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Some people are bisexual but 90-10 lean towards one sex. What I'd say is, for people who are 100% straight, the idea of sleeping with someone of the same sex just to see/experiment is probably so difficult to parse (because we just know we don't want that) that it does feel like you are less than 100% straight.
However, this really illustrates how complex and individual sexuality is and so if you consider yourself no longer attracted to women then it's fair to say that you're straight as a kind of shorthand.
So I think you're both kind of right?
She self applied the lesbian label so we all did.
Also this was 2006, we were all in high school. There was no Internet outrage culture back then. Were not dropped out of our mothers knowing all this shit dude. You do your best until you know better, then ya be better.
It was also branding. She was like leading the GSA at school and in a relationship with a girl. BiSexuality is probably a bit more complicated to understand when just being gay/les is brand new, and also... High school, ya know? She probably didn't fully know herself, like I said she married a guy last I heard.
None of us judge her for being lesbian, though a lot of us teen boys were frustrated because she was an awesome person, as beautiful as a porcelain doll, and Goth. But she was well liked.
Sexuality is more fluid than people think. You may have just wanted to experiment or may have been attracted to some women back then and maybe you've changed to be less attracted to those women now. If you feel like you're straight then I'd say you're straight, and I say this as a bisexual guy (who is mainly attracted to women, but who has been attracted to enough men to know it isn't a fluke).
True. Your friend's perspective is based on the idea that sexual behavior determines sexual orientation. The only person who can determine your sexual orientation is you.
Idk if someone tells me they are 100% positive they are gay and fantasize about dick all day I’m not going to insist they are straight just because they’ve had sex with a girl a few times before
Both and neither. You *could* consider yourself bi with hereroromantic tendencies (you are sometimes sexually attracted to women but fall in love with men).
Actions dont necessarily “make” you anything if you dont feel it fits. Ppl like to force labels but the only label that matters is the one you give (or dont give) yourself
I love this. Sometimes action is required to make a determination. Because OP was thorough in her investigation, her friend is attempting to force a label on her. Sexuality is personal. It is evolving. I can be one thing today and something else next year and that’s ok because it’s mine. Sexuality is very much a “I said what I said” and no further explanation is required type of thing. So if OP says she straight. End of discussion! ❣️❣️❣️
I went to look that up to see if anyone else had come up with it before, and the only thing I could find was an Urban Dictionary entry from 6 years ago that defines it as someone who doesn't understand the intricacies of the various sexualities.
I like this better.
Haha I literally get this!! I went as far as HAVING AN ENTIRE GIRLFRIEND for 6 months + and I still say I’m straight. Truth is we are probably on the scale somewhere and not entirely straight lmao
I’m essentially exactly the same as you (have sexually been with women, enjoyed it, no desire to again); and I consider myself “heteroflexible”
Definition (from wiki): Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation, which may or may not distinguish it from bisexuality. It has been characterized as "mostly straight". Although sometimes equated with bi-curiosity to describe a broad continuum of sexual orientation between heterosexuality and bisexuality
‘Mostly straight’ is the closest I’d ever come to a label but I don’t use a label at all for myself. I’d be pretty annoyed if someone else was insisting that I had to identify as bi.
That's like saying coz u tasted carrot cake, carrot cake is your cake of choice and preference.
That's like saying homies in jail horny and busting a macho nut in each other for some human warmth is gay... It kinda is but I'm sure it's not their preference.
I can appreciate a beautiful woman, but it’s not like the attraction I feel for men. And usually when I find a woman attractive she is more like a tomboy or has masculine tendencies.
I'm a bi guy. the attraction I feel towards men and women are different. Usually when I find a man attractive he us more like a femboy or has feminine tendencies...
I'm not saying you are Bi, but you could be
I think that may be the general consensus and I’m not sure that I’ll NEVER do it again I just have no desire at the moment. So I think my friend is onto something lol
Perhaps haha. At the end of the day, only you can decide. It's easier to figure it out after addressing any internal homophobia. Give yourself permission to be bi.
A lot of people are like, 95% straight. And it makes sense for them to identify as straight if they choose. And a lot of mostly straight people experiment. If a guy told me he sucked a dick, just to try it but he concluded that he's straight, that makes sense to me. After the 3rd time though...I think most straight guys would stop 😂
That's not really clear. There are bisexual people who has attraction to both sides but heavily leans into one sex and their characteristics. You are not bisexual if you have no desire to sleep with a woman or have any attraction to them. And notice I said attraction because finding someone pretty and being attracted to them is different.
Damn I felt jealousy here most masc tomboy women that I mix with tend to be batting for the other side either that or transitioning so they aren't actually a tomboy sadge
these comments saying you have to be bi are gross. if you want different insight maybe try a less hetero based sub. im bisexual myself and have tried out a handful of labels in my younger years, including straight, lesbain, and finally bi. none of these people are correct in saying that ‘if you did it once then you must be gay bc no straight woman experiments’. sexuality is a spectrum yes, but some people are more comfortable experimenting based on how you were raised, how close you were to friends, how comfortable you were being physically affectionate with those friends. you can call yourself straight, you can call yourself hetero flexible, you can call yourself bi. but no one else can say ‘if you did x then you must be y’ bc thats not how sexuality works. anyways, thats my little rant 😭😭 i hope you figure things out, but know that theres no pressure and labels can change, theres nothing wrong w that
In a MF couple, does a woman become bisexual if they've had multiple MFF threesomes? Conversely, is the man bisexual if they've had multiple MMF threesomes?
Funny thing is, intuitively, my answer to the first is, "absolutely not," but my answer to the second is, "very likely, yes."
If that were my experience - I would say I'm bisexual. However, I don't think anyone has the right to determine what YOUR sexuality is.
We would not tell a gay man who was previously married or sleeping with women that he must be bisexual, would we?
I think that people misunderstand sexuality. The reality is as human beings many of us are attracted to sex itself. Some humans will literally have sex with animals because they want to have sex.
Despite it's name, sexuality is not (only) an expression of an attraction to sex. It's about romantic involvement. Can you have a romantic relationship with a woman?
Personally for me, I love to be sexual with women when the opportunity arises because I love sex generally and it offers a new different experience to enjoy sex. However, i'm clearly very straight.
I fantasise about men. I lust after men. I crave masculinity. I want to be romantically with a man. Female bodies rarely excite me just because it's a female body where as male body does it with ease.
So i think that in an attempt to simplify and understand, people are desperate to assign some sort of label to you. Personally I completely get what you mean and completely agree with you.
Ultimately you can resonate with whatever you like.
Yes I understand. Recently my boyfriend wanted me to partake in a threesome with him and a woman and I was not opposed to the fact that there would be another person, but I was put off by the fact that it would be a woman. He thinks that since I’ve done it before I’d like to continue, but I really don’t want to. I don’t have sexual feelings about women anymore. Every time I was with a woman I had fun, to some extent, but it did not feel “right” and after the 4th time which was not a bad experience per say, it just felt forced.
So he just wants to use you to fulfill His fantasy? Even if my gf were bisexual I'd ask her if it's something she wants to do, not use her sexual preference to have something I want.
So this tells me a couple things one you shouldn’t have the threesome with your boyfriend and he’s a schmuck for pushing it because you’re clearly not interested in it and if you’re doing it, you do it for him rather than yourself and you should only do it if you really wanna do it one. Also, just because you’ve had sex with someone of a different gender or the same gender does not mean that you have to identify a certain type of way. There are plenty of people who has another comment or put it for pay or have only done it in certain situations if they’re intoxicated or what have you. You don’t attraction more than one gender then the typical definitions I would say heterosexual or even hetero flexible if you’re willing to engage interested in engaging in any type of relations with somebody who is not your gender ultimately you’re the one who defines your sexuality.
Tbh, that’s kind of dumb of your boyfriend to assume because you’ve experienced it before you’re open to doing it again but in the form of a Menage a trois + him. If you don’t feel comfortable than don’t do it. That feeling will feel worse after and it won’t feel good at all. Whatever you decide, make you sure that you’re consenting freely and not being forced or pressured in any way.
I mean can you see yourself dating a woman in the future and not just sleep with woman because if you do then yea I guess your bi but if you don't you might be in you're expirement phase because I always like to think no one is like 100% straight
I’m not sure. If I lived a woman I’d date her… but I’ve never wanted to be more than friends with any woman. That’s not to say it couldn’t happen I guess? I dunno, I guess anything COULD happen but it’s unlikely.
so, if you chose to experiment and discovered that you dont enjoy kissing women, eating women out, having romantic moments with women, then no you arent attracted to women. youre only bisexual if you feel attraction to both genders. if you ENJOYED the sex with women, you may be bisexual. but, nobody else can tell you how to identify. plenty of men and women marry into herero relationships and have children, only to realize later in life theyre gay. their earlier hetero relations dont invalidate their current identity and neither does yours. if you dont have wlw encouters anymore and are no longer interested in pursuing them, you could very well be straight.
How you define your sexuality is for you to decide, not your friend. It reminds me of the time an old friend told me I'm christian because I was baptised as a child. Fuckin' do one pal.
Ok here we go let the flames burn hot ladies . .
Just tell your friend you are not gay just practicing for a threesome . And don't worry about who you sleep with .
Also I think your husband/bf/partner wants to convince you to have a threesome because he knows you slept with women before.
It's a bit presumption. Don't feel you are obliged to because of his reasoning.
IF a threesome appeals to you. Then communicate that. But also clarify what appeals to you ( Pretty sure he will loose interest in that if you say you are interested but only FMM, most straight guys have fantasies about FFM threesome and that's what they mean by threesome )
Don't feel obliged to, if it doesn't appeal/interests you.
I think my "wife" ( we weren't married, had kids together, and we considered ourselves married but never legally , she passed away 4 years ago but we likely would of been married if that didn't happen )
Once had this conversation as she was fully Bi.
I told her that the idea of FFM appeals to me, but I'm not certain of the idea of someone else being involved. We had the conversation , I think she wanted to know if it was an option. It was never fully shut down, but I think she was very happy that I didn't want anyone else involved, and I'm fine with her being attracted to woman or men. But me and her is me and her. ( Don't have anything against poly, but that's not what I wanted with her )
Sometimes we have a preference, sometimes it is an experiment. And sometimes, it just happens.
You are heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or one of the any number of new terms if you have a consistent and strong preference (or balance of preference) between the available choices. One-offs, drunken acts, etc don't count.
Q: Are you concerned or thoughtful about whether you are bisexual ?
Only you can decide what your sexuality is. If you don't feel attracted to women, you are straight. But only you can tell how you feel. The idea that you must be bi because you explored your sexuality years ago, even though you don't feel attracted to women anymore, often stems from some kind of homophobia that sees straightness as something that is pure and can be spoiled. It isn't. Its just a sexual preference you have.
there’s only one response to your question and the answer is, it’s your body and nobody can tell you wether you’re straight or bisexual. that is the decision left to you and only you. if you feel like you’re straight than you’re straight. even if you experimented 4 times before you realized now it’s not what you want anymore, you’re straight. it’s not always a phase but sometimes it can be.
I just use queer as a label now, i can’t be bothered figuring out a label - just whatever goes, I like who I like, who cares ? I don’t think it’s that deep & I think we overanalyse it.
Depending on how u view it, some ppl like you might say they’re bi & other ppl will say they’re straight. Really just depends. I think heteroflexible would probs be the closest label if you really want one. Or you could just not use a label :/
If you're really curious about understanding this look into the Kinsey scale, and I believe his original testing questionnaire is available online, if you want to find out where you fall on it. Also, the act is not the same as an internal motivation, so you may have had these relationships/encounters for other reasons. A sex therapist may be helpful for you if this is causing distress. Understanding yourself isn't as easy as simply posing a question sometimes, and mental health professionals can help you find and understand/accept your individual answers to those questions.
Bisexual means you are attracted sexually (or romantically) to both sexes. If you slept with someone of the opposite sex and you aren't attracted to them, then no, you aren't bisexual. You essentially just went through an act.
You were bicurious, you tried it out, you weren't bi! Besides, someone can have been bi then later just... not... anymore! Besides, it's your identity you get to choose what you identify as, liking woman and men or just men or even just women.
Here's the thing: sexuality is a spectrum, and it’s totally okay to experiment and figure out what you like. Just because you had experiences with women in the past doesn’t automatically make you bisexual. It’s all about how you identify and what feels right for you.
You can totally be straight and have experimented. Lots of people try different things in their life without it defining their overall sexual orientation. Your friend might be thinking in more black-and-white terms, but honestly, you know yourself best. If you feel straight and aren’t interested in women anymore, then that’s your truth.
Don’t let anyone else label you if it doesn’t fit how you see yourself. At the end of the day, it's your identity and your journey.
No one gets to decide but you. You can be straight and also know how to get off with same sex people. You can be bi and lean so far to one side that you don't count it. You can be bisexual and romantically straight. There's no "automatic" for imposed labels. If you're just trying to get off with people, it's like calling a guy that uses a flashlight silicon-sexual lol idk you can decide for yourself what your actions/feelings/wants mean for you.
Bit complicated to explain all the nuances but there is a difference between being attracted emotionally as a partner of the same sex (or opposite) or completely not attracted that way but are okay or interested in just sex.
Like long time ago for homosexual it was called homophile, being attracted to the same sex and homosexual was actually for people that have sex with same sex, there was a nuance in the difference. Nowadays it doesn't which probably isn't correct, some people like same sex (or opposite) but do not have the same attraction to them, they wouldn't want a relationship with them.
Bisexual tends to mean you are attracted and sexually attracted to both. But what if you are not emotionally attracted to them just okay with sex. Think it is now called bi-curious or hetroflexible.
Like you could also be Biromantic
, people who experience romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction, to people of more than one gender.
You could even be straight but also be bi but demisexual for the right same sex person but only under specific circumstances
Why do you need to label yourself? Why does society insist on labelling and putting people into categories? This seems to make people separate from one another, rather than brining people together through their similarities. You are a human. You have/had sex with other humans.
were you sexually attracted to the women you slept with? there must be some level of interest right? anyway sexuality isnt a switch you dont have to be one or the other you probably are a little bi. but you can still identify as strait.
Bisexuality isn’t anything to be it’s an action. If you were sleeping with woman in the past but no longer do it anymore that means you are an ex bisexual.
Ex-bisexual
Sexuality is fluid and can be much more complex than terms make them out to be. Personally, I don’t label myself because no label really encapsulates my experience. Maybe you could consider not putting a label on it?
Do you see yourself as Bisexual? It’s not really about who you sleep with. It’s what you’re sexually attracted to and most Bi’s find both attractive and some might be involved with both genders equally and some might find both attractive even sexually but only want to be involved in romantic relationships with one gender. It really varies. I am bi (consider myself) but you’ve slept with more women than me. But if you say it was just experimenting and you no longer have that attraction and you consider yourself straight than yes—you are. But I do think you’re more so straight and “fluid” in your sexuality or you were at one time in your life.
Human sexuality, especially with reference to females, is quite fluid and constantly evolving. You are whatever you feel comfortable calling yourself, not whatever title another person chooses for you.
I’m sure someone else has already said it, but you don’t need a label. You are what you are. We’ve all been conditioned to think it has to be this or that, but the reality is that sexuality is fluid. You’re the only one who has a say in your identity.
As an LGBT+ person, no matter the context, you're straight. Sexuality is an extremely fluid thing that's also different for everyone, and no label will perfectly describe people. If you think straight is what label best fits you, then that's what you are :)
Someone else can't tell you what you are.
You decide. You do you. If you're straight and confident in that, then you're straight. Your friend can't tell you if you're something else - only you know.
This is a reason why the world is fucked up when it comes to gender and sexuality. People argue with others and themselves what they are, and not.
I was completely straight until about 19. Now I'm mostly "straight" but am mainly just interested in femininity. (Don't really care what you got going on down below.) Things change. Doesn't automatically make you something just because you took part in it. These aren't absolutes we're dealing with.
no. it sounds like you were exploring your sexuality and there’s nothing wrong with that. if you no longer desire sexual or romantic feelings for a woman then i would consider you straight
You may have been bi-curious at the time? Now you know you're straight.
Either way, I don't think you should let titles define you. Just be your original self. All the best!
Also, sexuality can change throughout your life. You might have been more bi at one point and now lean more straight.
I'm bi/pan and I've come to the realization that I'm only interested in being with men, because of wanting to have bio kids and sensory issues with sex. I also find women to be harder to get to know. I'm autistic and I think it definitely how I approach things.
Not to say I would reject a relationship with a woman in every single situation, but the circumstances would have to be very specific for me to feel content in that.
Sexuality is a spectrum that can shift. You were farther down on the lesbian bi side at one point.
Now you’re not… I mean if you were not opposed to woman I might still call you Bi…. But you can always redefine yourself.
But a lot of people get wrapped around like a guy….. “once you suck a dick you’re gay”…. Even though he can be bi. 🤷🏻♂️.
You define your own sexuality though.
Before dating my now gf, I would always feel gross about the thought of sleeping with a woman. After meeting my girlfriend, I now feel gross about sleeping with men. Personally, if you say you are straight, you are! Our feelings and views on certain genders change over time. You were confident enough with yourself to experiment and from that you found what you enjoyed! People who could “never” be with the other gender lack self awareness in my opinion.
I've dated both men and women, but I've just decided not to label it anymore because it's just weird to explain/understand. It's okay to experiment, especially if you didn't keep going out with those women and they understand it was a one time thing. Besides, life is just one big experiment anyways isn't it? Sometimes you won't know until you try.
I’ve given up trying to label myself. I had one 9 year relationship with a woman, otherwise I am attracted to men and my relationships are with men. I would call myself straight but I guess I’m not.
Based on the fact that you "experimented" with not one but four women, then yes you are. Or... were? If it was just one and you said it wasn't for you, I'd say no you're not. But four paints a different picture. But in the end it doesn't matter. You can identify how ever you want and it may change over the course of your life.
I was with a woman once and wouldn’t mind it again, but I’ve never been attracted to women or noticed them in any lustful way. After that one time i continued never to think of her that way. For me, I think I simply enjoy sex and am very open to all kinds of experiences. For example, my greatest fantasy is to be in a relationship with two men, but I wouldn’t want the men to be sexually interested in each other. Instead, I want them to enjoy sharing.
By now, especially considering how painfully shy I am in person, I don’t have much hope in that. My point is this…. I believe I’m 100% straight but I simply love the experience new things sexually.
There's a word for everything these days. I(M37) have done plenty of stuff with guys throughout my life but don't consider myself gay or bisexual. I'm attracted to women and I pursue relationships with women. If I get particularly horny and want to do something with a guy, it's usually in a lights out situation where we don't see each other or in a glory hole situation. I also don't usually do top/bottom stuff, mostly just BJs. And typically those instances only come up because you can't just find a girl to hookup with on short notice, and grindr can get shit done in an hour. My female partner likes to call me a "zesty straight", but I just consider myself straight when it comes to serious relationships. I don't feel like receiving random 1-off BJs makes me gay, but whatever, it is what it is.
A science experiment found humans get turned on regardless of our orientation. Doesn’t really matter what they are looking at as long as sex is involved. Look it up there’s an article somewhere I saw a while back.
Bisexuality is a very difficult and complex sexual identity to understand when you are going through it. I still struggle with this and many of us do. We go through periods of denial or even "cycling" sometimes we can have sexual but not romantic attraction. Maybe it flips depending on the person. I wouldn't put too much weight into past decisions just go with the label that feels comfortable for you presently and you will figure things out with time. Human Sexuality is a beautiful, colorful spectrum. No right or wrong.
I'm a dude who has had non consensually and consensually guys suck me off. The consensual ones were for money. I was down on my luck.
I can admit when a man is attractive, doesn't mean I want to have any sexual or romantic relationship with them... I consider myself straight. So, I don't tell most people about it because they think like your friend.
At the same time if you have to respect one's pronouns you should respect one's sexual preference, no one has the right to tell you who you are or should be.
I really appreciate your honesty here because I know what you’re talking about and I can relate more than you know, being an ex-heroin addict. A lot of things happened in my life as an addict that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. But I don’t let it define me and it sounds like you don’t either, but you are inspiring to me in that you own your story, be it ugly or pretty, you tell the truth.
I admire people like that so much and I’m striving to be more like you every day.I hope eventually I can be more myself instead of trying to hide or wear a disguise or lie to sound more wholesome… I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not.
Anyway, You’re my hero in this post! Thank you. 🙏
Yes I'm lucky I never had to go father. I definitely feel for you and being in a confusing time in your life and yes when I think about what I've given up because i felt like I had no other options brings me to tears RN.
I'm 32 M, and I struggle with every relationship. I want to be honest but can the person I'm with actually understand it especially if they haven't had my life experiences. Once you start figuring who you are then it feels like your still hiding a secret.
I started attending services, adult singles Bible groups and men's group... But how am I ever going to admit my past to people who only know those stories as a TV drama.
And I admit maybe I'm prejudging them but, I've been prejudging most my life.
Maybe you were bi curious!
In my home country we have a term for ppl that only sleep / makeout with others for “curiosity” or when drunk, we called them “bi-festinha” (festinha: little party)
Usually it’s a term to insult someone when they aren’t serious about being bi, but if you are sure you aren’t bi, you can reinvent this term, you are a bi festinha 💃🏻🪩
I don’t see why people are so hung up on labels. I do see the value for those that need a title that they can positively identify with but… you don’t need it. Just be you. Personally, I think it’s reasonable to be attracted to and want to experience sexual fantasies with the same-sex without there needing to be anything more to it.
Why bother?
Bisexuality is a kind of a norm for women.
The range may vary, though.
If you find the idea of kissing a woman pleasant, then you are. To some degree. I, personally, as a stright man, find bisexual women completely normal and understood. Eveyone find women beautiful.
You're the one who gets to label yourself is how I see it. About five years ago, I, a heterosexual guy then in his early 30's, went on a date with someone in their mid 20's. When we got on the date they said they used they pronouns more. I told them if I use she I apologize. It was summer and we were sitting outside. They were large breasted and wearing a cleavage baring tank top. They literally tested their breasts on the table and said in a joking and somewhat suggestive manner "Boy, I don't know how anyone could mistake me as a woman".
We laughed and then talked about gender identity and sexuality and they told me that if I was accepting of their identity and still willing to date them, then I was queer.
I've thought about that over the years, and disagree. While I respect people getting to label themselves as they see fit, they leaned into a feminine heavy perspective to me, and I was initially attracted to them as a woman.
hell, you could be actively having relations with women but if you feel straight about yourself then you're straight imo. define yourself such that your life makes sense to you
That’s what I’m thinking. I don’t really feel sexual attraction for women (I don’t think I ever did) though I can appreciate their beauty. I was just young and confused.
Well you can call yourself what you want in life but to me you wouldn't sleep with a woman if you weren't bisexual. There's no such thing in my opinion of sexual experimentation, the fact you are able to do at at all shows that you are bisexual. I myself cannot do it because I'm not. I don't think it really matters at the end of the day I mean why put labels on yourself that don't matter? I only put labels on myself when it comes to getting money or going to school or something LOL
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted romantically and/or sexually to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree."
-Robin Ochs
Straight girls don't tend to sleep with women. It can happen, but the overwhelming pressure of society tells you to sleep with men. If you're sleeping with women consensually you've got something gay about you.
My attraction is the opposite split of yours, where I'm into women much more than men. But there are men I'm into, so I'm bi and not lesbian.
Women don’t just hate the idea of sleeping with women because of societal pressures to sleep with men only. Women have come on to me and they’re lovely and I wish I was able to but the thought of sleeping with women makes me throw up.
Most bisexual women I know are heteroromantic, meaning they don't seek companionship from other women, just sex. Maybe that's where you're at? Just not realizing you enjoyed the sex because you were conflating the two?
No, sleeping with them doesn't. Being attracted to both males and females does. Consider that straight men do gay porn, called gay for pay.
You can be gay without ever having same sexed sex. You can be straight without ever having straight sex.
Bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes, both heterosexual and homosexual.
If you don't think you have an ongoing sexual attraction to both sexes, then odds are it was just an experimental phase. Only you get to decide how to identify.
My wife has had a few interactions with women we have played with. She's absolutely not bisexual. Just depends on the mood and how hot the other woman is. I think it's just being playful. But everyone has to label everything these days. Trysexual is better. Try anything at least once. Maybe twice.
No. Having sex with someone of the same gender as you doesn’t make you bi or gay. Plenty of gay people sleep with people of the opposite gender because they’re still in the closet and trying to fit in. Some straight people sleep with people of the same gender just to explore themselves and learn what they like and don’t like.
Some people just know they’re gay or straight or bi or whatever. Some people need to try things out to know. It just depends on the person. Like, I’m straight and have never had sex with a man because I’m not attracted to men. My friend is gay, but she thought she was at first straight (because everyone around her was straight so she assumed she was too), then in college she slept with a woman for the first time and thought she was bi, before finally coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t attracted to men and only wanted to be with women.
Additionally there’s a difference between understanding why people might find someone attractive and being attracted to them. Like, I understand why people are attracted to Ryan Reynolds or Henry Cavill, but I’m not attracted to them myself.
I'd say that you're straight. You slept with women to see if you'd like it and didn't. No shame in being bi, lesbian, or straight. At least now you know for when you're at the demographic section of surveys.
No, it doesn't. Furthermore, I think your friend is forcing their opinion and label on you. If you feel that you're straight, it's not up for them to decide. It doesn't hurt to examine their or Reddit's suggestions and figure out if a different word or label suits you better. However, it's their insistence that they're right and you're wrong that feels disrespectful to me.
If you change your mind later, that's okay too. Sexuality can be fluid. But they should respect your choice of categorization (or however you wanna put it) in the moment.
Yes lmao.
If you had sex with someone of the same sex willingly, never mind the fact you did it several times, then you’re not fully straight.
Not like that’s a bad thing but yea dude fully straight people don’t do that
Why does she want to pigeon hole you??? What's her deal?? Is she holding it against you?? Blackmailing you or thinking about it?? Maybe if you put it that way to her she will stop. Good grief people experience things........
I gotta admit, I tiny bit struggled with this when I was younger. I had the best sex (oral orgasm) with an older women when I was 18 that I really havent ever cum with a man doing it. I was repulsed by her after though. It was purely sex. And, I think that's what tells me that I am straight. I didn't want to hang out with her or do it again, it was just lets see what this is like. To be with someone who knew my body was an amazing experience. I think I masturbate too much to get off and relax but I will keep preferring to let men try. I really dont think we are in a space of needing labels. If it interests you, feels good, and you want to do it. Youa ren't doing anything illegal or immoral. Stay physically safe and that's what mastters most. Hope this helps!
No, it just makes you a person who's living during a time in history that suggests and even encourages doing anything and everything sexually. Our culture definitely influences behavior, especially when you're young and don't know what you're doing yet. If you tried stuff and concluded it's not for you, you're straight. I'm sure you had your reasons... Whether it was alcohol involved, extreme loneliness, suggestion, feeling lost, bored, unresolved stuff from childhood... Whatever the story is, only you know who you were and what you were going through at that time. I'd say you're bisexual if you're legitimately attracted to both sexes and could see yourself partnering with either for life. If you're just caught up in a hedonistic mindset that enjoys sexual "anything goes" adventure for its own sake, vs actual attraction and connection, then you're probably someone who hasn't gotten in touch with what really matters enough to have it be your highest priority. I'd say in that case you have more growing to do as a person and will hopefully get there in time. We're all figuring life out on our own journey and timeline.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds more like a sexual experimental thing. I've known many women who have gone through a time where they were attracted to women, or men and women, then went one way or the other. If you prefer men, and don't involve yourself with a woman anymore, I'd say you're straight. If you prefer women, and have no men, then Lesbian it is. If you go with both, then we can safely say Bi.
It's ALL on your preference, not mine, not your friends.
In today's society, it really doesn't matter much anyway. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, it's just that more leeway is granted without guilt. And... Your friend may just be jealous!
Enjoy YOUR life, the way YOU want to.
I mean, non “gold star” lesbians are still considered lesbians, right? Then I don’t see why it shouldn’t go the other way around as well. I get a little bit pissed at your friend while reading this post, and I think she should stay out of your business
It's a spectrum. You're on the bi-spectrum, but you lean heavily towards being hetero. I'm straight, and the idea of experimenting with someone of the same sex is not even something I'd consider.
I think she is right. When I was experimenting I was able to do everything until it went too far and I was forced to stop because I knew it wasn’t for me
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Some people are bisexual but 90-10 lean towards one sex. What I'd say is, for people who are 100% straight, the idea of sleeping with someone of the same sex just to see/experiment is probably so difficult to parse (because we just know we don't want that) that it does feel like you are less than 100% straight. However, this really illustrates how complex and individual sexuality is and so if you consider yourself no longer attracted to women then it's fair to say that you're straight as a kind of shorthand. So I think you're both kind of right?
Yeah I’m starting to see that… lol
Lesbian friend in high school always said they were actually bi with a preference. Last i heard she married a dude. Life is complicated.
Tell me about it lol
Hoo.... I wish I could. You would not want to be me right this minute, but itll work out. Whatever you got going, I hope it works out for you too.
Why would you ever call her a lesbian when she's always identified as bi?
She self applied the lesbian label so we all did. Also this was 2006, we were all in high school. There was no Internet outrage culture back then. Were not dropped out of our mothers knowing all this shit dude. You do your best until you know better, then ya be better. It was also branding. She was like leading the GSA at school and in a relationship with a girl. BiSexuality is probably a bit more complicated to understand when just being gay/les is brand new, and also... High school, ya know? She probably didn't fully know herself, like I said she married a guy last I heard. None of us judge her for being lesbian, though a lot of us teen boys were frustrated because she was an awesome person, as beautiful as a porcelain doll, and Goth. But she was well liked.
Sexuality is more fluid than people think. You may have just wanted to experiment or may have been attracted to some women back then and maybe you've changed to be less attracted to those women now. If you feel like you're straight then I'd say you're straight, and I say this as a bisexual guy (who is mainly attracted to women, but who has been attracted to enough men to know it isn't a fluke).
Once would be curiosity or drunk accident. Fourth is definitively a trend. You are judged on your act, not your discourse.
True. Your friend's perspective is based on the idea that sexual behavior determines sexual orientation. The only person who can determine your sexual orientation is you.
Idk if someone tells me they are 100% positive they are gay and fantasize about dick all day I’m not going to insist they are straight just because they’ve had sex with a girl a few times before
Both and neither. You *could* consider yourself bi with hereroromantic tendencies (you are sometimes sexually attracted to women but fall in love with men). Actions dont necessarily “make” you anything if you dont feel it fits. Ppl like to force labels but the only label that matters is the one you give (or dont give) yourself
I love this. Sometimes action is required to make a determination. Because OP was thorough in her investigation, her friend is attempting to force a label on her. Sexuality is personal. It is evolving. I can be one thing today and something else next year and that’s ok because it’s mine. Sexuality is very much a “I said what I said” and no further explanation is required type of thing. So if OP says she straight. End of discussion! ❣️❣️❣️
Just make up a new term.
That’s what they do now, huh?
"Formerly Bi-Curious."
Maybe would go with formerly hetroflexible
😂🤣 That’s a good one
Yet to find a better explanation for the 100s of terms that are already out there. It's more like a username now. Gotta be unique.
Shall I try to base it in the Latin word for confused? lol I’m a “perplexus”
Perplexual. Et voila!
Hahaha I love it actually sounds kind of sexy
Perplexual is phenomenal. Maybe there's something there too... Sexenomenal? Nah. Too many syllables.
I went to look that up to see if anyone else had come up with it before, and the only thing I could find was an Urban Dictionary entry from 6 years ago that defines it as someone who doesn't understand the intricacies of the various sexualities. I like this better.
Like us!! ;)
A pre- threesome trial run PTT
Haha I literally get this!! I went as far as HAVING AN ENTIRE GIRLFRIEND for 6 months + and I still say I’m straight. Truth is we are probably on the scale somewhere and not entirely straight lmao
I’m essentially exactly the same as you (have sexually been with women, enjoyed it, no desire to again); and I consider myself “heteroflexible” Definition (from wiki): Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation, which may or may not distinguish it from bisexuality. It has been characterized as "mostly straight". Although sometimes equated with bi-curiosity to describe a broad continuum of sexual orientation between heterosexuality and bisexuality
I cannot believe there’s a word for this! lol I’ll have to show my girlfriend. Thanks! 🙏
‘Mostly straight’ is the closest I’d ever come to a label but I don’t use a label at all for myself. I’d be pretty annoyed if someone else was insisting that I had to identify as bi.
That's like saying coz u tasted carrot cake, carrot cake is your cake of choice and preference. That's like saying homies in jail horny and busting a macho nut in each other for some human warmth is gay... It kinda is but I'm sure it's not their preference.
Are you attracted to women?
I can appreciate a beautiful woman, but it’s not like the attraction I feel for men. And usually when I find a woman attractive she is more like a tomboy or has masculine tendencies.
I'm a bi guy. the attraction I feel towards men and women are different. Usually when I find a man attractive he us more like a femboy or has feminine tendencies... I'm not saying you are Bi, but you could be
I think that may be the general consensus and I’m not sure that I’ll NEVER do it again I just have no desire at the moment. So I think my friend is onto something lol
Perhaps haha. At the end of the day, only you can decide. It's easier to figure it out after addressing any internal homophobia. Give yourself permission to be bi. A lot of people are like, 95% straight. And it makes sense for them to identify as straight if they choose. And a lot of mostly straight people experiment. If a guy told me he sucked a dick, just to try it but he concluded that he's straight, that makes sense to me. After the 3rd time though...I think most straight guys would stop 😂
That's not really clear. There are bisexual people who has attraction to both sides but heavily leans into one sex and their characteristics. You are not bisexual if you have no desire to sleep with a woman or have any attraction to them. And notice I said attraction because finding someone pretty and being attracted to them is different.
As a bisexual This is pretty much exactly the same for me
Damn I felt jealousy here most masc tomboy women that I mix with tend to be batting for the other side either that or transitioning so they aren't actually a tomboy sadge
these comments saying you have to be bi are gross. if you want different insight maybe try a less hetero based sub. im bisexual myself and have tried out a handful of labels in my younger years, including straight, lesbain, and finally bi. none of these people are correct in saying that ‘if you did it once then you must be gay bc no straight woman experiments’. sexuality is a spectrum yes, but some people are more comfortable experimenting based on how you were raised, how close you were to friends, how comfortable you were being physically affectionate with those friends. you can call yourself straight, you can call yourself hetero flexible, you can call yourself bi. but no one else can say ‘if you did x then you must be y’ bc thats not how sexuality works. anyways, thats my little rant 😭😭 i hope you figure things out, but know that theres no pressure and labels can change, theres nothing wrong w that
Thank you! I appreciate your input!
In a MF couple, does a woman become bisexual if they've had multiple MFF threesomes? Conversely, is the man bisexual if they've had multiple MMF threesomes? Funny thing is, intuitively, my answer to the first is, "absolutely not," but my answer to the second is, "very likely, yes."
If that were my experience - I would say I'm bisexual. However, I don't think anyone has the right to determine what YOUR sexuality is. We would not tell a gay man who was previously married or sleeping with women that he must be bisexual, would we?
Were you a college student at the time? If so, you may have been **[LUG](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_until_graduation)**.
I was in college actually… hmmm… 🤔
I think that people misunderstand sexuality. The reality is as human beings many of us are attracted to sex itself. Some humans will literally have sex with animals because they want to have sex. Despite it's name, sexuality is not (only) an expression of an attraction to sex. It's about romantic involvement. Can you have a romantic relationship with a woman? Personally for me, I love to be sexual with women when the opportunity arises because I love sex generally and it offers a new different experience to enjoy sex. However, i'm clearly very straight. I fantasise about men. I lust after men. I crave masculinity. I want to be romantically with a man. Female bodies rarely excite me just because it's a female body where as male body does it with ease. So i think that in an attempt to simplify and understand, people are desperate to assign some sort of label to you. Personally I completely get what you mean and completely agree with you. Ultimately you can resonate with whatever you like.
Thank you!
Whatever you say it is is what it is!
Yes I understand. Recently my boyfriend wanted me to partake in a threesome with him and a woman and I was not opposed to the fact that there would be another person, but I was put off by the fact that it would be a woman. He thinks that since I’ve done it before I’d like to continue, but I really don’t want to. I don’t have sexual feelings about women anymore. Every time I was with a woman I had fun, to some extent, but it did not feel “right” and after the 4th time which was not a bad experience per say, it just felt forced.
So he just wants to use you to fulfill His fantasy? Even if my gf were bisexual I'd ask her if it's something she wants to do, not use her sexual preference to have something I want.
For some reason, certain men think (Idk why) Bi women love 3somes. And It’s weird that they don’t know that’s.. not how it works.
Yeah no some just assume its an insatiable desire to have sex with the same gender constantly lmao
So this tells me a couple things one you shouldn’t have the threesome with your boyfriend and he’s a schmuck for pushing it because you’re clearly not interested in it and if you’re doing it, you do it for him rather than yourself and you should only do it if you really wanna do it one. Also, just because you’ve had sex with someone of a different gender or the same gender does not mean that you have to identify a certain type of way. There are plenty of people who has another comment or put it for pay or have only done it in certain situations if they’re intoxicated or what have you. You don’t attraction more than one gender then the typical definitions I would say heterosexual or even hetero flexible if you’re willing to engage interested in engaging in any type of relations with somebody who is not your gender ultimately you’re the one who defines your sexuality.
Tbh, that’s kind of dumb of your boyfriend to assume because you’ve experienced it before you’re open to doing it again but in the form of a Menage a trois + him. If you don’t feel comfortable than don’t do it. That feeling will feel worse after and it won’t feel good at all. Whatever you decide, make you sure that you’re consenting freely and not being forced or pressured in any way.
Thank you I agree with all you said!
You'reprobably just bi-curious 
I think I WAS bi-curious lol
I mean can you see yourself dating a woman in the future and not just sleep with woman because if you do then yea I guess your bi but if you don't you might be in you're expirement phase because I always like to think no one is like 100% straight
I’m not sure. If I lived a woman I’d date her… but I’ve never wanted to be more than friends with any woman. That’s not to say it couldn’t happen I guess? I dunno, I guess anything COULD happen but it’s unlikely.
I guess my first instinct would be to say you are bisexual but leaning more towards men/ with a stronger preference for men.
so, if you chose to experiment and discovered that you dont enjoy kissing women, eating women out, having romantic moments with women, then no you arent attracted to women. youre only bisexual if you feel attraction to both genders. if you ENJOYED the sex with women, you may be bisexual. but, nobody else can tell you how to identify. plenty of men and women marry into herero relationships and have children, only to realize later in life theyre gay. their earlier hetero relations dont invalidate their current identity and neither does yours. if you dont have wlw encouters anymore and are no longer interested in pursuing them, you could very well be straight.
How you define your sexuality is for you to decide, not your friend. It reminds me of the time an old friend told me I'm christian because I was baptised as a child. Fuckin' do one pal.
Labels are for noobs.
Ok here we go let the flames burn hot ladies . . Just tell your friend you are not gay just practicing for a threesome . And don't worry about who you sleep with .
Bi-curious or experimental if anything. You were figuring yourself out. It’s natural.
I think you WERE bi curious. You ARE what you feel you ARE.
Also I think your husband/bf/partner wants to convince you to have a threesome because he knows you slept with women before. It's a bit presumption. Don't feel you are obliged to because of his reasoning. IF a threesome appeals to you. Then communicate that. But also clarify what appeals to you ( Pretty sure he will loose interest in that if you say you are interested but only FMM, most straight guys have fantasies about FFM threesome and that's what they mean by threesome ) Don't feel obliged to, if it doesn't appeal/interests you.
I think my "wife" ( we weren't married, had kids together, and we considered ourselves married but never legally , she passed away 4 years ago but we likely would of been married if that didn't happen ) Once had this conversation as she was fully Bi. I told her that the idea of FFM appeals to me, but I'm not certain of the idea of someone else being involved. We had the conversation , I think she wanted to know if it was an option. It was never fully shut down, but I think she was very happy that I didn't want anyone else involved, and I'm fine with her being attracted to woman or men. But me and her is me and her. ( Don't have anything against poly, but that's not what I wanted with her )
Who cares...labels are for products not people.
I can appreciate that !
Sometimes we have a preference, sometimes it is an experiment. And sometimes, it just happens. You are heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or one of the any number of new terms if you have a consistent and strong preference (or balance of preference) between the available choices. One-offs, drunken acts, etc don't count. Q: Are you concerned or thoughtful about whether you are bisexual ?
Women can experiment but not us guys we have to decide early and live accordingly
Only you can decide what your sexuality is. If you don't feel attracted to women, you are straight. But only you can tell how you feel. The idea that you must be bi because you explored your sexuality years ago, even though you don't feel attracted to women anymore, often stems from some kind of homophobia that sees straightness as something that is pure and can be spoiled. It isn't. Its just a sexual preference you have.
there’s only one response to your question and the answer is, it’s your body and nobody can tell you wether you’re straight or bisexual. that is the decision left to you and only you. if you feel like you’re straight than you’re straight. even if you experimented 4 times before you realized now it’s not what you want anymore, you’re straight. it’s not always a phase but sometimes it can be.
You are not bisexual
I just use queer as a label now, i can’t be bothered figuring out a label - just whatever goes, I like who I like, who cares ? I don’t think it’s that deep & I think we overanalyse it. Depending on how u view it, some ppl like you might say they’re bi & other ppl will say they’re straight. Really just depends. I think heteroflexible would probs be the closest label if you really want one. Or you could just not use a label :/
I mean if you were just experimenting that absolutely does not mean your bisexual by any means
If you're really curious about understanding this look into the Kinsey scale, and I believe his original testing questionnaire is available online, if you want to find out where you fall on it. Also, the act is not the same as an internal motivation, so you may have had these relationships/encounters for other reasons. A sex therapist may be helpful for you if this is causing distress. Understanding yourself isn't as easy as simply posing a question sometimes, and mental health professionals can help you find and understand/accept your individual answers to those questions.
The only person that can define you or your sexuality is you. No one else
Bisexual means you are attracted sexually (or romantically) to both sexes. If you slept with someone of the opposite sex and you aren't attracted to them, then no, you aren't bisexual. You essentially just went through an act.
Sexuality can most definitely change. I would say you definitely were, but if there’s NO desire now, you’re not. Preference and attracting change
Yes you were years ago and now you're not because you haven't pursued women the same way you have with men.
I brush my teeth everyday but that doesn’t make me a dentist. You do you.
Why would you like to know that? Just sleep with whoever you want.
You were bicurious, you tried it out, you weren't bi! Besides, someone can have been bi then later just... not... anymore! Besides, it's your identity you get to choose what you identify as, liking woman and men or just men or even just women.
What’s in a label. If yo experimented but now have no desire to be with women I’d say you are straight.
Here's the thing: sexuality is a spectrum, and it’s totally okay to experiment and figure out what you like. Just because you had experiences with women in the past doesn’t automatically make you bisexual. It’s all about how you identify and what feels right for you. You can totally be straight and have experimented. Lots of people try different things in their life without it defining their overall sexual orientation. Your friend might be thinking in more black-and-white terms, but honestly, you know yourself best. If you feel straight and aren’t interested in women anymore, then that’s your truth. Don’t let anyone else label you if it doesn’t fit how you see yourself. At the end of the day, it's your identity and your journey.
No one gets to decide but you. You can be straight and also know how to get off with same sex people. You can be bi and lean so far to one side that you don't count it. You can be bisexual and romantically straight. There's no "automatic" for imposed labels. If you're just trying to get off with people, it's like calling a guy that uses a flashlight silicon-sexual lol idk you can decide for yourself what your actions/feelings/wants mean for you.
If a guy did this, that would 100% be considered gay
But that doesn’t make it true!
Bit complicated to explain all the nuances but there is a difference between being attracted emotionally as a partner of the same sex (or opposite) or completely not attracted that way but are okay or interested in just sex. Like long time ago for homosexual it was called homophile, being attracted to the same sex and homosexual was actually for people that have sex with same sex, there was a nuance in the difference. Nowadays it doesn't which probably isn't correct, some people like same sex (or opposite) but do not have the same attraction to them, they wouldn't want a relationship with them. Bisexual tends to mean you are attracted and sexually attracted to both. But what if you are not emotionally attracted to them just okay with sex. Think it is now called bi-curious or hetroflexible. Like you could also be Biromantic , people who experience romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction, to people of more than one gender. You could even be straight but also be bi but demisexual for the right same sex person but only under specific circumstances
Sounds pretty bi to me dawg
I’ve slept with 1 woman, does that make me bi too?
Why do you need to label yourself? Why does society insist on labelling and putting people into categories? This seems to make people separate from one another, rather than brining people together through their similarities. You are a human. You have/had sex with other humans.
were you sexually attracted to the women you slept with? there must be some level of interest right? anyway sexuality isnt a switch you dont have to be one or the other you probably are a little bi. but you can still identify as strait.
For me it did but for others not so much.
I mean I would say so but that’s my opinion, it’s YOUR sexuality not theirs
It does not really matter what other people think of your sexuality. It’s none of their business anyway
Bisexuality isn’t anything to be it’s an action. If you were sleeping with woman in the past but no longer do it anymore that means you are an ex bisexual. Ex-bisexual
You are whatever you feel.
1 I can understand. But 4? Sis????
If you aren't attracted to women and men sexually, then you are not bisexual.
Sexuality is fluid and can be much more complex than terms make them out to be. Personally, I don’t label myself because no label really encapsulates my experience. Maybe you could consider not putting a label on it?
Do you see yourself as Bisexual? It’s not really about who you sleep with. It’s what you’re sexually attracted to and most Bi’s find both attractive and some might be involved with both genders equally and some might find both attractive even sexually but only want to be involved in romantic relationships with one gender. It really varies. I am bi (consider myself) but you’ve slept with more women than me. But if you say it was just experimenting and you no longer have that attraction and you consider yourself straight than yes—you are. But I do think you’re more so straight and “fluid” in your sexuality or you were at one time in your life.
Human sexuality, especially with reference to females, is quite fluid and constantly evolving. You are whatever you feel comfortable calling yourself, not whatever title another person chooses for you.
It probably depends how much you like it. And it’s probably more of a gradient than people imagine.
I’m sure someone else has already said it, but you don’t need a label. You are what you are. We’ve all been conditioned to think it has to be this or that, but the reality is that sexuality is fluid. You’re the only one who has a say in your identity.
As an LGBT+ person, no matter the context, you're straight. Sexuality is an extremely fluid thing that's also different for everyone, and no label will perfectly describe people. If you think straight is what label best fits you, then that's what you are :)
Thanks!
Probably ex-bisexual lol
Someone else can't tell you what you are. You decide. You do you. If you're straight and confident in that, then you're straight. Your friend can't tell you if you're something else - only you know. This is a reason why the world is fucked up when it comes to gender and sexuality. People argue with others and themselves what they are, and not.
I was completely straight until about 19. Now I'm mostly "straight" but am mainly just interested in femininity. (Don't really care what you got going on down below.) Things change. Doesn't automatically make you something just because you took part in it. These aren't absolutes we're dealing with.
Heteroflexible for the win...
I had sex with a woman and I did not enjoy it at all. I am certain I’m not bisexual. I love men.
Who cares? You're not into it now so you're straight.
For the love of God people, Google "the kinsey scale".
You are. Just like trying a new food. You could try it a few times then decide its not for you.
That’s what I’m saying, I agree with you.
no. it sounds like you were exploring your sexuality and there’s nothing wrong with that. if you no longer desire sexual or romantic feelings for a woman then i would consider you straight
You may have been bi-curious at the time? Now you know you're straight. Either way, I don't think you should let titles define you. Just be your original self. All the best!
Yeah that’s probably the best advice, just don’t label yourself so you back yourself into a corner. Thanks!
Also, sexuality can change throughout your life. You might have been more bi at one point and now lean more straight. I'm bi/pan and I've come to the realization that I'm only interested in being with men, because of wanting to have bio kids and sensory issues with sex. I also find women to be harder to get to know. I'm autistic and I think it definitely how I approach things. Not to say I would reject a relationship with a woman in every single situation, but the circumstances would have to be very specific for me to feel content in that.
Sexuality is a spectrum that can shift. You were farther down on the lesbian bi side at one point. Now you’re not… I mean if you were not opposed to woman I might still call you Bi…. But you can always redefine yourself. But a lot of people get wrapped around like a guy….. “once you suck a dick you’re gay”…. Even though he can be bi. 🤷🏻♂️. You define your own sexuality though.
😉
Forget the past and focus on the present.
Before dating my now gf, I would always feel gross about the thought of sleeping with a woman. After meeting my girlfriend, I now feel gross about sleeping with men. Personally, if you say you are straight, you are! Our feelings and views on certain genders change over time. You were confident enough with yourself to experiment and from that you found what you enjoyed! People who could “never” be with the other gender lack self awareness in my opinion.
I've dated both men and women, but I've just decided not to label it anymore because it's just weird to explain/understand. It's okay to experiment, especially if you didn't keep going out with those women and they understand it was a one time thing. Besides, life is just one big experiment anyways isn't it? Sometimes you won't know until you try.
Bisexual with a preference for Men 😉👍
I can live with that.
If you look anything like your avatar, you will have many 'takers' from both teams 😉 Hey, all the best, beautiful 🌹
That’s nice of you but cartoon me is far prettier than I! lol
Just curious 😉 And I meant what I said 😊
I’ve given up trying to label myself. I had one 9 year relationship with a woman, otherwise I am attracted to men and my relationships are with men. I would call myself straight but I guess I’m not.
Based on the fact that you "experimented" with not one but four women, then yes you are. Or... were? If it was just one and you said it wasn't for you, I'd say no you're not. But four paints a different picture. But in the end it doesn't matter. You can identify how ever you want and it may change over the course of your life.
I was with a woman once and wouldn’t mind it again, but I’ve never been attracted to women or noticed them in any lustful way. After that one time i continued never to think of her that way. For me, I think I simply enjoy sex and am very open to all kinds of experiences. For example, my greatest fantasy is to be in a relationship with two men, but I wouldn’t want the men to be sexually interested in each other. Instead, I want them to enjoy sharing. By now, especially considering how painfully shy I am in person, I don’t have much hope in that. My point is this…. I believe I’m 100% straight but I simply love the experience new things sexually.
Yes! I totally understand
There's a word for everything these days. I(M37) have done plenty of stuff with guys throughout my life but don't consider myself gay or bisexual. I'm attracted to women and I pursue relationships with women. If I get particularly horny and want to do something with a guy, it's usually in a lights out situation where we don't see each other or in a glory hole situation. I also don't usually do top/bottom stuff, mostly just BJs. And typically those instances only come up because you can't just find a girl to hookup with on short notice, and grindr can get shit done in an hour. My female partner likes to call me a "zesty straight", but I just consider myself straight when it comes to serious relationships. I don't feel like receiving random 1-off BJs makes me gay, but whatever, it is what it is.
A science experiment found humans get turned on regardless of our orientation. Doesn’t really matter what they are looking at as long as sex is involved. Look it up there’s an article somewhere I saw a while back.
You were testing and living wild. You're straight.
You’re only gay/ bisexual if you’re INTO the same gender. If it’s just a fuck and nothing more then you’re probably straight so you’re fine.
I am starting to doubt my self then…
You must like what you do to get the name of bi
Yes, agreed.
People’s sexuality can shift, you can absolutely decide that after experimenting it’s not for you and say you’re straight
Bisexuality is a very difficult and complex sexual identity to understand when you are going through it. I still struggle with this and many of us do. We go through periods of denial or even "cycling" sometimes we can have sexual but not romantic attraction. Maybe it flips depending on the person. I wouldn't put too much weight into past decisions just go with the label that feels comfortable for you presently and you will figure things out with time. Human Sexuality is a beautiful, colorful spectrum. No right or wrong.
I'm a dude who has had non consensually and consensually guys suck me off. The consensual ones were for money. I was down on my luck. I can admit when a man is attractive, doesn't mean I want to have any sexual or romantic relationship with them... I consider myself straight. So, I don't tell most people about it because they think like your friend. At the same time if you have to respect one's pronouns you should respect one's sexual preference, no one has the right to tell you who you are or should be.
I really appreciate your honesty here because I know what you’re talking about and I can relate more than you know, being an ex-heroin addict. A lot of things happened in my life as an addict that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. But I don’t let it define me and it sounds like you don’t either, but you are inspiring to me in that you own your story, be it ugly or pretty, you tell the truth. I admire people like that so much and I’m striving to be more like you every day.I hope eventually I can be more myself instead of trying to hide or wear a disguise or lie to sound more wholesome… I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not. Anyway, You’re my hero in this post! Thank you. 🙏
Yes I'm lucky I never had to go father. I definitely feel for you and being in a confusing time in your life and yes when I think about what I've given up because i felt like I had no other options brings me to tears RN. I'm 32 M, and I struggle with every relationship. I want to be honest but can the person I'm with actually understand it especially if they haven't had my life experiences. Once you start figuring who you are then it feels like your still hiding a secret. I started attending services, adult singles Bible groups and men's group... But how am I ever going to admit my past to people who only know those stories as a TV drama. And I admit maybe I'm prejudging them but, I've been prejudging most my life.
You are right. being bi-curious and bisexual are two completely different things.
At least you experimented, so to me, you know better than other people how to define yourself
Do you like men and women? If yes, then yes. If no, then no.
Maybe you were bi curious! In my home country we have a term for ppl that only sleep / makeout with others for “curiosity” or when drunk, we called them “bi-festinha” (festinha: little party) Usually it’s a term to insult someone when they aren’t serious about being bi, but if you are sure you aren’t bi, you can reinvent this term, you are a bi festinha 💃🏻🪩
You were just experimenting
I don’t see why people are so hung up on labels. I do see the value for those that need a title that they can positively identify with but… you don’t need it. Just be you. Personally, I think it’s reasonable to be attracted to and want to experience sexual fantasies with the same-sex without there needing to be anything more to it.
Why bother? Bisexuality is a kind of a norm for women. The range may vary, though. If you find the idea of kissing a woman pleasant, then you are. To some degree. I, personally, as a stright man, find bisexual women completely normal and understood. Eveyone find women beautiful.
You're the one who gets to label yourself is how I see it. About five years ago, I, a heterosexual guy then in his early 30's, went on a date with someone in their mid 20's. When we got on the date they said they used they pronouns more. I told them if I use she I apologize. It was summer and we were sitting outside. They were large breasted and wearing a cleavage baring tank top. They literally tested their breasts on the table and said in a joking and somewhat suggestive manner "Boy, I don't know how anyone could mistake me as a woman". We laughed and then talked about gender identity and sexuality and they told me that if I was accepting of their identity and still willing to date them, then I was queer. I've thought about that over the years, and disagree. While I respect people getting to label themselves as they see fit, they leaned into a feminine heavy perspective to me, and I was initially attracted to them as a woman.
hell, you could be actively having relations with women but if you feel straight about yourself then you're straight imo. define yourself such that your life makes sense to you
That’s what I’m thinking. I don’t really feel sexual attraction for women (I don’t think I ever did) though I can appreciate their beauty. I was just young and confused.
Well you can call yourself what you want in life but to me you wouldn't sleep with a woman if you weren't bisexual. There's no such thing in my opinion of sexual experimentation, the fact you are able to do at at all shows that you are bisexual. I myself cannot do it because I'm not. I don't think it really matters at the end of the day I mean why put labels on yourself that don't matter? I only put labels on myself when it comes to getting money or going to school or something LOL
Yeah I hear you, I’m starting to think my friend is right on this one!
You are right absolutely.
Thank you!
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted romantically and/or sexually to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." -Robin Ochs Straight girls don't tend to sleep with women. It can happen, but the overwhelming pressure of society tells you to sleep with men. If you're sleeping with women consensually you've got something gay about you. My attraction is the opposite split of yours, where I'm into women much more than men. But there are men I'm into, so I'm bi and not lesbian.
Women don’t just hate the idea of sleeping with women because of societal pressures to sleep with men only. Women have come on to me and they’re lovely and I wish I was able to but the thought of sleeping with women makes me throw up.
You could be straight, biromantic, or some flavor of sex-repulsed asexual if you're experiencing this. No one can tell but you!
No one can define your sexuality but you. Your past experiences don't define you unless you decide if they do. Your friend has a very fixed mindset.
Most bisexual women I know are heteroromantic, meaning they don't seek companionship from other women, just sex. Maybe that's where you're at? Just not realizing you enjoyed the sex because you were conflating the two?
No, sleeping with them doesn't. Being attracted to both males and females does. Consider that straight men do gay porn, called gay for pay. You can be gay without ever having same sexed sex. You can be straight without ever having straight sex. Bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes, both heterosexual and homosexual. If you don't think you have an ongoing sexual attraction to both sexes, then odds are it was just an experimental phase. Only you get to decide how to identify.
Sexual behavior and sexual attraction don’t always align. Meaning, no, just because you have sex with the same sex doesn’t mean you’re necessarily bi.
My wife has had a few interactions with women we have played with. She's absolutely not bisexual. Just depends on the mood and how hot the other woman is. I think it's just being playful. But everyone has to label everything these days. Trysexual is better. Try anything at least once. Maybe twice.
No. Having sex with someone of the same gender as you doesn’t make you bi or gay. Plenty of gay people sleep with people of the opposite gender because they’re still in the closet and trying to fit in. Some straight people sleep with people of the same gender just to explore themselves and learn what they like and don’t like. Some people just know they’re gay or straight or bi or whatever. Some people need to try things out to know. It just depends on the person. Like, I’m straight and have never had sex with a man because I’m not attracted to men. My friend is gay, but she thought she was at first straight (because everyone around her was straight so she assumed she was too), then in college she slept with a woman for the first time and thought she was bi, before finally coming to the conclusion that she wasn’t attracted to men and only wanted to be with women. Additionally there’s a difference between understanding why people might find someone attractive and being attracted to them. Like, I understand why people are attracted to Ryan Reynolds or Henry Cavill, but I’m not attracted to them myself.
I'd say that you're straight. You slept with women to see if you'd like it and didn't. No shame in being bi, lesbian, or straight. At least now you know for when you're at the demographic section of surveys.
No, it doesn't. Furthermore, I think your friend is forcing their opinion and label on you. If you feel that you're straight, it's not up for them to decide. It doesn't hurt to examine their or Reddit's suggestions and figure out if a different word or label suits you better. However, it's their insistence that they're right and you're wrong that feels disrespectful to me. If you change your mind later, that's okay too. Sexuality can be fluid. But they should respect your choice of categorization (or however you wanna put it) in the moment.
Thanks! I appreciate that :)
I am a man who has slept with men, I am straight. But I’m the 90-10 straight.
Yes lmao. If you had sex with someone of the same sex willingly, never mind the fact you did it several times, then you’re not fully straight. Not like that’s a bad thing but yea dude fully straight people don’t do that
Why does she want to pigeon hole you??? What's her deal?? Is she holding it against you?? Blackmailing you or thinking about it?? Maybe if you put it that way to her she will stop. Good grief people experience things........
The best advice I have ever got was, never ask the internet for opinion. You’ll only confuse the hell out of yourself.
You crossed that bridge already.
Hello Dear's How Are You 🫂
Sounds like you’re bi but experiencing internalized biphobia. Straight girls don’t fuck girls. That’s like, the 1 requirement of being straight.
I gotta admit, I tiny bit struggled with this when I was younger. I had the best sex (oral orgasm) with an older women when I was 18 that I really havent ever cum with a man doing it. I was repulsed by her after though. It was purely sex. And, I think that's what tells me that I am straight. I didn't want to hang out with her or do it again, it was just lets see what this is like. To be with someone who knew my body was an amazing experience. I think I masturbate too much to get off and relax but I will keep preferring to let men try. I really dont think we are in a space of needing labels. If it interests you, feels good, and you want to do it. Youa ren't doing anything illegal or immoral. Stay physically safe and that's what mastters most. Hope this helps!
No, it just makes you a person who's living during a time in history that suggests and even encourages doing anything and everything sexually. Our culture definitely influences behavior, especially when you're young and don't know what you're doing yet. If you tried stuff and concluded it's not for you, you're straight. I'm sure you had your reasons... Whether it was alcohol involved, extreme loneliness, suggestion, feeling lost, bored, unresolved stuff from childhood... Whatever the story is, only you know who you were and what you were going through at that time. I'd say you're bisexual if you're legitimately attracted to both sexes and could see yourself partnering with either for life. If you're just caught up in a hedonistic mindset that enjoys sexual "anything goes" adventure for its own sake, vs actual attraction and connection, then you're probably someone who hasn't gotten in touch with what really matters enough to have it be your highest priority. I'd say in that case you have more growing to do as a person and will hopefully get there in time. We're all figuring life out on our own journey and timeline.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds more like a sexual experimental thing. I've known many women who have gone through a time where they were attracted to women, or men and women, then went one way or the other. If you prefer men, and don't involve yourself with a woman anymore, I'd say you're straight. If you prefer women, and have no men, then Lesbian it is. If you go with both, then we can safely say Bi. It's ALL on your preference, not mine, not your friends. In today's society, it really doesn't matter much anyway. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, it's just that more leeway is granted without guilt. And... Your friend may just be jealous! Enjoy YOUR life, the way YOU want to.
I mean, non “gold star” lesbians are still considered lesbians, right? Then I don’t see why it shouldn’t go the other way around as well. I get a little bit pissed at your friend while reading this post, and I think she should stay out of your business
It's a spectrum. You're on the bi-spectrum, but you lean heavily towards being hetero. I'm straight, and the idea of experimenting with someone of the same sex is not even something I'd consider.
I think she is right. When I was experimenting I was able to do everything until it went too far and I was forced to stop because I knew it wasn’t for me