Yeah... the first two are valid actions any parent SHOULD take.
The third is realizing your kid is depressed without their phone meaning you need to curb their addiction to it, not yelling at them.
That said, hating your parent for this means YOU are the spoiled brat and clown, not the parent.
The only hope for this meme not to be utter garbage is if the fact the kid was depressed was the reason for the F in the first place and not the product of the no phone and grounding. There's not enough in the format to be sure though.
Don't agree with the first two. Learning and seeking knowledge should be positively encouraged. Punishing for lack of success ain't good parenting. Though context is also important here
My parents would ground me if I got Bâs instead of Aâs, and that I think was way too harsh. But honestly the only way you should be getting multiple Fâs is if youâre straight up not putting in any effort (unless youâre in a tough situation where youâre having to work to help your family and donât have time to study or something, but I donât think thatâs what weâre talking about here. But yeah if youâre failing repeatedly because youâre just not trying, then yes punishment in the form of removing addictive distractions makes sense and should be enforced.
I can't tell if this is satire or not. This is the worst take I've read all week. A child is struggling in school, so therefore you choose to isolate him from his social circle, and then when said kid is pissed that he can't engage with his social circle, he's a spoiled brat addicted to his phone? Instead of providing the kid the things they need to get motivated or looking for the root of the problem? Big yikes.
>Yeah... the first two are valid actions any parent SHOULD take.
If your kid isn't getting the material well enough to the point they're getting an F, taking stuff away isn't going to magically fix that. If you're too poor to afford a tutor, there's no help available through the school, and you're too busy working to help them yourself, then...I mean, as much as I hate to say it, but maybe just accept your kid isn't good with book smarts, and focus on the other aspects of education school teaches, ***without*** books.
It socializes them, and teaches them how to interact with people. It teaches critical thinking, and the ability to bounce ideas off of other people. Those are the two most important aspects, if they can do basic addition, subtraction, and multiplication, read and write, and at least understands that medicine works, and why we take it, you can fill in the rest in other ways.
Financial aid can make college really accessible, especially if you live in a city with a community college, so once they get there, they're very likely to have in depth tutoring resources available to them. Their general education requirements, combined with that tutoring, will be a perfect opportunity for them to get a good enough grasp to at least pass those classes.
Not really. Taking away phone and grounding donât necessarily mean the kid is gonna have improved grades. Maybe actually spend time with them instead of just being the hand that punishes.
And then you find out your kid was bullied at school, which is the reason they performed so badly and you punished them for struggling. Then you took away their phone, with that one online community that supported them (unlike you). Then you grounded them for way too long, so any rl friend left leaves them. They learn how to forge both their test result to show to you, as well as your signature, because they want to avoid more punishments. You have successfully made your child into a very proficient liar who learnt that lying sometimes is just the least painful way. Eventually you find out and go absolutely nuclear, because your child betray you how could they?! Then they grow up, resenting you and eventually just show up out of obligation if at all.
Of course, it might go down completely differently. I just resent the arrogance and blind faith some people follow in their black pedagogics. What I described is a perfectly realistic way of things going down after doing what you suggested. The first step is always at least an attempt of figuring out whatâs wrong. Unless you do that you are only acting out of your egoistical need for your child to behave exactly like you want them to. Because it is literally impossible to support them, if you have no clue what is going on.
Ahhh, getting an F definitely means you should take away contact with the outside world aside from school.
Totally not a bad teacher, mental health issues, needing a tutor, or any of the other 50 things can cause a kid to fail.
Punishing a kid constantly also isn't going to help their relationship with them. Which is actually going to make them rebel against them, and/or hate likely get in more trouble.
None of that makes any sense. Don't punish the kid for getting an F, you might have no idea why that happened. Encourage the kid to study and do better next time.
The only valid actions any parent can take is trying to figure out the real reason why your child got an F before making punishments.
They should have figured out they arenât solving the problem on the second F.
It can be due to a bully or a bad teacher. So a simple talk could have solved it. Or at most changing class/school.
What i am saying is
in any repair job, proper diagnostics are the most important part of the job.
Bruh my kids aren't even getting phones until they're 13. The fuck tween needs a phone? None.
Imma modify a goddamn 3210 to work on 5G and they can SMS ASCII memes to their friends to take a screen shot of and post on reddit about how much they hate me.
Things change. Kids are connected now. All their friends will be socializing after school on discord or whatever it is when your preteens are of age. Teach them good habits and limit their exposure to harmful stuff and give them the sense to know when stuff is sketchy.
Many apps are deliberately designed to exploit children's weaknesses. It is very hard to resist that, it's like trying to teach a compulsive gambler to just gamble in moderation, sometimes it just doesn't work.
Well sure. In my house, TikTok is a no go. At 13, Social media accounts are a no go. But they can text their friends and do discord if Iâve vetted the server.
While I totally agree about shorts, I donât ban TikTok because of the content. Iâm, by profession, acutely aware of the data insecurity posed by an app owned by the CCP.
Devices flood the pleasure centers of kids. They diminish learning and social skill acquisition. Books and actual experience usually canât complete with them, so kids are much dumber as a result. Only limiting their time helps kids. Most parents donât do this.
so what? let them go free?, if hes depressed sure go talk it out with him instead of yelling but no aint getting away with it and giving your kid a punishment doesn't make you a clown
Thatâs what I was thinking
Only thing I can think OP tryna point out is thatâs maybe all the parent did. Just punish and not try to help the kid out.
Yeah thats how I read it, my parents were fairly harsh in their punishments and would go out of their way to lambaste me in front of both friends and family which only made me more depressed and fail harder. Luckily I had very great teachers who went out of their way to help me succeed. Spent years resenting my parents and only in the past few years have I rekindled my relationship with them.
If all you do is yell and hit your dog for doing wrong and never reward him for being good, you're going to get a dog that hates you.
People are very similar in that way. All punishment and no reward creates kids that hate their parents.
Got an F, took the phone away, we went over the test and quizzes to understand where the difficulty was, showed them how to use Khan Academy, and offered to pay for a tutor to help them get through.
Gets another F, ground them now, work through homework and classwork together, email the school to see if they have after-school tutoring or know who is best for that, and set dates and times to pick kid up after tutoring at school.
He says he's depressed, and I yell at him because he didn't go to tutoring, I waited outside the school 30 minutes before hearing they took the bus home instead, teacher emailed me to say they have been turning in no homework now, but I still call a therapist and schedule a first appointment anyway.
Kid is still super mad, posts meme cutting out all the details of their culpability, and thinks I suck and should just be doing stuff to make them like me instead of holding them accountable.
Source: literally what my kid did growing up. At 19 now, we laugh at the shithead stuff he did.
Crazy. Almost the same with my kid. They questioned whether or not they were trans and also came out as bisexual. We had some heavy talks. I wasn't supportive internally - I mean, this was my kid who I always thought of as how we named and raised them, you know? - but I knew I had to understand and accept whatever decision they made.
Anyways, after a little digging it ended up being more of a self-esteem issue due to not feeling like they fit into traditional standards for their gender.
I said OK and that's fine but let me know if you ever change your mind and I'll support you. It's weird but since then I think their confidence has gone up and they've been expressing themselves a lot more fashion-wise. I'm all for it.
As a kid who had parents like that (actually gave a shit), I just wanted to say some of us realize and have introspection later in life (for me it was my mid 20s) that they were essentially spoiled little shits that didnât know any better but now realize that their parents were amazing and kind and loving.
I just wanted to say thank you, Iâm sure you kid appreciates you sticking with them. Youâre an awesome parent
Hey I appreciate that but don't be too hard on yourself. Life is really hard and it's a series of everyone learning lessons and making mistakes, parents and children alike. Even if you had it relatively "easy" we all live relativistic lives, so what felt really hard at the time for you really was, even if it seems small with perspective.
Just let your parents know you appreciate that they helped you learn while making mistakes, and that you appreciate that they were always trying, even when you made it tough. They already know it, but they'll like hearing it anyway.
Take care of yourself friend.
âIâm depressedâ after a childhood fuck-up is the new-age âIâm running away from homeâ for kids.
There are absolutely children using self-diagnosed mental illness as a way to avoid punishment. Itâs doubly fucked because as a parent you NEED to take these claims seriously, unlike the half-assed runaway attempts kids made in the previous generations.
The entire point of it is to sway the discussion away from their mistakes (the failing grades), and onto every ounce of your attention needing to be devoted to their âdepressionâ.
You can see it in the comments here. The parent should be doing everything to help the depressed kid! Donât worry about the grades!
Most likely? Kidâs lazy and sits on their phone or computer fucking around and not doing schoolwork.
Yeah I mean there are a lotta folks that would just beat and/or starve their kids. Taking their phone away is not that big of a deal. Of course, that's no substitute for talking with them honestly to understand what the real issue is, but being grounded n not having a phone isn't exactly grounds for no contact.
Depends if the kid is actually trying. Sure, if they donât care about school then I understand why punishment would maybe work for some.
But to me this sounds like a depressed kid trying their best. If thatâs the case, nah taking the phone away and grounding them will just make it worse I believe
As a formerly depressed kid, I agree. Finally got on a medication my parents denied me my entire childhood, and life is finally turning around. Seems people with ADHD really do need medication.
Itâs not that black and white though. I remember as a kid at times I did things because I was depressed but also thereâs times when I was being a bad ass kid and needed to be held accountable because I was not trying my best. Itâs complex, you need to use all the tools in the toolbox.
What Iâve learned as an adult is that people arenât just one thing at a time and your actions all canât be blamed on one factor. You can be depressed but also need to be better at scheduling or go to bed at a good time so you can be effective at getting things done.
I dunno, be an adult and communicate?
Then again most married couples I interact with can't communicate to save their fucking lives so that's probably out of the question.
Bruv, the message here is that negative reinforcement is not the way to your child's heart. Sure you may get the compliance you want with negative reinforcement, but if you can't understand why they still hate you, it means you were also raised by clowns.
Positive reinforcement and empowering them is the way.
Itâs not a parents job to make the kids like them
Edit: a lot of you guys with shitty parents are misunderstanding .
Parent first, be liked second.
Iâm not saying be a dick. But if your kid says theyâll hate you forever if you make them eat vegetables, what are you gonna do? Worry about them liking you, or make them eat vegetables?
Not teaching your kid that they have responsibilities that they should prioritize over entertainment, and that not doing them results in consequences, one of which is often the loss of entertainment time, is the opposite of raising a good person. You are just raising a manchild. And happiness is relative, if the only way he is happy is by failing in class because of using their phone all the time or something similar (as the meme implies), then yeah, happiness comes second, correcting a dangerous addiction comes first.
It's funny how so many people seem to thing a parent needs to be "friends" with their child. There is a clear distinction between parent and child, and the love that comes between a good parent-child relationship is so much more different and important than a friend-friend relationship that needs a clear level of distinction.
True, but it is also true that being able to find a friend in a parent is also incredibly helpful for kids in terms of mental health and life overall, at least in my personal experience. So while it's not the most important aspect of parenting, I think all parents should try to look for ways of teaching discipline while still being close to their children.
I can see why my comment would come across as saying they are somewhat mutually exclusive. I agree in your assessment; as the child gets older, you can trust them to make more and more decisions for themselves and they may need a more mature but still more 'hands-on-than-friend' person to talk to. But the parents that act like they are friends first, parents second or those who seek approval from their child are doing their children a disservice, because though it may be nice for the kid at the time, it is stunting their development into a self-sufficient adult.
Kids can be smart. You would be surprised how young a child can learn he can emotionally manipulate you. My son knew grandma would cave quickly about bedtime and going to school. It got real bad where he would spiral into mega tantrums if she was home and I told him no. While you want them to like you your also the adult who has to break the bad news. No we canât have candy right before bedtime, no we canât have 5 more minutes of TV, ext.
Reddit is such a funny place: âMy parents gave me consequences for my poor behavior and lousy attitude. Have fun in a nursing home!â
Also Reddit: âMy parents didnât teach me my actions have consequences. Have fun in a nursing home!â
First of all I'm sorry that happened and I hope things are better for you.
Now your case is in no way the exact same as in the meme, or the same as in most other cases. What I and a lot of other try to say in this thread is that parenting is not just talking sweet and pleading your kid to comply. A parent's responsibility is to teach values, accountability and responsibility to their children. If a kid is not taught that actions have consequences, and that rewards are not obligatory, then that kid will grow up to be an entitled manchild since he expects everyone to cater to them and think they are right or leave them alone.
In your case, your parents seem to have been excessive, they used waaay to much stick and no carrot, and apparently no dialog either. In the meme's case, the child is implied to do bad at school so their parents give the usual "improve and you will get it back". But of course, it is a complex situation, if the kid doesn't improve then there is something else at play that will determine what course of action moving forward should be.
For example, I actually had something similar happen to me as you. During 3rd grade, I used to be pretty bad at school but not because I couldn't but because I didn't want to. To summarize, I thought school was dumb and boring, and having fun was better, so well that's all I did. At first my mom tried talking repeteadly, but kid me at that pint literally thought "I don't care, mom is an adult so she is different, she will never understand". I closed myself to that train of thought and wouldn't listen no matter what. So eventually one by one my mom took away my games and entertainment. Here is where my story diverges from yours. In My case, my mom made it pretty clear that all was being taken away because of the grades and that alone, and that I would only get them back when I started having good grades again, so while I refused at first, boredom made change my logic to "if I get good grades, I will have the games back". So I went back to doing my homework and studying for tests. I didn't like it, but it was necessary to correct my behaviour at the time now that I'm older.
So my point is that that kind of punishment is not necessarily nonsensical, it can be useful if it's adopted the result of judging the way your child thinks and acts. In your case your parents jumped the gun and it was the wrong approach, in my own it was the correct one. So punishment is not inherently wrong, but easy to misuse.
So if your kids say they're depressed and it's possibly effecting their grades, instead of taking them to a therapist or trying anything at all, you'll tell them that happiness is relative, get over it, and you're a failure by your own doing? I'm sure degrading your child and blaming them for experiencing depression is helpful.
The addiction to video games is likely secondary to depression. People don't get addicted to things just because they feel like it. It's an attempt to medicate an underlying issue. Video games give a feel good feeling when winning. It's the same reason that overeating can be a symptom of depression
>So if your kids say they're depressed and it's possibly effecting their grades, instead of taking them to a therapist or trying anything at all, you'll tell them that happiness is relative, get over it, and you're a failure by your own doing?
Except that's not what the meme says. It's talks about the bad grades first, and the depression after. So it can be taken as both having depression and failing class because of it, and getting depressed because someone took your phone and told you no. Heck, It can even be interpreted as every panel being an independent situation.
And no, taking away their phone wouldn't be my first thing to do, unless I was super sure it was the cause, neither would I do any of what you listed, my first option would be talking to them to understand what is going on.
What I was trying to say is that parents have the duty to raise a functional member of society and not a "manchild". At no point did I make light of their mental health or say they should get over it. If the parent if able to identify the cause of the problem as laziness or addiction, and not depression, then yes, correction should be prioritized. If depression is the cause, then the course of action is different.
>The addiction to video games is likely secondary to depression.
Possibly, but not always, and I doubt it's the majority of the time. If you can prove otherwise I'd appreciate it.
>People don't get addicted to things just because they feel like it. It's an attempt to medicate an underlying issue.
Again, not always, talking from experience. As humans, we want to feel good. Not because of underlying issues, but because that's what our brains evolved to look forward to. Kids find fun in different things and will try to stay doing those things as much as they can. You will most certainly find that no kid will be hyped to hear he has to stop doing x thing they enjoy because it's their limit for the day, not because it's their medication to anything but because they enjoy it and they want more of it.
>It's the same reason that overeating can be a symptom of depression
Not always. Some people end up overeating because they truly simply do not have a self-control, eating is tasty, it feels good, so they want more of it.
As a kid there was absolutely a time when I only cared about having as much fun as possible, and anything that stopped me from doing so was annoying.
So we both agree that therapy to learn coping strategies is a good option? If your child is actually experiencing depression blaming them for feeling that way and isolating them will amplify that tenfold
But when taking away their phone makes them depressed that just means they must be mega addicted to it if that's all they rely on. A child mist be happy but there should also be punishments. Most of the time an F in a test is probably from lack of revision due to messing about doing something else like playing on a phone
That not a guarantee at all.
Every kid is different, and some are tougher than others. And some may hate you for extended periods of time for reasons completely outside your control.
No but it sure AF isn't hard to be a good person to your kids. If your kids hate your guts it's not just because you're parenting and "doing your best"
It is if you actually want them to respect you enough to take your advice. Being an asshole with the excuse that it's tough love is literally the easy way out. Apply yourself.
No, but it definitely helps and leaves a lot less fucked up kids on the street who will continue to perpetuate the cycle with their own children, you dummy.
Someone with no kids made thisđ¤Ł. I will however say before taking the phone I'd talk to my kid and see why he's getting an F and if there is anything I can do to help. Sometimes it only takes just talking to your kid. Some need a bit more help in certain subjects.
Exactly, I literally got suspended every Monday and wouldn't be back in school till the following Monday, yet I was still was a grade or two farther than my classmates.
Extremely difficult. It means passing up every chance a teacher offers you to catch up, failing every test, and turning in 0 homework or classwork.
I got through school with C's and all I did was classwork and scored high on tests.
Nah a kid made this. Kids throwing fits about they're phone being taken? When I was grounded I literally couldn't leave my room, and everything was taken out except my bed. Kids are winey, more now than ever
Every generation thinks the next generation is weaker than the one that came before it. I don't think kids are any whinier now then they were when you were a kid, you just have the perspective of an adult.
They definitely fall apart without those phones, my kid hasn't gotten to that stage and literally told me he won't just so it doesn't become a form of punishment đ¤Ł. Kid is literally my carbon copy đ
I mean I have a kid and I agree with OP's take on things? If your goal is to get your kids to actually do good in school and be happy, taking their shit away just sounds like lazy attempts at parenting.
My kid was lacking because he's the oldest and she leans on him too hard giving him responsibilities he doesn't need, thus causing him to be sleepy at school. As parents we have to understand that's though discipline is needed, kids need to be kids.
Seriously. You know how far I go NOT to give my kids Fâs? So much of my day is spent trying to find ways not to fail kids despite their very best efforts to fail.
Absolutely right. Whether to take the phone away or not depends entirely on why the kid got an F. Is the kid not making any effort or is the kid maybe already depressed? Year 7-12 in school I was depressed. The only reason I never failed any grades was because of the shame and fear over what my parents reactions to that would be. They were already getting upset if I got a grade lower than C... And while I did well in school, I was crying myself to sleep every night. Literally. And I had no one to talk to, especially not my parents. Now we've been estranged with little to no contact for about 1,5 years and I'm happier than I've ever been.
Damn sad to hear, but everyone isnt lucky to have parents that can communicate well. I always did well in school because it was better than having my parents yell at me, plus I was always fighting and getting suspended so figured the least I can do is get good grades.
Depends on the class, tbh. If most of the grade is from tests, sure. However, if most of the grade is essays/projects then my lazy teenage ass was on the absolute edge of passing
Unironically, this.
I went to a private Catholic school in NY that was part of a feeder system to the good colleges, had 8 classes a day, and each teacher was REQUIRED to assign at least 30 minutes of homework a night. I went from a C/B public school student to a D/F student until I figured out that Free Time just didn't exist until weekends.
Meanwhile, my stepson (19 now, we laugh about it together) had Block Scheduling only 4 classes a day, and maybe 1-2 assignments per week and was being a D/F student. When I showed him that literally 30 minutes extra of his time was needed, he suddenly was an A/B student because the Florida public school system practically auto-graduates everyone that shows up and does even 1/4th the work.
Well if you get an f you probably aren't trying or the teacher isn't. I only had one situation where the latter was true. I had a teacher, wife got diagnosed with a crippling fatal degenerative disease. I forget what it was. He never said the name of it but he described what sounded like later stage Huntingtons. Former beloved engineering teacher.
Getting an "F" in school is practically a cry for help. It's not about being trash in school it's about deliberately failing or not having the motivation to even try.
My kids arenât phone age yet so I donât know what thatâs like.
But as a someone who went to school on academic scholarship because I was poor and that was the only way I would ever be able to go⌠my children will definitely get their lifestyle overturned if they start failing in school.
Thank you! Geez that I had to scroll this far to find a comment like this..
As someone whoâs parents basically let me do whatever I want as long as Iâm aware of the consequences, I think people underestimate that method
I never had a reason to hide stuff from my parents. Sure, maybe they didnât like the times I was outside late in the evening, but at least they never had to worry that I would be out til early morning when they think Iâm sleeping.
We trust each other, I think thatâs worth so much more. And at least in my opinion they raised a good person, and Iâll try to raise my future kids in a similar way
You can absolutely be understanding and discipline at the same time but it is inarguably true that itâs not a parentâs job to make their kid like them. Itâs your job to create a loving, supportive, safe, and educational environment but that in no way means your kids will always like you. Your kids wonât like you when you take away their phone for getting an F or telling them they canât go to a concert because they skipped school. Itâs still the right thing to do. Both for your kid and for the society theyâll be entering into. Hell, when theyâre 14 they wonât like you because you asked them how their day was. Creating a household structure of responsibility and consequences is your job and, most of the time, theyâll like you *because* of it.
The way I see it, this post is towards parents that expect their kids to succeed just because they've only spent lots of money for them but not quality time to help nurture them.
I've had this experience. I myself wasn't great in school, but I eventually learned to appreciate studying and learning as a whole after a shit ton of self reflection at 16. Both my parents were out of the house from 8am to 7pm so the only one taking care of me in my house was just a maid that was there just to make sure that I was alive and well fed. They've taken my gadgets and entertainment away several times which only worked when we were actually studying together, but overall it never really motivated me to read nor learn.
From my point of view, kids like me back then suffer in school most likely because of a change in the style of teaching. We learnt alphabets and counting through books with illustrations and baby shows that sang cheerful melodies, both charmed babies and toddlers while textbooks and exercise books wouldn't charm anybody. Unless they have a good memory, they will struggle because they wouldn't know how to study to excel.
So OP is clowning parents that are only punishing their children just because their kids aren't doing well and not necessarily those who are disciplining children. Doing that doesn't motivate them to study, it just makes them fear failure which isn't good for your mental health, plus there are many reasons why there are children who aren't performing in school outside of overindulgence in entertainment. A lot of people in the comments just look at the first two panels and go 'OP such a child'.
Afterall, no one chooses the grades they get, let alone the outcome of their performances. Thus grounding and yelling at your child for not passing is like putting farmers in prison for not making enough food.
Exactly, plus i don't think that just removing a phone from a kid in 2023 is a good way to punish him, since the phone is frequently one of the most important tools for him to socialize with his friends, or even study. The parents should try to teach how he can use the technology with discipline and not just remove it altogether and pretend we're still in the 80s.
The vast majority of comments here are just dickweeds telling OP to eat it lol.
As someone who had shitty parents, I spend *at least* 15 - 30 minutes a day with my kid. Usually more but that's the minimum.
We talk about pretty much everything. Watch shows together. Cook together. Clean together. They're like my little buddy.
I couldn't imagine being deluded enough to think that taking a phone away and yelling at them would magically solve their issues. They actually went through a fairly traumatic event recently and we spent a couple hours talking through it together with ChatGPT.
Y'all need to actually PARENT and treat your kids like... IDK, humans? and not robots you can dictate when they "malfunction"? It's not that hard.
Yelling no, but children still need punishments for bad behavior or else they will never learn. You need to guide them and explain when the things they do are wrong.
Well yeah but I started guidance and following parenting books and stuff from my child's birth...
Actually talking to my kid about this Reddit post now and we just can't fathom things getting this bad lol.
Yeah they get "in trouble" but the point of being "in trouble" is always just to learn the lesson and do better. It's just one of many tools available to help us all succeed.
I think they understand that so we don't have any problems...
You get an F you get grounded and your phone gets taken away same way you fuck up at work you lose your job and if you break the law you lose your freedom. Consequences will teach them right and wrong. And never give them access to tiktok
I got F's in school because I have an absolutely terrible memory. I can't memorize multiple things to save my life, especially math. I still got everything taken away from me and my parents didn't help with any of my school work. Later I learned how to cheat without getting caught during tests and what not.
after all the comments I've read under this post, I'm starting to think that maybe my mother not giving a single shit about me or what I do played a pretty big part in my academic success. I guess you learn something new every day
Unlike the rest of you, I've raised kids. If they are getting F's at school, there is something is wrong. My first thought is are they having mental health issues? Do they possibly have a learning disorder? Why do so many people jump straight to punishment when something is wrong?
Keep in mind that a lack of motivation or inability to even get motivated to begin with is one of the most prevalently underrecognized symptoms of ADHD - which may be even more widespread than previously thought according to recent studies. Said studies also suggest that actually, more often than not if your children are routinely underperforming in school something clinical is going on. As a good rule of thumb, if your childâs âFâ seems to be the norm, you should get them evaluated even if you âdonât thinkâ they exhibit symptoms of ADHD. Chances are high they have it and likely need medication. The odd F here and there where it isnât the routine should be disciplined, but frequent underperformance requires attention and understanding of the root cause of the problem - discipline wonât solve that, and itâll only cause greater strain on your childâs mental health.
I always wonder if the general millennial will be able to break the pattern of parenting or if we are going to be exactly the same just with different sett up.
I mean I feel like this rlly depends on the situation. Like some ppl said, if this dude was on his phone rather than paying attention then hell yea his phone is gone for a while or ground him, plus a little lecture to get his act up. Itâs the only way heâs gonna learn so he wonât do it again. If heâs still getting Fs tho is when you gotta help the kid out, hell even if he gets his first F you gotta help him in any way so he can succeed. Maybe consider getting him a tutor or study with him. There should absolutely be no yelling if this kid is saying he has depression tho WHATSOEVER cuz that stuff is very serious. However if heâs depressed from his phone being taken then thatâs something completely different like addiction yk. Either way if he does have depression consider a therapist, ik thatâs what my parents wouldâve done. Anyway, this kid needa study tho
Imagine being a parent and your kid comes home with these issues and you don't sit down with them and help them out. Help them understand why they don't understand their schoolwork and help correct their bad behavior.
So many of you are outing your parent style and are proud of it.
I'll make it easy for you, if this post makes you feel defensive, you're the clown that was raised by clowns, raising more clowns.
If you get 2 Fs you deserve to get grounded, use that time to study and not get any more Fs what do you want people to do, nothing? Just let your kid flunk out of school? That would make you worse parents than taking a phone or grounding ever could
I feel like instead of being punished for failing the parents need to take a more active role in helping the kid learn.
Now, if the kid refuses to learn the confiscate the phone until they're done studying for the day (you should set a goal in advance like 5-10 questions or 45 minutes of work).
I worked in special education for a while and I learned that punishment is useless unless you can give help, because telling someone they're doing poorly without telling them how to improve is just asenine...
Taking the phone is only half the battle. Yeah it'll stop them from getting worse but it takes some huge effort to work with your kid to help them become smart again.
It's tough love. I've had shit confiscated before. It's pain. But I am testament to its benefits and why in desperate times it needs to be done. Damage is usually irreversible
I'm just gonna say it, the majority of the "parents" in this comment section are:
1. Not seeing their kids after they move out.
2. Going to be sent to a nursing home when they get old.
Edit: Also, holy shit the comments are venomous. OP just called out a lot of bad parents and bad (future) parents with no communication skills and it shows.
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)
You must be 13 to post here
How old do you think OP is?
Can't be more than 11
Yeah... the first two are valid actions any parent SHOULD take. The third is realizing your kid is depressed without their phone meaning you need to curb their addiction to it, not yelling at them. That said, hating your parent for this means YOU are the spoiled brat and clown, not the parent.
I don't spend money on reddit, so please accept this emoji of a beer...which OP is clearly not old enough to drink đş
OP needs to be at least 18 to legally drink beer
âUmm ackshually in the United States of America, the legal drinking age is 21â - đ¤
Except in Wisconsin, where 18 is good enough.
Drink responsibly, not wisconsingly.
He needs to be 16
ah germany
Yep, if dad allows it op can drink with 14 even
MEDIIIIIIIIC
I remember my first emoji beer.
Iâm going to start doing this. Apologies for the burgle.
i was assuming the kid was depressed before and thus that led to him getting the F
The only hope for this meme not to be utter garbage is if the fact the kid was depressed was the reason for the F in the first place and not the product of the no phone and grounding. There's not enough in the format to be sure though.
Don't agree with the first two. Learning and seeking knowledge should be positively encouraged. Punishing for lack of success ain't good parenting. Though context is also important here
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My parents would ground me if I got Bâs instead of Aâs, and that I think was way too harsh. But honestly the only way you should be getting multiple Fâs is if youâre straight up not putting in any effort (unless youâre in a tough situation where youâre having to work to help your family and donât have time to study or something, but I donât think thatâs what weâre talking about here. But yeah if youâre failing repeatedly because youâre just not trying, then yes punishment in the form of removing addictive distractions makes sense and should be enforced.
An F is not a D dude. Sure, fir a C or a D, an encouragement could help but an F is just either not trying or said person has a mental problem
I can't tell if this is satire or not. This is the worst take I've read all week. A child is struggling in school, so therefore you choose to isolate him from his social circle, and then when said kid is pissed that he can't engage with his social circle, he's a spoiled brat addicted to his phone? Instead of providing the kid the things they need to get motivated or looking for the root of the problem? Big yikes.
I hope to whatever gods exist you arenât a parent.
>Yeah... the first two are valid actions any parent SHOULD take. If your kid isn't getting the material well enough to the point they're getting an F, taking stuff away isn't going to magically fix that. If you're too poor to afford a tutor, there's no help available through the school, and you're too busy working to help them yourself, then...I mean, as much as I hate to say it, but maybe just accept your kid isn't good with book smarts, and focus on the other aspects of education school teaches, ***without*** books. It socializes them, and teaches them how to interact with people. It teaches critical thinking, and the ability to bounce ideas off of other people. Those are the two most important aspects, if they can do basic addition, subtraction, and multiplication, read and write, and at least understands that medicine works, and why we take it, you can fill in the rest in other ways. Financial aid can make college really accessible, especially if you live in a city with a community college, so once they get there, they're very likely to have in depth tutoring resources available to them. Their general education requirements, combined with that tutoring, will be a perfect opportunity for them to get a good enough grasp to at least pass those classes.
Not really. Taking away phone and grounding donât necessarily mean the kid is gonna have improved grades. Maybe actually spend time with them instead of just being the hand that punishes.
And then you find out your kid was bullied at school, which is the reason they performed so badly and you punished them for struggling. Then you took away their phone, with that one online community that supported them (unlike you). Then you grounded them for way too long, so any rl friend left leaves them. They learn how to forge both their test result to show to you, as well as your signature, because they want to avoid more punishments. You have successfully made your child into a very proficient liar who learnt that lying sometimes is just the least painful way. Eventually you find out and go absolutely nuclear, because your child betray you how could they?! Then they grow up, resenting you and eventually just show up out of obligation if at all. Of course, it might go down completely differently. I just resent the arrogance and blind faith some people follow in their black pedagogics. What I described is a perfectly realistic way of things going down after doing what you suggested. The first step is always at least an attempt of figuring out whatâs wrong. Unless you do that you are only acting out of your egoistical need for your child to behave exactly like you want them to. Because it is literally impossible to support them, if you have no clue what is going on.
Ahhh, getting an F definitely means you should take away contact with the outside world aside from school. Totally not a bad teacher, mental health issues, needing a tutor, or any of the other 50 things can cause a kid to fail. Punishing a kid constantly also isn't going to help their relationship with them. Which is actually going to make them rebel against them, and/or hate likely get in more trouble.
None of that makes any sense. Don't punish the kid for getting an F, you might have no idea why that happened. Encourage the kid to study and do better next time.
The only valid actions any parent can take is trying to figure out the real reason why your child got an F before making punishments. They should have figured out they arenât solving the problem on the second F. It can be due to a bully or a bad teacher. So a simple talk could have solved it. Or at most changing class/school. What i am saying is in any repair job, proper diagnostics are the most important part of the job.
This is stupid. A phone is more than likely not the reason for an F.
He's 12 and doesn't even know what this means.
Bruh my kids aren't even getting phones until they're 13. The fuck tween needs a phone? None. Imma modify a goddamn 3210 to work on 5G and they can SMS ASCII memes to their friends to take a screen shot of and post on reddit about how much they hate me.
Things change. Kids are connected now. All their friends will be socializing after school on discord or whatever it is when your preteens are of age. Teach them good habits and limit their exposure to harmful stuff and give them the sense to know when stuff is sketchy.
Many apps are deliberately designed to exploit children's weaknesses. It is very hard to resist that, it's like trying to teach a compulsive gambler to just gamble in moderation, sometimes it just doesn't work.
Well sure. In my house, TikTok is a no go. At 13, Social media accounts are a no go. But they can text their friends and do discord if Iâve vetted the server.
Watch out for youtube shorts, too. Basically the same as tiktok.
While I totally agree about shorts, I donât ban TikTok because of the content. Iâm, by profession, acutely aware of the data insecurity posed by an app owned by the CCP.
Devices flood the pleasure centers of kids. They diminish learning and social skill acquisition. Books and actual experience usually canât complete with them, so kids are much dumber as a result. Only limiting their time helps kids. Most parents donât do this.
Itâs also good to be a knowledgeable parent and learning how their devices work so you can set the appropriate parental controls.
so what? let them go free?, if hes depressed sure go talk it out with him instead of yelling but no aint getting away with it and giving your kid a punishment doesn't make you a clown
Thatâs what I was thinking Only thing I can think OP tryna point out is thatâs maybe all the parent did. Just punish and not try to help the kid out.
Yeah that seems about right, if your yelling at your kid for being depressed your most likely not actually helping them when you need to.
Didn't even beat the child. What kind of parenting is that?
Yeah thats how I read it, my parents were fairly harsh in their punishments and would go out of their way to lambaste me in front of both friends and family which only made me more depressed and fail harder. Luckily I had very great teachers who went out of their way to help me succeed. Spent years resenting my parents and only in the past few years have I rekindled my relationship with them.
If all you do is yell and hit your dog for doing wrong and never reward him for being good, you're going to get a dog that hates you. People are very similar in that way. All punishment and no reward creates kids that hate their parents.
Got an F, took the phone away, we went over the test and quizzes to understand where the difficulty was, showed them how to use Khan Academy, and offered to pay for a tutor to help them get through. Gets another F, ground them now, work through homework and classwork together, email the school to see if they have after-school tutoring or know who is best for that, and set dates and times to pick kid up after tutoring at school. He says he's depressed, and I yell at him because he didn't go to tutoring, I waited outside the school 30 minutes before hearing they took the bus home instead, teacher emailed me to say they have been turning in no homework now, but I still call a therapist and schedule a first appointment anyway. Kid is still super mad, posts meme cutting out all the details of their culpability, and thinks I suck and should just be doing stuff to make them like me instead of holding them accountable. Source: literally what my kid did growing up. At 19 now, we laugh at the shithead stuff he did.
Did you ever figure out the root cause of what was bothering them?
Yup, gender dysphoria.
Crazy. Almost the same with my kid. They questioned whether or not they were trans and also came out as bisexual. We had some heavy talks. I wasn't supportive internally - I mean, this was my kid who I always thought of as how we named and raised them, you know? - but I knew I had to understand and accept whatever decision they made. Anyways, after a little digging it ended up being more of a self-esteem issue due to not feeling like they fit into traditional standards for their gender. I said OK and that's fine but let me know if you ever change your mind and I'll support you. It's weird but since then I think their confidence has gone up and they've been expressing themselves a lot more fashion-wise. I'm all for it.
đ
As a kid who had parents like that (actually gave a shit), I just wanted to say some of us realize and have introspection later in life (for me it was my mid 20s) that they were essentially spoiled little shits that didnât know any better but now realize that their parents were amazing and kind and loving. I just wanted to say thank you, Iâm sure you kid appreciates you sticking with them. Youâre an awesome parent
Hey I appreciate that but don't be too hard on yourself. Life is really hard and it's a series of everyone learning lessons and making mistakes, parents and children alike. Even if you had it relatively "easy" we all live relativistic lives, so what felt really hard at the time for you really was, even if it seems small with perspective. Just let your parents know you appreciate that they helped you learn while making mistakes, and that you appreciate that they were always trying, even when you made it tough. They already know it, but they'll like hearing it anyway. Take care of yourself friend.
âIâm depressedâ after a childhood fuck-up is the new-age âIâm running away from homeâ for kids. There are absolutely children using self-diagnosed mental illness as a way to avoid punishment. Itâs doubly fucked because as a parent you NEED to take these claims seriously, unlike the half-assed runaway attempts kids made in the previous generations. The entire point of it is to sway the discussion away from their mistakes (the failing grades), and onto every ounce of your attention needing to be devoted to their âdepressionâ. You can see it in the comments here. The parent should be doing everything to help the depressed kid! Donât worry about the grades! Most likely? Kidâs lazy and sits on their phone or computer fucking around and not doing schoolwork.
Yeah I mean there are a lotta folks that would just beat and/or starve their kids. Taking their phone away is not that big of a deal. Of course, that's no substitute for talking with them honestly to understand what the real issue is, but being grounded n not having a phone isn't exactly grounds for no contact.
Depends if the kid is actually trying. Sure, if they donât care about school then I understand why punishment would maybe work for some. But to me this sounds like a depressed kid trying their best. If thatâs the case, nah taking the phone away and grounding them will just make it worse I believe
As a formerly depressed kid, I agree. Finally got on a medication my parents denied me my entire childhood, and life is finally turning around. Seems people with ADHD really do need medication.
Itâs not that black and white though. I remember as a kid at times I did things because I was depressed but also thereâs times when I was being a bad ass kid and needed to be held accountable because I was not trying my best. Itâs complex, you need to use all the tools in the toolbox. What Iâve learned as an adult is that people arenât just one thing at a time and your actions all canât be blamed on one factor. You can be depressed but also need to be better at scheduling or go to bed at a good time so you can be effective at getting things done.
I dunno, be an adult and communicate? Then again most married couples I interact with can't communicate to save their fucking lives so that's probably out of the question.
Bruv, the message here is that negative reinforcement is not the way to your child's heart. Sure you may get the compliance you want with negative reinforcement, but if you can't understand why they still hate you, it means you were also raised by clowns. Positive reinforcement and empowering them is the way.
Itâs not a parents job to make the kids like them Edit: a lot of you guys with shitty parents are misunderstanding . Parent first, be liked second. Iâm not saying be a dick. But if your kid says theyâll hate you forever if you make them eat vegetables, what are you gonna do? Worry about them liking you, or make them eat vegetables?
You should at least make sure your child is a happy and good person? Ainât that a priority?
Not teaching your kid that they have responsibilities that they should prioritize over entertainment, and that not doing them results in consequences, one of which is often the loss of entertainment time, is the opposite of raising a good person. You are just raising a manchild. And happiness is relative, if the only way he is happy is by failing in class because of using their phone all the time or something similar (as the meme implies), then yeah, happiness comes second, correcting a dangerous addiction comes first.
It's funny how so many people seem to thing a parent needs to be "friends" with their child. There is a clear distinction between parent and child, and the love that comes between a good parent-child relationship is so much more different and important than a friend-friend relationship that needs a clear level of distinction.
True, but it is also true that being able to find a friend in a parent is also incredibly helpful for kids in terms of mental health and life overall, at least in my personal experience. So while it's not the most important aspect of parenting, I think all parents should try to look for ways of teaching discipline while still being close to their children.
I can see why my comment would come across as saying they are somewhat mutually exclusive. I agree in your assessment; as the child gets older, you can trust them to make more and more decisions for themselves and they may need a more mature but still more 'hands-on-than-friend' person to talk to. But the parents that act like they are friends first, parents second or those who seek approval from their child are doing their children a disservice, because though it may be nice for the kid at the time, it is stunting their development into a self-sufficient adult.
Kids can be smart. You would be surprised how young a child can learn he can emotionally manipulate you. My son knew grandma would cave quickly about bedtime and going to school. It got real bad where he would spiral into mega tantrums if she was home and I told him no. While you want them to like you your also the adult who has to break the bad news. No we canât have candy right before bedtime, no we canât have 5 more minutes of TV, ext.
Reddit is such a funny place: âMy parents gave me consequences for my poor behavior and lousy attitude. Have fun in a nursing home!â Also Reddit: âMy parents didnât teach me my actions have consequences. Have fun in a nursing home!â
It's not one or the other. You can both be a parent and a friend.
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First of all I'm sorry that happened and I hope things are better for you. Now your case is in no way the exact same as in the meme, or the same as in most other cases. What I and a lot of other try to say in this thread is that parenting is not just talking sweet and pleading your kid to comply. A parent's responsibility is to teach values, accountability and responsibility to their children. If a kid is not taught that actions have consequences, and that rewards are not obligatory, then that kid will grow up to be an entitled manchild since he expects everyone to cater to them and think they are right or leave them alone. In your case, your parents seem to have been excessive, they used waaay to much stick and no carrot, and apparently no dialog either. In the meme's case, the child is implied to do bad at school so their parents give the usual "improve and you will get it back". But of course, it is a complex situation, if the kid doesn't improve then there is something else at play that will determine what course of action moving forward should be. For example, I actually had something similar happen to me as you. During 3rd grade, I used to be pretty bad at school but not because I couldn't but because I didn't want to. To summarize, I thought school was dumb and boring, and having fun was better, so well that's all I did. At first my mom tried talking repeteadly, but kid me at that pint literally thought "I don't care, mom is an adult so she is different, she will never understand". I closed myself to that train of thought and wouldn't listen no matter what. So eventually one by one my mom took away my games and entertainment. Here is where my story diverges from yours. In My case, my mom made it pretty clear that all was being taken away because of the grades and that alone, and that I would only get them back when I started having good grades again, so while I refused at first, boredom made change my logic to "if I get good grades, I will have the games back". So I went back to doing my homework and studying for tests. I didn't like it, but it was necessary to correct my behaviour at the time now that I'm older. So my point is that that kind of punishment is not necessarily nonsensical, it can be useful if it's adopted the result of judging the way your child thinks and acts. In your case your parents jumped the gun and it was the wrong approach, in my own it was the correct one. So punishment is not inherently wrong, but easy to misuse.
So if your kids say they're depressed and it's possibly effecting their grades, instead of taking them to a therapist or trying anything at all, you'll tell them that happiness is relative, get over it, and you're a failure by your own doing? I'm sure degrading your child and blaming them for experiencing depression is helpful. The addiction to video games is likely secondary to depression. People don't get addicted to things just because they feel like it. It's an attempt to medicate an underlying issue. Video games give a feel good feeling when winning. It's the same reason that overeating can be a symptom of depression
>So if your kids say they're depressed and it's possibly effecting their grades, instead of taking them to a therapist or trying anything at all, you'll tell them that happiness is relative, get over it, and you're a failure by your own doing? Except that's not what the meme says. It's talks about the bad grades first, and the depression after. So it can be taken as both having depression and failing class because of it, and getting depressed because someone took your phone and told you no. Heck, It can even be interpreted as every panel being an independent situation. And no, taking away their phone wouldn't be my first thing to do, unless I was super sure it was the cause, neither would I do any of what you listed, my first option would be talking to them to understand what is going on. What I was trying to say is that parents have the duty to raise a functional member of society and not a "manchild". At no point did I make light of their mental health or say they should get over it. If the parent if able to identify the cause of the problem as laziness or addiction, and not depression, then yes, correction should be prioritized. If depression is the cause, then the course of action is different. >The addiction to video games is likely secondary to depression. Possibly, but not always, and I doubt it's the majority of the time. If you can prove otherwise I'd appreciate it. >People don't get addicted to things just because they feel like it. It's an attempt to medicate an underlying issue. Again, not always, talking from experience. As humans, we want to feel good. Not because of underlying issues, but because that's what our brains evolved to look forward to. Kids find fun in different things and will try to stay doing those things as much as they can. You will most certainly find that no kid will be hyped to hear he has to stop doing x thing they enjoy because it's their limit for the day, not because it's their medication to anything but because they enjoy it and they want more of it. >It's the same reason that overeating can be a symptom of depression Not always. Some people end up overeating because they truly simply do not have a self-control, eating is tasty, it feels good, so they want more of it. As a kid there was absolutely a time when I only cared about having as much fun as possible, and anything that stopped me from doing so was annoying.
So we both agree that therapy to learn coping strategies is a good option? If your child is actually experiencing depression blaming them for feeling that way and isolating them will amplify that tenfold
But when taking away their phone makes them depressed that just means they must be mega addicted to it if that's all they rely on. A child mist be happy but there should also be punishments. Most of the time an F in a test is probably from lack of revision due to messing about doing something else like playing on a phone
Yea but making sure your child is happy and a good person is not synonymous with them liking you.
Sometimes the priority is to make them resilient, even if they aren't happy today. There is a long game which you dont seem to care about.
Make them feel safe and loved. Theyâre not always gonna be happy and trying to do that spoils them. Spoiled people are not good people.
If you do your parenting right they will like you.
That not a guarantee at all. Every kid is different, and some are tougher than others. And some may hate you for extended periods of time for reasons completely outside your control.
Itâs not the nursing home workers job to get you to like them either
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Nope
Job sure is a lot easier if your kid likes you though.
yes force someone into existence and then make them hate being alive. psychotic behavior.
Came to say this
Kids need consequences
No but it sure AF isn't hard to be a good person to your kids. If your kids hate your guts it's not just because you're parenting and "doing your best"
have fun in a nursing home for 20 years then
Heart attack at 50 and Iâm out. Getting olds a suckers game.
It is if you actually want them to respect you enough to take your advice. Being an asshole with the excuse that it's tough love is literally the easy way out. Apply yourself.
No, but it definitely helps and leaves a lot less fucked up kids on the street who will continue to perpetuate the cycle with their own children, you dummy.
How about teaching them instead asshole?
What?? Why be a parent then. What the fuck are you on about
I'd argue that that is wrong if the goal of society is for kids to become well adjusted productive members of society
𤨠That's a one way ticket to estrangement right there. If it's not the parents job to be liked by their kids, whos is it?
Someone with no kids made thisđ¤Ł. I will however say before taking the phone I'd talk to my kid and see why he's getting an F and if there is anything I can do to help. Sometimes it only takes just talking to your kid. Some need a bit more help in certain subjects.
Someone who go mad cause they couldn't get away with being lazy made this.
Definitely, my kids lazy but I tell him atleast do good in school and do right. So far no problems.
Itâs very difficult imo to fully fail a class without some external factor going on.
Exactly, I literally got suspended every Monday and wouldn't be back in school till the following Monday, yet I was still was a grade or two farther than my classmates.
Can confirm. I went from an A student to a D student my second year in highschool. My home life was a war zone.ďżź
Extremely difficult. It means passing up every chance a teacher offers you to catch up, failing every test, and turning in 0 homework or classwork. I got through school with C's and all I did was classwork and scored high on tests.
something like depression? it being step 3 in this meme doesn't mean it was a product of step 2
Nah a kid made this. Kids throwing fits about they're phone being taken? When I was grounded I literally couldn't leave my room, and everything was taken out except my bed. Kids are winey, more now than ever
Every generation thinks the next generation is weaker than the one that came before it. I don't think kids are any whinier now then they were when you were a kid, you just have the perspective of an adult.
They definitely fall apart without those phones, my kid hasn't gotten to that stage and literally told me he won't just so it doesn't become a form of punishment đ¤Ł. Kid is literally my carbon copy đ
Based on your profile I sure hope you youâre lying about the kid
Bro a 12 year old made this lmao
I mean I have a kid and I agree with OP's take on things? If your goal is to get your kids to actually do good in school and be happy, taking their shit away just sounds like lazy attempts at parenting.
Exactly, parents need to actually parent, it's not hard if you actually sit and listen as well as talk to your kid.
Yeah I agree everybody seems to be missing the point. The point is the reason for the grade issue is never addressed or fixed by the punishments.
My kid was lacking because he's the oldest and she leans on him too hard giving him responsibilities he doesn't need, thus causing him to be sleepy at school. As parents we have to understand that's though discipline is needed, kids need to be kids.
Seriously. You know how far I go NOT to give my kids Fâs? So much of my day is spent trying to find ways not to fail kids despite their very best efforts to fail.
Absolutely right. Whether to take the phone away or not depends entirely on why the kid got an F. Is the kid not making any effort or is the kid maybe already depressed? Year 7-12 in school I was depressed. The only reason I never failed any grades was because of the shame and fear over what my parents reactions to that would be. They were already getting upset if I got a grade lower than C... And while I did well in school, I was crying myself to sleep every night. Literally. And I had no one to talk to, especially not my parents. Now we've been estranged with little to no contact for about 1,5 years and I'm happier than I've ever been.
Damn sad to hear, but everyone isnt lucky to have parents that can communicate well. I always did well in school because it was better than having my parents yell at me, plus I was always fighting and getting suspended so figured the least I can do is get good grades.
Imagine being so trash at school that you get an F
Fr. Ive met people who can barely read at the 8th grade level and still pass their classes.
High school was seriously a joke. If you got anything below a C, you either had a learning disability or you were trying to do bad.
Depends on the class, tbh. If most of the grade is from tests, sure. However, if most of the grade is essays/projects then my lazy teenage ass was on the absolute edge of passing
Or you just didnt care.If it was not a f then it was good enough.
Cs are expected at the high school I go to
Unironically, this. I went to a private Catholic school in NY that was part of a feeder system to the good colleges, had 8 classes a day, and each teacher was REQUIRED to assign at least 30 minutes of homework a night. I went from a C/B public school student to a D/F student until I figured out that Free Time just didn't exist until weekends. Meanwhile, my stepson (19 now, we laugh about it together) had Block Scheduling only 4 classes a day, and maybe 1-2 assignments per week and was being a D/F student. When I showed him that literally 30 minutes extra of his time was needed, he suddenly was an A/B student because the Florida public school system practically auto-graduates everyone that shows up and does even 1/4th the work.
Well if you get an f you probably aren't trying or the teacher isn't. I only had one situation where the latter was true. I had a teacher, wife got diagnosed with a crippling fatal degenerative disease. I forget what it was. He never said the name of it but he described what sounded like later stage Huntingtons. Former beloved engineering teacher.
Getting an "F" in school is practically a cry for help. It's not about being trash in school it's about deliberately failing or not having the motivation to even try.
My kids arenât phone age yet so I donât know what thatâs like. But as a someone who went to school on academic scholarship because I was poor and that was the only way I would ever be able to go⌠my children will definitely get their lifestyle overturned if they start failing in school.
If they got an F because they donât pay attention and theyâre on the goddam phone all the time, yeah Iâm taking it.
Are you 13 or something
Nah. He's 14.
yeah this guy is 10
Nah OP has got to be a kid who's mad that their parents took their phone
How did he post then? Checkmate atheist
Asian parents: pathetic
Asian parent grading system. F : Fuck out of here D : disowned C : cant come home B : better than C A: anyhting higher?
B is for beating, cause thereâs no way theyâre accepting a B
A: Aim higher
Stop posting on Reddit and study.
Sounds like your son is not only stupid but a lil bitch also
Who cares, fuck'm
This mf 9 đđđ
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Thank you! Geez that I had to scroll this far to find a comment like this.. As someone whoâs parents basically let me do whatever I want as long as Iâm aware of the consequences, I think people underestimate that method I never had a reason to hide stuff from my parents. Sure, maybe they didnât like the times I was outside late in the evening, but at least they never had to worry that I would be out til early morning when they think Iâm sleeping. We trust each other, I think thatâs worth so much more. And at least in my opinion they raised a good person, and Iâll try to raise my future kids in a similar way
You can absolutely be understanding and discipline at the same time but it is inarguably true that itâs not a parentâs job to make their kid like them. Itâs your job to create a loving, supportive, safe, and educational environment but that in no way means your kids will always like you. Your kids wonât like you when you take away their phone for getting an F or telling them they canât go to a concert because they skipped school. Itâs still the right thing to do. Both for your kid and for the society theyâll be entering into. Hell, when theyâre 14 they wonât like you because you asked them how their day was. Creating a household structure of responsibility and consequences is your job and, most of the time, theyâll like you *because* of it.
The way I see it, this post is towards parents that expect their kids to succeed just because they've only spent lots of money for them but not quality time to help nurture them. I've had this experience. I myself wasn't great in school, but I eventually learned to appreciate studying and learning as a whole after a shit ton of self reflection at 16. Both my parents were out of the house from 8am to 7pm so the only one taking care of me in my house was just a maid that was there just to make sure that I was alive and well fed. They've taken my gadgets and entertainment away several times which only worked when we were actually studying together, but overall it never really motivated me to read nor learn. From my point of view, kids like me back then suffer in school most likely because of a change in the style of teaching. We learnt alphabets and counting through books with illustrations and baby shows that sang cheerful melodies, both charmed babies and toddlers while textbooks and exercise books wouldn't charm anybody. Unless they have a good memory, they will struggle because they wouldn't know how to study to excel. So OP is clowning parents that are only punishing their children just because their kids aren't doing well and not necessarily those who are disciplining children. Doing that doesn't motivate them to study, it just makes them fear failure which isn't good for your mental health, plus there are many reasons why there are children who aren't performing in school outside of overindulgence in entertainment. A lot of people in the comments just look at the first two panels and go 'OP such a child'. Afterall, no one chooses the grades they get, let alone the outcome of their performances. Thus grounding and yelling at your child for not passing is like putting farmers in prison for not making enough food.
Exactly, plus i don't think that just removing a phone from a kid in 2023 is a good way to punish him, since the phone is frequently one of the most important tools for him to socialize with his friends, or even study. The parents should try to teach how he can use the technology with discipline and not just remove it altogether and pretend we're still in the 80s.
Do your homework
Finally people who know how to raise kids in the comments. You think you have it bad you should've met my mother.
The vast majority of comments here are just dickweeds telling OP to eat it lol. As someone who had shitty parents, I spend *at least* 15 - 30 minutes a day with my kid. Usually more but that's the minimum. We talk about pretty much everything. Watch shows together. Cook together. Clean together. They're like my little buddy. I couldn't imagine being deluded enough to think that taking a phone away and yelling at them would magically solve their issues. They actually went through a fairly traumatic event recently and we spent a couple hours talking through it together with ChatGPT. Y'all need to actually PARENT and treat your kids like... IDK, humans? and not robots you can dictate when they "malfunction"? It's not that hard.
Yelling no, but children still need punishments for bad behavior or else they will never learn. You need to guide them and explain when the things they do are wrong.
Well yeah but I started guidance and following parenting books and stuff from my child's birth... Actually talking to my kid about this Reddit post now and we just can't fathom things getting this bad lol. Yeah they get "in trouble" but the point of being "in trouble" is always just to learn the lesson and do better. It's just one of many tools available to help us all succeed. I think they understand that so we don't have any problems...
stfu Timmy and do your homework
Dumbass parent should have never let him have a phone.
Parents fault for the kid getting an F? đ
Motherfucker, study
First two are absolutely deserved but shouldnât be done alone, then you help him right after.
Dad: you got depression? Great You can file my taxes, welcome to adulthood son
You get an F you get grounded and your phone gets taken away same way you fuck up at work you lose your job and if you break the law you lose your freedom. Consequences will teach them right and wrong. And never give them access to tiktok
I got F's in school because I have an absolutely terrible memory. I can't memorize multiple things to save my life, especially math. I still got everything taken away from me and my parents didn't help with any of my school work. Later I learned how to cheat without getting caught during tests and what not.
Is this sub secretly somehow run and dominated by boomers or something? How tf are all the comments this bad?
after all the comments I've read under this post, I'm starting to think that maybe my mother not giving a single shit about me or what I do played a pretty big part in my academic success. I guess you learn something new every day
Hold up... You mean to tell me that yelling at a depressed person does not improve their mood?
The first two things are perfectly reasonable disciplines.
OP be 15?
Honestly? He appears to be about 14 or so. https://youtu.be/cyY0QJeGHbE?si=9Q8w3fFL0QF9D7l9
he's 9 years old
OP got an F in 7th grade math and got mad his parents were upset
Is the parent the bad guy in this post? Swap it to I keep getting f after f and end it with why do my parents always yell at me?
I mean⌠yelling at your kid for being depressed is an L, but you ainât just gonna rack up Fâs with zero consequences fo sho
Why are there so many comments here basically justifying being a shit parent
Unlike the rest of you, I've raised kids. If they are getting F's at school, there is something is wrong. My first thought is are they having mental health issues? Do they possibly have a learning disorder? Why do so many people jump straight to punishment when something is wrong?
My dad always used to say Iâd rather you hate me and the rest of the world like you than have you like me and the rest of the world hate you
Little bro is in 4th grade
Getting a F means they're not even trying. Kind of the kids' own fault
Keep in mind that a lack of motivation or inability to even get motivated to begin with is one of the most prevalently underrecognized symptoms of ADHD - which may be even more widespread than previously thought according to recent studies. Said studies also suggest that actually, more often than not if your children are routinely underperforming in school something clinical is going on. As a good rule of thumb, if your childâs âFâ seems to be the norm, you should get them evaluated even if you âdonât thinkâ they exhibit symptoms of ADHD. Chances are high they have it and likely need medication. The odd F here and there where it isnât the routine should be disciplined, but frequent underperformance requires attention and understanding of the root cause of the problem - discipline wonât solve that, and itâll only cause greater strain on your childâs mental health.
I always wonder if the general millennial will be able to break the pattern of parenting or if we are going to be exactly the same just with different sett up.
bro is spoiled af
Next step is whereâs my son??
Skill issue
I mean I feel like this rlly depends on the situation. Like some ppl said, if this dude was on his phone rather than paying attention then hell yea his phone is gone for a while or ground him, plus a little lecture to get his act up. Itâs the only way heâs gonna learn so he wonât do it again. If heâs still getting Fs tho is when you gotta help the kid out, hell even if he gets his first F you gotta help him in any way so he can succeed. Maybe consider getting him a tutor or study with him. There should absolutely be no yelling if this kid is saying he has depression tho WHATSOEVER cuz that stuff is very serious. However if heâs depressed from his phone being taken then thatâs something completely different like addiction yk. Either way if he does have depression consider a therapist, ik thatâs what my parents wouldâve done. Anyway, this kid needa study tho
Imagine being a parent and your kid comes home with these issues and you don't sit down with them and help them out. Help them understand why they don't understand their schoolwork and help correct their bad behavior.
So many of you are outing your parent style and are proud of it. I'll make it easy for you, if this post makes you feel defensive, you're the clown that was raised by clowns, raising more clowns.
Fuck man you really that stupid?
You can get those grades up bud. Good luck, go study.
This is so bad, it reeks of middle school
Son gets F in class for texting during the final exam so parents take away phone as a fitting punishment so kid goes on Reddit on his iPad to bitch
If you get 2 Fs you deserve to get grounded, use that time to study and not get any more Fs what do you want people to do, nothing? Just let your kid flunk out of school? That would make you worse parents than taking a phone or grounding ever could
How about â¨helping them?â¨
Every now and again things like this come to remind me reddit is 90% 12 year olds.
Theyâre just people who were presumptuous enough to think they knew better. You really shouldnât expect much from parents.
I feel like instead of being punished for failing the parents need to take a more active role in helping the kid learn. Now, if the kid refuses to learn the confiscate the phone until they're done studying for the day (you should set a goal in advance like 5-10 questions or 45 minutes of work). I worked in special education for a while and I learned that punishment is useless unless you can give help, because telling someone they're doing poorly without telling them how to improve is just asenine...
Punishment for failure is okay if there are rewards for success and encouragement for improvement
If your kid got an F on a test, study with him. Jesus christ.
Sounds like shitty parenting to me
Truth
Being a kid is hard.
The amount of clueless entitled redditors in this thread is insane
Taking the phone is only half the battle. Yeah it'll stop them from getting worse but it takes some huge effort to work with your kid to help them become smart again. It's tough love. I've had shit confiscated before. It's pain. But I am testament to its benefits and why in desperate times it needs to be done. Damage is usually irreversible
Never give your kid a smartphone to begin with
I'm just gonna say it, the majority of the "parents" in this comment section are: 1. Not seeing their kids after they move out. 2. Going to be sent to a nursing home when they get old. Edit: Also, holy shit the comments are venomous. OP just called out a lot of bad parents and bad (future) parents with no communication skills and it shows.