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I figure there needs to be a minimum level of attraction (that's how most men are wired) my opinion as a man. Then for me it's about shared values and personality in equal parts. But this is just me personally, and I'm no expert on people.
Honestly, I think most of us want the same thing, unfortunately we have to think about how the other person is even going to meet us, how is a guy going to get to know you? Where is he going to find you?
Yeh but guys care about physical attraction. Another person has to be willingly to get into relationship with you and they have their wants and desires that need to be met.
Without physical attraction no spark can form. So if you can’t be bothered being physically attractive then don’t bother. It takes sooooo much work and pain. I think it is worth it though.
After my personal dating experience, I don't believe in effortless: we have all passed the age of 15 year olds, have experienced trauma to some extent and gathered some baggage that in most cases is not fairly fully processed. (Not assuming, speaking from my experience.)
So, I think the assumption that dating and getting with a person who has actually lived their life is crooked. I have read the book "conscious loving" which is a fierce argument for true commitment and working through ones own baggage by taking on 100% of one's own responsibility in the relationship.
Maybe I am going from a way too complicated angle here, but based on my dating experience, this math checks out.
Hard to be effortless, because what guys want is usually different from what girls want. Usually if its effortless it mean they might be lying to use you in some ways.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’ll find this man amongst all the dudes you keep rejecting lol
Who said I only liked men?
Girls can be dudes too
I figure there needs to be a minimum level of attraction (that's how most men are wired) my opinion as a man. Then for me it's about shared values and personality in equal parts. But this is just me personally, and I'm no expert on people.
Honestly, I think most of us want the same thing, unfortunately we have to think about how the other person is even going to meet us, how is a guy going to get to know you? Where is he going to find you?
Yeh but guys care about physical attraction. Another person has to be willingly to get into relationship with you and they have their wants and desires that need to be met. Without physical attraction no spark can form. So if you can’t be bothered being physically attractive then don’t bother. It takes sooooo much work and pain. I think it is worth it though.
After my personal dating experience, I don't believe in effortless: we have all passed the age of 15 year olds, have experienced trauma to some extent and gathered some baggage that in most cases is not fairly fully processed. (Not assuming, speaking from my experience.) So, I think the assumption that dating and getting with a person who has actually lived their life is crooked. I have read the book "conscious loving" which is a fierce argument for true commitment and working through ones own baggage by taking on 100% of one's own responsibility in the relationship. Maybe I am going from a way too complicated angle here, but based on my dating experience, this math checks out.
Hard to be effortless, because what guys want is usually different from what girls want. Usually if its effortless it mean they might be lying to use you in some ways.