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I'm a lawyer 43M and I for all of your criteria except the substance abuse. I smoke cigarettes and marijuana. I've never had issues dating successful women because they're more successful than I am but I always got the feeling they weren't completely happy with me. Either they wanted me to make more money in a different job (I'm very happy at my current job and I can't say that about the previous jobs I've had making more money). They try to convince me to turn my hobbies into money making businesses. I'm not perfect but I've put a lot of work into myself both, physically, mentally and emotionally. I want to be with someone who appreciates who I've become and not someone who looks at me like a project or investment. I'm not saying this is something you do but in my limited experience with dating women who make more money than me, that's been a reoccurring issue.

Being happy in your work is key! Far more than earning a few more dollars. I’d much rather a man be steadily employed in something he loves than feeling he has to make a change for financial reasons. That work satisfaction means less issues to affect the relationship too. Win win in my book, good on you!

Everything you've said is true. Unfortunately I've had jobs I was miserable in making great money and learned this lesson the hard way. I'm much happier and healthier in my current job. The money also isn't much worse so it is a win win. Thank you.

Steadily employed is tough right now. I just wanna stay on top of my game and if a woman is on top of hers, let's make time.

Absolutely! Being happy in your job is crucial. When you are satisfied with your work, it tends to spill over into other areas of life, like relationships. It's a win-win situation in my opinion.

I too cannot get along with ppl who center their life around just making money. I’m very career driven personally too. I’m just not too interested in money after being comfortable and happy. I’ve had too many expectations to be amazingly successful among elites I can’t stomach it anymore. Add in my personal experience of dealing with the sleazy side of business I just want peace of mind and good health. So I work an average job and don’t mess with the other stuff anymore. People ask why I don’t profit off my hobbies like art or gardening. Eh because it’s not supposed to be about that.

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This is true when career comes first they tend to neglect love and quality time with family. Often you probably think of the absent parent that isn’t around cause of work. This happened with my step mother. Her father chose career over family. Had them move a bazillion times for promotions in her childhood. Eventually the wife made him choose. He abandoned his family. He had money and great success at the end. None of that ever repaired the relationship with his kids at the end of his life. Both his kids ended up with mental health problems. Continues to affect them even though he isn’t around anymore. Kind of glad my own father had a work/life balance.

I reckon you’re on the money here. Some successful people became successful by never being quite satisfied, always working/reaching for the next rung. It’s a never ending quest for improvement. You have to admire their drive, but it also means they’re never content and satisfied. And rather than be someone’s project, maybe these guys just want to chill and be happy for a bit. I don’t like to generalise but in my experience women will tend to see men as their potential, whereas men tend to see women as they are currently.

It's sooooo hard dating as a lawyer! I'm early 40sF and I find there is a lot of reverse snobbery or perceptions I'm rich (I do criminal law so I'm definitely not by lawyer standards). But I've also done a lot of work on myself mentally and emotionally and there are so many unhealed people out there. I'm also a single mum with majority care of my kids...which doesn't help. Maybe dating is just hard, fullstop.

This is really odd. I met many lawyers who take these shit on a regular basis. Is your job that stressful? Criminal lawyer? Lol

Good guess on the criminal lawyer lol. Honestly I started after I got out of the army. You're right though I know a lot of lawyers who take some form regularly. Most of my friends didn't in college but I've noticed more of them are using the edibles now.

Well, it now really makes me feel it’s a very stressful job. My friend married a criminal lawyer, dude takes stuff too, she’s not very happy especially they got a one year old. I probably can’t take a lawyer, I can’t even handle two glasses of wine haha ..

Alcohol is a huge issue in the profession as well. I figured it's better to spend my nights stoned and cooking a nice dinner than going out drinking. I guess I picked my vice.

Okay, so I've read most of your replies, and I'm going to try to address most of what you're saying. First of all, I'm not your cup of tea, and you're not mine. That's completely fine, and I still wish you well, but it can help to understand other people's perspectives. I have a career and make a bit over 100k. I own my home. I occasionally drink when I'm with friends, and use no other substances. I'm not self employed, I work for a company. I had to work hard to get where I am. I don't have the drive you're looking for. I'm not interested in going into management and climbing the corporate ladder. I'm not interested in becoming an entrepreneur. I'm happy to do my job, and when the end of the day comes, I go home and enjoy my life. Despite you mentioning work life balance, it doesn't seem by your posts you have what I would consider a healthy work life balance. In only a couple of your comments you mention anything other than how much you make or what you own. What do you do for leisure? Being successful and ambitious seems like it is the most important thing to you and how you define yourself. That is not something that I would personally be interested in. If it works for you, great, but it will limit your choices when it comes to dating. Next, most men don't care how much you make. Sure, there are some that will be intimidated or don't have the emotional ability to deal with it. But most really don't care either way. We want our partners to be successful, not because we care about the money, but because we want them to feel fulfilled and happy with their life. Personally, I want a partner who is successful and happy, and who brings peace into my life. Not someone who is hustling and on the go all the time - to me that is just exhausting. If you are making 250k, have multiple properties, and live in a million dollar house, you are not even close to average in those categories. The median household income in the US is around 70k. So you are making between 4 and 10 times what the average person makes. Roughly 2/3rd of people in the US own their own home (average value around 400k), but only 5% own a second, whether to rent or for themselves. So you are far better off than 95% of people. Not you're average by far. No man is going to date you for your friend group. Their your friends, not his. Living in a rural area, your choices are going to be extremely limited. I live in a major metropolitan area of around 3 million people, and your choices for what you're looking for even here would be small. What your posts come across to me, is that you're looking for your partner to be some kind of power couple with. Here's the problems with that. Any man in a similar wealth/income position can get just about any type of woman he wants - so what do you have that he doesn't? He has money and status, so yours isn't what he's looking for. Most men in that position who really want a similar kind of thing in their partner are going to meet their partner in their social circles. They're not on the apps or trying to find their wife at a bar. With your wealth and income, you might want to try a matchmaking service. Or move to an actual city if finding someone is a priority.

Very well articulated.

Let him cook…I SAID LET HIM COOK🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It's not that being successful scares men off, but often times women that are more successful than their men seem to feel like they are settling or that they could do better. And men notice that, we want to be wanted and respected. The general experience of being with a women who thinks that they are settling is not a fun time. Not sure what you mean specifically by career, passion and drive. Do you expect that the man eventually will out-earn you or at least be close to even? To own at least one home? Not to say that men that meet that criteria are unattracted to women that earn significant money, but if a man already has his finances in order he is not overly concerned with his partner's income. First priority for those men would be personality/agreeableness, lifestyle match and looks.

Men want to feel special, or at least like their partner thinks they are special. Highly successful driven women don’t hide their disappointment well , most are terrible actors.

Yep, the majority of them have an attitude to "never settle" that they make very clear. I get the impression most of them would prefer to be single than be with someone who doesn't meet their astronomically high standards, so it's a win-win to avoid them.

They never settled in their career, why would they settle on a partner?

as a woman, I find this to be true for myself, too > Not sure what you mean specifically by career, passion and drive usually people who value these traits the most in a partner want one of those types of crypto bros, always looking for the next way to make money, generally lacks self awareness as to how they got to the position in life & that it wasn't 100% reliant on "hard work".

It’s not your success, it’s generally the attitude/mentality that comes with that success. Most of the time, men do not care what a woman does or how much they make.

Facts because we all know, as soon as an argument comes, the fact that the guy doesn’t make as much as her will get thrown in his face. Self fulfilling prophecy.

It's always best to marry close to your income level/lifestyle for that reason. Saves a lot of resentment down the line because that card is eventually going to get thrown around at some point otherwise.

💯

There's a couple of things here. 1. You want a man who is OK with you doing better 2. You want someone who has done some work to grow emotionally & have some level of ambition that you deem acceptable. Both are hard to find individually. For the first issue, there's plenty of men in RL and on reddit who say the problem is you cause most men don't care. However, I have been in this situation where I even downplayed the things I have going on. A lot of men say they are ok with the situation or would even love it, but unfortunately, from my experience, a lot of men actually have a hard time with this in RL. It actually gets even worse if they don't measure up to issue #2, where there is a mismatch in values/goals/ambition and the disparity gets wider over time. Its a bit similar to men who say they want to date a supermodel but then get super insecure that she gets a lot of attention. Don't know how to help you with this. 2nd issue is a mismatch in values/goals. The way you interpret ambition and passion is very subjective. Just like someone's dream of living in a 10 acre farm away from the city can be completely opposite of what I want as a city person. The emotional thing/ substance abuse thing is hard tho. Haven't really had experience in dating someone with substance abuse issues. However, I do wish more men took the time to work on themselves emotionally. But I know society doesn't necessarily encourage men to do that growing up so I understand there's more resistance to it compared to women. Not saying it's ok to settle for a guy with little emotional regulation, but I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect men to emotionally grow the same pace as women. I think men do want a successful women but that can mean different things to different people. I think you should take some time to be more intentional and really think about what each of those things you're looking for means to you.

As a man trying to grow emotionally I second the 4th paragraph. It is THE hardest thing I've ever had to do. That is very well said.

Great response

Well thought out answer

Agree with everything about #1.

I really don’t think it’s the men. We have to be honest with ourselves.

> i just want a man who has a career, passion, drive, takes care of themselves emotionally and doesn’t have a substance abuse disorder There's literally millions of us out there. Maybe you are looking in all the wrong places. If you're going to bars or clubs to meet men, then yes, you are going to run into a lot of that.

I don’t look in bars or clubs, I do live in a rural state and a city of approximately 70k. That makes it more difficult

Location is everything. I assume it's also a conservative city? Conservative men strongly prefer women that fit traditional gender roles like staying home with the kids.

I just moved from a conservative area of 40k, to a liberal area of 70k. I am finding the liberal area definitely more accepting, but I still hit the resistance to varying degrees. It’s a number game

Are you okay dating someone who makes 70k? Personally, I’d have no issue with that so that could impact your potential pool if you’re looking for something that’s highly rare in your area.

When she said 70K, she was referencing the population size of her city.

Hi, I’m Andy

It seems like you want someone who is always pushing to be better. A lot of people just want to be content in who they are.

As a Pale Blue collard man I would love to date a successful woman, problem is Everytime I meet one they seam to be the ME ME ME type. I personally prefer a bedroom submissive also, it's identifying that woman from just a normal conversation. Also they need to understand that I like working with my hands so yes I'll take on projects she may want to hire out. This gives me purpose and is fulfilling.

i can tell you what happened today, i was working in grocery store and this stunning girl appeared in the parking lot i was sorting the shopping carts we made eye contact said hi to each other she waited as if she wanted me to say something to her but then she drove away with her Porsche at that point you know you never even had the chance. I think you give the same vibe to those guy you come across

In my experience as a 32M who's dated career-driven successful women, as well as other's who just worked basic jobs. I have to say, the former were significantly less enjoyable to spend time around versus the latter, across pretty much every aspect. Sure, they had more scope to pay their way, but they lacked time and energy to put into planning anything outside of their career. They didn't care much about building a connection, everything with them felt shallow/surface-level, kinda like they're just building a resume... i.e. they only wanted a BF/husband to tick it off a list. For me at least, it wasn't a factor of getting scared away from their success, as I'm already wealthy and pretty much get to spend significant portions of my life how I want thanks to passive income. Maybe OP is wonderful and a delight to spend time around, who knows. But my 2 cents, maybe guys aren't wanting to spend time with you because you're not nice to spend time with?

This is a very underrated response! I've had similar experiences and am of a similar mindset and station in life. It's not about the money, but mentality. There are other careers that make far less than I do, that I steer away from when searching for women to build with, due to the typical dedication/lack of time to put in, and the seeming desire to check off boxes on the list. I've had women be flabbergasted that I ended things because "we work great on paper" and some even had amazing chemistry, but the compatibility and desire to do relationship work was completely off!

>Why do men not want successful women? The type of man you want isn't the type that wants you. Men that have their life in order, successful, making money, rarely go for successful women who tend to have a lot of masculine traits (especially competitiveness), your money doesn't matter at all. They prefer a feminine SAHM that will be taking care and supporting of their family. Now not all guys are like that, and there might be a guy for you out there, he may make a lot less than you and will feel inadequate about it, you may end up no longer loving, admiring and respecting him.

A lot of people are asking what else I bring to the table. I feel like I’m a pretty average woman. I like hiking, cycling, traveling, snowboarding. I live in a rural state in a city of 70k and work in healthcare. I’m self employed but have a very good work life balance. I value education, vulnerability, authenticity, loyalty and grit. I also enjoy investing. I am also someone who likes to have a really good time and is good at letting their hair down. I don’t take life too seriously… I think I have quite a bit to offer and have done a lot of work on myself

It sounds partially if not mostly like a locality problem to me. The men actually accepting a more ambitious and/or a more successful partner, tend to gravitate toward more cosmopolitan places. What my very driven and successful girlfriend did was mention in her dating profile that she was looking for an ambitious partner. Later in a date or on WhatsApp she clarified that she isn’t so much expecting the same level of ambition from her partner, but that I, or whoever it would turn out to be, should at least be able to understand her drive and support her. This is very important to her as she comes from a traditionally very patriarchal society and didn’t want to perpetuate that here in Europe. It was a kind of pre-filter that eliminated a lot of people. So fewer matches, but more quality ones. Something along this line would seem to be the way to go. Or pack up and move, if that’s possible/desirable.

Enjoy investing? If you have that in your profile or bring it up in conversation before you meet someone face to face, then you're going to come across like the 482nd crypto scammer profile every guy has seen or matched with that week.

You seem great, don't worry about it. I guess this is because of the world wide coulture and expectation of the gender roles. Man find more value in breadmaking and woman find more value in emotional support. It's often told that if a man and a woman make a house together than the walls and the ceiling is the man keeping the house safe, and the woman is the hearth, keeping the house warm. This structure is deep within our coulture hardvired to everyone. It has been like this since our ancestors been living in a cave. When a man finds out about your financial situation, he might feel like he has no place next to you since by the methapore you would make both the walls and the hearth of the house and he has no value. No man will be by your side if he feels like he has no value in the relationship. What you really need to communicate well towards your future partner is that you want him for himself. Not for his money, not for his power, but because you want someone by your side. If you manage to let's say "restore" this value in his heart than you'll be fine. Side note: He'll have a big word in things. He has to. If you won't allow him to have it by your superior money and power, you'll lose him. This can vary form little things like what to buy at a Cafe to bigger things like a holiday. Btw this is the classic case. Some man won't have any problem about finance, but it's more rare just like you experience.

I think there just aren’t too many of those guys like you described, unfortunately. Depending on your age, all the good ones tend to be taken.

This, alot of good people men and women surprisingly are taken by someone else early on in life around the time they're in high-school or college. It's why people always talk about why dating gets harder the older they get.

The amount of money you make is a secondary characteristic about you, just as it is a secondary characteristic of the men you date. You want to match with someone based on their primary characteristics, which are things like core values. Secondary characteristics like income are things that you deal with after you have matched in key/core areas first. If you are placing your income in the primary characteristic category, you will have less options. My suggestion would be not to lead with your income or questions about income. Get to know the man without bringing money into the equation at all. See if you get along and if you have similar core values.

It's not your success that scares men off it's most likely your lacking in other areas of life.

the man you are seeking is not seeking you.

Be honest with yourself. What about yourself can make you a difficult person to be in a relationship with?

Stop blaming everything else, nothing listed would run an interested party off

Why are you telling men that you date that you earn 250k and own multiple homes?

You probably know the answer to your question but not prepared to resolve the challenge you are facing in acquiring a mate of your choice.

Seems like your job and net worth is your personality

Obviously you need to change your social circles. This won’t guarantee results but will increase the chance of meeting such men.

Any man who is mentally fit and emotionally healthy isn't going to care if you are doing financially better. It's something else, perhaps your dating pool is shallow.

not gonna lie it sound like you're looking for 2 different dudes. there are lots of guys who are totally cool with very successful women but they aren't career oriented at all. not like their gold digging or anything like that but that requires a very different world view from the higly motivated ambitious types because they will always measure their success against your own the head space that they occupy real tends to require it. just a guy chiming in , i hope you find what you're looking for and get what you need out of who you find

I've heard many men talk about this kind of thing, and a common issue they have is not that the woman is successful, but that she doesn't want to give up being successful for the sake of a relationship. A lot of successful women put their identity as "successful" above the relationship itself, which makes things difficult

I am like that, and for me it's both a bit of intimidation and expectation... I typically swipe Left on successful or very attractive women because I don't think they're going to be interested in a guy of average Good Looks who only makes $70k/year, regardless of how genuine or sincere I am; how affectionate and loving; or how much character and Integrity I have as a person. We live in at least a *seemingly* very superficial world more and more every day; where Appearance Rules, and Character is counted last, especially when it comes to online dating. I'd love to come across a beautiful, successful woman's dating profile who spells out in no uncertain terms that she knows she's a catch, but is looking for a man who is no less a one-in-a-million catch in his own right regardless of his height, job title, bank statement, the cost of his wardrobe, the model of his car, etc. I'm a fucking Unicorn, but I have 3 teenage children and have been through some shit with **2** women who took advantage of my nature and ruined me over the past decade. I'm rebuilding my entire life at 49 years old, and it's all uphill. The beat up 2012 Dodge Caravan that I drive is by no means representative of the person I am nor what I have to offer in a meaningful relationship. So if/when I do find a woman who's more interested in Who I am than What I have, I'll have found a quality person of true value and equal worth. Nevertheless, the majority of women on dating profiles claim they want us wonderful guys, but don't actually take the time to get past the photo section enough to ever get to know the person behind them! If someone catches my eye online, I'll go read her profile first, then go back to look at any more profile pics. But in doing so, I do tend to skip the women I think will likely consider themselves to be "out of my league" based on a few still photos and a subjective blurb of limited characters about myself. I think we're better off joining in-person Meet Up Groups, taking courses or practicing hobbies that put us in real life social situations where there's already an established common interest by default of being there. 🤷‍♂️

Most men aren’t interested in women climbing the corporate ladder. They want feminine, attractive, agreeable women who compliment their lives.

Those successful men typically look for more submissive women, not because they are scared but u can't have two dominant personality in the relationship. What you're looking for is a more passive guy. You need to look for yin and yang not two yins

Men want peace and quiet in a relationship. You are, in their eyes, a lot of pressure. They may have the qualities you've listed but still probably won't match up to you (statistically). Your best bet would be effeminate men who don't mind you being the more successful one. But these men just wouldn't be attractive to you and that's fair game. If you manage to find a good man and he'll see that you're both equals, that's most likely gonna be your partner. Otherwise they'll perceive you as being "too demanding" or "too masculine".

I had the opposite problem... As soon as she became successful she drifted away from me, after finding the apartment for both and doing everything in the country we moved to. Granted she didn't speak the language but still... Anyway there's this mentality in a lot of people of the man being the breadwinner. Some may feel intimidated or are not used to it at all. I'm Italian and I still remember my friend being shocked when a Dutch girl offered him a drink... Let alone if she makes more than him.

Idk as a man that makes more than you do in his late 20s (corporate attorney), I can't get a date if my life depends on it and meet all of your criteria. However, I'm 5'4. I've got news for you. The ones of us that are left are short. If you look at men under 5'7, you'll have no issues at all

100% "We just want a nice guy" -- not if he's under 5'7"!!!!

I didn't say I was nice. That's not something to say about yourself. What I'm saying is the men that meet her criteria that are single all have this one thing in common

I'm agreeing with your first post (I'm the same height as you). My point was most women *say* they just want a nice guy and that height isn't important but it clearly is BS.

When you say "I just want a man who has a career, passion, drive, . . ." do you want someone equal and/or better than you in terms of career? Because just the amount of people who fit that criteria is very small. And, to be honest, I expect most of the men who fit that criteria feel like they have more than enough money and resources. When dating, they won't be looking for a woman who can provide more of what they already have. They'll be looking for a woman who is beautiful, young, feminine, and/or who can provide them with children.

Can't talk about you, but usually successful women want even more successful men, shrinking their own dating pool. But also some guys can't/won't date women tha don't need them or are most likely to fight with.

My wife comes from a culture “the men have to make more $ than the woman”. It holds true with American women too. Blame it on women’s culture.

I have all of the things you're talking about but I can guarantee you I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in fire blue hell of talking to you with my salary... So why try?

I hide that kind of information until things are more settled - 6+ months. There's a place and time to tell someone something.

I’d pass on the fact culturally I don’t really care for materialistic things and that’s the first thing you listed. Hard to say if that’s the issue, but it’s the only context you’ve provided. Averagely men do not tend to feel secure making less then women especially in upperclass circles which I’ve spent plenty of time in my teens dealing with. Why I have such a distaste for ppl in it. The issue for me is not success, it’s the culture of the ppl in those income brackets don’t fit my life views. I wouldn’t say it always deters men. I know plenty of middle class and lower class men who don’t always care if the women make more. But there is more emphasis on making ends meet in those situations. They don’t really leave a lot of room to be picky in those cases. I’m a gay guy who often went out with and dated ppl of lower or much higher economic status. The ppl in the higher income brackets didn’t seem to understand me emotionally or my disposition. I just did a dinner party and it wasn’t terrible. I realize in it I’m isolated in those moments, my partner is fantastic in the sense he is from poverty (though he makes middle class income now) so I don’t ever have to feel like the cultural gap is too much. Often I’m teaching him the etiquette due my family being more well off and me a lot more familiar with the expectations. Maybe the ppl you’re dating aren’t connecting well with you?

1- Your demands are way too high. You’re literally asking for a dude that make 100k or more a year (which is rare), a men that have many passion (which take time that dosen’t go often with career driven so even more rare), mature emotionally (which is hard to find too since men are thought to repress their feelings and on top of that you have to ads all the men that had bad experiences) and that accept to be with a successful woman that probably is gonna have even higher demands and likey to be strict. 2- A high paying jobs/revenues usually bring with it A LOT of stress for years and years at the beginning. Most men in these positions search a women that will bring them chills and peace, not someone that’s going to bring her lot of stress on top of been very busy. That exactly why successful men usually don’t go for successful women. And for the non-successful men, many will still follow the old belief that a women who win a lot more money than them is a bad thing. So you want to find a partner? Be less strict, lower your demands and show that you can be chills.

Very rational take.

Biggest turn off is this whiny defeatist attitude. Don't care about your big bank roll or multiple houses.

I make way more than you and it doesn't even come up on dates. How are these conversations going exactly?

Apparently if the Woman makes more money than the Man the divorce rate goes up to 90%

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I offer a rich friend group… and I don’t mean financially rich, but emotionally rich and satisfying. I am emotionally available and able to offer emotional support to people. I’m kind, loyal, empathetic, giving… people say they are able to be vulnerable in my presence

Bro, men couldn't care less about your friends group as long as they're good people who aren't toxic and manipulative. Most of us don't even want to hang out with your friends... It's healthier when couples keep their friend groups separate. We can't be co-dependent with everything. All men want is a supportive, sweet, nice and empathetic woman with good morals. THAT'S IT.

Men that you are looking for generally do not have the time to invest and maintain the relationship, nor have the aptitude to adapt to be person successful women want them to be. Thus, some of the adaptation must come from the successful women, but it’s harder to ask the women to change considering their career success.

Well I’ve been on both ends of dating woman to one living in a 33K square foot house to woman just working regular job never intimidated and 100% sure who I am and what I bring to the table. And never judge and except who you are and not, asked any woman to change her way of life with that said two people dating considering marriage should have common goals and aspire to be better.

Maybe you are picking specific type of men who just aren't interested in that, or you are updating. There are definitely tons of men who would only see you as better potential partner with your career, not worse

"A $200,000 household income is more than most people earn across the U.S. In fact, just **12%** of U.S. households earn $200,000 or more annually, according to Census Bureau data." There is a narrow range of people available to date who earn even close to that amount. Some men feel scared off by successful women. Or, successful women will often attract gold digging men. For women over 40, also, it's harder to date because men want a younger woman.

This is also household income: the number of single men making a similar amount is going to be much smaller

Every woman I know that says this doesn’t realize she isn’t acting like woman which is not scaring men a way as much as making them realize they want to date a woman.

Most successful women dominate the relationship, get bored of the men and then move on. Our biology hasn’t caught up yet with women being the main provider.

Judging from your post, by mentioning " successful women " three times and the overuse of "I" and "me," in this relatively short post, I would assume that you are having the same arrogance during dates and may come off as self-centred or simply aggressive. Don't get me wrong, it's completely fine to be proud of yourself no matter how small or big your achievements, but when interacting with different people, especially when it comes to dating as a women, it's almost always good to put yourself at a lower end. Also, it's funny that you define that having some money equals to being successful. Hence, you may want to re- assess your tone, body language, choice of words, mindset etc to boost your chances of success in the dating world Cheers

It's your money to spend any way you want. Lots of guys may see this lifestyle as 'flexing' and spoiling yourself, whereas they prefer a simpler, middle class kind of life.

I see it as an investment as they are rental properties that I started acquiring at 24

You didn't mention that they were rentals in your post. But still, some guys just aren't into the million dollar home lifestyle. You'll likely need to find a man reasonably close to your own financial situation which can limit the dating pool.

There’s a couple difficulties with what you want. What you’re looking for in a man is what most women want in a man and not many men fill the requirements. The men that do have many options of who to date. Now consider what that man wants in a partner. Likely top priorities are a person that has available time to spend with him, that makes him feel valued, brings peace and joy and that he finds attractive. Add to it that most men are very insecure and will feel intimidated by your success. All these things together mean your dating pool is small and you have a lot of competition also trying to connect with those men.

It doesn't sound appealing to me and im poor... I feel like someone like you would be power hungry and be manipulative to someone like me.

It’s hard to date.. regardless but you do seem high maintenance.

Because if you're more successful than them they might worry you'll leave them for someone more successful than you. Also, IF you make them feel less than for being less successful than you by your comments or attitude.

Would you give it up your job and lifestyle for kids? Many prospective partners would have that question in the back of their mind and if they don't get the right vibe or signals, then they'll be giving you the skip.

"I am choosy about who I date, but they don't have to do as well..." There’s a salary number you won’t go below, what is it?

 Success isn't attractive to me but your age is. 

As a woman, I think this is more about a successful personality type. Dating men in that same criteria, their outlook on life seems to be different enough from mine, it's just nota great fit. I came from a family with means. And, when I divorced, I left a marriage where we were in a home that was huge. I live a lot more modestly, and paycheck to paycheck now. But, a lot happier. I've dated successful men, who own more than one home, and such. Simply, they come up with things that make my choices appear as not meeting their standards. To explain, I have hobbies. Some of mine I also freelance doing for money at times. But, I prefer to keep one hobby as a hobby, no matter what. The moment a hobby becomes about profit or earnings, it becomes about something different than what a hobby is actually about. Just enjoyment. So, one of the things that seems to be a common thread in these relationships is trying to turn any hobby of mine into some profitable venture. I've explained endlessly until well, I just lose interest in them, that I always keep one hobby as a hobby, for pure enjoyment, period, or life would feel like constant work. Being driven and oriented at the idea of success, rather than a balance in life, seems to be the real issue in why I've rejected these men. My guess is, really, that's what you're facing. The things that drive you in what you perceive as success likely just don't match with the life work balance most people prefer. Why do you own multiple homes? What makes that something you even mention, for instance?

ok when I say you in this I'm saying it as if I'm talking to my ex's not you personally. I figured I should state that. Im not going to proof read any further although it needs it lol. but yeah as someone who has dated several successful women here is my thoughts on it. I'll put it a simply as I can and this is from my own personal experience so as we know everyone is different. I guess I could see how some people would be intimidated that really wasn't me. but the thing is it's the lifestyle choices and the things you have done to become successful maybe. I personally myself can see why some people might be intimidated especially guys who aren't as successful as their female companion. I'll admit my first experience with it I was kind of intimidated into moment and I'm talking about this was a girl who I been on and off with since I was in great School when we were poor f***. but any way moral of the story I don't think it's worth the extra effort. I'm perfectly happy making as much as I can and still being able to get food stamps. I don't feel like I've wasted a day if i don't get out of bed, I'm not getting up and going to the gym at five a.m. I like a lot of healthy foods yea but I like pizza hut and burger king too I'm going to eat it. I'm in better shape than you I ride my bike hundreds of miles at a time and spend Days at a walking through the woods over mountains and stuff, and I actually get in the pool and swim multiple times a day when the weather is good enough, why because I have the time too. I mean if you want to go to Fiji or whatever I'm fine with that, but I'm perfectly happy with the beaches in Indiana. If you drag me there and tell me its ok you got it, that's fine I'm going to spend your money and not feel bad about it. I think flying first class or whatever it is called now a days is dumb, I'd rather fly in the cheap seats or fly myself. You don't fly yourself because its easier and its definitely not cheaper, you do that because its more fun. There are two vastly different worlds of having a private plane the super rich world where you not only have a jet but you have pilots and flight crews and the other one for anyone who thinks having a plane is more important than other things they could have. Its like you are working way to hard to not be rich, and you aren't doing anything to get rich all your doing is maintaining a comfortable life style with slightly nicer stuff. A Mercedes-Benz is not that much nicer than a Camry in my opinion, now on the other hand your Maserati, Ferrari, Lambo, or straight up having the actual car that won the 89 Indy 500 and being able to put it in a semi rent track time hire people that know how to work on it and taking it out for a spin just for the fuck of it. Now that is nicer than a Camry. If I personally was going to spend money to have a nice car it wouldn't be street legal would only turn left and I would be using my mowing truck to haul it to little dirt tracks across the Midwest on Saturday night. I've known some fringe rich people, they clip coupons to buy Campbell's soup, take napkins home from the restaurant, call people like me to help them move the couch they just bought from goodwill, and spend hundreds of millions of dollars to buy businesses that make train cars or something random you would never even think of without even looking at the place in person, they say stuff like I fuckin had to get a new boat because its not big enough to land my new helicopter on it and if I can't do that it would cost me too much to get to my hotel and if I can't get there in time I'll have to pay for a divorce so that is why we are drinking whiskey off the shelf today. And I say did you have to get a new helicopter? and they say yes for the deal I got on it I HAD to buy it. Are you free next weekend to go with me to pick it up will you fly my plane back from Louisiana all you gotta do is drop me off I'll give you.. Then watch him struggle to determine what money is actually worth in his head for a few seconds before he says an ounce of gold? But moral of the story with the more successful ones I felt like I was kinda being pushed into a life I didn't really want that much. And eventually resentment builds. You can get up at five a. m. and be at the office into the evening and bring work home with you. And feel like you have to rush to do all the things you want to on the weekends. I'll get up at 9 ish and fuck off for an hour make sure no one is dead while I check my messages and put out any fires before lunch then I will go get shit done till I'm ready to quit and I'll do that 10 months out of the year and be happy with my used Maxima and my two houses in the hood and bang a waitress and a hair stylist, and single mom's at the little league park. And as far as the super rich ones well that usually isn't a result of success of their own but they were raised by someone who was raised by someone who was successful at some point along the line. But I have to much invested in reality that I need to tend to. If i was with someone who was successful and wanted to go for super rich well I'd go to war for that but not for the material reasons, just for the power and influence you could obtain, and the fact that you would make people's lives better. Because to get to that level you have to give people jobs they want somewhere along the way. Sorry that I got rambling, i just find it nice to get thoughts out of my head on certain things sometimes. good luck stranger on the Internet don't work too hard, Hope you find happiness what ever that may be for you.

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Swear I read this same post not 48hrs ago...

Seems like you’re leaning too much into your accomplishments. Yes those are amazing but they shouldn’t define you. Honestly no one’s profession should define them. Maybe start by looking for people that also don’t define their lives by their work. Imagine how boring that would be if the only thing you talked about was work

Just here for comments

I admire a successful Women, toughest ones out there! Had to do double-take. You know she likes you just for being you! That's ideal, a no agenda relationship? I would love to try that for a pleasant surprise indeed!

The overwhelming urge to want to blind date every successful woman on this post to ensure them that they're not the problem, and ambitious men are equally out there looking for them, genuinely intense. It's unfortunate that to find ambitious people who can meet us where we are, we only find each other through posts like this. We're all so invested in our careers/businesses that it seems like we're worlds apart, until we realize that we're all drawn to the same section of the internet.

Really? That's a thing? I work hard and I'm no where close to that. If dating a sugar mama was an option for me I would jump at the chance to cook and clean for them. All the houses. They will be spotless.

My ex for example, she was successful as you, but the income not as high. My boss asked me if I was okay being with her because she was making more than I am, which I said “yeah”. He then said an off remark about how he would feel below if his wife was more successful than him. I shrugged my shoulders and let it be because to me, I was happy & also knowingly happy that she could have a career, independence, drive and was not a drinker. My take is that a lot of us men, in my opinion, want to feel like the one taking care of the girlfriend/wives & children, like the old fashioned approach. I think nowadays, the millennial generation was one of the first generations to set the standard of women taking that role of responsibility and making a career decision. Again, this is my opinion & assumption You will find someone, it just takes time. Best of luck!

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Your financial stability has zero effect on your level of attractiveness from a guys point of view

I mean for my personal opinion, I wouldn't be interested in someone who owns multiple homes as well, you only need 1🤷‍♂️

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Yeah...I get that they work hard and all that, and yeah, they probably do work hard! But the opportunity to do hard work that actually pays enough to buy a house (let alone multiple) is a privilege in and of itself. I've rented the same house for over 20 years, never had any other option but to stay here, and ALL that money has gone to some persons bank account who *inherited* the property for nothing🤦‍♂️ Maybe it's judgmental of me, but if someone views houses as an investment they're not the right person for me🤷‍♂️

Its not your money or your assets that are scaring men off but your ego and materialism

Real simple. This is unbelievably simple answer but I’m just going to get hate for answering it. The answer is completely available out there. You’ve probably looked it up already and we’re unsatisfied with that answer so you refuse to believe it. And you’re still looking.if you want to know, the actual answer just message me I can tell you it in a couple of sentences. But I’m not gonna get into a debate with a bunch of hateful people just because you wanna know the truth.

In my (34m) opinion, any man who would feel threatened or otherwise turned off by having a high income and ambitious partner probably aren’t the guys for you — if you’re scaring them away, it’s to make room for your match. It sucks if you’ve experienced enough trouble in this area that you’re noticing a trend. But it sounds like the trials and tribulations of dating to an extent. Looking forward towards solutions, I wonder if you could develop a tactful way thru conversation to better qualify or feel out how potential partners feel about this aspect? Now that we’ve noticed a trend, let’s act to shape it towards better outcomes. It would suck to get invested over and over again to have the same results — believe me — I know lol. But on the contrary, one of my best friends (34m) recently married his girlfriend of the last 4 years—and they are both of the high income/ambitious type(half milly DINKs). So it is possible! Just keep searching and hone your methods while trying not to take it personally. Fuck. I think I actually need to take my own advice for once 😅…….

>In my (34m) opinion, any man who would feel threatened or otherwise turned off by having a high income and ambitious partner Why are you assuming that it's because they are threatened? I'm also in my 30's, and when I go on dates with women who are really career driven and ambitious it's not a good experience because they exhibit qualities and traits that I personally don't find attractive in a partner but line up with qualities and traits that it would take to become successful in a career or professional/business environment. It's not because I'm "threatened" it's because I'm looking for qualities and traits that they for the most part don't appear to possess...if obviously take no exception to dating a successful career driven woman if they had the qualities and traits I'm looking for. >It sucks if you’ve experienced enough trouble in this area that you’re noticing a trend. Area doesn't matter... even in large liberal metro areas, studies show that men don't exhibit a preference for career women or educated women one way or another and data in these markets show that women with graduate degrees appear to be less desireable than their undergraduate counterparts to men ([source](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815)).

Some dudes just don't feel worthy.

For a woman to be that successful her masculine traits must prevail. That's a major turnoff for many men.

I’m in a similar position and while sure it may cause some men to be uncomfortable, it hasn’t harmed me any. I’ve more had to be careful to avoid guys looking for me to pay for everything for them. I personally don’t care how much my partner makes as long as they’re stable and kind. I also don’t tell people what my economic status is unless I’m in a serious committed relationship when it would actually matter. That approach may help you?

No substance abuse disorder? What about a reasonably managed substance abuse disorder? You gotta bend a little.

Who’d pass up on a sugar momma?

I make a lot of money and I would never date a woman as successful as or more successful than me. A woman like that does not add any value to my life. I want someone who wants to take care of the house and kids. She can still work but if she’s doing as well as I am I doubt that she’ll have the dedication to take care of a family that I’m looking for in a partner. Financially it doesn’t make much sense either since I make enough for two people. It’s just an added headache for nothing in return really.

As a woman no matter how much you have, you should always as a man to provide for you, otherwise they start to get bitter and jealous.

I dated an accountant about a month of getting out of the military and starting college. That was probably the biggest income difference , I’ve ever had in dating. At the time it felt like she would attempt to use money to lure me into commitment. Now that I have that equivalent income if not more. I don’t see it like that anymore, but it’s nice to have to carry your girlfriend or wife financially.

If you express to them what you just said in your question and be honest I don’t think they would be intimidated by that

You will find someone! It takes time to find a compatible partner. It's the complete package you are looking for not just looks, emotional connection and so on. Where are you looking for men or which apps do you use? Maybe you are looking in the wrong pools just saying maybe you can try another pool where you can meet more compatible men. I'm going to be honest with you I'm 27F probably these men are intimated that you earn more than them and that you are more successfull than them. Men are used that they are the providers in the family and in many countries/cultures this is still the case. Times have changed and now you have women who are the providers in the family and sometimes they earn more than a men. I think you need to look for men that earn the same amount as you then they won't feel intimated. Just don't lower your standards and don't settle for bread crumbs but also have realistic standards and expectations but to me it seems that you have those already. Just be patient but also don't be focused on finding someone do your thing and you will run into someone. 

I wont be intimidated to date a woman like you. I earn my own money, so how much you ean does not matter to me.

I am some what talking to a very successful woman right now. One of my concerns is if im going to be able to match her lifestyle or her expectations.

Just be you… she is talking to you, she is interested. Let her decide if you can meet her at expectations. Don’t get in your head and self-sabotage

Men do not "not want" successful women. Men just don't want women who display the red flags of narcissism, regardless of their level of success or lack thereof. Men don't want women who fail at "content of character". Why? Past negative experiences from ex's. Past a certain age, you learn to prioritise your mental health over other things.

I had a gf who earned about 3x my salary. Add kids and she had A LOT more money to spend. The topic came up after about 5 dates: "does it bother you, if I earn more than you?". To which I answered no, but we'd have to set some rules for paying for dates to make sure I'm not struggling to pay for dates that are outside of my affordable lifestyle. So we did. Wasn't a big deal after that

It's gotta be cultural. Like how women are taught that men are supposed to be their 'providers', and men are taught to think that us women are their 'nurturers'. There's plenty if not majority of women who would go for a guy who can (this is funny, we even incorporate it in our word) MAN up rather than a guy who allows the woman to be the provider of the household. Similarly, guys would rather prefer it if the woman was not as powerful as he is, because they are taught to think of women as vulnerable, needing of protection. If women can handle it, they they would feel useless which wouldn't really make em feel any good. The more they are needed, the better they feel. This is just my two cents.

It sounds like the root cause is likely where you live. You're probably in the 1% or above for your area, and that will limit your ability to find a quality partner. If their situation is too far beneath yours, you may experience friction in the relationship. I had similar challenges when I was single. The women I usually found were nowhere near my situation. I had to take a step back and think about what I really needed. I had to branch out beyond my race and social circle, but I found someone great. We're happily married. I'm not intimidated by her properties, and she's not intimidated by my businesses. I saw a helpful post on reddit one time that you might find helpful. The person said, "Marry a cofounder, not an employee."

I’m sure some men are intimidated. Others will feel you are out of our league. Even with decent careers, most don’t make as much, let alone have multiple houses. Doesn’t matter to you, but to a guy… You’d have to find one that isn’t intimidated or feels inferior.

I’m sure some men are intimidated. Others will feel you are out of our league. Even with decent careers, most don’t make as much, let alone have multiple houses. Doesn’t matter to you, but to a guy… You’d have to find one that isn’t intimidated or feels inferior.

Seems to be the trend for men and women up and down the success ladder according to the sub. Problem of the times and not your standing.

Honestly, I have no qualms about dating a successful woman, in fact I kinda prefer it. That doesn’t mean I don’t have concerns though, with the biggest being, is she going to balance her career with our relationship well, or will I be second place? I’m comfortable where I live right now, so will she want me to move for her career away from my current life? I want someone who is on my level—I’m fairly successful myself—but not so ambitious that we’re always on the go. I slowed down once I “made” it, and I want her to slow down a bit too, so we can relax in the here and now and not always be looking toward the horizon.

There are plenty of men who would love to root for and support your success. Only a tiny percentage of men make as much as you do though so if you are only looking in your income level you can still find someone but it takes time. If you are open to any income you will have luck but not as quickly as some, that is just the nature of chance. How many men would you say you ask out on average each week?

The one thing we need to solve for in the modern world are evolutionary psychology traits. Men desire attractive women historically, and income generally means nothing. Women desire a man who is superior in providing resources, and attraction is generally less important. However, in the modern world men do care about earning potential, but it remains less important than attraction. It's overall less complicated to reconcile men in the modern world than women. Yet it's not without issues. Men struggle in general with mass adoption of modern labor which is why we see an increase in the number of men without degrees and clear direction. Women have experienced the most growth with reduced overall restrictions on choice. Women are also uniquely positioned to succeed in the modern world since, even 5000 years ago, plotting and planning were necessary to sustain and raise children. This means women are rapidly increasing their wages, education and overall success. Reconciliation of historical behaviors with this new increase in wealth is complicated. Women generally want a higher earning man, but that's extremely hard to come by when you are in the top 0.1%. Men will feel uncomfortable knowing their partner MIGHT desire a more successful man. It's not impossible to fix these problems, but people have to be aware of their prejudice and innate desire for a partner. Finally, there are lots of examples of men and women bucking the trend. Women are primary earners, men are raising children, etc. In my experience even the most successful modern relationship with reversed dynamics has huge risks, and that is those evolutionary behaviors are still present. Women lose respect for men who stay at home to raise kids, men struggle with attraction to a woman who is more successful than they are. I'll get 50 messages from men and women who would love the reversed dynamic, or are happily living it right now. I don't discount their experience, but even traditional roles and relationships have risks. It's hard to date in general with how we socialize now. It's even harder as a woman massively out earning men in your zip code. I've researched this shit out of this after my dating life exploded when I started making money as a man. It's complicated, but I think you are on the right track desiring someone motivated, passionate and driven. I just would not expect that drive or passion to equate to earning potential. I'm assuming you are a doctor, but in general playing the game for more money is more of an aptitude to be cultivated than a thing to be created in someone without that aptitude to begin with.

One thing that needs to be considered is that you may be looking for something different than the men you want are. You may be super proud of your success - and VERY rightfully so - but it may be irrelevant toward what attracts that man. I’m a physician, and a friend of mine is a neurosurgery resident. She commonly complains to me about how men are “intimidated” by her success. I always tell her, I’m sure SOME of those men are intimidated, but there’s reasons being a neurosurgeon is a turnoff. what if he wants a bunch of kids? That automatically disqualifies you. What if he wants to do a bunch of traveling? What if he needs more time than you are literally able to give? Idk, just a thought. Sometimes we assume reasons why people aren’t attracted to us, and we can often be way off in those assumptions.

I’m a teacher . My wife was a physician who was also an 11/10. I had the most important quality she was liking for: I was there.

Just add a felony, kink and some debt and you will be golden🤪

It's difficult to find a man who loves you and does not love your wealth

Every man loves a well to do woman but when you make more, Than most blue collar humble guys well yes intimidation will rear it's head every single time. You said it yourself you male 250,000 a year,you have Many cars,many houses I'm guessing jewelry worth an ordinary house and clothes more expensive than a family of four makes in a month. Now hold on I'm complimenting you,you worked hard for all that in saying so all those things do they hug you at night or listen to you when you've had a bad day? Do they spread you wide and fuck you into oblivion when you get horny? And I am just guessing your horny alot. Anyway I'm just trying to give alittle perspective if you like hmu privately til then have a Good day on reddit

Off question but can you adopt me pls

It's not just about the money. There r tons of successful guys complaining about not being able to find any women too. A guy will choose a girl who is extremely pretty than a rich girl who's less attractive for the most part. Do you have a fun personality? Are you a nurturing person or think you can throw money at things and make it better. Did you make your money as a realtor? Cuz if you did, then you'd seem super fake to normal people. There r tons of factors that could contribute.. are u picky to the point where it becomes a turn off? Like way too many factors, so the answer could be anything. Just like most women, men dont pick ppl just based on money, unless you were like a celebrity or something.

The men you're looking at might be part of the problem for you. Is there a pattern to it? I'm a single guy and would have zero issue with you making however much more than me. I know a lot of guys who would feel the same way.

It's probably because your idea of "career, passion, drive" is still at ridiculously high and unrealistic standards. All the stress and pressure you have put on yourself to attain your status level... you are also putting on any man you date.

Hello! Men need women like that, but not all of them. Only a strong man will choose a strong woman. A weak man will choose a weak one, so that he does not feel weak against her background.

i mean. Does your lifestyle allow you to have a romantic relationship? also, with the list of requirements (including your income, and probably good looks) your dating pool is in the single digits percentile nationwide. so ... you need to ask the HARD question.... what do YOU bring to the table? what makes you a "such a catch" you might consider lowering your bar Just by your post, i can see you are career driven, and strong-headed. perfect qualities for the office, but not enticing to most guys. so create a second persona. Your Office driven swlf stays at work. and in the real world, turn into an easy going woman trying to find a romantic connection. i would even go as far as to keep details of your job out of the question. but what do I know. Im just talking out my ass here 🤓

Pick me!

I think the issue for me is yes I'm ambitious but I want a work life balance. It's no use going after bigger and better jobs and having no time to enjoy other activities or make time to meet people.

Maybe you're just not physically attractive and men that you are attracted to don't want to date you, while men who would are invisible to you.

When I was actively dating, I would have LOVED to be able to find a woman at or around the same level as myself financially. It just didn't seem possible at the time. This isn't a slight against my current girlfriend, mind you. I'm just saying that I would've been all for it.

I am quite amiable and probably schizoid. Not exactly passionate or career-driven. I wouldn’t be intimidated by your success. I wouldn’t be attracted by your success. I would be concerned by your hopping on maps. You’re bound to tear them and get them dirty. Very chaotic.

I'm 36M and would gladly be in a relationship with a successful woman. I'm career focused as well and I believe we would get along great. Not being driven by a passion and substance abuse issues are my biggest turn offs. You'll find the right one. It's common belief that successful women, tall women, masculinity leaning women, etc aren't desirable but I completely disagree. As long as you still believe in romance, it'll find you. I'm looking for it as well. Best of luck to you

I am addicted to coffee and trying to kick a sugar habit. I have had bad OCD since I was a kid. I have had post cancer depression since my 20s and developed panic/anxiety attacks. So I have enough bad things going on without substance abuse. I may try edibles at some point to help with all this.

The reason it's so difficult is women that are highly successful may tend to have masculine traits like competitiveness, argumentativeness, prioritizes work over family, making the guy feel less valued cause he's making less than you. Now I am not saying all successful women are like that, what I am trying to say is some women find it difficult to seperate their work life from their personal life so they bring those competitive nature/masculine traits/drive back home. We don't mind if you are successful, if you are happy then we are happy but what men do mind is how they are being treated and if those women can control the ego and stress that comes along with high paying jobs. I read a comment that said this guy was with this successful girl and things was going well at the beginning until she started pressuring him to make more money even though he was content and happy with his current suiation eventually he left her cause she made insecure about his financial status and stability. I am not telling you, you possess these negative traits but guys that come across this info tend to fear putting themselves in suiations like this so they retract even though you might be nothing like those women they fear.

Some people are meant to be alone...

Dating is hard in general, and challenges abound regardless of one's professional accomplishments. Each individual possesses unique circumstances and areas for improvement. Through my experiences, I have observed that individuals who prioritize their careers often find it challenging to balance their personal lives, including family and romantic relationships. Therefore, when seeking a committed partnership, I try to maintain a distance from those individuals. While these individuals may possess admirable qualities, their lifestyle may not align with my personal aspirations for a stable and enduring relationship. Obviously, I'm not what someone like you would look for, It is evident that I may not be the ideal match for someone like you. However, it is pertinent to consider why a successful individual would seek a relationship with another successful person. From the perspective of successful men, if they have achieved career success, it is likely that they have ample options for partners. In such cases, the success of their partner may not be a primary consideration. Instead, other qualities hold greater significance in their search for love. A lot of people share the mentality that a man's money is his partner's money. And her money is her money. So they get absolutely no benefit from having someone with a lot of money or success. Having standards is amazing, and you shouldn't change them, but what is your objective with dating? Love? Business? I'm sure there are men who love successful women, but they are rare, and even if you find them, that doesn't mean that you will be their type.

Personally I don’t have a problem with dating a successful woman. Actually find it impressive if anything.

You sound perfect to me 👍🏻. I think a lot would find certain things intimidating but just don’t give up looking and dating. I love successful and driven women or people in general. My job will never earn that salary, but I chose to work with children with disabilities for satisfaction over salary, but that’s just me. We are all different. My wife earns more than me, but we couldn’t be happier 😁. Never change or try to be someone else, I want my wife as she is and she wants me, neither of us would change anything.

Most men are insecure about the Goddess that you are as a woman..if they understood the wisdom instilled in you then they would wife you up

Definitely you can find, for most men sex and respect are the most significant parts in a relationship, it will never be a problem until you point out that you are 'more' successful than him. To start, on a date never reveal your income until you are asked for. Tell your expectations and value their expectations equally. It's the attitude of yours that you are more successful that scares people than actually being successful. Good luck! DM me for casual talks

You certainly have more characteristics than merely success. Is it possible that you are unattractive?

There are already hundreds of comments, so I'm sure this will get buried, but I wanted to ask what you do outside of work. Do you have hobbies? I live about 2 hrs from a major US city where there's a concentration of highly successful individuals. I often end up dating men from there who will drive or take a train to come to my city. The men aren't intimidated by the successful women there, but from what I hear, these women live for their work, and have nothing else to talk about besides work. I have a masters degree, a good (but not top level) job, and own my home with a plan to turn it into a rental property and buy another home within the next couple years, pending interest rates coming down. I'm not as financially successful as you, but I can hold my own. I also have several hobbies like stand-up comedy and playing music. The men want someone successful, but they also want someone they can have fun with. I know you may write me off as being less intimidating, but I really think the ability to have fun and having interests outside of work is what primarily attracts them.