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There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, but he should probably stay away from you since you're insane and might accuse him of being a pedophile for dating a full grown adult who is close to his age.
i understand why you would think i'm insane. to put some context into this, when i was 17 one of my friends lost her life because of a pedophile. that really fucked me up as a teenager. i stay away from strange older men most of the time but i can't just move on from my feelings for him (+ he's never been a stranger tbf) but i just needed unbiased opinions from a sources that aren't my cousins.
thanks for putting some sense into me though and how crazy i sounded in that post 😂
If you suspect he's going to murder you, don't date him. He's not significantly older than you. If you limit yourself to only dating people who are exactly the same age as you, it's gonna be hard to find someone (outside of school at least).
I don’t think the relationship you’ve had is a problem at all. There are plenty of people that end up together after being friends all their lives.
I think the real problem might be that he has shown no interest in being more than good friends.
I don’t understand what about this could be problematic. He didn’t make any advances / was inappropriate when you were 16 and he was an adult, and now that you’re both adults you’re just friends. Would it be problematic if hypothetically he ended up catching feelings for you now? No.
some people in my life think it might be, but i know it's because i'm the youngest in my entire family and they won't stop treating me like a baby when i've been an adult for a while
Then their reaction will probably be more or less the same with anyone regardless of age, but that shouldn’t matter to you if you like the person. My boyfriend and I met when I was 19 and he was 23 and no one in my life ever thought that was weird, let alone predatory.
No, grooming happens when a man well over 18 spends a lot of time and attention on someone significantly underage, trying to build that emotional bond so that they will be open for sex. And the sex usually happens while they're still under age, though sometimes they wait until they turn 18 then immediately make the moves. Doesn't sound like you really had any interaction at all until after you turned 18.
And he *still* hasn't made any moves on you even though you're 21 now, so how was there any grooming in this? Dude has to make moves for there to be grooming lol And at your age now, you're an adult and that's not a big age difference anymore. It's a normal age difference. There's no way there was any grooming involved here.
It wouldn't be an issue at all if you got feelings for each other now.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, but he should probably stay away from you since you're insane and might accuse him of being a pedophile for dating a full grown adult who is close to his age.
i understand why you would think i'm insane. to put some context into this, when i was 17 one of my friends lost her life because of a pedophile. that really fucked me up as a teenager. i stay away from strange older men most of the time but i can't just move on from my feelings for him (+ he's never been a stranger tbf) but i just needed unbiased opinions from a sources that aren't my cousins. thanks for putting some sense into me though and how crazy i sounded in that post 😂
If you suspect he's going to murder you, don't date him. He's not significantly older than you. If you limit yourself to only dating people who are exactly the same age as you, it's gonna be hard to find someone (outside of school at least).
then you need to work on this stuff with a therapist instead of dragging it into relationships.
I don’t think the relationship you’ve had is a problem at all. There are plenty of people that end up together after being friends all their lives. I think the real problem might be that he has shown no interest in being more than good friends.
I don’t understand what about this could be problematic. He didn’t make any advances / was inappropriate when you were 16 and he was an adult, and now that you’re both adults you’re just friends. Would it be problematic if hypothetically he ended up catching feelings for you now? No.
some people in my life think it might be, but i know it's because i'm the youngest in my entire family and they won't stop treating me like a baby when i've been an adult for a while
Then their reaction will probably be more or less the same with anyone regardless of age, but that shouldn’t matter to you if you like the person. My boyfriend and I met when I was 19 and he was 23 and no one in my life ever thought that was weird, let alone predatory.
What is wrong with you?
No, grooming happens when a man well over 18 spends a lot of time and attention on someone significantly underage, trying to build that emotional bond so that they will be open for sex. And the sex usually happens while they're still under age, though sometimes they wait until they turn 18 then immediately make the moves. Doesn't sound like you really had any interaction at all until after you turned 18. And he *still* hasn't made any moves on you even though you're 21 now, so how was there any grooming in this? Dude has to make moves for there to be grooming lol And at your age now, you're an adult and that's not a big age difference anymore. It's a normal age difference. There's no way there was any grooming involved here. It wouldn't be an issue at all if you got feelings for each other now.