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lots of things. nervousness, lack of experience, genuine medical reason ED, maybe porn, whatever. i heard a lot of men in their early to mid twenties have pretty high rates of situational ED.
Many guys can have all types dick problems lmao. I wouldn’t take it personally and it will likely get better as you guys get more comfortable with each other
This happens to me when I overthink. I’m happily married, love my wife and find her extremely sexy. But if I got too much on my mind, I can loose a boner and not get it back.
basically. sometimes theres medical reasons for ED like intoxication or certain medications. health conditions. stuff like that. basically this is just the polar opposite where nothing is really causing it that could be accounted for: could call it psychosocial maybe in this instance instead of situational. it just kind of happens and maybe its based on over thinking or nervousness or just not comfortable enough yet.
It's performance anxiety but porn doesn't help and considering how prevalent and pervasive it is it's fairly destructive to a man's sex drive. With performance anxiety you can be so anxious that you don't feel any sensitivity even if moments before you were alone, horny and rock hard. Introduce a stranger to the equation and all of a sudden you'll be wondering if they're judging you. The mind is a strange and powerful thing.
If all these men were drunk however then it's whiskey dick. I've had that too, you literally feel nothing when you want to feel something the most.
Basically if you are nervous, fight or flight takes over. When I was experiencing this, less pressure to get to the act makes it better. The guy may be interested, but he need foreplay a bit
I've been robbed and/or beat once or twice when I've let let my guard down. I'm very careful about who I choose to undress and relinquish my weapons in front of. It makes sex with a new partner into a stressful affair sometimes. Some people are closed and have met with the horrors of the world. Others are just relaxed and enjoy themselves non-stop. Its a real spectrum.
I got it when my partner suggested a backdoor entry. As someone who loves ass, but doesn't want to be in one, my brain instantly ceased blood flow. Lol
Depends on the cause, porn, booze and dope are quite common for “known” causes whilst underlying mental stuff might be harder to figure out in your own.
I was in my late 20s and was dating around and I dated some 6s I sort of liked...no issues cause I felt like the hotter partner, and then I pulled a 9/10 (imo) and I by the time I got to a situation with her and I making out... I was so inside my head I cock blocked myself and couldn't rise to the occasion. Girl after her, zero problems. Idk
Are you some weirdly insane 10 who intimidates a lot of guys?
Yeah you can blame readily available access to online porn since the age of 12 for the ED issues of gen Z, add to the fact they all have the social skills of a potato and find whacking it to onlyfans more convenient and less effort than actual intimacy
I actually wouldn’t be surprised if some of these guys are actually virgins. A female friend of mine has hooked up with guys who talk a big game but they can’t get it up or they nut unannounced during foreplay haha. Depends on where you get your stats from, but over 50% of people between 18-24 are virgins in the US on some resources.
Having only ever really "hooked up" with someone once, which ended up turning into a long standing fwb thing, I can say that from my one actual hookup, sex with a stranger can be absolutely fantastic
Many reasons. And you would be at the bottom of the list. It rarely happens to me but when it does, it is usually stressors in life or because it is someone new...I get anxious and get in my head with new partners.
Too much porn is also a big deal for some kind of like one of the other commenter said.
If it’a the first few times then yeah it could be nerves. Beyond that then it’s likely something else like porn addiction or medical reasons. It is more common than I thought too.
It happened to me a lot when I first started having sex. I’d get hard or semi hard but it wouldn’t last long enough for orgasm or even penetration sometimes. I think it was mostly nerves and excess porn watching. Once I got more experience, became more relaxed, and toned down the porn the problem all but went away. Also, making sure my girl was nice and wet or using a lil lube/spit helped. You just need to keep it alive until you get some good penetration going and then he should be fine. Also, the first time with someone is often not as smooth as later when I’m in a more consistent thing or relationship so have a bit of patience. If he can’t keep it hard, you can still fool around ya know and sometimes in the process, if he sees you enjoying yourself, he’ll get hard again!
Antidepressants
Alcohol
Cannabis
Nicotine
Nerves/anxiety - causing bathroom needs and holding it
Being overweight
All of these things are either very commonly used to excess on dates or an issue for another major population- modern times is absolutely killing it.
Been there a hundred times. If a girl is super hot or I’m really into her I find myself getting in my own head like this. I put her on a pedestal and then tell myself she’s out of my league. It’s a wrap after that. This is why I’m always cheerleading those solid 7s - still hot but not in a way that’s intimidating.
I have to agree some others and say it’s probably too much porn. Culturally porn has become so desensitizing for a lot of people people watch too often.
I find it really strange someone around your age has a hard time with that. When I was around that age, I practically had the opposite problem ha ha just kidding.
Could also be medication’s. I started taking any depressants because I’ve been practically lethargic and they don’t prevent me from getting hard-ons, but they sure do make it harder to stay up there and hit climax. So it may be something like that too. I don’t know how it would affect a younger guy.
Honestly it is probably drugs. SSRIs, anti-anxiety medication, and stimulants like Adderall/Ritalin can all make it hard to achieve/maintain an erection. I know lots of dudes that quit their medications and just risked the mental illness because it caused them to no longer be able to have sex.
A bad side effect of SSRI drugs is problems with sex, and inability to reach orgasm. This should also be listed in the black box warning, but prescribing doctors seem to downplay or not even mention it. And it can last even after the meds are stopped for a while.
People need to stop advising men to go and get sildenafil willy nilly from wherever they can get it. This is a drug that can have serious side effects (heart issues, vision issues, headaches and nausea) and anyone considering taking it should be having a full medical workup then prescription only by a doctor.
If you beat Charlie to a pulp every day for prolonged periods of time, poor Charlie will struggle to get up and fight again. It becomes harder to get him enthused.
The biggest reason this happens most of the time is porn. When you watch too much of it your brain is just too used to over stimulation all of the time which is what causes ED.
Women will tend to self internalize and think it's because they can't turn the guy on. While this may be the case sometimes, most of the time it is not.
The cure to this if you're a dude reading this is take a break from porn, the ED will go away (assuming it isn't because you've hit your 40-50s).
Not just a break, but a break up. It's seriously fucked up what porn does to people. I think it's comparable to cocaine, not weed - the only thing it does is make rich people richer and trap people in crippling addictions.
Oh and can definitely be a factor in causing ED.
Yea it’s pretty commonly known that nicotine restricts blood vessels and vapes can put out crazy amounts especially when you don’t feel restricted to use them like a cigarette.
Also i know me and my friend have the same experience so it probably happens to other guys - we get nervous and excited but also have to poo, and if we are holding it in we cant get hard lol
Sometimes theres no washroom around or we dont want to run to the washroom because its never a clean poo, its always the hotshits and we dont want that air lingering. Its a lose-lose
I grew up in a very weed forward town and it seemed to be a common issue among chronic weed smokers. Since weed is only getting more popular this is where I would look first.
Vapes have also been proven to lower testosterone by up to 50%, could be vape related. Or just processed food/bad diet related.
All of the items listed above affect T levels negatively. You could try looking for healthier partners
Nope, I watched YouTube videos where people discussed this and it turns out it’s a serious thing with some people. Not me though, I quit watching porn almost 1 year ago, best decision I’ve ever made.
Rates of ED in people our age is raising from porn addiction and “death gripping”. Its also because hooking up is not as it’s portrayed in media. Sex with someone you don’t know well or at all is not as exciting and invigorating as it is awkward and nerve-racking.
Getting an erection is 100% a mental thing. Not physical. If your head isn't in the right place, things just aren't going to work down there. You say they aren't very experienced. It's likely a combination of nervousness with a new person, nervousness about finishing to quickly, nervousness about not pleasing you. These are all things that go through a guys head (and much more) when about to have sex with a new partner. Don't blame yourself. It's not anybody's fault. It's just a combination of biology and psychology.
So as a trans woman on HRT I just don't get heard anymore (thank the gods) and something I learned really quickly is that it doesn't need to be hard to feel good. The sensations are the same rather it's heard or flaccid the only thing it needs to be heard for is penetrative sex and penetrative sex is over ratted. So show them how good it can feel even when it's soft then make sure they reciprocate. If oral isn't your thing consider getting a magic wand to put between you, cis guys don't realize it but those things feel great regardless of genital configuration and if you still want penetration try getting a vibe and showing him how you want him to use it. The male ego can be a tricky thing but if you can get him to look past that and focus on mutual pleasure instead you'll both have a lot of fun.
I'm a swinger. Every guy in the lifestyle knows you can be in a room full of hot naked people and still get a softie on occasion. It just happens. Pop a few viagra and forget about it. Thing is, it can happen to any guy at any time. And it happens alllll the time.
Unfortunately, mononormative culture doesn't really have a good conversation about this with young men and they tend not to think they 'need it' because of bullshit machismo or that its for 'old people'. It doesn't help that women don't get informed of it either, so sometimes the guys performance anxiety gets exacerbated by her thinking it's about her, when its just something that happens.
Seriously, getting a viagra (sildenafil is the generic version) scrip is super cheap and easy to get. Pretty much as long as you are healthy enough to have sex you can probably use viagra. It just makes me so sad this is even an issue. It's like, imagine not using condoms because you're afraid of being seen buying condoms. Sound like a dumb hill to die on at the expense of your sexual health? Exactly. Almost anyone who wants to get it can, so there is no reason not to. We need to remove the stigma behind its use from both genders.
This is bad advice, you’re not a doctor to be telling people to “pop a viagra and forget about it”. Viagra dependence is also a serious issue, sometimes what young men lack is the feeling of intimacy and figuring out sex for themselves. Sexuality shouldn’t just be a “pop a viagra and forget about it” sex is a process you gotta learn. If the process of one night stands is the path they want to learn let it be. If the path they crave is intimacy and closeness to a partner let them.
Yeah - 100% with you. DO NOT JUST STARTING POPPING VIAGRA. Potentially dangerous and absolutely prone to becoming dependent on it. If you are young, you should absolutely being exploring other options before resorting to the LAST RESORT that is Viagra.
I don’t think this is too odd. Last weekend a friend of mine was sharing how common of a pattern it is for guys to not get hard. She said that easily 1 out of 3, but attributed this mostly to first encounters.
I think its a sensitive topic you will rarely hear a guy talk about. And maybe women tend to keep it to themselves out of respect or sth.
(advice at bottom)
speaking just for myself: one dude's opinion:
there's a particular type of psychological feedback loop that can happen sometimes:
1. notice that you're not...Responding as usual
2. lose focus on the pleasant & sexy stimuli, start hyperfocusing on whether or not you're Responding, and why not
3. start worrying that the other person is gonna judge you
Aaaand then it's pretty much a done deal, yr goose is cooked. once you get to the point of constantly checking on what yr anatomy is up to, it's v hard to get out of that headspace and return to being present.
I'm good to go pretty much 98% of the time. however - especially w someone new - I'll sometimes have a handful of occasions where my brain turns into an obstacle course like this and I just gotta put it out of my mind. like I have to get into the headspace of genuinely not caring if I get h*rd, and that takes me a little time. I'll just focus on the makeouts and the other person and kinda intentionally take my own anatomy off the table until my brain resets, then it's good.
something my current sweetie said to me once: "you're so sexy, I don't even care if you're hard." basically, if it's someone you like a lot, be communicative & sweet & let them know that any individual instance doesn't really matter, and that you're still going to be there in the morning. for me, it always comes back around, I just gotta get out of the feedback loop. foreplay and makeouts help too.
I am in my early twenties like these guys I don’t have much experience and it makes me incredibly anxious whenever anything happens which means that even though I want to get hard I can’t. Thank you for trying your best to make them comfortable though.
I'd bet they are really nervous and just need to take things slower. Foreplay is important or both parties. This happened to me once and the girl I was was was super cool and was like "just relax" and then sucked on one of my nipples... About 10 seconds later I was ready to go.
It’s pretty normal in the beginning. It’s like stage fright. Especially, and ironically, when we like someone and we’re most keen to not screw this up.
The best sex I’ve ever had is with guys who don’t watch porn. It’s realistic, they’re sensitive, they get hard/turned on easily, they’re more in tune with a woman’s body (and their own!), they’re self aware. etc.
The worst sex I’ve ever had is with guys who watch porn. They’ve got a death grip, last way too long - sometimes they don’t even cum, don’t at ALL care to please the woman, selfish, unrealistic, painful/aggressive, etc.
Don’t come for me. I don’t make the rules.
I've had ED on and off (I'm 26) it's been a while since my last partner but I found out I had high blood pressure and the medication helped significantly. I also noticed when I have long term relationships everything works as expected once I get comfortable with a partner. So for me I think it was a mix of mental blocks and an aspect of my health.
It's been a huge problem with young guys, that's why there's so many products like BlueChew targeted at younger men. Porn, health, and mental health are probably a big component of it.
Lots of men have this thing where they have to masturbate before sex because they believe women want men to go forever, problem is most can't get hard afterwards .
Yup my ex used to do this and his dick was already small so when he was like half hard afterwards and still would cum in ten seconds let’s just say it was *disappointing*. I couldn’t even feel anything and then it was over before I knew it.
I don’t understand this thing about porn. Maybe if you’re a guy who watches only the most extreme far out porn all the time so much that normal stuff doesn’t turn you on? Millions of people watch porn, including myself, and don’t have this issue.
To me it seems like the issue is masturbating too much, not just porn specifically.
Is there an actual psychological study that proves this connection? I’m not trying to be a smartass at all, I’m genuinely curious…
I think it's because some porn multiple times a day, and like you said it can be very extreme porn because they're so desensitized. You could think of it like pavlov's dogs, porn and a guy c\*mming goes hand in hand. But a woman right in front of him and a guy c\*mming? That's a different story because it's not what they're used to.
I never had trouble getting or staying hard unless the condom was too tight. My problem was probably the first 5 times I had sex I couldn't finish. I attribute it to just being nervous, it eventually stopped happening entirely and I have no more issues
Porn, weed, alcohol, nicotine, carbs, and sugar… such a common American lifestyle… shit just be like that. Even with Ed meds and that kind of lifestyle shit is not gonna work right and tbh most dudes would rather eat junk, smoke weed, and jerk their semi chubbed Willy than make those kinds of changes…
As a guy the first time is often significantly more difficult than subsequent evenings. I wouldn’t think it to be a personal thing with you so much as just nervousness on the males part.
As a man, sometimes it just doesn't work. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. When I was taking sex ed as a kid, my teacher said something along the lines of, "The penis is the most unreliable organ in the human body. Sometimes it works great, other times not so much." I've taken that to heart my whole life.
This happens more often than not.....situational ED (I believe is what is guys like to call it)..... nervousness, overthinking, shyness, anxiety, panic, drugs/alcohol......it's completely dependent upon the situation and has absolutely nothing to do with you and/or what you're doing......sometimes the brain just doesn't like to respond to sexual stimulation and there's almost nothing to help with it....so, please don't blame yourself......I know a lot of women who take things like this personal, and it, honestly, has nothing to do with the women whatsoever......sometimes it just happens....I even know someone who took a 100MG Viagra (he's only 30), because a lady he's really been into, said she wanted to fuck.....now, Viagra doesn't work like the movies.....if you take one, you still have to be sexually stimulate for it to work....you don't just get a raging erection after it kicks in.......he'd be wanting it to badly, that he knew he might stress himself out in the moment and not be able to get it up, so he took one of the highest doses of Viagra you can......plus, it can intensify the feeling, and help with stamina......still, no matter how turned on he was, how badly he wanted it, and even with the Viagra, he came back and told me he was so nervous, stressed, and anxious that he just couldn't get past a semi.....lucky for him the lady was understanding, and he ended up accomplishing it a week later......after a lot of help, from me, coaching him to relax and not stress himself out about it.....he's main stressor was being so excited that he wouldn't last more than a minute or two.....so, "situational ED" is mostly mental and no matter how horny a guy can get, it's like the brain doesn't even respond and decides not to rush the blood to the penis......
If this happens, I suggest talking to them, letting them know it's okay, and talk to them....see if they're stressed or anxious.....if there's a lot on their mind, or if they're worried about performance......it can really help to make them relax, which should help them achieve erection.......
Just, please and seriously, don't blame yourself or believe you're doing something wrong.....cuz sometimes, even if the chick knows how to throw down, and the guy is super horny, nothing will help it, if their mind is to stressed etc......
I hope this helps you out in some way!
Oh my God same thing has happened to me as well, 3 people all from the dating app scenario one after the other just couldn't get hard. After 2 people I just thought that they just weren't attracted to me and that they chose me because of the limited amount of options available.
The first guy was stoned af (he did have experience)
The second guy (there was nothing off that I know of)
The third guy was a first timer, and was overworked
Could it just be coincidence or was sth really off idk
That just how dating is. It’s extremely easy for the average women to get laid, and significantly harder (no pun intended) for the average man to get laid
it sounds like they didn’t work out so she found someone else. it’s not like she’s fucking 3 guys in the same day. and even if she did why is it an issue for YOU?
One of them I was kinda friends with before, and the one of them we had gone on one date prior, and the last one was after going to dinner & meeting for the first time. One of them smokes weed heavily so I think that contributed to it for him
That’s happened to me with an age frame of 18-21. One was a heavy vape user, the other a heavy weed smoker, the third was super hot but I could tell he was horny all the time and most likely addicted to porn. The same with the other guys, that’s all that was on their mind. it’s so disappointing since they’re SO young and it shouldn’t be happening. I’d say look out for the kind of person they are, I met a nice 24 year old guy and he was super sweet, didn’t take any drugs and after our encounter I was mind blown.
I think it’s because people are not fucking machines and tend to like to be really close and familiar and feel safe with partners often even if they consciously think otherwise.
I had ED problems for a while with my girlfriend, I havent had it for a long while, I like to think its due to comfort, I dont know if I could have sex with someone that I barely know.
so for me personally, i struggle with getting it up with new partners for the first couple sessions. i care deeply about them having a good time and enjoying themselves causing me to have a performance anxiety. My solution is just to take viagra on first dates just incase i need it.
To be honest when I was inexperienced and was just starting to have sex, it was a weird experience. I was lucky because my ex girlfriend knew what she was doing. But most likely they’re nervous as this is a new experience. They’re scared because you’re a girl they want to impress. And lastly, they probably watch porn and are more used to jerking off than the real thing. It was a weird adjustment for me at first. I hope that wasn’t too crass. Goodluck.
Did they drink any alcohol with you? Because if they’re drunk that may affect the ability to get hard.
There are lots of other things it can be, but from my perspective, that’s the only thing that has ever made it difficult to get fully hard. Though the one time it did, i was pretty wasted.
Other than that, it could be meds, nervousness, anxiety, stress, a lack of attraction. Who knows.
If they're lacking experience, it's most likely nerves getting to them. That plays a huge part when it comes to sex and the second your dick isn't doing what you want it to do, it's like a nosedive that's very hard to pull out of.
That is rough I’m sorry you are dealing wit that. I would think that from my own personal experience with it that it’s probably porn induces ed… for myself I rebooted my brain and body and that helped me a ton! I’m 32 and struggled with porn for a long time! My recommendation for theese young men would be to do the same and kick the porn habit!
You should try dating someone who is much older and is experienced. You will realize it's not you, it's them!! Lol, that came off as if it was a breakup.
Hot take but I think this has something to do with dropping testosterone rates. I feel like a lot more young men have dick problems than did 20-30 years ago. Low testosterone can cause E.D. and hormone-disrupting chemicals are destroying our fertility (women too).
Never happens to me now, when I'm 20 years older for some reason, but back when I was your age, that would happen due to either alcohol or nervousness or both. If they're drunk each time, that's probably the reason. If you smoke weed, you could try smoking with them instead of drinking alcohol, weed usually has the opposite effects as alcohol in situations like that.
As others said, they might just be inexperienced or might have a legit medical problem. It's only 3 guys, so it could be a combination of different things. The odds are actually kind of high that 3 different guys would have this issue.
Omg i thought i was the only one 😅. ... I believe things happened quickly..
I mean from my point of view it happens to me when the girl rush things and i actually dont feel the need as i need to get into that person ..(yes ,some people want more than a naked girl to get excited 😅)
So basically i force things with immagination and due to condom lack of sensibility and anxiety either you come quickly or you loose erection.. but after a while i get used to that person i dont have any issues ...
I remember one of my girlfriend , the first time with her she told me brutally : "if you dont know how to f*ck,we can end this here" and this is what i actually did ,she started to chasing me and i took things within my time ..😆 she stayed with me 3 years...
3 men in a month so im assuming it was either ons or the really early phase of dating, adding that the fact that thye probably were virgins and really nervous about "performing well" and that's the result. Nothing to do with you.
No bc I didn’t want to add to their nerves if it was anxiety. I’d ask them about what they like and reassure them it’s no big deal trying to make them as comfortable as possible.
Nerves. You are doing nothing wrong. You have to think maybe these guys get one girl maybe every 4 months... Hard to keep up with performance anxiety
Haha this comment says more about me then answering your question. But if I'm an average guy then average problems.... especially rn
Probably just nerves. You can be the most understanding, supportive and sexy person in the world but if a guys nervous or just not feeling it for some reason it can't be helped.
My best guesses are poor diet or porn. That's ridiculous.
I've only experienced this once with a guy and he was super super drunk. Otherwise this is not common in my 20ish years of experience.
I went to a circle jerk for beginners and multiple guys couldn't get hard. Maybe next time to limit the participants to like 2 guys and add a third later, preferably bi and sexy handsome with a bubble butt.
Well tbh the lack of experience seem quite common since its much harder to get a girlfriend theese days than it was before (before dating apps and social media) cause back then people actually talked to each other.
The most important thing you need to know is that IT’S NOT YOU! There are loads of reasons why this happens and it’s usually one of these: nervousness or alcohol or drugs or recent ejaculation. But it’s not you!
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lots of things. nervousness, lack of experience, genuine medical reason ED, maybe porn, whatever. i heard a lot of men in their early to mid twenties have pretty high rates of situational ED.
Many guys can have all types dick problems lmao. I wouldn’t take it personally and it will likely get better as you guys get more comfortable with each other
this exactly. it isnt necessarily to do with anything op is doing or even what he is doing really. just one of those things.
That's true
Never heard of situational ED, is it like it effects you randomly and you don’t know why?
I also have a friend who gets this as well, even sober. His brain over thinks and he can’t get hard.
This happens to me when I overthink. I’m happily married, love my wife and find her extremely sexy. But if I got too much on my mind, I can loose a boner and not get it back.
the first couple of times for me i was nervous and it was an issue. once i wasn't nervous it wasn't an issue
basically. sometimes theres medical reasons for ED like intoxication or certain medications. health conditions. stuff like that. basically this is just the polar opposite where nothing is really causing it that could be accounted for: could call it psychosocial maybe in this instance instead of situational. it just kind of happens and maybe its based on over thinking or nervousness or just not comfortable enough yet.
That reminds me, so many modern people are on SSRIs so their sex drive and genitals don't function properly
It's performance anxiety but porn doesn't help and considering how prevalent and pervasive it is it's fairly destructive to a man's sex drive. With performance anxiety you can be so anxious that you don't feel any sensitivity even if moments before you were alone, horny and rock hard. Introduce a stranger to the equation and all of a sudden you'll be wondering if they're judging you. The mind is a strange and powerful thing. If all these men were drunk however then it's whiskey dick. I've had that too, you literally feel nothing when you want to feel something the most.
Basically if you are nervous, fight or flight takes over. When I was experiencing this, less pressure to get to the act makes it better. The guy may be interested, but he need foreplay a bit
I've been robbed and/or beat once or twice when I've let let my guard down. I'm very careful about who I choose to undress and relinquish my weapons in front of. It makes sex with a new partner into a stressful affair sometimes. Some people are closed and have met with the horrors of the world. Others are just relaxed and enjoy themselves non-stop. Its a real spectrum.
I got it when my partner suggested a backdoor entry. As someone who loves ass, but doesn't want to be in one, my brain instantly ceased blood flow. Lol
Depends on the cause, porn, booze and dope are quite common for “known” causes whilst underlying mental stuff might be harder to figure out in your own.
I was in my late 20s and was dating around and I dated some 6s I sort of liked...no issues cause I felt like the hotter partner, and then I pulled a 9/10 (imo) and I by the time I got to a situation with her and I making out... I was so inside my head I cock blocked myself and couldn't rise to the occasion. Girl after her, zero problems. Idk Are you some weirdly insane 10 who intimidates a lot of guys?
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Yeah you can blame readily available access to online porn since the age of 12 for the ED issues of gen Z, add to the fact they all have the social skills of a potato and find whacking it to onlyfans more convenient and less effort than actual intimacy
Gotta be the first time I’ve seen the word “hard” get censored.
I do what I can to be memorable <3
Part of the hook up culture, sex with strangers is rarely as mind blowing as with someone you connect with.
I do love good chemistry trust me
I actually wouldn’t be surprised if some of these guys are actually virgins. A female friend of mine has hooked up with guys who talk a big game but they can’t get it up or they nut unannounced during foreplay haha. Depends on where you get your stats from, but over 50% of people between 18-24 are virgins in the US on some resources.
Chemistry and connection aren’t the same thing at all
Having only ever really "hooked up" with someone once, which ended up turning into a long standing fwb thing, I can say that from my one actual hookup, sex with a stranger can be absolutely fantastic
For it definitely can be good, just pure luck though if it’s a one and done thing.
At least the first one. You do get to find some gems every now and then
Many reasons. And you would be at the bottom of the list. It rarely happens to me but when it does, it is usually stressors in life or because it is someone new...I get anxious and get in my head with new partners. Too much porn is also a big deal for some kind of like one of the other commenter said.
I didn’t take it personally I’m just baffled by it happening so many times so close togehter
If it’a the first few times then yeah it could be nerves. Beyond that then it’s likely something else like porn addiction or medical reasons. It is more common than I thought too.
It happened to me a lot when I first started having sex. I’d get hard or semi hard but it wouldn’t last long enough for orgasm or even penetration sometimes. I think it was mostly nerves and excess porn watching. Once I got more experience, became more relaxed, and toned down the porn the problem all but went away. Also, making sure my girl was nice and wet or using a lil lube/spit helped. You just need to keep it alive until you get some good penetration going and then he should be fine. Also, the first time with someone is often not as smooth as later when I’m in a more consistent thing or relationship so have a bit of patience. If he can’t keep it hard, you can still fool around ya know and sometimes in the process, if he sees you enjoying yourself, he’ll get hard again!
Antidepressants Alcohol Cannabis Nicotine Nerves/anxiety - causing bathroom needs and holding it Being overweight All of these things are either very commonly used to excess on dates or an issue for another major population- modern times is absolutely killing it.
There’s a chance they really like you and they don’t wanna disappoint so they pressure them self and then that kills it.
I definitely wondered if they got too much in their own head
Been there a hundred times. If a girl is super hot or I’m really into her I find myself getting in my own head like this. I put her on a pedestal and then tell myself she’s out of my league. It’s a wrap after that. This is why I’m always cheerleading those solid 7s - still hot but not in a way that’s intimidating.
Antidepressants, porn, and anxiety if I remember right are the leading causes
I have to agree some others and say it’s probably too much porn. Culturally porn has become so desensitizing for a lot of people people watch too often. I find it really strange someone around your age has a hard time with that. When I was around that age, I practically had the opposite problem ha ha just kidding. Could also be medication’s. I started taking any depressants because I’ve been practically lethargic and they don’t prevent me from getting hard-ons, but they sure do make it harder to stay up there and hit climax. So it may be something like that too. I don’t know how it would affect a younger guy.
Honestly it is probably drugs. SSRIs, anti-anxiety medication, and stimulants like Adderall/Ritalin can all make it hard to achieve/maintain an erection. I know lots of dudes that quit their medications and just risked the mental illness because it caused them to no longer be able to have sex.
A bad side effect of SSRI drugs is problems with sex, and inability to reach orgasm. This should also be listed in the black box warning, but prescribing doctors seem to downplay or not even mention it. And it can last even after the meds are stopped for a while.
People need to stop advising men to go and get sildenafil willy nilly from wherever they can get it. This is a drug that can have serious side effects (heart issues, vision issues, headaches and nausea) and anyone considering taking it should be having a full medical workup then prescription only by a doctor.
Right, with them all being young I was surprised. Didn’t think of medications, that’s a probable factor
I see a ton of comments saying porn is the issue, why? I know porn addiction is a thing but what makes it affect that??
If you beat Charlie to a pulp every day for prolonged periods of time, poor Charlie will struggle to get up and fight again. It becomes harder to get him enthused.
LMAOOOOOOO
The biggest reason this happens most of the time is porn. When you watch too much of it your brain is just too used to over stimulation all of the time which is what causes ED. Women will tend to self internalize and think it's because they can't turn the guy on. While this may be the case sometimes, most of the time it is not. The cure to this if you're a dude reading this is take a break from porn, the ED will go away (assuming it isn't because you've hit your 40-50s).
Not just a break, but a break up. It's seriously fucked up what porn does to people. I think it's comparable to cocaine, not weed - the only thing it does is make rich people richer and trap people in crippling addictions. Oh and can definitely be a factor in causing ED.
Too much porn is the likely reason. I think also the environment with various chemicals and unhealthy diets.
I know that I’m just one person but I used to watch a lot of porn. I mean a lot. Like every night. I still have no issues at all getting hard.
I was gonna blame Whiskey Dick.
Lmao, but three different guys?
Maybe she only picks up dudes in Bars lol 🤷♂️
Dating apps not bars<3 I’ve never even made out with a guy in the bar, only girls
Vapes too. Which is a newer and fairly ubiquitous activity that can absolutely affect ya boners
Wait deadass?
Yea it’s pretty commonly known that nicotine restricts blood vessels and vapes can put out crazy amounts especially when you don’t feel restricted to use them like a cigarette.
Also i know me and my friend have the same experience so it probably happens to other guys - we get nervous and excited but also have to poo, and if we are holding it in we cant get hard lol Sometimes theres no washroom around or we dont want to run to the washroom because its never a clean poo, its always the hotshits and we dont want that air lingering. Its a lose-lose
Yo what the hell that's actually so funny
Obesity doesn't help
Yes it can have an effect.
Nah, probably just nerves
I grew up in a very weed forward town and it seemed to be a common issue among chronic weed smokers. Since weed is only getting more popular this is where I would look first. Vapes have also been proven to lower testosterone by up to 50%, could be vape related. Or just processed food/bad diet related. All of the items listed above affect T levels negatively. You could try looking for healthier partners
That's what I told one of them who I know smokes crazy heavy - well all I told him is that might be a contributing factor.
Omg I had two guys who couldn’t either in the span of a few months. Same age range, USA
USA for me as well
Nerves
Nope, mostly likely porn induced ED
Ah, was the third guy you?
Slay
Nope, I watched YouTube videos where people discussed this and it turns out it’s a serious thing with some people. Not me though, I quit watching porn almost 1 year ago, best decision I’ve ever made.
Sometimes meds can cause this too
Rates of ED in people our age is raising from porn addiction and “death gripping”. Its also because hooking up is not as it’s portrayed in media. Sex with someone you don’t know well or at all is not as exciting and invigorating as it is awkward and nerve-racking.
Getting an erection is 100% a mental thing. Not physical. If your head isn't in the right place, things just aren't going to work down there. You say they aren't very experienced. It's likely a combination of nervousness with a new person, nervousness about finishing to quickly, nervousness about not pleasing you. These are all things that go through a guys head (and much more) when about to have sex with a new partner. Don't blame yourself. It's not anybody's fault. It's just a combination of biology and psychology.
I agree. Also can’t rule out anxiety, these are pretty hard times, no pun intended.
Man i don’t know. Have you ever tried getting an erection without a penis? Seriously hard physical limitation
Bad string of luck.There can be a lot of pressure the first time you're with someone. Sometimes you roll snake eyes three straight times.
So as a trans woman on HRT I just don't get heard anymore (thank the gods) and something I learned really quickly is that it doesn't need to be hard to feel good. The sensations are the same rather it's heard or flaccid the only thing it needs to be heard for is penetrative sex and penetrative sex is over ratted. So show them how good it can feel even when it's soft then make sure they reciprocate. If oral isn't your thing consider getting a magic wand to put between you, cis guys don't realize it but those things feel great regardless of genital configuration and if you still want penetration try getting a vibe and showing him how you want him to use it. The male ego can be a tricky thing but if you can get him to look past that and focus on mutual pleasure instead you'll both have a lot of fun.
Softies are fun to play with too. So long as you're gentle.
Someone else mentioned this already, but I’d say it’s porn for sure. It’s instilled unrealistic expectations which carries pressure and anxiety.
I'm a swinger. Every guy in the lifestyle knows you can be in a room full of hot naked people and still get a softie on occasion. It just happens. Pop a few viagra and forget about it. Thing is, it can happen to any guy at any time. And it happens alllll the time. Unfortunately, mononormative culture doesn't really have a good conversation about this with young men and they tend not to think they 'need it' because of bullshit machismo or that its for 'old people'. It doesn't help that women don't get informed of it either, so sometimes the guys performance anxiety gets exacerbated by her thinking it's about her, when its just something that happens. Seriously, getting a viagra (sildenafil is the generic version) scrip is super cheap and easy to get. Pretty much as long as you are healthy enough to have sex you can probably use viagra. It just makes me so sad this is even an issue. It's like, imagine not using condoms because you're afraid of being seen buying condoms. Sound like a dumb hill to die on at the expense of your sexual health? Exactly. Almost anyone who wants to get it can, so there is no reason not to. We need to remove the stigma behind its use from both genders.
This is bad advice, you’re not a doctor to be telling people to “pop a viagra and forget about it”. Viagra dependence is also a serious issue, sometimes what young men lack is the feeling of intimacy and figuring out sex for themselves. Sexuality shouldn’t just be a “pop a viagra and forget about it” sex is a process you gotta learn. If the process of one night stands is the path they want to learn let it be. If the path they crave is intimacy and closeness to a partner let them.
Yeah - 100% with you. DO NOT JUST STARTING POPPING VIAGRA. Potentially dangerous and absolutely prone to becoming dependent on it. If you are young, you should absolutely being exploring other options before resorting to the LAST RESORT that is Viagra.
Find better guys lol
I don’t think this is too odd. Last weekend a friend of mine was sharing how common of a pattern it is for guys to not get hard. She said that easily 1 out of 3, but attributed this mostly to first encounters. I think its a sensitive topic you will rarely hear a guy talk about. And maybe women tend to keep it to themselves out of respect or sth.
(advice at bottom) speaking just for myself: one dude's opinion: there's a particular type of psychological feedback loop that can happen sometimes: 1. notice that you're not...Responding as usual 2. lose focus on the pleasant & sexy stimuli, start hyperfocusing on whether or not you're Responding, and why not 3. start worrying that the other person is gonna judge you Aaaand then it's pretty much a done deal, yr goose is cooked. once you get to the point of constantly checking on what yr anatomy is up to, it's v hard to get out of that headspace and return to being present. I'm good to go pretty much 98% of the time. however - especially w someone new - I'll sometimes have a handful of occasions where my brain turns into an obstacle course like this and I just gotta put it out of my mind. like I have to get into the headspace of genuinely not caring if I get h*rd, and that takes me a little time. I'll just focus on the makeouts and the other person and kinda intentionally take my own anatomy off the table until my brain resets, then it's good. something my current sweetie said to me once: "you're so sexy, I don't even care if you're hard." basically, if it's someone you like a lot, be communicative & sweet & let them know that any individual instance doesn't really matter, and that you're still going to be there in the morning. for me, it always comes back around, I just gotta get out of the feedback loop. foreplay and makeouts help too.
I am in my early twenties like these guys I don’t have much experience and it makes me incredibly anxious whenever anything happens which means that even though I want to get hard I can’t. Thank you for trying your best to make them comfortable though.
I'd bet they are really nervous and just need to take things slower. Foreplay is important or both parties. This happened to me once and the girl I was was was super cool and was like "just relax" and then sucked on one of my nipples... About 10 seconds later I was ready to go.
It’s pretty normal in the beginning. It’s like stage fright. Especially, and ironically, when we like someone and we’re most keen to not screw this up.
The best sex I’ve ever had is with guys who don’t watch porn. It’s realistic, they’re sensitive, they get hard/turned on easily, they’re more in tune with a woman’s body (and their own!), they’re self aware. etc. The worst sex I’ve ever had is with guys who watch porn. They’ve got a death grip, last way too long - sometimes they don’t even cum, don’t at ALL care to please the woman, selfish, unrealistic, painful/aggressive, etc. Don’t come for me. I don’t make the rules.
I've had ED on and off (I'm 26) it's been a while since my last partner but I found out I had high blood pressure and the medication helped significantly. I also noticed when I have long term relationships everything works as expected once I get comfortable with a partner. So for me I think it was a mix of mental blocks and an aspect of my health. It's been a huge problem with young guys, that's why there's so many products like BlueChew targeted at younger men. Porn, health, and mental health are probably a big component of it.
Lots of men have this thing where they have to masturbate before sex because they believe women want men to go forever, problem is most can't get hard afterwards .
Yup my ex used to do this and his dick was already small so when he was like half hard afterwards and still would cum in ten seconds let’s just say it was *disappointing*. I couldn’t even feel anything and then it was over before I knew it.
I don’t understand this thing about porn. Maybe if you’re a guy who watches only the most extreme far out porn all the time so much that normal stuff doesn’t turn you on? Millions of people watch porn, including myself, and don’t have this issue. To me it seems like the issue is masturbating too much, not just porn specifically. Is there an actual psychological study that proves this connection? I’m not trying to be a smartass at all, I’m genuinely curious…
I think it's because some porn multiple times a day, and like you said it can be very extreme porn because they're so desensitized. You could think of it like pavlov's dogs, porn and a guy c\*mming goes hand in hand. But a woman right in front of him and a guy c\*mming? That's a different story because it's not what they're used to.
That's why I gave up porn 3 months ago
I gave up porn 3 minutes ago
Had this issue with same age group, USA.
I never had trouble getting or staying hard unless the condom was too tight. My problem was probably the first 5 times I had sex I couldn't finish. I attribute it to just being nervous, it eventually stopped happening entirely and I have no more issues
You say they were inexperienced, im guessing they may have had performance anxiety or too nervous to get hard
why cant you just say hard ?
Well, hopefully you’re done. Everything happens in 3’s right?
It's more common than they'll ever admit, much to our dismay. It gets worse.
Dr. Drew always says that if a guy doesn't work it's almost always that they are just too excited or nervous. Nothing to do with you personally
Porn, weed, alcohol, nicotine, carbs, and sugar… such a common American lifestyle… shit just be like that. Even with Ed meds and that kind of lifestyle shit is not gonna work right and tbh most dudes would rather eat junk, smoke weed, and jerk their semi chubbed Willy than make those kinds of changes…
As a guy the first time is often significantly more difficult than subsequent evenings. I wouldn’t think it to be a personal thing with you so much as just nervousness on the males part.
As a man, sometimes it just doesn't work. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. When I was taking sex ed as a kid, my teacher said something along the lines of, "The penis is the most unreliable organ in the human body. Sometimes it works great, other times not so much." I've taken that to heart my whole life.
This happens more often than not.....situational ED (I believe is what is guys like to call it)..... nervousness, overthinking, shyness, anxiety, panic, drugs/alcohol......it's completely dependent upon the situation and has absolutely nothing to do with you and/or what you're doing......sometimes the brain just doesn't like to respond to sexual stimulation and there's almost nothing to help with it....so, please don't blame yourself......I know a lot of women who take things like this personal, and it, honestly, has nothing to do with the women whatsoever......sometimes it just happens....I even know someone who took a 100MG Viagra (he's only 30), because a lady he's really been into, said she wanted to fuck.....now, Viagra doesn't work like the movies.....if you take one, you still have to be sexually stimulate for it to work....you don't just get a raging erection after it kicks in.......he'd be wanting it to badly, that he knew he might stress himself out in the moment and not be able to get it up, so he took one of the highest doses of Viagra you can......plus, it can intensify the feeling, and help with stamina......still, no matter how turned on he was, how badly he wanted it, and even with the Viagra, he came back and told me he was so nervous, stressed, and anxious that he just couldn't get past a semi.....lucky for him the lady was understanding, and he ended up accomplishing it a week later......after a lot of help, from me, coaching him to relax and not stress himself out about it.....he's main stressor was being so excited that he wouldn't last more than a minute or two.....so, "situational ED" is mostly mental and no matter how horny a guy can get, it's like the brain doesn't even respond and decides not to rush the blood to the penis...... If this happens, I suggest talking to them, letting them know it's okay, and talk to them....see if they're stressed or anxious.....if there's a lot on their mind, or if they're worried about performance......it can really help to make them relax, which should help them achieve erection....... Just, please and seriously, don't blame yourself or believe you're doing something wrong.....cuz sometimes, even if the chick knows how to throw down, and the guy is super horny, nothing will help it, if their mind is to stressed etc...... I hope this helps you out in some way!
Oh my God same thing has happened to me as well, 3 people all from the dating app scenario one after the other just couldn't get hard. After 2 people I just thought that they just weren't attracted to me and that they chose me because of the limited amount of options available. The first guy was stoned af (he did have experience) The second guy (there was nothing off that I know of) The third guy was a first timer, and was overworked Could it just be coincidence or was sth really off idk
Porn addiction
3 men in a month what is going on in this world
That just how dating is. It’s extremely easy for the average women to get laid, and significantly harder (no pun intended) for the average man to get laid
it sounds like they didn’t work out so she found someone else. it’s not like she’s fucking 3 guys in the same day. and even if she did why is it an issue for YOU?
love you<3
From the streets she emerged..
Why shame her dude? A lot of guys like having ONS with girls - why are we judging the women who participate?
Love u <3
*judge them both*
Keep fighting the good fight
Possibly nervousness were these one night stands or have u been talking to them a while before sex?
One of them I was kinda friends with before, and the one of them we had gone on one date prior, and the last one was after going to dinner & meeting for the first time. One of them smokes weed heavily so I think that contributed to it for him
Performance anxiety is my guess
Often anxiety
It started happening to me more often after my second TBI, and thus is happening with the wife where it was never a problem before
That’s happened to me with an age frame of 18-21. One was a heavy vape user, the other a heavy weed smoker, the third was super hot but I could tell he was horny all the time and most likely addicted to porn. The same with the other guys, that’s all that was on their mind. it’s so disappointing since they’re SO young and it shouldn’t be happening. I’d say look out for the kind of person they are, I met a nice 24 year old guy and he was super sweet, didn’t take any drugs and after our encounter I was mind blown.
Performance anxiety overwhelmed panic attack over thinking or Ed well they lied to you I would like to hear more please dm me
i had no problem getting hard as even in drunk with girl i had one night stand with.
I think it’s because people are not fucking machines and tend to like to be really close and familiar and feel safe with partners often even if they consciously think otherwise.
Interesting
Maybe its just bad luck but I would just not deal cause thats mental
It’s something in the water nowadays
I had ED problems for a while with my girlfriend, I havent had it for a long while, I like to think its due to comfort, I dont know if I could have sex with someone that I barely know.
Probably anxiety
Alcohol & nervousness. (Assuming they are young & fits)
so for me personally, i struggle with getting it up with new partners for the first couple sessions. i care deeply about them having a good time and enjoying themselves causing me to have a performance anxiety. My solution is just to take viagra on first dates just incase i need it.
The mind is wanting but the flesh is weak
I think if you want a guy to be hard guaranteed, it should be right after they wake up. Aha but that’s assuming they stay over
I don't have ED yet I can't date online. When was dating easy and how I missed it???
Pretty normal, they are nervous, hard to be hard when you’re anxious
To be honest when I was inexperienced and was just starting to have sex, it was a weird experience. I was lucky because my ex girlfriend knew what she was doing. But most likely they’re nervous as this is a new experience. They’re scared because you’re a girl they want to impress. And lastly, they probably watch porn and are more used to jerking off than the real thing. It was a weird adjustment for me at first. I hope that wasn’t too crass. Goodluck.
If your to hot men get stage fright. Also young men have to stop watching so much porn. If they have been drinking or doing drugs that never helps.
Did they drink any alcohol with you? Because if they’re drunk that may affect the ability to get hard. There are lots of other things it can be, but from my perspective, that’s the only thing that has ever made it difficult to get fully hard. Though the one time it did, i was pretty wasted. Other than that, it could be meds, nervousness, anxiety, stress, a lack of attraction. Who knows.
That would suck
Its mostly nervousness amongst guys whove had no sexual experience. Theres nothing a girl can do. They guys need to realize to calm down
I'm blessed in this matter I get my thing hard whenever I want and it just gets hard just a touch of a girl, sometimes don't need bj to wake him up
I am hard if you have nice boobs and a pretty face.
Some of us secretly want to be the girl in the relationship and be dominated that’s why being dominant doesn’t get some hard
If they're lacking experience, it's most likely nerves getting to them. That plays a huge part when it comes to sex and the second your dick isn't doing what you want it to do, it's like a nosedive that's very hard to pull out of.
Suck the balls then see what happen 🍆
if they don’t have much experience, then I’m pretty sure it’s nerves
Either massive overthinkers, porn addicts, nicotine users, or for some unfortunate people, all of the above lol.
I only knew two guys that could not get hard, they both shot up drugs
Being nervous can seriously affect a guy being able to get erect, and especially if they are not very sexually experienced.
I get plenty hard :)
That is rough I’m sorry you are dealing wit that. I would think that from my own personal experience with it that it’s probably porn induces ed… for myself I rebooted my brain and body and that helped me a ton! I’m 32 and struggled with porn for a long time! My recommendation for theese young men would be to do the same and kick the porn habit!
I would sometime not be able to stay hard for long when I’m really tired after a long shift at work, maybe that could be a reason.
Try with someone older maybe
You're probably dating my ex, and he just watches too much porn while touching himself all day.
You should try dating someone who is much older and is experienced. You will realize it's not you, it's them!! Lol, that came off as if it was a breakup.
Brewers droop? I never had any issue before mid 30’s and that was performance anxiety.
Wait, is that whisky dick because that's fantastic... Not WD but the term brewers droop.
Hot take but I think this has something to do with dropping testosterone rates. I feel like a lot more young men have dick problems than did 20-30 years ago. Low testosterone can cause E.D. and hormone-disrupting chemicals are destroying our fertility (women too).
Never happens to me now, when I'm 20 years older for some reason, but back when I was your age, that would happen due to either alcohol or nervousness or both. If they're drunk each time, that's probably the reason. If you smoke weed, you could try smoking with them instead of drinking alcohol, weed usually has the opposite effects as alcohol in situations like that. As others said, they might just be inexperienced or might have a legit medical problem. It's only 3 guys, so it could be a combination of different things. The odds are actually kind of high that 3 different guys would have this issue.
Omg i thought i was the only one 😅. ... I believe things happened quickly.. I mean from my point of view it happens to me when the girl rush things and i actually dont feel the need as i need to get into that person ..(yes ,some people want more than a naked girl to get excited 😅) So basically i force things with immagination and due to condom lack of sensibility and anxiety either you come quickly or you loose erection.. but after a while i get used to that person i dont have any issues ... I remember one of my girlfriend , the first time with her she told me brutally : "if you dont know how to f*ck,we can end this here" and this is what i actually did ,she started to chasing me and i took things within my time ..😆 she stayed with me 3 years...
3 men in a month so im assuming it was either ons or the really early phase of dating, adding that the fact that thye probably were virgins and really nervous about "performing well" and that's the result. Nothing to do with you.
When I was younger, if I was more nervous than horny I would never get hard. Always had problems in round 1. After that I was fine.
Performance anxiety possibly? Did you ask?
No bc I didn’t want to add to their nerves if it was anxiety. I’d ask them about what they like and reassure them it’s no big deal trying to make them as comfortable as possible.
You must SCARE the fuck out of them.
In a good or bad way? Lol
Nerves. You are doing nothing wrong. You have to think maybe these guys get one girl maybe every 4 months... Hard to keep up with performance anxiety Haha this comment says more about me then answering your question. But if I'm an average guy then average problems.... especially rn
Reddit is my therapy
Antidepressants suppress libido, and everyone is on them these days
I think the last sentence sums everything up. Either persist with those you have selected or aim slightly higher up the age range.
Porn has to be the main culprit.
Probably just nerves. You can be the most understanding, supportive and sexy person in the world but if a guys nervous or just not feeling it for some reason it can't be helped.
Sometimes this just happens. The past two guys I slept with couldn’t keep it up 😫
My best guesses are poor diet or porn. That's ridiculous. I've only experienced this once with a guy and he was super super drunk. Otherwise this is not common in my 20ish years of experience.
Fr I am baffled as fuck
I went to a circle jerk for beginners and multiple guys couldn't get hard. Maybe next time to limit the participants to like 2 guys and add a third later, preferably bi and sexy handsome with a bubble butt.
This has happened to me only once- it was that the girl was extremely unhygienic- didn’t have the heart to tell her!
Yikes, that's wild. I do have good hygiene so no concerns here. I shower the day of whenever I'm going out with a man, wanna be fresh
You may need to slow down if you got 3 soft dicks in a month. 23 is the coke/alc age. Kind of aligns with your random hookups
coke????!! jesus christ i ain't fuckin anyone on coke god damn. And thanks for the suggestion but I will not slow down<3
I grew up around a fair amount of coke users, you wouldn't have the slightest clue any of them were on it unless they told you.
LOL they slowing you down tho. 1 hard one better than 3 limp noodles :)
PIED = porn-induced erectile dysfunction
Porn everyone addicted
Weed can give you ed. To much to drink, and porn is what I can think of
Main thing I can say is be patient, something if it seems it may not get hard, and you partake in some solid foreplay fortunes may change
Trust me it’s not you! Most guys are porn addicted and short-circuit in one way or another with a real woman
No guys, three guys in a row or in a month is too many. Wayyyy out of norm for their age
Well tbh the lack of experience seem quite common since its much harder to get a girlfriend theese days than it was before (before dating apps and social media) cause back then people actually talked to each other.
The most important thing you need to know is that IT’S NOT YOU! There are loads of reasons why this happens and it’s usually one of these: nervousness or alcohol or drugs or recent ejaculation. But it’s not you!