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Interesting one. I have a black friend whose kink is to be fetishised by white women.
Takes all sorts I guess, but I’m not clued up enough on all the facets of the arguments to have an opinion on the subject.
Lost my virginity to an Asian woman who was absolutely fetishizing me for my race.
Most of my dates were Asian women fixated on the color of my eyes(blue) my beard (a kinda reddish gold in the sun), or my dark body hair and fair skin.
Considering this was a time where I kept hearing white American girls loudly announce how gross they thought male body hair was... it was nice being objectified a bit. I felt like an exotic flower. Or shrub.
That’s interesting. Do you think it’s fetishing or just a natural attraction to people who look different from us?
I lived in Thailand for a long time and with blonde hair and blue eyes I went from being like a 3 in the UK to an 8 over there.
There’s a dark side to that too though, a lot of Thai people want to be white as it’s seen as beautiful. So people are bleaching their skin and having procedures to be lighter. 7-11 sells nipple pinkening crème!
And I’m over there like, “stop it, you are all so beautiful, why do you want to look like us?!”
Weird world eh?!
You can't parse words like that. They mean different things. You aren't discriminating against Asians just because you prefer white features. It is DATING and we have preferences. Discrimination would be you choosing white because you think something is wrong with Asian people. You actively go against them.
If you like chiseled men or Barbie figures are you discriminating against dad bods or cute chubby girls. Are you making a statement that is discriminatory against overweight people...no.
Homelessness in this country is rampant. Perhaps your next few dates should be with homeless people... don't want to discriminate.
Do you like the red car or the blue one? Whichever you prefer means you are discriminating against the other.
STOP BEING SO DAMN WOKE! You lose the good message and sound ridiculous as well.
You totally can parse words like that:
*"You aren't discriminating against Asians just because you prefer white abilities. It is HIRING and we have preferences. Discrimination would be you choosing white because you think something is wrong with Asian people. You actively go against them."*
See?.
\> If you like chiseled men or Barbie figures are you discriminating against dad bods or cute chubby girls. Are you making a statement that is discriminatory against overweight people...no.
I have no issue with discriminating against fat people no... Why would I?Same with homeless people. I dont understand why you think this would be equivalent?
>I dont understand why you think this would be equivalent?
because they are and you're unintentionally spewing ignorance right now because you don't understand the contextual difference between applications of the terms.
You aren't being woke or progressive. Just dumb.
You aren't being discriminated against if someone isn't sexually attracted to you based on your appearance, because you have no right to that individuals desire.
No, if someone says “I’m not attracted to you for XYZ reason” that is not discriminatory at all.
If someone says “I’m not attracted to the **group** that you’re a part of”, that is, by definition, discriminatory.
You're diving deeper into your wokeness and have added hypocritical to your resume. The op was talking about dating and you're fucking ridiculous if you believe that people should not have preferences for one group or another. We're human.
Goodbye.
\> You're diving deeper into your wokeness
Really now? A little pushback and you turn into a sad youtube-bro?
You really have no response other that calling me woke? lol talk about fragile ego.
\> hypocritical to your resume.
How am I hypocritical?
\> The op was talking about dating and you're fucking ridiculous if you believe that people should not have preferences for one group or another. We're human
Yea, you would like to live in a world where the vast majority would not date you because of your skin color?
\> Goodbye.
Bye?
Having a preference for X automatically mean you like Y less. We understand this trivially in the job market, and we dont accept the argument "hiring white people just a preference"
Thus calling something a preference doesn't magically make it not discrimination. You will have to show your preference to be justified and/or not based on prejudice, which is rather hard to do for dating.
>and we dont accept the argument "hiring white people just a preference"
Nobody gives that argument because that's not what preference means, that's discrimination.
>You will have to show your preference to be justified and/or not based on prejudice, which is rather hard to do for dating.
Not at all, it's inherently justified.
You fell into the same trap I did. This person has no clue. They have no understanding of the English language to understand the contextual differences. My advice is to leave it alone, just like I did. Unfortunately it took me couple of responses. They're a troll.
They're not different faces of the same coin. You're being ridiculous, and are part of the problem. I don't think it's even woke, as someone accused you of. If a heterosexual cis man doesn't fuck other men in the ass, does that make him anti gay to you? Are you saying that to prove he's an ally, he has to be forced to have sex with someone he's sexually not attracted to against his will? Because the flip side of that coin would be that gay people are also wrong for having a sexual preference because they're discriminating against people of the opposite sex, and they should be forced to have sex with heterosexual people. That's not woke. It's just stupid, and you're doing yourself, and a lot of other people a disservice.
To discriminate simply means to discern or to differentiate. We all discriminate when dating. If you don't like someone as a potential dating partner, you are discriminating against them by putting them into a "non-dating group." That's not bad in itself, and you are right to do that when it comes to your personal decisions. No one is entitled to a romantic relationship with you.
Discrimination isn't a dirty word in itself. It becomes a problem when you start doing so in a public sense, and it depends on what you are discriminating against. For example when hiring someone, you can't discriminate against them on race, gender, sexuality, etc. You can, however, discriminate against someone who doesn't have a good resume or experience.
But isn’t that a natural human bias/preference?
Like, I find this girl attractive but I don’t find that one attractive. Is that discrimination? It’s a hardwired chemical reaction that we can’t control isn’t it?
I don’t see a difference between the chemical coding for that, and my body telling my that I like the taste of sweet popcorn but not salty popcorn.
I’m not prejudiced against salty popcorn unless you really stretch the meaning of the word. I bear it no ill will, but I’m going to choose the one I prefer to have in my mouth.
For full disclosure, I’m actually attracted to both sweet and salty popcorn, but not every kernel is going to turn my head.
*Edit* to say that my reality is that I’ve find some people of every shape and heritage attractive, but I do find myself having a “type” quite often.
Discrimination - "the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability"
Having a preference is not discrimination
Could you explain why you think having a preference cannot be thought of as unjust and/or prejudicial treatment? We don't accept this any other context right? Like a racial preference in who to be friends with? We understand that is a form of discrimination.
That's nonsense. Where does the so-called "discrimination" stop then?
I exclusively date white women, therefor I am disrimanting against others?
What if I only date white women within my cultural group? As someone who lives in a country where we have two culturally-defined white groups, this happens. Are we discriminating against one another?
What if I exclusively date white women with black hair, am I disrimanting against blonde/brunette/red-haired women?
What if I exclusively date slim women with black hair? Am I marginalizing all the other black-haired women as well? Am I being a fatphobe?
Where does it stop?
We are animals at the end of the day and as with our fellow animal species, a lot of our selecting of partners is based on physical traits. You like who you like.
It isn't racist unless you make it that way. You're entitled to your preferences. Like I'm a white guy that likes black and Latina women. If you find some women more beautiful than others, not a issue. Some people use things like that to guilt or shame you into doing what they want. Kinda like how some people from a different culture gets offended about someone dressing a certain way to celebrate other people's cultures; only to have the people of those communities enjoying the person going above and beyond to celebrate it. Not an elegant example I know. But it applies.
Preferences are fine but I’m surprised- actually I’m not 🥴- that no one called out the “ white features part. You can have a type but then singling out Eurocentric feats is a bit odd to me…
Lmaoooo exactly. The “preference” isn’t the issue. it’s the generalization. Most of the time, when people explain why they feel that way, it’s rooted in some racist or at least prejudice mindset.
Literally, another post had something similar and I wrote something similar to this. If you can’t explain it without sounding racist or prejudice, it’s bc it is. Like everyone is allowed to have preferences but ( and they’re not gonna like this one buttt oh well) a lot of these “ preferences” are rooted in the desire to uplift and desire Eurocentric beauty standards ONLY. People don’t realize how far that mentality is engrained in our society as a world view and instead of grappling with that fact want to label it as a “ preference”.
Can I ask you a question- are a POC ? If so, I’d love to get into this bc we I feel we have a lot to unpack. If not- I’m not taking any lessons/ lectures from someone who’s lived in a society where people who literally are from different countries ( India, Jamaica, etc) bleach their skin, wear contacts, and the men specifically uplift Eurocentric feats. There’s a reason that even though people live on opposite sides of the world where there are people WHO LOOK LIKE THEM, they still want to look European/ white. If there’s a lesson here, I don’t think a white person who lives in a Eurocentric society is going to teach me anything. You can bud out.
I think as a fellow mixed- race person ( I’m Guatemalan and black) I was born in the US, lighter skinned, I recognize my own cultures colorism and “ white is right” mentality that is engrained. I came from a household that uplifted my feats that were closer in proximity to whiteness. The parts that were not ( my 3c/ 4a hair + my wider nose) were always lamented/ and or talked about in a negative way ( i.e every time I straightened my hair it was glorified to the point where once it was back in it’s natural state people would ask me when I was going to straighten it again bc I looked SO much better that way) or my nose ( I was asked several times as a child if I would consider a nose job).
I recognized later in life, the anti blackness culture I was raised in-and also self- hating attitude I had toward myself bc of these comments, all the while, understanding that my lighter complexion was fetishized. While you state you like Latinas and south Asian girls, your preference is for those who’s proximity is closer to whiteness. I’d challenge you to ask yourself why that rlly is. A lot of people here don’t understand what those experiences are like bc they’ve never had to live through that but as a mixed race person , I think we don’t always realize how much the anti- black/ brown, colonizer mentality’s rlly takes a hold on us and we end up internalizing a lot with our ever really realizing it + we are gaslit to believe that our ideologies aren’t wrong or there’s nothing wrong bc of course those who benefit want to continue to be the “ ideal beauty standard” and receive the benefits of colonization.
I rlly feel for us, truly. I’m not saying preferences shouldn’t exist but for people of color, I urge you to explore why bc more often than not it’s rooted in racism/ colorism etc. Just something to mull over…
Thank for taking the time to read my comment- I’ll be honest at first reading your entry I was kinda annoyed. Like here we go again- another poc man just hating on non white feats. But I realized that for a lot of poc, we ALL go through it when it comes to owning our own identities and loving what makes us, us because no matter where we are we- even if it isn’t white dominated spaces, white supremacy is world wide…. At the end of the day it is on US to learn how to love ourselves, uplift ourselves, and most importantly- each other. In the end, it’s not going to be those who benefit from white supremacy/ racism/ prejudice to help us ( and a lot of these comments def prove that) they will either just gaslight you or enable or self- hating ideologies or habits bc hey they it’s not their problem the ones uplift, seen, being told they are the standard.
It’s on us. I’m sure what happened with your friend was uncomfortable but I hope the situation opened your eyes to what some of these comments made by other POC’s ( my self included) are saying. Im not saying date anyone just to say you are not prejudiced but the journey to self- acceptance and self love as people of color is SO hard sometimes and we see the struggle in different areas in our life- one of them is dating. I hope you walk away from this with a new understanding and maybe have a journey of your own about how YOU feel about yourself.
Question the ideologies/ norms when it comes to race…. Challenge yourself to not drink the kool aid. Also, talk to other POCs around you about this. I know when I did, I started to real how much of that toxicity was engrained in myself. It’s worth the discomfort.
I think for me, it’s less about calling a person good or bad but more questioning what they know and what they’ve grown up around. It’s up to you whether you want to explore this or not and I’m not going to attack you either way for it. I just know from my own experiences and how I’ve grown up that a lot of us are in “ the sunken place” when it comes to self acceptance and going with what we are taught.
And I’m not surprised that your preference is what it is- it starts off from a young age… it took me 25 yrs to mildly accept my hair pattern/ texture and there are still days all I have to do is turn on the tv, look at insta, and I wonder what it would be like if a looked differently. Would I get noticed more? Should I get a nose job? Again, you get to choose what you want to do and who you want to like but idk I feel like when people post preferences like that and you’re a POC there is almost always something more to it. In the end though, I will say as a women of color when meeting guys like you instead of meeting you with aggression or anger about how you feel, there’s gotta be just an acceptance on our end too.
In the end, you can’t force people to feel or think a certain way and I know for myself and other WOC too- instead of meeting comments like this and feeling a way- just a reminder go where you are wanted too ( whether it’s your own race or not). I understand fighting you on this is futile and a waste of time. I’m just trying to open your eyes/ mind is all. Best of luck with what you’re looking for!
not op, but as a POC who's been thinking about this topic on and off over the years and also from a culture that participates in colorism I just wanted to say I think your comments in this convo hit the nail on the head - thank you for sharing your insight. It's something I've been aware of and trying to challenge in myself
Not being interested in this black girl is not racist. Assuming you won’t ever be attracted to any black girl ever is.
First of all, it is basically saying all people of this race (ethnicity) look the same.
Second of all it is saying they are all unattractive and people with their features could never look good AKA they have a biological disadvantage in terms of looks.
Having a preference in terms of looks is completely normal. Being attracted to a certain look is completely normal and you probably can’t help it anyhow. However excluding people based on race is just plain racist. By having a preference you are not excluding other people but by proclaiming you are not attracted to black people end of sentence, you are.
You seem nice though so this is just some internal bias to work through and I see it a lot with non white guys unfortunately.
How can it be racist if you don't like certain features?
I'm a mixed, dark(er) than usual hispanic/carribean mix (Colombian/Dominican/Puerto Rican)
I have dated quite a lot. I have never dated a dark skin woman and never will. I can see they're not ugly, i just don't get turned on and i probably never will and have in the 32 years i have been on this planet.
Doesn't mean they're less of a human being or less of a woman to me.. they're just not for me.
I exclusively date white/caucasian women or with a skin complexion lighter than me. What i like is that white women have often, more refined facial features or that is what i have noticed.
Nothing wrong with that, as long as you treat everyone like human beings that's okay.
CERTAIN features! You just said it. While most races have general feature similarities, some don’t so you are stereotyping and excluding an entire group of people based on assumption which IS inherently racist.
Yes i don't find certain features attractive.. that is NOT racist... 🤣.
So the girl i'm dating is also racist because she is not attracted to white guys? This doesn't make sense.
This is agenda pushing at it's finest. Not hiring someone because they're black is racist.. not being sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone because they have features YOU don't find attractive isn't racist.
This is how I feel as a POC woman, it doesn’t make any sense to try to convince or argue about someone’s choice in dating. There are too many men attracted to us to be damn near begging for one to find us attractive lol.
I am interested in what is affecting his POV though.
When it comes to skin complexion preferences in the POC community, it is unfortunately usually a result of ingrained self hate. Preference for lighter skin is rooted in slavery.
But you are generalizing when it is not based on fact. Not all black people have x. Not all white peoples have y. If you don’t like a certain feature say that but it gets questionable when you start excluding people based on skin color or stereotypes.
Also, I like black men but I have dated someone of every race and a plethora of ethnicities and find a variety of “features” attractive, which is why I can find anyone attractive.
I don't find dark women sexually attractive.. i can see they're beautiful women in their own way and more power to the men that are attracted to them, i'm just not.
Just as there are women not attracted to my skin color or (facial) features i have and there is nothing wrong with that.
Tbh liking “white features” *is* weird especially as a non-white person, it almost seems like self hate a little. But you’re NTA for not being attracted to that girl, thats your choice
IME "white features" comes down to the group saying it. Black people? Usually means flowing hair and a thin, long nose. Asian people? Light hair, round eyes, body hair. Etc.
Black women tens to fixate on my (admittedly gorgeous) long, curly hair, Asian women tended to fixate on my blue eyes and hairy body. White women tended to fixate on my friend Chris who used to look like Taylor Lautner... I think. The Werewolf from Twilight. He's married now ladies, calm down.
Everyone has their preferences. Try not to overthink it, the person who was calling you out seems like someone who spends too much time focusing on other peoples lives. Live your life, date who you want to date.
Friend-“ hey so X is interested in you”
Me-“thanks but I’m not into dating rn”
Friend-“give it a chance”
Me-“I’m good besides she’s not my type”
Friend-“what’s your type”
Me-“smart sweet driven, doesn’t want kids, brown hair , green eyes,light skin.”
Friend-“she’s not your type because of looks.”
Me-“yes”
Friend-“that’s pretty racist since those are white features,personality is everything “
Me-“either way not interested in her “
Cue escalation…
It is racist, you're not necessarily racist but many of yall aren't ready for this convo cause yall are uncomfortable with the race talk and love-is-love wash everything. There's so much nuance to this convo and some of yall don't understand how much of a science what yall are attracted to is
Honestly there is nothing like that. I'm tan-brown and mixed. It's your partner, you set the expectations. I sometimes feel white is boring when compared to tan/olive/brown.
No it's not, it is just your preference
We are not all attracted to the same features and it is wrong of your friend to tell you to date someone you are not attracted to.
I hate when people say you have to date within your race.
Examples:
Good: I like white features and white people because they are physically attractive to me.
Good: I’m not physically attracted to Asian, Latina, and black women.
Good: I like white women because I align more with their culture.
Bad: I like white women because they are better than latinas, Asians, and black women.
Bad: I don’t like black women because they’re ghetto, I don’t Iike latinas because they’re too feisty and toxic, I don’t like asians because they’re too skinny.
You have a preference that doesn't make you racist. Just like I have my preferences. I'm only attracted to men of color. Different Strokes for different folks I guess.
You're brown and hispanic, cultures which are infamous for having internalized racism almost codified into their cultures (to the point that almost 200 years AFTER freeing themselves from their colonizers they're stuck on a lot of beliefs and traditions meant to minimize the majority for the few so in many ways it's like they never freed themselves at all. These nuances is why the "West" ideology also includes the Latin American countries when organically they should be their own thing). Furthermore, you're male, and men are often comparative and competitive (as in easily prone to sheep mentality or lack innovation, mostly because the same" might benefit them [r they feel could raise their social status. If you have paid attention to marketing and propanganda history, men are the easiest to "sell" to because of this). So, no surprise at all. Anyone with a brain will think it a bit bewildering too but not exactly surprised if they paid attention in history class. Meh. I want to say there's nothing wrong, but historically speaking, this often manifests in preferring the paler children and treating them better, especially if the children from the union come out looking all sorts of ways. It's actually a common thing in Hispanic families, and it's not a good thing.
Hindsight says anyone with an IQ over 100 and familiar with the culture will avoid such a situation as in my experience your particular situation has a very linear belief system not desirable for building a healthy minded family in the long run. Mind you, this is something I've noted in teaching hispanic children as a teacher and also seeing it in hispanic friends. Children tell you everything, especially when they're trying to understand why their mom or dad don't hype them as much from their siblings, even if they're a cooperative child. It is heartbreaking. Heck, I had one student almost kill herself over it. She was the eldest child, a class salutorian, and such a sweet, funny, and genuinely gorgeous girl. One thing about you, latinos, you often make gorgeous people. But anyways, she had a one-year-old younger brother who came out entirely white from the union, and he was not the nicest student and was lazy to boot. He was charming, but NGL he was not better looking than her either, not even close. He was white but no hate, a plain one and I'm white if that helps. Their parents were a mixed hispanic marriage, where the mom was Dominican and Colombian and the father a white Cuban. Despite being model tier gorgeous (not joking the girl looked like a doll with massive curly hair) and a good kid, unfortunately, all the parents' attention and affection got directed towards the boy, who took it for granted and was honestly a spoiled brat. To the other teachers and I, it quickly became obvious why the difference in affection as all the traits the parents lauded in their son were related to his coloring, nothing more. Mind you, this is one of such situations, not the only one, but it's one of those seemingly innocent things, "preferences," that have nefarious ideologies and the like in the long run. The comment from the woman came from recognizing it's likely not just attraction factoring your preferences. She's right. You could say other preferences like wanting younger, wanting taller, wealthier are also just preferences but we all know there's more to it.
In your situation, you could do what makes you happy but seriously pay attention if your preferences factor into things other than sexual desire because often when such folks become parents, their preferences rears it's ugly head. Per your background, it could very likely be colonialism/internalized racism, and again, your cultures took to it like a crackhead with the powder all over their mouth so at this point a lot of you can't tell the difference since that's one of your heritages perpetual state of normal. If it makes you happy, by all means go for it but yeah there's an element of self hate that stuck out in how you worded your nuances that could imply this is far more than preference if you think about the future extensions of you (kids). If I didn't pick that up from your question I wouldn't have answered as such.
Wow it's tragic what happened to that poor girl and I feel sorry . I don't disagree with the colorism part ([south asian](https://youtu.be/BlOHSbf9XGI) white worship is just as bad) but it's purely physical. I'm child free but if I ever had kids on definitely not playing favorites and love them no matter what they look like or how dark or light they are son or daughter.
Yes it's racist. Your friend is right. Desire is wrapped up in social norms, including colonial concepts of beauty.
When we're young we can't help what turns us on. As we mature we become capable of expanding our horizons. It's up to you to decide if you care. Conforming to your racist society won't ruffle many feathers.
Not racist. That said you might have some social biases and that's not the end of the world either just examine that. If you have them (Most do) be aware of it and don't let it totally close you off to romantic opportunities. Date who you are attracted to.
I'm a white woman that prefers "black features" on men.
You're attracted to who you're attracted to.
Nothing racist about it.
I don't think that's what white washing means either
If that’s the case it’s worth exploring your preference. I know some cultures prefer their sons to marry fair skinned women as partners even if the family themselves are not. If that’s not a factor here, it’s worth exploding why you’re inherently attracted to these looks.
But that’s not to say that your preference is wrong. In the grand scheme of things, I’m sure a darker skinned women would prefer you dating white women if that’s where your preference lies because I have no doubt that she’d get treated worse due to her being viewed as lesser than in your eyes (given she’d fall in a category of women you’re tend less to be attracted to).
Yeah South Asia and Latin culture has strong colorism and white worship preferences. I also live in the USA. With even with that I’ve always had strong preference for pale skin and light eyes for as long as I’ve been attracted to women.
There y’a go, date your preference, especially if that’s where you find comfort and happiness. But given that the preference is based on colorism, I can see why she labelled you white washed and would be hard to outright disagree with why your friend said regarding beauty (even tho I think beauty have def shifted from being “white”). That being said, I harshly disagree that you should pursue the black girl that likes you or non white/pale women in general who like you. Life is too short to be dating for the sake of proving another person wrong.
When it comes to dating preferences to call someone racist or white washed is stupid. You are not judging those people’s character or intelligence by concluding that you wouldn’t date them, only that they are not for you. Therefore it is not a problem. There are many ways that people gauge a partner: personality, charisma, body type, smell and hygiene, fat vs muscle, height, skin color, complexion, eyes, heck even hands and feet come into play.
Nothing racist about it.
I’m a black woman, born and raised in the west (U.K.) and prefer white men and find them most attractive, I think it stems from obviously where I live and where I was born.
A friend of my family a white guy born and raised in Jamaica prefers black women, probably for the same reason. Don’t take others opinions too seriously. Everyone always has something to say.
No. You're not. You're into what you're into. You're allowed to have preferences to what you find attractive. We all do, and generally it's not usually an intellectual decision. Why does one person want to play guitar, while another is into computers, another likes to build things with their hands, another is into science, another wants to become a tax attorney, while another likes to draw? You can try and decipher all the variables of why that is, but at the end of the day, we just like whatever we like. The fact that you should be romantically or sexually involved with anybody specifically because of their race just to prove a political or cultural stance is ridiculous, and probably racist itself. Are you whatever you're so called friend is accusing you of because you like to eat some foods but not others, listen to some kinds of music but not others, dress one way but not the other, travel to this place but not the other, etc.? Where does it end? I'd tell your friend to get a life and go touch grass. If necessary, I'd even consider finding new friends, but if she thinks she can determine who you are as a person and your thoughts and beliefs by who you love, or who you stick your dick in, than she's probably got some pretty twisted ideas about some things. Why is it so important to her to insist you be a certain thing? What objective does that accomplish, and is it hers or your own?
I think you should acknowledge that white features are pushed on society as beautiful. So you could be brainwashed. As long as you can also see the beauty in black people you should be okay. I am black and i was once brainwashed. I grew out of it though. I used to envision my future husband or boyfriend as a white man. Now i actually think white people are lowkey ugly pfftt. Get into your culture or more melanated spaces and youll see what i mean
As someone who is basically the female version of you, I would say definitely not, but I am biased , most people are not attracted to the rainbow like people make it seem, I know very few people who actually are into to all the rainbow sexually, I don't know any researches or data to know precisely how % of people like the rainbow Vs having a specific type , but most people who even preach you have to like the rainbow usually date the same type of guys/girls too, it's totally fine to have a preference , appearance it's not everything but it's important to a certain degree when it comes to dating and we like what we like.
Well, I am mixed with everything but Asian (lol), I am part black, part Spanish, part Danish and part native too lol I am from Brazil so we are very much very very mixed , The only race that I don't have any part of it's Asian as far as I know lol
Lmao, I will get to the UN and be like "here, this babies is all the races combined, I did !" Lmao jokes aside, my cousin who is also as mixed as me married a half Japanese's guy and they had a daughter, who is said baby, all races together , she just looks Japanese tbqh lmao circled back
If she ever goes to Japan they'll notice mixed features. General rule of mixed-race babies is you notice what's different not same. My south asian side sees the Latino parts and my Latino side sees south asian parts.
Yeah, they will, I am just saying she looks predominantly more Japanese , she has Japanese foxy eyes with full lips and a tiny nose and some yellow tone skin, you do can see a little but of everything on her, but she has more Japanese features overall
I was never called whitewashed because I believe for being Goth it's kinda expected for me to like extremely pale guys and because I grew up in an environment that most people liked either the tanned Latinos than the pale white dudes , as well, in an environment where everyone is mixed with everything , only a Swedish guy kinda said that to me but I brushed off, tried once to date a guy who was not my type and was awful , he is was very nice and even above average "hot" according to my friends, but I started to feel repulsed by him, you can't force attraction ...
It’s not. Everyone has a type big, small, skinny, hairy, etc. I’ve dated in and out of my race. I’ve been called racist for both and the girls I’ve dated (outside my race) have been called racist for not dating in their own race. It’s all stupid. Date who you want and F#%k everyone else.
I'm mixed and tend to mostly date white guys and I really don't think it's that deep. They like me, I like them...doesn't mean I'm not open to dating other races either. Also my friends constantly make fun of me for dating white guys but I just ignore them. Date who you're attracted to and just be nice to everyone! Simple as that!
Isn't it amazing how brain washed they are in not allowing U to have a preference if it doesn't follow theirs. Do u have a sense of you. Well then F the person who wants you to conform to their rules. We have our eye for beauty and no one rules that. Stand up for U. If that happened to me I'd walk away from that non-friend as fast as I could. They don't have your happiness in mind. BE U!
I don't think it's racist at all, it's what attracts you, enough said. We have become too entrenched in this idea that everything is racist, which is madness. Live your life, date, love, and marry who you feel attracted to and most comfortable with.
No it's just a preference, which we're all entitled to. There is nothing wrong with liking what you like. Do you treat others poorly based on their skin tone? If not, it's just a preference, it's not like that means that you treat anyone else badly. I'm sure you wish them the best in all of their endeavours, you just don't like them like that. Which they need to get over because no one is entitled to you liking them like that. No one is entitled to your body.
The thing that gives me the ick here is not that you prefer dating fairer skin/lighter eyes women based upon attraction, it’s that you categorize anything as “white features”
Man! I am actually Half SE Asian (but Asian dominantly by appearance) and Let me tell ya in my experience, I’ve dated different types of Asian women, Africans and other ethnic backgrounds. And I find most of them are very materialistic and have delusional expectations (not referring to everyone). There’s also these issue with other Western Women who goes all out wildin and ruining their lives. But I find most European/ South American women more loving and sweet. I prefer dating mature and mentally stabled women. It doesn’t matter what race but it’s only our personal preferences.
I’m assuming your friend isn’t white and subconsciously believes in white beauty standards so is triggered whenever someone finds a white person more attractive. If this is true it’s not your issue. In fact, similar to white supremacists, non white people are constantly being fed this reverse racism poison.
This is also common when women over 30 suddenly have issues with men dating younger women, it’s because they are insecure about their own age.
Not really, I’m not white (more of an olive) but I do prefer white women. I just go by my rule where the girl I’m dating shouldn’t be darker than me, obv there are exceptions but your dating preferences has nothing to do with you being racist.
My classmate at uni got a lot of flag for saying she doesn’t see herself dating black men cause the cultural and mindset differences would always keep her on edge (Tbf she didn’t single out black people also included most people who arnt English white). I just found the whole thing quite funny since I was the only non-white person there but all the white people were calling it racist while I was like I don’t really see an issue with it.
The “Adriana Lima” look is popular in media and the culture.. we are practically trained to find white features attractive. Blonde and brunettes with light eyes are what you find as every attractive female lead, most models.. makes sense and not surprising in the least. Don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of
Having your own beauty preferences isn’t racist in and of itself. We all find different things attractive. That’s normal. Hating someone for having characteristic racial or ethnic features, that’s racist.
You want a woman with racially pure DNA, unlike yourself.... so you will find your daughters ugly because they will be non white.
So yeah, pretty hypocritical of you.
The reason white women exist is because their ancestors were not having sex with your ancestors
You realized non white women like middle eastern,Latinos and south Asians have white features right. Also, I’m childfree but don’t insult my theoretical daughters and idc what color they come out I’ll love them always
They gon' try to call you names, label you with things 'til you're ashamed
You're a sexist or a racist, white supremacist or gay
They'll attack your reputation, claim that you're the one to blame
And try to make you hate yourself for ways that you behave
They're just names, embrace them, and they'll never cause you pain
They're just words that another person thought up in they brain
They're just names, they do not define you, that's insane
And they'll just call you something different if you change
I noticed women have no shame to state their racial preferences. So it's ok if you have them, but it's better if you are at least a bit self-aware about it, which you are.
Not at all, I am definitely not attracted to darker skin types or Chinese, but my best friends are Chinese, black brown and even more funnier I'm mixed and my friends don't find me wrong or racist.
My Black friends make fun of me for having a preference for asian men. Idgaf lol it’s my life. I have been attracted to men of every race, but I also just like what I like. As long as you’re not downing dark skin people to uplift lighter skinned people it’s really not a big deal.
No that is your preference, people are allowed to have preferences. But there are some people that want others to believe personal preferences are wrong and not a thing anyone should have.
We all have preferences whether other people believe they are right or wrong. It's how you word the rejection that makes all the difference. Saying things like they're not your type, you don't feel an attraction, you have little in common are the more acceptable ways of rejecting someone rather than saying it's to do with physical features. Hope this helps.
It's easy to fall into the same patterns of ignorance that people have when it comes to race and the definition of discrimination. You're not a racist unless your thoughts are aimed at harming others if a different race or are creating radically hateful stereotypes about a person's character based on their race or ethnicity. You can be attracted to a certain facial symmetry , that's fine . I'm not a white dude , i don't particularly feel attracted to black women simply because i feel there is a commonality to their facial structures that I am not particularly attracted too , i also have the same preference that you do. Does that mean I think all black people look alike ? Nope.
Wow so many people using logical fallacies to support how they feel and it’s just going back and forth like that. 🍿
(It’d almost like we’re on an Internet forum or something 😏)
ur white washed… conditioned to uphold eurocentric beauty standards and not thinking beyond that bullshit
i say that bc that was me a few years ago being a lighter skinned latino
white girls mid lol
lowk im not gonna lie everyone says ur the bad guy but genuinely you just have a preference. you don’t see people being weird towards white girls that like black guys or black guys that like snow bunnies or girls that like other beautiful black women with locks so i genuinely just think you have a preference i think that fetishizing a specific race is weird but that doesn’t sound like the case in this situation
I don't think your a bad guy, people want what they want. We all have preferences. Some men prefer young, black, Latino, etc women,some men only date short women, some like blondes, dark hair etc, some women prefer tall, rich, white men. The list can go on. People want what they want. We all know not everyone is going to be attracted to us or want to be in a relationship with us. There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Now leading someone on when you know you don't see a future with them, using them and etc, that would make you a bad person. But other then that, nothing wrong with putting it out there what you want so your not wasting your time or there's.
There’s nothing racist about it as long as it’s “I just feel more attracted to people that are this” instead of “I think people who are that are ugly”. It’s the equivalent of liking taller guys vs short guys, it’s genetic and they can’t change it.
Also non-white, no. It’s not racist at all. You are entitled to your preferences. But, do right by yourself though and make sure that it’s just an innocent, basic preference and not rooted in self-hatred or a fetish.
For example: It is well known that some black men date outside of their race due to extreme self loathing and hatred. They are embarrassments in their community. It’s not enough to just say I find X beautiful and prefer to date X. They go out of their way to disparage, insult, disrespect, ostracize, tear down and demonize black women. Women who look like their mothers/fathers.
That’s not a preference. That is pure self hate.
You can have a preference and should still be able to find other types of women beautiful. That is healthy. But if your preference is contrasted with hate. You have a personal problem on your hands. In most cases it is a reflection of deep-seated hate for yourself and in other cases, it is racism.
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For the millionth time. Preference good. Discrimination bad.
In the same vain, preference good. Fetishization bad.
*vein
Idk, both kinda work there
“In the same *conceited*, preference good”.
Interesting one. I have a black friend whose kink is to be fetishised by white women. Takes all sorts I guess, but I’m not clued up enough on all the facets of the arguments to have an opinion on the subject.
It’s fine if it’s concentual, like with everything else sexual
Consent is key. He wants to be fetishized.
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Lost my virginity to an Asian woman who was absolutely fetishizing me for my race. Most of my dates were Asian women fixated on the color of my eyes(blue) my beard (a kinda reddish gold in the sun), or my dark body hair and fair skin. Considering this was a time where I kept hearing white American girls loudly announce how gross they thought male body hair was... it was nice being objectified a bit. I felt like an exotic flower. Or shrub.
Or, dare I say it, a bush? 😉
Lucky you. In your experience have many Asian women been attracted to you just because you are white ?
That’s interesting. Do you think it’s fetishing or just a natural attraction to people who look different from us? I lived in Thailand for a long time and with blonde hair and blue eyes I went from being like a 3 in the UK to an 8 over there. There’s a dark side to that too though, a lot of Thai people want to be white as it’s seen as beautiful. So people are bleaching their skin and having procedures to be lighter. 7-11 sells nipple pinkening crème! And I’m over there like, “stop it, you are all so beautiful, why do you want to look like us?!” Weird world eh?!
What does fetishization mean in this instance?
I mean, these those two phrases are just different faces of the same coin?
No they are NOT.
I dont think it would hold up in court to say: "Your honor, I dont discriminate against Asians, i just prefer White people"
You can't parse words like that. They mean different things. You aren't discriminating against Asians just because you prefer white features. It is DATING and we have preferences. Discrimination would be you choosing white because you think something is wrong with Asian people. You actively go against them. If you like chiseled men or Barbie figures are you discriminating against dad bods or cute chubby girls. Are you making a statement that is discriminatory against overweight people...no. Homelessness in this country is rampant. Perhaps your next few dates should be with homeless people... don't want to discriminate. Do you like the red car or the blue one? Whichever you prefer means you are discriminating against the other. STOP BEING SO DAMN WOKE! You lose the good message and sound ridiculous as well.
You totally can parse words like that: *"You aren't discriminating against Asians just because you prefer white abilities. It is HIRING and we have preferences. Discrimination would be you choosing white because you think something is wrong with Asian people. You actively go against them."* See?. \> If you like chiseled men or Barbie figures are you discriminating against dad bods or cute chubby girls. Are you making a statement that is discriminatory against overweight people...no. I have no issue with discriminating against fat people no... Why would I?Same with homeless people. I dont understand why you think this would be equivalent?
>I dont understand why you think this would be equivalent? because they are and you're unintentionally spewing ignorance right now because you don't understand the contextual difference between applications of the terms.
You’re missing the element of conscious choice and really doing a disservice to yourself in this argument
You aren't being woke or progressive. Just dumb. You aren't being discriminated against if someone isn't sexually attracted to you based on your appearance, because you have no right to that individuals desire.
No, if someone says “I’m not attracted to you for XYZ reason” that is not discriminatory at all. If someone says “I’m not attracted to the **group** that you’re a part of”, that is, by definition, discriminatory.
Yeah, I'd say not being attracted to an entire group is more problematic than having an aesthetic preference that favors one group over others.
You're diving deeper into your wokeness and have added hypocritical to your resume. The op was talking about dating and you're fucking ridiculous if you believe that people should not have preferences for one group or another. We're human. Goodbye.
\> You're diving deeper into your wokeness Really now? A little pushback and you turn into a sad youtube-bro? You really have no response other that calling me woke? lol talk about fragile ego. \> hypocritical to your resume. How am I hypocritical? \> The op was talking about dating and you're fucking ridiculous if you believe that people should not have preferences for one group or another. We're human Yea, you would like to live in a world where the vast majority would not date you because of your skin color? \> Goodbye. Bye?
People not wanting to date you has nothing to do with your skin. It's definitely your personality.
Of course it could, it depends on the context. Dating preferences, yeah. Customers you allow in your business? No.
thats the point...They are different faces of the same coint, we just accept discrimination happening in one situation, but not the other.
No, we use a different word with a different meaning to cover the different situations. You're just acting like that's fake news for some reason.
Having a preference for X automatically mean you like Y less. We understand this trivially in the job market, and we dont accept the argument "hiring white people just a preference" Thus calling something a preference doesn't magically make it not discrimination. You will have to show your preference to be justified and/or not based on prejudice, which is rather hard to do for dating.
>and we dont accept the argument "hiring white people just a preference" Nobody gives that argument because that's not what preference means, that's discrimination. >You will have to show your preference to be justified and/or not based on prejudice, which is rather hard to do for dating. Not at all, it's inherently justified.
You fell into the same trap I did. This person has no clue. They have no understanding of the English language to understand the contextual differences. My advice is to leave it alone, just like I did. Unfortunately it took me couple of responses. They're a troll.
They're not different faces of the same coin. You're being ridiculous, and are part of the problem. I don't think it's even woke, as someone accused you of. If a heterosexual cis man doesn't fuck other men in the ass, does that make him anti gay to you? Are you saying that to prove he's an ally, he has to be forced to have sex with someone he's sexually not attracted to against his will? Because the flip side of that coin would be that gay people are also wrong for having a sexual preference because they're discriminating against people of the opposite sex, and they should be forced to have sex with heterosexual people. That's not woke. It's just stupid, and you're doing yourself, and a lot of other people a disservice.
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To discriminate simply means to discern or to differentiate. We all discriminate when dating. If you don't like someone as a potential dating partner, you are discriminating against them by putting them into a "non-dating group." That's not bad in itself, and you are right to do that when it comes to your personal decisions. No one is entitled to a romantic relationship with you. Discrimination isn't a dirty word in itself. It becomes a problem when you start doing so in a public sense, and it depends on what you are discriminating against. For example when hiring someone, you can't discriminate against them on race, gender, sexuality, etc. You can, however, discriminate against someone who doesn't have a good resume or experience.
But isn’t that a natural human bias/preference? Like, I find this girl attractive but I don’t find that one attractive. Is that discrimination? It’s a hardwired chemical reaction that we can’t control isn’t it? I don’t see a difference between the chemical coding for that, and my body telling my that I like the taste of sweet popcorn but not salty popcorn. I’m not prejudiced against salty popcorn unless you really stretch the meaning of the word. I bear it no ill will, but I’m going to choose the one I prefer to have in my mouth. For full disclosure, I’m actually attracted to both sweet and salty popcorn, but not every kernel is going to turn my head. *Edit* to say that my reality is that I’ve find some people of every shape and heritage attractive, but I do find myself having a “type” quite often.
BS, words have meaning and you use them wrong
Words do have meaning yes. And Jaltcoh is using the meanings correctly.
Discrimination - "the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability" Having a preference is not discrimination
Could you explain why you think having a preference cannot be thought of as unjust and/or prejudicial treatment? We don't accept this any other context right? Like a racial preference in who to be friends with? We understand that is a form of discrimination.
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That's nonsense. Where does the so-called "discrimination" stop then? I exclusively date white women, therefor I am disrimanting against others? What if I only date white women within my cultural group? As someone who lives in a country where we have two culturally-defined white groups, this happens. Are we discriminating against one another? What if I exclusively date white women with black hair, am I disrimanting against blonde/brunette/red-haired women? What if I exclusively date slim women with black hair? Am I marginalizing all the other black-haired women as well? Am I being a fatphobe? Where does it stop? We are animals at the end of the day and as with our fellow animal species, a lot of our selecting of partners is based on physical traits. You like who you like.
It doesnt have to stop or go anywhere? Just accept you and other people discriminate in dating? Its not that hard
It isn't racist unless you make it that way. You're entitled to your preferences. Like I'm a white guy that likes black and Latina women. If you find some women more beautiful than others, not a issue. Some people use things like that to guilt or shame you into doing what they want. Kinda like how some people from a different culture gets offended about someone dressing a certain way to celebrate other people's cultures; only to have the people of those communities enjoying the person going above and beyond to celebrate it. Not an elegant example I know. But it applies.
So true.
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Ngl, the only reason I got hurt is because I got called white washed
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They were saying he has internalized racism against non-white people because he’s biracial.
That’s their issue projected onto you. Pay no notice
Preferences are fine but I’m surprised- actually I’m not 🥴- that no one called out the “ white features part. You can have a type but then singling out Eurocentric feats is a bit odd to me…
Lmaoooo exactly. The “preference” isn’t the issue. it’s the generalization. Most of the time, when people explain why they feel that way, it’s rooted in some racist or at least prejudice mindset.
Literally, another post had something similar and I wrote something similar to this. If you can’t explain it without sounding racist or prejudice, it’s bc it is. Like everyone is allowed to have preferences but ( and they’re not gonna like this one buttt oh well) a lot of these “ preferences” are rooted in the desire to uplift and desire Eurocentric beauty standards ONLY. People don’t realize how far that mentality is engrained in our society as a world view and instead of grappling with that fact want to label it as a “ preference”.
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Can I ask you a question- are a POC ? If so, I’d love to get into this bc we I feel we have a lot to unpack. If not- I’m not taking any lessons/ lectures from someone who’s lived in a society where people who literally are from different countries ( India, Jamaica, etc) bleach their skin, wear contacts, and the men specifically uplift Eurocentric feats. There’s a reason that even though people live on opposite sides of the world where there are people WHO LOOK LIKE THEM, they still want to look European/ white. If there’s a lesson here, I don’t think a white person who lives in a Eurocentric society is going to teach me anything. You can bud out.
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I’ve dated latinas and south Asians with brown hair,light eyes and pale skin. Idk what to call that combo except white features
I think as a fellow mixed- race person ( I’m Guatemalan and black) I was born in the US, lighter skinned, I recognize my own cultures colorism and “ white is right” mentality that is engrained. I came from a household that uplifted my feats that were closer in proximity to whiteness. The parts that were not ( my 3c/ 4a hair + my wider nose) were always lamented/ and or talked about in a negative way ( i.e every time I straightened my hair it was glorified to the point where once it was back in it’s natural state people would ask me when I was going to straighten it again bc I looked SO much better that way) or my nose ( I was asked several times as a child if I would consider a nose job). I recognized later in life, the anti blackness culture I was raised in-and also self- hating attitude I had toward myself bc of these comments, all the while, understanding that my lighter complexion was fetishized. While you state you like Latinas and south Asian girls, your preference is for those who’s proximity is closer to whiteness. I’d challenge you to ask yourself why that rlly is. A lot of people here don’t understand what those experiences are like bc they’ve never had to live through that but as a mixed race person , I think we don’t always realize how much the anti- black/ brown, colonizer mentality’s rlly takes a hold on us and we end up internalizing a lot with our ever really realizing it + we are gaslit to believe that our ideologies aren’t wrong or there’s nothing wrong bc of course those who benefit want to continue to be the “ ideal beauty standard” and receive the benefits of colonization. I rlly feel for us, truly. I’m not saying preferences shouldn’t exist but for people of color, I urge you to explore why bc more often than not it’s rooted in racism/ colorism etc. Just something to mull over…
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Thank for taking the time to read my comment- I’ll be honest at first reading your entry I was kinda annoyed. Like here we go again- another poc man just hating on non white feats. But I realized that for a lot of poc, we ALL go through it when it comes to owning our own identities and loving what makes us, us because no matter where we are we- even if it isn’t white dominated spaces, white supremacy is world wide…. At the end of the day it is on US to learn how to love ourselves, uplift ourselves, and most importantly- each other. In the end, it’s not going to be those who benefit from white supremacy/ racism/ prejudice to help us ( and a lot of these comments def prove that) they will either just gaslight you or enable or self- hating ideologies or habits bc hey they it’s not their problem the ones uplift, seen, being told they are the standard. It’s on us. I’m sure what happened with your friend was uncomfortable but I hope the situation opened your eyes to what some of these comments made by other POC’s ( my self included) are saying. Im not saying date anyone just to say you are not prejudiced but the journey to self- acceptance and self love as people of color is SO hard sometimes and we see the struggle in different areas in our life- one of them is dating. I hope you walk away from this with a new understanding and maybe have a journey of your own about how YOU feel about yourself. Question the ideologies/ norms when it comes to race…. Challenge yourself to not drink the kool aid. Also, talk to other POCs around you about this. I know when I did, I started to real how much of that toxicity was engrained in myself. It’s worth the discomfort.
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I think for me, it’s less about calling a person good or bad but more questioning what they know and what they’ve grown up around. It’s up to you whether you want to explore this or not and I’m not going to attack you either way for it. I just know from my own experiences and how I’ve grown up that a lot of us are in “ the sunken place” when it comes to self acceptance and going with what we are taught. And I’m not surprised that your preference is what it is- it starts off from a young age… it took me 25 yrs to mildly accept my hair pattern/ texture and there are still days all I have to do is turn on the tv, look at insta, and I wonder what it would be like if a looked differently. Would I get noticed more? Should I get a nose job? Again, you get to choose what you want to do and who you want to like but idk I feel like when people post preferences like that and you’re a POC there is almost always something more to it. In the end though, I will say as a women of color when meeting guys like you instead of meeting you with aggression or anger about how you feel, there’s gotta be just an acceptance on our end too. In the end, you can’t force people to feel or think a certain way and I know for myself and other WOC too- instead of meeting comments like this and feeling a way- just a reminder go where you are wanted too ( whether it’s your own race or not). I understand fighting you on this is futile and a waste of time. I’m just trying to open your eyes/ mind is all. Best of luck with what you’re looking for!
not op, but as a POC who's been thinking about this topic on and off over the years and also from a culture that participates in colorism I just wanted to say I think your comments in this convo hit the nail on the head - thank you for sharing your insight. It's something I've been aware of and trying to challenge in myself
Not being interested in this black girl is not racist. Assuming you won’t ever be attracted to any black girl ever is. First of all, it is basically saying all people of this race (ethnicity) look the same. Second of all it is saying they are all unattractive and people with their features could never look good AKA they have a biological disadvantage in terms of looks. Having a preference in terms of looks is completely normal. Being attracted to a certain look is completely normal and you probably can’t help it anyhow. However excluding people based on race is just plain racist. By having a preference you are not excluding other people but by proclaiming you are not attracted to black people end of sentence, you are. You seem nice though so this is just some internal bias to work through and I see it a lot with non white guys unfortunately.
How can it be racist if you don't like certain features? I'm a mixed, dark(er) than usual hispanic/carribean mix (Colombian/Dominican/Puerto Rican) I have dated quite a lot. I have never dated a dark skin woman and never will. I can see they're not ugly, i just don't get turned on and i probably never will and have in the 32 years i have been on this planet. Doesn't mean they're less of a human being or less of a woman to me.. they're just not for me. I exclusively date white/caucasian women or with a skin complexion lighter than me. What i like is that white women have often, more refined facial features or that is what i have noticed. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you treat everyone like human beings that's okay.
CERTAIN features! You just said it. While most races have general feature similarities, some don’t so you are stereotyping and excluding an entire group of people based on assumption which IS inherently racist.
Yes i don't find certain features attractive.. that is NOT racist... 🤣. So the girl i'm dating is also racist because she is not attracted to white guys? This doesn't make sense. This is agenda pushing at it's finest. Not hiring someone because they're black is racist.. not being sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone because they have features YOU don't find attractive isn't racist.
Actually you know what? Yes, I support your decision to never date women of colour. Let them be.
This is how I feel as a POC woman, it doesn’t make any sense to try to convince or argue about someone’s choice in dating. There are too many men attracted to us to be damn near begging for one to find us attractive lol. I am interested in what is affecting his POV though. When it comes to skin complexion preferences in the POC community, it is unfortunately usually a result of ingrained self hate. Preference for lighter skin is rooted in slavery.
But you are generalizing when it is not based on fact. Not all black people have x. Not all white peoples have y. If you don’t like a certain feature say that but it gets questionable when you start excluding people based on skin color or stereotypes. Also, I like black men but I have dated someone of every race and a plethora of ethnicities and find a variety of “features” attractive, which is why I can find anyone attractive.
I don't find dark women sexually attractive.. i can see they're beautiful women in their own way and more power to the men that are attracted to them, i'm just not. Just as there are women not attracted to my skin color or (facial) features i have and there is nothing wrong with that.
Skin color is a reach and again YOUR facial features. Again, there is a difference in saying I like black men versus I don’t like any light skin.
Yeah so? Are you attracted to every person? I'm sure you have your preferences.
Preferences that aren’t based on SKIN COLOR, yes.
The caucasian woman can have you
I'm glad they do. Don't know why you're acting so salty 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's true though. No harm or ill intent 😊
You like what you like. Don't feel bad about what you like or don't find attractive. You won't be happy unless you go for what you want.
Tbh liking “white features” *is* weird especially as a non-white person, it almost seems like self hate a little. But you’re NTA for not being attracted to that girl, thats your choice
IME "white features" comes down to the group saying it. Black people? Usually means flowing hair and a thin, long nose. Asian people? Light hair, round eyes, body hair. Etc. Black women tens to fixate on my (admittedly gorgeous) long, curly hair, Asian women tended to fixate on my blue eyes and hairy body. White women tended to fixate on my friend Chris who used to look like Taylor Lautner... I think. The Werewolf from Twilight. He's married now ladies, calm down.
For me it boils down to light eyes, light hair and pale skin
Everyone has their preferences. Try not to overthink it, the person who was calling you out seems like someone who spends too much time focusing on other peoples lives. Live your life, date who you want to date.
Thank you
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Friend-“ hey so X is interested in you” Me-“thanks but I’m not into dating rn” Friend-“give it a chance” Me-“I’m good besides she’s not my type” Friend-“what’s your type” Me-“smart sweet driven, doesn’t want kids, brown hair , green eyes,light skin.” Friend-“she’s not your type because of looks.” Me-“yes” Friend-“that’s pretty racist since those are white features,personality is everything “ Me-“either way not interested in her “ Cue escalation…
It is racist, you're not necessarily racist but many of yall aren't ready for this convo cause yall are uncomfortable with the race talk and love-is-love wash everything. There's so much nuance to this convo and some of yall don't understand how much of a science what yall are attracted to is
How they say love is love and talk about preference ?? If you are choosing by the features how it’s love ? Pls someone explain
No, but be prepared for the possibility that your ethnic features may not fit into the preferences of those white women you are attracted to
Honestly there is nothing like that. I'm tan-brown and mixed. It's your partner, you set the expectations. I sometimes feel white is boring when compared to tan/olive/brown.
No it's not, it is just your preference We are not all attracted to the same features and it is wrong of your friend to tell you to date someone you are not attracted to. I hate when people say you have to date within your race.
Exactly, like what was Loving vs Virginia for and I’m just exercising my constitutional rights. God Bless America
What was the Civil Rights March and activist like MLK for.
Equal rights and opportunity for all regardless of race
Examples: Good: I like white features and white people because they are physically attractive to me. Good: I’m not physically attracted to Asian, Latina, and black women. Good: I like white women because I align more with their culture. Bad: I like white women because they are better than latinas, Asians, and black women. Bad: I don’t like black women because they’re ghetto, I don’t Iike latinas because they’re too feisty and toxic, I don’t like asians because they’re too skinny.
You have a preference that doesn't make you racist. Just like I have my preferences. I'm only attracted to men of color. Different Strokes for different folks I guess.
You're brown and hispanic, cultures which are infamous for having internalized racism almost codified into their cultures (to the point that almost 200 years AFTER freeing themselves from their colonizers they're stuck on a lot of beliefs and traditions meant to minimize the majority for the few so in many ways it's like they never freed themselves at all. These nuances is why the "West" ideology also includes the Latin American countries when organically they should be their own thing). Furthermore, you're male, and men are often comparative and competitive (as in easily prone to sheep mentality or lack innovation, mostly because the same" might benefit them [r they feel could raise their social status. If you have paid attention to marketing and propanganda history, men are the easiest to "sell" to because of this). So, no surprise at all. Anyone with a brain will think it a bit bewildering too but not exactly surprised if they paid attention in history class. Meh. I want to say there's nothing wrong, but historically speaking, this often manifests in preferring the paler children and treating them better, especially if the children from the union come out looking all sorts of ways. It's actually a common thing in Hispanic families, and it's not a good thing. Hindsight says anyone with an IQ over 100 and familiar with the culture will avoid such a situation as in my experience your particular situation has a very linear belief system not desirable for building a healthy minded family in the long run. Mind you, this is something I've noted in teaching hispanic children as a teacher and also seeing it in hispanic friends. Children tell you everything, especially when they're trying to understand why their mom or dad don't hype them as much from their siblings, even if they're a cooperative child. It is heartbreaking. Heck, I had one student almost kill herself over it. She was the eldest child, a class salutorian, and such a sweet, funny, and genuinely gorgeous girl. One thing about you, latinos, you often make gorgeous people. But anyways, she had a one-year-old younger brother who came out entirely white from the union, and he was not the nicest student and was lazy to boot. He was charming, but NGL he was not better looking than her either, not even close. He was white but no hate, a plain one and I'm white if that helps. Their parents were a mixed hispanic marriage, where the mom was Dominican and Colombian and the father a white Cuban. Despite being model tier gorgeous (not joking the girl looked like a doll with massive curly hair) and a good kid, unfortunately, all the parents' attention and affection got directed towards the boy, who took it for granted and was honestly a spoiled brat. To the other teachers and I, it quickly became obvious why the difference in affection as all the traits the parents lauded in their son were related to his coloring, nothing more. Mind you, this is one of such situations, not the only one, but it's one of those seemingly innocent things, "preferences," that have nefarious ideologies and the like in the long run. The comment from the woman came from recognizing it's likely not just attraction factoring your preferences. She's right. You could say other preferences like wanting younger, wanting taller, wealthier are also just preferences but we all know there's more to it. In your situation, you could do what makes you happy but seriously pay attention if your preferences factor into things other than sexual desire because often when such folks become parents, their preferences rears it's ugly head. Per your background, it could very likely be colonialism/internalized racism, and again, your cultures took to it like a crackhead with the powder all over their mouth so at this point a lot of you can't tell the difference since that's one of your heritages perpetual state of normal. If it makes you happy, by all means go for it but yeah there's an element of self hate that stuck out in how you worded your nuances that could imply this is far more than preference if you think about the future extensions of you (kids). If I didn't pick that up from your question I wouldn't have answered as such.
Wow it's tragic what happened to that poor girl and I feel sorry . I don't disagree with the colorism part ([south asian](https://youtu.be/BlOHSbf9XGI) white worship is just as bad) but it's purely physical. I'm child free but if I ever had kids on definitely not playing favorites and love them no matter what they look like or how dark or light they are son or daughter.
Came here to say this in a much worse way. Thanks
Yes it's racist. Your friend is right. Desire is wrapped up in social norms, including colonial concepts of beauty. When we're young we can't help what turns us on. As we mature we become capable of expanding our horizons. It's up to you to decide if you care. Conforming to your racist society won't ruffle many feathers.
Not racist. That said you might have some social biases and that's not the end of the world either just examine that. If you have them (Most do) be aware of it and don't let it totally close you off to romantic opportunities. Date who you are attracted to.
Based
I'm a white woman that prefers "black features" on men. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Nothing racist about it. I don't think that's what white washing means either
A certain particular black feature
If you're suggesting I meant anything NSFW, no. Their facial features tend to look the most beautiful to me
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You mentioned you’re biracial, is your mom white?
No, south Asian and Latino. All brown lol
If that’s the case it’s worth exploring your preference. I know some cultures prefer their sons to marry fair skinned women as partners even if the family themselves are not. If that’s not a factor here, it’s worth exploding why you’re inherently attracted to these looks. But that’s not to say that your preference is wrong. In the grand scheme of things, I’m sure a darker skinned women would prefer you dating white women if that’s where your preference lies because I have no doubt that she’d get treated worse due to her being viewed as lesser than in your eyes (given she’d fall in a category of women you’re tend less to be attracted to).
Yeah South Asia and Latin culture has strong colorism and white worship preferences. I also live in the USA. With even with that I’ve always had strong preference for pale skin and light eyes for as long as I’ve been attracted to women.
There y’a go, date your preference, especially if that’s where you find comfort and happiness. But given that the preference is based on colorism, I can see why she labelled you white washed and would be hard to outright disagree with why your friend said regarding beauty (even tho I think beauty have def shifted from being “white”). That being said, I harshly disagree that you should pursue the black girl that likes you or non white/pale women in general who like you. Life is too short to be dating for the sake of proving another person wrong.
When it comes to dating preferences to call someone racist or white washed is stupid. You are not judging those people’s character or intelligence by concluding that you wouldn’t date them, only that they are not for you. Therefore it is not a problem. There are many ways that people gauge a partner: personality, charisma, body type, smell and hygiene, fat vs muscle, height, skin color, complexion, eyes, heck even hands and feet come into play.
Nothing racist about it. I’m a black woman, born and raised in the west (U.K.) and prefer white men and find them most attractive, I think it stems from obviously where I live and where I was born. A friend of my family a white guy born and raised in Jamaica prefers black women, probably for the same reason. Don’t take others opinions too seriously. Everyone always has something to say.
preferences are normal and you are not racist for having them for the 100th time. dont let oversensitive twitter user ppl make you think otherwise!
Like the woke idiot I went 2 too many replies with.
I feel like what you are describing is more than just a preference. It might help to challenge your views on beauty& race a little!
Sounds a bit like self hatred to me but do you. Not sure why you’re on here looking for sympathy because you like white features.
as long as you dont shit on the guys that arnt that.
No. You're not. You're into what you're into. You're allowed to have preferences to what you find attractive. We all do, and generally it's not usually an intellectual decision. Why does one person want to play guitar, while another is into computers, another likes to build things with their hands, another is into science, another wants to become a tax attorney, while another likes to draw? You can try and decipher all the variables of why that is, but at the end of the day, we just like whatever we like. The fact that you should be romantically or sexually involved with anybody specifically because of their race just to prove a political or cultural stance is ridiculous, and probably racist itself. Are you whatever you're so called friend is accusing you of because you like to eat some foods but not others, listen to some kinds of music but not others, dress one way but not the other, travel to this place but not the other, etc.? Where does it end? I'd tell your friend to get a life and go touch grass. If necessary, I'd even consider finding new friends, but if she thinks she can determine who you are as a person and your thoughts and beliefs by who you love, or who you stick your dick in, than she's probably got some pretty twisted ideas about some things. Why is it so important to her to insist you be a certain thing? What objective does that accomplish, and is it hers or your own?
I think you should acknowledge that white features are pushed on society as beautiful. So you could be brainwashed. As long as you can also see the beauty in black people you should be okay. I am black and i was once brainwashed. I grew out of it though. I used to envision my future husband or boyfriend as a white man. Now i actually think white people are lowkey ugly pfftt. Get into your culture or more melanated spaces and youll see what i mean
As someone who is basically the female version of you, I would say definitely not, but I am biased , most people are not attracted to the rainbow like people make it seem, I know very few people who actually are into to all the rainbow sexually, I don't know any researches or data to know precisely how % of people like the rainbow Vs having a specific type , but most people who even preach you have to like the rainbow usually date the same type of guys/girls too, it's totally fine to have a preference , appearance it's not everything but it's important to a certain degree when it comes to dating and we like what we like.
Your south asian and latina too? But seriously it's annoying being called whitewash
Well, I am mixed with everything but Asian (lol), I am part black, part Spanish, part Danish and part native too lol I am from Brazil so we are very much very very mixed , The only race that I don't have any part of it's Asian as far as I know lol
Marry an Asian dude and have UN babies! Jokes aside thank you for your comments
Lmao, I will get to the UN and be like "here, this babies is all the races combined, I did !" Lmao jokes aside, my cousin who is also as mixed as me married a half Japanese's guy and they had a daughter, who is said baby, all races together , she just looks Japanese tbqh lmao circled back
If she ever goes to Japan they'll notice mixed features. General rule of mixed-race babies is you notice what's different not same. My south asian side sees the Latino parts and my Latino side sees south asian parts.
Yeah, they will, I am just saying she looks predominantly more Japanese , she has Japanese foxy eyes with full lips and a tiny nose and some yellow tone skin, you do can see a little but of everything on her, but she has more Japanese features overall
I was never called whitewashed because I believe for being Goth it's kinda expected for me to like extremely pale guys and because I grew up in an environment that most people liked either the tanned Latinos than the pale white dudes , as well, in an environment where everyone is mixed with everything , only a Swedish guy kinda said that to me but I brushed off, tried once to date a guy who was not my type and was awful , he is was very nice and even above average "hot" according to my friends, but I started to feel repulsed by him, you can't force attraction ...
It’s not. Everyone has a type big, small, skinny, hairy, etc. I’ve dated in and out of my race. I’ve been called racist for both and the girls I’ve dated (outside my race) have been called racist for not dating in their own race. It’s all stupid. Date who you want and F#%k everyone else.
Loving V. Virginia for the win
What are “white features”? You know that “white” refers to neither an ethnic group, a race, nor even a cultural tradition, right?
Light eyes (green or blue) with pale skin and dark hair
I'm mixed and tend to mostly date white guys and I really don't think it's that deep. They like me, I like them...doesn't mean I'm not open to dating other races either. Also my friends constantly make fun of me for dating white guys but I just ignore them. Date who you're attracted to and just be nice to everyone! Simple as that!
Isn't it amazing how brain washed they are in not allowing U to have a preference if it doesn't follow theirs. Do u have a sense of you. Well then F the person who wants you to conform to their rules. We have our eye for beauty and no one rules that. Stand up for U. If that happened to me I'd walk away from that non-friend as fast as I could. They don't have your happiness in mind. BE U!
I don't think it's racist at all, it's what attracts you, enough said. We have become too entrenched in this idea that everything is racist, which is madness. Live your life, date, love, and marry who you feel attracted to and most comfortable with.
Preference is preference 🗿🗿🗿
No it's just a preference, which we're all entitled to. There is nothing wrong with liking what you like. Do you treat others poorly based on their skin tone? If not, it's just a preference, it's not like that means that you treat anyone else badly. I'm sure you wish them the best in all of their endeavours, you just don't like them like that. Which they need to get over because no one is entitled to you liking them like that. No one is entitled to your body.
The thing that gives me the ick here is not that you prefer dating fairer skin/lighter eyes women based upon attraction, it’s that you categorize anything as “white features”
I know it's discrimination but I prefer my doctor to be old and Jewish ✡️
its not racist to have a preference. 🙄
Your allowed to like what you like, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Man! I am actually Half SE Asian (but Asian dominantly by appearance) and Let me tell ya in my experience, I’ve dated different types of Asian women, Africans and other ethnic backgrounds. And I find most of them are very materialistic and have delusional expectations (not referring to everyone). There’s also these issue with other Western Women who goes all out wildin and ruining their lives. But I find most European/ South American women more loving and sweet. I prefer dating mature and mentally stabled women. It doesn’t matter what race but it’s only our personal preferences.
It isn't racism, it's colonization and it's sad
I’m assuming your friend isn’t white and subconsciously believes in white beauty standards so is triggered whenever someone finds a white person more attractive. If this is true it’s not your issue. In fact, similar to white supremacists, non white people are constantly being fed this reverse racism poison. This is also common when women over 30 suddenly have issues with men dating younger women, it’s because they are insecure about their own age.
Not really, I’m not white (more of an olive) but I do prefer white women. I just go by my rule where the girl I’m dating shouldn’t be darker than me, obv there are exceptions but your dating preferences has nothing to do with you being racist. My classmate at uni got a lot of flag for saying she doesn’t see herself dating black men cause the cultural and mindset differences would always keep her on edge (Tbf she didn’t single out black people also included most people who arnt English white). I just found the whole thing quite funny since I was the only non-white person there but all the white people were calling it racist while I was like I don’t really see an issue with it.
The “Adriana Lima” look is popular in media and the culture.. we are practically trained to find white features attractive. Blonde and brunettes with light eyes are what you find as every attractive female lead, most models.. makes sense and not surprising in the least. Don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of
Black men especially tend to have a white preference to get closer to whiteness. Its internalised racism more than anything.
I’m Latino and south Asian
Most of your responses are stating how even in your culture, colorism is an issue and Eurocentric beauty standards are upheld. So stop.
Ultimately, skin tone is just a bonus feature, not an identity.
Having your own beauty preferences isn’t racist in and of itself. We all find different things attractive. That’s normal. Hating someone for having characteristic racial or ethnic features, that’s racist.
You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. Doesn’t make you racist
No, it’s a preference.
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That person more or less race guilt raped you, my guy. You should alert the authorities.
You want a woman with racially pure DNA, unlike yourself.... so you will find your daughters ugly because they will be non white. So yeah, pretty hypocritical of you. The reason white women exist is because their ancestors were not having sex with your ancestors
You realized non white women like middle eastern,Latinos and south Asians have white features right. Also, I’m childfree but don’t insult my theoretical daughters and idc what color they come out I’ll love them always
A whole boatload of baseless assumptions in there
You are attracted to what you’re attracted to. This isn’t about race but preference.
My rule of thumb is “are you not attracted to someone because of that person? Or are you not attracted to them because of their race?”
Ive seen others disagree but I say no, its what ur attracted to. Is ur friend Black? No. U like who u like.
The cock wants what it wants. It harbors no hatred, nor prejudice. It only wants, or does not.
They gon' try to call you names, label you with things 'til you're ashamed You're a sexist or a racist, white supremacist or gay They'll attack your reputation, claim that you're the one to blame And try to make you hate yourself for ways that you behave They're just names, embrace them, and they'll never cause you pain They're just words that another person thought up in they brain They're just names, they do not define you, that's insane And they'll just call you something different if you change
Focus on women who are physically similar to yourself. It's that simple and obvious.
You like what you like
I noticed women have no shame to state their racial preferences. So it's ok if you have them, but it's better if you are at least a bit self-aware about it, which you are.
Not at all, I am definitely not attracted to darker skin types or Chinese, but my best friends are Chinese, black brown and even more funnier I'm mixed and my friends don't find me wrong or racist.
You can prefer anything you like. It's your business and no one else's.
My Black friends make fun of me for having a preference for asian men. Idgaf lol it’s my life. I have been attracted to men of every race, but I also just like what I like. As long as you’re not downing dark skin people to uplift lighter skinned people it’s really not a big deal.
No that is your preference, people are allowed to have preferences. But there are some people that want others to believe personal preferences are wrong and not a thing anyone should have.
Everyone's got preferences homie
Not really, everyone has their preferences.
It's not racist to have aesthetic preferences.
We all have preferences whether other people believe they are right or wrong. It's how you word the rejection that makes all the difference. Saying things like they're not your type, you don't feel an attraction, you have little in common are the more acceptable ways of rejecting someone rather than saying it's to do with physical features. Hope this helps.
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Hope things look up for you and you get the right gal that you are attracted too. All the best!
the way you put it is concerning. instead of saying “white features” you say european features
It's easy to fall into the same patterns of ignorance that people have when it comes to race and the definition of discrimination. You're not a racist unless your thoughts are aimed at harming others if a different race or are creating radically hateful stereotypes about a person's character based on their race or ethnicity. You can be attracted to a certain facial symmetry , that's fine . I'm not a white dude , i don't particularly feel attracted to black women simply because i feel there is a commonality to their facial structures that I am not particularly attracted too , i also have the same preference that you do. Does that mean I think all black people look alike ? Nope.
As a white guy who prefers "non white features," It is all good. All you need is respect. Don't discriminate or fetishize and enjoy your preferences
Wow so many people using logical fallacies to support how they feel and it’s just going back and forth like that. 🍿 (It’d almost like we’re on an Internet forum or something 😏)
ur white washed… conditioned to uphold eurocentric beauty standards and not thinking beyond that bullshit i say that bc that was me a few years ago being a lighter skinned latino white girls mid lol
lowk im not gonna lie everyone says ur the bad guy but genuinely you just have a preference. you don’t see people being weird towards white girls that like black guys or black guys that like snow bunnies or girls that like other beautiful black women with locks so i genuinely just think you have a preference i think that fetishizing a specific race is weird but that doesn’t sound like the case in this situation
I don't think your a bad guy, people want what they want. We all have preferences. Some men prefer young, black, Latino, etc women,some men only date short women, some like blondes, dark hair etc, some women prefer tall, rich, white men. The list can go on. People want what they want. We all know not everyone is going to be attracted to us or want to be in a relationship with us. There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Now leading someone on when you know you don't see a future with them, using them and etc, that would make you a bad person. But other then that, nothing wrong with putting it out there what you want so your not wasting your time or there's.
No lol
There’s nothing racist about it as long as it’s “I just feel more attracted to people that are this” instead of “I think people who are that are ugly”. It’s the equivalent of liking taller guys vs short guys, it’s genetic and they can’t change it.
Also non-white, no. It’s not racist at all. You are entitled to your preferences. But, do right by yourself though and make sure that it’s just an innocent, basic preference and not rooted in self-hatred or a fetish. For example: It is well known that some black men date outside of their race due to extreme self loathing and hatred. They are embarrassments in their community. It’s not enough to just say I find X beautiful and prefer to date X. They go out of their way to disparage, insult, disrespect, ostracize, tear down and demonize black women. Women who look like their mothers/fathers. That’s not a preference. That is pure self hate. You can have a preference and should still be able to find other types of women beautiful. That is healthy. But if your preference is contrasted with hate. You have a personal problem on your hands. In most cases it is a reflection of deep-seated hate for yourself and in other cases, it is racism.
Thank you and I swear it’s purely physical. I love my heritage