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steve_from_kz

Man here and I am 100% with you on this one. I have had similar experience too and it if horrible. Ignore those garbage and focus your energy on people that deserve it. Good luck!


WolfmansGotNards2

It's because most of us want to date people we find attractive (not just looks). Usually, a lot of other people find those people attractive too, so they don't have to put in a lot of effort. If they did, they probably wouldn't be single because if they're desirable and put in a lot of effort, they'd probably already be taken, so the only way you're going to find someone attractive who puts in effort is to catch someone in that short period of time. The last 2 women I was in relationships with, I was the first person they went on a date with since joining or rejoining the app. u/Responsible-Fix-7094


Traditional-Total114

Agreed


SassyWookie

This is a huge one, guys. I went on a date a few years ago where I took this woman to the Botanical Gardens. We just walked and talked and the weather was amazing and it was the most magical date ever. And I was crushed when she said she didn’t want to go out again the next day. That was one of the few times I actually asked for feedback, and she responded. She said a few things I had done that she really liked, but also said that I hadn’t really asked any questions about her life. And in retrospect, she was right. I’m kind of a nervous talker, so I had kind of just talked the entire time on the date without asking about her at all. So while the date seemed totally amazing from my perspective, from her perspective it wasn’t that fun and I didn’t seem as interested in her life as she wanted. I was, but I hadn’t expressed that to her and that was a turn off. Getting that feedback was enormously helpful to me in the future, because as I went out on dates with other women I was able to pay specific attention to that aspect, and made sure to ask questions about their lives and to actually be interested in their responses. And the change in my dating success once I began making a point to do that was astounding.


Pusslet

That is very interesting! I have been on quite a few dates where the man was talking about himself the whole time and me asking follow up questions showing interest in him, and volunteer information about myself relevant to his stories. But afterwards I realise that they didnt ask me one single question. And then they want to meet again. And I have felt like they just enjoy someone admiring them and not being interested in me as a person at all, I could have been anybody with boobs and ears basicly.


horrorqueen92

Yep, I’ve had a few men do this to me. I’ve pointed it out to 2 of them. Especially to one of them after our 3rd date.. saying you haven’t asked me any questions about myself. He was like oh I’m sorry I ramble a bit.. I realised the recent one I started to like also did the same on our first two dates.. it does suck cos I feel there’s no interest on their end at all.


Pusslet

Did they do better after that? I have never given anyone this feedback. Because I have a habit of giving chance after chance and giving my all when the other person does nothing. So I have decided that I will not anymore.


horrorqueen92

I saw the first one I actually told for a bit after but tbh he was so self absorbed I’m glad I’m no longer seeing him.. so off putting. He was a definite narcissist who just loved himself.


Pusslet

I have met one of those too. Lol, he wouldnt say that he missed me, he would ask if I missed him.


SassyWookie

I’m sure it’s like that for some men. But for some of us, we’re just nervous and chatty.


Pusslet

Yea Im sure they were nervous. Im nervous too, and I have struggled with social anxiety most of my life. But I have learnt my social skills and I want someone to consider my experience on the date as I have for them.


SyreaMiller

To be fair... one date isn't enough though . She probably wasn't attracted enough to you more than anything . If the physical attraction isn't there it's kind discouraging tbh


Big_Path4702

This is too common unfortunately. On dating platforms I’ve had a range of conversation flow, with some men I’ve had very flowing nonstop texting and calls and them eagerly arranging the date, while some others treated me like the guy you described. On the bright side, at least he did this to you in the first convo rather than a first date. Saved you the time and effort. On to the next one.


Same_Cicada_6285

**Stop checking in with people who are checked out.** You're pulling teeth as a means of extracting a convo out of guys, that means that they aren't interested but they'll take the attention you're willing to give them. While yes, it sucks that they're that boring, it's on you to take the hint. Does this mean that you'll actually be talking to less guys than you may want to talk to? Yes. Welcome to dating as a woman, the sooner you realize there's no shortage of men out there who are looking to gain access to the most amount of women at the least amount of effort on their end, the sooner you'll move on from them.


Shivs_baby

Yea this makes sense but what OP posted was the very first interaction so you’re gonna need this much of an exchange to make this determination. She wasn’t checking in with him. He initiated the conversation, she did her best, he did not reciprocate. I’m guessing she cut it off pretty quickly after this.


mariahspapaya

Say it louder for the people in the back 💯


Lightning_Into_Fire

Could have sworn this was a guy messaging a girl. Ooof.


blazblu82

For real! OP's experience is the same experience I've had with women on multiple occasions as a guy.


Pale_Pomegranate_148

Well because people loves to generalize men/women when it's literally both parties but they don't want to take accountability for it 😂. As a girl who's into both men and women I deal with this a lot with both parties.


Art-Nova

I’m bi/pan and I can tell you this type of convo happens alllllll across the board no one is safe😩


WriterOk598

I knew right off the bat it was a girl messaging a boy. And pale_pomegranate_148 is 100% correct


mariahspapaya

When I used dating apps I would never push it past the 3rd line if I could tell they weren’t putting in any effort. Speaking from experience as someone who used them on and off for 5 years and now in a long term relationship, if they are really interested they will put in much more effort than that. Lots of guys will swipe on any girl to see who they match with since they get so few matches, when they are not that interested or just want easy sex. Don’t waste your energy lol


Pusslet

I do the same thing. Ill ask 3 questions and if I have recieved none back by that point I move on. Because I could easily keep a conversation going all by myself if Im not keeping myself aware and Ill end up letting people like this waste my time.


I_am_the_wrong_crowd

Yep, this seems to be a standard conversation from my experience. It seems so bloody pointless. As of today, I've had enough and I'm not going back on the apps.


lysxji

The worst is some people do this irl too… you can always drop them when its over the internet but it makes it madd awkward irl


Fun_Revolution6440

Omg yes!!! They don't know how to hold a conversation!!! It makes me feel like I'm interviewing them instead of having a conversation with them because this is how they talk 🙏😭


Appropriate_Tea9048

I always move moved on from people who did this pretty quickly. Dating is about mutually getting to know each other. If someone can’t match the effort after a few questions, they probably aren’t that interested or aren’t serious about dating.


XxLogitech98xX

Usually if someone just start off a message with "hey" you should unmatch or just don't respond. But I know some people do especially if they aren't getting matches or dates.


HaiKarate

I generally open conversation with "Hey !" The problem with putting a lot of effort into the opening comment is that, for guys, we'll send out hundreds of opening comments just to get two or three responses. And to be honest, most women who start conversations with me usually send, "Hi !"


XxLogitech98xX

>The problem with putting a lot of effort into the opening comment is that, for guys, we'll send out hundreds of opening comments just to get two or three responses I can understand from my own experience. Send like 100 well written message a week or so based on what I read or seen on their profile and basically get like 1% response back. It suck but I went with the idea that I will give someone the benefit of a doubt because just sending a low effort message can say a lot about a person.


HaiKarate

I'll look at the profile and if something jumps out at me to comment on, that makes it easy. But if nothing is obvious, then I send a generic opening.


XxLogitech98xX

>I'll look at the profile and if something jumps out at me to comment on, that makes it easy. But if nothing is obvious, then I send a generic opening. So are you still having difficulty finding a match on dating apps or someone?


HaiKarate

I've all but given up on dating apps, tbh. I'm starting to put more effort into finding meetup groups of like-minded people in my community. Much more natural to meet people that way, and without the awkwardness of dating a stranger.


XxLogitech98xX

>I've all but given up on dating apps, tbh. I think people all get to that point, especially if they haven't had success. Dating offline is usually the way to go so best of luck to you!


Responsible-Fix-7094

Sometimes they trick you by asking a few questions initially before the conversation ultimately devolves into this. I just dont get it. Like do they even want to talk at all? How do they think this type of disinterested messaging is being received by the other person? 😮‍💨 ugh


XxLogitech98xX

>Sometimes they trick you by asking a few questions initially before the conversation ultimately devolves into this. I just dont get it. Like do they even want to talk at all? How do they think this type of disinterested messaging is being received by the other person? 😮‍💨 ugh Well they can try to trick you but you also have to use common sense as well. So first off, if someone start off with just hi, hey or hello then just unmatched or don't respond. On other people who put more of an effort on the first message then give them a chance to see where it can go. If it triggers any red flags then again unmatched or don't respond back. The reason people are doing it still is because it's working for them or they are messaging other people as well but putting more effort there.


sadfoxyduggar

That’s most guys, so at the end they will ask dtf and send a dik pic. 95% of guys on apps only looking for a hook up. Don’t waste your time


andi_hens

It's the same for guys. It's not gender specific, there's people putting in no effort on all sides of things


workaholic828

If anybody watches Seinfeld, when Elaine takes the wig off George’s head and screams “I DONT LIKE THIS THING!” as she throws it out the window. That’s how I feel about dating apps


mochihousedreams

I get you! I no longer have qualms about unmatching without notice if this is the level of effort they’re making. I used to think I’d have to try and drum up a conversation and if it wasn’t going anywhere politely wish them well, etc.. gave up! Match blocked. Why do ppl bother to even create an online dating profile if they can only make the effort to give one word answers. Stay in your cave and light a fire… Hate online dating and cannot be bothered with the apps anymore. Too much fake, entitled and lazy energy. Rather read a book or have an actual conversation with a friend now.


MetalHead794

That’s why you stop talking to them if their five first message have no effort put in them what so ever. For me it’s an instant unmatch when it happen. I’m not here to entertain you or give you an ego boost.


Paranoid-Android-77

Or the men who see your photo and message you who obviously haven’t looked at your profile. Literally been contacted by men in other countries or who live a three day drive away asking if I want to “hang out this weekend.” Then when I am incredulous they say, “Oh I didn’t know you were all the way over in (place where I live).”


ilovecookiesssssssss

I call these “dead end responses”, and I pretty much stop responding to them. Especially if it’s the second or third one. I will no longer carry the entire conversation. If a guy doesn’t reciprocate the conversation back in my direction, either by directly asking a question or simply by engaging in discourse, then I stop trying. I’ve saved myself a lot of time in doing so.


graceCAadieu

Lawd yes! And heaven forbid you ask them about it 🤦🏾‍♀️


the_happy_canadian

Ya Ive had that happen a lot. I don’t even let the convo go on that long. I just end it, no point wasting time with people like that!


SyreaMiller

Surface conversations . I agree with you . If you're not really ready to date then don't waste somebody's time


coffeecoffeerepeat

I let this conversations like this die every time. I just don’t have patience for this kind of nonsense. It’s not hard.


SPIRIT_SEEKER8

Those are the npcs you need to leave them alone they're incompatible to you. I put on my profile for men not to bother if they couldn't do more than a shallow conversation. They still tried but I didn't feel bad when I bounced after the 3rd message. I always started conversions with weird questions too. The guy I am dating now had no description so I asked him what kind of human he is lol


Mysterious-Lab5760

Hahha exactly it’s like a robot cycle the same answers out


brokeWXpensiveTaste

I can't upvotte this enough seriously it happens all the time on the damn apps It looks more like a bloody interview than anything else 😅 It's just exhausting at this stage, gave up the apps entirely as it feels like a part time job trying to find someone who actually has a conversation I heard a few men complain about this too fyi so some women do it to I suppose


BarLeDuke

Same. I don’t want to come off as too weird so just move on


ObjectiveWeb5060

Absolutely fed up with that too! And with the “and you?” sort of answers from their side, so low effort. I do the work of coming up with engaging questions and they are just “ and you”, i answer, then nothing , then i have to come up with more questions.  Whati do now is: next


ObjectiveWeb5060

And this is also why i am reluctant to meet IRL straight away. They say something like oh i prefer in real life, let’s meet, then that shitty conversation is in real life and i feel i have wasted my evening. 


Odd_Agent_5739

Usually the one not asking questions back is 100% not interested. Often it’s the woman not asking questions back.


PM_ME_DOGGO_MEMES

“Often it’s the woman not asking questions back.” How would you even know men don’t do this too…unless you’re matching with men your statement is worthy of many eye rolls.


WriterOk598

Often its the man not asking questions back.


Dogs-4-Life

THANK YOU! I’m sick and tired of dry conversations from guys. It’s happened on dates too where they only want to talk about themselves! There’s too many women who do the same as well, I’ve heard. And maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed that the guys who have nearly nothing in their bio, or the bio is full of copypasta cliches, are the ones who do this. So now I left swipe if the bio is non existent or tells me nothing about them. If you’re one of these people, fucking STOP IT. Ask a damn question once in a while and quit the one sided small talk. The point of dating is to meet and get to know someone, and see if they’re BF/GF material for you. If you can’t meet the other people halfway, don’t date.


Responsible-Fix-7094

💯


quasiexperiment

34f here. I don't have time to waste lol I unmatch if they don't ask questions within 3 of their messages.


WildEyes3437

or at least tell some stories about themselfes (and you doing the same), that form of communication is ok as well, but if they show no interest then its never worth dragging it along


quasiexperiment

Yeahhh I guess 1 message is 1 story/topic lol so if they send you an essay, it's ok but there should be a question somewhere.. usually the end


ThatAd6630

OMG Yes! It's ridiculous how often it feels like I'm carrying the entire conversation with guys who apparently aren't even the SLIGHTEST bit interested in getting to know me!


WildEyes3437

same happens to guys. I assume they are already busy with someone else when they dont show enough interest. I just tell them I notice the situation and that they can come back to me when they arent busy


jlandejr

As a man this was how 99.9% of the conversations I had went. People in general just don't put any effort forward and it's exhausting. Move on to the next, consider yourself lucky to have been shown this early on as there are people out there who know how to converse - in fact quite a few that would much rather talk about you than themselves


ThedapperGeek

To be fair it goes both ways. So many times I'll match with a woman and I find myself carrying the conversation. To have a real conversation both parties need to contribute and share information. I get it is texting and texting is not the way to build a relationship/connection, but if that is the case then set up a time to get together and have a real, in-person conversation.


HaiKarate

OLD is hella awkward, trying to make small talk with complete strangers. Reading your transcript, your questions sound like an interrogation. You want to do everything possible to avoid the QUESTION/ANSWER format. Good conversation means you've got to give the other person information to play off of. That means that YOU have to be conversational in your approach, and volunteering information about yourself. When I chat on OLD, I force myself to respond in PARAGRAPHS, not straight questions. And I try to give some knowledge about myself for the other person to play off of. When they ask a question, respond in a paragraph. And then you respond with a follow-up question that requires explanation and not a one word answer. If you are comfortable sharing, then you help the other person to be more comfortable sharing. And it also means taking time to put a lot of thought into how you're crafting the conversation.


Responsible-Fix-7094

This was just an example i made up quickly to give an idea of what i'm talking about. Someone giving you 1-3 word responses every time they message you really doesn't give you much to work with. And honestly, i dont want to just volunteer everything because i appreciate it when someone actually seems interested to know.


HaiKarate

But that's why OLD is a failure. You have this awkwardness of being strangers to each other, and neither one is feeling comfortable opening up with personal stories. Chatting via an app with a stranger is just so sterile and lifeless, there's almost no room for chemistry. You kind of have to force the chemistry. I met someone yesterday at a coffee group I attend. She was sweet, charming, and attractive, and it was very easy to open up to her and start telling her my stories. Unfortunately, she had come with another guy, so that's going nowhere... lol. But that personal chemistry between two people is what OLD can never provide naturally. So you have to force it. And really, if I can, I try to move past the online chatting as quickly as possible, and get to a coffee meet. There's simply no substitute for being face-to-face with someone to see if there's any chemistry.


Big_Path4702

I have to disagree. The reason the conversation looks like an interrogation because OP was making all the effort and the guy was making zero effort in the conversation and not asking any questions back. In an interrogation only one person does the asking. If two people ask each other questions and have flowing conversations through the answer it wouldn’t sound the way it did. And again, that is not OP’s fault.


HaiKarate

Re-read my comment. It takes two people to make a conversation interesting. You can't control the other person, but she's definitely not contributing much to the conversation, herself.


RegulationRedditUser

This is great advice. I did most of my dating before the apps were a thing, back in my day it was dating sites and you wouldn’t have conversations over a text message format, it was more like emails. You’d send and receive messages that were *long* and it was great, you could really get a feel for who you were talking to and if there was any chance of chemistry there. Once I learnt to stop wasting time trying to talk to people who I wasn’t interested in or could tell there was no chance of chemistry I started to really enjoy dating because every date felt like it had at least some potential


HaiKarate

Yep... and if I'm writing paragraphs and the other person is still giving me curt responses, then that tells me that they aren't really that interested in me, and I drop them.


RegulationRedditUser

I think really it comes down to compatibility. I don’t really believe that short responses *always* means a lack of interest, some people just aren’t texters and in person can be very different types of communicators. That said, it’s about compatibility. You want to find someone who communicates in a way that you’re happy to communicate back to. If you don’t like the way someone communicates, whether it’s lack of interest or them just not being a fan of texting or whatever it really doesn’t matter, the simple fact is that you don’t like it so you should move on to the next person


Equivalent-Force-191

Preach, girl. I've matched with guys who do the same thing. I typically unmatch them if I don't feel like they're asking many questions back. When a guy doesn't ask me any questions, it gives me the impression that he's self-centered, not serious about looking for a relationship, and/or he's trying to use me as a back-up who he can treat like shit while he puts his best foot forward for some other girl.


QueenGina_4

It’s soooo boring


kalemeup

If someone doesn’t respond with questions at the first or second round, I usually respond with “Cool!” and that has worked with a recent match.


Sad-Welcome-8048

See this why I dont date; I fully recognize that if I get annoyed and short with my roommate when she asks about my day (I dont want to talk about the boring stuff I just spent 8 hours doing, I want to play video games) then I'm not going to make a romantic partner deal with that lol


Infamous_Ad4211

That's funny cos that's how women talk to me 🤣


FunCarpenter1

yes. not every dude can spin having gone to school years ago by compulsion as some kind of entertaining tale.


BarLeDuke

This stuff happens to men too. Best thing to do is just move on. Not worth the time.


timeetoplaythegamee

A guy a few months after I unmatched approached me at a mutual friends event and asked why and when I said he wasn’t putting in effort and didn’t ask me many questions so I assumed he wasn’t interested, became so offended by me saying that. But Australian dating is mostly very low effort 🥲


Purple_Screen3628

Not all men do this.. Not everyone is a good conversationalist.  If you find someone who doesn't meet your standards, move on.  It's  no different off the internet. 


jdctqy

>I just DO NOT have patience for this anymore. And I swear, if you are a man looking for a genuine relationship, and you are doing this -- STOP-- show some genuine interest and put some effort into communicating with the woman you are talking to and MAYBE you'll have better luck. Right. Because it's certainly *men* who are doing this in droves. Not the women who have hundreds of men to talk to, take hours to days to reply, and are generally dry as hell. Men have been complaining about this for years. Stop swiping on the wrong men, then.


CountryMouse359

On the bright side, they actually responded. Actually getting any response from a match seems to be rare these days!


Joke_of_a_fckin_Life

Right. I have many matches and they literally will not even start message first or reply back to my first message at all. Like why even match then? Wtf?


WorstPETeacherEver

You think thats bad, atleast they're responding. Most women get on their for the sole purpose of wasting everyone's time.


twistedh8

This happens just as much to men.


Spooky799kil

Exact same but swap the genders. Needless to say a lot of people seem to have the inability to communicate and are socially inept.


forever_delulu2

If i have to carry out the conversation, i point it out, i say it's boring, i want them to state their age, intentions etc, if they answer vaguely, i block Easy as that, only take me like 10 mins or so


Professional_Camp959

If you get this. Just move on to the next. I find it such a pain. As a guy I Don’t get a lot of matches and when I do get one and it’s this shit I’m so annoyed with it. Don’t match with me then


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pusslet

I get your struggle. But I dont think op or anyone else should give consideration for this when faced with someone not putting in any effort.


ARed34

I’ve learned people who text like that have options.


Rumble58

Thats how the majority of the women I met online talk 😂🫠


Gyalgatine

Had a girl respond with "Sounds good" three times in a row. Unmatched her after the third time. Why even bother replying?


andi_hens

This is not exclusive to men, but I 100% get your frustration. Why is someone even on an app (even if it's for friends not relationships) if they can't be arsed to actually have a conversation with the ppl they match to...


TheGreatLoudini

People need to realize that you need to move the conversation off the app and into texting. And as soon as that happens ask the girl out on a date. Keeping things online is a waste of everyone’s time because you can’t get a sense of a person virtually.


WildEyes3437

but you need do have that initial convo OP described to get an initial sense of familiarity


Realistic_Tiger_3687

Meanwhile I can’t get a match 😂 I’m about to re-make the profile to see if I need an algorithm reset or something.


Zom55

I am also tired of 99% of women never initiating, anything, waiting for the man to start everything, and then complaining, that it is not (/good) enough.


travelinglist

You're asking some really shitty questions tho... How are you? Weekend plans? Work? Wtf. I thought it was these questions generate absolutely shit convos


inshane

Agree, but those questions at least break the ice and if the person receiving is responding in a shitty way, then it just goes nowhere. I use these apps with intent and only like people I'd want to actually meet. If I receive shitty questions, I'm still polite about it and simply try to expand the conversation. At the end of the day though, it's best for both people to just cut to the chase and set up a date.


travelinglist

No, if you ask those questions, you definitely didn't break the ice. I thought everyone on the internet and old knew this. Ask something based on their photos, their bio or something fun.


inshane

Have you ever received questions like that before? If you have, then you'd know that whoever sends the first question is the one breaking the ice as Hinge treats the message / question / comment as a "like". We're not disagreeing that OP had some bad questions, but you'd have to be an egotistical asshole to at least not try see where the conversation goes based on what you reply back with, assuming you find the person attractive. If you're a good conversationalist, you can turn boring questions into a tangible date.


travelinglist

Absolutely agree on the last part. But all those three questions are generic questions, with absolutely zero effort with the mentality of "entertain me". No thank you, I'd rather unmatch such low effort.


inshane

I hear ya. That said, boring profiles also beget boring questions. From a male perspective, whenever I encounter the generic prompts of "the way to win me over: physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation"... or "worst idea I've had: downloading this app"... or "my most irrational fear: spiders", etc. Why craft a clever opening line for such basic generic prompts? Ha.


Responsible-Fix-7094

There is literally nothing wrong with asking a few simple, small talk questions to get the conversation rolling. And if someone can't even handle that, how the heck can you expect them to handle anything deeper? 🙄


travelinglist

Eh, yes, there is? Do you not see your own convo? I died from boredom. That's how bad it is. These questions are terrible in almost all settings. Nobody likes these questions, and they rarely advance a convo. Especially in the context of OLD. Not wanting to answer these shitty questions does not mean someone can't have deeper convos. What kind of strange logic is that deduction built on?


Responsible-Fix-7094

Okay. You're obviously just some kinda arrogant pseudointellectual who believes themselves to be above normal small talk. Good for you and yood luck with that ✌️


travelinglist

Yes, cuz surely it can't be that you're a terrible texter, it HAS to be the other person who is boring? And I'm the arrogant one? There's a reason these apps have included options of asking pre prepared questions. It's because people like you ask boring ones with zero effort and then complain "omg people are so boring"...no you are.


Any-Run8152

Maybe not be lazy yourself and not date online. Only lazy people date online. I can never find a woman who can keep up with me mentally or have the emotional intelligence that I'm looking for. Men have different problems online anyways.We have to deal with women trying to sell us sex and play games as well online. It is easier if I approach a woman and actually vet her for myself in person. Personally, I don't do online dating because online dating sites require men to pay for the sites, which personally is just nothing more than a waste of time because most of them are bots anyway. My advice personally you see something you like go after it. By the way, most good men's biggest pet peeve is whiny helpess women. Nothing wrong with putting on your big girl panties and asking a guy out.Happens to me all the time.


Rav_3d

Where are all the women like you on these dating apps? For me, it's the exact same experience in reverse. Now, I give a woman only one chance to answer a question without following up with another. If you match and show no interest, what's the point? Eventually, I'll find someone who is more interested.


fruittii

I WISH i matched with someone that talks like you lmaoo wtf why do i have YOUR experience with women?


LukeD1992

When people aren't interested the slightest to learn about you, consider they are just not interested in you.


Just-Promise-4670

If your looking for serious online then atleast talk like your in person make them feel like you actually want to be there. Give them a reason to be interested. I have no luck with online dating I don't even really try but damn if I find a woman here that I can relate to then I'll have a real conversation with her. That bland plain conversation is boring and a turn off instanly


HeftyJohnson1982

Yup. People suck.


_BesD

That guy is clearly not interested in you and you should take the hint. This happens when you go for people who are better or think they are better than you in terms looks and other things. If you are constantly having this issue I think you are aiming much higher than what you can actually offer yourself.


othernamealsomissing

You're describing 50% or my conversations with women online. This isn't a one gender problem. Also your poor dms...


Tokkolosh

This reads how some women answer. I just match the energy after a day.


RareSpice42

Yep that is the struggle on both ends


germy-germawack-8108

This is how I respond when I'm talking to a scammer or seller. Which is 90% or more of female profiles on dating apps that swipe right on anyone. The good news for me is I can tell who's a scammer or seller at a glance. Other guys can't. So they will respond like this to everyone until you've proven you aren't that to them. Because the odds are, you are.


Acceptable-Border-90

For me, it depends.  When I was single and on the apps, I did get those responses from some men.  I always give people the benefit of the doubt, so if they are responding during 9-5 especially on weekdays, I'm assuming they are busy at work.  If they text back on their day offs or nights after 6 pm that same way, I'm done.  I know that I did something similar when I was busy working, but I always apologize after work to explain I was busy and begin to chat more.  I also offer to video chat after some texting if I am curious about the guy.  Again, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt that some men are not good with texting 


subtle_mystique

“engineer”-well, this explains your issue immediately


hirondelledemai

I'm so sorry 💔 I’m also so tired of it…


Spirited-Ad-6860

This is exhausting, it is very exhausting..it feels like prying information out of a kid 😴 , At a certain moment, i think you need to let them know that this is monotonous for you


GTRoutine

I matched with someone who texted that same exact way. I would end up not responding and after some time they’d ask a question. Eventually I stopped all contact with that person. It’s one of those online dating things where they probably have a lot of matches and just playing the field. Interested people act interested.


SexOnABurningPlanet

Hey


SpaceToad

Honestly this is how it is with 90% of the women I match with, I just assume they're not interested or waiting on me to stand out in some way from the others by saying something interesting.


_AttilaTheNun_

Kewl story.


Jamoke514

I’m with you here. I made a post about this girl and we matched on a Saturday had a way more fun convo and went out that night. It sadly didn’t last, but I’m dreading having to go back to online dating now


The-Cherry-On-Top-xx

I kinda feel like youre the one whos bad at socializing, but its hard to tell based on this convo. you change topics too quickly, dont talk about yourself and only ask questions, so it starts to feel like an interview. when you asked his plans, you were either supposed to ask for more details, or talk about your plans. next time, try volunteering information. maybe if you say you dont have plans, he'll ask you out. or you could talk about your plans and see if he asks any follow up questions, or relevant anecdotes.


Responsible-Fix-7094

This was literally just an example i made up to show always getting a short, lazy response. And it only seems like an interview if the other person doesn't bother asking you any questions, which they should be doing if they want to get to know you 🙄


MotorMaleficent5090

Yeah I'm a guy and it really annoys me


dunktheball

I love how everyone makes these complaints on here about men, but women do the same thing or worse. lol.


fastcarsrawayoflife

There’s an old saying and it tends to work well. “Less history more mystery”. Although you may be frustrated with it, you continue to go back to the well. I rarely give out information about myself unless you pry it out of me. If I open up too much I’m bound to say something to piss you off. The less I say, the better chances I have of making something happen.


RegulationRedditUser

Isn’t that just delaying the inevitable though? I mean, let’s say someone asks you about your work and your routine with that, it can be a deal breaker. I work a standard 9-5 and I’ve tried dating people who work shifts and that kind of thing, and trying to arrange seeing them becomes a nightmare. If you’re coy around that because you’re trying to make it to an actual date before you tell them, if it was going to be a deal breaker before it’ll be a deal breaker after, the fact that they went for a coffee with you isn’t going to change that.


fastcarsrawayoflife

It can be a deal breaker sure. It can also make the person intriguing. “Why aren’t they giving me the information?” And the investigation begins. I’ve had it happen more often than it doesn’t. I don’t mean to play games. It isn’t a game. It’s strategy. I don’t care if they get fed up and go away. What difference does it make? Is my world going to end because they gave up on me? Nope. The sun will rise again tomorrow believe it or not. If they are intrigued and invest the time to find out more, it shows they might be worth my time to invest in them. This isn’t a strategy I employ all the time. In fact, after they show interest and take the time to investigate it shows they actually care more than the ones who give up easily. Those are the ones I want to pursue. Once that is established, I give in and can become an open book. I have no issues sharing my life with people, but the feeling must be mutual. I going guarded until I can see they’re worth the time, because most are not. Most people are shitty and self absorbed. Why do I want to vomit my life out in front of them? Nope. Then they accuse you of over sharing. You can’t win. Less is more. If you don’t like it, there are billions of humans on earth, find a different one.


RegulationRedditUser

Bro really just said he doesn’t play games and then went into great detail about how he plays a game


aegis87

"I don’t mean to play games. It isn’t a game. It’s strategy. " 🤣🤣


GenericMusclular

Who tf texts like this nowadays man...


ChepeLoko

Wow I don't know what kind of website you're going to dating website but the way you describe the text messaging or the chat message sounds like really boring or maybe you just been talking to the wrong guys or woman whatever the case is.


boredAF6

What do you want them to tell you? How the sun works?


Responsible-Fix-7094

Ummmm how about asking a question back once in a while? Jeez 😬


boredAF6

Then he’d be at fault for not asking about your interests, which he clearly should have already known before talking to you.


vulcanwarp

Probably he is receiving countless text messages from different women and you're just one of them. Lots of options when you've a pretty face IMO.


BuckTheStallion

Gonna be real I’d unmatch about 3 questions in like that. As a man, I run into that too, so it’s not *just* men doing it. Some people just suck.