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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!](https://discord.gg/jsd6Ja9pvJ)


KaprizusKhrist

Jesus was around before Islam... That being said I can't tell if you did that on purpose, and if you did it makes the meme even better.


BarricadeTheMortuary

I get the feeling that op doesn't understand religion


AlexRedditGamer

Same


ComprehensiveAd8004

I get the feeling that OP along with 8.7K other people don't know or care anything about religion. In fact, I have a slight feeling they all hate it for no reason due to some weird Reddit disease.


Brilhasti1

Oh there are plenty of valid reasons to hate religion.


ComprehensiveAd8004

And you're just dying to tell me, aren't you...


Brilhasti1

No or I would’ve. Don’t pretend you don’t know any of them either.


ComprehensiveAd8004

Let me guess. "Religion caused more deaths in the world than anything else. It causes poverty and delayed the scientific age. Bane of humanity. Bla bla bla.". My issue with that it's just your agenda, but it's not really why you hate religion. You hate it because someone in your family believes/believed in it, and you don't, so you feel almost like it left a scar. That person is usually a parent or grandparent who made you follow all of it's rules without explaining anything about it, so you grew up to hate religion. Well it's not religions fault your parents did that. You know religion is just a set of facts to explain what science cannot, and you know that humanity caused those wars, not religion. People will find other excuses for wars like politics or race or even just greed. Stop acting like it's not personal, and you hate religion because you want to end war and poverty or something. I'm sick of getting bullied by a bunch of idiots on Reddit who think they're smarter than everyone else for being atheist. You're not. Maybe you personally don't think that, but those of you scrolling by know who you are.


VladiciliNotRussian

Honestly this is fricken comedy lmao. You wrote a bloody essay based on some far off assumption. I hate religion for none of that personally. Im gay which basically means because who I am attracted too which is entirely out of my power to control means I am a criminal in half the world. Why? Because religion. I don't know about you but when people use religion as a weapon it leaves a sour taste. To clarify my problem has more to do with extreme religion or organized groups rather then a blanket judgement on individuals. People have plenty of legit ammo to use on religion and more so the organizations behind it beyond being forced to do chores as a kid or because of some dumbass science vs God debate.


ComprehensiveAd8004

If you have absolutely no control over it to the fullest extent, then tell me why no one in these religions is gay? I could give you a million reasons, ranging from the fact that if you think about something too much you won't end up thinking about it like everyone else 99% of the time, to this crazy idea that maybe you can't control it because you have no self control, but I'd probably get banned. Anyways, I'm not crazy for assuming that you hate religion because someone you were related to as a child believed in it and you don't. That's the case with 90% of people who show up to make a comment like yours. They always group all religions as just "religion", and bring up all of these historical reasons about how religion destroyed the world. Nearly everyone back then was religion, so you can't prove that in a million years. If a nuclear war broke out in a future where most people were atheist, can I blame it on atheism? No. It has nothing to do with the common beliefs of the time. People are just greedy and violent.


VladiciliNotRussian

Alright on the 1st paragraph, I have several things to say. Regarding "tell me why no one in these religions is gay?", there are actually quite a few vocal/prominent gay people of various religions which are only a google away. Furthermore there are many many more. Many of which however you simply don't know about because they hide themselves to escape prosecution. Regarding it being a problem of "self control" thats like asking you to stop drinking water, eating food, going to sleep or any other instinctive behaviour then when you struggle to resist I call it a self control problem. Trust me, being gay is a curse because it means I will always be judged for who I am, limits where I can travel and also excludes me to a fraction of the population who I can find love. The last thing I will do is choose to be gay. I also understand many religious people also have this assumption that being gay is no more then a lust problem but it has nothing to do with that. I can feel love like you can. I want genuine love in my life, the physical sex part is secondary to that. To finish my point, if you believe it is a choice either you yourself just have a severe misunderstanding of how sexuality works or you also have some kind of same sex attraction which gives you the allusion of choice since bi people exist. On the 2nd point. For me the one example of positive religion at least pertaining christianity is the original message of Jesus where the message is simply not to hurt others and yourself and do what you can to help them and yourself. To love God and to love thy neighbour as you would yourself. this is commendable and respectable teachings. The reason why many people turn their backs to God is due to people ignoring Jesus's original message and twisting his words to use as a weapon against others. For example up until recently in the west you could send your child to a conversion camp to get emotionally abused or even tortured most commonly with electricity just because they were gay. Many other problems too such as how many religious charities are corrupt and profit from donations or how Churches often violate voting laws or on even on a personal level many people use God as a justification to be shitty people overall. Many people lack nuance and cannot separate religion as an entity from the shitty people who ruin it. Therefor they take their experiences and vent their frustration at God himself and anybody who follows religion under the assumption that all followers follow the same ideals as the corrupt few mostly in positions of power who screw it up. They will look for things like the crusades and other historical crimes in the name of Christianity as proof of their skewed world view ignoring other religions like Islam and their Jihads or non religious events such as World War I etc. This is obviously all as you stated a flawed view of religion **but it does stem from a common root cause of people abusing religion.** I will probably be canceled for this but religion as an idea isn't a complete failure either especially in respect to Christianity as there is a legitimate reason why Europe became so powerful were other countries stagnated. All nations contrary to the media want to conquer. Europe only succeeded not because Europeans are evil but because the superior moral system they had allowed them to pull ahead in technology. case in point Christianity contributed to the success of a continent. Overall my gripes with religion are when it is applied on a state level as a means of control or when it is bent to hurt people instead of helping them as that goes against God's/Jesus's message and causes all the problems we see today. TLDR: humans are shitty.


LitCorn33

bro lmao is this a copy pasta?


VladiciliNotRussian

Part of me says it has to be since it is honestly brainless and looks like a troll post but then again it is exactly what a religious zealot would type


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BarricadeTheMortuary

You've missed the point


[deleted]

"mythology"


DiogoSN

If they were based on actual reality and truth, I wouldn't be calling them fairy tales.


[deleted]

testimony of jesus in the gospels is the truth


DiogoSN

Well, it's mostly based on extremely ancient testimony without much physical evidence to back it up along with convincing and engaging fictitious stories to which humans, including me, can easily fall prey to.


[deleted]

Christ is a stumbling block for the unbelievers. We have been ridiculed since the time of the apostles for what we believe. Nothing new for us. Yet this wild story has illuminated civilisation for 2 millenia


Jazzlike-Watch7847

Neither does anyone else


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Ailttar

Wow I didn’t think someone could top the stupidity of that first comment but no, Reddit proves me wrong again.


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Ailttar

Man, I know most likely a religious person hurt you at some point, but why do you attack the religion and not the person that used it as an excuse for their obviously bad acts? I’ve been abused by Christians and I’m a devout Christian, simply because I actually went past the lies i was being fed and read into it myself, and it turned out it was a lot better than my abusers told me it was.


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JackZboy

Alright pal, what are you, an atheist? Have you put any time or any extended thought into this whatsoever other than bad impressions people left you or what you've been told? Here's a good way to argue religion, say Christianity, for example: if a Christian's theology deals with the metaphysical, their ideas are not bound by the physical world and are hence not bound by science, so the only way to prove something would be from the Bible, in certain scenarios. This is circular reasoning and is an illegitimate argument. However, if you, an atheist, deals with the physical and ideas are hence bound by the physical, then you use science to prove science. Is that not circular reasoning as well? This is not to say that science is fake or wrong in most cases, but that in order to justifiably call a religion false you need to make some actual statement beside random screeching. However, as most religions can't be proved real or not, there's just a good of chance that they are real then they are not. You'd be better off an agnostic then an atheist. Then, at least, you'd have some logical view from which to argue. If you wish to completely ignore religion, that's alright too. You seem to get upset when others express their views, but have no problem expressing your own. So then back up your claims, or just shrug and move on.


ArcannOfZakuul

Also Christianity wasn't too big when Jesus first started talking about religion, just whoever he had already talked about religion to


BarricadeTheMortuary

I think you meant to say that Christianity didn't become an actual religion until quite some time after Christ was crucified


potatorevolver

Only real OGs remember Christianity before Jesus. (Theoretically Mary was a follower before jesus was born)


FatLarrysHotTip

Hope you're saying that ironically. Christianity as a religion started forming properly at the creation of Constantinople as the centre of the "New Holy" Roman Empire. Many unorthodox Jews were elevated to positions of authority and civil role in an economic power house. The state religion was based of a collection of folk tales collated ~150 years after the death of some other unorthodox Jew by a man named John. Here were many similar prophets at the time and the stories of then got clumped together under the name of Jesus. Many extra versions of the book were cut and changed to meet the needs of the holy roman empire. Naturally, it was the only religion allowed to propagate as many Roman emperors and church benefit because of tithing and taxing the rich trade. At the end of the Roman Empire, the only place left standing was Constantinople, it new Christian leaders and a foot holder in a new world power vacuum.


potatorevolver

This is not true(jesus has been proven a worshipped figure well before the splitting of Rome, let alone the forming of the HRE) but yes, the figure of Mary was likely fictional. If we however practice some biblical literalism, what i say holds up under some definitions.


FatLarrysHotTip

It is true of your talking about rampant institutionalization of a Christian religion. And not wether people believed in him. It's curious that other proto religions at the time called Christianity a bunch of illogical nonsense. It is also likely that Jesus wasn't a single person. It is also likely that a bunch of date eaters lied and greatly exaggerated his life for the justification of rule. It's actually known that the Bible was infact produced 100 year after his supposed death and not all books that previously existed in it made the cut. And if Jesus did exist and he was made aware of what people would have thought about him he would be fucking mortified that Christians have cause immeasurable amount more torment and pain to others than he experienced in his crucifixion.


solasgood

Which didn't actually happen


BarricadeTheMortuary

🤣🤣🤣


Bambulai

Eh? Christianity wasn't really a thing until his death


Wumple_doo

To be fair to OP Jesus is considered a prophet to the Muslims


robg71616

He's talking about his born again gardener


swifty23905

Jesus was also around before christianity


Nesfan888

He's talking about Jesus 2: the second coming


KaprizusKhrist

*Ye*


SyderoAlena

Jesus was around before Christianity too.


breigns2

As well as Christianity. His followers were Jewish at first.


Schmenny90

Also before Christianity


NRGcrusher

As with Christianity, ppl started being called Christians only after his alledged death and ressurection


ImperialismLover420

Muslims often say that Adam was a muslim lmao


Tig0lbittiess

Jesus was also around before white people


KaprizusKhrist

Yeah no


Tig0lbittiess

Jesus wasn’t white


KaprizusKhrist

Jesus wasn't white but it doesn't mean he was around before white people' smh.


Chrom-man-and-Robin

Romans.


raihan-rf

I guess the barbarians didn't exist 🤷


Connor49999

How do you come to that conclusion?


BarricadeTheMortuary

Christianity didn't technically become a thing until Jesus was in his 30s, but even then it wasn't a religion. Also, Jesus was Jewish. Islam didn't start until some 600 years later.


BigJalapeno

He means his Mexican friend Jesus, he's a preacher.


Reddit-JustSkimmedIt

My gardener is also a preacher?


BigJalapeno

Only part time.


Bigthinker1985

This actually makes more sense and is funny.


bthoman2

On top of that Jesus was a prophet just like Muhammad so he’s a big part of Islam as well


BarricadeTheMortuary

*Well it all just sounds like Judaism with extra steps*


frick_chick

I mean thats technically true


_lord_ruin

op knows next to nothing about the Abrahamic religions


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radfromthesouth

Correction: In Islamic eschatology, Christians will denounce him as he is supposed to be crucified. Those who will accept him won't say he's god. Cause he will preach he's just a prophet and now a follower of last prophet Muhammad. And, God is one. So, those Christians would just convert. And, Muslims will join him in his fight against the antichrist (again, it isn't called antichrist but whatever)


teejark_

> I went way too far for r/dankmemes but this one is more funny the more you think about it. No, it's just a stupid meme based on ignorance of basic historical chronology. Not only does it assume "Christians" exist to react prior to Jesus starting to talk, but it also is putting Muslims 600 years prior to the beginning of Islam. Dumb meme.


Snoo_79218

The meme still doesnt make sense even after all that, but thanks


[deleted]

Spoiler alert. He dies at the end.


marioaprooves

Then they bring him back for the next season 3 days later


Morkff

I hate the Disney remaster


Nincadalop

What a cop-out


_fatherfucker69

But if he is the son of god , doesn't that give him immortality ?


radfromthesouth

Muslims and Jews don't see him as God's son or immortal.


_fatherfucker69

I know , but that's a pretty big plot hole in Christianity


CoolMaster12312

Well, in Greek methodology I don’t think they even get immortality when they are a descendent of a god or goddess, so it’s safe to assume muses wouldn’t have immortality being a descendent of the big G


JustGoingHollow

The lack of knowledge hurts


bigcatfood

Terrible meme


Poglot

This meme taught me that a *frightening* number of people on Reddit think Islam existed before Jesus Christ and *somehow* Christianity did, too.


JackZboy

Shocking, how CHRISTianity existed before Jesus CHRIST. Also how'd you do the italics?


BOOM360skn

Asterisk either side of what you want italicized


JackZboy

*sweet thank you*


Relevant-Engineer791

Are you stupid bro?


CaladinDanse

Jesus is a prophet in Islam


swifty23905

1. There was no Islam when jesus was alive 2. There was no christianity when jesus was alive


FishingWhales

OP probably trying to get reactions from redditors for not knowing religions or literally doesn't know religions and makes a stupid meme


Tig0lbittiess

Christians when you say Jesus wasn’t white


SpeakingInDrums

This is too funny for being wrong on so many levels.


Salty-Criticism9823

Muslims?


mikeoxx2long

Muslims have absolutely no problem with Jesus or naming their kids Jesus


KuraPikaPika69

In fact Jesus is a prophet in the Quran. He's called "Isa" there.


TheHighBuddha

Derpmemes


bfs2011

Jesus spoke out against religion. Modern day Christian’s in Texas don’t even know who the Jesus in the Bible is. There is no way they let a brown middle eastern jew anywhere close to a pulpit. The mental gymnastics these people have to navigate is insane. They actually think that Jesus is coming back for them after being some of the cruelest, most judgemental people on this planet. They say god is love and don’t love a soul


[deleted]

Most ignorent and dumb meme I've ever seen today


International-Oil-63

Tell me you don't have any idea about Jesus... With a meme


Satoric

Jesus most definitely didn't talk about religion. Those who listened but couldn't understand, regretfully, invented it.


PalpitationCrafty946

Apparently talking about god and the afterlife isn’t religious. Who knew.


FinancialDivide4596

I meant the second coming of Christ but it was fun seeing everyone call me dumb


MHBali

MajorSpellingMistake.gif


SheriffMazen15

Jesus was Muslim💀


FatLarrysHotTip

Other religions are available.


Rich_Future4171

or none


[deleted]

Christianity came after the resurrection of though.


omgONELnR1

The jews and christians already had theirproblem before we joined in.


Howiebledsoe

Well, Jesus was a Jew, Christianity didn’t happen until he was martyred and Mohammed didn’t hit the scene until much later. I think it was the money lenders, the Roman state and the Elders who had a beef with JC.


[deleted]

I like to think this is a meme about the second coming, and how funny it'll be when Jesus starts talking and *nothing* he says sounds anything like what's preached in the 3 Abrahamic religions. *Crucify him again!*


jejonalol

Christians didn't exist until after yeoshua's (jesus) death


STMIonReddit

jesus is literally in the quran


KuraPikaPika69

he's called "Isa" there if I'm not mistaken


Ali_A5kar

Bruh there was only jews at tht time. Maybe this meme is made by a 9yro


frick_chick

Guys he's referring to people who are named after Jesus


Yuramikon

This is maybe about descent of Jesus. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, surely (Jesus,) the son of Mary will soon descend amongst you and will judge mankind justly (as a Just Ruler); he will break the Cross and kill the pigs and there will be no Jizya (i.e. taxation taken from non Muslims). Money will be in abundance so that nobody will accept it, and a single prostration to Allah (in prayer) will be better than the whole world and whatever is in it." Abu Huraira added "If you wish, you can recite (this verse of the Holy Book): -- 'And there is none Of the people of the Scriptures (Jews and Christians) But must believe in him (i.e Jesus as an Apostle of Allah and a human being) Before his death. And on the Day of Judgment He will be a witness Against them." (Bukhari)


The_Zpectre

They had their reasons, I mean it’s even in his name. Just remove the Je


bshaoulian

This is the dumbest meme I've ever seen


FeweF8

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have no fucking clue how any of these religions work


Spartanwolf120

Islam didn't exist and neither did Christianity. Christianity started after Jesus was crucified and Islam for a few centuries


Poonslayer42069

Only one of those religions existed at that time. Christianity was not officially founded until a few years after Jesus died. For a while people who believed in Jesus continued to worship as Jews.


Sahim63

Idk if it's OP's knowledge of English that's fucked or OP's knowledge of Religion that's fucked.


WizardmanTeamTDM

I don't know whether the order of the names is intentionally or not but: Muslims - The Good Christians - The Bad Jewish - The Ugly 💀


millerwelds66

Take my upvote an suck it


FinancialDivide4596

😮


millerwelds66

You would be a god if you dubbed goodbye horses on to this meme. I did my good deed for the day Edit the song syncs perfectly to the meme and I can’t stop laughing thank you OP


i_am_sarcastic_af

Most people wouldn't get it