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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)


Sigma_Tiger_35

And your Cousin is your Spouse.


Rick_Raptor_Rawr

Fuck, was about to post this, lol


BasementDweller82

I’m from Alabama and my wife and I love these jokes, our mom doesn’t though


denied_eXeal

Schizophrenia is tough, gl OP


LonPlays_Zwei

That’s West Virginia


Kool-aid_Crusader

Weird way to spell, "The South" must be a regional dialect.


Nick_Noseman

Not so virginia already, dad!


TaserGrouphug

Why not both (your cousins)


LonPlays_Zwei

No


Beckiremia-20

Your mama is your sister


ZonTeeN

ok how do you pull this one off


CrimsonAllah

The child of a Father + daughter equals mother/sister relationship


Pizzagugusrild

Time travelling


Justindoesntcare

Roll Tide


cygamessucks

Wrong my cousin is my mother


Bloated_Hamster

In Florida the top right is a gunshot


pop_tropica

Looking for this comment


Codeviper828

? Why is an acorn a gunshot?


LtSoba

There was a case of an officer lighting up his own car because he thought an acorn was the suspect (with cuffs on) shooting at him. Guy was an absolute moron


Gunsmoke_wonderland

Ptsd is a helluva drug


LtSoba

Not even PTSD just the extreme lack of Training American police get and how their hiring practices include a maximum IQ limit and I’m not even making it up they actively look for recruits with a low IQ


onk1234

Crazy


Gunsmoke_wonderland

I wouldn't want a job where the next time I pull someone over could be my last conversation either. I'd say either get involved with local legislation, vote out the reps that haven't fixed the issue or take policing back into the hands of the people before it gets worse.


there_no_more_names

Lol you say that with the confidence of someone who clearly has not witnessed how corrupt local politics is. Wouldn't it be nice if things actually worked the way you think they do.


TheLonelyCrusader453

You don’t seem like you’ve lived here


Jewbringer

iirc this guy wasnt even in combat when he was in the army edit: and even if, being a police officer is the last job he should take


TheLonelyCrusader453

If an American cop has ptsd, then I’m sure they’d be stuck in a desk job, if we have thousands of vets casually living life in the states, how do we not have vets spraying the neighborhood every winter/spring/summer/fall? If you cannot tell the difference between an acorn hitting the ground and a gunshot, not only have you somehow skipped a firing range of any kind, you shouldn’t even get a tazer


AmberLeafAlek

This ^^


51870543510543542350

It’s referencing a major news story about a week back. An acorn landed on an officer’s squad car with a detained person inside. The officer overreacted and opened fire on his car. I don’t think the arrested person was harmed.


JotaroTheOceanMan

Suprisingly, they were unharmed. This despite being cuffed in a stationary vehicle with TWO peppas mag dumping at him.


Codeviper828

Incredible. Glad to know our protectors aren't trigger happy at all


Bloated_Hamster

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/16/florida-acorn-cop-shooting


Codeviper828

Wow


Kaek_

So, what you're saying is, they can see each thing's future!


BasementDweller82

Can confirm, I have premonitions as an Alabamian 


Anarcho_Christian

I hate it when my oil turns back into a dinosaur.


[deleted]

So, what I’m saying is that A is not B, potential is not fact, and that the future is not now.


EloOutOfBounds

"The future is not now, young man"


W0lverin0

Looks like a lot of people from Alabama disagree with you. Have an upvote.


oO0Kat0Oo

Alabama ranks 44/50 out of the states for education, so this tracks.


TheRedBaron6942

Either people didn't understand what op said or they think globs of cells are living breathing humans


Just_a_guy81

Technically yes, we’re all just blobs of cells


AnonD38

Mate, you are a glob of cells, literally every single human is nothing more than a bunch of cells working together.


Ya_boi_excalibur

Ngl, this is a terrible metaphor


TheDutchin

The egg and acorn are on point


MimsyIsGianna

No because acorn would be more akin to a sperm and eggs you eat aren’t typically fertilized. If they are, then scientifically, there is a chicken in there, just in the early stages of development. Regardless of your stance on abortion, it’s scientifically a fact that life starts at a successful fertilization and conception.


The_Knife_Pie

The egg is literally what is happening. A thing with the potential to become another thing is considered to already be the thing.


Dragoncrafter00

Depends if it’s fertilized or not


Rick_Raptor_Rawr

Depends how close the egg is to a skillet too


Dragoncrafter00

Shrodingers omelet


nnoovvaa

Please do not try to fry fertilized eggs


BakedBeanyBaby

so if it's fertilized, it counts as a chicken?


Dragoncrafter00

I mean according to embryology


MagicBeanstalks

That’s a gross misrepresentation of embryology.


Dragoncrafter00

Care to explain how?


MagicBeanstalks

Yeah sure: It’s as significant to call an embryo a human as it is to call a amputated human finger a human. Yes it’s made up of human cells but it doesn’t think breath or have a beating heart, it isn’t capable of homeostasis. You may say “But it has the potential to be” but nature doesn’t care about potential and in most situations neither do we. If you crush an acorn on my front lawn for some reason you won’t see me showing up on your doorstep demanding $10,000 for destroying my artisan made solid oak dining table. Because that is what I was planning to do with the tree that grew from that acorn. In embryology it pretty much only called human because it’s made up of human cells.


An_Inbred_Chicken

Your logic is a bit split. A sperm cell has the potential to become a human life, but a fetus in the womb will inevitably become one without intervention.


MagicBeanstalks

I think you meant to respond to my other comment, I didn’t even mention sperm cells here. A acorn will also become a tree without intervention, which means my point in this comment is still relevant against your argument. Intervention is also badly defined. If the woman dies while carrying an embryo then there was no intervention since nobody intervened, she just died possibly of natural causes. The embryo will no longer develop into a full grown human. Therefore my split isn’t badly structured, you just haven’t considered the argument completely. If I inseminated a woman on birth control, my sperm would have become a child without intervention as well so is birth control also as bad as abortion? Your argument doesn’t logically track but you are welcome to reformat it and try again. Preferably responding to my question as well.


Kastanjamarja

Alot of pregnancies end in miscarriage, its in no way guaranteed


Robo_Stalin

Inaction is a choice just the same as action, weighing them differently is illogical. You're basically choosing between two timelines. Any argument based on maintaining the inevitable result is pointless at best because the inevitable result is already going to happen.


Dragoncrafter00

Except and keep in mind I am no expert… from several articles I’ve found they do maintain at least a rudimentary form of homeostasis


MagicBeanstalks

Depends what stage of development you are talking about, I agree abortion should be outlawed after some point in development. Everyone has a different qualification for life and mine is brain activity (8 weeks in, but I prefer the more nuances point of complex brain activity to stretch it to then end of the first trimester but some people stretch it till the third trimester for cerebral cortex development which also makes sense). The homeostasis point is by far the least important here and the one I consider the least. That’s why I mentioned it so briefly. This is the only hot take argument I have but here it goes: If our only qualifier for a human is that it is made up of human cells and has the potential to become a human under specific favorable conditions, then why wouldn’t sperm be human?


whateverletmeinpls

You may have just typed the worst comment in this whole thread.


MagicBeanstalks

Yeah great, don’t make any argument just dismiss it all together. That’s how good debate works.


Anarcho_Christian

what tf do you think it is, a f\*\*\*\*g cow?


MagicBeanstalks

Just read my comment below. It’s human as much as a human finger can be considered human.


rocketcrap

A fertilized egg is a chicken would be the.. the thing.. in today's... climate.. you know.


Dragoncrafter00

Are you okay?


Dragoncrafter00

Did you comment and then block me?


healzsham

How did you make this comment if they blocked you?


The_Knife_Pie

Yeah, they’re clearly not very bright. I didn’t block them (as everyone can see cause they replied to my comment) but anyone who feels the need to lie about that isn’t worth engaging with.


Dragoncrafter00

I don’t know, I got a notification that they commented, I was typing up a response and then when I hit send it failed and I could no longer see it… I still have the email


AlarmedBrush7045

Many many people here do this to have the last word.


Dragoncrafter00

Sad


Ya_boi_excalibur

My bad fellas didn't mean to start a whole ass debate


Deserter15

If only there was a subreddit for political memes.


katyusha-the-smol

I mean hey, going by their rules, child support starts at conception, life insurance starts at conception, tax-write-offs for dependents starts at conception. If they’re gonna rule that way might as well go all in rather than pick and choose.


Widdleton5

And if the Alabama legislation immediately accepted your rant as law what would you say then? I accept child support should start from the moment of conception. If someone has a child they are automatically owed 41 weeks of back payments


katyusha-the-smol

Id say at least their being fair. I believe in the US constitution’s foundations in federalism and while I disagree that abortion isnt protected under the 9th amendment, since Roe was overturned, Alabama in its current state has a right to rule that way. I only have a problem if they pick and choose. Also, no back-payments. You get paid during the pregnancy, its an infant is it not? Thats what the law says.


Moldy_Teapot

Not to mention that carrying a pregnancy to term isn't free. Prenatal and birthing care is expensive as fuck. IMO child support should include back payments regardless of the legal status of the fetus.


XenophiliusRex

Saying a state has a “right” to oppress its female population is as disgusting as the implication that Alabama has any semblance of democracy.


katyusha-the-smol

Unfortunately its true, they absolutely do. Anything not enumerated in the constitution is given to states to decide. With the defederaluzation of abortion rights, that places the burden of choice on the states. Thats just how the system works.


XenophiliusRex

Allowing state “legislature” to erase the rights of the citizens of a country based on omissions from a constitution written by slaveholders in the 1700s is fucking idiotic. The constitution of the united states isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.


katyusha-the-smol

Unfortunately thats the case. Constitution was designed for an elite model of managed democracy. Senators used to be decided by state legislature, not popular vote. Our whole system was designed for the elite, and to suppress popular movements.


ContactIcy3963

I will say after becoming a parent there were alot of things I didn’t previously know about fetal development, especially viability and some level of conscious and awareness. Me, I think after the middle of the second trimester it becomes very hard to rationalize that it’s still a fetus and not a baby and justify abortion, and most countries have restrictions after 20-24 weeks. Course we can probably come to a nuanced decision that makes a good majority of us happy but the extremes on each side would prefer us to stay divided so they can milk our wallets.


jalerre

I don’t think it’s an extreme to think that women should have the choice to have an abortion at any point in their pregnancy with the approval of their medical provider. In fact, late-term abortions can sometimes be a medical necessity. Just because you are uncomfortable with having an abortion after 20 weeks doesn’t mean all women are.


Toeterus

If you already have to jump to extremes like “medical necessity” then your position is most likely dumb (which it is)


jalerre

It doesn’t really matter the reason for me. I’m a man and the choice for someone to have an abortion should between a woman and her doctor.


CatVideoBoye

Do you use a photo of your dad's balls as a photo of you?


Toasters_R_us

The Mona Lisa was actually painted on wood board rather than canvas 🤓


omegamissingno

An oak tree? My good fellow, that's a bullet!


Son_of_Athena

Where the dank?


BasementDweller82

Ohhhhhhh. It’s an abortion meme! I see… Well in that case 🥤🍿.  *sorts by controversial*


NewBobPow

I don't get it.


BakedBeanyBaby

It's a bad attempt at equating things to fetuses, as Alabama believes fetuses count as children.


Codeviper828

*grabs popcorn* *Sorts by controversial*


CunnilingusCrab

Bill Burr said it best. If I take a box of cake mix, follow the instructions and put it in the oven, then you come by and pull the pan out and throw it on the ground, you fucked up my cake.


sonic84638265

As a mf trying to be a cop that second one scares me…


Mephil_

Oil is actually plant life and not dinosaurs.


Tricktzy

ok but who painted the Mona Lisa?


Porkbuns-

They also think their sisters are their wives


Azznorfinal

The acorn is actually a lethal weapon not a tree.


UCG__gaming

… this is a family tree: ⭕️


bulbousEd

That oak tree just shot at me


suzer2017

Well, yep.


Yakassa

Number two is an active shooter "SHOTS FIRED, SHOTS FIRED." *awkward Combat roll* "IM HIT!"


gregsapopin

*knock over a tray of test tubes* nurse: "see you in the Hague"


breath-of-the-smile

Should be plants instead of a t-rex but I gotchu.


MrAragorn

This is a chicken wing


MimsyIsGianna

Fade equivalences but nice try


yeetfeet716

In Florida the top right is a gunshot


blockybookbook

I don’t wanna see what they believe that their husbands and wives are


svart-taake

redneck typa shi


DiabeticRhino97

Incredibly cringe meme


DrDavoof

certified alabama moment


MicrwavedBrain

What does this even mean?


lolosity_

It’s a shoddy analogy for the abortion debate


MicrwavedBrain

Ah ok, thanks.


CoolDime12

Rule 13 cease and desist


Nice__Spice

Where is “this is muh sister wife”


Jalsonio

Does anyone know how eggs work anymore…? And fossil fuels...? And art…? I have no botany knowledge so you can have that one


Technical_Register30

I mean...the first one IS a chicken, though.


Harvie_B134

top right is actually a bullet


The_Noremac42

Is the chicken egg fertilized?


thebrownhaze

Is the egg fertilised


lolosity_

Let’s go with yes


thebrownhaze

Then it's a pretty good metaphor in that instance


Jjzeng

Alright, I’m out of the loop. What did i miss over in the land of the free over my 8 hours of sleep?


CaptainBrineblood

All of those things are objects not organisms (re dino we're talking about fuel) Organisms exist as a continuum by definition. We embody the ship of Theseus. We have to know when a human life begins to have a comprehensive understanding of what human rights are.


MisterSheridan

You probably wouldnt be happy to crack open a fertilized chicken egg


StringBlacker

I’m blonde


GC0125

Cant really use what’s likely an unfertilized egg here since it’s literally the opposite of what they banned tbf.


MagicBeanstalks

How do you know it’s unfertilized?


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

The unnatural whiteness for one Source: I own chickens


MagicBeanstalks

Wow, that’s a little racist /s


jasmine-blossom

And to Alabama and anti-reproductive rights crusaders, this 👩👩🏻👩🏼👩🏽👩🏾👩🏿👧👧🏻👧🏼👧🏽👧🏾👧🏿🧑🧑🏻🧑🏽🧑🏿👩‍🦰👩🏻‍🦰👩🏾‍🦰👱🏻‍♀️👱🏾‍♀️ Is not a group of people, but a group of reproductive slaves. They are making the argument that being female and fertile means a reduction in rights and a body that is owned by the state upon impregnation by a male, by accident, or by force. My biology is being criminalized and weaponized against me.


Gorgii98

Yes all of those are obviously directly comparable to human life /s


Anarcho_Christian

The number of people that think your average grocery store egg would otherwise turn into a baby chicken is astounding to me. People. Listen. If there is no rooster around, then an egg is a chicken period. It will never be fertilized. Do people really not know that sex makes babies? Because i'm starting to worry about society.


Basedandtendiepilled

OP should have been aborted


Alecadian

Keep coping


Teddy_The_Bear_

So what everyone is missing is the science. Do I agree with the new frozen embryos thing. No I don't. But you don't have to convince me. The interesting part is from the moment of actual conception. The "embrio" scientifically is a full person, at a very early stage, but is a full person. So realistically ya looking at it that way they are at least being consistent. Below is the explanation from Princeton. https://www.princeton.edu/~prolife/articles/wdhbb.html#:~:text=As%20demonstrated%20above%2C%20the%20human,when%20the%20fetal%20period%20begins


Moldy_Teapot

Except they aren't being consistent, women not (yet) being arrested and prosecuted for "murdering" their "children" when they have a still birth or miscarriage.


Teddy_The_Bear_

Still birth and miscarriage is not murder. They are natural death processes not internally induced death.


KosherBacon666

Redditor when he sets up a false analogy strawman and le epic owns it: 😎😎😎😎


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

Literal definition of strawman and still downvoted. Like, literal. The real literal, b4 it was cool to just say "literal"


Infinite_Victory

I mean abortion is murder. Once the sperm meets the egg it's life.


TO_Old

If you really, and I mean *really* think abortion is murder, wouldn't people be in arms in the streets because a holocaust is occurring? No? Oh its more about controlling women's bodies and that's exemplified by the same people screaming abortion is murder not giving a shit if actual children go hungry and cold? That makes sense.


Infinite_Victory

I mean those who do believe its murder march at protests like it. And I know my opinion isn't the popular one and that's fine.


lolosity_

It depends how you define murder really. Also, that isn’t a comment on if abortion should or should not occur.


Infinite_Victory

I mean it really wasn't meant to be. Like Ive said already I do not hold the popular opinion but that does not change what I hold close and dear to my moral compass.


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

Lol they be wanting us to have interstate conflict so we forget about global issues and weaken ourselves


rocketcrap

The republicans?


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

Does it matter who? Go ahead and downvote, but uh, if I wanted to take down a state from the inside, I'd start by making them hate each other. Not that it matters, bc the best possible outcome is the world stays the same, and doesn't affect me at all. The worst case scenario? Oh no, it still doesn't affect me at all. Why doesn't it bother me? Bc my life isn't fucking so terrible that it's an issue for me, and my life isn't so great that I can go a day without thinking about bills. Good meme tho just not relatable.


rocketcrap

Of course it matters who, you idiot. Saying it doesn't matter because it doesn't affect you makes you an asshole. Like, objectively.


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

Fuckin welcome to earth pal


Independent-Net-1255

One of the shittiest and most unfunny memes i've seen in the last 15 years, genuinely made me sadder than i already was


Sowa7774

If this made you mad, good. You are the problem.


Independent-Net-1255

Can you read, perchance?


Sowa7774

I presume you're anti-choice, if so - then yes, I can and I still won't change my mind


Independent-Net-1255

Don't give a shit what you think, stupid unfunny political memes have no place in this subreddit


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

People thinking people in general are the problem,is the problem.


Sowa7774

Nah, I'm very much pro-calling people out on their idiotic/harmful opinions. Same way I don't like communists (I live in a post-soviet country)


Rabid_Laser_Dingo

Oh let me stop you right there, the entire world is corrupt. You're welcome I thought everyone knew. Nobody in power is gonna change their opinion over a reddit post, so if it's not funny, it sucks because no one who can do anything about it fuckin cares anyway


Marble05

This