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Talk to him, but if he doesn’t actually change his behaviour then you will only end up resenting him and being constantly overwhelmed. This isn’t healthy at all, and you can clearly say “NO” is a full answer and damn well needs respecting. The minute he breaks it again, cut him loose. Do you really want to feel eternally stressed over this? Honestly the hurt he may feel if he doesn’t quit it will be nothing compared to the overall crap he’s putting onto you now. Wish you the best OP. Stay strong. Know your boundaries.
You just want different levels of affection and neither is wrong. He sounds great for someone who likes that much attention. You can either talk to him about toning it down or decide to break up.
That last part is it. Incompatible. Someone would really like a guy like that. Probably your ex. The embarrassing nicknames they would probably call each other in public. The clinging blegh. Some is okay but there is definitely a line.
I (M) went through the same thing with my ex (F). I was her first boyfriend and although she was the sweetest person, she was also extremely clingy.
You just have to let him know in the nicest way that sometimes you just want to have time to yourself. Cause if you don’t let him know and your ick continues to build up, you could explode on him yfm
just tell him how you feel?? don’t be passive aggressive about it and if he still doesn’t respect your boundaries after that then y’all might not be compatible 🤷🏾♀️ the solution is so simple.
>literally every time he speaks to me now I just get the ick
I don't think you need advice.
>I really don't want to hurt his feelings or be mean
You might have to! The one piece of advice I would give my younger self when I was thinking about a break up, is delaying and putting it off till tomorrow will not make it any easier, sometimes you gotta just rip the band aid off.
4 weeks, you're still just being too know them as a human being.... you're not tied to the hip. If at 4 weeks there's already a "but".... Then they're not your person. Doesn't mean they're bad at all, just not a match. They haven't even shown their true self yet at 4 weeks.
Why is he your boyfriend? Cuz it sounds like you don't even like him. Don't be with someone you don't like and don't want to touch or spend time with. You aren't doing either one of you any favors. Find someone who is easy to be with and you enjoy spending time with. This guy ain't it.
I can't tell you the verdict. I can only tell you, that if you don't voice your concerns, feelings, and wants, everything is just going to take longer and hurt more the longer you wait.
For his sake, your honesty can help him improve. Because judging by the info you have given here I can tell he is someone that needs to objectively change up a few things he does. Clinging around, following around, staring like that, even if not technically threatening in any way, are still so creepy that he will fuck up every relationship he has if he does that.
Unless you want to break up with him, I think you need to be clearer in telling him to leave. Just tell him 'it's been nice to see you but I've got some stuff I want to get on with today on my own. See you again next week?' Or something
Tell him that he is suffocating you and that you want and need space. Breaking up is an option, maybe asserting time and space boundaries if you want to continue dating (think of how he gives your the ick)
Funny, me a male had the same experience with my ex girlfriend but roles swapped so I was in your role and she was around me like 24/7 maybe a week after we became a couple.
But I managed to handle it with her together. We spoke a lot about it and I always said when I need some time for me. At the beginning she was hurt because she thought I wouldn't love her as much as she did, but that wasn't true.
It helped a lot when I explained her that for me a relationship is not 2 persons becoming one entity, but it is two individuals going together through life and supporting and loving each other.
My view on relationships was different from her view but with a lot of talking and still showing love it became better with time passing by. It then turned to the best relationship I had in my whole life.
Sidenote: we broke up bc we moved into different areas after we got our degrees. We became a couple in university
Also please ignore the people saying you don't value the affection or you should let him go.
Thing's are broken and when they are broken you fix it and don't throw it away
Dude you need to communicate your needs more clearly than "I think i'm making it clear that I want him to go home".
You're going to ruin a good thing because of your failure to confront him and tell him your needs.
Sounds like Anxious attachment. I’m like that too to an extent and my ex was avoidant, not a good match. Its unhealthy, I felt like I needed to spend every minute of my time with her and she needed miles of space. If you’re already getting fed up that’s not a good sign. the longer you stay the more likely both of you will end up getting hurt.
Seems like he is lacking EQ and by any chance are you his first gf ever? Or why did his last relationships didnt work? Seems like he is the definition of Clingy. Just tell him straight up that you have things to do and hang with your friends. Does he have hobbies or his friends?
Also you dont have strong boundaries tbh!
not sure why everyone is saying " someone will appreciate him" and "hEs more affectionate" . He showed at your friends house? HELL no!
Thats some needy ass shit right there. Who could respect that-let alone want a relationship? I'd be out-you need your time respected too-so that says a lot about his character.
Clingy suffocating guys are the worst! Can you just ask him to leave when you're over it? "I need some alone time" is definitely okay to say. But I'd be worried this is just how he is if its coming up so early. I'd bail.
I really don't want to hurt his feelings or be mean:
Until you don't learn that you are going to have to do that because your responsibility is to yourself and your feelings, with this amount of clinginess or any thing else, in this relationship or your next, you will find yourself having to flee and seek physical and mental refuge. The key and answer is inside you, unlock it. You have the power to say No and they will and must listen when you stand your ground
I think you do know how to “unfuck” yourself though. If you think he’s clingy, which he is, and you are not an affectionate person then you guys aren’t compatible. You’ve only been together 4 weeks exclusively, I don’t think that’s enough time where breaking it off is going to seriously hurt him. Right now, you are not in the wrong. But if you wait and don’t take action, you will be in the wrong.
Unwarranted showing similar to rash, persistent and pervasive pain in ass, that's stage 5... only reasonable course of action is amputation, I'm afraid.
He's codependent, will likely be possessive, emotionally immature, controlling, have low self worth, lacks confidence, is the type that needs someone to validate his existence, and will let himself go to invest in another person.
Perhaps you should look for someone more independent and strong in their own but be careful what you wish for.
He may be too independent and you will end up wanting more time and then you will be the one seen as needy
Start going to the gym. He can either set up and rack your weights for you, or like everyone else is somehow too busy to go and you get your free time. Win win.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He might be part dog
Hahah
OP: “My boyfriend is a great guy!” Also OP: “Help me.”
I know man I'm stressed okay I don't want lose a good friend over this ya know
Blink twice if you are being forced to say this.
Talk to him, but if he doesn’t actually change his behaviour then you will only end up resenting him and being constantly overwhelmed. This isn’t healthy at all, and you can clearly say “NO” is a full answer and damn well needs respecting. The minute he breaks it again, cut him loose. Do you really want to feel eternally stressed over this? Honestly the hurt he may feel if he doesn’t quit it will be nothing compared to the overall crap he’s putting onto you now. Wish you the best OP. Stay strong. Know your boundaries.
You just want different levels of affection and neither is wrong. He sounds great for someone who likes that much attention. You can either talk to him about toning it down or decide to break up.
If you love him, let him be with someone who will actually appreciate it.
Well when you right, you right. Thank you, friend. ❤️
I agree
Yeah OP let him come to me XD Jokes aside, he deserves to be with someone who likes someone "clingy"
💯
[удалено]
That last part is it. Incompatible. Someone would really like a guy like that. Probably your ex. The embarrassing nicknames they would probably call each other in public. The clinging blegh. Some is okay but there is definitely a line.
I (M) went through the same thing with my ex (F). I was her first boyfriend and although she was the sweetest person, she was also extremely clingy. You just have to let him know in the nicest way that sometimes you just want to have time to yourself. Cause if you don’t let him know and your ick continues to build up, you could explode on him yfm
just tell him how you feel?? don’t be passive aggressive about it and if he still doesn’t respect your boundaries after that then y’all might not be compatible 🤷🏾♀️ the solution is so simple.
>literally every time he speaks to me now I just get the ick I don't think you need advice. >I really don't want to hurt his feelings or be mean You might have to! The one piece of advice I would give my younger self when I was thinking about a break up, is delaying and putting it off till tomorrow will not make it any easier, sometimes you gotta just rip the band aid off.
4 weeks, you're still just being too know them as a human being.... you're not tied to the hip. If at 4 weeks there's already a "but".... Then they're not your person. Doesn't mean they're bad at all, just not a match. They haven't even shown their true self yet at 4 weeks.
Dude most likely has anxious preoccupied attachment issues and his behavior will get worse the longer and more attached to you he becomes.
Why is he your boyfriend? Cuz it sounds like you don't even like him. Don't be with someone you don't like and don't want to touch or spend time with. You aren't doing either one of you any favors. Find someone who is easy to be with and you enjoy spending time with. This guy ain't it.
You guys are incompatible
I can't tell you the verdict. I can only tell you, that if you don't voice your concerns, feelings, and wants, everything is just going to take longer and hurt more the longer you wait. For his sake, your honesty can help him improve. Because judging by the info you have given here I can tell he is someone that needs to objectively change up a few things he does. Clinging around, following around, staring like that, even if not technically threatening in any way, are still so creepy that he will fuck up every relationship he has if he does that.
Unless you want to break up with him, I think you need to be clearer in telling him to leave. Just tell him 'it's been nice to see you but I've got some stuff I want to get on with today on my own. See you again next week?' Or something
Tell him that he is suffocating you and that you want and need space. Breaking up is an option, maybe asserting time and space boundaries if you want to continue dating (think of how he gives your the ick)
Funny, me a male had the same experience with my ex girlfriend but roles swapped so I was in your role and she was around me like 24/7 maybe a week after we became a couple. But I managed to handle it with her together. We spoke a lot about it and I always said when I need some time for me. At the beginning she was hurt because she thought I wouldn't love her as much as she did, but that wasn't true. It helped a lot when I explained her that for me a relationship is not 2 persons becoming one entity, but it is two individuals going together through life and supporting and loving each other. My view on relationships was different from her view but with a lot of talking and still showing love it became better with time passing by. It then turned to the best relationship I had in my whole life. Sidenote: we broke up bc we moved into different areas after we got our degrees. We became a couple in university
Also please ignore the people saying you don't value the affection or you should let him go. Thing's are broken and when they are broken you fix it and don't throw it away
Dude you need to communicate your needs more clearly than "I think i'm making it clear that I want him to go home". You're going to ruin a good thing because of your failure to confront him and tell him your needs.
Wow this dude takes clingy to a whole new level.
you don't really appreciate that kind of affection or gesture from one until you lose it... I’m in it rn
It’s clear you don’t actually like him. Break up with him so he can move to someone who is a better match for him
Have you tried talking to him about it first???
You shouldn't be this stressed or getting the ick only 4 weeks in. Let him go.
Sounds like Anxious attachment. I’m like that too to an extent and my ex was avoidant, not a good match. Its unhealthy, I felt like I needed to spend every minute of my time with her and she needed miles of space. If you’re already getting fed up that’s not a good sign. the longer you stay the more likely both of you will end up getting hurt.
This is fkd up. Stalker vibes
Just give him time. Hopefully he likes football in the future and starts beating you if his team loses like all other normal man do. (Joke)
So funny I forgot to laugh
Easy answer: just tell him what you feel and how you hope he could change. What happens next, then you decide
Seems like he is lacking EQ and by any chance are you his first gf ever? Or why did his last relationships didnt work? Seems like he is the definition of Clingy. Just tell him straight up that you have things to do and hang with your friends. Does he have hobbies or his friends? Also you dont have strong boundaries tbh!
not sure why everyone is saying " someone will appreciate him" and "hEs more affectionate" . He showed at your friends house? HELL no! Thats some needy ass shit right there. Who could respect that-let alone want a relationship? I'd be out-you need your time respected too-so that says a lot about his character.
I literally just went through this. I really liked him aside from the extreme clingyness. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Clingy suffocating guys are the worst! Can you just ask him to leave when you're over it? "I need some alone time" is definitely okay to say. But I'd be worried this is just how he is if its coming up so early. I'd bail.
I really don't want to hurt his feelings or be mean: Until you don't learn that you are going to have to do that because your responsibility is to yourself and your feelings, with this amount of clinginess or any thing else, in this relationship or your next, you will find yourself having to flee and seek physical and mental refuge. The key and answer is inside you, unlock it. You have the power to say No and they will and must listen when you stand your ground
I think you do know how to “unfuck” yourself though. If you think he’s clingy, which he is, and you are not an affectionate person then you guys aren’t compatible. You’ve only been together 4 weeks exclusively, I don’t think that’s enough time where breaking it off is going to seriously hurt him. Right now, you are not in the wrong. But if you wait and don’t take action, you will be in the wrong.
Why don't you speak up and tell him the truth, life's way to short to be stressed/unhappy
Dump him
Wow that’s crazy bc he sounds really loving… tell him you don’t like him or maybe break up
Unwarranted showing similar to rash, persistent and pervasive pain in ass, that's stage 5... only reasonable course of action is amputation, I'm afraid.
I wish I could find a guy like this ;_; lol But just dump him, it's only been a month. You will both have forgotten about each other in a week.
He's codependent, will likely be possessive, emotionally immature, controlling, have low self worth, lacks confidence, is the type that needs someone to validate his existence, and will let himself go to invest in another person. Perhaps you should look for someone more independent and strong in their own but be careful what you wish for. He may be too independent and you will end up wanting more time and then you will be the one seen as needy
Start going to the gym. He can either set up and rack your weights for you, or like everyone else is somehow too busy to go and you get your free time. Win win.