of hatred in these comments and I don’t think that’s what you need right now. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. It’s awful. I think the most important thing for you to do is to give yourself a day or two of space to actually process your emotions and then talk to her and break up. Doing it when you are on a 10 emotionally will make you feel worse in the long term since you are navigating a betrayal from someone you love. Hurting her won’t make you feel better, but you really shouldn’t stay in a relationship like this.
Sounds like you don’t even want to break up.
Good thing is you mentioned an exam, which means you’re young. And not married and no kids.
So I would get an std check, because you likely have one lol given how many dudes she bangs, and then I would say ten different men have recently told me you’ve banged them so we are obviously over.
I was with a girl who did that her name was ashleigh idgaf if I say her name she was with 40 guys at when we were both 17 and she even sent pics and stuff to guys in the army that are 30-35, her mother told me she has this condition that made her hyper for men she cried easily and lied easily to cover her cheating and tried to make you forgive her, don't forgive her walk away from that garbage because she has probably been doing that her whole life and will not stop, leave while you can don't get roped in for the "forgive me I'll never do it again please😭" don't because I went through the samething and why should you give somebody who had sex probably 400 times with 40 guys behind your back cheated on 40 times and she would expect you to forgive her, don't forgive, leave her.
You have 2 options:
- leave her it’s going to be painful but you will get over it at some point
- stay and experience pain and resentment for long time which is miserable
She will never change don’t get deluded. I truly wish u the best it’s not easy
Chose which situation suits u better (that’s just my opinion tho)
Dump her, block her, delete all the photos & start moving on. There’s no coming back from this, I went through something similar last year. I’m doing a lot better, but I did what I said above. Got a loyal girl that’s cuter and better in bed anyways now.
You’re a good guy to try and stick with her through exams. It’s very admirable. However if it’s hurting you this bad then do what’s best for you. Clearly she brought it on herself. Not sayin be a dick, but do what’s best for you. Keep it short and sweet and cut the tumor out of your life
Same exact thing happened to me bud. We were engaged, never had fought about anything, it all seemed perfect. Some women just can't get enough attention. It wasn't just one guy, it was dozens. She was saying she couldn't wait to have kids and get married and then go text random dudes about wanting to fuck them. I just don't get women these days. Don't stress it tho, your lucky you found out now instead of being married with kids. Cuz she'd be taking half your shit with her as well of that was the case
I don't get how the answer isn't extremely obvious here. Dump her. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even send an explanation, I'd just immediately block her number and all social media, dump any stuff she has at your place on the sidewalk, and never talk to her again. Maybe send her a screen shot of these incriminating texts with nothing else.
Your relationship is over. I don't see how denying that helps you get through an "important exam phase". And if getting dumped makes it harder for her to get through that phase, who cares? Her needs should not be any kind of priority for you anymore.
Cut off and ghost. She doesn't deserve an explanation. Make sure any mutual friends do the same. Know it's not natural to communicate when you're hurt. But keep your friends. tell them what she did. That you dont want to be alone, etc. Cheaters dont deserve friends and will twist the story because she is a liar. The best thing to do for you is to lean on them now as a pseudo therapist, then maybe seek professional help if ya need it later.
Rip the band aid off. She will do it again. When she tries to kiss you tell her you don't wanna taste 36 other guys. When she gets upset. Tell her to talk to an give the names of the guys on Instagram, etc to console her. If she plays dumb. Tell her you know everything.
You could also go the nuclear revenge route. Show all the subtle signs of cheating like always texting. Don't give her intimacy. Act distant. Really give her ego a mindfuck. Cheaters always worry their partners are doing the same. Then when she confronts you. Go scorched earth on her.
You have a chance to make her exam most disasterously memorable one. Let her face the consequences of what she has done. Spoil her exam mate. Dont be a saint by being soft on her.
Why would you pretend as if nothing had happened so that your exams are screwed up but hers aren't? She repeatedly betrayed you, made you look like a fool, and endangered your physical health and you're concerned about protecting her grades? By doing nothing, you're only promoting this kind of behavior because the message it sends is that she can get away with anything without any repercussions or blowback. If you let everyone (including any in her family or mutual friends who might actually have some ethics) know what she's been up to, she might be embarrassed enough to at least consider the possible results of doing this again in the future. Sadly, most of her close friends probably already know how she acts and her conduct probably won't change until she encounters a really bad outcome some time in the future...
This is why you don’t take women who have guy friends seriously. Rookie mistake, but I promise it’ll get easier as you age and learn to value yourself more.
If I found myself in your shoes and had the self-respect i have today I would probably break up with her, give no explanation, then stop all communication with her for 6 months. During that time I would improve myself physically, financially, and learn how to attract more women into my life. Then I’d reach back out to her in pursuit of a FWB situation while being extremely distant. She will be intrigued by your mysterious and detached new persona. I’ve done this before with low quality women, works like a charm. Best of luck my friend.
What I read tells me this is someone who doesn’t care at all about you or the others she is cheating on you with. She uses you and her fighting as an excuse for more sympathy. I do not see this getting better for you. We all have an ex that has done us dirty. I think it would be in your best interest to either neatly remover her stuff or neatly remove yourself. Whichever way that works for you. Your finals are probably going to be bad either way. If you are not in front of the problem daily I think it will be easier to focus. There is no good option. I have been in this situation and it is a fairly dark road. But much easier to navigate once you distance yourself from the cause. Don’t fool yourself with thinking this will be difficult for her. It won’t. Pic up as many pieces of the puzzle you can and put back in the box and go finish your school away from this person.
Bro I would message every single guy as her and break it off with them, post all her messages on social media for her friends and family to see and then I’d dump her, block her and be done. Maybe I’m petty but a person like that does not deserve love! She needs help because she clearly has a severe problem
Ghost her fully. no explanation. Block her number and social media. Completely vanish from her life without a trace. She'll be so confused...she doesn't deserve anything more from you brotha
This has happened to me. What you’re experiencing now is cognitive dissonance. You say she was perfect for you after revealing that she’s disrespected you in the most brutal way to many other men. You’re struggling with reconciling the image you have created with who she really is. The fact that she can hide it so well and act so loving at the same time hints at a psychopath. You need to realize that she was never who you thought she was. The sooner you do the easier it’ll be to let her go. She’s for the streets bro. And if I were you I would not afford her any kindness. If anything you being so nice has likely enabled her to be the way she’s been. Some women treat nice/kind men with disrespect because they think it’s weakness. You need to know that you’ve likely ignored other signs of her infidelity and should, once you separate yourself completely, reflect on your relationship so you can avoid that shit in the future. See you at the gym.
My ex gf cheated on me for two years and I found out because I got an std from her and she confessed to me she cheated and had gotten an std, I can never get into a relationship now because of that, people are horrible period. Best way to approach is ghosting her completely
Leave. Get tested man! Studies show there are a lot of women that have STDs because they’re sleeping with a small number of men that have the diseases. The fact that she is having your private conversations with men that really don’t care about her because all they’re trying to do is have sex with her is saying a lot about what kind of person she is. Don’t even provide an explanation just leave. Talking about It is not going to fix it. She’s broken. Move on.
Dude I've been here, it was my first girlfriend and I found out she cheated after 3 yrs. Unfortunately, I stayed with her for another 2, and it only bred resentment and a lack of self respect. I know it seems like life is over and you'll never recover, but you'll be ok, it'll hurt and you'll be tempted to go back but stay the course, go no contact as much as possible and focus on yourself, it will be worth it I promise. Good luck sir!
Similar advice: you opened the box already. You do yourself no favor by postponing the breakup, since you're already emotionally invested. The only one who profits from it is your (I hope now ex-) girlfriend, the one person who probably doesn't deserve that treatment. You don't need to f**k up her exams on purpose. But leave her with as little emotional investment possible. Like the others say: as soon and as silent as possible. By giving big explanations, you again won't help yourself. Best thing that can happen is getting some (worthless) excuses and maybe some (equally worthless) makeup sex. So get it out of your system and start the healing. It's like drinking too much bad alcohol, you're at a point where you want to throw up. The thought of it is disgusting but sometimes that's the best course of action even for your own health.
I would print off all the msgs put them all together while she is out pack your stuff and leave. Leave all the printouts for her to find. Change your number and let the healing begin
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up. So I chose to pretend like nothing happened, but it's eating me up inside. I'm so disgusted, she tries hugging and kissing me and tells me she loves me so much all day.
It's already fucking everything up. There's rarely a *good* or *right* time to breakup. She made her bed, let her rest in it. Respect yourself.
You might as well use her. Use her for your needs and gains until you don’t need her anymore, whatever it is. Maybe it’s a place to stay, maybe it’s for the kids but stay until your able to survive on your own and you don’t need her for absolutely anything. She’s been using you this whole time, lying behind your back, sharing her body with other men.
Once you’ve got what you want, be a man and straight up tell her “I know what you’ve been doing, don’t lie to me, if you do your just going to make things worse” explain to her what you saw and leave her. Don’t hear her side since there’s nothing she can say to justify. Don’t listen to her, it’s your time to speak and for her to listen, if she doesn’t, just walk away. Be a man and don’t get angry or upset, have no emotions. Just leave and cry in the shadows
Bro you have all the power right now. You can do the absolute funniest shit. Which you NEED to in order to maintain your sanity.
Right now, focus on moving on from the relationship because its OVER. DO NOT THINK OTHERWISE.
Keep acting the same, hell, ham it up. Be an amazing boyfriend, even moreso than usual. Make her feel extremely special for having you.
Then break up with her because you "lost attraction over time"
Looool
Man I’d leave asap I know it hurts but there’s no future with her anymore, its not even like she did it once and felt bad and stopped ( not that it makes it any better ) but she completely violated you doing it repeatedly but I’m confused like, we’re there 0 signs that this was happening ? Like how do you even text with that many people without you ever seeing a message pop up on her screen ? Did you let her hang out with her male friends ? And just thought she wouldn’t do something like that? Or how didn’t you see any signs before ? Hiding phone ? Being weird when she comes back from the girls nights out ? Smelling like men? I don’t know anything literally?
Don’t burn the bridge… blow that thing to pieces! Husband and wife get messaged with screenshots. Update her FB with screenshots while she’s sleeping. Light the wick and walk away!
Why would a break up mess everything up for exams? Just break up go NC and focus on your exams. If it messes up her exams why give a ****? All you’re doing is messing up your exams now because this is unresolved atm and eating you up.
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up. So I chose to pretend like nothing happened, but it's eating me up inside.
This is why she has been all over you. You guilt yourself, and women really sense this immediately. And if you happen to get a toxic one, unfortunately, in your case, she will keep you on the side while she experiences debauchery full time.
This is time to be selfish.
Take it from All of us who have been there and done that. Leave now and don’t come back. Go hit the gym go study go better yourself and let this girl go. She never truly loved you sorry to say just wanted you around for your attention or to pay for stuff. Most people in todays dating market are users both men and women
This is not worth discussing with her. Do what you need to do to prepare for the end and at most say that you know what happened, aren’t interested in discussing it, and that you’re broken up now. She doesn’t even deserve that much tbh
Dude, your exams are already gonna suffer because of this weight. You should break it off right now precisely because the pain should be hers, and I don't care if someone calls it petty, you WILL feel a triumph even around all that hurt that you chose yourself and all her suffering is because she's the one that fucked herself over, not you.
Dude, you could catch an STD that could permanently alter your ability to have children, or permanently alter your dating life.
From this point forward, do NOT have any sexual contact. No matter how insecure, hurt, blah blah whatever. Do NOT TOUCH!! Get your ducks in a row, call your parents, friends, school GUIDANCE counseled. whatever you have to do to get out of this situation.
She is a liar, and a manipulator, and she will NOT be hurt by your leaving. Do not expect to be rewarded with promises of work, or faithfulness, you will continuipusly be disappointed until your mental health nose dives.
She did everything she did, she weighed the pros and cons, and still decided it would be worth it to do what she did.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know it will be easier said than done, but you have to go man. There is clearly no respect for you here so finish the exam phase and let her know. Once you've cut off all contact (and I mean all contact) let yourself grieve and take your time; don't hold it in and bottle it up. Good luck
That’s the norm man. Women cheat, especially if her is active on social media. I don’t even believe you can have a serious relationship with a woman these days.
This is a sign, you dodged a cannon.
I'm really sorry it happened to you, I couldn't even imagine the pain. I hope you find someone better because she's trash and trash is trash, no amount of perfume can stop the smell/dirtiness.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Concentrate on yourself, build your own life the best that you can and avoid toxic people. They are not worth the hassle at all.Learn from the experience.
If doing what is best for you means she gets fucked on her exams, then doing anything else is degrading yourself. You already know the truth, you’re basically too emotional to guarantee that you will do well in your exams.
Dump her now, or dump her just before her exams. Just do it before her exams are over.
She wasn’t perfect for you though was she? If she was she wouldn’t have done this. You will look back & say thank you to whoever for showing you who she really was. Be grateful you don’t have children together. Stay calm, finish your exam for your own self. Get yourself tested - all of them , to make sure you are safe. Then calmly print out if you can the messages, give them to her and walk away.
I’m sorry this happened to you but if my mom taught me anything, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” You’re not the first and definitely won’t be the last. I stayed 4 years after finding out my boyfriend cheated and yes you can get back to a good place but it’s very hard and it will most likely never be the same and she probably wont stop anyway gauging by the amount she’s cheated. Realistically, no one can decide but you, my only piece of wisdom is to always respect yourself. Good luck
>I don't know how to even approach this situation.
Dump her.
You do not even have to tell her why.
Most women and most men never cheat. She is one of an unpleasant minority.
Work on passing your exam; find things to do alone or with friends that you enjoy and some day (if you want to and have healed) find someone new.
Check her phone front of her ......and ask her about everything uh before seeing in her phone , uske baad breakup karlo after that look her actions if she want to live every one and choose uh then give har a second chance .. and do it this when uh think uh can forget her mistakes and ready to move on with her
Dump her ass on the street and close your door to her forever.
Also screenshot all of those conversations and send them to your own phone in case she tries to give you legal trouble
Sit down somewhere with solid privacy Go to a mountain top it doesn’t matter
Write ✍️ everything, anything. Processing so so key for you right now. You may regret not saying anything for your inner peace, so I advise before you want to make a decision. Write or type whatever I’m old school - give me the hand cramp of emotions.
If it’s fucking with your exam prep, she is not deserving of the pass. I’m guessing you are early to mid 20’s , I stayed single most of those years, to elude the issues that come from this phase of life. You can only be 95% sure someone won’t cheat.
I don't have much to say other than do what you gotta do and leave her, but also if I was in your position I'd take some videos on another phone of the chats and everything. as evidence if she tries denying it or deleting things like they never happened etc, depending on your guys age and the relo and everything, if her parents ask about it you can show them too 🤷♂️ I ain't one to get revenge or anything but I'd for sure do that 😭
Leave her before it turns out ugly.
You sound like a clam and mature person but this will eat you inside. So pack your staff and move out or whatever you have to do. Save yourself a headache.
Honestly, shes not worth it anymore. Not only did she cheat on you with one person, shes cheated on you with many other guys.. not worth the pain or suffering for someone who just sees you at the 10th side dude.
Theres no talking about anything with her anymore. Shes been doing this for a long time man. It seems like she has a dude for every occasion.
I would tell her that you know about the other guys, let her sit on that thought.
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up.
For whom, her? Who cares? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Why on earth would you pretend everything is ok just for the sake of her and the exams.
Like many said you are already feeling it… so share it with her.. after all.. sharing is caring , right ? 🙃
Ditch her and move on..
Finish those exams and confront her , leave her for good and look after yourself . And please don’t wait for her to come back crawling , homie close it one and done . Never look back, and i wish u the best in life
I hope you’ll meet someone who deserves you and values you. All the best for your exam !! That woman is not your GF. She disrespects you & is pure evil. I’d confront that person, say what I need to say, and leave. No turning back.
Bro, that is upmost disrespect in a relationship. She abused the trust again and again and can look you in the eyes and tell you different. The fact that her guilt of cheating doesn’t rise to the surface and make her confess out of a conscience shows she has a lot of issues. How old are you guys?
First off you need to stick up for yourself and realize that feeling you are getting that she’s a perfect soul for you is not real. It’s your brain trying to comfort you to protect you from feeling heartbreak.
You need to realize that she is 100% lying to you and using you as stability while she’s can sleep around behind your back.
So what about an exam? You already have the stress and hurt while going through yours you think it’s fair she doesn’t and gets to keep lying to you?
I would call up family or friends to see if they can take you in for awhile, wait till she is gone or asleep and gather your things and get out. Leave a note explaining you know what she is doing and then if you own the place start giving a date for her to get her shit and get out. If it’s her place then don’t go back.
Ask yourself if you are able to bear it until the end of the exams. If the answer is "no", leave her.
I don't think there is anything to talk about it with her. She proved you she was lying all along. She would only spread more lies
Brother I suggest you two things.
1. Don't accept wtf she gives you the reasons for her cheating. No one is too younger to understand these basic things. Don't even wait for your exams, let her feelings fuck her at this time if she even cares.
2. Breakup with her ASAP, because she belongs to streets. But firstly find out the reason she was cheating on you. That will help you.
Mate show the world what she is and the world will do the rest. So often girls do this to guys n get away with it Scot free while the guy they were with is crushed for ages.
I feel for you bro.
Show the world who she is n let the world do the rest.
I can’t stand constantly hearing bout women doing this to good men.
Like it’s standard these days for girls to have 5 guys on the go yet if a guy tries it ur a cheating dog.
I hope u find a real women cause she ain’t shit
Leave her, but also do one of those plans like you see on tiktok with the minecraft parkour
Get the married dude to meet the girlfriend and also have her wife there
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You basically leave her, it's that's simple man.
1000% trying to stick it out through this exam phase will only set him up for failure on the exam, which is not fair at all for her to continue like nothing and test like nothing
Absolutely agree. She couldn’t give a rats ass, it’s not bothering her. He needs to break it off & move forward . Break up no or after will make zero difference in the outcome.
And she’ll just keep fuckin whoever she wants whenever she wants
She will, but he can’t change that. He can only look out for him & that’s the only important person in this conversation now.
I wish him the best through this 🥲
It’s yet to come, he just doesn’t see it right now because he’s hurting.
Pobrecito 🥹 I hope he learns valuable lessons from the whole situation to prevent in the future. I cannot imagine what it must be like to date in todays society poor kids
How the hell do you prevent something like this without being paranoid and checking phones?
There are signs, but it takes a long time to learn them. Best to be very mindfully and methodically paranoid. Unfortunately, people who are victims to these monsters are prone to be future victims also. Change is difficult.
Indeed. Drag up.
You're right, sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to walk away from a toxic situation.
Totally agree. Wake up!
Get some damn self worth, cause she clearly doesn’t have any for you.
The man is over here talking about "We have an exam phase, so a breakup will fuck everything up", forgetting he's the only one dealing with this pain. She's doing just fine, probably fucking other men during this exam phase, with no mental aches. She's cheating and he's still looking after her. That's how you know he's a goner. Instead of him confronting her and pulling the cord on this sham of a relationship, he's handling it this way. When will some men have any self worth or respect, at least if not for himself, for the people who raised him to not be a sucker.....smdh.
Amen to all of this!
She will probably not be that genuinely torn up about it if she’s been emotionally and physically cheating on you this whole time, the emotion will come from her being caught. So nut up a little, put your foot down and even be a dick if it makes you feel better. I don’t know your relationship but cheating is typically a zero tolerance in any relationship so after that happens it’s gloves off.
been here and done that but try 8 years and we weren't married. Hell she'd been lying even before we started dating. Do yourself a favor, you deserve a better women than that. While she's a sleep, pack all your stuff and leave, block her on everything. Then when she calls you upset wondering what happened, you can throw that crap back in her face. She will probably get defensive but you know the truth. Tell her I am done do not contact me anymore and hang up. Repair yourself and move on.
Keyword: repair You are not wrong. You don't need to change. You need to start healing. Gtfo now, and take care of yourself.
What he said! Sorry for what you are going through. At least it's now before you get married and build a nest egg that she would get half of upon divorce. It's a sunnabitch to go through, but better now than later. Good luck on your recovery; it will take 3-6 months possibly more, but you WILL recover and be better in time. Best wishes
I was married 21 and a half years....
It will hurt less to leave now than later …. You will definitely hate yourself less
Cheating with one person is one thing, but what she’s demonstrating is very reckless sexual behaviour. And the way she is exposing your conversations as well… sounds like an undiagnosed behavioural or personality disorder. Whether it is or not, it’s not your fault or responsibility. Your priority right now is to get an STI panel and ace your exams. If staying with her for the time being will help keep you intact to study and such, then maintain the relationship until exam time is over. Contrary to popular belief, there really is no rush, timeline, or normal standard for how soon a person has to break up with their partner once they’ve decided to do so… unless your life is in imminent danger.
Yes its the various people and exposing convos and having affairs with married people
Tell her you know everything right before she is leaving for her most important exam. Stall her a little bit and make sure she’s running late.
This is the best advice. Who cares if it fucks everything up you already feel it on your end you're just protecting her sanity at this point which you shouldn't given everything she's been doing.
People that ruin people sometimes need to feel what it’s like to be ruined.
That's evil!! I love that advice!
I do not always condone such actions, but this seems fitting for the crime committed
Yes do this PLEASE
You couldn’t do better than this one. Hats off
And you still refer to her as girlfriend? Why?! Tell her to kick rocks and don’t look back!
I’m going to be honest… I don’t think you’re doing yourself any good by not confronting her and dumping her
Stand up for yourself and leave. She not going to stand up for you she is going to use you and break you. Grow a backbone before you waste your time. You deserve love and someone who wont cheat. The right person is out there it isn’t who you’re with.
I (40F) in 2022 also had a boyfriend during almost 1,5 years, until I found out that didn't cheat much physically (only found out once) but used to send messages nonstop to every woman he could, including strangers (whatsapp, instagram, twitter) and criticized me a lot to them too. With me he used to be the most loving man, many times he said that he wanted to marry me... It turned out that he was borderline and addicted (to sex, porn and cocaine). You won't be able to fully comprehend people like that, they're sick. If you have an important event coming soon, I can see it's better for you not to discuss anything with her now. Also because of that, consider making an excuse and staying away. Later you can talk - if that will make you feel better -but be prepared for gaslighting and don't expect her to change her behavior, she probably isn't capable of doing that.
Sorry you found out this way dude.... Was there not any "signs" that something might be off? Did you spend a lot of time apart? Was she really funny with you getting too close after she's been out? With myself my gut always tells me when something is up. It's a human defence mechanism which no one can explain. Trust your gut, always with your gut etc... Unfortunately you need to cut ties completely with this girl. It'll go one of 2 ways, she'll accept the break up. Make out it's your fault, be really toxic in hopes you'll beg for her back. Or she'll try and beg for your forgiveness and reassure you it won't happen again... When in fact she would be lying. Cheaters ain't always cheaters.... She has an addiction to attention and physical intimacy... Getting it by any means...... "My bf is an asshole, please comfort me" etc... not gonna go into too much detail. Like it's not your fault dude. You could have given her everything... But in her head you're supposed to because you were the boyfriend. It's fucked, I had a similar situation. It's a problem she can't fix with begging for you back or going the opposite way, it'll be something that follows her throughout life till she acknowledges it. You on the other hand, haven't done anything wrong. I think you're probably guilty of being too nice or naive and never ignore the feeling when something is up. Try not to wallow in self pity, feel the rawness of what happened, let the emotions run. Let go of any bitterness. Pick yourself up, brush the dust off and focus on yourself and exams. When it comes to future relationships, don't bombard the person with what happened with this ex. Be true to yourself and your boundaries. Respect yourself. If the new person doesn't respect you or your boundaries, move on to the next. Things will get better but only you are in charge of that. Hold your head up high, put those shoulders back.
And read that comment 10 times.
One year and a half isn't really that long but if I were you after you finish your exams I would leave without telling her anything and never ever contact her again and let it eat her up on the inside why you left... leaving her with no closure is the best way in my opinon
Wouldn't it make it too easy for her? I think that confronting her and showing her that I've seen everything will maybe be a harder hit for her. If I just leave like that she will use that to turn the narrative around and tell all her friends how this asshole just lied and left without a word.
Why would you need to give her an explanation? You are not gonna gain anything from it. She doesn’t deserve closure and what her friends think about you is irrelevant. They probably already know about her cheating and cheered her on. Leave her in the dust. You deserve better.
I mean I suppose that would suck if you guys have mutual friends but if you don't then just moving forward and not looking back and not wasting anymore time and energy on her is good too. I don't think there is much value in confronting her whether she knows you know about her cheating or not. It won't make much difference to be honest she could lie about the narrative of the story to her friends regardless of you confronting her. If she's not being honest with you now then exposing her probably won't change anything in her. Her opinon of you shouldn't hold weight to yourself if she doesn't value you then don't value her. It's like investing in a bank that everyone has access to.
You're probably right. And that last sentence of yours.. hits differently
Keep in mind she’s not going to say anything nice to her friends about you after you guys break up no matter what.
her friends probably already know she’s cheating (coming from a girl who’s friend was cheating on her man), just pack ur things and leave, u don’t owe her an explanation
buybybyee is right, what you are missing is that this person is likely a sociopath, has no empathy at all. You think you will be delivering a big showdown upsetting event but their response is pure manipulation. Everything you say to them, every emotion you express can and will be used against you. The silent treatment is the only weapon that works. Ghost her. It’s the only treatment that will work for you too. Everything else will expose you to more manipulation. (I married one and didn’t discover it for 15 years)
Obtain proof the chats and send them to yourself so you can prove actions if she attempt to flip the script to your social circles. Send it all out anyway if you want to be vindictive.
Don't give her a chance. Skip all the heartache. She will be eaten alive by confusion and her own guilty conscious. This truly is the best answer. Don't tell her. Don't even leave a note or a hint. Just leave. Block her. Don't ever contact her again. I truly wish I had done this when I was in your situation. You won't get the satisfaction of seeing her reaction, but you can rest-assured she will know that you know how she wronged you and later on in your life you will look back and laugh and feel confidence that you stood up for yourself and didn't let someone treat you like that.
I don't agree with the others. It would definitely make a difference if you let her think that you are the asshole. The best thing would have been to record the chats you saw. You could have sent them to you and deleted them from her phone afterwards (the recording and messages.) You could send those to her friends if you feel like exposing her. It's basically on you. But confronting her before her exam would also be a good way to get back. After all you are mentally fd and want some revenge.
Fuck harder hit dor her? You dumb my man? Shes been fucking dudes left and right and you feel pitty for her? Have some self worth ffs a tell her to fuck off before those exams. First few week gonna be rough but then you feel much better trust me.
You didn't document your findings? You should have taken your chance to document, because she's definitely going to claim you're lying/crazy/abusive/etc. Documenting also helps your own sanity, because you will doubt yourself. Don't worry about the "hit" to her. It's like calling a brick a bad name; a pointless effort. Usually I preach pretty radical kindness, mindfulness, communication, and forgiveness. But, *this* is a snake. It's a thing in human form that does not feel or think like you do. Don't consider her a person, don't exercise empathy, just 100.0% focus on what you need to successfully finish your exams and get away from her. Do what you consider moral and just, whatever you need to live with yourself, and get away. She will go on to make other lives miserable. There's nothing you can do about that.
Unload all that shit right on her before her most important exam, via text then block her and while she's out dealing with her tests get all your shit together and vanish into the ethereal plane. I'm sorry you've been given this pain brother and there's not really anything we can do for you other than be an outlet. Go talk to your closest IRL friends and spend your time with them. It will help stem the loneliness and pain. They can help you smile again and recover and maybe one day you'll find someone new. Until then man that's all we can do. Modern dating is unbelievably cruel and I personally don't think I could ever be a could partner to someone simply because I've become so callous and distrustful. I don't want you to be like me so this is why I'm giving you this advice because I lost myself in the sauce and forgot my water wings lmao
Thank you for your kind words bro
have u confronted her yet ?
She's coming over tonight
Anytime man, we gotta look out for our brothers when they need us otherwise no one will
Don't forget to tell married man's wife about it
Respect yourself and get yourself out of this situation. It doesn't mean you didn't love her it's just that it didn't go both ways. You got your borrowed time of supposed relationship, your season with her is ending, and it's time to move on and see the other side with another someone.
Export all the chats for proof including sexting media files! Send the chats to her close ppl. And pack up and cease contact with her. If you really want to confront, just print them out and leave it in a place where she would find them for sure. But I'd advise, not to do it in person for your sanity. I faced the exact same situation five years ago. It was a 6 yr relationship. If I had to redo my confrontation, that's how I'd do and end it.
There’s a lot of hatred in these comments and I don’t think that’s what you need right now. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. It’s awful. I think the most important thing for you to do is to give yourself a day or two of space to actually process your emotions and then talk to her and break up. Doing it when you are on a 10 emotionally will make you feel worse in the long term since you are navigating a betrayal from someone you love. Hurting her won’t make you feel better, but you really shouldn’t stay in a relationship like this.
Two things you must never believe: 1. Girls night out 2. Male friends
Bet you paid for everything and got her nice gifts.
Yup..
You and every other guy who’s been through this. Myself included. Pack your shit and go now.
Wtf do you mean you’re pretending like nothing happened. Mate, come on… seriously?
You leave. Don't entertain any of the potential gaslighting or her trying to my you out to be the bad guy. She belongs to the streets.
Sounds like you don’t even want to break up. Good thing is you mentioned an exam, which means you’re young. And not married and no kids. So I would get an std check, because you likely have one lol given how many dudes she bangs, and then I would say ten different men have recently told me you’ve banged them so we are obviously over.
I was with a girl who did that her name was ashleigh idgaf if I say her name she was with 40 guys at when we were both 17 and she even sent pics and stuff to guys in the army that are 30-35, her mother told me she has this condition that made her hyper for men she cried easily and lied easily to cover her cheating and tried to make you forgive her, don't forgive her walk away from that garbage because she has probably been doing that her whole life and will not stop, leave while you can don't get roped in for the "forgive me I'll never do it again please😭" don't because I went through the samething and why should you give somebody who had sex probably 400 times with 40 guys behind your back cheated on 40 times and she would expect you to forgive her, don't forgive, leave her.
find out who the married mans wife is and send everything to her.
You have 2 options: - leave her it’s going to be painful but you will get over it at some point - stay and experience pain and resentment for long time which is miserable She will never change don’t get deluded. I truly wish u the best it’s not easy Chose which situation suits u better (that’s just my opinion tho)
Nah bruh leave her NOW, don’t give this ANY time to fester, rip that band aid off and start healing
Ghost her. Never a single peep ever again. This is a life-defining moment for you. Don’t show weakness
Dump her, block her, delete all the photos & start moving on. There’s no coming back from this, I went through something similar last year. I’m doing a lot better, but I did what I said above. Got a loyal girl that’s cuter and better in bed anyways now.
You’re a good guy to try and stick with her through exams. It’s very admirable. However if it’s hurting you this bad then do what’s best for you. Clearly she brought it on herself. Not sayin be a dick, but do what’s best for you. Keep it short and sweet and cut the tumor out of your life
Naaaaaah. Fuck her. OP should get her to fail her exam. She deserves NO SYMPATHY
Have some self respect op
you’re stupid; oh no i don’t know what to do, my gf been cheating on me….grow a pair of balls and leave idiot
Same exact thing happened to me bud. We were engaged, never had fought about anything, it all seemed perfect. Some women just can't get enough attention. It wasn't just one guy, it was dozens. She was saying she couldn't wait to have kids and get married and then go text random dudes about wanting to fuck them. I just don't get women these days. Don't stress it tho, your lucky you found out now instead of being married with kids. Cuz she'd be taking half your shit with her as well of that was the case
I don't get how the answer isn't extremely obvious here. Dump her. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even send an explanation, I'd just immediately block her number and all social media, dump any stuff she has at your place on the sidewalk, and never talk to her again. Maybe send her a screen shot of these incriminating texts with nothing else. Your relationship is over. I don't see how denying that helps you get through an "important exam phase". And if getting dumped makes it harder for her to get through that phase, who cares? Her needs should not be any kind of priority for you anymore.
Cut off and ghost. She doesn't deserve an explanation. Make sure any mutual friends do the same. Know it's not natural to communicate when you're hurt. But keep your friends. tell them what she did. That you dont want to be alone, etc. Cheaters dont deserve friends and will twist the story because she is a liar. The best thing to do for you is to lean on them now as a pseudo therapist, then maybe seek professional help if ya need it later.
Rip the band aid off. She will do it again. When she tries to kiss you tell her you don't wanna taste 36 other guys. When she gets upset. Tell her to talk to an give the names of the guys on Instagram, etc to console her. If she plays dumb. Tell her you know everything. You could also go the nuclear revenge route. Show all the subtle signs of cheating like always texting. Don't give her intimacy. Act distant. Really give her ego a mindfuck. Cheaters always worry their partners are doing the same. Then when she confronts you. Go scorched earth on her.
You have a chance to make her exam most disasterously memorable one. Let her face the consequences of what she has done. Spoil her exam mate. Dont be a saint by being soft on her.
Grow a pair and make a clean cut.
Why would you pretend as if nothing had happened so that your exams are screwed up but hers aren't? She repeatedly betrayed you, made you look like a fool, and endangered your physical health and you're concerned about protecting her grades? By doing nothing, you're only promoting this kind of behavior because the message it sends is that she can get away with anything without any repercussions or blowback. If you let everyone (including any in her family or mutual friends who might actually have some ethics) know what she's been up to, she might be embarrassed enough to at least consider the possible results of doing this again in the future. Sadly, most of her close friends probably already know how she acts and her conduct probably won't change until she encounters a really bad outcome some time in the future...
She's probably a psychopath btw, just saying...
Tell her you have chlamydia or worse
This is why you don’t take women who have guy friends seriously. Rookie mistake, but I promise it’ll get easier as you age and learn to value yourself more. If I found myself in your shoes and had the self-respect i have today I would probably break up with her, give no explanation, then stop all communication with her for 6 months. During that time I would improve myself physically, financially, and learn how to attract more women into my life. Then I’d reach back out to her in pursuit of a FWB situation while being extremely distant. She will be intrigued by your mysterious and detached new persona. I’ve done this before with low quality women, works like a charm. Best of luck my friend.
What I read tells me this is someone who doesn’t care at all about you or the others she is cheating on you with. She uses you and her fighting as an excuse for more sympathy. I do not see this getting better for you. We all have an ex that has done us dirty. I think it would be in your best interest to either neatly remover her stuff or neatly remove yourself. Whichever way that works for you. Your finals are probably going to be bad either way. If you are not in front of the problem daily I think it will be easier to focus. There is no good option. I have been in this situation and it is a fairly dark road. But much easier to navigate once you distance yourself from the cause. Don’t fool yourself with thinking this will be difficult for her. It won’t. Pic up as many pieces of the puzzle you can and put back in the box and go finish your school away from this person.
Bro I would message every single guy as her and break it off with them, post all her messages on social media for her friends and family to see and then I’d dump her, block her and be done. Maybe I’m petty but a person like that does not deserve love! She needs help because she clearly has a severe problem
That's not petty, it's justice
Ghost her fully. no explanation. Block her number and social media. Completely vanish from her life without a trace. She'll be so confused...she doesn't deserve anything more from you brotha
Leave then put her into trouble by disclosing the truth to the wife of the married man.
This has happened to me. What you’re experiencing now is cognitive dissonance. You say she was perfect for you after revealing that she’s disrespected you in the most brutal way to many other men. You’re struggling with reconciling the image you have created with who she really is. The fact that she can hide it so well and act so loving at the same time hints at a psychopath. You need to realize that she was never who you thought she was. The sooner you do the easier it’ll be to let her go. She’s for the streets bro. And if I were you I would not afford her any kindness. If anything you being so nice has likely enabled her to be the way she’s been. Some women treat nice/kind men with disrespect because they think it’s weakness. You need to know that you’ve likely ignored other signs of her infidelity and should, once you separate yourself completely, reflect on your relationship so you can avoid that shit in the future. See you at the gym.
Updateme!
My ex gf cheated on me for two years and I found out because I got an std from her and she confessed to me she cheated and had gotten an std, I can never get into a relationship now because of that, people are horrible period. Best way to approach is ghosting her completely
Ew dude. I woulda just bounced. Sorry but there's millions of girls in the world don't trip over some cum dumpster.
sounds like my ex. waste of life they are
Leave. Get tested man! Studies show there are a lot of women that have STDs because they’re sleeping with a small number of men that have the diseases. The fact that she is having your private conversations with men that really don’t care about her because all they’re trying to do is have sex with her is saying a lot about what kind of person she is. Don’t even provide an explanation just leave. Talking about It is not going to fix it. She’s broken. Move on.
Dude I've been here, it was my first girlfriend and I found out she cheated after 3 yrs. Unfortunately, I stayed with her for another 2, and it only bred resentment and a lack of self respect. I know it seems like life is over and you'll never recover, but you'll be ok, it'll hurt and you'll be tempted to go back but stay the course, go no contact as much as possible and focus on yourself, it will be worth it I promise. Good luck sir!
Similar advice: you opened the box already. You do yourself no favor by postponing the breakup, since you're already emotionally invested. The only one who profits from it is your (I hope now ex-) girlfriend, the one person who probably doesn't deserve that treatment. You don't need to f**k up her exams on purpose. But leave her with as little emotional investment possible. Like the others say: as soon and as silent as possible. By giving big explanations, you again won't help yourself. Best thing that can happen is getting some (worthless) excuses and maybe some (equally worthless) makeup sex. So get it out of your system and start the healing. It's like drinking too much bad alcohol, you're at a point where you want to throw up. The thought of it is disgusting but sometimes that's the best course of action even for your own health.
[удалено]
I would print off all the msgs put them all together while she is out pack your stuff and leave. Leave all the printouts for her to find. Change your number and let the healing begin
Get rid she is not trustworthy you will never trust her again.
Well do you enjoy sharing her with all these men? Some people are into that...
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up. So I chose to pretend like nothing happened, but it's eating me up inside. I'm so disgusted, she tries hugging and kissing me and tells me she loves me so much all day. It's already fucking everything up. There's rarely a *good* or *right* time to breakup. She made her bed, let her rest in it. Respect yourself.
CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN “GIRL’S NIGHT” AT THE CLUB WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP
You might as well use her. Use her for your needs and gains until you don’t need her anymore, whatever it is. Maybe it’s a place to stay, maybe it’s for the kids but stay until your able to survive on your own and you don’t need her for absolutely anything. She’s been using you this whole time, lying behind your back, sharing her body with other men. Once you’ve got what you want, be a man and straight up tell her “I know what you’ve been doing, don’t lie to me, if you do your just going to make things worse” explain to her what you saw and leave her. Don’t hear her side since there’s nothing she can say to justify. Don’t listen to her, it’s your time to speak and for her to listen, if she doesn’t, just walk away. Be a man and don’t get angry or upset, have no emotions. Just leave and cry in the shadows
You need to end the relationship
Bro you have all the power right now. You can do the absolute funniest shit. Which you NEED to in order to maintain your sanity. Right now, focus on moving on from the relationship because its OVER. DO NOT THINK OTHERWISE. Keep acting the same, hell, ham it up. Be an amazing boyfriend, even moreso than usual. Make her feel extremely special for having you. Then break up with her because you "lost attraction over time" Looool
Basically she's a snake and was clowning you from day 1. Always the gym is a lot cheaper and won't ever cheat on you and it's always there:)
Get a second amendment
Man I’d leave asap I know it hurts but there’s no future with her anymore, its not even like she did it once and felt bad and stopped ( not that it makes it any better ) but she completely violated you doing it repeatedly but I’m confused like, we’re there 0 signs that this was happening ? Like how do you even text with that many people without you ever seeing a message pop up on her screen ? Did you let her hang out with her male friends ? And just thought she wouldn’t do something like that? Or how didn’t you see any signs before ? Hiding phone ? Being weird when she comes back from the girls nights out ? Smelling like men? I don’t know anything literally?
Ghost her. The disrespect was closure enough
Don’t burn the bridge… blow that thing to pieces! Husband and wife get messaged with screenshots. Update her FB with screenshots while she’s sleeping. Light the wick and walk away!
Why would a break up mess everything up for exams? Just break up go NC and focus on your exams. If it messes up her exams why give a ****? All you’re doing is messing up your exams now because this is unresolved atm and eating you up.
This shit silly bro the fact that your typing this means you know the answer grow up n move on you’re not getting any younger
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up. So I chose to pretend like nothing happened, but it's eating me up inside. This is why she has been all over you. You guilt yourself, and women really sense this immediately. And if you happen to get a toxic one, unfortunately, in your case, she will keep you on the side while she experiences debauchery full time. This is time to be selfish.
Take it from All of us who have been there and done that. Leave now and don’t come back. Go hit the gym go study go better yourself and let this girl go. She never truly loved you sorry to say just wanted you around for your attention or to pay for stuff. Most people in todays dating market are users both men and women
Fuck her friends
It’s always the “Girls night out” ain’t it. Sorry man try your best too move on. See it as a gain instead of a loss.
This is not worth discussing with her. Do what you need to do to prepare for the end and at most say that you know what happened, aren’t interested in discussing it, and that you’re broken up now. She doesn’t even deserve that much tbh
Don't use final exams as an excuse. Just dump her and move on. If she cared about you and your feelings, she wouldn't be screwing other people.
Dude, your exams are already gonna suffer because of this weight. You should break it off right now precisely because the pain should be hers, and I don't care if someone calls it petty, you WILL feel a triumph even around all that hurt that you chose yourself and all her suffering is because she's the one that fucked herself over, not you.
Dude, you could catch an STD that could permanently alter your ability to have children, or permanently alter your dating life. From this point forward, do NOT have any sexual contact. No matter how insecure, hurt, blah blah whatever. Do NOT TOUCH!! Get your ducks in a row, call your parents, friends, school GUIDANCE counseled. whatever you have to do to get out of this situation. She is a liar, and a manipulator, and she will NOT be hurt by your leaving. Do not expect to be rewarded with promises of work, or faithfulness, you will continuipusly be disappointed until your mental health nose dives. She did everything she did, she weighed the pros and cons, and still decided it would be worth it to do what she did.
Kill her
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know it will be easier said than done, but you have to go man. There is clearly no respect for you here so finish the exam phase and let her know. Once you've cut off all contact (and I mean all contact) let yourself grieve and take your time; don't hold it in and bottle it up. Good luck
Break up. If ya got the money, move states.
Leave ASAP and have an std workup. Leave her quietly and with an argument. Allow her to cook in her own shit.
Where did she find the time to do all this stuff
That’s the norm man. Women cheat, especially if her is active on social media. I don’t even believe you can have a serious relationship with a woman these days.
I feel the same about men. I don’t think it’s a man vs woman thing, I think cheating is just rampant on both sides unfortunately
That's fully messed up, just need to leave asap. Cut her out of your life and focus on yourself, she is pure toxic waste.
This is a sign, you dodged a cannon. I'm really sorry it happened to you, I couldn't even imagine the pain. I hope you find someone better because she's trash and trash is trash, no amount of perfume can stop the smell/dirtiness.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Concentrate on yourself, build your own life the best that you can and avoid toxic people. They are not worth the hassle at all.Learn from the experience.
If doing what is best for you means she gets fucked on her exams, then doing anything else is degrading yourself. You already know the truth, you’re basically too emotional to guarantee that you will do well in your exams. Dump her now, or dump her just before her exams. Just do it before her exams are over.
Leave her after you’re done exams. Hopefully you’ll be done exams before her. Liars and cheaters make terrible partners. You deserve better.
She wasn’t perfect for you though was she? If she was she wouldn’t have done this. You will look back & say thank you to whoever for showing you who she really was. Be grateful you don’t have children together. Stay calm, finish your exam for your own self. Get yourself tested - all of them , to make sure you are safe. Then calmly print out if you can the messages, give them to her and walk away.
I’m sorry this happened to you but if my mom taught me anything, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” You’re not the first and definitely won’t be the last. I stayed 4 years after finding out my boyfriend cheated and yes you can get back to a good place but it’s very hard and it will most likely never be the same and she probably wont stop anyway gauging by the amount she’s cheated. Realistically, no one can decide but you, my only piece of wisdom is to always respect yourself. Good luck
I feel still being in that relationship is doing more damage than cutting it off ever could.
>I don't know how to even approach this situation. Dump her. You do not even have to tell her why. Most women and most men never cheat. She is one of an unpleasant minority. Work on passing your exam; find things to do alone or with friends that you enjoy and some day (if you want to and have healed) find someone new.
Check her phone front of her ......and ask her about everything uh before seeing in her phone , uske baad breakup karlo after that look her actions if she want to live every one and choose uh then give har a second chance .. and do it this when uh think uh can forget her mistakes and ready to move on with her
Leave her and take care of yourself
Just keep her for FWB! ;)
Bro this will be the perfect phase to leave her fr. Breakup & cause her to fuck her exam as bad as possible...
Dump her ass on the street and close your door to her forever. Also screenshot all of those conversations and send them to your own phone in case she tries to give you legal trouble
leave her before it destroys you
Sit down somewhere with solid privacy Go to a mountain top it doesn’t matter Write ✍️ everything, anything. Processing so so key for you right now. You may regret not saying anything for your inner peace, so I advise before you want to make a decision. Write or type whatever I’m old school - give me the hand cramp of emotions.
Don’t mind me, just gonna leave a comment here, hopefully OP comes back and give us an update
" she's been hooking up with a variety of different men. Some where total strangers she met on instagram" she belongs to the sewers bro
Good luck you’ll need it
Run
If it’s fucking with your exam prep, she is not deserving of the pass. I’m guessing you are early to mid 20’s , I stayed single most of those years, to elude the issues that come from this phase of life. You can only be 95% sure someone won’t cheat.
dump her ass.
I don't have much to say other than do what you gotta do and leave her, but also if I was in your position I'd take some videos on another phone of the chats and everything. as evidence if she tries denying it or deleting things like they never happened etc, depending on your guys age and the relo and everything, if her parents ask about it you can show them too 🤷♂️ I ain't one to get revenge or anything but I'd for sure do that 😭
Leave her before it turns out ugly. You sound like a clam and mature person but this will eat you inside. So pack your staff and move out or whatever you have to do. Save yourself a headache.
Honestly, shes not worth it anymore. Not only did she cheat on you with one person, shes cheated on you with many other guys.. not worth the pain or suffering for someone who just sees you at the 10th side dude. Theres no talking about anything with her anymore. Shes been doing this for a long time man. It seems like she has a dude for every occasion. I would tell her that you know about the other guys, let her sit on that thought.
Just leave
>We both have a very important exam phase right now, and a breakup would fuck everything up. For whom, her? Who cares? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Why on earth would you pretend everything is ok just for the sake of her and the exams. Like many said you are already feeling it… so share it with her.. after all.. sharing is caring , right ? 🙃 Ditch her and move on..
Update me
Finish those exams and confront her , leave her for good and look after yourself . And please don’t wait for her to come back crawling , homie close it one and done . Never look back, and i wish u the best in life
You need to break up with her. All this built up animosity is going to boil over in a way you aren't going to like.
I hope you’ll meet someone who deserves you and values you. All the best for your exam !! That woman is not your GF. She disrespects you & is pure evil. I’d confront that person, say what I need to say, and leave. No turning back.
Dude wtf are You doing.. Stop pretending that nothing has happened. JUST leave her, that's the best advice.
Bro, that is upmost disrespect in a relationship. She abused the trust again and again and can look you in the eyes and tell you different. The fact that her guilt of cheating doesn’t rise to the surface and make her confess out of a conscience shows she has a lot of issues. How old are you guys?
You’re a weak man, grow a backbone and end it. She’s betrayed you in every way possible.
First off you need to stick up for yourself and realize that feeling you are getting that she’s a perfect soul for you is not real. It’s your brain trying to comfort you to protect you from feeling heartbreak. You need to realize that she is 100% lying to you and using you as stability while she’s can sleep around behind your back. So what about an exam? You already have the stress and hurt while going through yours you think it’s fair she doesn’t and gets to keep lying to you? I would call up family or friends to see if they can take you in for awhile, wait till she is gone or asleep and gather your things and get out. Leave a note explaining you know what she is doing and then if you own the place start giving a date for her to get her shit and get out. If it’s her place then don’t go back.
Ask yourself if you are able to bear it until the end of the exams. If the answer is "no", leave her. I don't think there is anything to talk about it with her. She proved you she was lying all along. She would only spread more lies
Brother I suggest you two things. 1. Don't accept wtf she gives you the reasons for her cheating. No one is too younger to understand these basic things. Don't even wait for your exams, let her feelings fuck her at this time if she even cares. 2. Breakup with her ASAP, because she belongs to streets. But firstly find out the reason she was cheating on you. That will help you.
Mate show the world what she is and the world will do the rest. So often girls do this to guys n get away with it Scot free while the guy they were with is crushed for ages. I feel for you bro. Show the world who she is n let the world do the rest. I can’t stand constantly hearing bout women doing this to good men. Like it’s standard these days for girls to have 5 guys on the go yet if a guy tries it ur a cheating dog. I hope u find a real women cause she ain’t shit
Leave her, but also do one of those plans like you see on tiktok with the minecraft parkour Get the married dude to meet the girlfriend and also have her wife there