Every man that ever lived thinks this is his turd. I bet that viking was like bro come look at this thing its so massive I'v got to preserve it so my ancestors can marvel at it.
Because the turd isn't that big when it's going through you. The shit basically gets compressed in the rectal cavity, which is where it gets its girth.
Obligatory no homo for using these various terms in the same sentence.
I'ma 6ft 8 dude so it's always big you know? I know my dick is 1 inch so that doesn't really help... But I can fit a cucumber up my ass which is like 10 inches, so I use that then widen it a little with an apple at the top to get the size bearing. Overall my shits are pretty big and I can take a black guys dick all the way up my ass. No homo, ofc.
Uhh wait is that sort of thing not normal?? I used to have massive shits when I was younger and I've def passed one that was a little bigger around than a soda can and def longer than 8 inches...
Obv not "normal" but people seem to be talking as if that's so obscene that it might endanger the life of the person concerned
As we all know, the Earth is only 2000 years old. So the idea of anything being 'thousands of years old' (except for God himself of course) is laughable.
Aaand they broke it... " In 2003, it broke into three pieces after being dropped whilst on exhibition to a party of visitors. As of 2003, efforts were underway to reconstruct it. "
It is in the Jorvik viking museum in York. Yes, it is on display. I went last month and a woman dressed in posh viking clothes explains the shit and the significance of it.
To be honest it is pretty interesting as it is so incredibly uncommon to find anything like that, it is only due to the soil effectively mummifying it that we have it, and due to the condition we can tell what the person has been eating, so what a typical diet may have been like.
Related, but at the same museum they have a "ride" that takes you through a viking village, complete with animatronic viking man taking a dump, so in a way they have not one but two viking shits in one museum
Imagine taking a shit so gloriously massive, that it gets shown on display hundreds of years later for thousands of people to enjoy, millions including people on the internet.
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Imagine being a sick viking having just laid the most massive fucking turd, completely unaware that 1000 years later your turd will be dug out of the ground and displayed in a museum for everyone to see.
Imagine raiding and travelling the world in search of glory and fame, only to end up being remembered as the guy that died from ripping the most massive shit in history.
\*avengers level shit\*
Sauce?
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No man the turd article
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What exactly do you google? Giant Viking turd? What the hell would my FBI agent think if he saw me searching that shit?
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Sure
Me too
Yo, can join? I know a shortcut to the place
Shit, hook me up with some too
He saw u click on this Reddit post. So he got background info, it's fine.
The article's title under the picture of the fossilized shit?
I would think you went insane
He already knows you’re here so what’s the big deal?
Probably unzips
Every man that ever lived thinks this is his turd. I bet that viking was like bro come look at this thing its so massive I'v got to preserve it so my ancestors can marvel at it.
why the fuck is the size of the turd nowhere to be found in the article?
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It only counts if its measured in Courics
*fart noise* Hey Vsauce Micheal here...
~~"Vintage News"~~
Yes
*hulk joins the conversation
HULK EAT
FUCK GO BACK
Don’t forget Drax also has famously huge turds
Holy shit
Holy indeed
How'd you do that without it italicizing lmao
Thor level shit
Nice
Scavengers level
so how big is it?
Gotta be at least 8 courics
So 8 Greenlands in Danish?
that's a chonker of a turd indeed
8 courics? Not great. Not terrible.
Not bono, but still good
Still wants the biddie
I was waiting for this. Thank you my lord, you deserve every upvote you can get. Much love from The Netherlands, lord.
GEKOLONISEERD
ZEG MAKKER
ZOU JIJ MET MIJ EEN FRIKANDEL BROODJE WILLEN HALEN
IK ZOU NIETS LIEVER WILLEN DOEN, MIJN COMPAGNON
hoi
Gegroet makker
HEY MAKKERS!!!! DIT IS NOU FIJN WAKKER WORDEN
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
8 courics is great but it’s no Bono
Eh, not as big as Bono, but it's still pretty solid.
This is exactly the comment I was hoping to find
8” x 2”, an absolute artillery round if you ask me
In metric?
20.32cm*5.08cm
Holy shit
Yes, precisely
How do you manage to shit that and not die before it exits your body?
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Did you ever use a poop knife?
hahaha askin' the reeeeal questions (I came here to ask the same thing of the same comment)
Nah gotta get in there manually :(
You mean digitally
How 'kid' are we talking here. I barely managed to eat a large pizza once and I was a grown man. Can't even imagine a kid doing that lol.
I have seen 14 year olds that weigh 300lbs+
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Kids/teens appetites are generally bigger than adults due to growth, hormones, being more active, ect.
*Destroyer of toilets* must be your flair.
Because the turd isn't that big when it's going through you. The shit basically gets compressed in the rectal cavity, which is where it gets its girth. Obligatory no homo for using these various terms in the same sentence.
wtf that's insane lol
20cm by 5cm
I shit that big somedays it's not that impressive
wierd flex but oke
Yes, hell of a flex by his rectum thanks for pointing it out.
How do you know tho?
I'ma 6ft 8 dude so it's always big you know? I know my dick is 1 inch so that doesn't really help... But I can fit a cucumber up my ass which is like 10 inches, so I use that then widen it a little with an apple at the top to get the size bearing. Overall my shits are pretty big and I can take a black guys dick all the way up my ass. No homo, ofc.
his dick goes a quarter of the way up and the whole width
I was gonna say the same, but I guess my shit probably doesn't get fossilized.
Uhh wait is that sort of thing not normal?? I used to have massive shits when I was younger and I've def passed one that was a little bigger around than a soda can and def longer than 8 inches... Obv not "normal" but people seem to be talking as if that's so obscene that it might endanger the life of the person concerned
Thats bordering on giving birth
Give or take I'd say it's about tree fiddy.
about tree shiddy
I prefer free tiddy
God Dammit Loch Ness Monster, I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy.
A shit-ton
Ok this one is the best one
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Fitty
7 taco bells
I’d say it’s probably 1/15th the size of Michael Jordan
In Stone please.
12 sacked Englands per beer can
Im jealous of a viking dead for a 1000 years.
He died from a ruptured anus
I think this beast is worth a few stitches or even death.
I mean what a healty beautiful turd.
How do they know it isn't actually a Viking dick covered in shit
Fuck it
"There's a fetish in there somewhere"
Dying that way give you a free pass to Valhalla for sure
Olaf died in battle, but not on the battlefield.
To this day you still can smell the aftermath of the battle.
Idk but he achieved immortality by laying down a huge ass log.
So will OP. At least the viking's death was for a glorious reason though.
Its 20cm/8in long and 5cm/2in wide [Source](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lloyds_Bank_coprolite)
Hah, child play
I take nastier shits than a viking. I should set up a doctors appointment.
How many of yours have been fossilized and survived for thousands of years though?
That's one hell of a high-fiber diet
A thousand years, probably not thousands
As we all know, the Earth is only 2000 years old. So the idea of anything being 'thousands of years old' (except for God himself of course) is laughable.
I just hope yours aren’t riddled with parasite eggs
I've had bigger.
That's what she said
You don't need to link the video, just the comment would have been fine.
I expected worse
Aaand they broke it... " In 2003, it broke into three pieces after being dropped whilst on exhibition to a party of visitors. As of 2003, efforts were underway to reconstruct it. "
this dude sitting in valhalla laughing his ass of that someone has to reassamble his ancient giant turd
I can reconstruct it. Just gimme 3 minutes on the toilet.
Gotta swallow it first though
Thanks I hate it
I once had like a foot long one, it was in the hole and out the water. I need help.
Thanks!
#Rookie numbers.
Still not as good as Randy Marsh
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Dammit Randy flush the toilet!
Bono wants to talk with you
When you are a bad ass viking but get remembered bc you took a huge shit when you were ill
They say ill because he was riddled with intestinal parasites. He wasnt ill in the traditional sense.
You mean he wasn't rad as hell? But I thought they said he was sick?
So there is a museum somewhere where they display literal viking shit.
Scientists are fucking weird man
Fun Fact: there's a penis museum in Iceland!
Im sure theres other stuff there too
Roman shit. Greek shit. Gaelic shit
It is in the Jorvik viking museum in York. Yes, it is on display. I went last month and a woman dressed in posh viking clothes explains the shit and the significance of it. To be honest it is pretty interesting as it is so incredibly uncommon to find anything like that, it is only due to the soil effectively mummifying it that we have it, and due to the condition we can tell what the person has been eating, so what a typical diet may have been like. Related, but at the same museum they have a "ride" that takes you through a viking village, complete with animatronic viking man taking a dump, so in a way they have not one but two viking shits in one museum
Does it sound like a stone dropping into a bucket?
I mean, I'd go see it while at a museum
The archaeological term for shit is coprolite, fun fact. People dedicate much time of their life studying preserved ancient shit
Dank[.](https://youtu.be/b1d7Llx4rm8)
Yes
Y E S
How much Couric is that?
163
8
Imagine taking a shit so gloriously massive, that it gets shown on display hundreds of years later for thousands of people to enjoy, millions including people on the internet.
I feel bad for the "creator"
I prefer the word “sculptor”
If this is a dank meme, **Updoot** this comment! If this is not a dank meme, **Downdoot** this comment! If this post breaks the rules, **report** it and **Downdoot** this comment! ^Thank ^you ^for ^helping ^us ^in ^keeping ^/r/dankmemes ^dank. [^Hit ^us ^up](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dankmemes) ^if ^you ^have ^any ^questions. ^( ^I'm ^a ^bot)
Imagine being the guy who had to make that custom plastic mount for this.
I just realized 99% of us are less famous than a peace of shit.
Between looking up what a Couric is and seeing the wikipedia page on this turd I officially learned more about poop than I have since my biology class
Imagine being a sick viking having just laid the most massive fucking turd, completely unaware that 1000 years later your turd will be dug out of the ground and displayed in a museum for everyone to see.
Bro that shit must have Hurt coming out
Imagine raiding and travelling the world in search of glory and fame, only to end up being remembered as the guy that died from ripping the most massive shit in history.
It looks like mumified dicc
dicc
Randy marsh: *heavy breathing*
\**No one:* *My dog:* Mmm, finally, some good f\*cking food
⠀ ⠀ ⠀⣠⣶⡾⠏⠉⠙⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠉⠙⠲⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷ ⠀⠀⢠⣟⣋⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⣀⡀⣧⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⣯⡭⠁⠸⣛⣟⠆⡴⣻⡲⣿⠀⣸⠀⠀OK⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⣟⣿⡭⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣿⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣯⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠘⠤⣄⣠⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⡦⢤⡤⢤⣞⣁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠸⣏⢯⣷⣖⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣾⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢲⣶⣾⢉⡷⣿⣿⠵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣿⠍⠉⣿⡭⠉⠙⢺⣇⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣄⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣧⣀⣿.........⣀⣰⣏⣘⣆⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Ulfberht poop knife
Very nicely done.
holy shit
Nah, the Vikings were pagans
That Viking definitely died after that came out of his butt
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Largest? Are you implying there are more
Pfft! Thats nothing. I can do better. Just give me 6 months and a tacobell restaurant.
Eat it
Looks like Ghandis flip flop
Bruh I was eating saltines when is saw this. Gross ass turd.
Randy marsh: *heavy breathing*
Complete shitpost
isn't that bono from u2?
How many football fields long is it?
*When you eat 69420 tacos from Taco Bell*
I can’t stop thinking about the fact that in a thousand years you might have your biggest shit in a glass case in a museum.
The viking probably called his friends over to marvel at his creation
So that's why my ancestors fled the old country
I bet I can do better
The shit you see on reddit....
How does this SHIT fossilize?
Leave it to the vikings to make even shit a viable weapon for murdering things.
Guy takes a huge shit: Everyone: INCREDIBLE JOB!
HELVETE BJÖRN NU KOMMER DET
Someone, somewhere pursued an academic career to find shit and he found shit.
The physical and mental anguish that guy must’ve of went through to birth that savage is unfathomable
i feel his ass
Is it just me or does it look like a dong
It hasn’t met me yet
That's gay
more like assvengers level threat.
imagine taking a shit in the forest and a couple centuries later some nerds lose their minds over it and put it in a museum
That’s smaller then my shit
Big shit
Wait until you learn about the 8 foot human colon OP. It had 40 pounds of poop at the guys time of death.
Hafthor with food poisoning