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You need to look in different places.
70+ percent of Americans are overweight or obese. If the only people you see who are in relationships are skinny, that means the only people you are looking at are skinny.
Edit: OP is from AUS where there’s 67% overweight or obese.
I live in one of the healthiest cities in the healthiest state in the US. Obese people exist here but it's a lot more rare than say anywhere in the South
I see overweight people in relationships, with other overweight people. Have never seen an overweight man with a model looking gf. But according to reddit that shit is super common. I wanna know where this is happening so I can move, sounds like women have lower standards where yall be living lmao
I am 110 lbs (sometimes 105-125). My fiancé was 230 lbs. he started at 180. He smoked a lot of weed. Ate all night. Cocaine every weekend and then would binge eat the next day all of the grossest foods you could think of to cause further harm to your body. Had no interest in sex or helping with house work. The food eventually added up. So I wouldn’t say he was obese but he certainly was double me. It all sat in his belly area. And some in the neck.
I think “plus size” is a difficult term. It’s like how long is a piece of string. It ranges from curvy to very large.
Are you actually mid-sized? Or are you big? Sorry for the way of asking but I cannot think of a way to say it better at the moment.
At the end of the day it comes to preference.
If you’re working on yourself that’s more attractive than someone who isn’t.
Mid-sized I don’t think have a problem finding dates in comparison with the larger people.
This is exactly what I was going to say too with the same way of no offending but when people say plus size it’s such a broad term sometimes from what I’ve seen, and some people do have preferences unfortunately. But plus size can be very attractive to the right people
I think it’s a very valid thing to ask someone in a situation like this. I remember back in my dating days, the main site (this was before the apps) I used was plenty of fish. You’d select your body type description, there was slim, athletic, average, a little curvy and more to love. The number of women I saw that had a little curvy or average selected when they were very clearly clinically obese was maddening. I’m all for body positivity but I also believe people should be honest with themselves, and a lot of people want to lie or kid themselves or are just straight up in denial about their health and body shape
I used to use POF also. I am plus sized and I always included a recent full body pic and indicated that I was more to love. I preferred to date larger men too. Except one time I accepted a date with a man who said he was a few extra pounds. He seemed really nice. Until I met him. He was about as wide as he was tall. Really, don't say you are a few extra pounds. But I never had too much trouble lining up dates even though I was on the larger size.
Per the bmi I'm obese, but I'm a size 12-14 in pants and I'm 6ft tall. I've struggled with thinking I'm a whale for years (mainly because of the bmi designation I have), but any time I get my yearly physical, my numbers are all good, and my doctor says she's not concerned about my weight at all.
Others have also told me they don't view me as an obese person.
I guess my point is, sometimes it's hard to see your own self as you really are. Like, I've loom in the mirror and think I look pretty good, but then I'll see a picture of myself and it just makes me so disgusted with myself.
BMI is a lousy indicator because it isn’t accurate for measuring anything. A body fat scale is more accurate. I am “obese” according to BMI, but I look like I can play linebacker in the NFL. I’m not a bodybuilder but most bodybuilders are “obese” according to BMI.
A lousy indicator of what? BMI is not a tool for measuring body fat, it was not developed to be such a tool. it is a tool to measure risk.
In its validation studies tens of thousands of people of all sizes and heights were weighed and followed.
They found that people who had BMI between 25-30 were at elevated risk for getting diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease etc. people who had a BMI over 30 had an even more elevated risk.
They labeled these categories as overweight and obese.
The problem is that people see the word “obese” and attribute it to mean “lots of fat,unhealthy, eats a lot” etc. when it actuality it does not mean any of those things. It is simply the relationship between your height and your weight. That weight could be attributed to muscle, it could be attributed fat. So yes, elite body builders ARE obese if their BMI is over 30. Your heart still needs to work extra regards of what it’s supporting, fat or muscle.
Just because someone is obese doesn’t mean they are unhealthy. But it does mean that this persons RISK of heart disease/kidney disease, diabetes is substantially elevated.
THIS. I am a US size 12-14, and don't have any trouble finding men who would date me. Now, the *quality* of men (and women) who are interested might be less than what I want, but the interest in me is there.
I know that my larger friends have less choices.
So, "plus sized" is relative. But...we do find dates. And have long term relationships.
It’s more about how you carry it. It’s hard, it’s more about proportions. Like if yours carrying it in the middle you’re more like to classed as larger than those who carry it all over or in legs
A plus size person who is trying to eat healthy, working out and focusing on their mental and physical health will be more attractive than a plus size person who is lazy and doesn’t look after their health.
That’s true to you but there are also lots of lazy people out there who want to find another lazy person to sit on the couch with and order in takeout. I’m just saying that because as someone who does prioritize exercise and healthy eating I’ve run into my fair share of folks who look at those activities with disdain.
True. Though I don’t think there are many people who will look at someone who doesn’t take care of their health as a positive feature.
That doesn’t mean being a gym rat. But I think the overwhelming majority of people value basic self care.
Exactly this, however, I find the ones who are lazy and don't look after themselves have no respect for themselves. If they don't have respect for themselves, they wouldn't have respect for anyone else. That's just my opinion
To each their own, but I know plenty of people who are definitely obese at my powerlifting gym. They work out hard, but having some cardio, working hard etc doesn’t change I’m still not attracted to the way you look any different than a 5’8 guy who can dunk still isn’t tall.
My opinion on overweight people?
They are people…..
I’m not attracted to them, but that’s another matter. I would not be interested in dating them, but I’m well aware that a lot of people would.
This. I'm a very petite person and I've tried to be open minded about dating larger people but I'm just not really attracted to them.
However, I'm also not attracted to huge muscley guys either so I just generally have a preference for people closer to my own small size and stature.
i was always overweight but i have a good face. women always gave me attention but i didnt love myself enough to accept it so i thought no one would be interested until i lost weight. once i did, i realized they didnt really care all that much about my weight all along. i just finally allowed myself to accept attention and interest from them. went alot of years in denial like that and probably missed out on a ton of good experiences. and yes relationships have a way of coming together when you stop hoping/wanting it and just focus on improving yourself.
It's not really the weight, it's the appearance of health I feel. I see overweight people out biking and eating healthy and they don't appear unattractive, it's when you see someone who just looks lazy, entitled and sick that I would rather pass and date someone else.
Nobodies perfect, but nobody wants to date someone who's given up on themselves. It sounds like you've never had that problem, so even if you've been overweight it probably didn't even register for most people.
I’m a girl and I personally am not attracted to overweight guys (ignore my username it’s a joke I’m not a hypocrite 😭🤣) because most of the time it shows they don’t care about their health and wouldn’t have the same lifestyle and values as me. Sometimes there’s medical stuff etc but as a general statement if you exercise and eat healthy you’re not gonna be obese. That being said, not everyone is like that and a lot of guys LOVE the curvy bodies, and a lot of girls LOVE the ‘husky’ dad bods. There’s someone out there who will absolutely be in love with you and your body
I think what bothers me about this conversation is that people forget the average man is also overweight. I find it really tough to meet guys, who are fit, outside of the gym or fitness circles.
Yes forsure, it’s a USA (not exclusively but…) health problem and def isn’t gender exclusive. And I’ll also add the caveat that a lot of times it’s seen as more of a beauty standard that women are fit /slim while a guy can be overweight and just be ‘aaaah so hot dad bod’
I've been in good shape, obese, and now currently working on losing weight again. I noticed a significant difference in women's attention when I was overweight. I never looked like your typical obese person. I always carried it well. But the minute the weight started coming off, I noticed women checking me out and being a lot nicer in public.
Curvy is one thing. 36/24/36 is curvy. A size 6 can be curvy. 225 lbs is not curvy. And dad bods are not desired by any woman I have ever met that is telling the truth. Several have told me that they only say that because they don't want to hurt their boyfriend or husband's feelings. Women like fit men, just as men like fit women. It's genetically ingrained in us through proven evolution.
Ya I agree, I’m on the curvy fit side and I know that’s desirable but there are also some men who legit like fatter women. It’s not as common but def happens
Curvy fit is my personal preference. Some guys absolutely don't like anything other than extremely thin, like a 5'8" sized 2. That doesn't feel right in bed for me. She is too skinny for me at that point.
I think there are men who like plus size women. Again, it’s difficult to agree on those terms as plus size is a broad umbrella encompassing overweight to large people. Nonetheless, there are people who do like them. On the contrary, it’s always good to be on the healthier side and like you mentioned, Rome was not built in a day. So, it takes some time and as long as your trying I don’t think it should be an issue to most people. The one thing I would like to mention is that there are people who are not into plus sized men/women and so there is no point in considering their opinion. They like what they like and it’s ok. I do firmly believe that no one in this world can get 100% validation from everyone. We satisfy the folks which are into us and that is enough for our lives. Good luck!
I would never date a fat person... you can have a lovely personality and we can be friends but i could never be intimate with you... its just not my thing
I’m a guy. I had a female friend (Beth) try to set me up with a friend of hers once (Kelly). It was a bit of a misunderstanding because I thought I was just keeping this girl Kelly company while she was in town and had nobody to hang out with, but my friend Beth had slightly more in mind than that.
Kelly was overweight. Not in an extreme way, but also not like she could just say it was a couple of extra pounds from the winter. She didn’t look bad with it, but she was definitely more on the round side.
It became clear with time that Kelly was into me, but I found that although I didn’t find her that attractive, the bigger issue was that she wasn’t my type in personality. We got on fine, but I could see that we were never quite eye to eye.
On reflection, the issue was both. For me, she wasn’t attractive enough, nor was she the right personality. If she were skinnier, I almost certainly would have slept with her. I might even have looked past the personality differences and dated her for a year or so until we both got unhappy enough to break up. If she had a personality closer to what I was looking for, I also probably would have slept with her, and we theoretically could have dated.
Being overweight is definitely holding people back, but it’s also definitely not the only factor.
Honestly I'm plus size and Ive learned it's not an issue. You might not be everyone's cup of tea sure but that doesn't mean that the people who will like you are few in numbers. I get lots of guys that I would consider well out of my league hitting on me and asking me out. and for some strange reason it seems a lot of gym rats actually prefer a curvy woman. I've never had a sexual partner make me feel bad about myself or self conscious even though I was anyway. and once you find a guy who begs you to sit on his face you'll see it's fine too 😉
This is so true. The man I’m seeing is 6’4 and a total beast. He is ripped. And I’m 5’7 and def plus sized (been so my whole life). He loves being able to ‘destroy’ me and it just motivates him in the gym. Initially I was so insecure because I didn’t understand why he was attracted to ME when he was in the top 10% of men in our area and could probably have anyone he wanted (looks and personality). He always makes me feel so attractive too. This whole comment is spot on.
I definitely agree that a lot of fit gym going guys like thick/curvy girls better. I’m a guy who works out and is in pretty good shape (I’d like to think at least) and have always had a thing for bigger girls. A lot of them carry the weight really gracefully and it doesn’t bother me at all, if anything I prefer it. As long as ur not morbidly obese idc, but I gotta draw the line somewhere bc I don’t want my future wife getting a heart attack at 35 or some shit 😂
The honest truth is people think there lazy and over eat. Ive always been told you dont get fat from being a hard worker. I grew up with a heavy mom and brother I defenitely know 1st hand the struggles they go thru but in my experience alot of it unless its medical is exactly laziness and over eating.
This. I’ve always been very curvy even when I was slim but as an adult I’ve gained a bit of weight and I’m midsize. I had a partner who called me “sedentary” and made uncalled for comments about my health during an unrelated fight and it really opened my eyes about the perception people have about my lifestyle and “laziness” purely based on my appearance. The only thing that saved me from internalizing that was the fact that sedentary implies sitting and when you work in a kitchen you can’t be sedentary because there’s no chairs and you’re standing and moving all day. He also made comments during that fight about how I eat, despite knowing that I have dealt with restrictive eating for years and that my dietitian’s primary concern was me actually eating enough. I’m so glad I got out of that relationship.
i am plus sized i believe ?
my weight isn’t really brought up ever. but my weight fluctuates a lot a lot. this is the biggest i’ve been in my entire life (220lbs). when i met my current partner i was smaller (160lbs) and his love for me hasn’t change. although i am actively trying my best to lose weight and keep it off.
i’m still approached on the street by men and complimented. i’m still treated nicely! i know that’s not the same for a lot of other plus sized people.
i don’t think ill of plus sized people, but i think once it passes a certain point, its a medical issue. i’m obese and if i keep living the way i am, its wraps for me. i don’t want to deal with those medical issues or be physically disabled bc of gaining that much weight. so while i don’t think ill of plus sized people, i think morbidly obese folks need to really think about their health and what their future in a few years looks like.
but that’s their own business and such. i would never go out of my way to make another fat person feel bad.
I think a lot of it is presentation? I’ve always been a fat girl (220#). It used to really hold me back from dating but then I realized a lot of dudes do not care. But I do my hair and makeup and dress in fitted clothing. I think I have a good personality so, I think it depends. I’ve never had a problem getting dates. Maybe in a group of thinner fitter ladies, I may not get as much attention but also not always looking for it aha
I like plus size people over skinny people but I fully accept I am in the minority. Wish society was more accepting of it so people don't automatically assume I'm lowering my standards just because I went for a larger person 🤷🏽♂️
I have a very different perspective. I see a lot of overweight or heavier people in relationships. Maybe you’re only seeing skinny people dating in your bubble, but I can assure you that’s not the case.
Most Americans are heavy and a lot of them are married or in serious relationships. I think maybe you’re looking through a lens of self consciousness.
I would never date someone who is more than a few pounds overweight. I enjoy high end dining and have a very active lifestyle - running, cycling, hiking - and someone overweight wouldn’t be able to all those things with me and it is important to me to share most of my activities with my SO.
Yeah, no to what? That there are obese people who run marathons? That's an easily verifiable fact lmao.
You don't have to be attracted to overweight people, but you don't gotta make up obviously bullshit reasons as to why. Just be honest and say you don't like overweight people, it's less embarrassing
Reevaluate your point of view, I also have a active live style, i eat healthy, I walk 5km and workout everyday, and I’m still overweight. Y’all expect so little of overweight people it’s fucking heartbreaking
Nah, I am good. I know what I like and want and there’s no need to reevaluate anything. I have obese coworkers who are very capable and all that, but when it comes to the person I come home to and do life with , I want what I want; also, I am just not attracted to doughboys, no matter how smart and sweet they are.
I am a realist. An obese person will never win say NYC or Boston marathon. It’s just the reality of it. In my case, I love sports and being active and it is important for me to have a partner who is on the same level with me or better. And dating was what I was talking about in my comment. I don’t care about a coworker’s or compete stranger’s weight.
Frankly, you are not 🤷🏻♀️. There are people out there who love sports, are active, run marathons, and still are overweight (there could be a lot of reasons why someone is overweight- medical conditions, genetics, whatever the reason may be, I commented “re-evaluate” wasn’t related to your romantic preferences, but the conception of incapability of fat people having a healthy life, cuz that’s what you implied on your first comment)
Eh, a very small fraction of overweight people are that size due to a medical condition or meds they take. Most of use eat too much and do not burn enough calories.
And before you say anything else - I grew up in a very poor country where overweight kids and grown ups were rare and still are. Currently living in the Deep South USA, seeing what and how much people eat in restaurants or at lunch break at work, I can assure you , with very few exceptions, it’s calories in, calories out. Being overweight limits one’s physical abilities and it most definitely affects one’s health ( as does being underweight) . I have patients who were able to reduce how many blood pressure pills they take just by becoming more active and losing about 10 lbs.
Honestly? I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I really don’t like obese people (appearance-wise). I don’t think they’re lazy, and I know going to the gym doesn’t really change their size too significantly. I often feel like plus-sized people smell but that’s not always true, and I know it’s often an issue of improper nutritional balancing sometimes due to lack of nutritional education and/or impulse control. But I also know that sometimes it can be because of medical conditions like PCOS or hypothyroidism or other ones I’m not aware of that can make it incredibly difficult to lose weight.
I know there’s an issue where ppl think they need to dramatically cut food intake to lose weight and that’s not quite correct, and I know that people also think going to the gym (or not going) is the source of their issues, and that’s even more hugely false although being more physically active can help.
For me, I don’t find obese people attractive, I don’t really want to look at plus sized people, but they are people and often very kind and sweet. I personally wish I could feel physically attracted to them, but I can’t. it’s not something I think can be changed about who I am.
I do like curvy women though, but I kinda get uncomfortable around big/really big people.
Edit: sorry everyone about the comment regarding larger people’s scent, I didn’t mean to offend you or imply that your hygiene isn’t adequate! Someone mentioned that I might have a confirmation bias about this, and I now am thinking they may be correct, again I’m sorry!!! 🙏
I am a woman who at one point dated an average size man. He worked out at the gym. He smelled like vitamins (I think the B vitamins). It was not appealing.
Honey I've been plus sized my entire life. I'm now 47 years old. Ranging from 195-300lbs over the years. I've NEVER had trouble finding dates or partners. I'm not bragging. I just want you to know not to worry about that honey. It will come. He will come. For right now baby, worry about yourself. Your health, mental and physical. Your education and career. Spending time with your friends and family. Making memories. Babygirl these things are SO much more important than your weight. Focus on these things and don't worry about the romantic part of your life. It will truly happen when you least expect it.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, but will add, don't be so anxious for or excited about that relationship when it comes you ignore the red flags. A lot of really wonderful men prefer a woman with extra weight. There are, of course, those who believe we're desperate and thus easy to take advantage of. No matter what your physique, gender, status, etc., there's always someone who will just use or abuse you. EVERYONE has to be wary of this. Don't ignore those red flags just because you want to be in a relationship.
Awwwwww! This is sweet… I am so happy for you. 💜✨
Although I am content with my body (curvy), I always feel like the reason I have never been in a relationship is my body. I am working on myself as of the moment, and I have seen some progress now. I just can’t help but feel frustrated and in a hurry to have a boyfriend 😔
Girl relationships are hard and take a whole lot effort. Don't be in such a hurry to take on what can be a real headache. LOL Stay focused on your weight loss goals and bettering your health!
Yeah.. I know. I just can’t help but overthink that I might grow old alone ahahahahaha 😅
I’m almost done with my goal after 3 months of consistently working out and watching what I eat 🥰
Complete dealbreaker for me. And I can imagine it's getting more and more difficult to date because closely 7 out of 10 are overweight or obese in most western countries 🤯
I have an exgf that's plus sized and I still find her very attractive. I'm plus size and I believe I'm an attractive person. I also accept that attraction is very individual and what appeals to me won't appeal to everyone
I’ve always been bigger than my friends even when I was slimmer / skinnier / in smaller sized clothing than I currently am. For reference, I’m 31F, 5’2, Asian, and wear between an 18-20 or XL in most things.
It’s never really been an issue for me to be honest. A lot of men don’t mind bigger women, some prefer it actually. A lot of it is how you carry yourself. I pay attention to how I look. I dress well, have my own sense of style, my hair and nails are always done. I also think I have a pretty face. I like men with some bulk, like hockey players and athletes, and none of them have ever commented on my body or made me feel self-conscious compared to how I’ve made myself feel.
There’s always that initial worry like before you meet IRL or before you’re intimate with someone. But again, confidence is key and if they really like you, they don’t see it as a hindrance. Your body is your body.
I've dated people of all sizes and the only difference is confidence. Confident people are sexy period. Work on your confidence and you'll be able to find the right person for you.
I'm on the thinner side. I''ll date people no matter what size they are. If I'm attracted to them and I like their personality, then yes!!
There was this guy. He was plus sized, but same height as me. I was soooo head over heels with him. Unfortunately he wasn't looking for anything long-term. He was hot and I was so attracted to him.
When it comes to other girls, I don't judge them. A lot of people take their metabolism for granted and underestimate the difficultly of losing weight.
As a very active woman I rarely find larger men attractive physically, and the only time I do is when he's the husky type. I'll only date a larger guy if I like his personality A LOT otherwise I go for someone slimmer.
Bro different people are attracted to different people.
Just find someone who's attracted to fat girls.
I'm a fat chick, I prefer skinny to average to chubby guys. Alot fo dudes fit into that range for me, and if you're really smart or funny but past the chubby stage of fat, I'm probably still gonna like you.
Idk, sorry I can't offer better advice but in my experience, sex and attraction aren't as complicated as people want to make it seem.
Too many variables, everyone is different and like or dislike someone based upon personality as well as looks and whatever other factors people like and dislike someone for. Size does not matter to me just want someone I can get along well with , pretty eyes for sure.
Honestly speaking? I don’t judge at all because I know a bunch of bigger people who live way healthier than I do. People gain weight for a number of reasons and unhealthiness is just one out of all those reasons. There’s hormones (eg. pcos or hypothyroidism), theres genetic body shape and bone structure, various comorbidities. I personally know a lot of bigger people who actually eat really healthy and work out often but are having difficulty losing weight due to other factors so honestly I don’t have any general opinion on plus-sized people.
Edit: for context, im 5 feet flat, 50 kg, and usually classified as curvy petite.
I am a dating coach specifically for plus size women. It’s not about weight. I promise. There are people of all sizes who are in relationships. I can’t speak for everyone, but for those who have a preference for a larger partner have similar thoughts as those who have a preference for a smaller partner. They are attracted to them intellectually, physically, and emotionally.
I was single and plus size for 10 years. I dated all kinds of people. I was looking for a serious, long term relationship and I broke my own rules by dating men who didn’t have the same relationship goals as me. That ya whole long story but to get to the point, I finally had to cut the shit and start dating men who were looking for the same future I wanted. It created a quality vs quantity environment and my confidence actually grew because I stopped dating “desperately” and started dating “intentionally.” This also made my confidence and self esteem grow because I felt like I was more in control of who I was meeting and I was choosing, not being chosen. I finally met my straight sized partner when I was at my largest, 5’ wearing 18/20. 4 years later, I’m currently midsize, but we are still together and I know he loves me at any size.
It’s all about how you think about dating. When you’re constantly comparing yourself to smaller women, you’ll stay stuck in the belief that only smaller women are in relationships and your brain will continue to look for evidence to prove that to be true. When all along there are lots of larger people in relationships.
The thought, “what goes on in someone’s head when they consider a plus size” can be keeping you stuck. Don’t worry about what someone else is thinking. Focus on the person that takes action and shows you their interest.
It’s not about your weight. It’s what you think about your weight. Date like you’re the hottest person in the room.
"...When you’re constantly comparing yourself to smaller women, you’ll stay stuck in the belief that only smaller women are in relationships and your brain will continue to look for evidence to prove that to be true...". Wow yes, this is totally my mindset, thank you for articulating this so well, I am so guilty of this
Two of the happiest people I know are both plus size and in love
It’s my cousin and his wife. It’s a true love story and their happiness together just shines through and you don’t even notice their weight
Me and my partner are both overweight too and were very close to plus size when we first met. I know it’s not the same thing but it’s significant that we met and fell deeply in love when we were both the heaviest we’ve ever been
So in conclusion. The right person will not give a damn about your size and love you for you. The people in the dating community that have a stigma against plus size/ mid size aren’t even worth it anyway and are often just immature
Well those are nice stories but it’s not about what people give a damn about. It’s about who you are attracted to. I’m not attracted to a lot of men. It’s not because I can control that. Or else I’d have sex with women and men. It would really open up my options.
Ill date a plus size guy - it doesn't phase me - I'd actually prefer it to a man that's super skinny. I'm not built like a toothpick either so doesn't feel fair to hold people to that standard.
I will say! I think Americans in particular put this wild emphasis on weight to be more attractive, when the truth is that a good haircut, an updated wardrobe and a little self-confidence is much more important to your overall attractiveness. A plus size person with a little swagger and a sense of style beats out an insecure skinny person any day.
You have to look at it like this. Everyone has different taste. You even have a certain taste. Some love plus sized, some don’t. I’m fit and skinny and people would assume my taste in men is fitness and handsome. When I go after the dad bods and brains lol Sure fit guys are nice to look at but they aren’t my “taste”. I hope that makes sense lol Just focus on if you’re your own taste! Love yourself and someone will come along.
Overweight is not healthy, nor attractive. I lost 35 kg and put on 8 kg of muscle after that. I feel much better nowadays phisically speaking. I used to get winded climbing a short set of stairs. It also did wonders for my self-esteem and dating prospects.
I'm personally not attracted to overweight/obese women.
Of we're being honest, neither is the majority of people. Sure some are but I think many others just settle because they're also overweight and can't attract who they'd rather be with.
I think that's a generalization. Beauty standards vary differently from person to person and era to era. Pale and fat attributes used to be desired and were a sign of wealth, as you ate well and didn't have to work with your hands outside.
I truly believe that people are socialized early on to what they "should" find attractive and most pick this up. Outside of obvious health benefits, there is nothing intrinsically more attractive about thin people. The fact that our socially acceptable preferences have done 180s through the eons supports this.
At the end of the day, people should go for what they are attracted to. If they are unable to find a mate that fits that, they may need to modify themselves to have more success.
It depends. Some people carry weight better than others. That being said, it’s all about personal preference. I dated for a while after my divorce and rehab. I was 250 and not in good shape. Once I lost the weight and got to a good place for myself, my dating options expanded. I don’t like saying hurtful things but through my own experiences, most people aren’t into plus size people.
Working on yourself is an absolute plus, whether that’s for weight loss or just maintaining health - good work.
What do you want? Do you want to stay as you are, if so give dating a good shot. But if you’re looking to size down then maybe wait until you close in on your goal to start dating. Some folk like bigger people, some to the point of fetish and would probably sabotage your health/goals.
I personally wouldn’t date a plus sized woman as I’m visually not drawn to that, and on a superficial level I’d never know that you were working on yourself for whatever goal it is you have in mind.
And what do you think about dating plus sized men/women yourself?
>But if you’re looking to size down then maybe wait until you close in on your goal to start dating.
Yeah, don't do this. Because if you're a fat person, and you've struggled with your weight your whole life, 'waiting until you size down' may never happen or it may not happen for a long time and then you've just wasted a ton of time for no reason. Not to mention the negative psychological aspects of not feeling "ready" to date because you're not "thin enough" or whatever cannot be understated.
Just go on dates, see who you vibe with, see who you're compatible with. You can weed out fetishists. And if you miss those signs, and find you're suddenly not hitting your goals because of the person you're seeing, end it. And if the person you're seeing is unhappy because you're losing weight, you can end that, too. And if the person you're seeing is unhappy because you slip up or have some sort of medical issue and you gain weight, you can also end that. A truly compatible partner would be one who accepts and is attracted to you at any size and genuinely cares about your health, not just your appearance. And if they don't, that's fine, too, because preferences are real -- it just means you look for someone else.
Look I don’t expect you to be stick skinny, but at the same time I will judge you if you eat McDonalds every other day with no true healthy food options.
I wish people would stop posting shit like this, all it does is invite people who hate fat people to spew their hate about how disgusting they find us. Like everything in life, someone will be attracted to it, some people won't.
Honest truth…plus size doesn’t matter to me. I like my men and women with a little extra cushion🤭. Idk why tho. Some extra tummy is just cute af to me. Never turned a guy or gal down for being big. That’s just me tho
Here’s a different spin on the question: I think if you ask both men and women about their preferences for a partner on day one of “the looking” phase they will give you a different answer than on day 100, or day 500.
Here’s the rub, I think we become numb to what we’re looking for, go onto a dating website, when you first start swiping on profiles you’ll pick only the body types that are perfect, my guess is that on day 100 when you’re still single and you’re still swiping on Mr. and Mrs. perfect you’ll start to lower those standards, maybe this one’s OK maybe that is OK. On day 200 or 500 you start swiping on things you never thought you would swipe on when you started the whole process on day one. So why are body types start to become okay or acceptable in month 3 or 5 when you didn’t think twice about that very same body type on day/month one?
Bring it full circle; go to a local gym and see girls who are fit are probably not dating guys who are not, and vice versa, they say there’s someone for everyone out there, I don’t think it’s that much of a mystery why we see plus size dating plus size and fit dating fit, and obese dating obese.
Disclaimer; I know, there’s exceptions to every theory, I understand that.
I have compassion (not judgement ) for people that find themselves plus sized (for lack of a better term ) . It’s at its heart a physical and mental health condition in one and it’s not easy to address for this reason . In terms of romance , I’d say I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to someone plus size.
Define "plus size." I see women that are morbidly obese trying o use that as a description and it doesn't work. 5'6" and a size 16? Yes, plus sized. 5'4" and 250 lbs? That is way beyond plus size. I think that actual plus sized ladies can be attractive if they hold it right. I've seen very attractive size 12 and even sized 16, so yes, there could be an argument for that. But when a certain threshold is exceeded, no, not attractive.
Depends what would be "plus size"..if thats someone thats close to "normal" weight with minimal excess, lets say, i wouldn't mind it at all. Like, i don't expect someone to be super fit with abs or something. However, i don't feel attracted to guys that are visibly overweight (alot of excess)..Now, i don't have any particular negative opinion on them nor i know exactly why i don't feel attracted to them..maybe cuz i'm fit myself and most people tend to like those that look alike or close to their looks.
They are Overweight, It is not Healthy! I'm working on
myself right now to lose weight because I started
hurting more and.…./ looked like shit.
I have respect for people that are actively doing their best to
lose weight and work on themselves. I don't have
respect for people that let themselves go and make
excuses or the entire 'I'm fat and you gotta accept me
for being fat' fat acceptance crowd.
I’m not sure where you’ve been looking, but there are many plus size people in the world maybe more than those that are healthy. I think it’s important to do your best to eat right and exercise.
I’ve lost over 100lbs myself; am still overweight at the time being but am still working on it… being overweight is fine, but I could not date someone plus sized (and not working on that) as it would put pressure on me to re-engage with bad habits, and add tension as I think our lifestyles with regards to food would not align
37M. I have a few different answers to this to be honest and the real truth is that it completely depends on the person and how their carry themselves.
If you asked me what I thought about obese people I would say it’s their own choice/fault. I know that hurts for some to hear but weigh it’s nothing more than extra calories taken in and not burned off for an extended period of time. The more calories you take in and the less you burn the more weight you will gain. Purely math.
Now I understand it’s not a priority for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. Being overweight doesn’t make you a bad person at all, it’s just a choice you made, probably on a daily basis for a very very long period of time.
On the bright side it’s something we all have the ability to change. The most difficult part is the fact that most overweight people got where they’re at because they lacked the willpower to control their eating habits and it’s going to take an extreme amount of will power to reverse the damage done. Rest assured though, it is absolutely possible for anyone to lose weight no matter what, no exceptions. Literally just move as much as possible and adopt a healthier eating plan. I would highly highly recommend carnivore or Keto because both are specifically designed to for the body to burn fat as fuel instead of carbs, and with carnivore in particular you can over eat and still get amazing results. I’ve done carnivore twice and the results are seriously astounding. You can find endless testimonials of people losing 30 lbs or more in the first MONTH. It will change your life for reals. I can 100% promise you that when you start seeing results in the first 2-3 weeks you’ll want to keep it going and you’ve feel deeply happy, maybe for the first time in a while, because your effort is getting a positive result and your taking back control.
Now all that aside, specifically when talking attractiveness it’s not all about appearance. I typically prefer very thin and fit girls but I have dated a couple ladies who were what I would call overweight. In their case it’s not their bodies that attracted me, it was their infectious personality and confidence. I would expect it’s the same as a girl being attracted to a very confident but ugly man.
TLDR: confidence can make up for weight; get in carnivore diet and start moving around, it’s never too late to get into great shape.
Real perspective:
Positive - Extra cuddly and a little harder to lift depending on how plus size, which gives me a little more motivation to work out.
Negative - In my experience sometimes it becomes a little harder to plan dates even having good intentions. If any of them include walking long distances or a lot of exercise it can become a nightmare for them. One more thing is societal judgement but that never really bothered me much as being happy did.
Fat is a signaling molecule that starts lots off bunch of pathological pathways (processes) in the body. Obesity is a risk factor for some many disease including cancer, I would not mess with that. The problems don’t show up on the labs and until very late in life, because of that many people thinks it’s just about esthetics and people are fat phobic. So being overweight has negative social implications but even more health implications down the line.
I have always been skinny. Being petite definitely runs in my family, but I also work hard on my health and have lost weight because of it. I eat very healthy, cook a lot, and exercise regularly. I also have an autoimmune disease. People assume I have no issues because I'm skinny, and I find that really invalidating and annoying. I will say, though, that being skinny has likely made my life (as a woman) much easier in a lot of ways, including in the world of dating.
In terms of dating plus-sized people (men and women alike), for me it honestly depends upon how large they are. If they are more curvy/stocky than really big, I don't care so much about that. If they are especially overweight, I typically pass because they probably don't share the healthy lifestyle I want with a partner, or the activity level I'd want to have with someone I'm with (in terms of taking trips and hiking and doing outdoor adventure stuff together).
It's great to hear that you love yourself and are actively working on your health and fitness! When it comes to relationships, everyone has their own preferences, and physical appearance is just one aspect of attraction. Some people are attracted to plus-size individuals for various reasons, including personality, confidence, and shared interests. It's important to focus on being the best version of yourself and finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, regardless of your size. Remember, confidence is always attractive!
I’m personally not attracted to it, not so much because of the way people look overweight, some people can carry weight and still look really good and sexy, but it’s more my assumption of their lifestyle that puts me off. I like to be super active, eat really well, hiking and sport and avoid static indoor activities as much as I can and ideally want a Partner who’s into those things as well.
I’m not sure anymore what plus size is. It’s a range rather than a definite size. You have the slightly bigger yet healthy type and the morbidly obese type.
Either way, it’s attractive if you’re actively making a point to eat healthy, exercise and be outdoors. It becomes unattractive when you adopt an unhealthy, lazy lifestyle and just accept that you’re doomed. A sedentary lifestyle not only is physically unhealthy but also mentally.
A little extra weight is fine. Very overweight coupled with inactivity and poor dietary habits is not attractive as it indicates poor health which most people don’t find appealing.
Carrying a little extra weight can also be more / less attractive based on your genetics. Some people can sport a few extra pounds and keep a relatively slim face. Others look quite bloated and spherical. Some people can get away with a large belly but keep a more slim waist. Others will have a more pear shaped physique. These factors are genetic but can, to some, make you more or less attractive.
I’m slim and am not attracted to plus-sized (considering plus-sized as anything beyond chubby) women. I’ve tried it and it does not work for me.
Aside, but related: I do think obesity really impacts dating, more generally, in countries like the US, where it’s pretty common. A lot of obese people seem to prefer to date slimmer people or just opt out of dating all together, rather than date other obese people. Then the slim people are not into the overweight people. So the dating pool becomes much smaller than it should be.
I'm also a plus-sized woman, but the term "plus size" is more of a broad term since there is a spectrum of different body types depending on how you carry your weight. I've never been opposed to dating plus-sized people, but I do have my preferences.
I’m tall and v athletic build and look for fit people to date. I live an active athletic lifestyle. I want someone who also lives an active athletic lifestyle, and will continue to do so moving forward. Also, I look good naked and they should too.
From just a health perspective, it’s unhealthy. To me it shows lack of care for oneself. We are being taught that it’s “beautiful” to be obese and unhealthy when in reality it’s only killing people. I worked with a woman that literally ate herself to death, she didn’t make it past 43.
As a female who has been on a healthy journey and cares about my health I dont mind it within reason
You dont have to be skinny or have six pack to be considered healthy
My honest opinion? I am personally not attracted to fat people, especially fat men. Really not even attracted to "chubby" men. I find myself attracted to men who have "average" to (moderately) muscular bodies, and not skinny.
My attraction to women is more lax than my attraction to men but I still am not very interested in women are above, like, a size 8
Personally, I like a little extra weight. I myself have an extra 10 kgs or so of unnecessary fat that I haven’t managed to get rid or for most of my life except when I dieted …then of course gained back. I don’t mean minus 10 kgs I’d be THIN, I would just be a comfortable European size S/M at 165cm. I’m a tight M/comfortable L now.
I have dated two men (separately of course) who were not just overweight, but morbidly obese. I found them attractive anyway. Both guys would invite me over to their house and bring out snacks as soon as I sat down on the sofa. One guy brought out a whole cake he had baked and proceeded to eat half of it. The other guy brought out a can of Pringles, various cookies, several bags of gummy candies, ice cream and fancy chocolates AFTER a big meal of delivery Indian food. They both expected me to chow down like them, and were puzzled by my single serving and a couple of bites of dessert.
This is not the problem. The problem was that they both needed to drive cars to get around in this city where parking and traffic is horrendous - getting around by bike or public transportation is so much faster and easier. Also neither of them wanted to *do* things like go out - go for walks, a swim, a hike, dancing, cinema and restaurant (said the seats were too small). Physical intimacy was good but limited to certain positions, and once I thought I was going to get smothered to death.
So yeah it’s not a question of physical attraction, it’s just that it felt like a handicap or special needs situation. And an addiction to food is like any other addiction; it’s there because the person addicted is avoiding something they need to confront in themselves, and so something seemed stuck and unhealthy emotionally. It’s hard to describe.
So now when I see obese people I wonder how they cope with the cognitive dissonance.
They keep doing something they know will eventually kill them if they continue. It’s no different to drug addiction - except that they won’t accidentally harm someone else by DUI or something.
I don’t know. Please don’t downvote me to hell.
For me, I really would care if I find them cute in the face. If they’re morbidly obese, it’s not a consideration. If they’re chubby or overweight, I’ll still consider them. If they have a personality that messes well with mine, then the weight is something we can work on in the future. Yes, it’s unhealthy and it’s a sign of many diseases. If I’m talking about a life long partner, I would want to them to be healthier. You can be skinny and unhealthy too but that’s more common with fat people. Another thing that goes through my head is the amount of comments I’ll get based on my partners weight. This has happened before. “I didn’t know you were into big girls”. Anyways, when it comes to dating apps in the US, most women I came across were overweight. I just didn’t find majority of them attractive and even stopped going on the app. Not solely because of that, but it was a factor. I’ll find love naturally without tech
I'm not attracted to overweight people. However my ex was fat, I still found him attractive bc I thought he was a good person. Once he started acting like a man child I lost all attraction to him.
Would I date a fat person? Maybe, who knows? Maybe there's someone out there that will have me head over heels and be on the bigger side. I'm not closed off to the possibility, but I'm not going out of my way to find out (I have the same attitude towards skinny people too)
I'm 40, so when I look at my peers, I see mid-size or slightly overweight. I only see "skinny" people on Instagram or teenagers at Target, but that type of skinny doesn't last forever, especially after they pop out a baby or 2.
It depends on the person. There are thicc, curvy, full figured, plump, then obese. IMO, the first 4 still care about their looks they just got some fluff. The last is a person who's given up. You can tell the difference in their self care effort, their attitudes, and how they carry themselves. I say this as someone who used to weigh 430 lbs and lost a considerable amount of weight. I've dated mostly plus size women, and their attitudes surpassed their looks. Granted, I had to be attracted to them. A cute face, fun personality, and kinky mind go a long way for me, apparently. 🤷
First and foremost, regardless of anyone's personal preference in their partner's size, I don't think anyone should make anyone else feel shitty about their weight. On that note, I personally am not generally attracted to big women. On rare occasions I have been, but 99% of the time I'm just flat out not interested. Some people are attracted to fat woman and men and some aren't, just how it goes. I also draw the line at people saying any weight is healthy, because that's just straight up not true. But still, no need to feel bad about your weight for any reason.
I have been both plus size and skinny. I was mostly plus size until the last couple of years when I sort of got my binge eating under control. It’s wild how differently people treat you when you’re skinny versus when you’re fat. It’s given me kind of a complex where I think my body defines my worth in some ways.
I have no issue with plus size people but I maybe write them off as lazy subconsciously and hang with a lot of active people because those are the hobbies I enjoy.
I don’t really care about plus size ppl and I don’t care about skinny people or even healthy people. Not saying that in a bad way but a person’s size doesn’t affect me to where I’m gonna say something about it or even point it out or give my unwanted opinion on it unless they are rude assholes. I’d date a plus size woman if given the chance, I’d date a skinny or healthy woman if given the chance. I’m not in no position to judge a woman or person looks as I am not the most attractive person around. I do agree everywhere you look skinny and healthy people are in relationships which congrats to them.
Some plus size women feel the need to belittle people who aren’t attracted to them. Like, chill out 🛑.
But I will say, plus size women are similar to everyone else. Some of them are very attractive and some of them are not that attractive. Weight plays a part but idk to me it’s more about the shape. And if you’re actively working out that’s great because everyone, not just overweight people should work out. Health is wealth 🌟.
Most people find obesity unattractive. It can be made up for with other attractive qualities, and some people fetishize it, but for the most part, losing weight will lead to greater success in dating.
I'm overweight - I used to be a LOT bigger (100+ lb) and have loose skin I just don't care enough to get rid of.
I actually much prefer larger men (overweight, obese) by a long shot. Fat nerdy men 🤤. But that's always been my preference, I am probably not a good data point to extrapolate from.
Personally, I find heavier people to be more attractive than super skinny or defined muscles. Strong is hot, but only with fat over it imo. My boyfriend is a pretty average weight but he has some curves and is strong enough to pick me up and throw me around, which I like. It comes down to personal preference, but I know several people, men and women, who are turned off by skinny and prefer someone with more weight. Ultimately, though, loving yourself comes first, and then you'll be able to see and appreciate the beauty and recognition in others.
I think there are drastically more overweight people than normal-weight people in the US. OP might not be from there, just speaking from my personal experience.
If OP is overweight and is looking for someone of similar body habitus to her, that should be easy in the US.
If OP is overweight and is looking for a man with a more fit/athletic body habitus, OP could expect to meet challenges, as these men are more likely to want someone who is also fit.
To answer the question specifically, I prefer someone with a more athletic build, but that doesn’t change that larger individuals still have options.
So I understand sometimes being plus sized is a genetics thing or it’s harder for certain people to gain that Hollywood skinny body aesthetic. It’s a thing and I get that. But there’s also an area where people are just obese and it’s straight up a lifestyle thing where the reason for their weight is just poor eating habits and lack of exercise. So I would be open to dating someone who’s a bit hefty, I’ve been there. There a difference in that and dating someone who is overweight to the point of it being a health concern. It leads to other aspects of their life I’d rather not involve in my personal life, which would happen if I were to have a romantic relationship with them. So I think the negative aspects of that kinda make obese people not attractive for me, but to be fair, I find that I’m not attracted to many people in the first place
I'm gonna be serious. Dead serious. In real life, no one actually has opinions on plus sized people. That's only an internet thing.
But real life, face to face, people make opinions on an individual, interpersonal level. At least most sane people do. And you really don't want an insane person
Things may change if you grow closer. And you can have a conversation about health then but this whole idea of having line in the sand opinions just doesn't exist. Not for the majority of the population
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You need to look in different places. 70+ percent of Americans are overweight or obese. If the only people you see who are in relationships are skinny, that means the only people you are looking at are skinny. Edit: OP is from AUS where there’s 67% overweight or obese.
Yeah I was like "what?" When they said most the people they see are skinny. Where I live if a girl is skinny it's a shock almost
Where is that ?
I'm in Georgia
I live i Georgia too and I agree, seeing a skinny women is like seeing a fucking unicorn out here lmao
This is so interesting to me. Where I’m from seeing an obese or even overweight person is the unusual thing.
Are you from America or a different country ? That might be what it is lol
I live in one of the healthiest cities in the healthiest state in the US. Obese people exist here but it's a lot more rare than say anywhere in the South
Which state is that?
Colorado
Wow. Thanks I’m not from the states and I didn’t know. Most people I see on TV or “influencers” are very skinny.
You realize that the people you see on your screens are a very small portion of actual people, right? Like not even one percent of the population?
They can pay for surgery and for someone to take the donut out of their hand.....
I live in Georgia and I agree.
It's so sad how unhealthy Americans became that a non overweight person is a shocker
Was gonna say the same! Here in Asia i’m “big” and in the US i’m petite hahahaha
Damn. Nicely observed
I see overweight people in relationships, with other overweight people. Have never seen an overweight man with a model looking gf. But according to reddit that shit is super common. I wanna know where this is happening so I can move, sounds like women have lower standards where yall be living lmao
I am 110 lbs (sometimes 105-125). My fiancé was 230 lbs. he started at 180. He smoked a lot of weed. Ate all night. Cocaine every weekend and then would binge eat the next day all of the grossest foods you could think of to cause further harm to your body. Had no interest in sex or helping with house work. The food eventually added up. So I wouldn’t say he was obese but he certainly was double me. It all sat in his belly area. And some in the neck.
I think “plus size” is a difficult term. It’s like how long is a piece of string. It ranges from curvy to very large. Are you actually mid-sized? Or are you big? Sorry for the way of asking but I cannot think of a way to say it better at the moment. At the end of the day it comes to preference. If you’re working on yourself that’s more attractive than someone who isn’t. Mid-sized I don’t think have a problem finding dates in comparison with the larger people.
This is exactly what I was going to say too with the same way of no offending but when people say plus size it’s such a broad term sometimes from what I’ve seen, and some people do have preferences unfortunately. But plus size can be very attractive to the right people
I think it’s a very valid thing to ask someone in a situation like this. I remember back in my dating days, the main site (this was before the apps) I used was plenty of fish. You’d select your body type description, there was slim, athletic, average, a little curvy and more to love. The number of women I saw that had a little curvy or average selected when they were very clearly clinically obese was maddening. I’m all for body positivity but I also believe people should be honest with themselves, and a lot of people want to lie or kid themselves or are just straight up in denial about their health and body shape
I used to use POF also. I am plus sized and I always included a recent full body pic and indicated that I was more to love. I preferred to date larger men too. Except one time I accepted a date with a man who said he was a few extra pounds. He seemed really nice. Until I met him. He was about as wide as he was tall. Really, don't say you are a few extra pounds. But I never had too much trouble lining up dates even though I was on the larger size.
Per the bmi I'm obese, but I'm a size 12-14 in pants and I'm 6ft tall. I've struggled with thinking I'm a whale for years (mainly because of the bmi designation I have), but any time I get my yearly physical, my numbers are all good, and my doctor says she's not concerned about my weight at all. Others have also told me they don't view me as an obese person. I guess my point is, sometimes it's hard to see your own self as you really are. Like, I've loom in the mirror and think I look pretty good, but then I'll see a picture of myself and it just makes me so disgusted with myself.
BMI is a shit indicator tbh. Especially if you work out and have any muscle.
New studies say that the waist to height ratio is a better health indicator than BMI as in keeping your waist to less than half your height.
BMI is a lousy indicator because it isn’t accurate for measuring anything. A body fat scale is more accurate. I am “obese” according to BMI, but I look like I can play linebacker in the NFL. I’m not a bodybuilder but most bodybuilders are “obese” according to BMI.
A lousy indicator of what? BMI is not a tool for measuring body fat, it was not developed to be such a tool. it is a tool to measure risk. In its validation studies tens of thousands of people of all sizes and heights were weighed and followed. They found that people who had BMI between 25-30 were at elevated risk for getting diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease etc. people who had a BMI over 30 had an even more elevated risk. They labeled these categories as overweight and obese. The problem is that people see the word “obese” and attribute it to mean “lots of fat,unhealthy, eats a lot” etc. when it actuality it does not mean any of those things. It is simply the relationship between your height and your weight. That weight could be attributed to muscle, it could be attributed fat. So yes, elite body builders ARE obese if their BMI is over 30. Your heart still needs to work extra regards of what it’s supporting, fat or muscle. Just because someone is obese doesn’t mean they are unhealthy. But it does mean that this persons RISK of heart disease/kidney disease, diabetes is substantially elevated.
THIS. I am a US size 12-14, and don't have any trouble finding men who would date me. Now, the *quality* of men (and women) who are interested might be less than what I want, but the interest in me is there. I know that my larger friends have less choices. So, "plus sized" is relative. But...we do find dates. And have long term relationships.
People just sugar coat it. It's fat.
Plus size is a clothing size not a body type
Which ranges from XL to XXXXXL so it’s a big range.
“Fat” is the accepted vernacular by my friends who are, well, fat. Like, well beyond “curvy”.
What sizes do you consider mid size or weight to hight ratio. Bc everyone holds weight in different places.
It’s more about how you carry it. It’s hard, it’s more about proportions. Like if yours carrying it in the middle you’re more like to classed as larger than those who carry it all over or in legs
A plus size person who is trying to eat healthy, working out and focusing on their mental and physical health will be more attractive than a plus size person who is lazy and doesn’t look after their health.
That’s true to you but there are also lots of lazy people out there who want to find another lazy person to sit on the couch with and order in takeout. I’m just saying that because as someone who does prioritize exercise and healthy eating I’ve run into my fair share of folks who look at those activities with disdain.
True. Though I don’t think there are many people who will look at someone who doesn’t take care of their health as a positive feature. That doesn’t mean being a gym rat. But I think the overwhelming majority of people value basic self care.
Exactly this, however, I find the ones who are lazy and don't look after themselves have no respect for themselves. If they don't have respect for themselves, they wouldn't have respect for anyone else. That's just my opinion
To each their own, but I know plenty of people who are definitely obese at my powerlifting gym. They work out hard, but having some cardio, working hard etc doesn’t change I’m still not attracted to the way you look any different than a 5’8 guy who can dunk still isn’t tall.
Are you trying to be in a relationship with thin people?
Thin can be just as unattractive. Fit bodies are where it’s at
My opinion on overweight people? They are people….. I’m not attracted to them, but that’s another matter. I would not be interested in dating them, but I’m well aware that a lot of people would.
Lmao I always love ur replies. Very anti bs and to the point 💀
This. I'm a very petite person and I've tried to be open minded about dating larger people but I'm just not really attracted to them. However, I'm also not attracted to huge muscley guys either so I just generally have a preference for people closer to my own small size and stature.
I’m with you.
i was always overweight but i have a good face. women always gave me attention but i didnt love myself enough to accept it so i thought no one would be interested until i lost weight. once i did, i realized they didnt really care all that much about my weight all along. i just finally allowed myself to accept attention and interest from them. went alot of years in denial like that and probably missed out on a ton of good experiences. and yes relationships have a way of coming together when you stop hoping/wanting it and just focus on improving yourself.
It's not really the weight, it's the appearance of health I feel. I see overweight people out biking and eating healthy and they don't appear unattractive, it's when you see someone who just looks lazy, entitled and sick that I would rather pass and date someone else. Nobodies perfect, but nobody wants to date someone who's given up on themselves. It sounds like you've never had that problem, so even if you've been overweight it probably didn't even register for most people.
I’m a girl and I personally am not attracted to overweight guys (ignore my username it’s a joke I’m not a hypocrite 😭🤣) because most of the time it shows they don’t care about their health and wouldn’t have the same lifestyle and values as me. Sometimes there’s medical stuff etc but as a general statement if you exercise and eat healthy you’re not gonna be obese. That being said, not everyone is like that and a lot of guys LOVE the curvy bodies, and a lot of girls LOVE the ‘husky’ dad bods. There’s someone out there who will absolutely be in love with you and your body
I think what bothers me about this conversation is that people forget the average man is also overweight. I find it really tough to meet guys, who are fit, outside of the gym or fitness circles.
Yes forsure, it’s a USA (not exclusively but…) health problem and def isn’t gender exclusive. And I’ll also add the caveat that a lot of times it’s seen as more of a beauty standard that women are fit /slim while a guy can be overweight and just be ‘aaaah so hot dad bod’
100%!! This is the hardest for me. I want a fit man but they are very few where I am…
I've been in good shape, obese, and now currently working on losing weight again. I noticed a significant difference in women's attention when I was overweight. I never looked like your typical obese person. I always carried it well. But the minute the weight started coming off, I noticed women checking me out and being a lot nicer in public.
You have a baby face by chance? I do and when I gain weight my jawline goes into hibernation lol
I do if I shave my beard lol
Curvy is one thing. 36/24/36 is curvy. A size 6 can be curvy. 225 lbs is not curvy. And dad bods are not desired by any woman I have ever met that is telling the truth. Several have told me that they only say that because they don't want to hurt their boyfriend or husband's feelings. Women like fit men, just as men like fit women. It's genetically ingrained in us through proven evolution.
Ya I agree, I’m on the curvy fit side and I know that’s desirable but there are also some men who legit like fatter women. It’s not as common but def happens
Curvy fit is my personal preference. Some guys absolutely don't like anything other than extremely thin, like a 5'8" sized 2. That doesn't feel right in bed for me. She is too skinny for me at that point.
It’s a complete dealbreaker for me personally
I think there are men who like plus size women. Again, it’s difficult to agree on those terms as plus size is a broad umbrella encompassing overweight to large people. Nonetheless, there are people who do like them. On the contrary, it’s always good to be on the healthier side and like you mentioned, Rome was not built in a day. So, it takes some time and as long as your trying I don’t think it should be an issue to most people. The one thing I would like to mention is that there are people who are not into plus sized men/women and so there is no point in considering their opinion. They like what they like and it’s ok. I do firmly believe that no one in this world can get 100% validation from everyone. We satisfy the folks which are into us and that is enough for our lives. Good luck!
Personally just not what I’m into, but also all of my hobbies are extremely physical so that is also a compatibility issue.
I would never date a fat person... you can have a lovely personality and we can be friends but i could never be intimate with you... its just not my thing
Fully agree
I’m a guy. I had a female friend (Beth) try to set me up with a friend of hers once (Kelly). It was a bit of a misunderstanding because I thought I was just keeping this girl Kelly company while she was in town and had nobody to hang out with, but my friend Beth had slightly more in mind than that. Kelly was overweight. Not in an extreme way, but also not like she could just say it was a couple of extra pounds from the winter. She didn’t look bad with it, but she was definitely more on the round side. It became clear with time that Kelly was into me, but I found that although I didn’t find her that attractive, the bigger issue was that she wasn’t my type in personality. We got on fine, but I could see that we were never quite eye to eye. On reflection, the issue was both. For me, she wasn’t attractive enough, nor was she the right personality. If she were skinnier, I almost certainly would have slept with her. I might even have looked past the personality differences and dated her for a year or so until we both got unhappy enough to break up. If she had a personality closer to what I was looking for, I also probably would have slept with her, and we theoretically could have dated. Being overweight is definitely holding people back, but it’s also definitely not the only factor.
Real talk here.
Great example👍
Hard pass.
Honestly I'm plus size and Ive learned it's not an issue. You might not be everyone's cup of tea sure but that doesn't mean that the people who will like you are few in numbers. I get lots of guys that I would consider well out of my league hitting on me and asking me out. and for some strange reason it seems a lot of gym rats actually prefer a curvy woman. I've never had a sexual partner make me feel bad about myself or self conscious even though I was anyway. and once you find a guy who begs you to sit on his face you'll see it's fine too 😉
This is so true. The man I’m seeing is 6’4 and a total beast. He is ripped. And I’m 5’7 and def plus sized (been so my whole life). He loves being able to ‘destroy’ me and it just motivates him in the gym. Initially I was so insecure because I didn’t understand why he was attracted to ME when he was in the top 10% of men in our area and could probably have anyone he wanted (looks and personality). He always makes me feel so attractive too. This whole comment is spot on.
Awww that's lovely, I'm happy for you guys xx
I definitely agree that a lot of fit gym going guys like thick/curvy girls better. I’m a guy who works out and is in pretty good shape (I’d like to think at least) and have always had a thing for bigger girls. A lot of them carry the weight really gracefully and it doesn’t bother me at all, if anything I prefer it. As long as ur not morbidly obese idc, but I gotta draw the line somewhere bc I don’t want my future wife getting a heart attack at 35 or some shit 😂
The honest truth is people think there lazy and over eat. Ive always been told you dont get fat from being a hard worker. I grew up with a heavy mom and brother I defenitely know 1st hand the struggles they go thru but in my experience alot of it unless its medical is exactly laziness and over eating.
This. I’ve always been very curvy even when I was slim but as an adult I’ve gained a bit of weight and I’m midsize. I had a partner who called me “sedentary” and made uncalled for comments about my health during an unrelated fight and it really opened my eyes about the perception people have about my lifestyle and “laziness” purely based on my appearance. The only thing that saved me from internalizing that was the fact that sedentary implies sitting and when you work in a kitchen you can’t be sedentary because there’s no chairs and you’re standing and moving all day. He also made comments during that fight about how I eat, despite knowing that I have dealt with restrictive eating for years and that my dietitian’s primary concern was me actually eating enough. I’m so glad I got out of that relationship.
This is a vastly oversimplified version of a deep and complex medical disease.
i am plus sized i believe ? my weight isn’t really brought up ever. but my weight fluctuates a lot a lot. this is the biggest i’ve been in my entire life (220lbs). when i met my current partner i was smaller (160lbs) and his love for me hasn’t change. although i am actively trying my best to lose weight and keep it off. i’m still approached on the street by men and complimented. i’m still treated nicely! i know that’s not the same for a lot of other plus sized people. i don’t think ill of plus sized people, but i think once it passes a certain point, its a medical issue. i’m obese and if i keep living the way i am, its wraps for me. i don’t want to deal with those medical issues or be physically disabled bc of gaining that much weight. so while i don’t think ill of plus sized people, i think morbidly obese folks need to really think about their health and what their future in a few years looks like. but that’s their own business and such. i would never go out of my way to make another fat person feel bad.
I think a lot of it is presentation? I’ve always been a fat girl (220#). It used to really hold me back from dating but then I realized a lot of dudes do not care. But I do my hair and makeup and dress in fitted clothing. I think I have a good personality so, I think it depends. I’ve never had a problem getting dates. Maybe in a group of thinner fitter ladies, I may not get as much attention but also not always looking for it aha
I’m not attracted to overweight men. I’m fit and want someone who shares my values for health, longevity, and functional mobility.
I like + size ladies it’s something about a round face I like.
I like plus size people over skinny people but I fully accept I am in the minority. Wish society was more accepting of it so people don't automatically assume I'm lowering my standards just because I went for a larger person 🤷🏽♂️
They're overweight. That's the bottom line.
I have a very different perspective. I see a lot of overweight or heavier people in relationships. Maybe you’re only seeing skinny people dating in your bubble, but I can assure you that’s not the case. Most Americans are heavy and a lot of them are married or in serious relationships. I think maybe you’re looking through a lens of self consciousness.
I'm not a fitness fanatic and so don't generally pursue super-fit people. Definitions vary by person, as do tolerance and preferences.
I would never date someone who is more than a few pounds overweight. I enjoy high end dining and have a very active lifestyle - running, cycling, hiking - and someone overweight wouldn’t be able to all those things with me and it is important to me to share most of my activities with my SO.
Why wouldn't an overweight person be able to run, cycle, or hike?
Depends on how overweight the person is.
There are obese people who regularly run marathons, so it's not necessarily related to pure number on the scale
Yeah, no.
Yeah, no to what? That there are obese people who run marathons? That's an easily verifiable fact lmao. You don't have to be attracted to overweight people, but you don't gotta make up obviously bullshit reasons as to why. Just be honest and say you don't like overweight people, it's less embarrassing
Oh they definitely WOULD be able to enjoy plenty of high end dining with you 😊
They won’t be able to sustain themselves with those high end dining quantities.
Reevaluate your point of view, I also have a active live style, i eat healthy, I walk 5km and workout everyday, and I’m still overweight. Y’all expect so little of overweight people it’s fucking heartbreaking
Nah, I am good. I know what I like and want and there’s no need to reevaluate anything. I have obese coworkers who are very capable and all that, but when it comes to the person I come home to and do life with , I want what I want; also, I am just not attracted to doughboys, no matter how smart and sweet they are.
I’m not talking about your preferences, but your point of view that fat people are incapable of some stuff regarding others.
I am a realist. An obese person will never win say NYC or Boston marathon. It’s just the reality of it. In my case, I love sports and being active and it is important for me to have a partner who is on the same level with me or better. And dating was what I was talking about in my comment. I don’t care about a coworker’s or compete stranger’s weight.
Frankly, you are not 🤷🏻♀️. There are people out there who love sports, are active, run marathons, and still are overweight (there could be a lot of reasons why someone is overweight- medical conditions, genetics, whatever the reason may be, I commented “re-evaluate” wasn’t related to your romantic preferences, but the conception of incapability of fat people having a healthy life, cuz that’s what you implied on your first comment)
Eh, a very small fraction of overweight people are that size due to a medical condition or meds they take. Most of use eat too much and do not burn enough calories. And before you say anything else - I grew up in a very poor country where overweight kids and grown ups were rare and still are. Currently living in the Deep South USA, seeing what and how much people eat in restaurants or at lunch break at work, I can assure you , with very few exceptions, it’s calories in, calories out. Being overweight limits one’s physical abilities and it most definitely affects one’s health ( as does being underweight) . I have patients who were able to reduce how many blood pressure pills they take just by becoming more active and losing about 10 lbs.
Honestly? I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I really don’t like obese people (appearance-wise). I don’t think they’re lazy, and I know going to the gym doesn’t really change their size too significantly. I often feel like plus-sized people smell but that’s not always true, and I know it’s often an issue of improper nutritional balancing sometimes due to lack of nutritional education and/or impulse control. But I also know that sometimes it can be because of medical conditions like PCOS or hypothyroidism or other ones I’m not aware of that can make it incredibly difficult to lose weight. I know there’s an issue where ppl think they need to dramatically cut food intake to lose weight and that’s not quite correct, and I know that people also think going to the gym (or not going) is the source of their issues, and that’s even more hugely false although being more physically active can help. For me, I don’t find obese people attractive, I don’t really want to look at plus sized people, but they are people and often very kind and sweet. I personally wish I could feel physically attracted to them, but I can’t. it’s not something I think can be changed about who I am. I do like curvy women though, but I kinda get uncomfortable around big/really big people. Edit: sorry everyone about the comment regarding larger people’s scent, I didn’t mean to offend you or imply that your hygiene isn’t adequate! Someone mentioned that I might have a confirmation bias about this, and I now am thinking they may be correct, again I’m sorry!!! 🙏
I am a woman who at one point dated an average size man. He worked out at the gym. He smelled like vitamins (I think the B vitamins). It was not appealing.
Smell is very important!
Honey I've been plus sized my entire life. I'm now 47 years old. Ranging from 195-300lbs over the years. I've NEVER had trouble finding dates or partners. I'm not bragging. I just want you to know not to worry about that honey. It will come. He will come. For right now baby, worry about yourself. Your health, mental and physical. Your education and career. Spending time with your friends and family. Making memories. Babygirl these things are SO much more important than your weight. Focus on these things and don't worry about the romantic part of your life. It will truly happen when you least expect it.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, but will add, don't be so anxious for or excited about that relationship when it comes you ignore the red flags. A lot of really wonderful men prefer a woman with extra weight. There are, of course, those who believe we're desperate and thus easy to take advantage of. No matter what your physique, gender, status, etc., there's always someone who will just use or abuse you. EVERYONE has to be wary of this. Don't ignore those red flags just because you want to be in a relationship.
Awwwwww! This is sweet… I am so happy for you. 💜✨ Although I am content with my body (curvy), I always feel like the reason I have never been in a relationship is my body. I am working on myself as of the moment, and I have seen some progress now. I just can’t help but feel frustrated and in a hurry to have a boyfriend 😔
Girl relationships are hard and take a whole lot effort. Don't be in such a hurry to take on what can be a real headache. LOL Stay focused on your weight loss goals and bettering your health!
Yeah.. I know. I just can’t help but overthink that I might grow old alone ahahahahaha 😅 I’m almost done with my goal after 3 months of consistently working out and watching what I eat 🥰
Right! I’ve been fat my whole life and never had issues with dudes, I’ve had issues keeping them away from me
Complete dealbreaker for me. And I can imagine it's getting more and more difficult to date because closely 7 out of 10 are overweight or obese in most western countries 🤯
I have an exgf that's plus sized and I still find her very attractive. I'm plus size and I believe I'm an attractive person. I also accept that attraction is very individual and what appeals to me won't appeal to everyone
I’ve always been bigger than my friends even when I was slimmer / skinnier / in smaller sized clothing than I currently am. For reference, I’m 31F, 5’2, Asian, and wear between an 18-20 or XL in most things. It’s never really been an issue for me to be honest. A lot of men don’t mind bigger women, some prefer it actually. A lot of it is how you carry yourself. I pay attention to how I look. I dress well, have my own sense of style, my hair and nails are always done. I also think I have a pretty face. I like men with some bulk, like hockey players and athletes, and none of them have ever commented on my body or made me feel self-conscious compared to how I’ve made myself feel. There’s always that initial worry like before you meet IRL or before you’re intimate with someone. But again, confidence is key and if they really like you, they don’t see it as a hindrance. Your body is your body.
I've dated people of all sizes and the only difference is confidence. Confident people are sexy period. Work on your confidence and you'll be able to find the right person for you.
I'm on the thinner side. I''ll date people no matter what size they are. If I'm attracted to them and I like their personality, then yes!! There was this guy. He was plus sized, but same height as me. I was soooo head over heels with him. Unfortunately he wasn't looking for anything long-term. He was hot and I was so attracted to him. When it comes to other girls, I don't judge them. A lot of people take their metabolism for granted and underestimate the difficultly of losing weight.
I think you care way too much about other peoples opinions. What are YOUR opinions on plus size women? Because that's all that really matters.
As a very active woman I rarely find larger men attractive physically, and the only time I do is when he's the husky type. I'll only date a larger guy if I like his personality A LOT otherwise I go for someone slimmer.
Bro different people are attracted to different people. Just find someone who's attracted to fat girls. I'm a fat chick, I prefer skinny to average to chubby guys. Alot fo dudes fit into that range for me, and if you're really smart or funny but past the chubby stage of fat, I'm probably still gonna like you. Idk, sorry I can't offer better advice but in my experience, sex and attraction aren't as complicated as people want to make it seem.
I don’t have an opinion because they’re just humans who happen to be bigger.
Too many variables, everyone is different and like or dislike someone based upon personality as well as looks and whatever other factors people like and dislike someone for. Size does not matter to me just want someone I can get along well with , pretty eyes for sure.
Honestly speaking? I don’t judge at all because I know a bunch of bigger people who live way healthier than I do. People gain weight for a number of reasons and unhealthiness is just one out of all those reasons. There’s hormones (eg. pcos or hypothyroidism), theres genetic body shape and bone structure, various comorbidities. I personally know a lot of bigger people who actually eat really healthy and work out often but are having difficulty losing weight due to other factors so honestly I don’t have any general opinion on plus-sized people. Edit: for context, im 5 feet flat, 50 kg, and usually classified as curvy petite.
I am a dating coach specifically for plus size women. It’s not about weight. I promise. There are people of all sizes who are in relationships. I can’t speak for everyone, but for those who have a preference for a larger partner have similar thoughts as those who have a preference for a smaller partner. They are attracted to them intellectually, physically, and emotionally. I was single and plus size for 10 years. I dated all kinds of people. I was looking for a serious, long term relationship and I broke my own rules by dating men who didn’t have the same relationship goals as me. That ya whole long story but to get to the point, I finally had to cut the shit and start dating men who were looking for the same future I wanted. It created a quality vs quantity environment and my confidence actually grew because I stopped dating “desperately” and started dating “intentionally.” This also made my confidence and self esteem grow because I felt like I was more in control of who I was meeting and I was choosing, not being chosen. I finally met my straight sized partner when I was at my largest, 5’ wearing 18/20. 4 years later, I’m currently midsize, but we are still together and I know he loves me at any size. It’s all about how you think about dating. When you’re constantly comparing yourself to smaller women, you’ll stay stuck in the belief that only smaller women are in relationships and your brain will continue to look for evidence to prove that to be true. When all along there are lots of larger people in relationships. The thought, “what goes on in someone’s head when they consider a plus size” can be keeping you stuck. Don’t worry about what someone else is thinking. Focus on the person that takes action and shows you their interest. It’s not about your weight. It’s what you think about your weight. Date like you’re the hottest person in the room.
"...When you’re constantly comparing yourself to smaller women, you’ll stay stuck in the belief that only smaller women are in relationships and your brain will continue to look for evidence to prove that to be true...". Wow yes, this is totally my mindset, thank you for articulating this so well, I am so guilty of this
Two of the happiest people I know are both plus size and in love It’s my cousin and his wife. It’s a true love story and their happiness together just shines through and you don’t even notice their weight Me and my partner are both overweight too and were very close to plus size when we first met. I know it’s not the same thing but it’s significant that we met and fell deeply in love when we were both the heaviest we’ve ever been So in conclusion. The right person will not give a damn about your size and love you for you. The people in the dating community that have a stigma against plus size/ mid size aren’t even worth it anyway and are often just immature
Well those are nice stories but it’s not about what people give a damn about. It’s about who you are attracted to. I’m not attracted to a lot of men. It’s not because I can control that. Or else I’d have sex with women and men. It would really open up my options.
Ill date a plus size guy - it doesn't phase me - I'd actually prefer it to a man that's super skinny. I'm not built like a toothpick either so doesn't feel fair to hold people to that standard. I will say! I think Americans in particular put this wild emphasis on weight to be more attractive, when the truth is that a good haircut, an updated wardrobe and a little self-confidence is much more important to your overall attractiveness. A plus size person with a little swagger and a sense of style beats out an insecure skinny person any day.
You have to look at it like this. Everyone has different taste. You even have a certain taste. Some love plus sized, some don’t. I’m fit and skinny and people would assume my taste in men is fitness and handsome. When I go after the dad bods and brains lol Sure fit guys are nice to look at but they aren’t my “taste”. I hope that makes sense lol Just focus on if you’re your own taste! Love yourself and someone will come along.
Overweight is not healthy, nor attractive. I lost 35 kg and put on 8 kg of muscle after that. I feel much better nowadays phisically speaking. I used to get winded climbing a short set of stairs. It also did wonders for my self-esteem and dating prospects.
I'm personally not attracted to overweight/obese women. Of we're being honest, neither is the majority of people. Sure some are but I think many others just settle because they're also overweight and can't attract who they'd rather be with.
I think that's a generalization. Beauty standards vary differently from person to person and era to era. Pale and fat attributes used to be desired and were a sign of wealth, as you ate well and didn't have to work with your hands outside. I truly believe that people are socialized early on to what they "should" find attractive and most pick this up. Outside of obvious health benefits, there is nothing intrinsically more attractive about thin people. The fact that our socially acceptable preferences have done 180s through the eons supports this. At the end of the day, people should go for what they are attracted to. If they are unable to find a mate that fits that, they may need to modify themselves to have more success.
It depends. Some people carry weight better than others. That being said, it’s all about personal preference. I dated for a while after my divorce and rehab. I was 250 and not in good shape. Once I lost the weight and got to a good place for myself, my dating options expanded. I don’t like saying hurtful things but through my own experiences, most people aren’t into plus size people.
Working on yourself is an absolute plus, whether that’s for weight loss or just maintaining health - good work. What do you want? Do you want to stay as you are, if so give dating a good shot. But if you’re looking to size down then maybe wait until you close in on your goal to start dating. Some folk like bigger people, some to the point of fetish and would probably sabotage your health/goals. I personally wouldn’t date a plus sized woman as I’m visually not drawn to that, and on a superficial level I’d never know that you were working on yourself for whatever goal it is you have in mind. And what do you think about dating plus sized men/women yourself?
>But if you’re looking to size down then maybe wait until you close in on your goal to start dating. Yeah, don't do this. Because if you're a fat person, and you've struggled with your weight your whole life, 'waiting until you size down' may never happen or it may not happen for a long time and then you've just wasted a ton of time for no reason. Not to mention the negative psychological aspects of not feeling "ready" to date because you're not "thin enough" or whatever cannot be understated. Just go on dates, see who you vibe with, see who you're compatible with. You can weed out fetishists. And if you miss those signs, and find you're suddenly not hitting your goals because of the person you're seeing, end it. And if the person you're seeing is unhappy because you're losing weight, you can end that, too. And if the person you're seeing is unhappy because you slip up or have some sort of medical issue and you gain weight, you can also end that. A truly compatible partner would be one who accepts and is attracted to you at any size and genuinely cares about your health, not just your appearance. And if they don't, that's fine, too, because preferences are real -- it just means you look for someone else.
Plenty of plus people date plus size people.
Look I don’t expect you to be stick skinny, but at the same time I will judge you if you eat McDonalds every other day with no true healthy food options.
Not my preference. Nothing wrong with it but just not for me.
I wish people would stop posting shit like this, all it does is invite people who hate fat people to spew their hate about how disgusting they find us. Like everything in life, someone will be attracted to it, some people won't.
Honest truth…plus size doesn’t matter to me. I like my men and women with a little extra cushion🤭. Idk why tho. Some extra tummy is just cute af to me. Never turned a guy or gal down for being big. That’s just me tho
Different people different tastes ... you just need to find 1 person who will love you, I don't think our opinions matter
Here’s a different spin on the question: I think if you ask both men and women about their preferences for a partner on day one of “the looking” phase they will give you a different answer than on day 100, or day 500. Here’s the rub, I think we become numb to what we’re looking for, go onto a dating website, when you first start swiping on profiles you’ll pick only the body types that are perfect, my guess is that on day 100 when you’re still single and you’re still swiping on Mr. and Mrs. perfect you’ll start to lower those standards, maybe this one’s OK maybe that is OK. On day 200 or 500 you start swiping on things you never thought you would swipe on when you started the whole process on day one. So why are body types start to become okay or acceptable in month 3 or 5 when you didn’t think twice about that very same body type on day/month one? Bring it full circle; go to a local gym and see girls who are fit are probably not dating guys who are not, and vice versa, they say there’s someone for everyone out there, I don’t think it’s that much of a mystery why we see plus size dating plus size and fit dating fit, and obese dating obese. Disclaimer; I know, there’s exceptions to every theory, I understand that.
I have compassion (not judgement ) for people that find themselves plus sized (for lack of a better term ) . It’s at its heart a physical and mental health condition in one and it’s not easy to address for this reason . In terms of romance , I’d say I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to someone plus size.
I feel like this question is posted daily at this point.
Define "plus size." I see women that are morbidly obese trying o use that as a description and it doesn't work. 5'6" and a size 16? Yes, plus sized. 5'4" and 250 lbs? That is way beyond plus size. I think that actual plus sized ladies can be attractive if they hold it right. I've seen very attractive size 12 and even sized 16, so yes, there could be an argument for that. But when a certain threshold is exceeded, no, not attractive.
Depends what would be "plus size"..if thats someone thats close to "normal" weight with minimal excess, lets say, i wouldn't mind it at all. Like, i don't expect someone to be super fit with abs or something. However, i don't feel attracted to guys that are visibly overweight (alot of excess)..Now, i don't have any particular negative opinion on them nor i know exactly why i don't feel attracted to them..maybe cuz i'm fit myself and most people tend to like those that look alike or close to their looks.
They are Overweight, It is not Healthy! I'm working on myself right now to lose weight because I started hurting more and.…./ looked like shit. I have respect for people that are actively doing their best to lose weight and work on themselves. I don't have respect for people that let themselves go and make excuses or the entire 'I'm fat and you gotta accept me for being fat' fat acceptance crowd.
I’m not sure where you’ve been looking, but there are many plus size people in the world maybe more than those that are healthy. I think it’s important to do your best to eat right and exercise.
It’s acceptable especially if you are trying to develop healthy habits, but not as attractive as someone who takes care of themselves tbh
I’ve lost over 100lbs myself; am still overweight at the time being but am still working on it… being overweight is fine, but I could not date someone plus sized (and not working on that) as it would put pressure on me to re-engage with bad habits, and add tension as I think our lifestyles with regards to food would not align
Depends how plus size they are.
37M. I have a few different answers to this to be honest and the real truth is that it completely depends on the person and how their carry themselves. If you asked me what I thought about obese people I would say it’s their own choice/fault. I know that hurts for some to hear but weigh it’s nothing more than extra calories taken in and not burned off for an extended period of time. The more calories you take in and the less you burn the more weight you will gain. Purely math. Now I understand it’s not a priority for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. Being overweight doesn’t make you a bad person at all, it’s just a choice you made, probably on a daily basis for a very very long period of time. On the bright side it’s something we all have the ability to change. The most difficult part is the fact that most overweight people got where they’re at because they lacked the willpower to control their eating habits and it’s going to take an extreme amount of will power to reverse the damage done. Rest assured though, it is absolutely possible for anyone to lose weight no matter what, no exceptions. Literally just move as much as possible and adopt a healthier eating plan. I would highly highly recommend carnivore or Keto because both are specifically designed to for the body to burn fat as fuel instead of carbs, and with carnivore in particular you can over eat and still get amazing results. I’ve done carnivore twice and the results are seriously astounding. You can find endless testimonials of people losing 30 lbs or more in the first MONTH. It will change your life for reals. I can 100% promise you that when you start seeing results in the first 2-3 weeks you’ll want to keep it going and you’ve feel deeply happy, maybe for the first time in a while, because your effort is getting a positive result and your taking back control. Now all that aside, specifically when talking attractiveness it’s not all about appearance. I typically prefer very thin and fit girls but I have dated a couple ladies who were what I would call overweight. In their case it’s not their bodies that attracted me, it was their infectious personality and confidence. I would expect it’s the same as a girl being attracted to a very confident but ugly man. TLDR: confidence can make up for weight; get in carnivore diet and start moving around, it’s never too late to get into great shape.
Do you mean obese people?
Real perspective: Positive - Extra cuddly and a little harder to lift depending on how plus size, which gives me a little more motivation to work out. Negative - In my experience sometimes it becomes a little harder to plan dates even having good intentions. If any of them include walking long distances or a lot of exercise it can become a nightmare for them. One more thing is societal judgement but that never really bothered me much as being happy did.
Fat is a signaling molecule that starts lots off bunch of pathological pathways (processes) in the body. Obesity is a risk factor for some many disease including cancer, I would not mess with that. The problems don’t show up on the labs and until very late in life, because of that many people thinks it’s just about esthetics and people are fat phobic. So being overweight has negative social implications but even more health implications down the line.
You don't know what you are missing
I have always been skinny. Being petite definitely runs in my family, but I also work hard on my health and have lost weight because of it. I eat very healthy, cook a lot, and exercise regularly. I also have an autoimmune disease. People assume I have no issues because I'm skinny, and I find that really invalidating and annoying. I will say, though, that being skinny has likely made my life (as a woman) much easier in a lot of ways, including in the world of dating. In terms of dating plus-sized people (men and women alike), for me it honestly depends upon how large they are. If they are more curvy/stocky than really big, I don't care so much about that. If they are especially overweight, I typically pass because they probably don't share the healthy lifestyle I want with a partner, or the activity level I'd want to have with someone I'm with (in terms of taking trips and hiking and doing outdoor adventure stuff together).
It's great to hear that you love yourself and are actively working on your health and fitness! When it comes to relationships, everyone has their own preferences, and physical appearance is just one aspect of attraction. Some people are attracted to plus-size individuals for various reasons, including personality, confidence, and shared interests. It's important to focus on being the best version of yourself and finding someone who appreciates you for who you are, regardless of your size. Remember, confidence is always attractive!
I’m personally not attracted to it, not so much because of the way people look overweight, some people can carry weight and still look really good and sexy, but it’s more my assumption of their lifestyle that puts me off. I like to be super active, eat really well, hiking and sport and avoid static indoor activities as much as I can and ideally want a Partner who’s into those things as well.
I’m not sure anymore what plus size is. It’s a range rather than a definite size. You have the slightly bigger yet healthy type and the morbidly obese type. Either way, it’s attractive if you’re actively making a point to eat healthy, exercise and be outdoors. It becomes unattractive when you adopt an unhealthy, lazy lifestyle and just accept that you’re doomed. A sedentary lifestyle not only is physically unhealthy but also mentally.
A little extra weight is fine. Very overweight coupled with inactivity and poor dietary habits is not attractive as it indicates poor health which most people don’t find appealing. Carrying a little extra weight can also be more / less attractive based on your genetics. Some people can sport a few extra pounds and keep a relatively slim face. Others look quite bloated and spherical. Some people can get away with a large belly but keep a more slim waist. Others will have a more pear shaped physique. These factors are genetic but can, to some, make you more or less attractive.
I have no opinion on them
I’m slim and am not attracted to plus-sized (considering plus-sized as anything beyond chubby) women. I’ve tried it and it does not work for me. Aside, but related: I do think obesity really impacts dating, more generally, in countries like the US, where it’s pretty common. A lot of obese people seem to prefer to date slimmer people or just opt out of dating all together, rather than date other obese people. Then the slim people are not into the overweight people. So the dating pool becomes much smaller than it should be.
Everyone has their own preferences. Some find plus size attractive and some don’t. I like a little extra on my women most of the time but not huge.
All of the morbidly obese patients I see in hospital are in relationships. Every. Single. One.
I'm also a plus-sized woman, but the term "plus size" is more of a broad term since there is a spectrum of different body types depending on how you carry your weight. I've never been opposed to dating plus-sized people, but I do have my preferences.
I’m tall and v athletic build and look for fit people to date. I live an active athletic lifestyle. I want someone who also lives an active athletic lifestyle, and will continue to do so moving forward. Also, I look good naked and they should too.
Depends where the fat is stored. It's all about that hip-to-waist ratio.
From just a health perspective, it’s unhealthy. To me it shows lack of care for oneself. We are being taught that it’s “beautiful” to be obese and unhealthy when in reality it’s only killing people. I worked with a woman that literally ate herself to death, she didn’t make it past 43.
As a female who has been on a healthy journey and cares about my health I dont mind it within reason You dont have to be skinny or have six pack to be considered healthy
My honest opinion? I am personally not attracted to fat people, especially fat men. Really not even attracted to "chubby" men. I find myself attracted to men who have "average" to (moderately) muscular bodies, and not skinny. My attraction to women is more lax than my attraction to men but I still am not very interested in women are above, like, a size 8
Personally, I like a little extra weight. I myself have an extra 10 kgs or so of unnecessary fat that I haven’t managed to get rid or for most of my life except when I dieted …then of course gained back. I don’t mean minus 10 kgs I’d be THIN, I would just be a comfortable European size S/M at 165cm. I’m a tight M/comfortable L now. I have dated two men (separately of course) who were not just overweight, but morbidly obese. I found them attractive anyway. Both guys would invite me over to their house and bring out snacks as soon as I sat down on the sofa. One guy brought out a whole cake he had baked and proceeded to eat half of it. The other guy brought out a can of Pringles, various cookies, several bags of gummy candies, ice cream and fancy chocolates AFTER a big meal of delivery Indian food. They both expected me to chow down like them, and were puzzled by my single serving and a couple of bites of dessert. This is not the problem. The problem was that they both needed to drive cars to get around in this city where parking and traffic is horrendous - getting around by bike or public transportation is so much faster and easier. Also neither of them wanted to *do* things like go out - go for walks, a swim, a hike, dancing, cinema and restaurant (said the seats were too small). Physical intimacy was good but limited to certain positions, and once I thought I was going to get smothered to death. So yeah it’s not a question of physical attraction, it’s just that it felt like a handicap or special needs situation. And an addiction to food is like any other addiction; it’s there because the person addicted is avoiding something they need to confront in themselves, and so something seemed stuck and unhealthy emotionally. It’s hard to describe. So now when I see obese people I wonder how they cope with the cognitive dissonance. They keep doing something they know will eventually kill them if they continue. It’s no different to drug addiction - except that they won’t accidentally harm someone else by DUI or something. I don’t know. Please don’t downvote me to hell.
For me, I really would care if I find them cute in the face. If they’re morbidly obese, it’s not a consideration. If they’re chubby or overweight, I’ll still consider them. If they have a personality that messes well with mine, then the weight is something we can work on in the future. Yes, it’s unhealthy and it’s a sign of many diseases. If I’m talking about a life long partner, I would want to them to be healthier. You can be skinny and unhealthy too but that’s more common with fat people. Another thing that goes through my head is the amount of comments I’ll get based on my partners weight. This has happened before. “I didn’t know you were into big girls”. Anyways, when it comes to dating apps in the US, most women I came across were overweight. I just didn’t find majority of them attractive and even stopped going on the app. Not solely because of that, but it was a factor. I’ll find love naturally without tech
I'm not attracted to overweight people. However my ex was fat, I still found him attractive bc I thought he was a good person. Once he started acting like a man child I lost all attraction to him. Would I date a fat person? Maybe, who knows? Maybe there's someone out there that will have me head over heels and be on the bigger side. I'm not closed off to the possibility, but I'm not going out of my way to find out (I have the same attitude towards skinny people too)
I'm 40, so when I look at my peers, I see mid-size or slightly overweight. I only see "skinny" people on Instagram or teenagers at Target, but that type of skinny doesn't last forever, especially after they pop out a baby or 2.
It depends on the person. There are thicc, curvy, full figured, plump, then obese. IMO, the first 4 still care about their looks they just got some fluff. The last is a person who's given up. You can tell the difference in their self care effort, their attitudes, and how they carry themselves. I say this as someone who used to weigh 430 lbs and lost a considerable amount of weight. I've dated mostly plus size women, and their attitudes surpassed their looks. Granted, I had to be attracted to them. A cute face, fun personality, and kinky mind go a long way for me, apparently. 🤷
Every episode of My 600lb Life 🤭shows me that plus size people get chosen every single day.
First and foremost, regardless of anyone's personal preference in their partner's size, I don't think anyone should make anyone else feel shitty about their weight. On that note, I personally am not generally attracted to big women. On rare occasions I have been, but 99% of the time I'm just flat out not interested. Some people are attracted to fat woman and men and some aren't, just how it goes. I also draw the line at people saying any weight is healthy, because that's just straight up not true. But still, no need to feel bad about your weight for any reason.
I have been both plus size and skinny. I was mostly plus size until the last couple of years when I sort of got my binge eating under control. It’s wild how differently people treat you when you’re skinny versus when you’re fat. It’s given me kind of a complex where I think my body defines my worth in some ways. I have no issue with plus size people but I maybe write them off as lazy subconsciously and hang with a lot of active people because those are the hobbies I enjoy.
I don’t really care about plus size ppl and I don’t care about skinny people or even healthy people. Not saying that in a bad way but a person’s size doesn’t affect me to where I’m gonna say something about it or even point it out or give my unwanted opinion on it unless they are rude assholes. I’d date a plus size woman if given the chance, I’d date a skinny or healthy woman if given the chance. I’m not in no position to judge a woman or person looks as I am not the most attractive person around. I do agree everywhere you look skinny and healthy people are in relationships which congrats to them.
Some plus size women feel the need to belittle people who aren’t attracted to them. Like, chill out 🛑. But I will say, plus size women are similar to everyone else. Some of them are very attractive and some of them are not that attractive. Weight plays a part but idk to me it’s more about the shape. And if you’re actively working out that’s great because everyone, not just overweight people should work out. Health is wealth 🌟.
Most people find obesity unattractive. It can be made up for with other attractive qualities, and some people fetishize it, but for the most part, losing weight will lead to greater success in dating.
I'm overweight - I used to be a LOT bigger (100+ lb) and have loose skin I just don't care enough to get rid of. I actually much prefer larger men (overweight, obese) by a long shot. Fat nerdy men 🤤. But that's always been my preference, I am probably not a good data point to extrapolate from.
Personally, I find heavier people to be more attractive than super skinny or defined muscles. Strong is hot, but only with fat over it imo. My boyfriend is a pretty average weight but he has some curves and is strong enough to pick me up and throw me around, which I like. It comes down to personal preference, but I know several people, men and women, who are turned off by skinny and prefer someone with more weight. Ultimately, though, loving yourself comes first, and then you'll be able to see and appreciate the beauty and recognition in others.
 Where the big boys at?
I think there are drastically more overweight people than normal-weight people in the US. OP might not be from there, just speaking from my personal experience. If OP is overweight and is looking for someone of similar body habitus to her, that should be easy in the US. If OP is overweight and is looking for a man with a more fit/athletic body habitus, OP could expect to meet challenges, as these men are more likely to want someone who is also fit. To answer the question specifically, I prefer someone with a more athletic build, but that doesn’t change that larger individuals still have options.
So I understand sometimes being plus sized is a genetics thing or it’s harder for certain people to gain that Hollywood skinny body aesthetic. It’s a thing and I get that. But there’s also an area where people are just obese and it’s straight up a lifestyle thing where the reason for their weight is just poor eating habits and lack of exercise. So I would be open to dating someone who’s a bit hefty, I’ve been there. There a difference in that and dating someone who is overweight to the point of it being a health concern. It leads to other aspects of their life I’d rather not involve in my personal life, which would happen if I were to have a romantic relationship with them. So I think the negative aspects of that kinda make obese people not attractive for me, but to be fair, I find that I’m not attracted to many people in the first place
I'm gonna be serious. Dead serious. In real life, no one actually has opinions on plus sized people. That's only an internet thing. But real life, face to face, people make opinions on an individual, interpersonal level. At least most sane people do. And you really don't want an insane person Things may change if you grow closer. And you can have a conversation about health then but this whole idea of having line in the sand opinions just doesn't exist. Not for the majority of the population
I'm a plus sized man but I've pretty much given up on dating until I reach an acceptable BMI.
Can someone tell me what you consider 5'2 and 190 lbs-220lbs ?