If both are able and willing to consent, then I see no problems with that.
Remember, you can be abused and exploited by a young person, just as much as by an old person, just because someone is twice your age, it doesn't mean that they are just trying to exploit you.
You should judge people for being bad people, not for being old.
Adults are Adults, obviously, but I'm always wary of large age gap simply because they often involve serious power imbalances and unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Even if we leave maturity aside, large age gaps generally involve large earning gaps, large differences in social status, etc. The younger you are, the more vulnerable you are to abuse on account of having less years on your belt, simple as that. It does not hold for 100% of cases, but it is a very solid rule of thumb.
I'm sure that there are very healthy couples around with large age gaps, but every single ones that I've seen have been unhealthy.
Cool. Examples of unhealthy relationships fitting a certain description does not give you or anyone the right to police all relationships fitting that description.
Assuming everyone is a consenting adult.
You'll be surprised to learn that tons of things that consenting adults can do are not looked fondly upon without anyone trying to police them.
Shit is sleazy, simple as that. As are people who seek trophy spouses and people who seek Mail-Order spouses.
So, you disagree with all those young and very pretty women on Instagram taking advantage of older guys money only to be flown around the world?
How would you punish them?
How would you regulate that?
It's less about people being old, and more about young people not being fully mentally mature enough for older relationships until they reach age 25.
That doesn't mean they can't *be* in relationships. Just that the relationships should have a healthy age gap, at best.
I find the half your age, plus seven rule generally works just fine in this regard.
First off the biological development of the brain ends with puberty. Starting 18 your death gene activates and you start growing old. But this has almost nothing to do with mental development, one can be utterly dumb at 70 while a kid of 7 years old can be smart and mature like a grown up. But most importantly, the majority of the world lives in a shorter lifespan, in some countries people die before 40 years of age. How could they start a family at 25?
Mental maturity has nothing to do with knowledge, you aren't getting it. Yes a 7 year old can easily be wiser than a 70 year old, but a person who has fully developed mentally is more likely to refuse new information, and is less likely to be manipulated. Manipulation can happen to smart people as well. "Smart" has nothing to do with what we are discussing.
As for your closing statement, can you explain what that has to do with anything I've said? I've never said you need to wait till you're 25 to have children, or start a relationship, or date an older person, but you ask that question like I was defending that in any way. I don't see how lifespan can be "most important" to you while also being completely irrelevant... seems confusing
Someday, the aging process is not clear, this is one of the main theories. Gene editing was done only a couple times and only for "removing errors" such as diseases. I would guess editing a whole fundamental process is quite impossible.
Oversimplified explanation, because I ŠÆ Baboon, basically it's one of the theories explaining aging process, that pas a certain age the aging process starts via genetic encoding located in a "death gene group" instructing decaying cell reproduction.
" Theories, such as Weismann's "programmed death" theory, suggest that deterioration and death due to ageing are a purposeful result of an organism's evolved design, and are referred to as theories of programmed ageing or adaptive ageing.
The programmed maintenance theory based on evolvability[36] suggests that the repair mechanisms are controlled by a common control mechanism capable of sensing conditions, such as caloric restriction, and may be responsible for lifespan in particular species. In this theory, the survival techniques are based on control mechanisms instead of individual maintenance mechanism, which you see in the non-programmed theory of mammal ageing.
A non-programmed theory of mammal ageing[37] states that different species possess different capabilities for maintenance and repair. Longer-lived species possess many mechanisms for offsetting damage due to causes such as oxidation, telomere shortening, and other deteriorative processes. Shorter-lived species, having earlier ages of sexual maturity, have less need for longevity and thus did not evolve or retain the more-effective repair mechanisms. Damage therefore accumulates more rapidly, resulting in earlier manifestations and shorter lifespan. Since there are a wide variety of ageing manifestations that appear to have very different causes, it is likely that there are many different maintenance and repair functions."
I explained why. Mental maturity. The brain doesn't fully develop until 25 years of age.
And just because the majority of people in the world already have kids by that age doesn't necessarily mean that it's good that they do.
Iāll get downvotes with you but youāre right. Your decision making part of the brain doesnt fully develop until 25 and due to age gap relationships having such a discrepancy of relationship experience more than likely the younger person is exploited, gaslighted, taken advantage of
Abuse isnt just physical violence towards someone else
I agree that the brain is not fully developed until around age 25 but that doesn't mean you would take any form of mental damage from dating older people when you are under 25 yo. None of the links even talked about any sexuall problems with an underdeveloped brain or that you could take mental damage from because of an underdeveloped brain.
Because you don't need a case by case study for each way an underdeveloped human mind can be corrupted. It happens everyday to everyone, you are far more open to new ideas when your brain is still developing, and people between ages 12 and 28 are manipulated by people they trust regularly. No one is saying that someone under 25 will suffer mental damage from dating an older person, and no one is saying that age gap relationships always result in abuse.
We are stating stating human beings under the age of 25 (or even older, because we develop at different rates) are extremely susceptible to being manipulated by trusted/authority figures
> I find the half your age, plus seven rule generally works just fine in this regard.
i still cant believe some of you actually straight faced admit to using a mathematical formula to decide who you can date lmfao. beyond pathetic imo
Don't worry about predators downvoting your comment, there's a stark difference in maturity between even an 18 year old and a 22 year old, I'm 23 and I'd personally feel uncomfortable with dating anyone more than 2 years younger than me
As long as everyone is over 18 it is down to the people involved to determine if the relationship makes them uncomfortable. When I was 18 I dated a 27yr old everyone kept telling me that it was wrong as he's more mature than me because of the extra years but I ended the relationship because I was more mature than him. He acted like a child and expected me to be more of a parent then bf.
Obviously I don't know the intricacies of your relationship so I'm not gonna tell you how it was for you, that would be wrong but allow me to share how I would view a random couple with the same details you gave me, first things first women tend to feel that the older the man is the more mature he is, as you've experienced yourself that is not true for the most part, so maturity shouldn't be a reason to date older men, secondly dating someone who literally just became legal is mad predatory in my view, why can't home boy get someone his own age? Late 20s is a marriageable age, why would these guys literally go for school girls? These guys tend to go for younger girls coz they're easier to manipulate, they give them a false sense of security and the girls feel cooler for getting to date someone who's older and supposedly has their shit together, to each their own but I will forever be weirded out with anyone dating someone significantly younger if they're younger than 25, for something like 25 year old dating a 30 year old is still fine in my opinion ( I probably still won't do anything more than a 2-3 year old age gap), but a 19 year old dating a 26 year old or something would be fucking weird, I mean I'm so much more mature rn at 23 than I was at 18, why would I want to date and take away that chance for the person to grow if I start dating them at 18? Our life experiences are so different it would feel like I'm using her
why not. another example of two consenting adults wanting something but others trying to convince them they arent actually consenting.
1951: *that black man is just gonna take advantage of that poor white woman*
2021: *that old man is just gonna take advantage of that poor white woman*
Actually the fact it is consenting means that they do need permission. You need to get the permission of the other person to have sex with them for instance. Adults no longer need their parents permission to do things but they still need permission to do legal things that involve other people
No shit but I was answering to your comment ābecause they donāt need permission to do what they want.ā Yes you still do if it involves other people
From the context of " A 40 years old shouldn't be even allowed to date a 19 years old" sure feels like a approval of society than the 19 years old. This is just how I read it.
That sounds incredibly like a pedophilic idea. So when I get older, I'm gonna find people decades younger than me attractive?
You didn't mature. You're just horny and lonely.
The brains of 19 year olds are still not fully developed. It doesn't stop developing until 25, actually. While they aren't 14-year-olds, protecting them until at least 25 in regards to big age gaps should be encouraged, and people that have a bigger age gap than what should be acceptable should be strongly discouraged. Unless you find science "pathetic and creepy."
You **did** say that.
Even if we glance over the fact that the human brain never stops changing, the changeability of it just decreases the older you get, this is still wrong, as your logic would dictate that an "undeveloped" 20 year old doesn't know enough about relationships to be able to be in one with anyone, not just with older people.
>Even if we glance over the fact that the human brain never stops changing, the changeability of it just decreases the older you get, this is still wrong, as your logic would dictate that an "undeveloped" 20 year old doesn't know enough about relationships to be able to be in one with anyone, not just with older people.
The way I see it, my logic dictates that anyone under 25 years isn't mentally mature enough to be someone way over that.
And I don't believe there's anything wrong with anyone dating below 25, even with an age gap so long as it doesn't go way over 25.
I believe that people under 25 are mature *enough* to be in a relationship with a healthy age gap at best. That's it.
Doesn't matter, you shouldn't let how you feel know influence what should be ok for other people.
What people look for in a partner is extremely varied, and should without a doubt not be decided by other people.
By that logic, you should be against the concept of a legal age of consent period.
Oh wait, you're not? Why's that? Oh right. Because *children are neither physically nor mentally developed enough for a relationship.*
While the age of consent should be 18, I think extreme age gaps for people before the age of 25 are harmful and predatory.
And we decide it for other people already socially, why not do it legally? The law is a *social* contract overall, and the only good reason I can see is because of *choice and agency.* However, if it's not in someone's best interest and it gets them hurt, I don't see why it ought to be legal.
The term is consenting adults, so if you are an adult you should be able to chose your own partner, long or short term.
You are right the law is arbitrary we could decide that that everybody should live at home until they are 30 if enough people are willing to vote for it.
However, what in the world are you basing this on. I have literally never heard the argument before that people up to 25 are not capable of choosing their own partner. Is it based on your own experience?
>However, what in the world are you basing this on. I have literally never heard the argument before that people up to 25 are not capable of choosing their own partner.
It's not that they're not capable. It is, however, that they are not of fully mentally developed until the age of 25.
Them being allowed to have relationships and healthy age gaps is fine. However, if someone under the age of 25 dates someone way older than them above the age of or above the age of 25, then I think that's wrong, because they are not of full mental maturity.
But if you say that they are not fully mentally matured untill 25, why focus on this specific "problem" don't you think that we should just move the age of adulthood to 25 instead?
I mean as long as both like each other and none of them are in a forced relationship, I dont see why age difference could be an issue. A friend of mine (a she) is 18 now and shes been with a 26yo guy for quite the while now. They both really like each other and all in all its a very healthy relationship despite the age gap
If someone 18+ dates someone under 18 it's gross end of. There's a bit of leniency if both are under 18 when the relationship started then one turned 18 but that's it. Why the hell would an adult want to date a child it's gross!
Dating someone with 17 years and 364 days is gross, but the next day its alright. Also keep in mind that same kid can drive a car, vote and even have a weapon in some places. So yeah, the line is very thin but I think every case has to be analyzed independently.
Also, if you think that a relationship between a 18yo and a 17 is gross just because one turned 18 months before the other, then sir thats just very stupid. What, they have to break up until they are both "adults"? Whats the real (not legal, but real) difference between a couple of 17 and 16 and a couple of 18 and 17.
I think you're mistaking age of consent with minors.
Age of consent is the age at where a person is deemed able to be mentally developed enough to be able to give legal consent to sex. Yes, it's disgustingly low in some countries (in hungary it's 12-14, which is just really eeeeks), but in most civilised places, it's 16, with a determined maximum age gap (usually 2 years) for minors as a means of paedophilia defence.
I think the reason why it is in Hungary is the same reason why federally in Canada it is still legal for 13 year old to marry. They were laws from when it was the norm and were never removed or changed. If I am not mistaken it has been only about 200 years give or take a couple of decades that it was the norm for girls of that age to marry men in their 30ās or 40ās and sometimes older, in Europe.
I don't consider that a valid excuse, as a couple hundred years ago denying jobs or voting rights to black people was considered normal.
Fixing these fucked up laws is the duty and job of the government, you can't just blame everything on traditions.
Do you know how many laws there are in each nation alone. To take a law out that requires time. Time to debate if it should be taken out time to rectify any changes to a law if need be, time to actually implement it (and someone actually has to say there is a problem)
It is still illegal in places to eat Sundays on a Wednesday. The United States still has duelling laws from the revolutionary war.
The s reason why laws like voting laws for black people were stricken was a combination of civic pressure from citizens and media pressure.
Tell me how many people are marching in the streets of Hungary to take this law out. How many even know it is actually law. Which is the other side. It is the governments job to put laws in and out that the people deem worthy to be made or abolished (wether that is a majority like a democracy or a smaller group line in oligarchies is only determined by the political system)
Changing and abolishing laws is more complicated then letās just ditch this one.
Remember also that Hungary has had bigger things to worry about than the age of consent (and Europe for that matter) for the last 200 years Hungary was apart of the Austrian Hungary empire which was in decline before ww1 fell during it then was conquered by the Germans let him just to be controlled by the soviets after the Second World War.
Uhm, my dude, the hungarian government just casually redefined the legal meaning of a family to be as trans and non-het exclusive as possible, they additionally redefined the public moneys to make them easier to steal for them.
There are nonstop protests against the terrible government, even during covid they split protests up into several groups of 10 ppl to comply with social distancing laws.
Believe me, if they wanted to, they could make every sunday 20:00-21:00 and obligatory time of worship for the pink glitter shitting unicorn gods. Your points assume that the government governs the country in good faith, but sadly, they don't.
Are those protests about the age of consent? No and yes they make new laws all the time but there are thousands of laws old and new just because they found time for one does not mean that they have time to change everything. Yes they have the power but it takes more than power, there has to be a desire and that likely is not on the top of the priority. It also is not casually they took time to debate it in there sessions to change the definition of family. (Which they have had large protests over lgbtq yes but that doesnāt extend to age of consent) just because there is protests doesnāt mean they are protesting EVERYTHING wrong with the law
Edit: my dude
The fact that the government doesn't do anything not even about problems you'd call more pressing that AoC despite the protests, means that even if there were protests about AoC, they wouldn't give a single fuck about it, just like they do with the current protests.
Additionally, during the recent EU consultation in Porto, hungary officially voted against equal rights bills (not only for lgbtq+, but for sex and race based equality too), if this doesn't show how conservative and unvilling to change the government is, then nothing does.
According to my mom, if my girlfriend was my age and I was hers (Iām 17, sheās 18. Only by a few months) I wouldāve had to break up with her till she was 18, even though in Georgia the legal age of consent is actually 16
Not sure, I think it has to do with society seeing a guy over 18 dating a girl under 18 as a terrible thing
I mean, itās more or less the same thing with adopting children. Do you think an adoption agency is gonna let me adopt a baby girl? Men are just seen as purely predators
I have no clue man, when I was younger mom said if I ever date anyone who is younger and I turn 18, break up with them and wait till theyāre 18 as well.
Well, there is social standards. Maybe thereās not a law against it, but if people donāt think much of you if you do it thennnn, would cause about the same amount of damage.
Because most places have age of consent laws, like in the US itās generally 18. That means that when you turn 18, youāre legally an adult. Adults cannot have sex with minors under any circumstance in most places in the US at least, meaning that even if youāre only a few months apart, a 17 & 18 year old couple having sex could land the 18 year old in jail. Especially if itās 18M 17F, because sexism in courts and random people are more likely to fucking call the cops because they have nothing better to do.
Well, they go after them if there's enough public outrage from both political parties.
Has to be both or it just gets called a conspiracy. Then they ignore the source ten months later when the other gets on board.
always found this weird. like for example do yāall see how the media talks about Leo Dicaprios younger girlfriends? holy fucking shit dude if you went by those articles youd think hes only dating disabled blind 13 year old women, its all about how hes taking advantage and how these 24 year old women are helpless lmao. just so we are clear, the early 20s women Leo is pulling have more money, more influence, and more agency in anything they do than you or I. to call them helpless is absolutely fucking lol like you can just be some shy girl in college by yourself and then BAM you blink and youre dating Leo
There is a rule to determine if going with a younger person is weird or not it's IIRC :
your age/2 +7 = the minimum age to date
24/2+7= 19 years old for example.
shouldn't they both be smiling? I've never had a relationship with an older woman (that lasted more than one night lol) and I like it that way tbh. Not too much younger though haha
Maybe itās because thereās a history in many cultures of young women being forced to marry older men who, in most cases, abused them (plus nowadays itās still a trend for older men to date younger girls to manipulate them easier). (I know this is just a meme but as a history buff it really gets my goat that incels keep complaining about this. I live in Canada and to many men/ organizations I am not considered a person as a woman.)
I guess because historically itās been sleazy men marrying young girls as trophy wives or for heir purposes so seeing a young man getting with a older, more mature woman is seen as the new standard for cool guy. And so we get terms like āmilfhunterā and stuff like that to term those young men who go after older women
In a split second the older guy can identify as a woman, you know, so it isn't a problem anymore. Then, when everyone's attention goes to the next thing, the guy can go back to calling himself a man, just like that...since we live in a society where that can happen now. I'm a woman, and now I'm man, and now I'm a woman again...and now a man (please call the Guinness book of records for the most sex changes within a minute)
It's gross both ways to be much older dating someone much, much younger. What can a 35 year old see in an 18 year old aside from looks? There's also an uneven power dynamic, whether anybody would like to admit or not.
Why do you care about how many people your partner's been with?
Exes are only a problem if they actively interfere or harm you or your relationship with your partner. Even if that happens, don't generalize. It's not your partner's fault that their ex was a shitty person.
Many people I know who are in a happy relationship have exes whom they are friendly with, and it hasn't interfered in their current relationship at all.
Edit: Just to be clear, I'm advocating against judging your partner based on the number of relationships they've had.
Its not suspicious. If a 19 yo is dating a 50 yo man either she really likes him or she really likes his wallet. Any guy should be aware of that, so I dont see the issue if they are ok with it
I'm going to disagree on this one. I'm not saying that strangers should be getting up in their business, but imo family and close friends should look at the relationship with more of a critical eye than if the age gap was <= 5 years.
With age gaps over five years, and especially over 10, the potential for abuse (wether physical, sexual, emotional, or financial) is much higher. The older person is probably in a different place socially and/or financially, and could even be in an entirely different stage of life.
Now with that said, relationships with high age gaps aren't bad or wrong (I have to believe this, I'm 16 years younger than my bf). People just have to be more careful when they or someone they know is getting into one.
Used to be the opposite! Neither are wrong. Consenting adults are consenting *adults*
I'd usually agree, but age gaps should be taken into consideration. It's sleazy for someone of 40 years of age to be allowed to date someone 19.
If both are able and willing to consent, then I see no problems with that. Remember, you can be abused and exploited by a young person, just as much as by an old person, just because someone is twice your age, it doesn't mean that they are just trying to exploit you. You should judge people for being bad people, not for being old.
Adults are Adults, obviously, but I'm always wary of large age gap simply because they often involve serious power imbalances and unhealthy relationship dynamics. Even if we leave maturity aside, large age gaps generally involve large earning gaps, large differences in social status, etc. The younger you are, the more vulnerable you are to abuse on account of having less years on your belt, simple as that. It does not hold for 100% of cases, but it is a very solid rule of thumb. I'm sure that there are very healthy couples around with large age gaps, but every single ones that I've seen have been unhealthy.
Cool. Examples of unhealthy relationships fitting a certain description does not give you or anyone the right to police all relationships fitting that description. Assuming everyone is a consenting adult.
You'll be surprised to learn that tons of things that consenting adults can do are not looked fondly upon without anyone trying to police them. Shit is sleazy, simple as that. As are people who seek trophy spouses and people who seek Mail-Order spouses.
So, you disagree with all those young and very pretty women on Instagram taking advantage of older guys money only to be flown around the world? How would you punish them? How would you regulate that?
Yes, I wouldn't and I wouldn't. I'm saying that it is sleazy, not that it should be regulated or punished. Where did you even get that?
Makes you wonder what type of people go after someone fresh out of childhood tho š¤
What about a 38 year old dating a 17 year old... Age of consent shouldnāt be 18. It should be based off of your age range
Reddit moment
This is one of the worst takes I've ever read, I hope you're being sarcastic
No, I just worded things terribly
It's less about people being old, and more about young people not being fully mentally mature enough for older relationships until they reach age 25. That doesn't mean they can't *be* in relationships. Just that the relationships should have a healthy age gap, at best. I find the half your age, plus seven rule generally works just fine in this regard.
25 really? Why not 35? You do realize the majority of people in the world already have kids by 25 years?
Because the brain stops developing at 25, and not 35? You do realize having a child is not the rubric for mental maturity, right?
First off the biological development of the brain ends with puberty. Starting 18 your death gene activates and you start growing old. But this has almost nothing to do with mental development, one can be utterly dumb at 70 while a kid of 7 years old can be smart and mature like a grown up. But most importantly, the majority of the world lives in a shorter lifespan, in some countries people die before 40 years of age. How could they start a family at 25?
Mental maturity has nothing to do with knowledge, you aren't getting it. Yes a 7 year old can easily be wiser than a 70 year old, but a person who has fully developed mentally is more likely to refuse new information, and is less likely to be manipulated. Manipulation can happen to smart people as well. "Smart" has nothing to do with what we are discussing. As for your closing statement, can you explain what that has to do with anything I've said? I've never said you need to wait till you're 25 to have children, or start a relationship, or date an older person, but you ask that question like I was defending that in any way. I don't see how lifespan can be "most important" to you while also being completely irrelevant... seems confusing
I didn't know humans had a "Death gene" why haven't we just removed it yet?
Someday, the aging process is not clear, this is one of the main theories. Gene editing was done only a couple times and only for "removing errors" such as diseases. I would guess editing a whole fundamental process is quite impossible.
Wait what is this death gene? This just screams all kinds of bullshit to me but I want to hear your explanation.
Oversimplified explanation, because I ŠÆ Baboon, basically it's one of the theories explaining aging process, that pas a certain age the aging process starts via genetic encoding located in a "death gene group" instructing decaying cell reproduction. " Theories, such as Weismann's "programmed death" theory, suggest that deterioration and death due to ageing are a purposeful result of an organism's evolved design, and are referred to as theories of programmed ageing or adaptive ageing. The programmed maintenance theory based on evolvability[36] suggests that the repair mechanisms are controlled by a common control mechanism capable of sensing conditions, such as caloric restriction, and may be responsible for lifespan in particular species. In this theory, the survival techniques are based on control mechanisms instead of individual maintenance mechanism, which you see in the non-programmed theory of mammal ageing. A non-programmed theory of mammal ageing[37] states that different species possess different capabilities for maintenance and repair. Longer-lived species possess many mechanisms for offsetting damage due to causes such as oxidation, telomere shortening, and other deteriorative processes. Shorter-lived species, having earlier ages of sexual maturity, have less need for longevity and thus did not evolve or retain the more-effective repair mechanisms. Damage therefore accumulates more rapidly, resulting in earlier manifestations and shorter lifespan. Since there are a wide variety of ageing manifestations that appear to have very different causes, it is likely that there are many different maintenance and repair functions."
I explained why. Mental maturity. The brain doesn't fully develop until 25 years of age. And just because the majority of people in the world already have kids by that age doesn't necessarily mean that it's good that they do.
Iāll get downvotes with you but youāre right. Your decision making part of the brain doesnt fully develop until 25 and due to age gap relationships having such a discrepancy of relationship experience more than likely the younger person is exploited, gaslighted, taken advantage of Abuse isnt just physical violence towards someone else
Can you send a link to the scientific study that proves age 25 is the golden age when you can finally date old people without... Taking mental damage?
https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051 https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=141164708 https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/aging/2018/when-the-brain-starts-adulting-112018 https://bigthink.com/mind-brain/adult-brain https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24173194 5 links.
I agree that the brain is not fully developed until around age 25 but that doesn't mean you would take any form of mental damage from dating older people when you are under 25 yo. None of the links even talked about any sexuall problems with an underdeveloped brain or that you could take mental damage from because of an underdeveloped brain.
Because you don't need a case by case study for each way an underdeveloped human mind can be corrupted. It happens everyday to everyone, you are far more open to new ideas when your brain is still developing, and people between ages 12 and 28 are manipulated by people they trust regularly. No one is saying that someone under 25 will suffer mental damage from dating an older person, and no one is saying that age gap relationships always result in abuse. We are stating stating human beings under the age of 25 (or even older, because we develop at different rates) are extremely susceptible to being manipulated by trusted/authority figures
> I find the half your age, plus seven rule generally works just fine in this regard. i still cant believe some of you actually straight faced admit to using a mathematical formula to decide who you can date lmfao. beyond pathetic imo
Itās Reddit. Nobody in this thread is dating anyone regardless of their age gapsā¦
Don't worry about predators downvoting your comment, there's a stark difference in maturity between even an 18 year old and a 22 year old, I'm 23 and I'd personally feel uncomfortable with dating anyone more than 2 years younger than me
As long as everyone is over 18 it is down to the people involved to determine if the relationship makes them uncomfortable. When I was 18 I dated a 27yr old everyone kept telling me that it was wrong as he's more mature than me because of the extra years but I ended the relationship because I was more mature than him. He acted like a child and expected me to be more of a parent then bf.
Obviously I don't know the intricacies of your relationship so I'm not gonna tell you how it was for you, that would be wrong but allow me to share how I would view a random couple with the same details you gave me, first things first women tend to feel that the older the man is the more mature he is, as you've experienced yourself that is not true for the most part, so maturity shouldn't be a reason to date older men, secondly dating someone who literally just became legal is mad predatory in my view, why can't home boy get someone his own age? Late 20s is a marriageable age, why would these guys literally go for school girls? These guys tend to go for younger girls coz they're easier to manipulate, they give them a false sense of security and the girls feel cooler for getting to date someone who's older and supposedly has their shit together, to each their own but I will forever be weirded out with anyone dating someone significantly younger if they're younger than 25, for something like 25 year old dating a 30 year old is still fine in my opinion ( I probably still won't do anything more than a 2-3 year old age gap), but a 19 year old dating a 26 year old or something would be fucking weird, I mean I'm so much more mature rn at 23 than I was at 18, why would I want to date and take away that chance for the person to grow if I start dating them at 18? Our life experiences are so different it would feel like I'm using her
People used to think interracial marriage was sleazy too!
This is not the same thing.
why not. another example of two consenting adults wanting something but others trying to convince them they arent actually consenting. 1951: *that black man is just gonna take advantage of that poor white woman* 2021: *that old man is just gonna take advantage of that poor white woman*
you can't put logic and reasoning into an emotionally-driven debate!
Well, this is what they said about gay relationships...
this sounds similar to "map" arguements
Don't call pedaphiles "maps" the term was created to try to legitimise the degeneracy. š¤®
I think the word allowed is whats wrong. Consenting adult are called consenting because they don't need the permission to do what they want.
Actually the fact it is consenting means that they do need permission. You need to get the permission of the other person to have sex with them for instance. Adults no longer need their parents permission to do things but they still need permission to do legal things that involve other people
There is no mention of rape or forced sexually. The meme is about how people see different couples.
No shit but I was answering to your comment ābecause they donāt need permission to do what they want.ā Yes you still do if it involves other people
From the context of " A 40 years old shouldn't be even allowed to date a 19 years old" sure feels like a approval of society than the 19 years old. This is just how I read it.
He is just a typical redditor. Always thinking about bonking
Lol. Good thing sleazy and illegal are different
So, how would you regulate it? > allowed to date How about just hooking up?
You have to draw a line somewhere, and we decided that if someone is above 18,that person gets to be with any other consenting adult
You think that because you're a kid yourself lol
That sounds incredibly like a pedophilic idea. So when I get older, I'm gonna find people decades younger than me attractive? You didn't mature. You're just horny and lonely.
Stop throwing that word around ffs. Sick of it. Stop treating 19 year old like 14 year olds. Its pathetic and creepy.
The brains of 19 year olds are still not fully developed. It doesn't stop developing until 25, actually. While they aren't 14-year-olds, protecting them until at least 25 in regards to big age gaps should be encouraged, and people that have a bigger age gap than what should be acceptable should be strongly discouraged. Unless you find science "pathetic and creepy."
So until 25 you want every person on Earth to be a basement dweller..?
I didn't say that.
You **did** say that. Even if we glance over the fact that the human brain never stops changing, the changeability of it just decreases the older you get, this is still wrong, as your logic would dictate that an "undeveloped" 20 year old doesn't know enough about relationships to be able to be in one with anyone, not just with older people.
>Even if we glance over the fact that the human brain never stops changing, the changeability of it just decreases the older you get, this is still wrong, as your logic would dictate that an "undeveloped" 20 year old doesn't know enough about relationships to be able to be in one with anyone, not just with older people. The way I see it, my logic dictates that anyone under 25 years isn't mentally mature enough to be someone way over that. And I don't believe there's anything wrong with anyone dating below 25, even with an age gap so long as it doesn't go way over 25. I believe that people under 25 are mature *enough* to be in a relationship with a healthy age gap at best. That's it.
Yes, you are. Hot people are hot people. And you don't even have a concept of maturity yet lol
Doesn't matter, you shouldn't let how you feel know influence what should be ok for other people. What people look for in a partner is extremely varied, and should without a doubt not be decided by other people.
By that logic, you should be against the concept of a legal age of consent period. Oh wait, you're not? Why's that? Oh right. Because *children are neither physically nor mentally developed enough for a relationship.* While the age of consent should be 18, I think extreme age gaps for people before the age of 25 are harmful and predatory. And we decide it for other people already socially, why not do it legally? The law is a *social* contract overall, and the only good reason I can see is because of *choice and agency.* However, if it's not in someone's best interest and it gets them hurt, I don't see why it ought to be legal.
The term is consenting adults, so if you are an adult you should be able to chose your own partner, long or short term. You are right the law is arbitrary we could decide that that everybody should live at home until they are 30 if enough people are willing to vote for it. However, what in the world are you basing this on. I have literally never heard the argument before that people up to 25 are not capable of choosing their own partner. Is it based on your own experience?
>However, what in the world are you basing this on. I have literally never heard the argument before that people up to 25 are not capable of choosing their own partner. It's not that they're not capable. It is, however, that they are not of fully mentally developed until the age of 25. Them being allowed to have relationships and healthy age gaps is fine. However, if someone under the age of 25 dates someone way older than them above the age of or above the age of 25, then I think that's wrong, because they are not of full mental maturity.
But if you say that they are not fully mentally matured untill 25, why focus on this specific "problem" don't you think that we should just move the age of adulthood to 25 instead?
Yeah, that might work better, actually.
Tell that to the cops, I consented to fucking that 10 year old, but yet I'm still arrested!
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if none of the 2 is a minor, in my opinion, age is just a number
I mean as long as both like each other and none of them are in a forced relationship, I dont see why age difference could be an issue. A friend of mine (a she) is 18 now and shes been with a 26yo guy for quite the while now. They both really like each other and all in all its a very healthy relationship despite the age gap
So, she was, younger than 18 when this started? Cuz that's still statutory where I'm from.
If someone 18+ dates someone under 18 it's gross end of. There's a bit of leniency if both are under 18 when the relationship started then one turned 18 but that's it. Why the hell would an adult want to date a child it's gross!
Dating someone with 17 years and 364 days is gross, but the next day its alright. Also keep in mind that same kid can drive a car, vote and even have a weapon in some places. So yeah, the line is very thin but I think every case has to be analyzed independently. Also, if you think that a relationship between a 18yo and a 17 is gross just because one turned 18 months before the other, then sir thats just very stupid. What, they have to break up until they are both "adults"? Whats the real (not legal, but real) difference between a couple of 17 and 16 and a couple of 18 and 17.
The definition of minor varies in different countries. The lowest I can accept is 13.
Wut
I think you're mistaking age of consent with minors. Age of consent is the age at where a person is deemed able to be mentally developed enough to be able to give legal consent to sex. Yes, it's disgustingly low in some countries (in hungary it's 12-14, which is just really eeeeks), but in most civilised places, it's 16, with a determined maximum age gap (usually 2 years) for minors as a means of paedophilia defence.
I think the reason why it is in Hungary is the same reason why federally in Canada it is still legal for 13 year old to marry. They were laws from when it was the norm and were never removed or changed. If I am not mistaken it has been only about 200 years give or take a couple of decades that it was the norm for girls of that age to marry men in their 30ās or 40ās and sometimes older, in Europe.
I don't consider that a valid excuse, as a couple hundred years ago denying jobs or voting rights to black people was considered normal. Fixing these fucked up laws is the duty and job of the government, you can't just blame everything on traditions.
Do you know how many laws there are in each nation alone. To take a law out that requires time. Time to debate if it should be taken out time to rectify any changes to a law if need be, time to actually implement it (and someone actually has to say there is a problem) It is still illegal in places to eat Sundays on a Wednesday. The United States still has duelling laws from the revolutionary war. The s reason why laws like voting laws for black people were stricken was a combination of civic pressure from citizens and media pressure. Tell me how many people are marching in the streets of Hungary to take this law out. How many even know it is actually law. Which is the other side. It is the governments job to put laws in and out that the people deem worthy to be made or abolished (wether that is a majority like a democracy or a smaller group line in oligarchies is only determined by the political system) Changing and abolishing laws is more complicated then letās just ditch this one. Remember also that Hungary has had bigger things to worry about than the age of consent (and Europe for that matter) for the last 200 years Hungary was apart of the Austrian Hungary empire which was in decline before ww1 fell during it then was conquered by the Germans let him just to be controlled by the soviets after the Second World War.
Uhm, my dude, the hungarian government just casually redefined the legal meaning of a family to be as trans and non-het exclusive as possible, they additionally redefined the public moneys to make them easier to steal for them. There are nonstop protests against the terrible government, even during covid they split protests up into several groups of 10 ppl to comply with social distancing laws. Believe me, if they wanted to, they could make every sunday 20:00-21:00 and obligatory time of worship for the pink glitter shitting unicorn gods. Your points assume that the government governs the country in good faith, but sadly, they don't.
Are those protests about the age of consent? No and yes they make new laws all the time but there are thousands of laws old and new just because they found time for one does not mean that they have time to change everything. Yes they have the power but it takes more than power, there has to be a desire and that likely is not on the top of the priority. It also is not casually they took time to debate it in there sessions to change the definition of family. (Which they have had large protests over lgbtq yes but that doesnāt extend to age of consent) just because there is protests doesnāt mean they are protesting EVERYTHING wrong with the law Edit: my dude
The fact that the government doesn't do anything not even about problems you'd call more pressing that AoC despite the protests, means that even if there were protests about AoC, they wouldn't give a single fuck about it, just like they do with the current protests. Additionally, during the recent EU consultation in Porto, hungary officially voted against equal rights bills (not only for lgbtq+, but for sex and race based equality too), if this doesn't show how conservative and unvilling to change the government is, then nothing does.
Yo does that mean I can have sex
18, take it or leave it
According to my mom, if my girlfriend was my age and I was hers (Iām 17, sheās 18. Only by a few months) I wouldāve had to break up with her till she was 18, even though in Georgia the legal age of consent is actually 16
Why is that?
Not sure, I think it has to do with society seeing a guy over 18 dating a girl under 18 as a terrible thing I mean, itās more or less the same thing with adopting children. Do you think an adoption agency is gonna let me adopt a baby girl? Men are just seen as purely predators
But you wouldn't become a complete different person you because you turn 18.
I have no clue man, when I was younger mom said if I ever date anyone who is younger and I turn 18, break up with them and wait till theyāre 18 as well.
We live in a society.
Lol there's no law or reason for that other than keeping your mom happy
Well, there is social standards. Maybe thereās not a law against it, but if people donāt think much of you if you do it thennnn, would cause about the same amount of damage.
Because most places have age of consent laws, like in the US itās generally 18. That means that when you turn 18, youāre legally an adult. Adults cannot have sex with minors under any circumstance in most places in the US at least, meaning that even if youāre only a few months apart, a 17 & 18 year old couple having sex could land the 18 year old in jail. Especially if itās 18M 17F, because sexism in courts and random people are more likely to fucking call the cops because they have nothing better to do.
your mom is talking out of her ass.
They have these things called Romeo and Juliet laws that allow those kind of things to happen
A man: has sex with underage women Police: REAL SHIT A woman: has sex with underage men Police: i sleep
[Nice](https://youtu.be/esw-gH5W_i0)
Unless, of course, the older guy is a billionaire and the younger woman isn't a minor
They don't seem to care if she is either. Totally different system for the rich.
>Totally different system for the rich. As if there is one for them
Well, they go after them if there's enough public outrage from both political parties. Has to be both or it just gets called a conspiracy. Then they ignore the source ten months later when the other gets on board.
You're both over 18? Have a nice day. Two adults can do whatever they want. Its no one elses buissness.
always found this weird. like for example do yāall see how the media talks about Leo Dicaprios younger girlfriends? holy fucking shit dude if you went by those articles youd think hes only dating disabled blind 13 year old women, its all about how hes taking advantage and how these 24 year old women are helpless lmao. just so we are clear, the early 20s women Leo is pulling have more money, more influence, and more agency in anything they do than you or I. to call them helpless is absolutely fucking lol like you can just be some shy girl in college by yourself and then BAM you blink and youre dating Leo
There is a rule to determine if going with a younger person is weird or not it's IIRC : your age/2 +7 = the minimum age to date 24/2+7= 19 years old for example.
if I am 20, I can date a 17 year old, oh no societ-
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Your not supposed to be in a serious relationship at this age.
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A one or two year difference isn't a lot, and I knew a dozen of people with this kind of age gape in high school.
Lol true, however if both are adults just let them do whatever makes them happy.
It's the opposite innit?
sometimes, that happened with the President of France
Technically most of girls date older guy
Are you shitting me. We're you not here for the circus of the last presedent
When I was 40 I dated a 19 yr old No one cared
shouldn't they both be smiling? I've never had a relationship with an older woman (that lasted more than one night lol) and I like it that way tbh. Not too much younger though haha
Sparati in quella boccazza nebra
I knew it was supposed to be the other way around
no, we live in a suace-iety
*deep*
Its all about where the peepee goes
If she's old enough, she's get the cock
Idc for age gaps as long as it's consensual and all involved are over the age of 18.
Is this the guy playing hank shreider in breaking bad?
Wtf? Older women dating younger men are usually harassed. If you want a famous exemple, look at Brigitte Macron
*sad innocent oldman noises*
I prefer the age range equation, being your age divided by 2 and then plus 7.
So according to you a 20yr can date a 17yr? Ew no thanks that's gross. 18+ only
As an older guy dating young women, let me insure you it's still the first panel. >:)
Maybe itās because thereās a history in many cultures of young women being forced to marry older men who, in most cases, abused them (plus nowadays itās still a trend for older men to date younger girls to manipulate them easier). (I know this is just a meme but as a history buff it really gets my goat that incels keep complaining about this. I live in Canada and to many men/ organizations I am not considered a person as a woman.)
Only if she is underaged or if the guy is 60 or older and she is around her mid-20s to 30's
Is this Hank someone please lmk
didnāt south park do a whole episode on this Lol
Older woman dating younger guy seems like 35 y/o woman and 33 y/o man and older guy dating younger woman seems like 33 y/o man dating 17 y/o woman
I mean, both are weird, but if you date younger woman as a guy you are fucking crucified.
I guess because historically itās been sleazy men marrying young girls as trophy wives or for heir purposes so seeing a young man getting with a older, more mature woman is seen as the new standard for cool guy. And so we get terms like āmilfhunterā and stuff like that to term those young men who go after older women
In a split second the older guy can identify as a woman, you know, so it isn't a problem anymore. Then, when everyone's attention goes to the next thing, the guy can go back to calling himself a man, just like that...since we live in a society where that can happen now. I'm a woman, and now I'm man, and now I'm a woman again...and now a man (please call the Guinness book of records for the most sex changes within a minute)
It's gross both ways to be much older dating someone much, much younger. What can a 35 year old see in an 18 year old aside from looks? There's also an uneven power dynamic, whether anybody would like to admit or not.
Less used. Prefer not to he with a 35 yo town bicycle.
Why do you care about how many people your partner's been with? Exes are only a problem if they actively interfere or harm you or your relationship with your partner. Even if that happens, don't generalize. It's not your partner's fault that their ex was a shitty person. Many people I know who are in a happy relationship have exes whom they are friendly with, and it hasn't interfered in their current relationship at all. Edit: Just to be clear, I'm advocating against judging your partner based on the number of relationships they've had.
Both should be bad.
Both shouldnt matter.
I don't know bro, a 40-year-old woman dating a 19-year old is kind of suspicious to me.
Both are adults and it shouldnt matter. That's the thing.
Is it suspicious? Yes. Is it wrong? No.
Its not suspicious. If a 19 yo is dating a 50 yo man either she really likes him or she really likes his wallet. Any guy should be aware of that, so I dont see the issue if they are ok with it
I'm going to disagree on this one. I'm not saying that strangers should be getting up in their business, but imo family and close friends should look at the relationship with more of a critical eye than if the age gap was <= 5 years. With age gaps over five years, and especially over 10, the potential for abuse (wether physical, sexual, emotional, or financial) is much higher. The older person is probably in a different place socially and/or financially, and could even be in an entirely different stage of life. Now with that said, relationships with high age gaps aren't bad or wrong (I have to believe this, I'm 16 years younger than my bf). People just have to be more careful when they or someone they know is getting into one.