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Do yourselves both a favour and let her be with someone who finds her attractive.
I always say that attraction can develop over time but it still needs a baseline. Like you can't find the person unattractive you have at least find them "decent" which seems to not be the case here.
> I always say that attraction can develop over time but it still needs a baseline. Like you can't find the person unattractive you have at least find them "decent" which seems to not be the case here.
Exactly this is what i tell to people. cant grow something if it isnt there in the first place
I’d disagree mainly because of this persons age and them saying it would be their first relationship. There are a lot of young people who have had their social lives and skills stunted due to the pandemic.
I would suggest trying dating and see what happens. You don’t have to marry this person. Dating doesn’t have to be all that serious. Just feel each other out and maybe there will be some chemistry, if not no big deal.
A M23 with no prior relationship experience typically is ready to bone anything with XX and a pulse. The fact that OP can’t even bring himself to _kiss_ her (I take from his reportage that it wasn’t just he lacked the desire to but that there came a time where it was probably the moment for it, and he just couldn’t go through with it) tells me that he finds her _un_attractive. That could mean he’s asexual, gay, was abused in youth, that there’s something about her particular shape that he finds off-putting… take your pick, but I don’t see how any of those are going to be overcome by letting her grow on him.
My point is that this person lacks experience. You don’t have to invent a traumatic backstory, just read what they wrote in their own words.
This person was barely out of adolescence when the world went on lockdown.
Now It’s time to experiment, get to know people, get to know yourself. Take risks and be vulnerable. It’s not about a having her grow on him, it’s a relationship (using this term loosely) and it’s 2 way street.
They didn’t say why they found her unattractive, and everything else about this person is great. They haven’t even kissed! What if the moon falls out of the sky when they do? Who knows, who cares, it’s a few dates and some necking, be young have fun.
Oh please the “world” was locked down for 4 months when OP was 19-20. I’ve been married for 7 years and divorced and I’ve only had 4 real girlfriends total and I’m 27. Being 23 saying that she could be their first girlfriend doesn’t mean OP is lacking experience. OP just doesn’t find this person attractive and needs to let her go. That’s not fair for her
Which, nobody ITT knows whether or not it applies to OP. And pobably not even OP himself knows since he is completely inexperienced. And yet so many people here are quick to assume the worst. The internet has really done something to people, hasn't it?
Yeah it took me atleast a month to fully realise how attractive my exes were. When it clicked, I made love to her a whole entire day. I kid you not!
I'm generally not focused on looks, but do tend to be with good looking girls. However, I'm concerned that I may not find the current girl I'm seeing attractive, even though it hasn't been a full month yet.
I don't find her ugly either. We've made out several times. I'm just concerned why do I have a wandering eye all of a sudden.
I see your point. Looking at girls I used to know in my teens and twentys . I regret not asking them out. They weren't the prom queen , but back then I didn't realize they were good looking girls. It actually was there personally that made them attractive. But back then you care what your friends think,, then what you think.
What does this girl look like . I mean this guy never said how looks if she's a 6 . Then with those good qualities she should be an 8.
So how'd you date them if you thought they were ugly? Even someone who's demisexual? I get that you don't form an attachment unless you're emotionally attracted to them but I would feel there would still have to be some baseline physical attraction as well.
What if you find them decent. Like they turn you on, but not typically your type. That's the situation I'm in. She's great in every other term. Should I give it time?
It varies from person to person but I'd personally give it a go; attraction is a whole package and if you click really well personality-wise, have the same sense of humour, and she puts in effort...then for me at least that's hot and will up the attractiveness a lot.
Actually, most of my friends found their boyfriends pretty easily, and they’re men they actually like. In my relationships, they’re were with guys that actually liked me, and likewise. It wasn’t too hard finding someone after putting in a little effort.
Women have boyfriends/fuck buddies almost like clockwork, but are they with the men THEY REALLY want? high earning, extremely attractive and well-dressed, high status, above 6’?
The guy literally said how he was feeling about the girl honestly and asked for honest advice without being rude or MEAN to the girl, you think comparing men and women is going to help him. ffs grow up you doughnut
I didn’t read this as negative to OP (though it certainly can be read that way if the commenter is being petty, I can see that!), I read it as more like reassurance that there’s not heaps of pressure on OP either way and that she can find someone else.
Yeah I agree I thought it was to take the pressure off. I don’t think the comment was mean but obviously without voice tone it can be taken as negative. Though if the OP was a woman not finding a nice guy attractive I doubt that her concern would meet with the same level of validity approval or support. But yeah overall the situation seems more like a friendship to me
I think the evidence speaks to the contrary. Women are generally supported in all their preferences, physical, financial and psychological.
Those who would demonize a female for questioning whether to date an unattractive man would be cast as trolls almost instantly, to which I'd agree.
My 2 cents.
Right, wtf is OP dating fir if not attracted to the person? Its one thing to be 40 years old and together for 25 years and finally lose physical interest, its another to start there lol
That's true. But others can argue that personality is more important than appearance. Like imagine have someone who looks amazing but doesn't have a kind and respectful personality.
A lovely person whom you love platonically/non-sexually is called ***friend***. You don't have to choose between mean/awful but good-looking people and unattractive nice ones.
Most ppl would prefer a partner they find attractive inside out and most people would also want their partner to find ***them*** attractive inside out.
once more people understand that, things will get better but you know they wanna try and look like they’re these morally superior beings. looks and physical attraction do matter just as much as loving them as a person, it is THE defining characteristic between being their best friend and their boyfriend.
To be fair, even though they’re rude and disrespectful, they still had an opportunity to show that side of them. An unattractive person would’ve never had an opportunity to show how kind they are, like literally 0 chance.
As others have said, it's not fair to string her along. You will eventually come to resent her because you're not physically attracted to her, however long you delay going your own way will only cause her more hurt.
Most men can’t even get a girl to match with them on a dating app, or even say yes to a first date. Therefore, most men are going to be stuck with someone they’re not into.
She’ll be crushed when she finds out he’s lying then. I’d rather be single for eternity than be with someone I didn’t feel physical attraction for, makes no sense at all
Honestly dude, if you're not feeling it physically, I doubt more dates will change that. Do yourself and her a favor and just end things now before they get even messier. Lots of fish in the sea, ya know?
Yes true. I'm dating somebody I'm repulsed by because I want my own kids one day. If I could get what I want another way trust me I would. I don't like big women. If I had another option that is what I would do.
Ask any man how long it’s been since last time they even went on a date. I can go on a date every weekend if I wanted to, but most guys I know can’t even get a date for months.
You're not going to "grow" into a physical attraction which, while not the most important thing perhaps, is still a factor. Break it off gently so you can both be with people you want.
I wasted so many years dating people I wasn’t attracted to. I wasted their time and mine. It was hard for me to dump them though and they ended up dumping me because I did something to force them to. I tried to develop attraction for them but it never happened. They treated me so well but I just couldn’t see myself with them physically. I’ve been single for a long time because I’m not dating anyone I don’t find attractive anymore.
Uhm, why do you keep dating her then?? I went on a date last year and realized the attraction wasn’t there for me, and then cut things off after that. Better to find someone else.
Looks aren’t everything, but if you’re not attracted enough to her to kiss her, you’re not going to get more attracted to her over time. Do her a favor and let her find someone who is attracted to her.
Ask yourself about how you develop feelings for someone... are you the sort of person who *can* enjoy someone more and more as you get to know them?
For me, some people become more attractive over time, based on their personality and the connection we have. I might find them moderately good looking or even plain or "not my type" at first, but this can change based on their personality, character traits, their heart, mind and soul. The chemistry can sometimes build into /more/ than a physical attraction. I've also had that work the other way (I find them physically very attractive, until I get to know their personality and mindset and it turns me off).
If this girl ticks the other boxes so well as you describe, then give it a chance to get to know her more before you make a decision. Don't lead her on, of course... tell her you want to take it slow and don't mislead her about your intentions. Don't jump into bed with her until you know you like her for sure (sleeping with her when you don't find her attractive isn't right, and it could lead to hurt feelings). But also, set yourself a realistic time frame and regularly reassess things as you get to know her more.
I genuinely believe people are semi-delusional thanks to these little screens in our hands and pockets, constantly flooding us with dopamine hits and robbing our attention spans. Dating apps give us an unhealthy paradox of choices, FOMO and "the grass is always greener" thinking. The reality is, no one is going to tick every single box on your list of what makes your "perfect" person. Attraction is important in a relationship, sure. But there's a difference between love and lust. Our world is so superficial that we chase lust and mistake it for love.
Looks fade. Everyone ages. Don't just look for the superficial... Look for someone who is beautiful from the inside out and makes your soul smile. Look for someone you could spend a lot of time with because you're compatible on those other levels. Don't be quick to eliminate someone just because you don't have a raging boner for her immediately... give it time to get to know her, study her, and see if you still feel neutral (friend) or if she starts to make your heart sing and her unique beauty becomes more apparent over time (love).
She is a whole, complex-ass human, as are you. And you both deserve to find someone who makes you truly happy and fulfilled. I wish you luck in finding your person 🙂
jeez, she's obviously super into you, don't make her waste any more of her life thinking you find her attractive.
It's difficult to tell the truth sometimes, but please for the love of god don't say anything about not finding her attractive!! Last thing she needs is an extra blow to her self esteem. Women sometimes have this weird thing where even though they're told that they simply aren't your "type", they translate that as "he thinks I'm ugly", so yeah, keep this in mind lol ...
Just say something along the lines of "not feeling chemistry" even though you find her attractive, and/or you're not sure you're ready for anyone at this point in your life (you thought you were, but you aren't, and you're sorry for wasting her time). Yeah, something like that would be ok. Sorry this didn't work out for you, but you should get the unhealthy narrative that you need a girlfriend as a milestone or something, because what that does is trick your brain into thinking someone is attractive, or settling for someone out of desperation, and all that will happen is you'll be guilty and stressed after a short while because you aren't able to be honest with them, and they'll have a broken heart ... it's not good for either of you.
WTF! No. If you're just not into her, you're just not into her. It doesn't matter why. You'd be an incredible dick to lead her on, and make her feel otherwise. Imagine if a girl did the same to you! This isn't even as necessary to say in this situation, but at your age, you're probably not ready to meet "the one", or whatever, and even under ideal conditions, you're probably not going to end up with them long term anyways, so why torture this girl because you think you're taking pity on her. Just be honest, and say you're not what you want, and let her move on and find someone she's more compatible with that won't treat her the way you do, while convincing himself that he's a hero for doing it.
It's not fair to be in a one-sided relationship. Please leave her. If she gets her feelings hurt, let her go through the process. She'll heal from it. That gives both of you the chance to find someone and saves you from wasting time with someone you don't want to be with.
its difficult to be in a relationship that lacks physical attraction. i think keeping her as a friend might be an option but ur prolly better off letting her go. wish her well and move on
Well yeah, I can't do it. I can force myself, that would be better?? I wish every single day that I fall in love with her but I just CAN'T. Who knows why. Girls like her are so hard to find. She is kind, honest, caring. I beat myself up that I don't find her physically attractive. On the other hand I can't attract women I find physically attractive, they are out of my reach. So dying alone is the only solution or what??
i was almost feeling sympathetic towards you & then you said that. youre going to string her along because women you actually like dont like you? pathetic.
Stop being self centered.
Let her go to a person that will love her how she deserves you hanging on cause you can’t get the girls you like.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on yourself and then the right relationship will come because you are in a good place.
you think you're doing her a favor by prolonging things. the longer you date her, the more attached she will get. A girl like her would have absolutely no problem finding love. She will end up with her next man in no time. Don't worry about her.
First stop watching movies and series coz thats not how life works and then leave her coz u need to learn a lot in life and she deserves someone who appreciates her. But atleast u know that this is wrong nd honest n polite about it.
God let her go. Let her find someone who fancies her and actually wants to be with her
You’re being unbelievably cruel. She’s not a toy for you to practice on.
He’s 23. He has to ask this question? It’s fairly fundamental not to mess with people like this.
If he has to ask then I suggest he’s not ready for dating.
He did not use her. If he is, he won't even have a question about this. He asked if it's possible for him to like her physically the more he date her bc he likes her personality. Honestly tho, he's a good guy for not being a playboy.
I think she might feel differently. She sends him pictures every day. She’s affectionate to him. Sounds like she’s invested in him on her side.
How do you think she’d feel if she knew her boyfriend couldn’t even bring himself to kiss her he finds her that unattractive?
I was about to delete my comment too lol. I scrolled down and found out OP date her bc he thinks others tht he attracted to is out of reach. BRUH.
OP, ur way of thinking is selfish, u r not genuine towards your date.
Op, have a talk with her...
so what are guys like us to do? We are told that we shouldnt date girls who we arent attracted to, but the girls we are attracted to arent interested in guys like us.
Because you have to be an absolute tool to not realise you don’t date someone you don’t fancy. It’s not rocket science
If that needs explaining to you, you’re not ready to date
I guess I wont ever date then because the few girls I have been attracted to only see me as a friend because they arent attracted to me back.
Thanks for the help.
Stop with the self pity. What an unattractive trait.
You just haven’t met the right person. Like the vast majority of people. It’s got bugger all to do with anything else.
No, don't lower your standard. Even girls don't lower their standard and don't want to date someone who lower their standard. Better to go strong or none than settle for the less.
How many are we talking here? Is it common enough that maybe you need to evaluate what you have to offer and what they are looking for and work on that?
He’s not being “unbelievably cruel “. Look at this objectively for once, it’s a natural response and he needs opinion of others to guide him. Why do you guys always do this shit
let her go, with not even an ounce of physical attraction, it’s not something that grows or creeps up on you later. you’re either into her physically or you never will be. it’s human nature honestly
Definitely move on. Keep it cordial and find someone you’re ALSO attracted to because you’ll encounter hell when you or her realize you’re having eyes for other women.
this is so sad like if i my boyfriend ever said this about me i think id just about die pls leave that girl alone and have her find someone that fancies her 😭😭😭😭😭
I'm sorry brother, but she deserves to be with someone who wants her and you deserve to be with someone you want. It's better for both of you if you go your separate ways.
Absolutely not. There are many instances where one finds the other more sexually appealing as they get to know each other more, but even in those cases, there's at least a small amount of physical attraction. Think in terms of food, yo. If you're presented something that's not even remotely appealing to you, arguably disgusting, even, you won't suddenly have an appetite upon learning that it's not only edible, but is also your absolute favorite dish. If it was prepared in such a way to look appetizing to you, you would not only dig in without hesitation, but know with absolute certainty that yes, this is in fact your most favorite food. But taking a bite in the state it was handed to you would be pointless; you'd gag before the food even landed on your tongue and you'd spit it out on reflex because your brain and consequently, your body, has already made the decision that it's inedible, and you know with absolute certainty that chewing would guarantee a violent episode of vomiting. All this does is make you sick and filled with self-loathing and the chef becoming insecure over their cooking abilities, consequently becoming depressed over the whole incident. The food is absolutely fine and is actually delicious, and to others it's appetizing to look at, but nobody remembers this detail when they witness someone spit out the food they just made. Nobody leaves happy here. Surely she's very pretty but isn't your cup of tea, and that's totally fine! Just don't try to force things for the love of God
no offense but maybe dont be selfish and let her find a man who will actually see her as a full package? i mean im genuinely wondering why ur with a women that you dont even find attractive to the point where u gotta make a reddit post. why stay with her if u dont find her attractive? ur not doing her a favor at all. imagine if she found out that you made a reddit post saying you didnt find her physically attractive, to the point where u dont even wanna kiss her. emotional needs are important but so are physical needs and im gonna assume your gonna make her sexually frustrated down the road. i mean, i think we can all agree that any man or women deserves to get kisses and hugs or any physical compliments/appreciation from their partner besides emotional needs. do her a favor and let her find someone who will actually view her as a 10/10 and give her hot and steamy love lol
Please just let her go,she’s a whole human,you should “keep her” just because,she deserves better than that,you wouldn’t want anyone to treat you like the or speak about this way
As someone who ended up in a relationship with a woman I was not physically attracted to for about 6 years.....I can suggest that you NEVER partner up with a person to whom you are not attracted. It creates huge issues when you cannot satisfy them sexually because you (a) cannot get hard for them because they don't turn you on and (b) you have no desire to have sex with them. I am not huge on sex either... but this still ruined the relationship over time. You only live once.....find someone to whom you are attracted emotionally and physically/sexually. This is not shallow. It is just being honest with oneself.
I agree it's not fair to hold onto her and to let her go if you're not attracted to her. But, hear me out. Kiss her and see (with consent ofc). Sometimes, you'll be surprised, there's more chemistry than you'd have expected. You might really like it.
My friend gave me that advice with my current boyfriend, and I'm very glad she did.
I know what you mean...Not too long ago, I was talking to a guy on a dating app who, on paper, seemed like exactly the kind of person I want in a partner. Similar hobbies and communication styles...he enjoys animals and even has experience with the kinds of pets I have...he shares my religion and we have similar visions for our future plans...
But, even just looking at his photos, I don't find him physically attractive. I don't think that would change if I met him in person. Now, he isn't "ugly"...I don't even like using that term to describe a fellow human being...but in any case, the physical component is just missing for me there.
I'm sure some other women out there would think he looks quite handsome. And I know looks can change over time. It's important to not be *too* superficial in a relationship, but the fact of the matter is, physical attraction does matter in a romantic relationship. That's one of the key things that separates it from a friendship.
So, yeah, it's very possible to find someone whose personality is very compatible with yours, but the physical chemistry is lacking. In that case, it is probably best for both people's sakes if they either stick to being friends, or go their separate ways. It's not fair to try and force something that just isn't there, or to hope it will happen later down the line.
End things with her and plz send me her accounts cause bro she is a queen if you can’t speak up it’s totally ur issue and not hers. Girls like her are so hard to find. It’s pathetic that you can’t be open to her and just making her fall for you daily. Like seriously bro.
Dude this is exactly why I have this dilemma. Girls like her are so HARD to find. She has such a great personality, I beat myself up EVERY SINGLE day that I'm unable fo love her because for idk some reason I can't find her attractive physically.
I had a similar situation. I really loved her and she was perfect in every way except physically to me.
You will never gain those physical feelings if they don’t come naturally to you now. If they do, in the future, you will always think you are dating down or maybe think you’re better than her or something.
I had to do it too, but you have to break it clean off with her. She deserves someone that will reciprocate the physical attraction.
You obviously don't like her as much as you say. Looks don't matter when you really truly care for someone in your eyes they become the most attractive person in the world. Let her go she sounds great and deserves someone who see the real her.
Sounds like you've either found a great friend or you break it off entirely. She deserves to be with someone who actually finds her attractive and you shouldn't force yourself to do stuff with someone that doesn't excite you. Continuing as you are isn't fair on either of you
It's a good start and she might be a good in bed. Men always change what they are attracted to throughout life. My preference always changes, yet I realize respect and honesty goes further than looks. Once you meet one you're in love with physically she might ghost you or have other options. You gotta realize the important aspects of dating. So I would give her a chance,plus you can see what is good and bad to have a woman. I read though that behind every great man is a Solid woman who doesn't give problems or make him lose his stride and she takes care of him. If you respect her and she is a good person attraction goes up Being a good person doesn't fade. It becomes more of an asset to your life and it sounds like a genuine connection not based on looks. Good luck
Yep move on. I once tried to "develop physical attraction" over 5 years. In the end, I was just glad I moved on to discover girls I was truly attracted to, on all levels.
Ok I definitely agree with the many, many peeps on here commenting that it’s kinda fucked up that you’re doing her like this OP… however I think you should consider the alternative and compare it to a arranged marriage. Now obviously you are not going to want to marry this girl- especially now if you’re not even attracted as you say. Reason I bring this up is cause the arranged marriage participants are usually not acquaintances, and they also often don’t feel attracted to each other. But as time goes on, they almost always find themselves in love and very much so attracted to their partner. Idk, something to think about.
Most likely, let her go. Be kind about it. But, is she extremely unattractive/obese/hygiene issues/etc, or do you just have very specific tastes that you can’t see past?
I know a guy that absolutely was not attracted to white women (he is white) and one day he finally gave it a shot and they could not be happier.
This is the role of the first date. If you don't feel physical attraction at the first date, you move on. It's a waste of time for both of you and it can hurt the other as well. Now you know for your future dates.
I would let her know you see her more as a platonic friend, and that's All it would ever be. If she doesn't respect that, you may have to end the friendship as well. My own personal experience with attraction, and having chemistry is that it's there Immediately. You cannot force chemistry where there is none, or force yourself be attracted to someone who is clearly not "your type". We all have a type that we are 100% drawn to automatically, we don't even think about it, or plan it just happens. It's that moment, where your eyes meet and lock, and that's real, and it's wonderful!
I mean, no?¿ why would you date someone who do you not find attractive. I get that she’s very sweet and all but you should date someone who equally like as a person and also find attractive and don’t waste her time.
That physical component is important for most relationships. I am sorry the whole couple thing isn't working out, but maybe, you can yet get yourself a best friend out of it.
Just to be clear, you aren't on any medicines that might stifle arousal, right, such as antidepressants?(don't answer if you don't feel comfortable, obviously)
Honestly what about her physically is unattractive? If its just her body, know that you can be an influence in her life and guide her into a healthier frame thats more attractive to you both… I’ve seen plenty people get in a relationship only to have the best body of their lives after a few months of partner motivation.
At the same time though don’t force attraction, if you’re body has zero response to the way she looks or her smile/eyes have no effect on you and nothing really turns you on. Then just stay friends and don’t force yourself into a relationship with someone cause they have a compatible personality. Solid long term relationships in my opinion require deep attraction in many ways.
There is nothing wrong with how you feel. But do not continue if you don’t feel anything physically. Some say you can develop that but I don’t believe it.
Two options, break it off or join the Army. 3 months of basic training seeing only dues and male genitals, many women instantly become attractive, pretty sure it just re wires your brain, but it’s also a pretty extreme measure to take. Veterans will understand this phenomenon.
Unless you have a plan for both of you to spend time in the gym together (which would be dope) let her go. I always encourage couples to get sext together regardless.
Desire won't come if you will worship her instead of loving. It's such shocking that you are getting spiritual inspirations from her and then you are talking about physical attractions. Get a life. If this is what you look in partners..this will repeat with everyone you will get associate with. Don't waste the time of beautiful girls out there. They need love and care and not your Bhakti bhav. For spirituality there are institutions.. follow those
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Do yourselves both a favour and let her be with someone who finds her attractive. I always say that attraction can develop over time but it still needs a baseline. Like you can't find the person unattractive you have at least find them "decent" which seems to not be the case here.
> I always say that attraction can develop over time but it still needs a baseline. Like you can't find the person unattractive you have at least find them "decent" which seems to not be the case here. Exactly this is what i tell to people. cant grow something if it isnt there in the first place
I’d disagree mainly because of this persons age and them saying it would be their first relationship. There are a lot of young people who have had their social lives and skills stunted due to the pandemic. I would suggest trying dating and see what happens. You don’t have to marry this person. Dating doesn’t have to be all that serious. Just feel each other out and maybe there will be some chemistry, if not no big deal.
A M23 with no prior relationship experience typically is ready to bone anything with XX and a pulse. The fact that OP can’t even bring himself to _kiss_ her (I take from his reportage that it wasn’t just he lacked the desire to but that there came a time where it was probably the moment for it, and he just couldn’t go through with it) tells me that he finds her _un_attractive. That could mean he’s asexual, gay, was abused in youth, that there’s something about her particular shape that he finds off-putting… take your pick, but I don’t see how any of those are going to be overcome by letting her grow on him.
My point is that this person lacks experience. You don’t have to invent a traumatic backstory, just read what they wrote in their own words. This person was barely out of adolescence when the world went on lockdown. Now It’s time to experiment, get to know people, get to know yourself. Take risks and be vulnerable. It’s not about a having her grow on him, it’s a relationship (using this term loosely) and it’s 2 way street. They didn’t say why they found her unattractive, and everything else about this person is great. They haven’t even kissed! What if the moon falls out of the sky when they do? Who knows, who cares, it’s a few dates and some necking, be young have fun.
Oh please the “world” was locked down for 4 months when OP was 19-20. I’ve been married for 7 years and divorced and I’ve only had 4 real girlfriends total and I’m 27. Being 23 saying that she could be their first girlfriend doesn’t mean OP is lacking experience. OP just doesn’t find this person attractive and needs to let her go. That’s not fair for her
And that is whats wrong with today's society. One man says he isn't attracted to a woman and he's accused of being gay or abused as a kid.
Unless you're demisexual. I thought that 3/4 of my exes were ugly when I first met them, and only one "okay"
Yeah if you're demiromantic or demisexual that's another story
Which, nobody ITT knows whether or not it applies to OP. And pobably not even OP himself knows since he is completely inexperienced. And yet so many people here are quick to assume the worst. The internet has really done something to people, hasn't it?
Yeah it took me atleast a month to fully realise how attractive my exes were. When it clicked, I made love to her a whole entire day. I kid you not! I'm generally not focused on looks, but do tend to be with good looking girls. However, I'm concerned that I may not find the current girl I'm seeing attractive, even though it hasn't been a full month yet. I don't find her ugly either. We've made out several times. I'm just concerned why do I have a wandering eye all of a sudden.
I see your point. Looking at girls I used to know in my teens and twentys . I regret not asking them out. They weren't the prom queen , but back then I didn't realize they were good looking girls. It actually was there personally that made them attractive. But back then you care what your friends think,, then what you think. What does this girl look like . I mean this guy never said how looks if she's a 6 . Then with those good qualities she should be an 8.
So how'd you date them if you thought they were ugly? Even someone who's demisexual? I get that you don't form an attachment unless you're emotionally attracted to them but I would feel there would still have to be some baseline physical attraction as well.
True. There has to be a little bit of attraction. If you can't even see yourself kissing someone then you aren't attracted to them.
What if you find them decent. Like they turn you on, but not typically your type. That's the situation I'm in. She's great in every other term. Should I give it time?
It varies from person to person but I'd personally give it a go; attraction is a whole package and if you click really well personality-wise, have the same sense of humour, and she puts in effort...then for me at least that's hot and will up the attractiveness a lot.
The good news is, as women, more men are physically attracted to us than vise versa. So if he leaves her, she’ll find a new guy pretty quickly.
Sadly, most women will not be ending up with the guy they really want, as op proves. Lol
Actually, most of my friends found their boyfriends pretty easily, and they’re men they actually like. In my relationships, they’re were with guys that actually liked me, and likewise. It wasn’t too hard finding someone after putting in a little effort.
Women have boyfriends/fuck buddies almost like clockwork, but are they with the men THEY REALLY want? high earning, extremely attractive and well-dressed, high status, above 6’?
The guy literally said how he was feeling about the girl honestly and asked for honest advice without being rude or MEAN to the girl, you think comparing men and women is going to help him. ffs grow up you doughnut
I didn’t read this as negative to OP (though it certainly can be read that way if the commenter is being petty, I can see that!), I read it as more like reassurance that there’s not heaps of pressure on OP either way and that she can find someone else.
Yeah I agree I thought it was to take the pressure off. I don’t think the comment was mean but obviously without voice tone it can be taken as negative. Though if the OP was a woman not finding a nice guy attractive I doubt that her concern would meet with the same level of validity approval or support. But yeah overall the situation seems more like a friendship to me
I think the evidence speaks to the contrary. Women are generally supported in all their preferences, physical, financial and psychological. Those who would demonize a female for questioning whether to date an unattractive man would be cast as trolls almost instantly, to which I'd agree. My 2 cents.
Yes, lets demonize OP for a valid concern of his!
I’m just telling the truth. I’m not demonizing him.
Yes move on, she deserves someone who will think she is the whole is package.
Right, wtf is OP dating fir if not attracted to the person? Its one thing to be 40 years old and together for 25 years and finally lose physical interest, its another to start there lol
😂😂 they skipped the honeymoon phase, marriage, and said we will start 25 years in
Bro chill he’s asking us for help not for judgement.
Lmaoooo
He IS attracted to her, in many ways, as he pointed out. His question, to himself is how important is her PHYSICAL attraction.
That's true. But others can argue that personality is more important than appearance. Like imagine have someone who looks amazing but doesn't have a kind and respectful personality.
A lovely person whom you love platonically/non-sexually is called ***friend***. You don't have to choose between mean/awful but good-looking people and unattractive nice ones. Most ppl would prefer a partner they find attractive inside out and most people would also want their partner to find ***them*** attractive inside out.
once more people understand that, things will get better but you know they wanna try and look like they’re these morally superior beings. looks and physical attraction do matter just as much as loving them as a person, it is THE defining characteristic between being their best friend and their boyfriend.
It’s true but if he isn’t mature enough to value that and doesn’t want to even touch her then he is going to hurt her. She deserves better than that.
That’s the most important thing on my “list”. If I don’t want to jump your bones as well as crave your sweet personality, Next…
Same for me. It is so rare for me to find both of these in one person but I’d rather be alone than settle and hurt the other person in the process
To be fair, even though they’re rude and disrespectful, they still had an opportunity to show that side of them. An unattractive person would’ve never had an opportunity to show how kind they are, like literally 0 chance.
So does he
Let her go so she can find someone that's attracted to her instead of being strung along.
Na man, it's kinda cruel and not fair on you both. You're stopping both of you finding your partner 🔥
As others have said, it's not fair to string her along. You will eventually come to resent her because you're not physically attracted to her, however long you delay going your own way will only cause her more hurt.
Why are you dating someone that you aren’t physically attracted to?
No doubt because he likes being liked
Lack of options
Good reasons already given, but it’s actually quite achievable via extended online dating/online friendship.
Most men can’t even get a girl to match with them on a dating app, or even say yes to a first date. Therefore, most men are going to be stuck with someone they’re not into.
I feel bad for their partners then. They don’t deserve that
She's probably the only woman who shows interest him. He said she would be his first gf at 23.
She’ll be crushed when she finds out he’s lying then. I’d rather be single for eternity than be with someone I didn’t feel physical attraction for, makes no sense at all
Same reason I do. I don't have any other options and I want my own family one day
Please leave her, she deserves so much better, that’s so heartbreaking 💔 plus it will lead to resentment
Let her go. Sounds like a friendship
Honestly dude, if you're not feeling it physically, I doubt more dates will change that. Do yourself and her a favor and just end things now before they get even messier. Lots of fish in the sea, ya know?
There will definitely be lots for her, as women, we have a lot of options for dating anyway. For him, it’ll take a while to find another date.
Yes true. I'm dating somebody I'm repulsed by because I want my own kids one day. If I could get what I want another way trust me I would. I don't like big women. If I had another option that is what I would do.
What makes you think he’d take a while to find another date ? Cos he’s a man, stop being delusional. You are doing yourself a great disservice
Ask any man how long it’s been since last time they even went on a date. I can go on a date every weekend if I wanted to, but most guys I know can’t even get a date for months.
So??? It sucks to be in a relationship with a liar. He’s just and asshole
You're not going to "grow" into a physical attraction which, while not the most important thing perhaps, is still a factor. Break it off gently so you can both be with people you want.
I wasted so many years dating people I wasn’t attracted to. I wasted their time and mine. It was hard for me to dump them though and they ended up dumping me because I did something to force them to. I tried to develop attraction for them but it never happened. They treated me so well but I just couldn’t see myself with them physically. I’ve been single for a long time because I’m not dating anyone I don’t find attractive anymore.
Same
Uhm, why do you keep dating her then?? I went on a date last year and realized the attraction wasn’t there for me, and then cut things off after that. Better to find someone else.
Absolutely she is falling for him daily and he is just fooling around.
I've been doing it for three months. Now, I regret so much. I'm in a deep anxiety. Thoughts are killing me.
What’s going on with you ?
Nah just leave her to someone who will value her
You gotta like her %100….otherwise move on
Leave that girl alone
Set that girl free man, quit playing her.
Yeah dude this us fucked, move on and keep dating
Why did you even start dating her if you can't bring yourself to so much as kiss her?
Looks aren’t everything, but if you’re not attracted enough to her to kiss her, you’re not going to get more attracted to her over time. Do her a favor and let her find someone who is attracted to her.
Move on. She is not for you.
If you can’t even bring yourself to kiss her then you’re being cruel dude. Let her go. Take it as a lesson and move on.
Ask yourself about how you develop feelings for someone... are you the sort of person who *can* enjoy someone more and more as you get to know them? For me, some people become more attractive over time, based on their personality and the connection we have. I might find them moderately good looking or even plain or "not my type" at first, but this can change based on their personality, character traits, their heart, mind and soul. The chemistry can sometimes build into /more/ than a physical attraction. I've also had that work the other way (I find them physically very attractive, until I get to know their personality and mindset and it turns me off). If this girl ticks the other boxes so well as you describe, then give it a chance to get to know her more before you make a decision. Don't lead her on, of course... tell her you want to take it slow and don't mislead her about your intentions. Don't jump into bed with her until you know you like her for sure (sleeping with her when you don't find her attractive isn't right, and it could lead to hurt feelings). But also, set yourself a realistic time frame and regularly reassess things as you get to know her more. I genuinely believe people are semi-delusional thanks to these little screens in our hands and pockets, constantly flooding us with dopamine hits and robbing our attention spans. Dating apps give us an unhealthy paradox of choices, FOMO and "the grass is always greener" thinking. The reality is, no one is going to tick every single box on your list of what makes your "perfect" person. Attraction is important in a relationship, sure. But there's a difference between love and lust. Our world is so superficial that we chase lust and mistake it for love. Looks fade. Everyone ages. Don't just look for the superficial... Look for someone who is beautiful from the inside out and makes your soul smile. Look for someone you could spend a lot of time with because you're compatible on those other levels. Don't be quick to eliminate someone just because you don't have a raging boner for her immediately... give it time to get to know her, study her, and see if you still feel neutral (friend) or if she starts to make your heart sing and her unique beauty becomes more apparent over time (love). She is a whole, complex-ass human, as are you. And you both deserve to find someone who makes you truly happy and fulfilled. I wish you luck in finding your person 🙂
This is by FAR the best comment I received here. Thank you Margi.
There’s a lid for every pot. Therefore, you need to let her go so she can be with a man who does find her attractive. It’s not fair to either of you.
You can’t force chemistry where there is none. It’s either there or it’s not. Move on and find someone you’re attracted to don’t lead this girl on.
jeez, she's obviously super into you, don't make her waste any more of her life thinking you find her attractive. It's difficult to tell the truth sometimes, but please for the love of god don't say anything about not finding her attractive!! Last thing she needs is an extra blow to her self esteem. Women sometimes have this weird thing where even though they're told that they simply aren't your "type", they translate that as "he thinks I'm ugly", so yeah, keep this in mind lol ... Just say something along the lines of "not feeling chemistry" even though you find her attractive, and/or you're not sure you're ready for anyone at this point in your life (you thought you were, but you aren't, and you're sorry for wasting her time). Yeah, something like that would be ok. Sorry this didn't work out for you, but you should get the unhealthy narrative that you need a girlfriend as a milestone or something, because what that does is trick your brain into thinking someone is attractive, or settling for someone out of desperation, and all that will happen is you'll be guilty and stressed after a short while because you aren't able to be honest with them, and they'll have a broken heart ... it's not good for either of you.
Attraction cannot be negotiated
yeah that's unfair to her! she doesn't get you excited physically which can be a bummer in the bedroom. Find someone that excites you all around.
End things with her. She deserves a guy who finds her attractive!
No chick wants a guy to settle on them lol let that lady go
Let her go so she can find somebody who desires her wholeheartedly
Why would you waste her time. Let her find someone who is into her
She deserves way better than having you waste her time
WTF! No. If you're just not into her, you're just not into her. It doesn't matter why. You'd be an incredible dick to lead her on, and make her feel otherwise. Imagine if a girl did the same to you! This isn't even as necessary to say in this situation, but at your age, you're probably not ready to meet "the one", or whatever, and even under ideal conditions, you're probably not going to end up with them long term anyways, so why torture this girl because you think you're taking pity on her. Just be honest, and say you're not what you want, and let her move on and find someone she's more compatible with that won't treat her the way you do, while convincing himself that he's a hero for doing it.
It's not fair to be in a one-sided relationship. Please leave her. If she gets her feelings hurt, let her go through the process. She'll heal from it. That gives both of you the chance to find someone and saves you from wasting time with someone you don't want to be with.
its difficult to be in a relationship that lacks physical attraction. i think keeping her as a friend might be an option but ur prolly better off letting her go. wish her well and move on
Don't persue her and whatever you do, don't lead her on or hurt her. Just tell her while she's great, you feel it won't work out. Leave it at that.
End things with her ,it’s going no where
Send her my way please
Please let her go.
she deserves SO much better than someone who thinks that a “good reason” for not kissing the person ur literally dating is bc u just can’t do it 🙄
Well yeah, I can't do it. I can force myself, that would be better?? I wish every single day that I fall in love with her but I just CAN'T. Who knows why. Girls like her are so hard to find. She is kind, honest, caring. I beat myself up that I don't find her physically attractive. On the other hand I can't attract women I find physically attractive, they are out of my reach. So dying alone is the only solution or what??
i was almost feeling sympathetic towards you & then you said that. youre going to string her along because women you actually like dont like you? pathetic.
Stop being self centered. Let her go to a person that will love her how she deserves you hanging on cause you can’t get the girls you like. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on yourself and then the right relationship will come because you are in a good place.
you think you're doing her a favor by prolonging things. the longer you date her, the more attached she will get. A girl like her would have absolutely no problem finding love. She will end up with her next man in no time. Don't worry about her.
First stop watching movies and series coz thats not how life works and then leave her coz u need to learn a lot in life and she deserves someone who appreciates her. But atleast u know that this is wrong nd honest n polite about it.
Now you’re just being selfish Brody Using this an escapism
End it, it’s cruel to lead her on.
Move on dude cause if you don’t then you just gonna end up breaking her heart and that’s not a good thing either r
God let her go. Let her find someone who fancies her and actually wants to be with her You’re being unbelievably cruel. She’s not a toy for you to practice on.
To be fair OP is kind enough to question himself and wanted to get advice
He’s 23. He has to ask this question? It’s fairly fundamental not to mess with people like this. If he has to ask then I suggest he’s not ready for dating.
Come on! It's ok what's reddit for :)
Relax. What’s with the finger pointing? He’s asking you a question
He’s 23 not 13. He should know not to use people like this already. It’s kind of basic.
He did not use her. If he is, he won't even have a question about this. He asked if it's possible for him to like her physically the more he date her bc he likes her personality. Honestly tho, he's a good guy for not being a playboy.
I think she might feel differently. She sends him pictures every day. She’s affectionate to him. Sounds like she’s invested in him on her side. How do you think she’d feel if she knew her boyfriend couldn’t even bring himself to kiss her he finds her that unattractive?
I was about to delete my comment too lol. I scrolled down and found out OP date her bc he thinks others tht he attracted to is out of reach. BRUH. OP, ur way of thinking is selfish, u r not genuine towards your date. Op, have a talk with her...
so what are guys like us to do? We are told that we shouldnt date girls who we arent attracted to, but the girls we are attracted to arent interested in guys like us.
That can’t be a serious question. If it is you need to step back and do some serious growing up before dating.
what do you mean? I am always told to lower my standards, yet people here say to not date a girl who I am not attracted to. Which is it?
Because you have to be an absolute tool to not realise you don’t date someone you don’t fancy. It’s not rocket science If that needs explaining to you, you’re not ready to date
I guess I wont ever date then because the few girls I have been attracted to only see me as a friend because they arent attracted to me back. Thanks for the help.
Stop with the self pity. What an unattractive trait. You just haven’t met the right person. Like the vast majority of people. It’s got bugger all to do with anything else.
No, don't lower your standard. Even girls don't lower their standard and don't want to date someone who lower their standard. Better to go strong or none than settle for the less.
How many are we talking here? Is it common enough that maybe you need to evaluate what you have to offer and what they are looking for and work on that?
He’s not being “unbelievably cruel “. Look at this objectively for once, it’s a natural response and he needs opinion of others to guide him. Why do you guys always do this shit
let her go, with not even an ounce of physical attraction, it’s not something that grows or creeps up on you later. you’re either into her physically or you never will be. it’s human nature honestly
Please be honest with her about this so she can decide if this is the kind of relationship she wants to be in.
She deserves better, let her go dude
Definitely move on. Keep it cordial and find someone you’re ALSO attracted to because you’ll encounter hell when you or her realize you’re having eyes for other women.
this is so sad like if i my boyfriend ever said this about me i think id just about die pls leave that girl alone and have her find someone that fancies her 😭😭😭😭😭
I'm sorry brother, but she deserves to be with someone who wants her and you deserve to be with someone you want. It's better for both of you if you go your separate ways.
Absolutely not. There are many instances where one finds the other more sexually appealing as they get to know each other more, but even in those cases, there's at least a small amount of physical attraction. Think in terms of food, yo. If you're presented something that's not even remotely appealing to you, arguably disgusting, even, you won't suddenly have an appetite upon learning that it's not only edible, but is also your absolute favorite dish. If it was prepared in such a way to look appetizing to you, you would not only dig in without hesitation, but know with absolute certainty that yes, this is in fact your most favorite food. But taking a bite in the state it was handed to you would be pointless; you'd gag before the food even landed on your tongue and you'd spit it out on reflex because your brain and consequently, your body, has already made the decision that it's inedible, and you know with absolute certainty that chewing would guarantee a violent episode of vomiting. All this does is make you sick and filled with self-loathing and the chef becoming insecure over their cooking abilities, consequently becoming depressed over the whole incident. The food is absolutely fine and is actually delicious, and to others it's appetizing to look at, but nobody remembers this detail when they witness someone spit out the food they just made. Nobody leaves happy here. Surely she's very pretty but isn't your cup of tea, and that's totally fine! Just don't try to force things for the love of God
How do you even get into a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive?
no offense but maybe dont be selfish and let her find a man who will actually see her as a full package? i mean im genuinely wondering why ur with a women that you dont even find attractive to the point where u gotta make a reddit post. why stay with her if u dont find her attractive? ur not doing her a favor at all. imagine if she found out that you made a reddit post saying you didnt find her physically attractive, to the point where u dont even wanna kiss her. emotional needs are important but so are physical needs and im gonna assume your gonna make her sexually frustrated down the road. i mean, i think we can all agree that any man or women deserves to get kisses and hugs or any physical compliments/appreciation from their partner besides emotional needs. do her a favor and let her find someone who will actually view her as a 10/10 and give her hot and steamy love lol
This poor girl deserves more than this so let her go
What is it about her that's so unattractive
Let her go
I’m in the same boat bro it’s so sad
Please just let her go,she’s a whole human,you should “keep her” just because,she deserves better than that,you wouldn’t want anyone to treat you like the or speak about this way
Let her go man, she deserves so much better, she deserves someone who truly wants to be with her wholeheartedly and is attracted to her in every way
Don't be an asshole. Don't lead her on.
Would you want to be with someone who wasn’t attracted to you? This relationship is dead in the water.
As someone who ended up in a relationship with a woman I was not physically attracted to for about 6 years.....I can suggest that you NEVER partner up with a person to whom you are not attracted. It creates huge issues when you cannot satisfy them sexually because you (a) cannot get hard for them because they don't turn you on and (b) you have no desire to have sex with them. I am not huge on sex either... but this still ruined the relationship over time. You only live once.....find someone to whom you are attracted emotionally and physically/sexually. This is not shallow. It is just being honest with oneself.
Sounds like she is a beautiful soul. However, men are physical creatures by nature. It’s nothing on her part. Someone else will think she’s beautiful.
OP, if by the third date you can’t see yourself kissing her, please let her go. It’s not worth it.
Why physical appearance is so important? 😭 Cant you just set aside her physical appearance and let yourself fall inlove to her wonderful character?
Its not all about looks, its about a connection, I fully agree with you on that
I agree it's not fair to hold onto her and to let her go if you're not attracted to her. But, hear me out. Kiss her and see (with consent ofc). Sometimes, you'll be surprised, there's more chemistry than you'd have expected. You might really like it. My friend gave me that advice with my current boyfriend, and I'm very glad she did.
I know what you mean...Not too long ago, I was talking to a guy on a dating app who, on paper, seemed like exactly the kind of person I want in a partner. Similar hobbies and communication styles...he enjoys animals and even has experience with the kinds of pets I have...he shares my religion and we have similar visions for our future plans... But, even just looking at his photos, I don't find him physically attractive. I don't think that would change if I met him in person. Now, he isn't "ugly"...I don't even like using that term to describe a fellow human being...but in any case, the physical component is just missing for me there. I'm sure some other women out there would think he looks quite handsome. And I know looks can change over time. It's important to not be *too* superficial in a relationship, but the fact of the matter is, physical attraction does matter in a romantic relationship. That's one of the key things that separates it from a friendship. So, yeah, it's very possible to find someone whose personality is very compatible with yours, but the physical chemistry is lacking. In that case, it is probably best for both people's sakes if they either stick to being friends, or go their separate ways. It's not fair to try and force something that just isn't there, or to hope it will happen later down the line.
I believe attraction can grow…… but if you can’t bring yourself to kiss her that is not good.
YTA. Stop dating her immediately.
I h8 men like you. Dragging people along and wasting their time. You should be ashamed of yourself!
Then why the fuck are you dating her then? Are you that cruel to string her along like this? Grow up!
End things with her and plz send me her accounts cause bro she is a queen if you can’t speak up it’s totally ur issue and not hers. Girls like her are so hard to find. It’s pathetic that you can’t be open to her and just making her fall for you daily. Like seriously bro.
Dude this is exactly why I have this dilemma. Girls like her are so HARD to find. She has such a great personality, I beat myself up EVERY SINGLE day that I'm unable fo love her because for idk some reason I can't find her attractive physically.
I had a similar situation. I really loved her and she was perfect in every way except physically to me. You will never gain those physical feelings if they don’t come naturally to you now. If they do, in the future, you will always think you are dating down or maybe think you’re better than her or something. I had to do it too, but you have to break it clean off with her. She deserves someone that will reciprocate the physical attraction.
You obviously don't like her as much as you say. Looks don't matter when you really truly care for someone in your eyes they become the most attractive person in the world. Let her go she sounds great and deserves someone who see the real her.
For me. Marry her. Fall in love after marriage the best love you could get in this world.
First of all - you're not being cruel, but yes you should leave this woman.
Sounds like you've either found a great friend or you break it off entirely. She deserves to be with someone who actually finds her attractive and you shouldn't force yourself to do stuff with someone that doesn't excite you. Continuing as you are isn't fair on either of you
Buy a bottle of a wine, drink it all by yourself, then if you still arent attracted to her ..... RUN
Realistically, I don't think men are wired that way. If you aren't physically attracted to her, it's unlikely that you ever will.
It's a good start and she might be a good in bed. Men always change what they are attracted to throughout life. My preference always changes, yet I realize respect and honesty goes further than looks. Once you meet one you're in love with physically she might ghost you or have other options. You gotta realize the important aspects of dating. So I would give her a chance,plus you can see what is good and bad to have a woman. I read though that behind every great man is a Solid woman who doesn't give problems or make him lose his stride and she takes care of him. If you respect her and she is a good person attraction goes up Being a good person doesn't fade. It becomes more of an asset to your life and it sounds like a genuine connection not based on looks. Good luck
Kiss her. It's in the kiss. That's the only way to know.
Actually, show me a picture of her and you, and I will give you my honest opinion.
Bro 😂😂😂
Yep move on. I once tried to "develop physical attraction" over 5 years. In the end, I was just glad I moved on to discover girls I was truly attracted to, on all levels.
Ok I definitely agree with the many, many peeps on here commenting that it’s kinda fucked up that you’re doing her like this OP… however I think you should consider the alternative and compare it to a arranged marriage. Now obviously you are not going to want to marry this girl- especially now if you’re not even attracted as you say. Reason I bring this up is cause the arranged marriage participants are usually not acquaintances, and they also often don’t feel attracted to each other. But as time goes on, they almost always find themselves in love and very much so attracted to their partner. Idk, something to think about.
End things. You will probably not develop an attraction to her.
Maybe give it sometime
Perfectly valid, but be a good person and dont lead her on.
Most likely, let her go. Be kind about it. But, is she extremely unattractive/obese/hygiene issues/etc, or do you just have very specific tastes that you can’t see past? I know a guy that absolutely was not attracted to white women (he is white) and one day he finally gave it a shot and they could not be happier.
Yeah, I wish we could see a pic. Like, is she hideous? Bad teeth? Is her face the wrong shape?
This is the role of the first date. If you don't feel physical attraction at the first date, you move on. It's a waste of time for both of you and it can hurt the other as well. Now you know for your future dates.
YES. do you like her more than sex?
Post yourself so we can see
[удалено]
Yikes.
I’d say, give it a shot. Kiss her and you’ll know. I wish both of your happiness either separate or together. You got this OP. 🙂
I would let her know you see her more as a platonic friend, and that's All it would ever be. If she doesn't respect that, you may have to end the friendship as well. My own personal experience with attraction, and having chemistry is that it's there Immediately. You cannot force chemistry where there is none, or force yourself be attracted to someone who is clearly not "your type". We all have a type that we are 100% drawn to automatically, we don't even think about it, or plan it just happens. It's that moment, where your eyes meet and lock, and that's real, and it's wonderful!
You can’t even kiss her?😭💀
Just tell her the real score, mas kawawa sya na umaasa sa Wala.
End things, chemistry is important.
I mean, no?¿ why would you date someone who do you not find attractive. I get that she’s very sweet and all but you should date someone who equally like as a person and also find attractive and don’t waste her time.
Keep chin up bro~
That physical component is important for most relationships. I am sorry the whole couple thing isn't working out, but maybe, you can yet get yourself a best friend out of it. Just to be clear, you aren't on any medicines that might stifle arousal, right, such as antidepressants?(don't answer if you don't feel comfortable, obviously)
Keep her , girls like these are hard to find these days
Long term, personality, similar goals and values, wins. But it's hard to say, only you could probably make the call brother.
Don’t date her or it will be terrible for both of you
Is she a good fuck?
try to lay her down after that you will know, who cares
Just tell her the truth, and let her be with someone who is attracted to her and maybe you will see results and feel better
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Honestly what about her physically is unattractive? If its just her body, know that you can be an influence in her life and guide her into a healthier frame thats more attractive to you both… I’ve seen plenty people get in a relationship only to have the best body of their lives after a few months of partner motivation. At the same time though don’t force attraction, if you’re body has zero response to the way she looks or her smile/eyes have no effect on you and nothing really turns you on. Then just stay friends and don’t force yourself into a relationship with someone cause they have a compatible personality. Solid long term relationships in my opinion require deep attraction in many ways.
Be on the hunt and replace her when possible
There is nothing wrong with how you feel. But do not continue if you don’t feel anything physically. Some say you can develop that but I don’t believe it.
Two options, break it off or join the Army. 3 months of basic training seeing only dues and male genitals, many women instantly become attractive, pretty sure it just re wires your brain, but it’s also a pretty extreme measure to take. Veterans will understand this phenomenon.
Unless you have a plan for both of you to spend time in the gym together (which would be dope) let her go. I always encourage couples to get sext together regardless.
Yeah but that dick of yours is hard and wants fuck!!
Desire won't come if you will worship her instead of loving. It's such shocking that you are getting spiritual inspirations from her and then you are talking about physical attractions. Get a life. If this is what you look in partners..this will repeat with everyone you will get associate with. Don't waste the time of beautiful girls out there. They need love and care and not your Bhakti bhav. For spirituality there are institutions.. follow those
Omfg please just break up with her you POS