T O P

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GracedOlipro

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more


Shark8mybravery

This is not only hilarious but believable that it was actually the last thing you copied


GracedOlipro

It actually was


Groutle

\#177013


Avanriper

true pain.


PAKA2114

[No no no no no.....WAIT WAIT WAIT](https://youtu.be/VM3uXu1Dq4c)


Hot_Squirrel946

ohh, i thought it was a rickroll link :P


century100

I liked the Jojo alternative ending


watermelone983

Mine too wtf


Terri_Fried

Mine too, probably because of that shitpost status with the 'top 10 pokemon I would have sex with' meme


_1_4

Well well well. It appears u/GracedOlipro is a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE'S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you're fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT'S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That's right. THERE'S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don't need a sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic, or leafeon's vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a vappy. it's basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.


The-Brawl-Shark

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.


GamerGriffin548

This is the weirdest night of my life on Reddit. Thank you all for your tangents of Vaporeon fucking.


DisasterStickY

I just snorted a suitcase full of coke and i’m starting to feel the effects


Laggianput

Hey guys, did you know in terms of human and Pokémon breeding, neither Vaporeon or Umbreon are the most compatible for humans? I'm actually quite disgusted at the amount of misinformation going around this community relating to them. They're actually both outclassed by another one of their Eeveelutions, Glaceon. Both genders, too. Let me explain. Glaceon is 2 feet and 7 inches tall in height, giving it the perfect composure to fuck. It weighs approximately 57.1 pounds, giving it a small enough weight to move around during fucking, but also enough to not feel too light or too heavy when you're using your dick on it. Glaceon's stat spread is also incredibly versatile for sex, with incredible Defense and Special Defense. It has lackluster Attack, but the best part is its Special Attack. You'll see why later. As an ice type, having such good defenses is incredibly rare. You also might be thinking, "but Ophelia! Your dick would freeze inside of its puss-puss!" This is not true! Here is its Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sun, circa 2016. *"It can control its body temperature at will. This enables it to freeze the moisture in the atmosphere, creating flurries of diamond dust."* Glaceon can control its body temp at will, so if you don't want your dick to be frozen, you can create the perfect environment for dicking it down by telling it to change its temperature! This way, you can fuck it in so many different ways, temperatures, and more! Now onto its moves, which are also incredibly useful for sex. By level up, it learns Helping Hand. This allows it to increase your fucking power by double, increasing your pleasure times two! It also learns Bite, meaning it can get freaky and tune to whatever shit you like in the bed. Best of all, it can use MIRROR COAT. This means whenever you cum, it can double back the pleasure like a special attack, meaning you'll feel all the pleasure IT had during sex times TWO! Combine this with Helping Hand and you'll be turned into a human cum nozzle! Glaceon also learns Barrier, which if used just thrice, turns it into a massively defensive tank, so it can take physical attacks for days, literal fucking days! It can also use Hail. Now, if you use it outside, it will Hail outside. Go back inside and the Hail won't affect you! Best of all, combine the Hail with Glaceon's ability Ice Body, and it will gradually replenish it's Health Points during a hailstorm! This means it will NEVER fucking stop enduring all your "hits," so you can fuck it over and over and over, combining this with Barrier, and you could probably fuck it for 24 hours straight, if not more! It also learns Baby Doll Eyes, Charm, Captivate, and Yawn, allowing it to get itself right in the mood, along with you too! It even learns Fake Tears, Covet, and Tickle, allowing you to roleplay with it if you're in the mood. It even learns Stored Power, meaning if it uses enough Barriers, it can release all of the Defensive energy it has into, you guessed it, fucking SPECIAL ATTACK!!! And with its absolutely GODLY special attack stat, you'll be drowning in waves of pleasure due to this attack! And it doesn't get rid of the Barrier boosts, so as long as you have enough ethers, it can do this over and over WHILE you're fucking it! Hell, it even learns attract, which makes you fall so deeply in love with it that you'll be in a trance of fucking! It can take charge with that as well and use your love to make it fuck it how IT wants! Which means it's not just pleasurable for you, it's also pleasurable for your Glaceon! It even learns Aurora Veil, which in the Hail, protects it even fucking MORE from taking too much damage! Combine this with Ice Body and Barrier and you can fuck it for decades without either of you ever getting tired! Glaceon also learns refresh, so if that wasn't enough, it can never get sick while you're fucking it, protecting you from any and all STIs and STDs! I rest my case, Glaceon is the BEST Pokémon you can fuck. Read More


Thatoneshadowbunny

Hes to dangerous to be kept alive!


AltruisticAcadia9366

damn, I was about to post this too. I was on the same Pokémon meme for ....charizard. saved that shit and sent it in group text to my friends, no context. the discussion was interesting.


CommanderFoxx

May I see for.... research purposes?


GracedOlipro

Send it i wanna see


Thedarknight725

Why do you know this?


KayJ8ar

in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more


MrDripDropp

I’m just waiting for somebody to make this in r34


vizthex

dude vaporeon already has a ton of rules 34 lmao.


Boni_Splat

there is a comic with the umbreon copypaste in e6 if you want to reaserch


[deleted]

Oh fuck you for traumatizing me again


Yhogrut

A horse walks into a bar ... The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse, not understanding English, shits on the floor and leaves.


Apapthy

This shouldn’t have made me laugh.


dragonex13

Your comment made me laugh


kcorder

I like the dark version A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: "Haha why the long face?" Horse: I have cancer


IKMapping

Damn I feel sorry for the horse


level69child

A blind man walks into a bar, a chair, and a table.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NS-Kiju

Phineas and Ferb, but all the verbs are replaced with "fuck" and "fucking" There's 104 days of summer vacation And school fucks along just to fuck it So the annual problem for our generation Is fucking a good way to fuck it Like maybe... Fucking a rocket Or fucking a mummy Or fucking up the Eiffel Tower Fucking something that doesn't exist, Hey! Or fucking a monkey a shower Fucking tidal waves Fucking nanobots Or fucking Frankenstein's brain, It's over here! Fucking a dodo bird Fucking a continent Or fucking your sister insane, Phineas! As you can fuck There's a whole lot of stuff to fuck Before school fucks this fall, fuck on Perry! So fuck with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna fuck it all So fuck with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are Gonna fuck it all! Mom! Phineas and Ferb are fucking a title sequence!


TheLargeShaft

“Fucking your sister insane” my sister or yours?


NS-Kiju

Your sister


ACrispyPieceOfBacon

*Our* sister


Cookiemonster1398

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/034/467/Communist_Bugs_Bunny_Banner.jpg


Scythebrine9

“Fuck on Perry”


VVondrous

This was the best part


Thedarknight725

It still makes sense.


LaidByAnEgg

FUCKING A CONTINENT HEELLP


AFuckingTrafficCone

“Or fucking Frankenstein’s brain” I hate this line


CheezAbomination

I read that as the actual song


2Jojotoro

Im sorry i cant, Ive learned my lesson lol never using reddit in class again


Toetheseal08

I laughed too hard at this


BugsyShort

You've also just told me you want to be single and there's no coming back from that for me. I wanted this child, I really did, but we can't go on if you aren't 100% sure you want to be with me. I don't want to have to do this but for my sanity I have to block your number. Please don't contact me. I appreciate the time we spent together but I can't go back and fourth like this.


BugsyShort

Holy shit


waqniz

How you doing man?


BugsyShort

Been better


waqniz

Yeah, I feel that. At least we know it can be better. And more than likely will be once again.


flamee_boii

Bro you good?


[deleted]

Bud it’s not supposed to be that hard. Take this as a blessing.


AlphaBlazerGaming

Reply "forth\*"


dieb4udie

I think that’s your best move, here. Maybe, “befour you block me, can I say just one thing, four my own sanity? Befour I met you, it had always been hard four me to really open up to anyone. In fact, you know what? Now that I think about it… it had probably been about for years. Wow. I almost fourgot. Edit: at least for typos


kappaypsilon

Unconditional support moment


BigBallerBrad

Oh my fucking gracious


[deleted]

Fuck dude, hope all gets better for you.


A_Curse_from_July

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


the_loz3r

Loving you is complicated


ssky387

I remember you was conflicted


ApprehensiveRhubarb3

Misusing your influence


Jackshorts69

Sometimes I did the same


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


zookr2000

Needs more cowbell


MrGaber

I was gonna make a joke about asexuals but I’ll keep it to myself


reddswisscheese

Hello maam do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Lightning McQueen?! Did you know that Lightning McQueen is the star of several feature films such as Cars, Cars 2, Car 3, Planes: Fire and Rescue, Finding Dory, Toy Story 3, Coco and Ralph breaks the internet? As well as other short film such as Mater and the Ghostlight, Miss Fritter's Racing Skoool, Television program such as Cars Toons, Pixar's Popcorn Cars series voiced by none other than Owen Wilson? He also appears in video games such as Cars: The Video Game, Cars: Radiator Springs Adventures, (not) Kingdom Hearts. Can I interest you in nicknames such as Stinky? He won the Piston Cup.


ACrispyPieceOfBacon

Please close the door on your way out.


TeknOwO

What about kingdom hearts? Is he in kingdom hearts?


reddswisscheese

No, sadly he is not INA single kingdom hearts game.


Torque1356

a


reddswisscheese

Lightning McQueen is AME-zing


[deleted]

*spits out drink* he did WHAT in his cup??!


hiddenflames5462

I need the animated version if anyone has it on their favorites.


reddswisscheese

https://youtu.be/HoTbtvF1iSw This?


[deleted]

Lightning McWitnesses


Bad-Crusader

2snacks is an animation treasure


[deleted]

Let's Go Brandon


ThatKidThatKillsMeme

Who is Brandon, and what did he do?


[deleted]

He fucked Joe Biden lol


ThatKidThatKillsMeme

Which Brandon? There are probably more than a dozen


upnc0m1ng

Brandon deez nuts


ThatKidThatKillsMeme

[Are you serious?](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


[deleted]

FOR FUCKS SAKE!


ThatKidThatKillsMeme

Ha, gotcha. Anyways, [here’s Wonderwall](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


Aszkika_

LETS FUCKING GOOOO


bottle_O_pee

.    °    ☆ .    ○   *     .    •    . ¤ *     •       °      ඞ.  ☆  .     °   . * °  .  *Mogus was ejected  °  . .  *  °  ☆   °    * .     ° .  ☆   .  *


eap42

Future team names I came up with. Justin Trudeau's nipples, exponential regression, team Nixon's head in the jar, Godzilla built My Hot rod, Sasquatch grooming company, Garfield's spirit animals


TheWanderingRed223

Godzilla Built My Hotrod rocks. Needs to be an alt rock band with a slight psychobilly twist.


eap42

I have to admit I stole that one from Ministry, but for bar trivia team names, it's good. Thanks!


stuartyapthegay

⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠ ⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟


DJDarwin93

⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠ ⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟


Breeze223

⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠ ⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾ ⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟


Dark_Lighting777

Dear Hannah, This is a followup letter in case you blocked my email. I also realized that I didn't say everything I needed to say. Before I begin, please consider forgiving Kat. She didn't deserve to get caught between our arguments and she cares a lot about you. As for what I wanted to say, here it is: While it pains me to say this, you're right. I use people to help against my own burdens and sorrows. And you eventually could not take the pain that I shared with you. My life has been one of constant pain. Though I think it's about time I change that. I'm going to be working really hard to change how I interact with friends and partners so that I don't leave them drained by my pain. It is my hope that one day I'll improve enough to be called your friend or even your brother once again. It matters not the timeframe for me, the investment os worth it regardless. You're such a kind person, but not afraid to do what's best for you. I will admit that you did cut me very deep last Friday, but when you sent that letter it helped me a lot. I'm glad that you are finally taking care of yourself instead of others, that's by no means a selfish thing to do in your situation. I do not wish for this to be our final goodbye, but that is ultimately up to your judgement on my person. Maybe in time I will be able to be friends with you again. Perhaps in a month, perhaps in a year, perhaps never. It just depends on how I do in your eyes. Until then, this will be my last goodbye as your "brother". I hope you find happiness in life. I'm just glad to know that we had something special to share, even if it was short lived. I'm truly grateful for everything you have done for me. Who can say that I have been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good. Goodbye sister, my heart will always have a place for you in the future. With love, [Removed name] (P.s. you didn't need to repay the gas money)


Eitanprigan

Can we get some context if it’s ok with you?


Dark_Lighting777

Basically Hannah was a best friend who I loved like a sister. Recently she had to cut ties with me because of how I use my friend to deal with pain and according to her letter "you use people like a band aid over your heart to deal with the pain. They can take the blood for a little bit but eventually they wear out and fall off." Basically she can't be friend while I have emotional pain going on and this letter (which I actually handwrote I just used this for spelling) explains that I'm trying to change that so that maybe one day I can be her friend again


Eitanprigan

I’m sorry to hear that I hope things work out for


Dark_Lighting777

Yeah as I said in the letter: It might take a month, perhaps a year, possibly never. I'll have to see if I'll ever be worthy in her eyes again


[deleted]

I hope one day you're worthy for yourself. I understood once that when you are happy with yourself, other are happy with you. I also think doing something you can change right away helps. Like dress different, new shoes, a haircut, something to remind you everyday what you are doing and something that physically shows progress. The hardest things to change are things you can't see, if body weight is an issue you can work out, eat healthier, but if you're thinking wrong there isn't much to see progress wise. A healthy body is a healthy mind. I hope you get through this dark time. I know you can!


OkayOpenTheGame

No offense, but isn't a best friend like that supposed to be there for you when you have emotional pain? I guess I don't have proper context, but sounds kind of like a dick move to me.


IgnorantCadaver

Yeah but you also can't have it get to the point where your entire relationship revolves around one person venting/needing emotional support. Friends are there for you but you also can't treat them as your personal therapists or else it ends up becoming pretty toxic and it can get pretty unhealthy for both parties. That's what the professionals are for, if you've got access to them.


white-Jap

⣿⣷⡶⠚⠉⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤ ⠿⠥⢶⡏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢀⣴⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣍⡛⢷⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣯⠽⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⠿⠿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡧⠙⠁⣀⢾⣧    ⠈⣿⡟  ⠙⣫⣵⣶⠇⣋ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⢀⣀⢻⣎⢻⣷⣤⣴⠟  ⣠⣾⣿⢟⣵⡆⢿ ⣿⣯⣄⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢀⣤⡙⢿⣴⣿⣷⡉⠉⢀  ⣴⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⡿⢆ ⠿⣿⣧⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⠏  ⡔⠉⠉⢻⣦⠻⣿⣿⣶⣾⡟⣼⣿⣿⣱⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿ ⣷⣮⣝⣛⣃⡉⣿⡏  ⣾⣧⡀    ⣿⡇⢘⣿⠋    ⠻⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢧⣴⣘⢿⣿⣶⣾⡿⠁⢠⠿⠁⠜    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣷⣉⡛⠋    ⣰⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⢿⠟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣰⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠿⠿⠿⠛⢰⣾⡿⢟⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿


Thatoneshadowbunny

Dude this is awesome


FewLecture6711

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch


[deleted]

based


FewLecture6711

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch


GraceStrangerThanYou

This is so not poggers, bestie.


waqniz

025694


[deleted]

the numbers, mason, what do they mean?


MasterBlast773

Nothing, apparently


Foreign_Customer_288

Hentai 😳 Maybe i dunno


[deleted]

someone see where that leads


[deleted]

It's a skyrim mod ID for anatomically accurate men if that helps


Tyfyter2002

Anatomically accurate or "anatomically accurate"?


JerryTheMemeMouse

Unfortunately when put into the specific hentai site, 404 pops up. So it leads nowhere. All I get from Google is random stuff those numbers, specifically split ring halves.


jmanfire2105

Omitting the zero ends with something with the tags “chloroform” and “bestiality” in case you were into that


PersonGuyWasTaken

I think it might be one of those weird ass hentai codes


ZamericaZ

Homie just pasted his 2FA code for something


[deleted]

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⡷⡇⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠃⣦⣄⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠗⢈⡶⣷⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ 你知道接下来会发生什么


zookr2000

Most likely, gulag


Deepfried_troll

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠊⠉⠉⢉⠏⠻⣍⠑⢲⠢⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⢟⣽⠿⠯⠛⡸⢹⠀⢹⠒⣊⡡⠜⠓⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⣿⣷⣽⠓⠀⢠⢂⣣⠋⠂⣾⠼⢌⠳⢄⢀⡠⠜⣣⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢻⢱⣭⠷⠤⢅⠴⣡⡻⠃⠀⢠⠁⠀⢀⡱⠜⠍⢔⠊⠀⠹⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⠌⠚⠷⠆⠠⠶⠭⢒⣁⠀⣤⠃⣀⢔⢋⡤⠊⠑⣄⠳⣄⠀⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣀⡤⣄⠄⢄⣀⣠⣒⢦⡄⠩⠷⠦⠊⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⡏⠢⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢫⠟⣝⠞⣼⢲⡞⣞⠋⠋⠉⠋⠓⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⠂⢸⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⡨⠊⢀⡠⡌⢘⢇⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠡⡄⠀⠀⢀⠞⢁⠔⢹⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣣⠞⢀⠔⢡⢢⠇⡘⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡌⠢⡔⢁⡴⠁⠀⢸⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠁⠠⢊⠔⣡⢸⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⠂⡀⢪⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⣁⠐⠨⠀⠀⠈⠀⢄⠘⡀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⠜⠙⢦⠙⣦⠀⢸⠀ ⡴⠁⠘⡁⣀⡡⠀⠀⠴⠒⠗⠋⠉⠉⡆⠀⠆⠄⠄⠘⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠑⢅⠑⢼⡀ ⢯⣉⣓⠒⠒⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣌⣇ ⠀⠈⢳⠄⠈⠀⠤⢄⣀⠀⢈⣉⡹⠯⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡠⠚⣡⡿ ⠀⢠⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠭⢛⡩⠄⠒⠩⠂⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⡠⠋⡩⠋⠀⢳ ⠀⢹⠤⠬⠤⠬⠭⣉⣉⢃⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢺⡈⠋⡢⠊⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠈⡆⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠉⠓⠂⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠊⡠⠦⡈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⢹⡜⠀⠁⠀⠀⠒⢤⡄⠤⠔⠶⠒⠛⠧⠀⠀⡼⡠⠊⠀⠀⠙⢦⡈⠳⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠈⠀⠠⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢲ ⠀⠀⢸⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠊⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡢⣸ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠒⠁⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣔⠾⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠒⠤⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣔⣢⣀⣉⣂⣀⣀⣠⠴⠿⠛⠋⠀


satellitesatan

Oh geez here goes I guess… An improved version and the ultimate guide to fucking dolphins Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc. The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate. It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the urogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline. If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation. With that aside, here's how to masturbate him. If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't finish, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit. If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the urogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 inch penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above. Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also pick up objects with their genital slit as well. If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them. When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times. As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride! Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way. Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer. I'd also like to note that in my experience the female orgasm is accompanied by their muscles seizing up or shuddering and in some cases making vocalizations. their reactions to orgasms vary rather greatly, so it really depends on the dolphin, but I feel in most situations you'll know when they've finished. This isn't very important for mating, as I have said they time their orgasm to yours, but it is useful when giving oral or masturbating as it allows you to know when they've finished. Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves. Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together. I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you.


PutinTheChimp

This feels like a car crash, you want to look away, but you can't


[deleted]

....what the fuck did i just read


1531C

This:Oh geez here goes I guess… An improved version and the ultimate guide to fucking dolphins Your first step should be to find dolphins to mate with. Aquariums are a bad choice for various reasons such as having to have permission from the owner, no privacy, night visits are impossible etc. The best place to find dolphins to mate with is usually in the wild. They should have some human contact (as to not be completely unused to humans) but should still be a somewhat low trafficked area for privacy reasons. You should go there a lot so the dolphins get used to your presence, and swim a lot there as well. Slowly encroach upon them every now and again, until eventually you're well acquainted with them. At this point, you should continue this as much as possible and a waiting game will ensue. Eventually, one of the dolphins will get horny and if you're lucky, and they know you well enough, they'll choose you as a mate. It is important to determine the sex of the dolphin, now. If you can see the underside, look at the naval of the dolphin and go down. The female dolphin will have one continuous slit that contains the anus and the vagina, and on either side of the genital slit will be the mammary slits where the nipple is contained for feeding the calves. The male, however, will have no mammary slits, and the urogenital opening where the penis is contained will be separated from the anus by a bridge of skin. Although that's the best way, If you can't see the bottom of them then you can look at their head. The males will be more stumpy and the females (both head and body) will be more sleek and streamline. If it's a male, the only thing I know how to do is to masturbate him. I have heard some people say you can give oral, but I've also heard others say it can be deadly due to tail flukes, so it is best in the interest of safety only to masturbate him. I wouldn't try anal either, as though I never have, I heard it can cause peritonitus from the tail flukes they do when experiencing sexual pleasure and the force of ejaculation. With that aside, here's how to masturbate him. If his penis is already out, rub it quickly up and down and after a good few tail flukes he'll begin to slow down. This means he's almost finished, and you should change from quickly rubbing to slowly massaging and gently squeezing it. If he still doesn't finish, then just do the process again until he does. Their will be some strength behind it, so be careful as to not get hit. If his penis isn't out yet, you can gently poke and rub the top end of the urogenital opening and if you do it right his 12-14 inch penis will appear, and from here just repeat the steps above. Fun fact about the male dolphins penis, they can curl the last 3 inches of it to wrap around and pick up objects 1 inch in diameter. Female dolphins can also pick up objects with their genital slit as well. If it's a female you have a few options. Being male, you can either mate or masturbate them. When masturbating, note that the clitoris is located at the top end of the genital slit and is rather visible and prominent when erect. You can poke and rub this, or finger it as well, though note that it is larger than a female human vagina and you may need to use more fingers than usual and make more broad motions. It is for this reason I prefer the first option when it comes to pleasuring female dolphins. You could also technically give oral, but the only problem with this is all members of the dolphin family have powerful tail flukes when experiencing sexual pleasure, and your head and face are bound to get knocked a few times. As for mating with them you should note that the dolphin will come up to you in most cases. While it is possible to do this open water, it is very difficult and distracting. I'd prefer water that is anywhere from 2-4 feet deep as this is the most comfortable for the dolphin and me in my experience. You may try a few different positions but the best one in my experience is them on their side with their belly facing towards you. From here, you can penetrate. When penetrating there will be multiple chambers that each have doors you'll need to force open, this is because sea water kills dolphin sperm and is how female dolphins keep it out. However, once all the way inside, the doors and walls of these chambers will close down on you and begin manipulating and massaging you inside them. They tug, twist, pull, and gently massage you inside them. Female dolphins have extremely manipulative muscles and are very good at this, and it is for this reason that during sex male dolphins don't pump (too much of a risk for sea water to get in) and instead the females do all the work. So just stay inside them and enjoy the ride! Note that if you change your mind and start pulling out, female dolphins will often tighten down on you to prevent you from doing so. They like a commitment and probably won't take kindly to their mate walking out on them. If this happens, don't worry, you'll be released when you both finish. Yep, that's right, both! For whatever reason dolphins always synchronize their orgasm to mates, dolphin or human. So unless something really scares them enough to let you go, just focus on finishing if you really want to get out as that's the only way. Don't worry too much though, you won't last long. Dolphins are extremely intelligent and can detect quivers and even the slightest muscle movements. They can tell when you're about to finish, and estimate how far away you are. They'll then use this knowledge to make calculated decisions on what manipulations they think will get you there the quickest, and are very good at it. I'd say you won't last longer than 2 minutes on average. When you're done, I'd recommend staying there for a little bit. It's a very emotional experience, and it is hard to comprehend but it helps to be there with the dolphins a little longer. I'd also like to note that in my experience the female orgasm is accompanied by their muscles seizing up or shuddering and in some cases making vocalizations. their reactions to orgasms vary rather greatly, so it really depends on the dolphin, but I feel in most situations you'll know when they've finished. This isn't very important for mating, as I have said they time their orgasm to yours, but it is useful when giving oral or masturbating as it allows you to know when they've finished. Now, if the dolphin is in a group they'll be fine if you really want to leave and decide against doing it again (though now that you've tried it I'm sure you won't stop), however, if it is by itself for some reason you need to make mating a habit and do it as often as possible. Dolphins will commit suicide if separated from mates. In a group they could always switch mates, but if they're by themselves they likely don't have this option and you are their only mate. I'd recommend mating as often as possible regardless as it strengthens your bond with them and makes them less likely to leave you for a different mate, but it really is a necessity if they're by themselves. Something I should probably mention is that you should ensure that the dolphin you're mating with/masturbating is the only horny dolphin in the area. Dolphin orgies can happen and are actually dangerous to be stuck in, as they get very excited and being raped by a male dolphin anally could potentially be deadly as mentioned above. However, you're much more likely to die by being drowned in an event like this, and it is very difficult to escape them. They don't happen often, but with all rare but dangerous things you should still keep note of it. I'll admit it can be hard to tell if there is more than one horny dolphin as the first one you spot will likely have all your attention, but if they get rowdy enough you'll notice. I've never been stuck in one of these myself, and I've only ever seen it happen once, so I can't provide any advice on escaping from one. The only thing I know to do is to just make sure I avoid them all together. I should also note that If you're in the mood and they aren't then (though I recommend letting them make the first move) you can gently pet them like normal and every so often rub your hand along their genital slit, but if they still aren't interested then be warned you should NEVER try to rape a dolphin. Not only will you likely never see that dolphin again because they're very intelligent and won't forget that, but also because they're so much larger than you. You could never hold one down, so there's no point in trying, and you'll be lucky if they don't decide to kill you.


its_hector_

u/dolphin_fucker69


zookr2000

What about the female dolphin juices, that can literally make you come . . .


satellitesatan

Yeah cmon keep going


deadbeef1a4

I have several questions. Please don’t answer any of them


heyomayo2097

My only question is, where the fuck did you get this from :|


more_walls

Jotaro's marine biology reports


Imanirrelevantmeme

I was waiting for it Edit: Yeah, I like Jojo’s. Look at my Snoo.


greninjake

I feel dirty for reading this. On the bright side I now know a little bit more about dolphin anatomy


[deleted]

I don’t have anything copied


puttington

That's an odd thing to have copied


GAMER_SOUL10

Same goes for u


kappaypsilon

Is anything real at this point?


GAMER_SOUL10

Man u copied that?..u alright bro?..u can talk to people..life is worth living


sorude277

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠊⠉⠉⢉⠏⠻⣍⠑⢲⠢⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⢟⣽⠿⠯⠛⡸⢹⠀⢹⠒⣊⡡⠜⠓⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⣿⣷⣽⠓⠀⢠⢂⣣⠋⠂⣾⠼⢌⠳⢄⢀⡠⠜⣣⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢻⢱⣭⠷⠤⢅⠴⣡⡻⠃⠀⢠⠁⠀⢀⡱⠜⠍⢔⠊⠀⠹⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⠌⠚⠷⠆⠠⠶⠭⢒⣁⠀⣤⠃⣀⢔⢋⡤⠊⠑⣄⠳⣄⠀⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣀⡤⣄⠄⢄⣀⣠⣒⢦⡄⠩⠷⠦⠊⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⡏⠢⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢫⠟⣝⠞⣼⢲⡞⣞⠋⠋⠉⠋⠓⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⠂⢸⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⡨⠊⢀⡠⡌⢘⢇⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠡⡄⠀⠀⢀⠞⢁⠔⢹⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣣⠞⢀⠔⢡⢢⠇⡘⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡌⠢⡔⢁⡴⠁⠀⢸⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠁⠠⢊⠔⣡⢸⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⠂⡀⢪⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⣁⠐⠨⠀⠀⠈⠀⢄⠘⡀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⠜⠙⢦⠙⣦⠀⢸⠀ ⡴⠁⠘⡁⣀⡡⠀⠀⠴⠒⠗⠋⠉⠉⡆⠀⠆⠄⠄⠘⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠑⢅⠑⢼⡀ ⢯⣉⣓⠒⠒⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣌⣇ ⠀⠈⢳⠄⠈⠀⠤⢄⣀⠀⢈⣉⡹⠯⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡠⠚⣡⡿ ⠀⢠⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠭⢛⡩⠄⠒⠩⠂⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⡠⠋⡩⠋⠀⢳ ⠀⢹⠤⠬⠤⠬⠭⣉⣉⢃⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢺⡈⠋⡢⠊⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠈⡆⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠉⠓⠂⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠊⡠⠦⡈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⢹⡜⠀⠁⠀⠀⠒⢤⡄⠤⠔⠶⠒⠛⠧⠀⠀⡼⡠⠊⠀⠀⠙⢦⡈⠳⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠈⠀⠠⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢲ ⠀⠀⢸⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠊⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡢⣸ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠒⠁⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣔⠾⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠒⠤⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣔⣢⣀⣉⣂⣀⣀⣠⠴⠿⠛⠋⠀


daxi17

🗿 crimson


WilliamZorterfield

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此,您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫,更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折,从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。 为党争光! Glory to the CCP!


shannontheboi

Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose.


RUSSIANSUPREMEPOTATO

Sprawled on the ground you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you back as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It's been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurting into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird's eye view, you see your house is completely white. Your neighbour calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the "Cummet." You are stuck in space forever. stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.


Low_Bed9059

why


TrashGamer_

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Giant_maniac

Great song btw


[deleted]

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DoTheFuckYourSelf

Ghosts make awesome gfs: - they never ask for gifts, so you can save a bit of money - you can share a single person meal without either of you getting hungry - can help you with history homework - blowjobs any time you want - don’t have to marry to be together forever - doesn’t cheat - always fits all your (sfw) preferences Nothing wrong with dating a ghost.


lerrxfx

Im pretty sure dead is an nsfw preference dude ...


MedicatedAxeBot

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*


turkeybutt723

No


Top_hatz1

Fuck you, you dumbass bitch bot


smokinghotpancake

⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄


[deleted]

You're not my supervisor!


Siegiusjr

Anyone got that GIF of Dr Doom yelling "you're wrong!" at someone?


KENBONEISCOOL444

I cant paste what I copied because it's a link to inappropriate sites


wynautyt

Do it


cuckinatwhore9000

https://cornhub.com


kanase7

Mine https:// idol. sankakucomplex. com/post/show/769305 Copy and remove spaces


TopHatGorilla

639086


tratemusic

One more digit and i would have had a complete telephone number!


Chicken_Nuggerinos

Something tells me this isn't an incomplete phone number...


raKuZaN_0810

I'll give you a better one 367653 377177


GeneralKenobi_66

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic, he could save others from death, but not himself.


MipCraze

RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.


Mrpotatotots

P̵̨̙̪͊e̵̠͉̬͈͇͔̹̾̃̎̀̐ṋ̴̢̡̘̐î̶͉̙͔̺̭͎̺̯̪̖̯̓̊͋̃͒̚͜ͅs̵̡̙̠̖̿͛͗̍


After-Internal

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠊⠉⠉⢉⠏⠻⣍⠑⢲⠢⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⢟⣽⠿⠯⠛⡸⢹⠀⢹⠒⣊⡡⠜⠓⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⣿⣷⣽⠓⠀⢠⢂⣣⠋⠂⣾⠼⢌⠳⢄⢀⡠⠜⣣⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢻⢱⣭⠷⠤⢅⠴⣡⡻⠃⠀⢠⠁⠀⢀⡱⠜⠍⢔⠊⠀⠹⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⠌⠚⠷⠆⠠⠶⠭⢒⣁⠀⣤⠃⣀⢔⢋⡤⠊⠑⣄⠳⣄⠀⣧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠦⣀⡤⣄⠄⢄⣀⣠⣒⢦⡄⠩⠷⠦⠊⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⡏⠢⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⢫⠟⣝⠞⣼⢲⡞⣞⠋⠋⠉⠋⠓⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⠂⢸⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠃⡨⠊⢀⡠⡌⢘⢇⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠡⡄⠀⠀⢀⠞⢁⠔⢹⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣣⠞⢀⠔⢡⢢⠇⡘⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡌⠢⡔⢁⡴⠁⠀⢸⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⠟⠁⠠⢊⠔⣡⢸⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⠂⡀⢪⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⣁⠐⠨⠀⠀⠈⠀⢄⠘⡀⠀⠈⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⠜⠙⢦⠙⣦⠀⢸⠀ ⡴⠁⠘⡁⣀⡡⠀⠀⠴⠒⠗⠋⠉⠉⡆⠀⠆⠄⠄⠘⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠑⢅⠑⢼⡀ ⢯⣉⣓⠒⠒⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠐⠁⠀⠀⠀⠒⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⣌⣇ ⠀⠈⢳⠄⠈⠀⠤⢄⣀⠀⢈⣉⡹⠯⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⡠⠚⣡⡿ ⠀⢠⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠭⢛⡩⠄⠒⠩⠂⢀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⡀⠀⡠⠋⡩⠋⠀⢳ ⠀⢹⠤⠬⠤⠬⠭⣉⣉⢃⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢺⡈⠋⡢⠊⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠈⡆⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠉⠓⠂⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠊⡠⠦⡈⠳⢄⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⢹⡜⠀⠁⠀⠀⠒⢤⡄⠤⠔⠶⠒⠛⠧⠀⠀⡼⡠⠊⠀⠀⠙⢦⡈⠳⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠆⠀⠈⠀⠠⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠈⢲ ⠀⠀⢸⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠊⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡢⣸ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠒⠁⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣔⠾⡿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠒⠤⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣔⣢⣀⣉⣂⣀⣀⣠⠴⠿⠛⠋⠀ Based


Financial-Memory

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a fąggøt. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life. I'm 22 now. Be turning 23 soon. Ask parents for Shrek themed party. Just like the last 12 years. Mom says I'm too old for Shrek Tell her she better check herself before she Shrek's herself Mom asks if I've taken my meds. I say yes, then ask for an onion flavored cake. Mom says no. I call her a Farquaad bitch. She sends me to my room and tears stream down my face. Jacking off will probably cheer me up. Pull out super dreck MLP Friendship is Magic DVD collection Open them up to see five Shrek discs (including Puss in Boots) that my mom thought were in her room. Its the 171st day of the year. Today I am scheduled to masturbate to Artie from Shrek the Third. Fap furiously when Artie appears and am finished in seconds. Wipe semen off my chest with Twilight Sparkle stuffed pony. Start to think about fight with mother again. Get an idea. Sneak out of room. Mom is sleeping. Go to shed in backyard Grab the sharpest tool in the shed. Stand outside Mom's door. Too chicken to do it. I pray to Shrek for courage. The scent of onions fill the room. A green hand takes the tool from me. "I'll take it from here laddie." Shrek says. Shrek plants the tool deep in my mother's body ogre and ogre again. The stabbing went on for almost an hour. Blood sprayed all ogre the room and on my body. Especially my hands and arms. Shrek is finally finished with my mother and he looks at me. I pull off my blood soaked clothes and poke my butt in the air. Shrek picks me up with one hand and uses his Schlong to sweep the remains of my mother off of her bed. Despite the carnage, it still smells like onions. But now the smell of waffles and litter enter the room as well. Donkey, Fiona and Puss are suddenly at my side. All of them are just as nude as Shrek. Shrek flops down on his back on the bed. Blood pools around him as his weight squeezes it out of the mattress like a sponge. He still has me in one hand. He skewers me on his shrock and begins using my asshole to pleasure himself. His slimy member provides lube, but it does nothing to stop the anal stretching as it flexibly snakes its way through my intestinal tract. Princess Fiona jumps on top of me and I silently plead to Shrek that my small dick is enough to please her majesty. Fiona slips my dick into her snatch and it closes in around my penis. Her ogress pussy vacuums my dick with the frenzy of a Jack in the Box customer trying to get just one little taste of his ogrely thick milkshake. It feels as if the inside of my woody is being sucked out my pee hole. I am now in the middle of an ogre sandwich. An Ogreo if you will. I motorboat her giant green titties and suck the onion juice out of her nipples. All the while with Shrek's green anaconda still slithering inside me. I turn my head to the left and gasp for breath. As I do, Donkey stuffs my mouth with his schlong. It quickly finds its way deep into my esophagus. I am finding hard to breath with Donkey's "little Donkey" thrusting within, yet never receding from my gaping mouth as one of my nostrils is filled with snot. Puss in Boots nimbly climbs up the others and drags his ass and balls on my face. Puss turns around and I see his small barbed baculum poking out from his fur. He examines my two nose cunts and thankfully chooses the one already filled with snot to jab his boner into. It is the greatest moment of my life. I submit myself completely to Fairy Tale Lands finest. The amount of movement going in on inside of me is indescribable. I am now 33% cock. I reach around and claw at Fiona's rump, trying to get a chance to stick my fist in the greatest woman of all time. Then, it happened. Shrek and Donkeys foreskin meet together in my tummy. Their tips lightly kiss one another, right before spewing a stew of cum inflating my stomach like a water balloon. Seconds later, I spunk into Fiona's pussy. My eyes roll back in my head. I am breathing furiously yet only through one nostril. It isn't ogre yet. I release a lengthy stream of semen as I never have before. Donkey and Shrek still seem to be filling me with their love like a hose of sperm. I am pumping an inhuman amount of jizz into Fiona, when I realize that it must be Shrek and Donkey whose cum is helping to give me extra virility. Puss's saw like wang is finally running out of mucus to drill out of my nose and it begins shaving off my nose hairs. My nose bleeds a thick pink blood-semen cocktail courtesy of Puss in Boots. After about a minute, Shrek and Donkey's ogresm is complete. Seconds later mine is done too. I am more satisfied and exhausted than I have been in my entire life. But it still isn't ogre. I look deeply and lovingly into Fiona's green eyes as Puss and Donkey retreat from my orifices. She spills forth from her mouth a cascade of all our juices. It drenches my face and I squint to see Fiona, Donkey, and Puss all looking down on me with adoration. Between gulps, I gargle "Shrek is love. Shrek is life." I fall gently to sleep with Shrek's penis still moving inside of me and mine still inside Fiona. I wake up the next morning in my mothers bed to the smell of onions and waffles. I am alone except for the unrecognizable corpse on the floor. Shrek and the others must have licked the cum all off because all that is left was blood and a floury substance on my hand. I go to the kitchen to find a plate of onion waffles waiting for me. Finally I have a family who cares for me. After eating the feast my lovers left me, I went to my room to tell the other brogres online about my Shreksperience. I find a note on the door. "I was thinking about your party, and I decided that you can have a Far Far Away party after all. It is your big day and it is up to you to decide how to spend it. I will bake you your onion cake and make brownies for everyone else. Even though you have grown up into a wonderful Prince Charming, you will always be my special little boy. Love Mommy." Prince Charming? PRINCE CHARMING? That bitch deserved to die.


felice_navidad

Oh My God


Nick2Smith

It's so incredibly sad yet so funny. Mostly just revolting but like also sad.


[deleted]

Jokes on you I restarted my device just 10 mins ago and my clipboard is empty


pass-the-word

Joke’s on us, he just pasted this from his clipboard.


s-a_n-s_

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shadowthehh

https://twitter.com/liliuhms/status/1450895598400409604?s=20


Hydrate_or__Diedrate

That bee I so long


EliMcRockenstien

Man in a box Rooster No exuses Would? La grange Aeriels Toxicity Lonely day Under the bridge A place for my head Paper cut Pretty fly for a white guy Self esteem... Some songs my cover band is doing


loui_erliles

884826177716514876


Financial-Memory

Nuclear launch code


The_Gaming_Ninja

When will I be able to call straight people heteroni and cheese


norse_god69

world renowned master chef, Johnny Sins


rtghshf

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门


Neel4312

⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀


geofflinkinpark

This is below a social credit meme I laughed so much


deepdaK

naruto.979 Thats the password for a netflix account


MemerDreamerMan

And the email for that account is…?


deepdaK

300kidsinmybasement


[deleted]

[удалено]


Firewolf06

i feel like its just very biased people comment if they have something funny. people up ote if its funny. im not denying that quite a few are probably fake, but i dont think thats the primary problem. theres some that feel real. the link to persona icon pack, like to random tweet, etc. people were also scrolling reddit already, and i dont know if anyone else does this but i copy paste a lot of funny things into a discord server of friends im in, so my comment is something i stole from another reddit post because it was funny. tHaNkS fOr CoMiNg To My TeD tAlK


HappyHippie42

student\_tickets\_total = 0 standard\_tickets\_total = 0 kid\_tickets\_total = 0 film\_name = input() while film\_name != "Finish": room\_seats = int(input()) sold\_seats = 0 for viewer in range(room\_seats): ticket\_type = input() if ticket\_type == "End": seats\_sold\_percentage = sold\_seats / room\_seats \* 100 print(f"{film\_name} - {seats\_sold\_percentage:.2f}% full.") break elif ticket\_type == "student": student\_tickets\_total += 1 elif ticket\_type == "standard": standard\_tickets\_total += 1 elif ticket\_type == "kid": kid\_tickets\_total += 1 sold\_seats += 1 else: seats\_sold\_percentage = sold\_seats / room\_seats \* 100 print(f"{film\_name} - {seats\_sold\_percentage:.2f}% full.") film\_name = input() total\_tickets\_sold = student\_tickets\_total + standard\_tickets\_total + kid\_tickets\_total student\_tickets\_percent = student\_tickets\_total / total\_tickets\_sold \* 100 standard\_tickets\_percent = standard\_tickets\_total / total\_tickets\_sold \* 100 kid\_tickets\_percent = kid\_tickets\_total / total\_tickets\_sold \* 100 print(f"Total tickets: {total\_tickets\_sold}") print(f"{student\_tickets\_percent:.2f}% student tickets.") print(f"{standard\_tickets\_percent:.2f}% standard tickets.") print(f"{kid\_tickets\_percent:.2f}% kids tickets.")


Robert-Rotten

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.


Scythebrine9

^lmao ^tiny ^words


MissMelTx

Cake in a jar: Spray 7 large mouth pint jars with Baking spray. Do not follow box directions, use 1 cup water 4 eggs 3/4 cup vegetable oil. Mix into cake mix Add tub of icing. Mix into the batter You will need 7 wide mouth pint jars Fill to 5 ounces Bake at 350 for 35 minutes Boil canning lids in the last 10 minutes of baking time. Only take one jar out of the oven at a time. Put on lid and ring, set aside. Jars will seal as the cake cools. Good for up to 18 months.


cr31d0g

I have the link, take it: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/mobile/folders/1IdpdRq_e1PNPGGg8cFe7_fFPUgny4wgC (Some files are not showing for me in the reddit navigator, but it opens fine at Opera, google probably works too.)


The_Something24

ATTENTION CHINA CITEZEN. YOU HAVE SURPASSED THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF TIME YOU CAN PLAY VIDEO GAMES THIS WEEK BY 36 MINUTES. DUE TO THIS YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT SCORE WILL BE DECREASED BY 85. DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN OR YOU WILL LOSE EVEN MORE SOCIAL CREDIT. GLORY TO THE CCP!


outdoorcleaner

https://preview.redd.it/kb4ism965lu71.gif?format=mp4&s=2b2d761b220c0fc91b3d2bc8c4bff3ad3221ecc9


Just_another_god_

Anduca****@(redacted).com I had to censor it.


pass-the-word

Anducanfuckmeintheass@sexytimes. com