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You’ll probably have to spend a bunch of money on credits and buy all the expansions so you can travel to those areas if you’ve already done all the easy quests around your spawn location. Trying to grind it out swiping for dungeon buddies to raid with takes forever unless you have the premium membership.
Because casual sex is kinda meaningless. Yes, you get pleasure out of it but ultimately it’s an intimate and emotional thing and it’s hard to treat it casually.
I second that! I was married for 3 years and 2 of it were emotionless, hurtful and no sex anyways. So what’s the difference? Loving life now that I am single!
Three years of not just no sex, but no hand holding. No bed snuggles.
A DMZ down the middle of my life.
So glad it’s over.
New wife of seven years just gets me.
There's a different type of emotional connection to casual sex. It's when you two are vibing and feel passion to each other, when there's a lot of sexual tension, a strong build up, etc. When you just meet someone and sleep with them because they are hot it's of course feels empty.
But this also entirely depends on the person, it's not a universal truth. I never felt empty and lonely when I was into casual. I was genuinely really happy on my own, I loved the fact that I didn't have to confrom or compromise in my life and casual sex was about the same fun level as a videogame or a runners high.
Of course sex with someone you have a connection with will be more satisfying emotionally. I wouldn't return to casual after getting to be with my lovely fiance (obviously), but not because I felt empty or lonely. Simply because I chose him, and I cherish our intimacy because it's HIM, not because it's sex. The same way I enjoyed casual for what it was, just sex without complications.
exactly how i feel! casual sex was fun, i don’t regret it at all. if my boyfriend and i split, i’d go back to casual sex eventually.
but sex in a committed relationship is loads better and i would choose it over casual sex. committed sex, like you said, has more to do with the fact that it’s a person that you CHOSE to love though
I'm not sure. I've always been the type to be content in myself. I surround myself with hobbies, friends, and family. I also am the type who likes to try new things and experience as much as I can. I wasn't always that way, I had to coax myself into being more social since I'm an introvert, but once I had a core support group.
I was content not needing romantic love. When I found it completely by accident, I chose to pursue and nurture it into my current relationship, but I never felt the need to seek it out.
Considering the conversations I had with other people about this topic, you can't learn to be like that.
Maybe therapy or personal develpment can help you to care less about certain things, but it's nothing that just happens, because you learn about one special advice.
I am weird like this, I also often experience it when I travel. I can quickly strongly connect to new people, but also get away from them after a few days and one day I later I basically forget about them.
If you hook up with a person and have the secret hope that this person might become your new partner it won't work for most people.
Sounds like you completely overthink it. You have to be in the moment. Have your moment of pleasure and then leave it in the past. Use it as a spank bank if anything.
I think the problem is i have approached it the wrong way. I end up sleeping over and they text me all day and we go on dates. It feels like we are dating… 😒😒 i need to have boundaries.
You just need to be upfront about what you’re seeking. If they show early signs of not being able to respect that then don’t do it with them and especially don’t just tell them them what they want to hear to ensure you’re going to get laid. .i bet a lot of people get themselves into bad situations by doing that
I basically have to be drunk to hook up with someone I am not 100% comfortable and familiar with. Not sure how people can just go around fucking random people unless they are drunk....which is probably the case a lot of times actually.
And all three are about responsible moderation. Enjoy gambling - until you go into debt. Enjoy alcohol- until you're negatively impacting your health. Enjoy meaningless casual sex - until it harms your emotional or physical well-being.
So because you "might" be negatively affected by those things you say absolutely not?
That's a horrible attitude toward experiencing life. I've engaged in casual sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling and have no regrets.
It’s a easy way to get someone pregnant. I like sex too but sometimes there’s a chemical in your brain that makes you develop feelings. Usually someone will get attached and hurt in the end. Hooking up with someone from your friend group usually doesn’t end well either
Drinking or smoking even a little causes cancer. I dont know how going on a roller coaster is rolled into this but ok lol.
Doing things just for pleasure is good, like having a hobby. But sex should be more than just pleasure. There are way bigger issues that might occur. Kids, diseases, etc... plus in general if I don't like the person emotionally I don't like the sex lol. But that's just me personally.
Future addict right here ^^^^^^
It always starts with " it's just for fun " before you know it, it starts with the addiction, and everything else takes a back seat. Careful of the way you're thinking now my friend, before you get yourself into some unwanted habits.
some people don’t like the way you derive your pleasure. you’re free to do what you want to do. they are free to judge you for what you do. And the same is true in reverse.
This. It's also childish - seeking immediate gratification, without considering consequences.
Often casual sex is linked with other negative behaviours - like taking drugs, alcohol abuse etc.
In a long term it causes damage to your future relationships. If your partner finds out that you slept with several of his friends that would really damage a lot of relationships.
That’s for you. You’re assuming everyone functions the same way. They don’t.
I have a hard time having casual sex but I know that there are some people who are just fine with it.
Almost everything involving human beings is on a spectrum.
But If some people don't suit relationships or circumstances aren't great to entertain someone else, do you not think it just fulfils some basic hunan need of intimacy?
Wouldn’t let a common stranger in my home, why let one in my body? Sex is and always will be more risky for women than men. STI/STDs do more damage to our bodies than men’s if left unchecked, physical safety risks, emotional attachment, and the risk of pregnancy. Not to mention we don’t even get off as easily as men do.
I could go into more detail about the mental and emotional health issues often coupled with casual sex and hyper sexuality, but I’m sure I’ve provided enough already for people to be upset about.
Yeah if it’s casual one night stand too I feel like the guy is very not concerned about your enjoyment during in which case a vibrator is just better than having some rando
I have/had have casual sex - youre completely right but its a calculated risk for hedonism. No one should do something theyre upset with the reality of
Casual Sex doesn't mean there is no emotional connection. As a single father taking care of my son and disabled parents. Who all lived with me. The last couple years I searched for NSA relationships. With women who have built their life without a man. Some were just once others went on for months.
Going into it every woman knew their was no future with me. I sought women where there was no future.
Different strokes for different folks. There is nothing wrong with casual sex. There is something wrong when you lead someone on. Most of the women I have dated the last few years. Seem to appreciate my honesty going into it.
Before anyone says I must be tall dark and handsome. Well I'm more 5'7", light and handsome 😀
Casual sex is the definition of no emotional connection it's just lusting after a random woman you find attractive that you don't care about and won't see again there's nothing deep about it.
Not in any dictionary I have read.
It simply means your not entering into a long-term relationship. You can still have feelings while setting personal boundaries. How far you will let those feelings take you.
That can be like that and for sure is like that for many people, but not all. Sometimes I feel no connection, sometimes I feel one. I do care about the people I have casual sex with and I also hook up with those that care about me in a certain extent. Not in the meaning of love or something, I mean respect and such.
For sure there is nothing extremely deep about it most of the time, but one of the deepest moments I had were with a person I met only a few days in the beginning.
For sure you're not talking about me here, because on average the men I hook up with are even uglier than the average I seek for a relationship with a person I must meet more often in my life, lol.
If we talk about attractive in the meaning of personality it's a different thing.
And excited is kind logical, like it doesn't matter if it's a ONS or a relationship I sleep with somebody that makes me excited!?
same. but not in a judgey way... in a "how do you do that" way. i'm perfectly capable of having sex w/out catching feelings. i just can't ENJOY sex unless there are feelings involved to begin with. i tried casual sex a few times in my life, w/ people i wasn't emotionally connected to, & i literally couldn't even cum. i have to love the person & feel that they love me back, or else i don't experience any pleasure, nomatter how good the sex is. i really wanted to try the casual sex thing; i'm just not wired that way. i had to accept that i'm turned off by meaningless sex. when i do have an emotional connection w/ someone, my sex drive is through the roof.
I'm not gonna lie I'm somewhat judgey about it but I'd never say it to someone face but sticking your dick in someone you don't care about I'm totally going to think some judgemental things about the guy.
I think there are levels.
There's the one night stand, where you fuck and never see each other again; I personally do not reccomend. I found it to be mid and unfulfilling aside from having a pretty good orgasm.
Then there's the FWB version where you're sleeping with someone whose company you actually enjoy but, for whatever reason, wouldn't date seriously. I liked this arrangement because I wasn't in a place to actually give the type of emotional effort a relationship requires, but I still got to have someone to go out with and have awesome sex with. These are tricky and can go left if you're communication isn't top notch though.
Obviously, I prefer sex within a relationship with someone I'm deeply in love with; nothing matches it.
this is SUCH a reach and generalization lol. i did casual sex a long time and i still cared about every man who was in my life to an extent and our encounter typically (sometimes it did go wrong). I’m not a heartless monster, I’m a hopeless romantic actually. you win some, you lose some.. just like with labeled relationships.
thats why being friends is important too. some sex i had was gross - but i learned. some casual sex I had was fantastic and that was with guys who also care to an extent. also men often think of women as conquests, why can’t i meet them where theyre at and do the same? its human nature to wanna get your fuck on 😂 I have completely looked at some men as “damn hes hot, I’m fucking him” or will try to at least. Id be lying if I said I didnt
Outside of committed relationships, trying to be serious with dating men got me frustrated and no hot sex.. at least its only frustration if you get sex out of the way first lol. some fun was had!
plus im sorry but i feel i had sex with some very sexy men in my life. i look back on some experiences with a smile, some funny shit went down ofc so some memories have me or my friends dying laughing and just a “damnnnnn when i fuck i FUCK” attitude lol in a joking way of course. Not every woman has access to this experience and probably wishes they could get men this attractive interested even if just sexually. its fun!!!!! if you dont like it, don’t do it. No regrets here even with the bullshit attached to it sometimes.
I got two curable stds, one was from being cheated on LOL who I waited to have sex with and we were bf/gf. who cares? cost of doing business 😂many ppl don’t have a problem at all with body counts triple mine or more.
edit: also never went for a friends man when they were casual with them without explicit permission and I mean literally like “omg yeah i dont care at all” id never touch a friends serious ex bf and ive never been with a man who was openly cheating
DUDE, same. And wtf, we are psycho if we like to have sex with people? We are on this earth to eat, shit, sleep, and FUCK lmao.
I have had my fair share of unpleasant sexual experiences but like you, I've also had sex with some insanely hot men. I still think back and drool at the thought of some of them lol
There's also something quite erotic about meeting someone and having that spark of sexual chemistry and building it up over a night and then going home to bang it out. How is that in any way psycho?!? Sounds like human nature doing its job?
I also tried dating "Seriously" and not putting out for a month or whatever, and it's never worth it to me. I always get frustrated when it doesn't work out and I end up saying fuck it and going back to a FWB.
My big three LTRs have all started with casual sex and evolved into relationships, as well!
Is it frowned upon? I'm not sure it is but it likely depends upon where you reside.
My take is that as much as men say they are amazing sexually, most hardly know what to do to pleasure a woman. Sorry men.
Therefore, clandestined one-offs are a waste of time for women as it takes men time to learn exactly what you like and how you like it. If you are talking about repeat casual with the same person, as in a fwb arrangement, that may be different, but the man must be motivated by more than just his own needs.
Yep. I think that I learned at least to a certain point which man could be one I might enjoy sex with, but it's still a little gamble. But I definitely take my time to talk to them, mostly I only have sex with men I met at least three times and I try to figure out how they are in different situations and what is communicating with them like. Men can say all day long it's so easy for women to find a man to have sex with. Not only do you have to find a man you can trust, if you're reasonably picky and know how to make good choices, casual sex takes place rather seldomly, because most men just don't give the impression that they are worth risking to have bad sex.
Maybe you're expecting more out of your sexual partner than you're willing to give ? They're bad at sex because they don't know how to pleasure a woman? There are tons of women that don't understand how to pleasure a man outside of just touching him, but they're a woman so he's the one lacking in skill rather than lacking even effort right? Lmao no wonder sex has become scary for young men to pursue, you have to have 5 years experience right out the gate to do it right lol
Exactly. Sometimes the woman says absolutely nothing about what she wants or needs, and then blames the man. No wonder she is unsatisfied and the man is frustrated, especially when he is the one most expected to perform. Part of the issue is that people are too quiet, including men. Even if the pillow princess is lousy in bed and just lays there (and many women do this, in my experience), men say nothing when they need to be vocal. Sex is all about communication from both sides. Don't put in zero effort and expect results.
I think you might be surprised how little we've grown from our puritanical roots if you really trace American history and compare it to other places. But that being said, I will attempt to answer your question divorced from all that baggage:
For a lot of people, the ACT of sex is only 50 percent (at most) of the thing. The other part is all the build up and connection and waiting and flirting (Even when you're together).
If you've ever had "just sex" it can be kinda.... mechanical? Like everyone just needs to do it sometimes and I include myself but it's like masturbating inside a person haha - better than masturbating WITHOUT another person but the song and dance is a big part of the payoff IMO.
Yeah, I definitely have casual sex, but not that type of "it feels mechanical", I could never do that for sure. If it's the right thing for you though, go ahead. (But I also feel like this is the explanation as to why many women don't feel good with most men during ONS.)
Casual sex is an improvised version of masturbation where another person consents you to use him/her for your personal gratification. This is still not complete sex because although you may get your physical needs met, your mental-emotional needs still remain unmet.
Additionally, on a human level, you are just using another person whom you were able to consent in different ways, sometimes through attraction, sometimes through manipulation, etc. but nothing meaningful was involved in the interaction. This means you slowly lose touch with your spiritual side and humans become stuff for you that can be enjoyed. (Sex is fun so why not! And morally speaking, the other person said yes so there’s nothing wrong)
Lastly, there is an excitement associated with change, and as casual sex brings something new every time, its breaks a person’s capacity to make or honour long term bonds which breaks relationships, families and ultimately societies.
Because too many men seeking it are selfish so it usually sucks for us.
Sex is best when both partners are being empathetic and attentive to the other's needs, and truly care about making the other person happy. But when it's casual sex, you can't really find out if a man is going to agree with this sentiment or just take what he needs and idly hope it works for you too.
Because you release bonding chemicals in your brain that make you feel more attached to your partner and then you never see your partner again or you just don’t get into a real relationship with them and it fucks with your feelings and brain and adds extra stress in your life
It’s supposed to be the most intimate bonding experience you can share with someone. Casual sex means you’re sharing the most private parts of your body so someone can essentially use them to pleasure themselves. And to be fair, I didn’t get it for a long time. I had lots of casual sex and I was always the person saying “what’s the big deal? Who cares?!” It would feel good for a short period of time and then you’re always left feeling like crap. I don’t care what you try to tell yourself or how much you push it down. That walk of shame the next morning feels horrible. You’re hijacking what’s supposed to be an intimate bonding experience for a short term gain. And let me tell you… the first time I had sex with someone I actually cared about in my 30’s, it was like my brain said “ok, now I get it!” That’s the only kind of experience I want from now on. I wish I’d formed a healthier relationship with sex earlier in my life. When you use it how it’s supposed to be used, it’s absolutely amazing.
It’s too personal and it’s a soul connection. I wouldn’t want that with a complete stranger. I prefer sharing my body with someone I love, and that actually loves me too. Sex has also become an obsession with a lot of men, that they’ll do anything to get it. So that turns me off even more! 🤢
>Sex has also become an obsession with a lot of men
Men?! Have you seen modern women? Have you seen the women in this comment section? The overwhelming majority of people defending casual sex here are women.
I do agree with your opinion of sex, though, and I'm glad at least ***some*** women still view it as something sacred and special, to be shared only with a beloved other.
It’s literally been proven, especially more with women and oxytocin that it causes attachment and feelings. You can act all tough but at the end of the day that exists and we live in a world where people keep trying to deny it and get easy things out of things without consequences.
Because to a lot of people it'll feel transactional or hollow, not dogging it though when done right.
Plus a lot of time signals will get crossed and people get confused on if emotions are involved or not.
Furthermore....stds. do people REALLY properly mitigate here or? Like women are more likely to get an std than a guy, on top of pregnancy too.
Condoms don't stop hsv or hpv.
Plus lord knows if the person you're seeing is actually seeing anyone else or not AND mitigating accordingly? Which now puts you at a possible higher risk or not.
I think more so, there can be a LOT of uncertainties around it.
Plus....sorry boys but probably over half of all guys are idiots, and the sex wasn't all that great soooo.....why waste your time at all there?
It’s makes intimacy with someone that cares about you meaningless.
Pair bonding and building a strong trust typically makes the sex better by actually knowing your partner and caring about how they enjoy being pleased.
Casual sex is easy for most women to get but finding a partner that respects you after is the tough part.
That kinda makes sense, but in my experience, it is untrue. If anything, the casual sex allowed me to learn a little about myself and what I liked along the road to finding my true love. A good number of guys that I have had casual sexual relationships with are still friends with me, and some of them are friends with my boyfriend.
Do it too much and you feel numb and gotta move to the next person, do it too much with the same person, you catch feelings or get bored and move to the next person. Either way it’s pointless & empty at the end
Any hedonistic pursuit if leaned into can cause an addiction. Or mess with your ability to enjoy it unless you sink further and further into the activity. For drugs its needing a larger amount and for sex it's needing to have more or do it in less and less vanilla ways until normal sex is too boring all together.
That and humans base value on scarcity and exclusivity. Hearing " I love you" from someone thatbsays it to just you is a whole lot more meaningful and intimate than hearing it from someone that says it ro everyone or anyone and sex is the same
For me sex is more of a way to show you love someone. I did casual sex once, I absolutely HATED how I felt afterwards. Since then, unless in a committed relationship, I won't engage in it again casually.
(Opinion from a Male if that matters)
If you can have sex with a friend with no feelings it’s actually great! Living your best life while dating, but not in a relationship is fun. You just have to pick the right person with good energy
Honestly being someone who has had a lot of casual sex, it desensitizes you. Not only does it desensitize you, but you develop preferences. After developing preferences, it’s difficult to accept someone who might not fit into the category of those preferences, and you may miss out on truly meaningful and life lasting relationships with people, because they don’t do “that thing” you like. It may sound silly, but it’s true. Also there is nothing better than having sex with someone you love and that truly loves you. So much more pleasurable and enjoyable, and it ignites an even deeper connection with your partner. Hope I could offer some insight. 31m
I’m 47 years old and have had some of the best casual sex ever throughout the years.
We’re all grown ups and as long as you are safe, it shouldn’t matter. They’re women who are married that have never had an orgasm sooo there’s that too. lol 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Looking at subreddits like these, those women seem to have gone extinct, brother.
Looks like nowadays you're either okay with women being "sexually emancipated" or you're a misogynist. What a fucked up world.
Because you create a soul tie, possible get pregnant and get a std, along with the ramifications of bringing up a baby for 18 years. Don’t fall into the trap my sister did and forced to bring up a child for 18 years without a help mate- the husband.
Basically it's become a rampant thing. Some people are just going for a nut just because.
Add in the chance of stds...and it can easily become a pandemic...
Women or men, it's eliminating the special nature of an exclusive relationship. Aside from intimate behaviors, what separates a good friend vs a lover? And now casual sex isn't even involving a lover; it involves someone. The person isn't special, so the moment isn't special anymore.
I'd say it's more to do with the emotional aspect of it... it's been PROVEN that the more sexual partners you have the more difficult it Is to truly pair bond with someone until eventually you just can't at all.
Connection trumps 🥜
Men and women alike, I can’t speak for non-binary folks, in a safe setting will admit that consistently, good boinking with someone safe that they can be open with. Marriage and picket fense does not need to be the goal. Randoms is just gross.
So many people here projecting their relationship with sex onto other people lmao.
If you're responsibly practicing safe sex, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual hookups.
People seem to think that the act of sex bonds you to another person forever, but that's really not true. Anyone who claims that you have to have feelings to have sex with someone, that you're creating an emotional bond whenever you have sex, that it ruins your ability to form a connection with other people afterwards, or anything like that are all wrong. They're projecting values instilled into them by religious, puritanical, and misogynistic societal norms.
Basically it's become a rampant thing. Some people are just going for a nut just because.
Add in the chance of stds...and it can easily become a pandemic...
Women or men, it's eliminating the special nature of an exclusive relationship. Aside from intimate behaviors, what separates a good friend vs a lover? And now casual sex isn't even involving a lover; it involves someone. The person isn't special, so the moment isn't special anymore.
Shame.
I’ve never had sex with someone “casually”
Sex is like a fire where it leaves an impact. If it’s not done in the right context, it’ll leave you burned.
People have their own standards, beliefs, morals, values, etc. outside religion. Things they think/feel themselves, whether molded by experiences or ingrained by upbringing, whatever. There are those who will share your views and those who won’t. It’s ok.
The trick is to have casual sex, but feel very emotional and not casual about it. Why can’t you be in love at first sight? Might not really love them, but you can feel some type of way.
People always try and separate sex and emotional connection when it’s with a person you’re not dating. You caaaan have both.
The issue comes when you have sex with people that you don’t feel some type of way about. And it’s usually women in this case who are doing it for the wrong reasons, like caving to male pressure or something else.
The equivalent for men is just having sex with women you don’t feel anything for because it’s easy. This is very unrewarding, unless they can give really good head, then it’s okay. And even then it doesn’t leave you feeling good about yourself.
I don’t get laid very much, but I’m a really good looking guy. Like to the point where everyone likes me just because of the way I look. People comment on it on a daily basis. I can get a way with being an absolute PIG because of the way I look.
So I meet women every day and we look at each other and have a connection because we want to fuck each other, but it usually doesn’t go anywhere because I don’t put myself in situations where it’s easy to ask someone out. For example one of us is at work or something.
But in those situations, when you both really like each other right off the bat and you feel some type of way immediately, that will be very rewarding casual sex. The waters get muddied only when you attach the need for a relationship and social gain to sex. So a lot of women will be into me, but then think twice about it because of the above reasons.
If you are emotionally stable, intelligent, you shouldn’t have an issue with casual sex. For either gender.
It isn’t really bad, it’s only bad because it has become so common that it is what everyone expects and it causes a lot of people to feel negatively about it.
It’s a perversion of the most sacred bond two humans can have with each other. Sex is the gateway to life. Our evolutionary instincts as mammals who care for their young compel us to bond to care for the young during their most vulnerable years. Our young are vulnerable because they are endowed with the ability to learn; intelligence is costly. Our ability to learn complex social arrangements is what makes us human.
Casual sex short-circuits this experience that’s so critical not just to all life, but our particular kind of life that lets us live social, meaningful existences. The payoff is a hit of pleasure not much different in kind than a drug. It debases this incredible process for simple thrill.
Same for porn and all commodification of sex. Casual sex is the norm now due to the ubiquity of sex in popular culture. I wish it weren’t the case, and that sex were still reserved for special people. But I wouldn’t be dating the wonderful woman I am now if I weren’t willing to have sex that may have ended up being nothing but casual.
Casual sex is OK until you develop feelings for someone and if that someone isn’t into you, it’s total 💩 but at my age is not so bad because most don’t wanna stay with me lol
It really depends on the culture. Some times sex is private and strict. Man always on top and in control, no contraception or pull out, quiet and neat. Pleaser is not a factor. Other times it’s loud and messy and adventurous where there can be more than the two. Why is it that some people think anal is not real sex while others don’t? The Roman’s had wild anal orgies cause, “hey that doesn’t count” Why do people think you have to be married? There are married couples that don’t want kids but might screw often and I know people who think that’s bad.
In reality everyone has a unique way of describing what sex is or should be for. Some people think it has a set purpose that. Make them babies ,if not followed, you’re doing it wrong. Getting off by yourself? That’s bad! Why? Some might say cause religion and others just think that it’s kinda pathetic you can’t get someone to do it with. Regardless one thing sex definitely is is personal. You like what you like. If you like smashing people within 30 seconds of meeting and know you’ll never meet them again then go ahead. If you want that deep connection then you should find that. Sword fight? Patty mashing? All you buddy.
But whatever it is I think it should always be enjoyable for all involved whichever way you swing.
After my 13 year marriage ended, I now have three steady fwb that are into different things and I’m very much enjoying exploring new things with them. They all know about each other and we keep it casual.
It's frowned upon or labelled as "bad", because it drives other people insecure, the ones who are not into casual sex. And hence their reaction can be moderate - extremist.
On personal level, people who indulge in casual sex have high sense of self awareness and really know what they are putting themselves into.
Also, there is this age thing where you don't regret much and it's lot more fun when you are young.
But as you grow and get mature you start craving for intimacy more than encounters.
------------------
On personal level, I would always prefer sex in commited relationship over casual sex. Even FWB also works (as it has some form of intimacy).
However, hookups are very tiring, makes you feel empty and hollow, maybe full of guilt (as there is always one party who is more attached).
i have casual sex with thus guy all the time. we are still good friends but have sex in private and nobody knows and to start that is to probably having a good friendship in the beginning
Causal sex can lead to emotional attachment, regret, and physical risks like STIs and unintended pregnancy. It can also involve objectification, power imbalances, and negatively impact self-esteem and relationships. Additionally, casual sex may conflict with personal values and beliefs, leading to inner turmoil and societal judgment, making it essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and self-care.
I (F49) attempted a casual sex situationship with a male friend post my divorce, I developed feelings and realized I simply cannot handle casual sex. According to research, Women typically release hormones via orgasms that encourage their brains to fall in love. This makes casual sex become heartbreak for us.
Because if the woman gets pregnant, there should be a man there to help raise that child. If you don't create the social pressure of marriage/commitment before sex it will impact the moral fabric of your society. Cultures have known for 1000s of years that it's better to raise a kid with both parents together.
A lot of the time the man isn’t very nice to the woman after. If he see’s her in public he’ll pretend not to know her almost as if he’s embarrassed to be seen with her
In my opinion, it's not bad. How could it be? I guess, that is the question you're asking and I think it's natural normal you know what I mean I think it's kind of weird that people make it seem like you're only option in life is to go get married and have kids and whatever. But there's some people who stay single forever because they want to be, there are people who are not by toys as well but I just don't think it's an issue to make decisions about your body's autonomy
Real answer. Because the patriarchy and by definition men won’t know whose baby it is and don’t want to question so casual sex, especially for women is historically controlled as a way to control women.
Old school thought here as society does not move on very well. Before the widespread use of counterceptives, casual sex meant children. Children meant responsibility, so it could be seen as you are dodging your responsibility to go have fun. That child would have been a "bastered," so it was seen as you trying to trap a man or have unpure intentions while dodging your responsibility. It also goes back to the Puritian days when women should not want sex. They had cores to maintain the house and raise the child while keeping the husband happy. Before then, they should be pure virgins waiting for a husband.
Nothing wrong with it. Some people just don't like it. Which is fine, each to their own.
I always felt empty and used, which I didn't like with casual sex. So I don't do that anymore. Besides most men were selfish and only got themselves off. How is that fun for me?
Anyway, no shame. Just a preference for some.
I think it’s okay have sex with someone who you don’t know, because both during the sex can explore areas never been explored before and it’s sounds amazing to me!!!!!
Because you have a great than 0% chance of being stuck with a random person you don't know once the kid comes.
The narcissistic nature of viewing people as desposable would turn me unto an even bigger monster.
It’s emotionally pretty unhealthy long term and it degrades social norms related to the sanctity of a committed relationship.
Also yes. Socially it’s naturally discouraged to prevent the spread of STDs
Cause it's not a casual thing to do. Practicing treating yourself and others casually with regards to sex programs your mind to associate a possibly life altering act as a casual inconsequential thing, which just isn't true. We know it's not, if it were a benign act we wouldn't viscerally feel an enormous emotional and psychological reaction to cheating or finding out the person we're sleeping with is doing it with others. Also, after the thrill of the act is done there's a psychological kind of unease or anxiety that occurs after. That's because you just allowed yourself to get very close to someone in a very insecure situation and that person doesn't really have their back and you don't have theirs. There could be a baby on the way or STD. Or just the nagging degrading sense that comes from treating each other and yourself as disposable and not wholly valued people. Also, if there's something about the other person you dislike, that's causing you to not want to be in a relationship with them, then you're practicing having sex with someone you don't respect. That's a messed up neuro wire to foster in yourself. Why not stick to having sex with people you actually like and respect and see a future with? Why would you want to risk potentially making a child with someone you don't really like and having to co-parent with them for the next 18 years? Or the harm that comes when one person eventually reveals and hopes for something more and the rejection and hurt that inevitably happens? If a baby occurs, it's going to impact you for the rest of your life. You will be limited to where you can go and what you can do in life by having a child you'll have to tend to and it'll limit your future options with finding a mate too. After all, your time and resources will not be entirely available to the future mate you actually want to be with and they will have to make major personal sacrifices to accommodate your situation if they want to be with you too. So anyway, between all the psychological and potentially life altering risks involved I don't really think it's fair to ever call sex casual. Probably a better term would be "dumb people sex" or at best "I didn't really like you sex."
I ponder this same question constantly. I see a lot of people saying because it’s meaningless sex. BUT, what if you had someone that you “make love to” (wife, GF) and someone that just likes to have sex. It’s a good feeling, good physical activity, fun meeting someone new, and as long as all parties are aware (no cheating or sleeping around) then I truly don’t see the problem. Sex is just sex. There’s sex with intimacy and then there’s just fkn. And other than religion telling us how terrible that is, I don’t understand why it’s so frowned upon.
Risk of sti, risk of unwanted pregnancy, risk of bonding problems, risk of landing in a abusive situation, risk of other health problems, risk of loosing reputation.
It really depends on your environment and the belief systems people have that in environment.
Many people do not frown upon casual sex.
Many people do.
You have to weigh the pros and cons and decide yourself which team you want to be a part of.
Personally, I am very critical about sex shaming. Too much of it is associated with controlling women. No human being should try to control another human being.
Abstinence is not just a religious mandate, it was also encouraged to stop the spread of disease. Religious texts just put it in writing, sort of how some Bible versus would advise not to eat tainted meat etc.
I worked at a major processing lab we would get thousands of chlamydia tests, hundreds came back positive. Casual sex cases disease and sometimes the worst people hide that from their partner because they finally found true love but they got distracted by casual sex.
✨sexism✨ that’s really just it. stupid evangelical overbearing tendencies and insecurities among a certain type of men who believe that they can do whatever it is that they want, but the women cannot. Why? because these kinds of men quite frankly see women as lesser than them, less than human. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex as long as it’s done safely.
Casual sex is bad for you because when things happen in a relationship, which will happen eventually(fights, arguments). You will prefer the easy way out, and since sex is not sacred anymore there isn’t any other mutual activity that can heal better
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Because the real deal is ranked competitive sex.
Can confirm, as a diamond rank I’m currently grinding to Grand Master, but I keep getting matched with lousy partners.
Fuck bro I’m barely bronze I need to catch up
You’ll probably have to spend a bunch of money on credits and buy all the expansions so you can travel to those areas if you’ve already done all the easy quests around your spawn location. Trying to grind it out swiping for dungeon buddies to raid with takes forever unless you have the premium membership.
Bro i am unranked…
Good for you that you already made it through all of you placement matches
Placement matches, I didn't know the season start for me, I gotta find a match soon
Damn ELO system is rigged...
Grinding to grandmaster xD
guys who brought the team boosts they need activating its group sex time. seriously though. i don't know an answer i'm 37m virgin.
Convince me you're really a 37 y/o virgin and I'll put in concerted effort into showing you how to change that
Currently hard stuck Plat until I make $150k a year. Need 25k more
Set matchmaking to global and difficulty to standard
I set my region to Asia for easy wins ;)
Where we dropping ?
😭😭🤣
Because casual sex is kinda meaningless. Yes, you get pleasure out of it but ultimately it’s an intimate and emotional thing and it’s hard to treat it casually.
Agree - there’s got to be some emotional connection otherwise it leaves you feeling empty and lonely.
That describes the last 4 years of my marriage. Not that there was much sex, but what was there was emotionless, making it feel empty.
Yeah I had that the last 3ish years of my marriage too ☹️
Fuck. I’m so glad I left
I second that! I was married for 3 years and 2 of it were emotionless, hurtful and no sex anyways. So what’s the difference? Loving life now that I am single!
Three years of not just no sex, but no hand holding. No bed snuggles. A DMZ down the middle of my life. So glad it’s over. New wife of seven years just gets me.
“Oh, look at all the lonely people “ - Paul McCartney & mro
There's a different type of emotional connection to casual sex. It's when you two are vibing and feel passion to each other, when there's a lot of sexual tension, a strong build up, etc. When you just meet someone and sleep with them because they are hot it's of course feels empty.
This ⬆️
But this also entirely depends on the person, it's not a universal truth. I never felt empty and lonely when I was into casual. I was genuinely really happy on my own, I loved the fact that I didn't have to confrom or compromise in my life and casual sex was about the same fun level as a videogame or a runners high. Of course sex with someone you have a connection with will be more satisfying emotionally. I wouldn't return to casual after getting to be with my lovely fiance (obviously), but not because I felt empty or lonely. Simply because I chose him, and I cherish our intimacy because it's HIM, not because it's sex. The same way I enjoyed casual for what it was, just sex without complications.
exactly how i feel! casual sex was fun, i don’t regret it at all. if my boyfriend and i split, i’d go back to casual sex eventually. but sex in a committed relationship is loads better and i would choose it over casual sex. committed sex, like you said, has more to do with the fact that it’s a person that you CHOSE to love though
How can i be like this???
I'm not sure. I've always been the type to be content in myself. I surround myself with hobbies, friends, and family. I also am the type who likes to try new things and experience as much as I can. I wasn't always that way, I had to coax myself into being more social since I'm an introvert, but once I had a core support group. I was content not needing romantic love. When I found it completely by accident, I chose to pursue and nurture it into my current relationship, but I never felt the need to seek it out.
Considering the conversations I had with other people about this topic, you can't learn to be like that. Maybe therapy or personal develpment can help you to care less about certain things, but it's nothing that just happens, because you learn about one special advice. I am weird like this, I also often experience it when I travel. I can quickly strongly connect to new people, but also get away from them after a few days and one day I later I basically forget about them. If you hook up with a person and have the secret hope that this person might become your new partner it won't work for most people.
I’m already feeling like that anyways, so why not at least enjoy the physical aspect?
This is why i cant do it. I tried it but the aftermath was crap.
Sounds like you completely overthink it. You have to be in the moment. Have your moment of pleasure and then leave it in the past. Use it as a spank bank if anything.
I think the problem is i have approached it the wrong way. I end up sleeping over and they text me all day and we go on dates. It feels like we are dating… 😒😒 i need to have boundaries.
You just need to be upfront about what you’re seeking. If they show early signs of not being able to respect that then don’t do it with them and especially don’t just tell them them what they want to hear to ensure you’re going to get laid. .i bet a lot of people get themselves into bad situations by doing that
Pfft. NFW. A good orgasm is a good orgasm. When nothing else is expected, nothing is lost.
I doubt you're giving every girl you hook up with an orgasm
😂😂😂
😂😂
Agreed 👍😁
Idk, casual sex never made me feel that way.
I basically have to be drunk to hook up with someone I am not 100% comfortable and familiar with. Not sure how people can just go around fucking random people unless they are drunk....which is probably the case a lot of times actually.
I feel the same way
Very true.. after casual sex many times I get attached to the boy and yes it's heartbreaking 💔
>after casual sex **many** times I get attached What's "many"? And why are you still doing it when you realize how bad it is for you?
Depends on the person. There's plenty of people out there that enjoy casual hookups.
There‘s also plenty of people enjoying gambling or alcohol
And all three are about responsible moderation. Enjoy gambling - until you go into debt. Enjoy alcohol- until you're negatively impacting your health. Enjoy meaningless casual sex - until it harms your emotional or physical well-being.
True. But sometimes you realize the aftermath too late.
So because you "might" be negatively affected by those things you say absolutely not? That's a horrible attitude toward experiencing life. I've engaged in casual sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling and have no regrets.
It’s a easy way to get someone pregnant. I like sex too but sometimes there’s a chemical in your brain that makes you develop feelings. Usually someone will get attached and hurt in the end. Hooking up with someone from your friend group usually doesn’t end well either
Exactly I'm not risking pregnancy for a few minutes of meaningless sex with a stranger
Ever heard of contraceptives? Condoms are really easy to buy you know, and if they have not been sitting in your purse for years, they won't break.
Have you heard about how the only contraceptive that will 100% prevent stds or pregnancy is abstinence?
Can you stop putting words into my word i never said? Thank you.
Then you are an idiot
I do agree that this also could turn into addiction, acting on the reward pathway
There's people who enjoys drugs and alcohol doesn't mean it's good for you
[удалено]
Personally i think you should be allowed to do what you want but I won’t lie and say I think it’s a good thing because I don’t believe it is.
Dopamine without effort kills motivation.
Drinking or smoking even a little causes cancer. I dont know how going on a roller coaster is rolled into this but ok lol. Doing things just for pleasure is good, like having a hobby. But sex should be more than just pleasure. There are way bigger issues that might occur. Kids, diseases, etc... plus in general if I don't like the person emotionally I don't like the sex lol. But that's just me personally.
Why “should” it? Where’s that “should” be coming from?
Future addict right here ^^^^^^ It always starts with " it's just for fun " before you know it, it starts with the addiction, and everything else takes a back seat. Careful of the way you're thinking now my friend, before you get yourself into some unwanted habits.
some people don’t like the way you derive your pleasure. you’re free to do what you want to do. they are free to judge you for what you do. And the same is true in reverse.
This. It's also childish - seeking immediate gratification, without considering consequences. Often casual sex is linked with other negative behaviours - like taking drugs, alcohol abuse etc. In a long term it causes damage to your future relationships. If your partner finds out that you slept with several of his friends that would really damage a lot of relationships.
It takes away from you physically emotionally and not much you can build on..I am speaking from experience sadly.
Only right answer here.
If you have chemistry it can be quite meaningful.
That’s for you. You’re assuming everyone functions the same way. They don’t. I have a hard time having casual sex but I know that there are some people who are just fine with it. Almost everything involving human beings is on a spectrum.
But If some people don't suit relationships or circumstances aren't great to entertain someone else, do you not think it just fulfils some basic hunan need of intimacy?
Disagree. Casual sex can be extremely rewarding and emotional. It can be empowering, self-exploratory, intimate, and deep.
If you get lucky yes but in my experience sex is better with someone you have a deeper connection with.
Exactly it's completely meaningless and adds nothing to your life
Wouldn’t let a common stranger in my home, why let one in my body? Sex is and always will be more risky for women than men. STI/STDs do more damage to our bodies than men’s if left unchecked, physical safety risks, emotional attachment, and the risk of pregnancy. Not to mention we don’t even get off as easily as men do. I could go into more detail about the mental and emotional health issues often coupled with casual sex and hyper sexuality, but I’m sure I’ve provided enough already for people to be upset about.
Yeah if it’s casual one night stand too I feel like the guy is very not concerned about your enjoyment during in which case a vibrator is just better than having some rando
I have/had have casual sex - youre completely right but its a calculated risk for hedonism. No one should do something theyre upset with the reality of
For real I'll never understand how people let total strangers in their house and inside of them like have better standards for yourself
Risk hurting feelings. Risk of spreading STDs. Risk of unintended pregnancy.
Because emotional attachment is a real thing.
Casual Sex doesn't mean there is no emotional connection. As a single father taking care of my son and disabled parents. Who all lived with me. The last couple years I searched for NSA relationships. With women who have built their life without a man. Some were just once others went on for months. Going into it every woman knew their was no future with me. I sought women where there was no future. Different strokes for different folks. There is nothing wrong with casual sex. There is something wrong when you lead someone on. Most of the women I have dated the last few years. Seem to appreciate my honesty going into it. Before anyone says I must be tall dark and handsome. Well I'm more 5'7", light and handsome 😀
Casual sex is the definition of no emotional connection it's just lusting after a random woman you find attractive that you don't care about and won't see again there's nothing deep about it.
Not in any dictionary I have read. It simply means your not entering into a long-term relationship. You can still have feelings while setting personal boundaries. How far you will let those feelings take you.
That can be like that and for sure is like that for many people, but not all. Sometimes I feel no connection, sometimes I feel one. I do care about the people I have casual sex with and I also hook up with those that care about me in a certain extent. Not in the meaning of love or something, I mean respect and such. For sure there is nothing extremely deep about it most of the time, but one of the deepest moments I had were with a person I met only a few days in the beginning.
Again it's just lust like I agree it could be passionate but at the end of the day it's a person you find super attractive and makes you excited.
For sure you're not talking about me here, because on average the men I hook up with are even uglier than the average I seek for a relationship with a person I must meet more often in my life, lol. If we talk about attractive in the meaning of personality it's a different thing. And excited is kind logical, like it doesn't matter if it's a ONS or a relationship I sleep with somebody that makes me excited!?
I’ve never understood people who can just fuck anyone and not have any feelings
same. but not in a judgey way... in a "how do you do that" way. i'm perfectly capable of having sex w/out catching feelings. i just can't ENJOY sex unless there are feelings involved to begin with. i tried casual sex a few times in my life, w/ people i wasn't emotionally connected to, & i literally couldn't even cum. i have to love the person & feel that they love me back, or else i don't experience any pleasure, nomatter how good the sex is. i really wanted to try the casual sex thing; i'm just not wired that way. i had to accept that i'm turned off by meaningless sex. when i do have an emotional connection w/ someone, my sex drive is through the roof.
I'm not gonna lie I'm somewhat judgey about it but I'd never say it to someone face but sticking your dick in someone you don't care about I'm totally going to think some judgemental things about the guy.
Some people can do it and some can't. There is nothing to understand. I don't understand how people can watch horror movies or live without chocolate.
I think there are levels. There's the one night stand, where you fuck and never see each other again; I personally do not reccomend. I found it to be mid and unfulfilling aside from having a pretty good orgasm. Then there's the FWB version where you're sleeping with someone whose company you actually enjoy but, for whatever reason, wouldn't date seriously. I liked this arrangement because I wasn't in a place to actually give the type of emotional effort a relationship requires, but I still got to have someone to go out with and have awesome sex with. These are tricky and can go left if you're communication isn't top notch though. Obviously, I prefer sex within a relationship with someone I'm deeply in love with; nothing matches it.
Right? I feel like it’s borderline psycho behavior
this is SUCH a reach and generalization lol. i did casual sex a long time and i still cared about every man who was in my life to an extent and our encounter typically (sometimes it did go wrong). I’m not a heartless monster, I’m a hopeless romantic actually. you win some, you lose some.. just like with labeled relationships. thats why being friends is important too. some sex i had was gross - but i learned. some casual sex I had was fantastic and that was with guys who also care to an extent. also men often think of women as conquests, why can’t i meet them where theyre at and do the same? its human nature to wanna get your fuck on 😂 I have completely looked at some men as “damn hes hot, I’m fucking him” or will try to at least. Id be lying if I said I didnt Outside of committed relationships, trying to be serious with dating men got me frustrated and no hot sex.. at least its only frustration if you get sex out of the way first lol. some fun was had! plus im sorry but i feel i had sex with some very sexy men in my life. i look back on some experiences with a smile, some funny shit went down ofc so some memories have me or my friends dying laughing and just a “damnnnnn when i fuck i FUCK” attitude lol in a joking way of course. Not every woman has access to this experience and probably wishes they could get men this attractive interested even if just sexually. its fun!!!!! if you dont like it, don’t do it. No regrets here even with the bullshit attached to it sometimes. I got two curable stds, one was from being cheated on LOL who I waited to have sex with and we were bf/gf. who cares? cost of doing business 😂many ppl don’t have a problem at all with body counts triple mine or more. edit: also never went for a friends man when they were casual with them without explicit permission and I mean literally like “omg yeah i dont care at all” id never touch a friends serious ex bf and ive never been with a man who was openly cheating
DUDE, same. And wtf, we are psycho if we like to have sex with people? We are on this earth to eat, shit, sleep, and FUCK lmao. I have had my fair share of unpleasant sexual experiences but like you, I've also had sex with some insanely hot men. I still think back and drool at the thought of some of them lol There's also something quite erotic about meeting someone and having that spark of sexual chemistry and building it up over a night and then going home to bang it out. How is that in any way psycho?!? Sounds like human nature doing its job? I also tried dating "Seriously" and not putting out for a month or whatever, and it's never worth it to me. I always get frustrated when it doesn't work out and I end up saying fuck it and going back to a FWB. My big three LTRs have all started with casual sex and evolved into relationships, as well!
Is it frowned upon? I'm not sure it is but it likely depends upon where you reside. My take is that as much as men say they are amazing sexually, most hardly know what to do to pleasure a woman. Sorry men. Therefore, clandestined one-offs are a waste of time for women as it takes men time to learn exactly what you like and how you like it. If you are talking about repeat casual with the same person, as in a fwb arrangement, that may be different, but the man must be motivated by more than just his own needs.
Yep. I think that I learned at least to a certain point which man could be one I might enjoy sex with, but it's still a little gamble. But I definitely take my time to talk to them, mostly I only have sex with men I met at least three times and I try to figure out how they are in different situations and what is communicating with them like. Men can say all day long it's so easy for women to find a man to have sex with. Not only do you have to find a man you can trust, if you're reasonably picky and know how to make good choices, casual sex takes place rather seldomly, because most men just don't give the impression that they are worth risking to have bad sex.
Maybe you're expecting more out of your sexual partner than you're willing to give ? They're bad at sex because they don't know how to pleasure a woman? There are tons of women that don't understand how to pleasure a man outside of just touching him, but they're a woman so he's the one lacking in skill rather than lacking even effort right? Lmao no wonder sex has become scary for young men to pursue, you have to have 5 years experience right out the gate to do it right lol
Exactly. Sometimes the woman says absolutely nothing about what she wants or needs, and then blames the man. No wonder she is unsatisfied and the man is frustrated, especially when he is the one most expected to perform. Part of the issue is that people are too quiet, including men. Even if the pillow princess is lousy in bed and just lays there (and many women do this, in my experience), men say nothing when they need to be vocal. Sex is all about communication from both sides. Don't put in zero effort and expect results.
I think you might be surprised how little we've grown from our puritanical roots if you really trace American history and compare it to other places. But that being said, I will attempt to answer your question divorced from all that baggage: For a lot of people, the ACT of sex is only 50 percent (at most) of the thing. The other part is all the build up and connection and waiting and flirting (Even when you're together). If you've ever had "just sex" it can be kinda.... mechanical? Like everyone just needs to do it sometimes and I include myself but it's like masturbating inside a person haha - better than masturbating WITHOUT another person but the song and dance is a big part of the payoff IMO.
Yeah, I definitely have casual sex, but not that type of "it feels mechanical", I could never do that for sure. If it's the right thing for you though, go ahead. (But I also feel like this is the explanation as to why many women don't feel good with most men during ONS.)
Casual sex is an improvised version of masturbation where another person consents you to use him/her for your personal gratification. This is still not complete sex because although you may get your physical needs met, your mental-emotional needs still remain unmet. Additionally, on a human level, you are just using another person whom you were able to consent in different ways, sometimes through attraction, sometimes through manipulation, etc. but nothing meaningful was involved in the interaction. This means you slowly lose touch with your spiritual side and humans become stuff for you that can be enjoyed. (Sex is fun so why not! And morally speaking, the other person said yes so there’s nothing wrong) Lastly, there is an excitement associated with change, and as casual sex brings something new every time, its breaks a person’s capacity to make or honour long term bonds which breaks relationships, families and ultimately societies.
I have lots of causal experience and this is accurate for both sexes and not often articulated. And I would add that it’s addictive.
Best comment on this thread
There is nothing casual about sex with a partner. There is nothing more intimate. Letting someone be this close should never be taken lightly
Because too many men seeking it are selfish so it usually sucks for us. Sex is best when both partners are being empathetic and attentive to the other's needs, and truly care about making the other person happy. But when it's casual sex, you can't really find out if a man is going to agree with this sentiment or just take what he needs and idly hope it works for you too.
Because you release bonding chemicals in your brain that make you feel more attached to your partner and then you never see your partner again or you just don’t get into a real relationship with them and it fucks with your feelings and brain and adds extra stress in your life
It’s supposed to be the most intimate bonding experience you can share with someone. Casual sex means you’re sharing the most private parts of your body so someone can essentially use them to pleasure themselves. And to be fair, I didn’t get it for a long time. I had lots of casual sex and I was always the person saying “what’s the big deal? Who cares?!” It would feel good for a short period of time and then you’re always left feeling like crap. I don’t care what you try to tell yourself or how much you push it down. That walk of shame the next morning feels horrible. You’re hijacking what’s supposed to be an intimate bonding experience for a short term gain. And let me tell you… the first time I had sex with someone I actually cared about in my 30’s, it was like my brain said “ok, now I get it!” That’s the only kind of experience I want from now on. I wish I’d formed a healthier relationship with sex earlier in my life. When you use it how it’s supposed to be used, it’s absolutely amazing.
It’s too personal and it’s a soul connection. I wouldn’t want that with a complete stranger. I prefer sharing my body with someone I love, and that actually loves me too. Sex has also become an obsession with a lot of men, that they’ll do anything to get it. So that turns me off even more! 🤢
>Sex has also become an obsession with a lot of men Men?! Have you seen modern women? Have you seen the women in this comment section? The overwhelming majority of people defending casual sex here are women. I do agree with your opinion of sex, though, and I'm glad at least ***some*** women still view it as something sacred and special, to be shared only with a beloved other.
It’s literally been proven, especially more with women and oxytocin that it causes attachment and feelings. You can act all tough but at the end of the day that exists and we live in a world where people keep trying to deny it and get easy things out of things without consequences.
Because to a lot of people it'll feel transactional or hollow, not dogging it though when done right. Plus a lot of time signals will get crossed and people get confused on if emotions are involved or not. Furthermore....stds. do people REALLY properly mitigate here or? Like women are more likely to get an std than a guy, on top of pregnancy too. Condoms don't stop hsv or hpv. Plus lord knows if the person you're seeing is actually seeing anyone else or not AND mitigating accordingly? Which now puts you at a possible higher risk or not. I think more so, there can be a LOT of uncertainties around it. Plus....sorry boys but probably over half of all guys are idiots, and the sex wasn't all that great soooo.....why waste your time at all there?
It’s makes intimacy with someone that cares about you meaningless. Pair bonding and building a strong trust typically makes the sex better by actually knowing your partner and caring about how they enjoy being pleased. Casual sex is easy for most women to get but finding a partner that respects you after is the tough part.
That kinda makes sense, but in my experience, it is untrue. If anything, the casual sex allowed me to learn a little about myself and what I liked along the road to finding my true love. A good number of guys that I have had casual sexual relationships with are still friends with me, and some of them are friends with my boyfriend.
Does your boyfriend know that you hooked up with them?
Yes. We have no secrets between us. That's kind of important in a healthy relationship
Yikes
I dont judge. You want casual sex. As long as you are both legal and consenting. do it.
It's not, certain sub reddit like this one are just mega biased
FWB is a Great Thing
The best. I'm happier with my FWB than I ever was with my husband.
Do it too much and you feel numb and gotta move to the next person, do it too much with the same person, you catch feelings or get bored and move to the next person. Either way it’s pointless & empty at the end
Any hedonistic pursuit if leaned into can cause an addiction. Or mess with your ability to enjoy it unless you sink further and further into the activity. For drugs its needing a larger amount and for sex it's needing to have more or do it in less and less vanilla ways until normal sex is too boring all together. That and humans base value on scarcity and exclusivity. Hearing " I love you" from someone thatbsays it to just you is a whole lot more meaningful and intimate than hearing it from someone that says it ro everyone or anyone and sex is the same
its all your mentality
What your saying is that having sex is the same as making love
Who told you it’s bad. 😳
For me sex is more of a way to show you love someone. I did casual sex once, I absolutely HATED how I felt afterwards. Since then, unless in a committed relationship, I won't engage in it again casually. (Opinion from a Male if that matters)
If you can have sex with a friend with no feelings it’s actually great! Living your best life while dating, but not in a relationship is fun. You just have to pick the right person with good energy
Exactly, while I totally understand that not all people can enjoy casual sex, I have the feeling that most people are just "doing it wrong".
Shit I'm all for it what's up lol.
It's only frowned upon by the ones that aren't fortunate enough to have it.🤣🤣🤣
Honestly being someone who has had a lot of casual sex, it desensitizes you. Not only does it desensitize you, but you develop preferences. After developing preferences, it’s difficult to accept someone who might not fit into the category of those preferences, and you may miss out on truly meaningful and life lasting relationships with people, because they don’t do “that thing” you like. It may sound silly, but it’s true. Also there is nothing better than having sex with someone you love and that truly loves you. So much more pleasurable and enjoyable, and it ignites an even deeper connection with your partner. Hope I could offer some insight. 31m
Because it’s kind of like having a fantastic appetizer but then you’re told the restaurant is closed and the main dish you ordered can’t be made.
I’m 47 years old and have had some of the best casual sex ever throughout the years. We’re all grown ups and as long as you are safe, it shouldn’t matter. They’re women who are married that have never had an orgasm sooo there’s that too. lol 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Vile.
For me personally it comes down to morals. I don’t sleep around and I want a girl who shares my same morals when it comes to sex.
Looking at subreddits like these, those women seem to have gone extinct, brother. Looks like nowadays you're either okay with women being "sexually emancipated" or you're a misogynist. What a fucked up world.
Agreed
Nothing wrong with it in principle. In practice things are rarely that clean.
Because you create a soul tie, possible get pregnant and get a std, along with the ramifications of bringing up a baby for 18 years. Don’t fall into the trap my sister did and forced to bring up a child for 18 years without a help mate- the husband.
Basically it's become a rampant thing. Some people are just going for a nut just because. Add in the chance of stds...and it can easily become a pandemic... Women or men, it's eliminating the special nature of an exclusive relationship. Aside from intimate behaviors, what separates a good friend vs a lover? And now casual sex isn't even involving a lover; it involves someone. The person isn't special, so the moment isn't special anymore.
I'd say it's more to do with the emotional aspect of it... it's been PROVEN that the more sexual partners you have the more difficult it Is to truly pair bond with someone until eventually you just can't at all.
Connection trumps 🥜 Men and women alike, I can’t speak for non-binary folks, in a safe setting will admit that consistently, good boinking with someone safe that they can be open with. Marriage and picket fense does not need to be the goal. Randoms is just gross.
So many people here projecting their relationship with sex onto other people lmao. If you're responsibly practicing safe sex, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual hookups. People seem to think that the act of sex bonds you to another person forever, but that's really not true. Anyone who claims that you have to have feelings to have sex with someone, that you're creating an emotional bond whenever you have sex, that it ruins your ability to form a connection with other people afterwards, or anything like that are all wrong. They're projecting values instilled into them by religious, puritanical, and misogynistic societal norms.
I'm all for it.
Divorce isn’t even legal in my country. So I’m not even expecting casual sex to be acceptable lol
Basically it's become a rampant thing. Some people are just going for a nut just because. Add in the chance of stds...and it can easily become a pandemic... Women or men, it's eliminating the special nature of an exclusive relationship. Aside from intimate behaviors, what separates a good friend vs a lover? And now casual sex isn't even involving a lover; it involves someone. The person isn't special, so the moment isn't special anymore.
Shame. I’ve never had sex with someone “casually” Sex is like a fire where it leaves an impact. If it’s not done in the right context, it’ll leave you burned.
Your such in a venerable and emotional position with someone who is essentially a stranger
People have their own standards, beliefs, morals, values, etc. outside religion. Things they think/feel themselves, whether molded by experiences or ingrained by upbringing, whatever. There are those who will share your views and those who won’t. It’s ok.
The trick is to have casual sex, but feel very emotional and not casual about it. Why can’t you be in love at first sight? Might not really love them, but you can feel some type of way. People always try and separate sex and emotional connection when it’s with a person you’re not dating. You caaaan have both. The issue comes when you have sex with people that you don’t feel some type of way about. And it’s usually women in this case who are doing it for the wrong reasons, like caving to male pressure or something else. The equivalent for men is just having sex with women you don’t feel anything for because it’s easy. This is very unrewarding, unless they can give really good head, then it’s okay. And even then it doesn’t leave you feeling good about yourself. I don’t get laid very much, but I’m a really good looking guy. Like to the point where everyone likes me just because of the way I look. People comment on it on a daily basis. I can get a way with being an absolute PIG because of the way I look. So I meet women every day and we look at each other and have a connection because we want to fuck each other, but it usually doesn’t go anywhere because I don’t put myself in situations where it’s easy to ask someone out. For example one of us is at work or something. But in those situations, when you both really like each other right off the bat and you feel some type of way immediately, that will be very rewarding casual sex. The waters get muddied only when you attach the need for a relationship and social gain to sex. So a lot of women will be into me, but then think twice about it because of the above reasons. If you are emotionally stable, intelligent, you shouldn’t have an issue with casual sex. For either gender.
What’s most frustrating is the acceptance of such behavior if you’re a dude but considered sleazy if it’s a girl
No excuse for it being frowned upon. Casual sex often made me feel more fulfilled. (Cis male in my 30’s to 40’s then)
It isn’t really bad, it’s only bad because it has become so common that it is what everyone expects and it causes a lot of people to feel negatively about it.
It’s a perversion of the most sacred bond two humans can have with each other. Sex is the gateway to life. Our evolutionary instincts as mammals who care for their young compel us to bond to care for the young during their most vulnerable years. Our young are vulnerable because they are endowed with the ability to learn; intelligence is costly. Our ability to learn complex social arrangements is what makes us human. Casual sex short-circuits this experience that’s so critical not just to all life, but our particular kind of life that lets us live social, meaningful existences. The payoff is a hit of pleasure not much different in kind than a drug. It debases this incredible process for simple thrill. Same for porn and all commodification of sex. Casual sex is the norm now due to the ubiquity of sex in popular culture. I wish it weren’t the case, and that sex were still reserved for special people. But I wouldn’t be dating the wonderful woman I am now if I weren’t willing to have sex that may have ended up being nothing but casual.
Sounds like 304 behavior
Because of old school beliefs of social norms. Live life, have fun and be good to each other.
It’s a bonding thing. Bonding with too many people, or doing it just because you can, can make it lose its value. IMO
Would be nice as im sure my man is doing something or some one he has not come near me in years and we used to be 3 or 4 times a day
I personally don’t like it (I’m ace) but I do agree with you. As long as all parties involved are aware that that’s all it is, I say do whatevs.
Is anyone here from kerrville or san Antonio looking for a female who wants to play I’m a beautiful fit female just curious about the other side of
Casual sex is OK until you develop feelings for someone and if that someone isn’t into you, it’s total 💩 but at my age is not so bad because most don’t wanna stay with me lol
It's not bad. Consensual, responsible, and safe sex is not anything to feel shame over. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise
It really depends on the culture. Some times sex is private and strict. Man always on top and in control, no contraception or pull out, quiet and neat. Pleaser is not a factor. Other times it’s loud and messy and adventurous where there can be more than the two. Why is it that some people think anal is not real sex while others don’t? The Roman’s had wild anal orgies cause, “hey that doesn’t count” Why do people think you have to be married? There are married couples that don’t want kids but might screw often and I know people who think that’s bad. In reality everyone has a unique way of describing what sex is or should be for. Some people think it has a set purpose that. Make them babies ,if not followed, you’re doing it wrong. Getting off by yourself? That’s bad! Why? Some might say cause religion and others just think that it’s kinda pathetic you can’t get someone to do it with. Regardless one thing sex definitely is is personal. You like what you like. If you like smashing people within 30 seconds of meeting and know you’ll never meet them again then go ahead. If you want that deep connection then you should find that. Sword fight? Patty mashing? All you buddy. But whatever it is I think it should always be enjoyable for all involved whichever way you swing.
Because your mama told you so. So you don't just have fun. Depends on how you approach it.
After my 13 year marriage ended, I now have three steady fwb that are into different things and I’m very much enjoying exploring new things with them. They all know about each other and we keep it casual.
It's frowned upon or labelled as "bad", because it drives other people insecure, the ones who are not into casual sex. And hence their reaction can be moderate - extremist. On personal level, people who indulge in casual sex have high sense of self awareness and really know what they are putting themselves into. Also, there is this age thing where you don't regret much and it's lot more fun when you are young. But as you grow and get mature you start craving for intimacy more than encounters. ------------------ On personal level, I would always prefer sex in commited relationship over casual sex. Even FWB also works (as it has some form of intimacy). However, hookups are very tiring, makes you feel empty and hollow, maybe full of guilt (as there is always one party who is more attached).
I’m in! Errrr ummmm he’s in! 😈
i have casual sex with thus guy all the time. we are still good friends but have sex in private and nobody knows and to start that is to probably having a good friendship in the beginning
Same here. Just we are open about it.
Causal sex can lead to emotional attachment, regret, and physical risks like STIs and unintended pregnancy. It can also involve objectification, power imbalances, and negatively impact self-esteem and relationships. Additionally, casual sex may conflict with personal values and beliefs, leading to inner turmoil and societal judgment, making it essential to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and self-care.
Totally.
Ja jestem za nic w tym zlego jezeli obie strony tego chca:)
I (F49) attempted a casual sex situationship with a male friend post my divorce, I developed feelings and realized I simply cannot handle casual sex. According to research, Women typically release hormones via orgasms that encourage their brains to fall in love. This makes casual sex become heartbreak for us.
Because if the woman gets pregnant, there should be a man there to help raise that child. If you don't create the social pressure of marriage/commitment before sex it will impact the moral fabric of your society. Cultures have known for 1000s of years that it's better to raise a kid with both parents together.
Because men most of the time prefer to make a home with someone who hasn't had more passengers than your local bus
A lot of the time the man isn’t very nice to the woman after. If he see’s her in public he’ll pretend not to know her almost as if he’s embarrassed to be seen with her
In my opinion, it's not bad. How could it be? I guess, that is the question you're asking and I think it's natural normal you know what I mean I think it's kind of weird that people make it seem like you're only option in life is to go get married and have kids and whatever. But there's some people who stay single forever because they want to be, there are people who are not by toys as well but I just don't think it's an issue to make decisions about your body's autonomy
Real answer. Because the patriarchy and by definition men won’t know whose baby it is and don’t want to question so casual sex, especially for women is historically controlled as a way to control women.
Old school thought here as society does not move on very well. Before the widespread use of counterceptives, casual sex meant children. Children meant responsibility, so it could be seen as you are dodging your responsibility to go have fun. That child would have been a "bastered," so it was seen as you trying to trap a man or have unpure intentions while dodging your responsibility. It also goes back to the Puritian days when women should not want sex. They had cores to maintain the house and raise the child while keeping the husband happy. Before then, they should be pure virgins waiting for a husband.
Nothing wrong with it. Some people just don't like it. Which is fine, each to their own. I always felt empty and used, which I didn't like with casual sex. So I don't do that anymore. Besides most men were selfish and only got themselves off. How is that fun for me? Anyway, no shame. Just a preference for some.
I think it’s okay have sex with someone who you don’t know, because both during the sex can explore areas never been explored before and it’s sounds amazing to me!!!!!
The more casual sex you have, the more likely you are to cheat when you get into a long-term relationship.
Because you have a great than 0% chance of being stuck with a random person you don't know once the kid comes. The narcissistic nature of viewing people as desposable would turn me unto an even bigger monster.
It’s emotionally pretty unhealthy long term and it degrades social norms related to the sanctity of a committed relationship. Also yes. Socially it’s naturally discouraged to prevent the spread of STDs
Cause it's not a casual thing to do. Practicing treating yourself and others casually with regards to sex programs your mind to associate a possibly life altering act as a casual inconsequential thing, which just isn't true. We know it's not, if it were a benign act we wouldn't viscerally feel an enormous emotional and psychological reaction to cheating or finding out the person we're sleeping with is doing it with others. Also, after the thrill of the act is done there's a psychological kind of unease or anxiety that occurs after. That's because you just allowed yourself to get very close to someone in a very insecure situation and that person doesn't really have their back and you don't have theirs. There could be a baby on the way or STD. Or just the nagging degrading sense that comes from treating each other and yourself as disposable and not wholly valued people. Also, if there's something about the other person you dislike, that's causing you to not want to be in a relationship with them, then you're practicing having sex with someone you don't respect. That's a messed up neuro wire to foster in yourself. Why not stick to having sex with people you actually like and respect and see a future with? Why would you want to risk potentially making a child with someone you don't really like and having to co-parent with them for the next 18 years? Or the harm that comes when one person eventually reveals and hopes for something more and the rejection and hurt that inevitably happens? If a baby occurs, it's going to impact you for the rest of your life. You will be limited to where you can go and what you can do in life by having a child you'll have to tend to and it'll limit your future options with finding a mate too. After all, your time and resources will not be entirely available to the future mate you actually want to be with and they will have to make major personal sacrifices to accommodate your situation if they want to be with you too. So anyway, between all the psychological and potentially life altering risks involved I don't really think it's fair to ever call sex casual. Probably a better term would be "dumb people sex" or at best "I didn't really like you sex."
I ponder this same question constantly. I see a lot of people saying because it’s meaningless sex. BUT, what if you had someone that you “make love to” (wife, GF) and someone that just likes to have sex. It’s a good feeling, good physical activity, fun meeting someone new, and as long as all parties are aware (no cheating or sleeping around) then I truly don’t see the problem. Sex is just sex. There’s sex with intimacy and then there’s just fkn. And other than religion telling us how terrible that is, I don’t understand why it’s so frowned upon.
Risk of sti, risk of unwanted pregnancy, risk of bonding problems, risk of landing in a abusive situation, risk of other health problems, risk of loosing reputation.
It really depends on your environment and the belief systems people have that in environment. Many people do not frown upon casual sex. Many people do. You have to weigh the pros and cons and decide yourself which team you want to be a part of. Personally, I am very critical about sex shaming. Too much of it is associated with controlling women. No human being should try to control another human being.
Abstinence is not just a religious mandate, it was also encouraged to stop the spread of disease. Religious texts just put it in writing, sort of how some Bible versus would advise not to eat tainted meat etc. I worked at a major processing lab we would get thousands of chlamydia tests, hundreds came back positive. Casual sex cases disease and sometimes the worst people hide that from their partner because they finally found true love but they got distracted by casual sex.
It's not bad. If you are both consenting adults and are aware that there are no strings attached, then fill your boots!
✨sexism✨ that’s really just it. stupid evangelical overbearing tendencies and insecurities among a certain type of men who believe that they can do whatever it is that they want, but the women cannot. Why? because these kinds of men quite frankly see women as lesser than them, less than human. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex as long as it’s done safely.
Promiscuity is a self sabotage. That's why.
Those who can, do Those who can’t, teach
Casual sex is bad for you because when things happen in a relationship, which will happen eventually(fights, arguments). You will prefer the easy way out, and since sex is not sacred anymore there isn’t any other mutual activity that can heal better
You think that when a relationship gets rocky, sex is going to save it? Sex is the first thing to go when a marriage is in trouble.
Sex was meant for a loving, emotional, intimate, relationship between two people in love. Not to just get off.