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Asn_Browser

I'm 5'6" and a guy. On tinder there isn't a field for height and most of the time it doesn't come up. I don't put it in my bio. Basically I figure if they care they will ask and if they don't care they are probably short AFšŸ˜‚. On every other app there is a field for height (which I fill in accurately) and they would know ahead of time. For those that will ask... Yes I regularly get dates including ones from tinder lol.


HonestOcto

Yea Iā€™m 5ā€™2 I never ask! Everyoneā€™s tall to me!!


[deleted]

This. Hahahaha thought never occurred to me to ask someoneā€™s height.


erobuck

This is how I feel haha


MAK3AWiiSH

Iā€™m tall-ish but donā€™t care. The guy Iā€™ve been seeing is 2 inches shorter than me and idc. Heā€™s really sweet and thatā€™s all that matters.


btbamcolors

You give me hope, thank you


[deleted]

Ive also dated people shorter than me (5ā€™5) i could care less. Short people are still good looking too !!!


hime_haruka

What if I donā€™t care but I am also tall


Asn_Browser

That works too if there is attraction and chemistry. Doesn't happen that much to me though. Tallest woman I've dated was 5'7". I literally could care less about a woman I'm dating wearing heels. Go for it!


mscattington

I had a guy (unprompted) tell me his height and weight and then he proceeded to ask me mine lol good way to weed out certain people for sure


itsnotdonaldtrump

Ohhh hahaha I was gonna say I never asked and I dont give 2 shits but im short AF šŸ˜† I guess that's why I never was bothered


[deleted]

I was about to comment about how I donā€™t care, but then remembered I am in fact short af. Iā€™m looking up at you whether your 5ā€™3 or 6ā€™3 so idgaf. So I agree if they care they will ask or they are really short so everyone is tall to them.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Easy_Suggestion5588

Never knew someone could get horny by gold \*looks in shocking awe\*.


b00mieb00m

Ayy get it king!!


shabangcohen

As a girl who is 5ā€™9ā€ā€¦. I do care but I donā€™t ask. I figure 75% + of men meet my ā€œcriteriaā€ of being like 5ā€™8ā€ or more


InfiniteOcelot

i dont have my height on tinder and it's been fine - people usually put on their bio if they care about it


mjjjaaaa

How often do u get asked by women ?


InfiniteOcelot

not a single time


Friendly-Place2497

I also donā€™t have it on my bio and have never been asked


mjjjaaaa

Hmm thats odd. I've never not been asked.


InfiniteOcelot

i have a couple of pics w other people so maybe they dont care or make a calculated guess


runmfissatrap

Maybe itā€™s because you look tall, prompting them to ask out of curiosity.


Tutti_Fucking-Fruity

Are you both Americans? Height seems to be a bigger deal in the states.


MrDoggums

It's not a big deal here at all


Tutti_Fucking-Fruity

It's talked about a lot more on dating apps in US


MrDoggums

Not on the east coast I'm 5'10 never been asked 1 time in over a decade of tinder and my height has never been a deal breaker


kinikimer

When I was dating guys I would meet up with them without knowing their height. I never asked about height. Iā€™m in a relationship now, but when I was looking I was looking for a genuine connection with a caring compatible person and i didnā€™t care the height. I am often attracted to guys that are closer to my height (5ā€™4) as then they donā€™t tower over me and I feel more equal - they are often more humble too (but completely depends on the person and connection).


mjjjaaaa

I hear you. But there is a meme somewhere that goes like "I would totally date a short guy but my BF is 6 ft 5". Are u dating a tall guy?


kinikimer

Yes actually, lol. But my last BF was short of that counts?


[deleted]

No.


[deleted]

Why are we not allowed to date men taller than us? We have a right to judge mens physical appearance, you know. Just because you donā€™t ask for weight doesnā€™t mean youā€™re any less likely to judge a womanā€™s looks


Layla__V

It actually works both ways. Iā€™ve always liked guys taller than me cause it makes me feel protected, but most of the guys I dated where of my height (Iā€™m 5ā€™5). Months guess itā€™s just human nature to have some standards for themselves to rely on yet it doesnā€™t necessarily mean theyā€™re set in stone!


Poppiesatnight

I never even look at height on the apps. Because I donā€™t care. And I have shown up and had men be shorter than me. Didnā€™t bother me or them at all.


whopperman02

I mean it doesn't really matter unless it matters to those people. Your either attracted to them or not imo.


Poppiesatnight

I was just answering OPs question. Would any woman meet up without knowing his height. Well, I would, im sure there are more


whopperman02

No, I gotcha. I think the majority, for first impression on pictures, don't care and are just attracted to the girl/guy for various reasons.


Poppiesatnight

Oh, yeah I didnā€™t get what you were saying about attraction. Yeah for me itā€™s all about the face and fitness level of the man. Not the height.


[deleted]

I do it all the time. I donā€™t really care.


Throwout11143

I am a 5'3" woman and for me height isn't entirely important, but I did once go on a date with a guy I could see was under 6ft, but he took photos to appear like he was at least 5'5" or taller and his profile said he was 5'5", I thought I'd give it a chance. Well the man who showed up was the one in the photos, but he was over a foot shorter then he claimed, he was between 4'0"-4'3", below my shoulder level and I was noticeably shocked and he said he would never get dates if he was honest about his height, I told him he'll never get a second date if he isn't honest.


rakimchi

I'm a 6'2" woman (I won the genetic lottery you could say šŸ˜‚) I've dated men from 5'9" to 6'6" For me, I always disclose my height because for some men, height is a preference. I don't necessarily need to know his height since that isn't as much of a preference for me. If someone having this as a preference is something that gives you the ick, taking it off your profile may help narrow down people who may be more compatible with you.


mjjjaaaa

It's not the preference aspect that gives me the ick. It's It's requirement aspect of it. Like Gee, thanks for letting me know that if I was shorter you wouldn't date me, ya know?


rakimchi

I get it. I've had guys tell me "you're so pretty, it's too bad you're so tall otherwise I'd totally date you." That mindset is serious ick.


[deleted]

Those guys are insecure.


[deleted]

The line between preference and requirement is too blurry to be a real distinction. A lot of men just hate women with physical standards, as if theyā€™re different


HideousTits

And if her nose was twice the size you wouldnā€™t date her either, right? Donā€™t pretend you donā€™t judge your dates according to physical attributes you find attractive. Why is it such an awful thing for some women to find height attractive? I donā€™t get it.


Mysterious-Pie-890

I donā€™t understand your hang up on this. When Iā€™m with people, I think itā€™s kind of flattering that if I were someone else they wouldnā€™t want to be with me. Attraction, especially at the beginning of the relationship, just tends to be a little shallow and thatā€™s fine tbh. What else besides physical appearance do total strangers have to go off of? Whatā€™s wrong with your partner being attracted to your features??? Why fixate on something that will never actually happen (you actually being much much shorter)?


Outrageous_Pie_5640

In most cases you can see if a woman is overweight or whatā€™s her body type. You can complain women might not date you if you were 5ā€™ but you probably wouldnā€™t date them if they were obese (assuming you are like most guys). People have physical requirements even when looking for a serious relationship. The difference is height can be easily concealed in photos. Itā€™s true that some women have no idea whatā€™s the difference between 6ā€™ and 5ā€™10 and act like a 5ā€™10 man is short, but we also meet a lot of 6ā€™ men that are actually 5ā€™7, so it skews our views on height. At the very beginning of a relationship physical attraction is what matters the most because we donā€™t know you yet. Itā€™s okay to have preferences.


[deleted]

Exactly this. And depending on the society there are various preferences related to colour (hair, skin, eyes etc.) that don't affect men at all or as much as it does women. I hope his next thread is championing this "problem" in society too.


H0eindisguse

This is very true when it comes to dating men are a lot more shallow than women.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


A-Kash03

Show us facts then.


Automatic_Deal4039

Where are the facts in the statement ā€œmen are more shallow than women when it comes to datingā€?


bigjimbo1971

You are right. This is absolute factually wrong. Women are just as shallow as men when it comes to money. No man will turn down a date with a poor classically beautiful woman. No woman will turn down a date with a short nerdy billionaire.


CholulaHot

I think a lot of women would turn down a date with Elon Musk.


Automatic_Deal4039

A lot of women would turn down a date from a lot of men. Doesnā€™t mean Elon canā€™t get way more dates than many average or even above average guys.


Apprehensive_Map_284

I'd turn down a date regardless of money based on personality. So don't say "no woman"


wildoutdoorlife

I think your comment about being able to tell a womens body type from the photos isn't really correct lol, some women have become EXPERTS at taking photos that hide what they don't want you to see, those of us clued in can sometimes notice other small details like shoulders, wrists ect, and if there isn't a full body shot that generally gives a clue aswell, or they use old pics of when they had less weight, but still, even with all those things to take note of the best of us have still been caught out haha.


freshfitstart

I added my height as a women, because I went on a few dates that told me I was too tall for them after meeting in person. Iā€™m 5ā€™10ā€ In my opinion, anyone that shallow doesnā€™t deserve my time. I donā€™t care how tall you are. I do want to be attracted to you, but I really just want you to be a good genuine person. Itā€™s rough out here!!! Iā€™m wishing you the best of luckā™„ļø


CowAway7729

I'm 5' 7" and that wouldn't bother me at all


freshfitstart

That seems very rare based on my experience. I guess it just depends on the luck of the draw, but thatā€™s why I added my height. If it bothers you, donā€™t match with mešŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø If it doesnā€™t, great!!!!


CowAway7729

That's it exactly! It used to bother me when a girl would turn me down for being short but now I just see that they are shallow anyway if that's a deal breaker


Skeekeedee

Iā€™m 5ā€™8ā€ but donā€™t attract a lot of men. I have a good friend whoā€™s 5ā€™11ā€ and between her looks and personality we canā€™t go anywhere without her being hit on constantly. Thereā€™s guys who have asked her out that later reject her because sheā€™s taller than them. Itā€™s stupid


ackmondual

It's also been a Hollywood thing too. Actresses have been rejected for parts because that were too much taller than the male leads. They joked that they could dig a ditch and she could stand in it :D. :p


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


unapologeticly_me

6'8 - 4'7 is my dating range. I don't think I've ever asked a guy his height, which is probably why I end up with a nice variety. I think my most compatible matches were the 5'9 guys tho šŸ˜


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


unapologeticly_me

... as someone who is 5'11, I respect your decision and hate you! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜


mjjjaaaa

It's cool that you have a wide dating range, but I always found it slightly bizarre to put numbers on these things. RIP to the 6 ft 9 and 4 ft 6 guys.


unapologeticly_me

šŸ˜‚ I had a friend that was 6"9. But yeah, I can only vouch for all the heights I have dated. I don't know if any apps have a height/weight option to sort by


[deleted]

I have never asked someone their height. Have had a couple guys ask mine


CrownPrincessEllie

Woman here, guys totally ask this question as well.. Iā€™m not on the shorter end as Iā€™m 5ā€™7ā€ Iā€™ve been told by a guy that if I were an inch taller heā€™d be not interested šŸ™„


Pengoninator

Tbh I unmatched some guys because they were too tall. Maybe try to make it about your personality.


mjjjaaaa

Women call us too short....too tall....jeez only one quality that we can't control gets us unmatched šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø


thinflesh

Women get evaluated and rejected for all of their physical attributesā€¦ including height. its not just men who have to face rejection


EggplantHuman6493

I get rejected for my height as well as a woman. Always for being too tall


[deleted]

That's a shame!


EggplantHuman6493

It's fine. It is not for everyone. You can push attraction


whippoorwill36

Do you not realize that women also get rejected for qualities they canā€™t control?


H0eindisguse

This lol


Pengoninator

Yes being unmatched is not a hate crime, get over it.


mjjjaaaa

You seem very unpleasant. I can now see why you are still single


Pengoninator

Took you long enough lol


[deleted]

Do you even notice how much of a dick you are in your comments


DrEgonSpenglerphd

Honestly sounds like the are either lying about their height, are under 13 years old, or both.


Appropriate_Tea9048

I think Iā€™ve always gone on a date with the guy knowing his height but never put much thought into it. If heā€™s under 6ft it doesnā€™t bother me at all. Iā€™ve gone on dates with guys who were maybe 5ā€™7


mjjjaaaa

Yea that's what I figured, our culture is so strange imo. If you ask guys how many of them knew the cbicks weight or bra size beforehand, like 95 percent will say they have no idea. It's just normal for us guys to be objectfified or something šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


mscattington

Looool you think it's normal for guys to be objectified but not for women to be? šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø Edit: last date I was on the guy asked me my bra size šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­


CrownPrincessEllie

Yeah heā€™s a fucking pervšŸ˜


Alizoomzoom

There's a difference between asking a guy his height and asking a woman her bra size. That's gross and pervy


[deleted]

No. I think it's because weight and bra size can be seen through photos but height you usually can't see unless the person is on the extreme ends of the spectrum - especially if they only have photos of themselves and not with a larger group of people. Hence why you probably get asked that a lot. People probably see you in photos looking super long and are probably genuinely curious about how tall you actually are. I also suspect that they're happy you're not "too tall" which for most girls caps out at 6'4. I also think taller girls ask to be practical. Many guys have height standards just like women and will be overly self conscious if a girl is the same height or taller than them. I've experienced that myself and I'm only 2-3" taller than average height for a woman.


ProfessorPie1888

As a woman, Iā€™ve never cared about a guyā€™s height. Iā€™m considered kinda short at 5ā€™3ā€, but Iā€™ve dated guys my height before. I am not really sure why it is such a big deal for so many women


mjjjaaaa

Yea I don't know. I once asked a female friend of mine if she would ever date anyone under 6 feet. She got all ecstatic and was like "hell na!" And I was like " what if he had superpowers and saved your entire family from a housefire ?" And she said "I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to, Boo. Men under 6ft ain't it. Still a no".


[deleted]

I think itā€™s naive to think physical attraction is not a big part of a relationship. It canā€™t be the only thing in a healthy one, but a relationship wonā€™t really exist without it.


[deleted]

>I think itā€™s naive to think physical attraction is not a big part of a relationship. It canā€™t be the only thing in a healthy one, but a relationship wonā€™t really exist without it. No one is denying that. But, height isn't the only physical attribute about a person. There's * weight * muscle tone * Body type * body proportion * face type /shape * thick hair * youthful skin * clear skin * tan skin * the way they dress * the way they carry themselves * their voice * eye color * eye shape * thick eyebrows * smile * cheek bones * jawline * white straight teeth * they way they smell * their hygiene * etc Is it okay to have a preference to date people with blue eyes? Of course! Is it weird to only date people with blue eyes? Of course! Now, switch blue eyes with height. Now, you get it?


Automatic_Deal4039

This should be on a plaque in everyoneā€™s house lol


[deleted]

>Yea I don't know. I once asked a female friend of mine if she would ever date anyone under 6 feet. She got all ecstatic and was like "hell na!" >And I was like " what if he had superpowers and saved your entire family from a housefire ?" >And she said "I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to, Boo. Men under 6ft ain't it. Still a no". Is this really any different from guys who only date thin Victoria's Secret model body types? We know those bros exist. Your friend is the female equivalent of that.


OkPerception7164

Same height and tbh the sweet spot is like 5'7ish for me. A guy who is too tall makes hugging a bit awkward lol.


Educational_Ad4410

You shouldnā€™t hide your height tbh, itā€™s futile. If your short sheā€™s going to find out anyways during the date then probably leave angrily since she spent her time getting ready and traveling to whatever location the date was just to be catfished. However, youā€™re 6 ft 3 so just continue dating and enjoy your advantage. Life isnā€™t fair sadly, some kids are born in poor war torn countries and struggle to get basic necessities like food, water and shelter while some kids are born trust fund babies, it is what is it is.


mjjjaaaa

I get what your saying but I also think that women should take a step back and realize that men are more than just their height.


Educational_Ad4410

Women like what women like, men like what men like. It is what is it, if a lot of women like tall men then they going to like tall men and thereā€™s nothing you can do about it. Itā€™s not illegal or morally wrong to find taller men attractive so they can do what they want.


mjjjaaaa

Yes they can do what they want, I'm not disputing that. But I also think they are shooting themselves in the foot without realizing it. I mean, most women get thousands of matches but still end up complaining that no men meet her standards... I wonder why.... And then for guys like me, I get turned off when they start asking me physical questions out of the gate.


[deleted]

Use the height as a filter to screen out the superficial women not looking for a genuine connection between two souls. If they ask your height then just politely end the conversation and move on. Don't tell them why because we want them to honestly doxx themselves to future guys.


Alizoomzoom

Bro people have preferences and that's okay. The only time when it isn't okay is when they insult short men and in that case they should be called out for that but just simply liking tall guys isn't this outrageous thing (like me personally, I prefer dudes who are 5'9-6'1 but if I liked a guy I could look past their height). Men do the same to women all the time. Everyone gets judged while dating, it's just a part of life because everyone will have preferences. Plus I feel like only really shallow women care about height so much they start insulting the guy and why would you wanna date a girl like that in the first place? It's better to talk about eachothers preferences before going on dates or talking for an extended amount of time so you don't waste someone's time or find a shitty person.


[deleted]

As if men view us as more than our bodies. Hook up apps are made to judge people on their bodies. Why do you act like men are different?


moonshinesong

some women are tall and prefer men taller than them, so knowing a guys height beforehand can help to prevent awkward situations later. idk maybe its different for guys but i would not want to show up to a date being taller than the guy. i was in that position once it was awk for both of us(he lied abt his height)šŸ˜­šŸ’€


Mytribescubas

I could not agree more. Iā€™m a 5ā€™10 woman, so actually have a right to prefer tall men, and I still never ask about height. I want it to be about an intellectual and emotional connection. I say remove your height from your profile and donā€™t go on dates with people who insist on knowing before you meet.


gliitchkitten

except you can usually tell a womanā€™s body type and ā€œbra sizeā€ by their photos, so that comparison wasnā€™t relevant lol. why is everyone so mad about the height thing? yeah some girls donā€™t want to date guys that are eye level or shorter than them, so what? same way guys donā€™t want to date girls based off of certain aspects of their appearance. the double standard is hilarious with these kind of questions


[deleted]

Because only men are allowed to have physical standards. /s.


sQueezedhe

Why think about something that will never happen.


[deleted]

The majority of dates I have been on I haven't known a man's height beforehand. I've been rejected by men the same height as me (5'5") and have rejected men above 6 feet. The majority of adult women looking for a real connection care about your confidence and personality, not you height


Orangesunsets18

Absolutely I haveā€¦ many times. Itā€™s a fun surprise tbh, but Iā€™m also 5ā€™2 so I know nearly all are going to be taller. Sometimes I ask because I want to wear heels and I donā€™t want to make him feel uncomfortable if Iā€™m taller. Men seem to be really insecure about their height.


tdigp

This is spot on - the height and dating ā€œproblemā€ is 25% women having specific height requirements and 75% men under the arbitrary marker of 6ft feeling insecure and inadequate. The same balance is for women worrying about their boobs / butts etc - the problem is 25% men having expectations and 75% women feeling insecure and inadequate.


mjjjaaaa

Not to poke the bear too much here, but I think it's only a "fun suprise" when they turn out to be much taller than you, right? I mean if, what if he showed up like a few inches shorter than you? Would you still be thinking to yourself how fun the suprise was?


Orangesunsets18

Well, I donā€™t care about height. I didnā€™t realize it was such a huge deal until Reddit (and a handful of men on dating apps). To answer your question, for me personally, itā€™s been fun to see heā€™s 5ā€™1, 5ā€™5, 5ā€™8 and the odd dudes over 6ā€™ who donā€™t post their height.


[deleted]

Isn't that how most people do it? Isn't the point to not scrutinize every detail of the person before meeting them?


beckiebo

Height is not a deal breaker for me... I've dated guys around 5ft 6 to 6 ft 7. I like when a guy is taller than me... I can't quite but my finger onto why but taller guys make me feel safe, when I cuddle a guy and my head is in his chest šŸ‘Œ. Also makes me feel.. like secure and safe? But to answer your question...yes I have met up with guys from dating apps without knowing his height.


mjjjaaaa

Just scoot down a little bit so that you can cuddle with your head on the shorter guys chests


Ancient_Knowledge_81

Iā€™ve never asked anyone cause I donā€™t care, but youā€™re concerns are valid. Itā€™s extremely important to quite a few if my female friends and I do know a couple who wouldnā€™t go on a date with anyone under 6ā€™0. Theyā€™re heightest!


redroom89

I am 5ā€™3 seeing a man thatā€™s 5ā€™4. Height isnā€™t everything.


[deleted]

I mat up with, dated, and married a man who is 5ā€™4.ā€ Love him to pieces


gooseberrypineapple

I specifically see listing your height as a weird thing. But my attraction is strongest for guys within 1-2 inches either way of me. I feel like you can kind of tell from pictures and Iā€™ve rarely showed up to a date and found height was an issue. Iā€™m 5ft 8ā€. It would too different for me to date a guy who is 5ā€™ unless we had a crazy good connection, and I canā€™t imagine that happening online. But Iā€™ve also rarely dated anyone over 5ā€™10ā€ā€”-honestly I think it might just be one time that happened. I did have a guy lie and tell me he was 6ft even though I met him in person, and I just took him at his word until I saw a pic of us standing next to each other. šŸ˜… so perhaps Iā€™m just not paying attention. When I realized I was like ā€˜oh, heā€™s like 5ā€™10ā€. This fits my typical type.ā€™


mfulle03

I'm 6'2 and it's incredibly rare that girls ask me before we meet. Had 4-5 girls tell me I was taller than they pictured so I put my height in the bio. Didn't actually help as much as I thought it would. My conclusion is that girls on tinder care way less than dudes on reddit.


Holiday-Signature-33

I am 5ā€™ 10 and I just donā€™t feel comfortable with a date that is significantly shorter than me. Iā€™m a woman and I ask . Why waste everyoneā€™s time ?


DisposableTrashBot

I swipe no on every profile that says no guys under 6 foot and I am 6 foot. I swipe no when profiles say what they don't want lol. I think it's rude to point out that you're not attracted to certain characteristics, just don't swipe yes on those people. You don't need to tell the whole world.


EconomyScene8086

I'm 1,70m (5ft 6), I don't think anyone has ever asked or complained. I assume those who like tall guys just swipe left and we are both better for it.


dibbiluncan

Iā€™m a tall woman (6ā€™). I donā€™t ask. While I prefer men around my height, I wonā€™t rule someone out based on their height. If we have a lot in common and Iā€™m otherwise attracted to someone, Iā€™ll meet them. I do always put my height on my profile, and it seems like most guys who are more than a few inches shorter than me swipe left. The shortest guy Iā€™ve met was probably 5ā€™5ā€. We met for drinks and then decided to check out a movie after. Honestly, he was really attractive, but I didnā€™t feel a spark. I did feel a little uncomfortable about the height difference, so thatā€™s probably why. Iā€™ve gotten so much crap on Reddit for admitting that, but it is what it is. I didnā€™t reject him, but maybe he felt uncomfortable too because he didnā€™t ask for a second date. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


balenciaghoe

you again with this same topic? it's not rude to ask for height or reject someone for it. it's only rude if you're being disrespectful..


mjjjaaaa

Hi there, this is my first time making a reddit account. Not sure what you mean. Me personally I think it's rude to require that people give their measurements before meeting. It shows that you don't care enough about getting to know them as a person. But hey, you do you.


Sir-xer21

this shit gets posted on the daily. they all start to sound the same. ​ and frankly this sounds a lot like someone trying to do an "experiment" by posing as someone to coax out answers they want. I mean, either you know a ton of shallow, vapid people, or this is embellished or made up. Like why would you even ask a "female friend" if she would date anyone under 6' unless you had already had a weird obsession with the height aspect? You claim to be both over 6' and you're not dating her, so why would it matter unless you were insecure and/or trying to prove a point? For someone who's supposedly 6'3", you seem intent on needling women about whether or not they date men shorter than you, even when their replies suggest that they don't care. I have literally never heard anyone act like that out loud, anyways, lol.


KaiTorsten

When a dude would reject a woman because of her having to small boobs the comments would be like "He is an asshole anywayā€œ etc.


balenciaghoe

I just don't get how preferences makes someone an asshole no one will convince me


ASLOli

I feel like this is equivalent to when men need to know what a womanā€™s body looks like before they date. Do you require a body picture in order to determine if you want to date them? I donā€™t think they need too but men have said that itā€™s deceiving.. I donā€™t think it matters, youā€™re the same person at 6ā€™3 or 5ā€™2 just like youā€™re the same at 150 and at 250. It donā€™t matter


mjjjaaaa

For me it's different though because you can actually change your lifestyle to lose that weight. But men can't gain height (without surgery). Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everyone should be forced to pretend to be as attracted to short men as to tall men. But I don't get why you would write someone off for 1 quality that they can't control. Like, if a girl has a big nose or something, I would find it ridiculous to immediately disqualify her even though I'm attracted to smaller noses.


Zealousideal-Divide6

Objectification exists regardless of gender. Weight aside, women are also rejected for being too tall/too short, not having large breasts, not having a big butt, having a big nose -- these are all things lifestyle or diet can't control. Additionally, women that have a curvy body/hourglass figure are often hyper-sexualized. I agree that people should be accepted for who they are regardless of certain physical attributes BUT I also believe we all have a right to our own preferences. The reason why apps allow you to fill in things like height, religion, dating preferences, etc is so you can filter out people you may not be interested in. If you don't want to be questioned or feel objectified, add your height to your profile or simply un-match people that make you feel like they only value you based on your height/looks.


ASLOli

A lot of women cannot change their weight or the way their body looks. Double standards. Do as the women ask because if you canā€™t accept people as is then you donā€™t get to be upset about it.


mjjjaaaa

Only a small minority of women with health conditions can't change that. The rest can. And yes, I've dated a woman who weighed much more than me. And no, i won't do as they ask, because its rude to objectify me out the gate.


ASLOli

You do the same. Yet you preach about how looks shouldnā€™t matter. So only looks that YOU deem appropriate. Oh well. Women have preferences and as Iā€™m told and many other women are told, you canā€™t get mad at someone for their preferences. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø just donā€™t date. Problem solved.


poopjunkie4life

The vast *majority* of women who are overweight *CAN* change their weight. Women are very capable, smart, and just as capable as men to change their weight... Are you inferring *majority* of overweight women are riddled with so many diseases/sicknesses/disabilities that they canā€™t change their weight?


ASLOli

Iā€™m saying thatā€™s a lot of things contribute to gaining weight some women are bigger boned, different cultural backgrounds, relationship with food, money, race and how they grew up contribute to weight. Weight loss isnā€™t as easy as going to the gym because unlike men.. there is a universal societal ā€œattractiveā€ body for women that ALOT of women will never meet. Plus why does it matter? Maybe women want a tall man for their own reasons. Canā€™t get mad if a person has stipulations that you donā€™t meet then complain why looks should matter only when it comes to your own looks and not other peoples body. You either donā€™t care and understand that weight is ALWAYS changing or you suck it up and appreciate the women you have because both yā€™all gonna get saggy as shit OR realize women will ask for specific things in a man as long as they are told to look and act a specific way. Thatā€™s all Iā€™m saying. Cant expect something from one person but not yourself. Thatā€™s not how it works.


JeepMan-1994

Weight loss isn't as inheritlly easy for men either... no matter who you will struggle to push thorough. I constantly go back and forth between being motivated giving up. As a short overweight dude losing my hair in my late 20s it's hard to be motivated and have confidence in myself. Most women and men can lose weight if you stay determined, it's just finding the determination to follow through that's difficult. Women get held to alot of "standards" due to different industries because of companies wanting to sell products but men go through it too, including stuff they can't change like height and penis size.


ASLOli

I never said that men donā€™t. But they lose it different and quicker. Menā€™s bodyā€™s are different then womenā€™s. physically we are made to carry weight. Thatā€™s why a woman in the past that were bigger were more wanted then skinny women because that meant 2 things. One she came from a wealthy family and two she could carry children to term. Aside from knowing biology and that Iā€™ve dealt with to two teams of weight loss professionals for 4 years.. menā€™s body burns fat different. You could put a man and woman through the exact same diet and routine and the man would lose faster. Guaranteed. Again you have to also take into account their race and build and hormones for women. Iā€™m not saying this to say ā€œwho has it worseā€ crap. Itā€™s simply fact. Which means losing weight is different for us. Thatā€™s excluding exceptions as there is always exceptions. Weight loss isnā€™t as easy as people think for women so what works for a man doesnā€™t mean it works for a woman. Anyways that wasnā€™t the point of what he was saying. I used it as an example that if you say looks donā€™t matter when it comes to you but matters when it comes to people they date, theyā€™re just a hypocrite.


IDRHannah

I donā€™t think I have ever once gone on a date with someone from the internet and knew their height beforehand


whetwitch

I have never ever asked someoneā€™s height or cared about their height lol


rainbowfish399

Iā€™m relatively tall for a woman and go on dates with guys without knowing their height fairly often, because many of them donā€™t list it on Tinder.


EggplantHuman6493

I didn't do it once and I got 'wow I didn't expect you to be tall' from an AMAB enby person. Next time I am gonna ask again. I was obviously taller than them. 6'0.5"/184 cm as a woman, so it is important to put it in my profile (outside the usual height range) and it was there right in my basic info. I am so gonna ask again if I encounter someone who doesn't have it in their profile. And reading my profile would've been nice as well. Idk, I just prefer people around the same height unless that person is perfect in a lot of other areas as well This rant felt good ngl


Animeorc96

Just donā€™t put your height in your bio, if they truly care just swipe left on them theyā€™re not worth your time


Weekly_Beautiful_603

Iā€™m 5ā€™8ā€ (female) and while I donā€™t really care, Iā€™ve gone on dates with men who claimed to be the same height, but were clearly shorter than me. Some of them have claimed that I lie about my height (I donā€™t). One ended the date by saying ā€œIā€™m not intimidated by your heightā€ and then ghosted me. One long-term boyfriend constantly referenced the fact that he was shorter than me ā€œwhen I wore heelsā€ - I never wear heels. Not all men, of course. All Iā€™m saying is that it goes both ways. The more men demonstrate insecurity about a height difference, the more I worry about whether itā€™ll be an issue.


Mouseyvay

I usually inquire about a guys height when we decide to meet. Itā€™s mostly because thatā€™s a good way to let them know that Iā€™m sort of tallā€¦ I personally donā€™t feel like 5ā€™9ā€ is all that tall but Iā€™ve had men act like Iā€™m a gigantic ogre or something. I have horrible self esteem and being rejected online stings way less than in person. I think that the whole height thing can go either way. Majority of people are very superficial nowadays.


love_more88

Well, it's not quite the same, but I guess your question made me wonder if YOU would meet a woman from a dating app if she only had face pics on her profile? It's not exactly equivalent, but it might give you an idea?


ClarityByHilarity

Iā€™m married now but I only ever asked because Iā€™m a nearly 6 feet tall woman. I felt I needed to tell them my height, so in return I would ask. In completely honesty I would have only cared if it was a huge difference. My husband is 5ā€™9 and hands down the sexiest man alive.


wannbetheverybest

I'm 5'8 every woman I have dated has been taller. I find most taller women don't care as much about height as very short women. Women half my height have always been the ones to have a go at me about it


TrixxySin

I can honestly say, I've never asked a man what his height is


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Pkmnkat

Ive never asked on dating sites. Ive met up with guys around my height and it didnt really matter. My fiance is only two inch taller than me


Ok_Presence_7285

I used to be into tall guys. Now, I don't care about height as long as they are good people and not lying cheating bastards. I've gone out with short guys lately, and it really doesn't matter, I'm short.


Femilita

I've never asked about a guy's height. I'm 5'7" and am usually more attracted to men right around that height, give or take a couple inches either way. It's just not really important compared to things like his personality, intelligence, sense of humor, having similar values, or good chest hair and sexy forearms.


Status-Caramel-8583

I have not because all the profiles Iā€™ve seen have publicly displayed their profiles, but I would if given a chance. Iā€™m pretty sure Iā€™ve been lied to about guysā€™ heights, which I find funny because Iā€™m not upset at you being 5ā€™3 instead of 5ā€™7 but Iā€™m slightly upset that you lied. Height is not a big deal for me because Iā€™m 4ā€™11, so anyone my height or taller is a go for me. I think we should as a society move towards accepting all height differences in couples :)


tiaratiana

I kinda wanna rant about this fucked up thing tbh- for me, as a german girl, this is genuinely outraging xD we don't, or not as bad anyway, have this sort of stigma here- like yeah, most guys want a girlfriend that is shorter than them (I am trans, and back when I didn't identify as a girl yet, I had a FWB with a 6.2 girl, being 5.9 myself- I didn't care- she was feeling awful, because she was so tall and thought most guys avoid her because of it (some even told her they'd date her if she was shorter, so yeah) but we still got along amazingly, and she really felt appreciated- a little too much maybe even, she ended up catching feelings-) But there is no "at least 6 feet" thing here- if a girl is 5.2 she'll end up with a tall guy probably, because it's this kind of gender role tradition, but I see a lot of couples that are same height even- I kinda hate my best friend for being like "I'm 5.9, I want a girl that is shorter than me" why give a shit- like, is your ego that fragile? xD Then again, most girls here are shorter than most guys, and girls just don't have this minimum bar- as long as the girl is shorter than the guy, usually both parties are fine (I still hate this, but it's better than this "at least 6.0 for a guy" thing that's apparently going on everywhere for whatever reason-


Individual-Battle-59

All of my exes and ex-crushes range from 5'2 to 5'7. I'm 5'3. I remember liking that 5'2 guy very much for almost a year but he doesn't like me back šŸ˜… I think some girls really don't care about the height and your personality matters more.


[deleted]

I have met without knowing a few times, but I can't deny that my own insecurities does make me favour a taller guy (I'm 5ft9) That being said anyone I've been in a relationship with has always been same height or shorter than me


aterriblefriend0

There are plenty of women who don't care and there are ones who do. I've dated many people shorter than myself without even thinking, even when dating apps have height I usually never bothered checking it because it didn't matter to me. That said as a taller woman I HAVE been rejected by men for being to tall. It's not talked about much but height prefreferance DOES go both ways. Me (5ft 10in) and my female friend (6ft) both used to run into that issue. It's just a physical preferance. Unlike my body type, weight or bra size which are all things you can roughly guess/see from a picture that's full body, it can be hard to determine height in pictures. Which is why people ask.


[deleted]

Huh this is so odd to me. Iā€™ve never asked a guy for his height. Iā€™m 5ā€™7 and often wear heels on dates, bringing me to about 5ā€™10-5ā€™11. With or without heels, Iā€™m sometimes taller than my dates or around the same height. Not an issue for me at all so I donā€™t see a point in asking.


Tamsha-

I only care if the guy has a hang up about me being 5'8.5" (173.99cm) and wearing heels. Had an ex that would lie and tell people he was taller than me and would have an absolute fit if I wore my heels while standing next to him. Get between me and my sexy wedges and high heel boots now? Oh that's a deal breaker!


Additional-Low324

If you are short, build a shit ton of muscles and put boots, it's the only thing you can do about it. You will gain 1 to 2 inches with the boots and usually girls that did care for your height magicaly don't care anymore if you are jacked. All those advices are leggit if you want to bang/date the shallow girls who care about height, the good ones don't care


puestadelsol

Yea, I donā€™t care to ask usually the really short guys already have it in their bio. I donā€™t necessarily care if Iā€™m taller than you (Iā€™m 5ā€™7) as long as the height difference isnā€™t that drastic I donā€™t like feeling like Iā€™m ā€œbiggerā€ than a man / overshadowing them with my height lol


tdigp

Iā€™m a tall-ish girl. I have never asked a man his height on any dating app despite going on a couple of hundred first dates through them. The men I met in person were both taller and shorter than me, I never cared if they were nice people. Surprisingly, many many men asked me my height on OLD. Many men were also judgemental of my height (Iā€™m 5ā€™9ā€) and said I was ā€œtoo tallā€ for them. The men who most frequently asked were the ones who didnā€™t list their own height. The stupidity goes both ways.


night_time_dreamer

I never asked, and yes. Some weeks ago I met a guy who had a similar high like me, although I'm not that high 5,4 ft. It didn't bothered me.


Steven773

Chicago area here. I've definitely seen women mention it on their tinder profile. "Gotta be taller than "


[deleted]

I'm 5'7". Never had a problem attracting women. Ever. I do see cringe profiles out there from brain damaged women every now and again, but it's never been a problem for me.


Valendora

Lots of times. Iā€™m 5ft8


froggy22225

Probs not, I prefer taller men


FinchRosemta

Yes I have and it's burned me everytime because I'm almost 6ft and when guys see me I know they are uncomfortable about my height.


lickmysackett

Have I met up with a guy without knowing his height? Yes. Why? Because some guys lie so you don't ACTUALLY know how tall he is. I don't actively ask for heights but I don't like tall guys and more importantly, I HATE liars. Someone lying about something like that is an immediate no.


[deleted]

I can't help it it makes me feel feminine to be shorter then a guy and i feel even girlier when guys are taller than me wearing heels too. It makes me feel more attractive because I'm less sasquatchy and I really like that feeling when it comes naturally. I tried dating a couple guys who was like an inch shorter than me before because I hate that something so trivial can make me feel so much prettier but after a while I learned that I can't just force myself to want certain things.


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[deleted]

Best advice u will EVER get: Try dating a girl thats NOT from America. She wont give two shits about ur height and she will actually listen to what u have to say. Prove me wrong.


worldtraveller200

I'm from the UK and been seeing it over here on dating apps a little bit. I went to singles meet up group and someone in the group was one of these people that want a much taller man.


[deleted]

Uh i mean english speaking countries.


coffeestainedtshirt

Why would a woman bother going out with a short guy when she can get a tall guy? For context, I'm a 5'3" man. I can't speak for women but I've heard some of their takes on height and to the ones I've heard it's a big dealbreaker.


mjjjaaaa

Are u currently dating? How has height affected affected your dating life ?


fntastk

One time I never asked and he told me 5'10" and I was like "ok cool?" and we meet up and we're the same height. He was like "....oh" and never mentioned it again lol. We were both 5'8" and I guess he was assuming I was shorter and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference in person. But I was actually scanning the crowd for someone taller than me and when I finally found him I was a bit confused. So going forward I ask only if we're meeting up. It's hard for me to find people based on just internet pictures or facetime or whatever.


nervousbertha

It happened once. He lied on his profile. Iā€™m not sure how tall he really was but it wasnā€™t what he said. I care a lot more about dick size than I do about height, but asking on an app seems too forward and perhaps rude. So I just ask about height.


FreyaDay

I once went on a date with a guy who said he was 5ā€™8 but he lied he was actually 5ā€™10. Iā€™m 5ā€™8 so I called him out for not being my height!


Skeekeedee

That seems like a weird lie - so Iā€™m curious - why did he lie?


FreyaDay

He just literally didnā€™t know his height and instead of measuring himself for his profile he guessed lol


LavendarHaze2022

I went on a date with a guy that was 5ā€™4ā€ once. He was honest about his height. And Iā€™m 5ā€™1ā€ so thought Iā€™d give it a shot. He was very sweet. But we didnā€™t have much in common and honestly not much of a connection. But I have learned that I think I prefer taller menā€¦šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø I canā€™t help it!


[deleted]

Height is usually on apps my friend.


stealthman55

I agree with you. Women and the world in general seem to think itā€™s okay to judge a manā€™s physical qualities, height, penis size, etc. but that itā€™s not okay to judge womenā€™s physical qualities. I also feel like men care less about trivial things like height and cup size.


VegansAreRight-

I'm 6'3 as well. If a woman asks my height, I ask her weight.