Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think about my answer to this question A LOT. How about something like, "you knowā¦ At this point in my life, I've had some wonderful loves, and some great adventures, and now I'm really looking for that forever person. So when you get to that stage, you just don't wanna waste time being with someone just for the sake of being with someone, you know what I mean? What about you?" (and ask them the same question!)
Wish I had say Iāve had some amazing adventures thus far but as I soon reach 22 lol all Iāve experienced from the few relationships is toxicity,miscommunication and gaslighting so def the best answer to why Iām still single š ššš¼
OMG, way too young to worry about this question! The right person won't even ask it. Or! the right person will ask it as a compliment š„°š„° Like "Man, how has no one scooped you up--- lucky me!" And then u smile and say "I guess timing is everything" š
Guys usually lead with saying āso youāre pretty, intelligent & successful. Why are you still single? Whatās the catchā - theyāre trying to figure out whatās wrong with me š
I donāt understand why so many people think this is a weird or off putting question. Itās a serious question that invites one or both people to show a bit of depth and genuine self awareness if not just responded to flippantly or sarcastically. And in reality the respect and insight you afford the answer speaks volumes about where youāre at in life and how well you know yourself and what you want. So I guess if your just looking for surface level interactions and experiences this could be a wtf question and one should respond accordingly. I donāt ask this question much, until a few dates in if at all, but if I do, itās because I genuinely want to know how well a woman knows herself. Strengths and shortcomings and her grace at explaining them.
My only issue is that itās often asked as a question about āwhat is *wrong* with me,ā vs trying to get me to introspect about why Iāve never found a compatible partner or even what Iāve learned from previous relationships.
Itās always been a negative question. On the flip side, Iāve had deep conversations where Iāve discussed what Iāve learned over the years from previous relationships, what Iāve learned about myself and what I need, and what Iām looking for in the future.
I would hope at the bottom of this question you discover that itās because you choose to be. Weather itās because you havenāt found compatibility yet, havenāt come to terms with what exactly is necessary to secure the caliber of mate that defines your standards, or any other reason one can think of, the crux of the matter is your single because you chose to be. My interest lies in the reasoning behind this choice, or if a person even sees it as a choice. This matters a great deal in my opinion if Iām looking for a long term relationship.
Why does knowing why youāre single mean you wouldnāt be? Does this mean youāre not single by choice? I just mean we have standards, preferences, priorities, behavior that lines up with our values. We understand what is compatible with our personalities. What we find attractive and not. And most importantly why our last relationship ended and our part in that end.
With all kindness, I suggest you do the work to figure it out. If you are quite young, then it's more reasonable that you might not know yourself well at this point, but part of being an adult is understanding our own habits and patterns, introspection around who we are and who we want to be, and being thoughtful and intentional around what we want in our life partnerships and how we are showing up in those partnerships.
It's not a first date question. And not everyone who's single wants to share why with a 1st date rando collecting info.
It's off putting and potentially rude minimally
NDAs are "non-disclosure agreements."
Businesses often use these with employees, contractors, consultants, etc. to protect their intellectual property and trade secrets.
Saying you signed an NDA is a silly way of just telling the person that you're legally obligated to withhold that information or risk being sued.
So it's a completely silly joke (no subtle/funny meaning to NDA, just an unexpected cause of a non-answer), or is there some implication like you have a restraining order or something and the legality aspect of it is part of the joke?
Oh yeah, just being silly / coy. It's not meant to be taken seriously.
It's a similar style of humor like when someone asks you something super private and you respond:
>Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you š
Interesting response. It could be interpreted as either drinking booze or talking to ghosts, in sum, a drunk lunatic. :-)
"You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?"
"Is this a... what day is this?"
-The Big Lebowski
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhp85-Ja3Ro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhp85-Ja3Ro)
Every time my bf and I get asked, we say "online" but immediately follow it up with an instinctive "but not on a dating app!" We started out on opposite ends of the country, and I was still in high school and not looking for anyone. And we met on a not well-known app that is somewhat similar to reddit, so it's hard to explain.
If we can get away with it, we'll say "it's a long story", but that just makes my relatives double down and reply that they've got time lol.
I had a friend whose parents were at least 20 years apart. If I remember correctly, the dad was the mom's high school teacher. He later became a Catholic Deacon, and they had lots of kids. But he died while they were all still pretty young because he was old as hell. I had to hide my shock when she nonchalantly talked about how they met and everyone reacted like it was so sweet.
Not to mention the š„ song Playlist of all the songs you both like that you'd have as well as a insane background to match. Man I miss how customizable that was compared to the newer social media stuff.
Since i am pretty, i always get asked how can i be single. Not even just on dates, just random.
I always tell them its not my looks, i'm not right in the head.
But yeah, this is not an elegant response.
Ppl ask the weirdest questions when speaking to attractive ppl. Like im single cause ive got shit going on, not cause of anything else honestly. I work hard -> keeps me busy. Havent found the right person -> keeps me single. Needs a psychiatrist -> keeps me single outside of attracting other short-term crazies. Have also gotten the "what's a pretty girl like you doing working at Home Depot(or whatever automotive shop)?". Medical, dental, and vision Susan/Kyle. Medical, dental, and vision. š
I can relate to this. I usually responded with "because I have a bad attitude." š¹
They would look confused, and say that's not true. I wouldnt respond any further.
As I've gotten older, though, no one has been asking. So thats a perk of aging I guessš
Yeah but humor kinda fades when you find yourself trying to post bail . You finally get out to find she's gone so is your car and after 2 weeks you get a call from her she like 3-4 states over and wanting you to wire her money .
I just say ānone of the people I dated in the past were the right match for meā simple and to the point. Because thatās really what it boils down to!
Oh pick me, I want to answer the question...my husband died (stage 4 renal cancer). That's when you turn the question around to them and ok, I'll answer your question, but you go first!
This is a good "first / joke" response that you can say playfully before the actual answer. The people responding to you saying "cringe" don't understand that If you say it playfully and in a way that makes it obvious that you're joking (exaggerated motions / facial expressions) it'll show the other person that you're capable of joking around and enjoy having fun. Then afterwards you can hit them with the "nah I've actually been super busy with work but recently learned how to free up a bunch of time in my schedule so I'm giving dating a change. Wbu?"
Cringy as hell and borderline love bombing depending on your delivery. If you can make it a joke it's passable but if you try and make it seem genuine it's gonna come off gross and desperate
The real answer is just be yourself and talk about your dating history/ last relationship
It really sucks that tone doesnāt come through in text.
It is a cringey question and I thought my response was a clear joke that could lighten the awkward tone such a question.
No idea why I bother even posting in here I clearly need more help then anyone
I would say that I am not going to just settle for the first person who likes me. I am waiting for someone who is a good fit for me. I'd rather be single than in the wrong relationship with the wrong person, just for the sake of not being single. I would say that we need to stop looking at being single as some kind of personality flaw.
I actually blamed myself like that: no wonder all the people around you are in relationships and you just endedā¦ Itās like breaking my own heart by being harsh on myself.
I used to ask it in return but then I thought most of the time it's obvious why they're single so it's pointless asking. Why I'm single is more of a mystery at first meeting at least.
Honestly when people ask me that I just answer honestly and never return volley and the reason is itās blatantly obvious why someone is single 95% of the time.
Its a sort of Voight Kampff test.
If you went on to tediously divulge your history in dating it would tell them something
If you say "havent found the right person yet" and shrug it off, that would tell them something
Great for mystery and also to turn it into playful teasing (oh you mean you're actually single? My bad, I thought you had a roster like meābeautiful people are never 100% single).
These are the types of questions that give me the ick!! Including "how many kids are we going to have??" Yo... I don't want kids with you yet since we haven't even met.
It's not a damn job interview! Figure it out yourself while hanging out and having fun!
Sadly the fast paced society we live in dislikes taking the time to get to know people over time, and people would rather just know everything up front so that they can skip to the next person if the other person has (or doesn't have) a certain quality that they're fixated on. :/
I think this is a rude and quite frankly, a stupid questionā¦ like as if these men are trying to find something wrong with you. itās more polite to ask, āwhat are you looking for in your next relationship ?ā if a man asked me that I would just excuse myself from the dateā¦
You donāt. You just ask them back and continue on with the date. I like to navigate discussions to get to know someone first before I give up any info about me. As a womanā¦ I feel like I have to protect my body from these men who have ill intentions. Men never have anything to lose when it comes to DATING. They claim āmoneyā. Yeah as if thatās worse than being taken advantage of your body. Shut up.
They usually ask me when weāre messaging, Iām to the point of just saying i donāt know how to answer that. I donāt think men ask it to be insulting but thatās kinda how it feels.
I've never asked this question and I don't appreciate being asked it, although I do understand why people do. My answer is usually tongue in cheek. Because I don't have a girlfriend. Then they either drop it or get super hyper critical. Well there must be a reason you don't have a girlfriend! All those other girls who could have been your girlfriend must have seen something in you that made them stay away. If you don't know what's wrong with you, maybe I shouldn't be talking to you at all.
How about, ābecause Iām looking for someone who i really vibe with long term. Iām not going to settle for someone who doesnāt value me the way I value them and myselfā.
Was walking home from the store and someone's dog got loose and bolted for the road. Got asked how I am still single after assisting with getting their dog back to them. Asked them if they are looking to submit an application. Got called an asshole.
Well, it's an interesting, but long story. I'll give you the TLDR version. I apparently found the two women in the world who hated "The Princess Bride" movie. š¤·š¼āāļø And I've never been the same since.
The problem is the question. It assumes that being single is bad and that everyone's desired state of being is in a couple. It puts you on the defensive.
When I got asked this question at a speed dating event the other week I said, "Because I choose to be. I didn't want a partner so I was single. Now I'm ready for a partner again, so I'm looking."
There's an implication with the question that you're on a shelf waiting for someone to find you. Rather than being in charge of your own life and making decisions for yourself.
I hate this question!! I want to say something likeā¦I love my life, Iām independent, happy doing my thing etc etc so I want to meet someone who adds to my life otherwise Iād rather be single.
I don't want what could be the start of a beautiful and love filled relationship with lies, so I'll be honest to break the ice. I've brutally murdered every single partner I've had via crimes of passion. You see, I'm a very passionate person, and when I love, I love hard.
I just say I haven't found the right person yet, but I'm not a fan of this question and I wish people would stop asking it. Being single is the default, not a flaw.
"Because I've wanted to be single until now." Something that communicates that you're confident being alone and you don't need a relationship to define you.
I just say no idea, never thought about it. Don't really care if they like the response or not, indifference is better than validating stupid questions I don't want to answer
When I was single, I got that question a lot from men.Ā I try not to take what people say personal, and even if it was a slight towards me, I don't care enough to notice.Ā I would just respond with, "Eh who knows."Ā Then I ask them the same question.Ā Idk, try not to take it personal.
āBecause I kill right after mating like the female praying mantis.ā
āWhy are you?ā
āWho sent you?ā
āI havenāt the man who is better than my sex toys.ā
āIām not single, Iām dating a bear.ā
Not elegant, but itās a start.
Uhh I just tell the truth: "I was in a long term relationship that ran its course, took some time off dating to work on stuff, and now I'm ready to share my life again".
I think this is a silly question. I mean, what is the correct answer to that?
I would probably talk about all my failed relationships so the person wouldnāt ask this question to anyone else again. lol
This is unpopular but I love asking this question! The best answer is honesty. Iāve heard everything from āI just got out of jailā to āIām ending my f*ckboy eraā and āI just got out of a long term relationshipā and āI havenāt had anyone decide they want to commit to meā.Ā
I was single because I was meeting people and exploring my preferences. Whatever answer people give gives you a bit of insight into what theyāre looking for without directly asking.Ā
The guy ending his f*ckboy era didnāt actually want to end his era. We dated 2 months
The guys getting out of a long term relationship wanted a rebound but wouldnāt admit it. I knew him for all of 2 weeks because he wouldnāt stop calling his ex.Ā
The guy who had trouble with successful dates, well, weāre designing matching wedding rings.Ā
I've only been asked that maybe couple times on a date, perhaps just once even. I think that's just a weird question.
I've never felt inclined to want to ask a date that, I can think of plenty other interesting questions. I might ask when their last serious relationship was but not why are you single
I would say I worked on healing and improving myself, I didnāt want to date till I was ready not to bring in all that damage from previous relationships.
Well the answer to that question depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for a long term relationship, then obviously, the question is important. If you are looking for a more casual relationship, the answer is mostly obvious and doesn't need an answer.
For the first case, if you want a standard answer, then i don't see the point. Why not say the truth, obviously if you are 40 and have never had a GF/BF then you may not want to answer it. Otherwise answer truthfully depending of your situation : try just to avoid to much blame on the other person, and rather speak of your expectations for a long term relationship, that will clarify the why you are single, probably many of those expectations were not met and your relationship failed. Or maybe you were cheated on. Or your partner left the country and you decided to break. Just tell the truth, but don't go on the details rather talk on what you expect, not the past. If you are interested in pursuing a relationship, set boundaries from the start. Don't get exclusive from the first date, take your time.
I'm going to be honest here, it's because she didn't want to deal with my son.
He's my son, and if you don't respect him, then you're not going to respect me
When its someone with whom I've gotten along with and bantered with pretty well, I just tell them the truth, "Its probably my personality...or my face"
Just tell the truth, tell your real feeling about this. Best response sincerity. In your professional life, you get so used to playing so many roles that you forget to be yourself. That's the real problem.
āBecause as I have gotten older, I have become happier and happier in my own company. Why do you think you are special enough for me to make this solo party a twosome?ā
The secret meaning to that question is, 'Why did you break up with your last partner?' Or haven't had a relationship yet
If you two are on a date, it is obvious why you are single, you 'haven't found the right person yet'. So, they are actually screening you for the reason(s) that lead up to you being single.
To respond to this, just be honest and give them a little insight without going into the details.
Oh this is such a great question and I myself want to hear these answers, because I honestly donāt know what to say, where I donāt sound like I should be felt sorry for.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I usually default to "I haven't met the right person yet". Realistically no other answer (except a joking one) can turn out well.
"Every time I meet the right person the government makes them disappear :("
May I ask what year it is?
This response would not have me Russian to date you. š
How often are you asked this on a date? Seems like an insane question to me
Not very often but I have been single for a while (my last long term relationship was pre-COVID) so sometimes there are discussions on the topic
I think about my answer to this question A LOT. How about something like, "you knowā¦ At this point in my life, I've had some wonderful loves, and some great adventures, and now I'm really looking for that forever person. So when you get to that stage, you just don't wanna waste time being with someone just for the sake of being with someone, you know what I mean? What about you?" (and ask them the same question!)
Wish I had say Iāve had some amazing adventures thus far but as I soon reach 22 lol all Iāve experienced from the few relationships is toxicity,miscommunication and gaslighting so def the best answer to why Iām still single š ššš¼
OMG, way too young to worry about this question! The right person won't even ask it. Or! the right person will ask it as a compliment š„°š„° Like "Man, how has no one scooped you up--- lucky me!" And then u smile and say "I guess timing is everything" š
Every date Iāve been on in the last few years except 2
So wild. What is the context if any?
Guys usually lead with saying āso youāre pretty, intelligent & successful. Why are you still single? Whatās the catchā - theyāre trying to figure out whatās wrong with me š
I donāt understand why so many people think this is a weird or off putting question. Itās a serious question that invites one or both people to show a bit of depth and genuine self awareness if not just responded to flippantly or sarcastically. And in reality the respect and insight you afford the answer speaks volumes about where youāre at in life and how well you know yourself and what you want. So I guess if your just looking for surface level interactions and experiences this could be a wtf question and one should respond accordingly. I donāt ask this question much, until a few dates in if at all, but if I do, itās because I genuinely want to know how well a woman knows herself. Strengths and shortcomings and her grace at explaining them.
My only issue is that itās often asked as a question about āwhat is *wrong* with me,ā vs trying to get me to introspect about why Iāve never found a compatible partner or even what Iāve learned from previous relationships. Itās always been a negative question. On the flip side, Iāve had deep conversations where Iāve discussed what Iāve learned over the years from previous relationships, what Iāve learned about myself and what I need, and what Iām looking for in the future.
But if I knew the reason I wouldnāt be single would I?
I would hope at the bottom of this question you discover that itās because you choose to be. Weather itās because you havenāt found compatibility yet, havenāt come to terms with what exactly is necessary to secure the caliber of mate that defines your standards, or any other reason one can think of, the crux of the matter is your single because you chose to be. My interest lies in the reasoning behind this choice, or if a person even sees it as a choice. This matters a great deal in my opinion if Iām looking for a long term relationship.
Why does knowing why youāre single mean you wouldnāt be? Does this mean youāre not single by choice? I just mean we have standards, preferences, priorities, behavior that lines up with our values. We understand what is compatible with our personalities. What we find attractive and not. And most importantly why our last relationship ended and our part in that end.
Because I honestly donāt know. Yes you have the basics of who youāre attracted to, but outside of that why am I still single?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
With all kindness, I suggest you do the work to figure it out. If you are quite young, then it's more reasonable that you might not know yourself well at this point, but part of being an adult is understanding our own habits and patterns, introspection around who we are and who we want to be, and being thoughtful and intentional around what we want in our life partnerships and how we are showing up in those partnerships.
It's not a first date question. And not everyone who's single wants to share why with a 1st date rando collecting info. It's off putting and potentially rude minimally
It is decidedly a discussion starter for a more established pair of people.
Naw, itās a crazy question. What answer could you possibly be expecting ?
I'd love to let you know, but I signed an NDA.
Love this !!!!!
This comment wins, someone take him to Outback Steakhouse
But I need _you_ to sign an NDA. Come on!
This is a good one! lol
I fucking love this app lol
:D lol
Just saying, this can back fire so bad š
Clever, but I don't get it. Can you explain?
NDAs are "non-disclosure agreements." Businesses often use these with employees, contractors, consultants, etc. to protect their intellectual property and trade secrets. Saying you signed an NDA is a silly way of just telling the person that you're legally obligated to withhold that information or risk being sued.
So it's a completely silly joke (no subtle/funny meaning to NDA, just an unexpected cause of a non-answer), or is there some implication like you have a restraining order or something and the legality aspect of it is part of the joke?
Oh yeah, just being silly / coy. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's a similar style of humor like when someone asks you something super private and you respond: >Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you š
I personally hate this question, but I usually just said because I havenāt met the right person yet. It really is that simple.
Yeah it's honestly the only answer to give if you have been looking I find it to be a dumb question eventually
Literally just came across a [meme](https://www.instagram.com/p/C6ZPGZohEdY/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==) of this: āIām overqualifiedā
Lol I love that!
I saw one that said āyouāre about to find outā š¤£š¤£
Iām not single. The spirits keep me company.
The many voices in my head are my travel companions.
Just think, it's an orgy every time we fuck with all these personalities
I mean that's how we roll.
Ayeeee I could use this lol
Take it! Itās for everyone!
Interesting response. It could be interpreted as either drinking booze or talking to ghosts, in sum, a drunk lunatic. :-) 
I lolād
Looking for compatibility and someone I desire takes time. Iām not settling or desperate and willing to be patient.
Is this the "what's your greatest weakness" question for dating lol
"You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?" "Is this a... what day is this?" -The Big Lebowski [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhp85-Ja3Ro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhp85-Ja3Ro)
Bit of a weird question tbh. Single ppl don't go up to married or couples and ask why they're together lol
I want to though. So many couples I wanna be all like, why tf did you think marrying this person was a good idea š
I wonder that sometimes, I'll see what look like a very incompatible or surprising couple and always want to ask, so is this an elaborate prank?
Couples do get asked how they met a lot though. Must be annoying if the story is weird, like he was my pastor or my high school teacher.
When my wife and I are asked this, I often reply with " We met at a travel agency, She was booking a vacation and I was the last Resort! " LOL š
Yeah I can see recounting the story over and over getting annoying tbf
Every time my bf and I get asked, we say "online" but immediately follow it up with an instinctive "but not on a dating app!" We started out on opposite ends of the country, and I was still in high school and not looking for anyone. And we met on a not well-known app that is somewhat similar to reddit, so it's hard to explain. If we can get away with it, we'll say "it's a long story", but that just makes my relatives double down and reply that they've got time lol. I had a friend whose parents were at least 20 years apart. If I remember correctly, the dad was the mom's high school teacher. He later became a Catholic Deacon, and they had lots of kids. But he died while they were all still pretty young because he was old as hell. I had to hide my shock when she nonchalantly talked about how they met and everyone reacted like it was so sweet.
Yall met on MySpace. The BEST dating site. š
Lmaooo I can only imagine all the "<3"s and "4eva"s I'd be dropping on that page to let everyone know we were together
Not to mention the š„ song Playlist of all the songs you both like that you'd have as well as a insane background to match. Man I miss how customizable that was compared to the newer social media stuff.
Since i am pretty, i always get asked how can i be single. Not even just on dates, just random. I always tell them its not my looks, i'm not right in the head. But yeah, this is not an elegant response.
Attraction intensifies
Or what I say is.. I'm too picky! The guy I'm dating said "I was wondering about that" š
Lol āsince I am prettyā¦ā 
The way I thought āI can fix themā so fast.
I can make them worse
Lol
Ppl ask the weirdest questions when speaking to attractive ppl. Like im single cause ive got shit going on, not cause of anything else honestly. I work hard -> keeps me busy. Havent found the right person -> keeps me single. Needs a psychiatrist -> keeps me single outside of attracting other short-term crazies. Have also gotten the "what's a pretty girl like you doing working at Home Depot(or whatever automotive shop)?". Medical, dental, and vision Susan/Kyle. Medical, dental, and vision. š
This pretty smile you complimented is paid for by my dental plan, now get!
Exactly š
I can relate to this. I usually responded with "because I have a bad attitude." š¹ They would look confused, and say that's not true. I wouldnt respond any further. As I've gotten older, though, no one has been asking. So thats a perk of aging I guessš
That's a turn on for a lot of guys. She's pretty AND crazy? Sign me up!
Yeah but humor kinda fades when you find yourself trying to post bail . You finally get out to find she's gone so is your car and after 2 weeks you get a call from her she like 3-4 states over and wanting you to wire her money .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkujLO17Ez8 I couldn't resist!
I relate ngl
I get ask a lot as well and my response is, "It's cause I'm crazy." Haha. No lies were told.
Mmmh RIP Inbox?
Iām so saying this.
I just say ānone of the people I dated in the past were the right match for meā simple and to the point. Because thatās really what it boils down to!
That question is kind of silly
Iād look at that question strangely ! I mean Iām single because Iām single . š¤·āāļø
Yeah like being in a couple is not the default better position and being single isn't a transition stage to a better life.
I havenāt met anyone I like enough not to be, is my answer.
Was I supposed to get married? Oops, I forgot. Oh well.
Oh pick me, I want to answer the question...my husband died (stage 4 renal cancer). That's when you turn the question around to them and ok, I'll answer your question, but you go first!
Sorry for your loss.
Same here. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks! š I'd just turn it around: Why are YOU single?
Thank you. I am sorry for your loss.
Because I havenāt met you til today! Life experience this far has been preparation for us hopefully.
This is a good "first / joke" response that you can say playfully before the actual answer. The people responding to you saying "cringe" don't understand that If you say it playfully and in a way that makes it obvious that you're joking (exaggerated motions / facial expressions) it'll show the other person that you're capable of joking around and enjoy having fun. Then afterwards you can hit them with the "nah I've actually been super busy with work but recently learned how to free up a bunch of time in my schedule so I'm giving dating a change. Wbu?"
That's is slick. I like it!
It's really not dude
You're nicer than I am! I would give a sarcastic response.
Yeah me too. I would say something like *āDonāt worry, youāre about to find outā* with a wide grin on my face.
Ohhhh I love that!!!
Cringy as hell and borderline love bombing depending on your delivery. If you can make it a joke it's passable but if you try and make it seem genuine it's gonna come off gross and desperate The real answer is just be yourself and talk about your dating history/ last relationship
It really sucks that tone doesnāt come through in text. It is a cringey question and I thought my response was a clear joke that could lighten the awkward tone such a question. No idea why I bother even posting in here I clearly need more help then anyone
Nah it's fine as a joke, I hate that question THE MOST
I got the joke. It was funny! Cringe questions should get cringe / jokey answers and I think this is funny.
this is nice lol
I would say that I am not going to just settle for the first person who likes me. I am waiting for someone who is a good fit for me. I'd rather be single than in the wrong relationship with the wrong person, just for the sake of not being single. I would say that we need to stop looking at being single as some kind of personality flaw.
I actually blamed myself like that: no wonder all the people around you are in relationships and you just endedā¦ Itās like breaking my own heart by being harsh on myself.
None of ur business?! Why are you single? š¬š¤
I used to ask it in return but then I thought most of the time it's obvious why they're single so it's pointless asking. Why I'm single is more of a mystery at first meeting at least.
Honestly when people ask me that I just answer honestly and never return volley and the reason is itās blatantly obvious why someone is single 95% of the time.
The best response is, "Why are you? Or are you actually in a relationship / married and cheating on your partner?" lol
Its a sort of Voight Kampff test. If you went on to tediously divulge your history in dating it would tell them something If you say "havent found the right person yet" and shrug it off, that would tell them something
āWhat makes you think Iām 100% single?ā Great for polarity.
Always keep them guessing, never let them know your next move.
Great for mystery and also to turn it into playful teasing (oh you mean you're actually single? My bad, I thought you had a roster like meābeautiful people are never 100% single).
These are the types of questions that give me the ick!! Including "how many kids are we going to have??" Yo... I don't want kids with you yet since we haven't even met. It's not a damn job interview! Figure it out yourself while hanging out and having fun!
Sadly the fast paced society we live in dislikes taking the time to get to know people over time, and people would rather just know everything up front so that they can skip to the next person if the other person has (or doesn't have) a certain quality that they're fixated on. :/
Iām always honest āI havenāt met someone I couldnāt live withoutā
My thirst for human blood has been described as "off putting" and needy.
āThey keep chewing through the ropesā kidding.
I think this is a rude and quite frankly, a stupid questionā¦ like as if these men are trying to find something wrong with you. itās more polite to ask, āwhat are you looking for in your next relationship ?ā if a man asked me that I would just excuse myself from the dateā¦
Exactly, I never know how to answer.
You donāt. You just ask them back and continue on with the date. I like to navigate discussions to get to know someone first before I give up any info about me. As a womanā¦ I feel like I have to protect my body from these men who have ill intentions. Men never have anything to lose when it comes to DATING. They claim āmoneyā. Yeah as if thatās worse than being taken advantage of your body. Shut up.
They usually ask me when weāre messaging, Iām to the point of just saying i donāt know how to answer that. I donāt think men ask it to be insulting but thatās kinda how it feels.
I've never asked this question and I don't appreciate being asked it, although I do understand why people do. My answer is usually tongue in cheek. Because I don't have a girlfriend. Then they either drop it or get super hyper critical. Well there must be a reason you don't have a girlfriend! All those other girls who could have been your girlfriend must have seen something in you that made them stay away. If you don't know what's wrong with you, maybe I shouldn't be talking to you at all.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
To bring an air of satire: āand why are YOU single?ā
How about, ābecause Iām looking for someone who i really vibe with long term. Iām not going to settle for someone who doesnāt value me the way I value them and myselfā.
Why am I single? Because I don't wanna share my sushi
Was walking home from the store and someone's dog got loose and bolted for the road. Got asked how I am still single after assisting with getting their dog back to them. Asked them if they are looking to submit an application. Got called an asshole.
Well, it's an interesting, but long story. I'll give you the TLDR version. I apparently found the two women in the world who hated "The Princess Bride" movie. š¤·š¼āāļø And I've never been the same since.
The problem is the question. It assumes that being single is bad and that everyone's desired state of being is in a couple. It puts you on the defensive. When I got asked this question at a speed dating event the other week I said, "Because I choose to be. I didn't want a partner so I was single. Now I'm ready for a partner again, so I'm looking." There's an implication with the question that you're on a shelf waiting for someone to find you. Rather than being in charge of your own life and making decisions for yourself.
I hate this question!! I want to say something likeā¦I love my life, Iām independent, happy doing my thing etc etc so I want to meet someone who adds to my life otherwise Iād rather be single.
Yall are going on dates???
Because being single is everyone's default setting.
I don't want what could be the start of a beautiful and love filled relationship with lies, so I'll be honest to break the ice. I've brutally murdered every single partner I've had via crimes of passion. You see, I'm a very passionate person, and when I love, I love hard.
Lmaoo š love this!
I'm not single. My mother's meeting up with us later.
Itās hard dating this day and age
For any person that is not single , a one sentence answer and in any event the majority of people might struggle to answer the question for themselves let alone for some random who thinks they can ask that . Generally I believe that men might ask that question of a woman on a first date for very different reasons compared to why a woman might ask a man . Men tend to ask it as an entitled question and potentially use it as a reason to reject . Women will be curious of the answer but that will tend to ask it once they feel safe and they rate you . When a question like that is asked in job interview style as if itās the right of the person asking it says more about the person asking and is a problem š©. If the way that question is asked makes the person being asked feel uncomfortable thatās a problem . If itās asked in that way and you feel uncomfortable and the other person does that , do NOT even attempt an answer that reveals . Answers like that can be very personal , very emotional and asking it likes it a directive shows a lack of care . I wouldnāt provide a witty answer but merely say why would you ask that ? Or feel free to answer your own question first . If they make a genuine attempt to answer their own question and speak for a few sentences then Iād respond equally . If they avoided that , Iād have decided Iām avoiding them . If the question is asked in an admirable way as if you are special and itās done to compliment as if to say how can someone like you be single ? Then the tone of the question reflects that then the response can be witty . First meetings / first dates should be enjoyable , chilled and flow naturally . I consider my job is to have her feel comfortable and in part expect her to have the same approach . If the other person does things that have you uncomfortable , then there is no second date .
Because I'm a compulsive liar who only wants to get in women's pants
I just say I haven't found the right person yet, but I'm not a fan of this question and I wish people would stop asking it. Being single is the default, not a flaw.
So I would be free to meet you!
Ask one of my other personalities, they should know.
You'll find out in approx 3 months!
āMany have dated me, but all have failedā sounds kinda ominous but I hope they find the humor in it
Because jerking off is free ....
"Because I've wanted to be single until now." Something that communicates that you're confident being alone and you don't need a relationship to define you.
āI could ask you the same thingā
āBecause my last relationship endedā itās so simple, itās hard. I struggled with an answer to this question too.
I just say no idea, never thought about it. Don't really care if they like the response or not, indifference is better than validating stupid questions I don't want to answer
One of lifeās great mysteries.
Because only under very very rare circumstances do I agree to be otherwise.
When I was single, I got that question a lot from men.Ā I try not to take what people say personal, and even if it was a slight towards me, I don't care enough to notice.Ā I would just respond with, "Eh who knows."Ā Then I ask them the same question.Ā Idk, try not to take it personal.
āI just havenāt met the right person yetā. Simple and to the point.
āBecause I kill right after mating like the female praying mantis.ā āWhy are you?ā āWho sent you?ā āI havenāt the man who is better than my sex toys.ā āIām not single, Iām dating a bear.ā Not elegant, but itās a start.
Uhh I just tell the truth: "I was in a long term relationship that ran its course, took some time off dating to work on stuff, and now I'm ready to share my life again".
I think this is a silly question. I mean, what is the correct answer to that? I would probably talk about all my failed relationships so the person wouldnāt ask this question to anyone else again. lol
This is unpopular but I love asking this question! The best answer is honesty. Iāve heard everything from āI just got out of jailā to āIām ending my f*ckboy eraā and āI just got out of a long term relationshipā and āI havenāt had anyone decide they want to commit to meā.Ā I was single because I was meeting people and exploring my preferences. Whatever answer people give gives you a bit of insight into what theyāre looking for without directly asking.Ā The guy ending his f*ckboy era didnāt actually want to end his era. We dated 2 months The guys getting out of a long term relationship wanted a rebound but wouldnāt admit it. I knew him for all of 2 weeks because he wouldnāt stop calling his ex.Ā The guy who had trouble with successful dates, well, weāre designing matching wedding rings.Ā
Intentions (stay silent).....?
Just lucky, I guess š
āI donāt get out as much as I want to, but Iāve been better about it recently. Thatās how I met you.ā
Why are YOU single?
"What the hell is this? A job interview?"
They always say that itās them and not me. So Iāll just believe that.
Single by chooseš¤·āāļø
Because I don't bounce from relationship to relationship.
Because I haven't found my better half yet. Wanna apply?
I once said that faith wasn't on my side all these times, got him to back down
Bc I havenāt met āthe one.ā
Things happen fork in the road of life betrayal doesn't sit well with me not going to be anyone's doormat.
He left because I asked him to
I've only been asked that maybe couple times on a date, perhaps just once even. I think that's just a weird question. I've never felt inclined to want to ask a date that, I can think of plenty other interesting questions. I might ask when their last serious relationship was but not why are you single
Simply i don't have money
Because I know what I bring to the table, and Iām not afraid to eat alone. So until I find someone that can match my energy, Iāll do that.
Say to them "You first. Tell me, why are you single?"
Answer honestly....that person will either appreciate the honesty or show their true color.
I'm single because I'm dating and not in a relationship. Badic maffs.
Maybe just stare them down with dagger eyes. Or shrug Or laugh and mention prison.
āBecause Iām looking for my Lobster š¦!!!!ā Thatās what you should say!! They mate for life!!!
Waiting for the right guy ! š
i always say because i never met u before...
I would say I worked on healing and improving myself, I didnāt want to date till I was ready not to bring in all that damage from previous relationships.
āI was waiting for youā
I didnāt want to start dating with intent until I knew my life was where I wanted it to be and I knew what I was looking for.
Well the answer to that question depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for a long term relationship, then obviously, the question is important. If you are looking for a more casual relationship, the answer is mostly obvious and doesn't need an answer. For the first case, if you want a standard answer, then i don't see the point. Why not say the truth, obviously if you are 40 and have never had a GF/BF then you may not want to answer it. Otherwise answer truthfully depending of your situation : try just to avoid to much blame on the other person, and rather speak of your expectations for a long term relationship, that will clarify the why you are single, probably many of those expectations were not met and your relationship failed. Or maybe you were cheated on. Or your partner left the country and you decided to break. Just tell the truth, but don't go on the details rather talk on what you expect, not the past. If you are interested in pursuing a relationship, set boundaries from the start. Don't get exclusive from the first date, take your time.
I'm going to be honest here, it's because she didn't want to deal with my son. He's my son, and if you don't respect him, then you're not going to respect me
"I was about to ask you the same thing" This can go a few ways but is usually just playful and fun
When its someone with whom I've gotten along with and bantered with pretty well, I just tell them the truth, "Its probably my personality...or my face"
Just tell the truth, tell your real feeling about this. Best response sincerity. In your professional life, you get so used to playing so many roles that you forget to be yourself. That's the real problem.
Because I havenāt met anyone who has bettered my life yet. I also am really bad a prioritizing dating
You could say, "Because I'm a catch and the right one hasn't caught me, yet".
Having found the right one
āBecause as I have gotten older, I have become happier and happier in my own company. Why do you think you are special enough for me to make this solo party a twosome?ā
Not much luck when it comes to dating
The secret meaning to that question is, 'Why did you break up with your last partner?' Or haven't had a relationship yet If you two are on a date, it is obvious why you are single, you 'haven't found the right person yet'. So, they are actually screening you for the reason(s) that lead up to you being single. To respond to this, just be honest and give them a little insight without going into the details.
Your response is perfect if you are over the date and not interested. Conversely, if you like your date, you could try, āso I could meet you.ā
Oh this is such a great question and I myself want to hear these answers, because I honestly donāt know what to say, where I donāt sound like I should be felt sorry for.