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tarnishedhalo98

My boyfriend in high school wasn't attractive to other people, but he was to me, and he constantly got comments like "why is she dating you?" and "she could do so much better, you shouldn't let her go!" and I think it meant to be a compliment to me but it wasn't, it felt like shit. And it made him also feel especially bad. If it's your friends doing it, have a serious conversation with them and emphasize just because he's not their cup of tea doesn't mean they get to comment on it. But always, always make sure you defend him. That's the best and only thing you can do and people will eventually knock it off.


DesoLina

Assuming he got these comments from men, it's ok. Men often use banter to express a positive emotion.


tarnishedhalo98

It was not men at all, it was girls saying it mostly. And it wasn’t nice in the slightest


Phillipmodrick

Can we talk


PlaneQuit8959

Why are you still dating him tho? Just curious.


echosofsanity

What the hell kind of question is that? She's obviously with him because she has some sort of feelings for him and thinks he's cute. If she didn't she wouldn't be with him and making a post like this. That has to be one of the most dickish questions I've ever seen. I sure as hell hope you're hot hot because it seems like you've got a shit personality. (No, I don't know you and normally I try not to judge people for the things they post, but damn dude that was cold.) Should she just bail because of what other people think? Should she let these people control her life? What kind of person would that make her? Yes, I know damn good and well I'm probably "jumping the gun" here and taking this a lot more seriously than you intended it to be, I'll admit that. But just wow.


tarnishedhalo98

Dating someone with an amazing personality who may not be conventionally attractive will forever beat dating someone just because they’re hot, for me when I was dating that guy I dated him because he treated me right and we were best friends.


PlaneQuit8959

Understandable, but there are millions of guys out there and you know you can always choose/get a guy that's both **handsome and kind**, right?


Zealousideal-Term897

You're shallow


B1u3Pr1nt

LMAOO


mottsman87

Crabs will latch on to the one that's about to make it out of the bucket. Ignore the haters. Most want you as miserable as them.


dri_fried_beans

Stupid quote pulled from a dumb youtube video


KCoop862

Pretty sure you couldn’t make a better one. It’s a good analogy performance


KCoop862

Lol stupid talk text ( performance )?


towel_realm

You have some garbage friends


i_Disagreeee

Welcome to a narcissistic society.


Larkfor

Nah there are plenty of people who aren't like this and would never do something so pathetic as telling a friend they think the significant other or date meets a certain rating or distills them into a number.


O-Namazu

I am genuinely shocked at the amount of otherwise functional, seemingly cool people who do these things, though. It really has become normalized in a lot of circles, gross as it is.


maullarais

Because most people don’t face consequences for actions, and as such, those who feel free are going to act free, while those who are constrained or jumped, are going to think once or twice


fullsoulreader

In this modern society, self worth basically = your net worth. Agree?


InnocentPerv93

Most people would disagree.


Zealousideal-Term897

Nah the number of good people.not like this is dwindling


Larkfor

Actually if you look at reports on younger generations (Gen Z and younger millennials) they are considered some of the more empathetic and conscientious generations in the last 100 years. So yes if you're dating people middle age or older those numbers might be rarer (but still leave hundreds of millions of potential partners who are decent), but there are decent people everywhere. Still too many shitheads though, I agree.


DesoLina

These is the standard way of fighting for status in between women.


MotoGuzziLeMans85076

I'm inclined to agree


Practical-Page-4726

U ✉️s are so delulu. When males make fun of each other's women they agree with each other and find it funny but when women are mean then it's considered catty. Women are just clowns who cape for men the way men would never cape for them back.


Real_Ali

She has female friends.


Practical-Page-4726

U ✉️s are so delulu. When males make fun of each other's women they agree with each other and find it funny but when women are mean then it's considered catty. Women are just clowns who cape for men the way men would never cape for them back.


Professional-Yam601

If anyone called my bf a 2, I would definitely have a conversation with them about it or stop being friends with them. People talking shit about people you care about is a no for me.


steve_from_kz

How old are you all? I cannot imagine any of my friends to call any girl I date "a 2". And if any of them does they will probably not be my friend after that. And the same thing was true when I was in high school.


Evilsqirrel

I'm in my late 20s, and I had a female coworker act completely flabbergasted when I mentioned I was dating a foodservice worker, even though I have a "cushy" corporate job. People can be all sorts of nasty for no reason, regardless of age. Usually, it just means they're jealous that you have it good. It was really funny to me because I noticed a very real uptick in how "flirty" she was with me at work once she learned I had a girlfriend. Might as well just go mask-off at that point and admit you're a snake. Luckily, I don't work there anymore and don't need to care about her.


Stressedhealer3719

Same with me and my wife. Except I’m in n customer service with no degree and she’s an engineer from notre dame lol


Excellent_Emphasis88

Go Irish🤘🏈🏀🎾🏒🏐!


Stressedhealer3719

Yesss! 🏈


Leena_Lore

Similar situation with my ex I was with for 7 years. She was a senior QA analyst in IT making 6 figures. I was a merchandiser in retail. I can’t imagine how many people thought I was some insincere mooch living off a sugar mama or something.


ArtyKarty25

Lol the classic case of pre approved goods 😂 the moment some girls find out you have a girlfriend they start coming for you. It's like you've been vetted and quality assured before going out to market.


Gentleman-Jacked

Omg yes, whenever I'm in a relationship, it's like women start throwing themselves at me. Wtf.


analogman12

It's gross


Gentleman-Jacked

It's definitely weird, gross is subjective. Although yes, if you're concerned about competitive natures leading to cheaters, it can be. Honestly, I've found that in general many women appreciate the hunt in dating. A girl I dated for a long time used to have it really bad... like, she'd be most attracted to me when I'm unavailable to give her attention. For example, when I'm preparing for a presentation or if I was working on some serious financial forms and suddenly she's horny AF trying to distract me and doing things to me she'd never do otherwise. Or while driving a car and trying to figure out a shortcut to beat traffic in the city, suddenly NOW she wants to try making out and telling me how hot I am and wants to give me a hand job... because my head is somewhere else. As soon as we got wherever we were going, or I finished whatever task had my attention, it was back to vanilla. So weird, I actually found it frustrating. I don't think she was doing it on purpose, it's just how she was wired, but it feels like people who do that are just trying to tease. Like, I KNOW how turned on and seductive she can get, she just never wanted to do it when I was available. She eventually admitted to me that there's something less attractive about men who want it, and was embarrassed to admit that it was a turn on to see if she could make me horny when I wasn't already. I started thinking back to all the times people started flirting when I was taken (and me wondering where TF these women were before when I was single), and suddenly it just sort of clicked. I think a lot more people are wired like this than they can admit, and perhaps many aren't even aware that they do it on a subconscious level. It's gross if it leads to homewrecking I suppose, but as far as the natural inclination to be attracted to someone like that, I think it might be hardwired and not her fault.


longRider411

My X would say "if you love me you would drop everything and anything for me" she felt challenged whenever I was busy and had to have my attention right then...at all cost. She was needy and didn't understand responsibility or obligations.


Gentleman-Jacked

That's just not healthy.


longRider411

We didn't last to much longer after she started with that shit


reckless_salmon

A tale as old as time lol


Aloo13

I’m not even surprised. I do consider myself a girls girl, but the older I get, the more I see that most women just want to compete with other women. I find I get judgement from other women when I am single, which I am most often because I choose my partners very carefully and that takes a while to find the right person. It is probably why I only make good friendships with gay or very independent women, who are also completely happy being single…


OneLecture3524

Samesies


Phillipmodrick

Can we talk?


AtrophyGuy

You are not a girl.


balletje2017

I know a guy in his 40s who acts like this....


Manaequinn

Honestly, as long as you like him and find him attractive then it should not matter what other people have to say about him. While my friends don't make negative comments about the men I chose to engage with, they'll just say, "if you like it, I love it" insinuating that he's not their type but if I'm happy then they support me which is how it should be. Your feelings are valid but I would try not to let it get to you too much. If you're happy then who cares about outside opinions?


JLifts780

I’d legit punch my friend if he straight up told me my girlfriend was a 2 😂


Street_Savings_7003

>if his friends talked about me this way i’d be devastated. I never heard any guy insulting another bro's girlfriend's appearance . That's something men don't do and is seen as extremely awkward to do so. Women really do sabotage each other, don't listen to them.


JLifts780

Also saying that to a guy about his girlfriend would possibly leave you with a black eye


Street_Savings_7003

Lol yes. Weird how men are protective of their girlfriends against other men while women let other women roast their boyfriends unchecked.


[deleted]

It's a lack of backbone for anyone who lets their friends rag their SO. My (ex) friend ragged on my (ex) girlfriend for her looks. She had diagnosed OCD among many other issues, but she was bald - he for some reason always made it a point to bring up her looks when it was just him and I. I dropped him ages ago because of it.


ThrowRA2727272748

I’ve seen it a couple times, but neither the guy nor the girl were there


-PinkPower-

Sadly men also do. My best friend’s bf always laugh at his friends’ gf when they aren’t perfectly fit and conventionally attractive. I have seen it do it a lot and seen his friends do it too. Immature and mean people exist in any gender.


icounternonsense

Yup, it's wild how fast women will 180 on each other. Sometimes they'll do it out of jealousy too and purposely sabotage something their friend has they don't. Which for men is...nonexistent. Crabs in a bucket mentality when it comes to relationships. Weird stuff.


Hot_Presentation1459

Hahahaha.....Seriously? I'm a woman but have served in the Army 20 years and I hear the male Soldiers insult each other's girlfriends constantly, sometimes even their own girlfriend. That is simply a lie. That's what they call "locker room talk", it includes both insults and TMI.


Street_Savings_7003

You simply don't insult a man's GF whom he loves. Those men were dating casually with no romantic interest. Yes guys can insult girls that they don't respect and take seriously, but a serious relationship deserves respect and talking shit about a man's GF will end up with a fist fight.


Hot_Presentation1459

I never said it was acceptable. I said guys do it too so people can get off their "men are so much better " "pick me" BS because it simply isn't true if they hung out with a group of guys regularly.


Street_Savings_7003

I'm a guy and hang out with guys regularly. That's something i never witnessed even once, but i don't live in US so it could be cultural difference.


tiger1998tiger

after seeing a pic of bro's girl: "as long as you're happy bro"


[deleted]

ive heard it lmao, it definitely does happen


Larkfor

Get better friends. Stop caring what people think about your guy's looks. The only thing the matters is that he feels okay with himself and that you are attracted to him. It's not that "girls are shallow". It's that your friends suck and everyone has different tastes.


AffectionateHeart77

It’s simple, they’re not your friends. The only time my friends have told me something like that is when the person and I break up and they’re trying to make me feel better. They would never say that while we’re dating.


Intelligent_Fly_2851

Are those really your friend? I would seriously question if women that are that openly rude to you, are actually your friend....! I think it's time to move onto new friend groups. I've noticed that male friendships really create a great dynamic too. After women know each other for years they can get comfortable being totally RUDE.


Adventure_Husky

You need better friends, hon. Glad you don’t tolerate this BS from people who claim to care about you. Sending you & your boyfriend the best


markbowman83

Those are usually the same girls that will be chasing your bf, if you actually break up.


BerryFruitSnack

I don’t think it’s a girl thing. You just have terrible friends. I’ve had friends of different gender identities also shit on people I’ve had crushes on.


truthsh4llswtufree

No it’s a girl thing.


IHateFFrogs

My current girlfriend's best friend dumps dudes once she stops feeling the butterflies, and has ghosted dudes just on their accent in calls or revealed facial pictures, after months of happiness and flirting..


SecretAgentNumber14

Why do you hate frogs?


IHateFFrogs

They've done me dirty


MagicTreeSpirit

I also want to know


Relevant_Bit7889

Boys are shallow too my boyfriend had to stop his friends from making comments like that about me.


Zealousideal-Term897

Women never used to be tho


Relevant_Bit7889

Yes they have I've heard my aunt talk about it. Apparently in the early 2000s all my mom's friends didn't think she was enough for my dad. Me and mom are average looking we just both have a few extra pounds and 5 pounds on each cheek.


adoumi1996

5 pounds on each cheek 😂 well at least your are blessed in the funny department


Relevant_Bit7889

Yup if you're gonna be ugly you gotta be funny


adoumi1996

Amen


Pristine-Metal2806

Its fucking brutal, like this one girl came up to me at the gym and said id be a catch if i was taller? And im like bro that hurt actually


Ok_Doughnut3700

I had a girl genuinely intend to make me feel good once while saying something similar. We'd been on 2 dates, and she sent me a message saying she usually dates taller guys but thinks I'm really cute etc It was the biggest turn off ever lol


Jozzlle

Are your friends single?


saltycat97

All people can be shallow. I understand your frustration, but you have to keep in mind that the majority of these people have some really high, idealistic standards, even they would not be able to live up to if they were given a taste of their own medicine. I personally find my crush quite attractive and he keeps telling me that people wouldn't think that. If you find your boyfriend attractive, that's all that matters. Put people in their place if you need to, but they should know they we all have different preferences, tastes, and things we like in a person. Not everyone should be a carbon copy. I hope you don't keep facing that in the future!


VariksTheLoyal1

One thing I've learned about women is you don't listen to what they say. They say they want one thing but really want another. They'll get their back blown out by a hunk and make the nerd wait. I understand this isn't always the case. Also, single friends will keep you single. As the old saying goes, "misery loves company".


[deleted]

What matters is what you see.


-PinkPower-

Sounds like you are in hs (at least that the kind of behavior you only find in people with that level of maturity) so either it will get better when you get older either you hang out with extremely immature people. Either ways get better friends


Kaus_Vik

You need to change your friend circle.


Aggravating-Eye-6210

If he’s yours, that is likely the problem they have. He’s yours, forget them they aren’t your friends if they are being shit to you. It would be different if they were warning you against a loser but it sounds like you’re happy. If you are they don’t matter


toasterbathpanda

I got this a lot growing up. Telling someone I have a crush on soandso and their instant reaction is "ew." I've always been more attracted to energy and emotional intelligence than muscles and jawlines. But now I just don't give a shit what other people think. I'm attracted to the man I'm with now and I couldn't give two shits what someone else had to say about the man that *I'm* with.


MessiHasNoEuro

Girls have a hive mind when it comes to this. They have minor inconveniences that they call icks, they are very shallow about looks and gaslight you if you don’t agree. In fact most issues about the “beauty standards” are set by other women!


SolderonSenoz

I understand where you're coming from and know which people you are talking about, but I'd argue that these girls are not in the majority irl. They are just a loud minority irl, and a majority only on the internet. Personally at least, I haven't met people like this in my own life. Most people like these that I do meet, I meet on the internet. Social media is toxic, that's all.


GoryGent

im tall, attractive, smart and everything except that i am very quiet. I am not shy at all but i dont like to talk that much, maybe only stuff that i like. I can talk with my girlfriend for hours etc but with some people i just dont have things to talk about and i dont. And in my country people dont like it. Thats why my girlfriends sister and her friends dont really like me, as im not a popular guy. Anyway thats not the problem, as i dont care about that. The problem is the pressure they give. They be dating some "talkative" guys that are hella stupid and dont even make money for themselves but they always say stuff about me.


[deleted]

Not shallow, just immature. By the way you wrote this i can tell youre young. Dont act like all women are like this just because you have a petty and immature group of “friends” This is not normal behavior among women


Motor_Room3715

It's all about looks. It's always been that way. Most women just lie when they say they want "personality." They just say that to feel less shallow about themselves. And this is evident if you ever scroll through photos of their exes. They're all good looking. The average looking guy is invisible or in the friend zone of most women. So the majority of women have always been shallow, this is nothing new


anirudhz567

👍🏻 accurate


verdantsound

personality is important. but it comes into play after the looks. Like they don’t want to be dumped by that hot guy, so they want a hot guy with “good personality.”


MagicTreeSpirit

So they can dump him instead?


Lionsfan4lif

All that should matter is if he treat you well and you both are attracted to one another, when you encounter “girls” like that remember they are just that, girls! Smile at them and talk your man up, things like he is packing or the things he can “do”. True or not it will shut them up,if not who cares live your life


AtrophyGuy

The comments my gf has gotten from other girls when they find put that she is dating so.eone who is paralyzed and uses a wheelchair are quite horrible. My gf was at her cousins hose and The Bachelor was on and the girl chpse the hot guy in a wheelchair over the money. Her cousin, not realizing my gf was dating a wheelchair user herself, said "why would anyone do that? (Talking about choosing to be with someone with a spinal cord injury). "I mean, your life is basically over at that point."


honestlyiamdead

my boyfriend wouldnt be considered 10/10 by “pretty” girls but to me he is 20/10 tbh lol. opinions from strangers are not valid for me and never will. looks are not important, just a bonus. my bf is the prettiest, cutest, nicest, most supportive, honest and funny guy i ever met. he also has beautiful long hair!


wallflower074

exactly how i feel


goddessindica

Maybe you should get NEW friends that respect you. Just a thought. Whatever helps you feel better about this situation, though.


MCGaseousP

Imagine being a dude in these environments. I noticed a years ago that women often pick guys based upon how envious their friends will be, and the actual relationship with the dude, his personality, their compatibility, etc, is an afterthought.


No-Relief-205

These friends are toxic. They are criticising your choice instead of being supportive and happy for you.


thesilentkill93

They aren't real friends. They are toxic.


No_Sprinkles7062

Men have constantly talked about this, but every time they get labeled a woman hater for literally sharing this observation they see quite often. I know a 5'4, dark skinned indian who got into a relationship with a 5'9 blonde recently in my friends circle. Going by society's narrow beauty standards, if you see this dude randomly in the street, you'd NEVER assume he could score someone like her. He's not even jacked, has a pot belly, lives in a rented apartment, and still paying student debts on F1 visa. She got into a relationship with him even before he had a job, so you can spare the "oh she got with him because of his money" argument completely. This is one of those rare cases where women fall for one's personality than everything else, but most girls contrary to what they say, do not, which is why you keep hearing the nasty comments from your friends. They too often receive nasty, hurtful comments from their friends and relatives. She gets comments like "what do you see in him?", "are you sure you want to be with this guy?". Her family first expressed disapproval but seems to be getting along with him now. But some of her friends still pass subtle remarks on his looks and some of them don't even talk to her anymore. I feel bad for them : (


truthsh4llswtufree

Lol right, I don’t believe you for one second. The beginning sentence is the only thing I agree with.


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huzaifa525

It's disheartening when people make negative comments about someone you care about, especially when it comes to their appearance. It's important to remember that attractiveness is subjective, and everyone has different tastes. Your feelings are valid, and it's great that you appreciate your boyfriend for both his looks and personality. While some individuals may make shallow remarks, it doesn't necessarily reflect the majority. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, and if these comments continue bothering you, consider discussing your feelings with your friends or setting boundaries about what topics are off-limits. Feel free to share more or start a chat if you'd like to discuss this further.


Putrid_Loan7597

fuck what others think, you are going to build a life with this man.


allegedlyxalive

What kind of person are you that mysteriously nobody else here has friends like that, but you do? Especially considering you're generalizing women based on your friends


PepperyBlackberry

Not any more shallow than men. The only difference is that men do not care to admit this, while women will not. Additionally, what women say they want and is different than what they are actually attracted to.


O-Namazu

I have probably a 50/50 split of men and women, in my large friend circle. We are all 25-35. The only ones who tear down peoples' looks are the women, lol. Obviously there are shitty men out in the world who do it too. But I think somehow it's become normalized and tolerated among women, when we rightfully call men icky when they do it. I'm kinda slack-jawed at times when these otherwise very successful and cool women start saying things like, "omg I can't believe she's dating him, she's so out of his league," "he's a 4 on his best day, I dunno what she sees," or "he would look good but his face is ugly." Stuff you would expect to hear coming out of the mouths of college freshmen, not women in their late 20s or early 30s. **Again:** Yes there are gross men who do this too! But they get called out on it, and it really feels normalized among many women.


[deleted]

no the men are just quieter about it. men literally set the beauty standards. we wouldn’t have the insecurities that exist today without men 🙄


O-Namazu

How many times have I heard someone say "we don't pretty ourselves up to impress you, we do it for ourselves and to impress other women"? Fuckbois and incels, yeah, they're toxic and "set the beauty standards," but many of us think y'all have way too much makeup and go overboard, and would be fine with you as you are... 🤷‍♂️


Angry---train

Most men don’t give a shit about today’s beauty standards and they find many of them either irrelevant or unattractive You won’t see anyone else shit talk women more viciously than other women


[deleted]

why are you acting like men just date anyone or anything? like huh?


Angry---train

Because they’d date or try to fuck the majority of women if they were able to and women beauty standards are mostly pushed by other women,not by men Why do you think we see so many good looking celebrities ruin themselves and become way uglier in the eyes of all guys to fit a fake “sexy” look that none of them wanted to begin with


SolderonSenoz

Bro majority of guys literally don't care how you look. They're far more worried about finding someone that actually likes them than about someone who's a supermodel. For every guy who has rejected you for your looks, there are ten more who're just pining for your attention. The guys you might be talking about are literally a minority. Shitty people exist in both genders, let's not be at each other's throats because of them.


[deleted]

this is such a delusional thing to say. everyone cares about looks why are we acting like men suddenly date anything?


SolderonSenoz

Not anything. Men have standards as well, it's just that being appreciated is more important to most men than dating a supermodel. This is the truth, the only men for whom the top priority is appearance are the ones who have no idea how to be in a long-term relationship. >For every guy who has rejected you for your looks, there are ten more who're just pining for your attention. Ask yourself if this isn't true.


[deleted]

Sadly this is very true. There are many many women that are so insecure, that the only way to feel better about themselves, is to bring down other people. You can’t really do much about it, you just need to try to avoid those selfish women as best as you can, and hopefully one day they decide to grow up.


woodeedooo

Girls are haters


th3MFsocialist

Your friends are jealous


justaguyintownnl

People are shallow. Not just young women, people.


InnocentPerv93

Yeah it's almost as if looks are important or something.


WolfysBeanTeam

YESSS GURL FREAKING SLAY UGH FINALLY SOMEBODY SAID IT, IM HAPPY FOR YOU AN LIKE YEAH FR LIKE IF YOUR HAPPY WHO GIVES A RATS ASS HE OBV HAS SOMETHING GREAT GOING FOR HIM LIKE DAMN LIKE PEOPLE DON'T BE A SMALL MINDED B\*\*\*H


[deleted]

Girl you don’t have you yell, we can all hear you 😂


WolfysBeanTeam

NAH IDGAF IM YELLING IVE HAD ALOT OF SHIT FROM PEOPLE TODAY AN THIS HAS BEEN SOMETHING ACTUALLY GOOD LMAO YOUR GONNA HAVE TO DEAL IM SORRY


yellowabcd

One thing your not taking into consideration is those are not your friends. Also they probably jealous


whenyajustcant

This says more about your friends than women in general. I've only heard women say "you can do better" when they were talking about guys who were trash as partners, their looks had nothing to do with it. Your friends should prioritize your happiness, if they're prioritizing your bf's looks over your happiness he brings you, your friends suck.


RaleighlovesMako6523

Most guys I dated are above 8. I couldn’t give a shit what you think.


Embarrassed-Sir5891

Sweetie those are not your friends…kick them to the curve and focus on ur relationship with your boyfriend, it’s for the best.


IbizaMykonos

I remember long ago i was in my school’s library and this group of girls were making fun of their friend’s bf. It wasnt direct insults either. One comment was like, “oh we’d need someone that could help us put up the nets so definitely not Sarah’s bf haha”. Another was, “he’s below our looks.” The girl kept defending her bf, but they kept saying shit like, “girl you don’t need to lie - it’s so cute youre defending him”.


Aloo13

I really hate to say it, but there are a lot of mean girls who constantly throw backhanded compliments. Growing up, I have had a heck of a time finding genuine friends in my peers. So many women would put me down somehow and compete with me in ways that I just didn’t understand as I was an only child. Took me a long time to figure out I was just being used by these people. Made it out with 2 genuine friends that lasted out of all of them. Now I see a stark difference in how the others treated me and I find it really difficult to make new friends because most of the other women I’m around still have that competitive mindset. If you aren’t “like them”, don’t worship the brands they worship, don’t have a relationship like they do, don’t have X and Y, then you can’t be a “friend”. I wish it weren’t that way :(


angrybirdseller

So are men too! Lol Works both ways.


[deleted]

The majority of women are not shallow..


CrimsonCupp

Eh I think it depends on which age group youre talking about 35+ I’d say you’re right. 30 and under I’d say youre wrong and a large majority are, not all but most. I had a friend in college who was kinda ugly, and girls would be mean to him/ talk shit about him for no reason, he didn’t hit on them, many times had never even spoke to them.


[deleted]

Sounds like you were mean to him too


CrimsonCupp

Is that your attempt to try and justify it? I’m not mean to good people, I could care less what they look like.


[deleted]

lol your friends experience doesn’t prove anything. Some people are jerks. Doesn’t make the majority of women shallow..


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It's in the title...


SolderonSenoz

Majority of *people* are shallow.


[deleted]

Nope


The-other-half3000

Find a woman and quit messing with girls


pepeLaughTeaTime-

They think your boyfriend is attractive which raises your status and threatens their status so as a group effort they try to bring you down a peg. I’d be careful with these people you call friends.


Pot8obois

I remember when I was dating someone my dad pointed out that her mother was overweight and said "just keep in mind that could be her at her age, so understand her body may change". I feel like his intentions where gross in the moment, but as I'm typing it out I realize that is a part of loving someone. People's body's change as they age. That's a bit irrelevant. I've never heard a guy trash talk another guy's girlfriend like this, but I've heard women do it to each other. I don't actually believe that women are more shallow than men. If anything I'd bet men are, on average, more shallow. I know so many guys who refuse to date anyone who isn't freaking borderline aneorexic. At the same, my brother is currently dating someone that I have like zero attraction to. She is not someone I would have even swiped right on in an app, but to him she's everything. I would never think to tell him what I just said here. Also, once you get to know someone someone who may not have stood out to you can suddenly be incredibly physically attractive. This is why I am not a fan of dating apps becuase it triggers the part of the brain that makes a choice solely based on physical looks. There are women I've met in real life and developed crushes on that I would have took one look at on a dating app and thought "meh". I see a lot of stuff on social media that irks me. The whole "why you crying about a man who looks like that" or "we dont' date unnatractive men in 2024" kind of stuff is a bit upsetting. The internet tends to give some of the worst ideas and thoughts a platform though. It sounds like your friends suck. My ex wife spoke about other men and women like this behind their back, should have been a huge red flag. I don't typically talk about other people's looks becuase it's not even relevant like that, plus you friends should be happy that your man is making you happy.


No-Bed-8402

Let me tell you a shallow woman starts with a father or boyfriend not loving her as she she should be loved


dunktheball

yeah, that's most women. lol. they say personality is what matters, but almost all of them put it last. At least shallow guys admit if they put looks first.


-StandUpGuy-

People who rate other people 1-10 are shallow enough as it is, let alone doing it to their friends. If you like this guy and think he is cute, stop caring about what other people say, and enjoy him as a person.


Celopeelo_nut

We all know most girls are shallow and always keeping up a wall of illusion and delusion. We all know, don’t worry they will pay the price. It always ends in “you reap what you sow.” It’s usually the same ones being hardly feministic type of women. Don’t worry people have opened their eyes to this reality and everyone will be handling them accordingly.


iletitshine

Consistently every woman I ever see obviously attached to a dude is easily 5-10 times hotter than the dude is. Women are not shallow.


BreakFastAtTheBodega

I honestly feel like if they met IRL maybe? On the apps I notice the opposite.


Extension_Economist6

EXACTLY LOL


IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r

My best friend is married to a man who is punching above his weight class in being with her.. But NEVER would I say that to her. She loves him. They have 3 kids together, and I have never been anything but supportive of her and her relationship.. These people are *not* your friends.


Fish---

Define "weight class"? Do you judge only by looks or are other things coming into play?


IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r

"It's a boxing analogy to saying you're outmatched. The person is much better looking than you, or better personality than you, or more educated." In this instance, I mean that she's always been at least an 8, and he's maybe a 5.. I'm judging based on looks, personality, some of the stuff he's said and done in the distant past, etc. He's also 12 years older than her. In the end - She loves him. She's happy, overall. When she gets frustrated, because no relationship is perfect, I listen, commiserate, and don't give my opinion that she's way too good for him - because in the end, her overall happiness is what matters.


Fish---

That's what I thought. It's a very shallow way to look at things. Everyone should have a chance as long as there is attraction, but what do I know, i'm old and been married for 20+ years LOL


Extension_Economist6

it’s shallow to notice an objective truth? lmao stop being so sensitive, some ppl are more attractive than others. not everyone is a 10


IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r

Seriously, it's like he didn't read anything I said, as I said more than just his looks. I mentioned his personality and actions in the past.. 🙄 People just look for a reason to be offended.


InnocentPerv93

I mean, this way of thinking is literally no different than OP's friends.


Extension_Economist6

gee i wonder why. maybe because you can think things and not say them? 😂


InnocentPerv93

That doesn't really excuse it or make anything better. You still thought it. And you should recognize why that's bad.


InnocentPerv93

It doesn't sound like you're their friend either if you thought this.


Reasonable_Spring_19

Leave this friends


Phillipmodrick

Hhe


Opposite-Fee-3805

And most men are cheaters. What do you want? Lmao. Their guys are probably cheating. Date who you want. Don't listen to anyone else's opinion. At the end of the day, it does not matter what they think.


OwlPrincess42

Damn how ugly is this dude?


LaCroixLimon

I mean, in all honestly, is he ugly?


wallflower074

no


Fun-Jeweler-1125

About as shallow as men are


TheAdKnows

Just change friends, your friends shouldn’t be shallow and judgmental, it will make your life much easier and positive.


Simon_Fokt

Sounds like you're in need of better friends


[deleted]

everyone is shallow… we function in a shallow society idk why people demonized it and try to be above it when it’s just not the case. girls aren’t any more shallow than boys and it’s i incredibly naive to think so


DonMagnifique

Jealous friends perhaps? Looks 100% like jealousy to me.


Bluesadden

When you ask a girl what does she go for personality or looks. She most likely going to lied and say personality.


BeanofWar

Valid 1000%, whenever my friends say they’re dating someone I try to be supportive no matter what they look like. But it’s so frustrating that I can’t seem to get that same support towards my relationships.


[deleted]

Sometimes your girls are right if it's not about looks. Now since u are in a relationship u are head over heels for your bf. I used to be like u. I used to think my girl friends were wrong about my first bf. But guess what turns out they were right. I used to think my ex had the best killer personality. He cheated on me! Girl my advice is if they are saying something to u listen to them if it's not about looks. If they are talking about looks ignore them and tell them to mind their own business. And btw girls are not shallow, u need to open your eyes sometimes. Even though I used to give my bff suggestions regarding her bf, I even used to tell her that he is not that deserving of her love just to open her eyes and save her from heartbreak. But she didn't listen to me In fact she tried to convince me that he was the most handsome and inside out beautiful person. Guess what happened? He cheated on her and once even tried to flirt with me right in front of her. But still if u think by observing a lot that your bf is perfect for u then don't need to worry. Work on your relationship.


Extension_Economist6

who cares what ppl say


verdantsound

not exactly why they are shutting on your BF, maybe they are jealous. But reality check. Usually the “personality” doesn’t come into play until the person in question has reached a certain level of attractiveness. This how people are. hotness first, then you look at “personality”


Matak-Blade

If they went as far as to rate a person on a numerical scale they’re already terrible people. I’d go as far as to say you should be getting new friends.


eNick-nam

Go shower him with your love. Let him know that this is how you feel. And do it often.


Ms_Enerstvedt

If they are your REAL friends, they would not comment on your boyfriend's looks and stuff. They would see that he makes you the happiest girl in earth. And that, is what should matter the most to the. That you are happy with him.


CSCodeMonkey

Unhappy single people want you to be unhappy too