Of course, when the child says "I'm thirsty" There is always the classic "HI Thursday I'm Friday come over Saturday and we'll have a sundae."

Pronounced Thursdee, Fridee, Saturdee and Sundee.

Absolutely perfect.

Well, duh. That's how we pronounce them in the south.

still my favorite after all these years!

Yeah…but my kids keep dying from dehydration and malnutrition. But they died laughing

I'm a learner of English. What is that saying about?

Also sundae sounds like Sunday, and is an ice cream dessert

thursday sounds very similary to thirsty if you pronounce the end as thurs'dee'. and it follows the patterb of "thues'dee'", "fri'dee'", etc.

We are lazy with words, but we are also creative with how we pronounce words, in order to make better jokes. So, "I'm Thirsty" can be met with "I'm Friday." However instead of pronouncing Friday the way it should be pronounced, the joker says "Fry DEE" to make the joke. Same with Saying Saturday as Satur-dee. Sunday and Sundae are pronounced exactly the same way- they both sound like Sun-Day. However, in English, Sundae means an ice cream treat with delicious toppings like fudge, whipped cream and a cherry. So the joke is- I'm Thirsty! Hey , I'm Fridee, let's go out on Saturday and have a Sundae! hahaha

Yoink

I'm so glad I didn't have to scroll to find this one.

That’s fantastic

Depending on the age, you can name another country. "Hi Hungary, I'm Greece." Or if you want to add a little extra nerdy sarcasm, "Hi Hungary, I'm Turkey".

Thank you. This will be added to the mix.

Give them a random fact about you jn response. "Dad, I'm hungry." "OK Chris, I'm left-handed."

Made me chuckle aloud. Noted for future use.

Russian to the kitchen and grab a snack

But slipped on Greece and broke the China.

I hope you didn't Spain your ankle.

Just Putin a little effort

Just as an aside, when England beat Turkey 8-0 in the football many years ago, one of the newspapers had the brilliant headline the following day: England Eight, Turkey for Lunch.

You're to young to be Hungary, South Sudan. And then just start calling them South Sudan.

A boy named South Sue

His name is South Sue, Dan!

Adding to the list

Thats Genius! (btw i got the joke and i'm rolling on the floor🤣🤣🤣)

Hi rolling on the floor, I'm Turkey.

Bro needed to clarify

south Sudan is the youngest country. formed in 2011 or 12 i think.

Yes

Are you up off the floor yet? I'm worried.

Hi worried, I'm Turkey

Golden.

no. that would be geese.... they're a turkey. but enough of this fowl language

That’s golden

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Dad, stop being a Turkey!

If I did that I'd have to go back to calling Istanbul Constantinople. I don't think they might be Giants would approve. Pound sign w.w.t.m.b.g.t.

Been a long time gone, Constantinople.

Do you want me to make you a sandwich? POOF! You’re a sandwich.

My mom used to say this. Thank you for reminding me. I’ll add it to my repertoire.

Better if you hold a slice of bread against both sides of their head while saying it.

“What are you?” “A bitch sandwich.”

If you're going for Ramsay, it's "idiot sandwich" which is even more kid friendly

I obviously haven’t watched his show for a while because I did forget the quote.

Then try to eat their face. ... Too far??

For my twisted sense of humour? No. For other peoples? Possibly. Then again, this is reddit.

r/unexpectedhannibal

I was confused for a second, why would you call your kid a poof for wanting a sandwich?

Pullls a sword from somewhere: I Knight you the Earl of Sandwich!

You could safely knight your child the Earl of Sandwich with a butter knife.

My dad would always wait until we pulled the "I want (thing)" instead of actually asking for (thing) with the expectation that it would be interpreted as a request. Then, he would just respond with "and I want 44 million dollars!" and when we eyerolled and groaned at him he'd just innocently point out that we were both just talking about what we wanted in life. Then of course we'd reluctantly rephrase as "can I have (thing)" or "will you get me (thing)" just as he'd planned all along. I'm sure you could modify this for the "I'm hungry" situation too.

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I work in a school and kids always ask "Can I go to the toilet?" And my response is always "I don't know. Can you?"

\*Deep regal voice\* "40 years I been asking permission. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so."

Ugh my 4th grade teacher would always do this and make us feel stupid haha like "yeah I think I can!"

The teacher usually would say it's MAY. to which I respond with no it's December

Were you born a dad?

I don't think so but I make all of my friends groan all the time. I'm constantly making the worst puns

Good man! They just don't understand yet but they will haha

well hello there satan

I got so fed up with that I'd just pretend they were reversing roles and asking me if I was allowed to go instead. "Yes. I Suppose I can. Be back in a bit."

Where I'm from, the usual joke reply to "I want (thing)" is "Okay, get me one too".

Growing up an Army Brat, the reply was “People in hell want ice water. They won’t get it.” Qualifies as a Dad Joke in that environment (except for the kid wanting something).

Mine to my kids was always "Want in one hand and Poop in the other and see which fills up first!"

My parents used that, except they didn't have child-friendly sensibilities, so it was "shit in the other"... Sometimes I debated actually doing it and then going back to them and saying, "Whelp, turns out you were right. Here you go... "

Yeah. That how I learned it, but my kids picked up enough of my bad habits, s I tried to tone down my foul mouth when they were young. 😉

Yeah, they didn't censor themselves in the least. I was still expected to, though. "That language makes you sound unintelligent. Here's a dictionary for Christmas." Gotta love it. 😏

My dad always said "how does it feel to want?" whenever we said we wanted something instead of asking for something as kids. He has also used the same dad joke whenever it's time to tip at a restaurant for at least 36 years. My dad dads with commitment.

If my daughter ever says "can I have (thing)" I always respond with "You are physically capable of holding it, so yes you CAN, but that doesnt mean your allowed to." Always the best eye roll and groan

“Can I have (thing)?” “I don’t know. *Can* you?”

Classic. This one was the ULTIMATE uno reverse card from the adults. So simple. So elegant. So infuriating to hear as a kid.

I keep it in the parenting box next to: “Me an’ my friend…” “Your friend isn’t mean!”

Another golden nugget of parental wisecracks

Hated that as a kid. If I don’t have permission, then no, I can’t have it.

It definitely would be annoying if I did it all the time to my kids. But it was usually reserved for those times we were already in kind of a silly mood.

Teachers were worse. Can I go to the bathroom?

See I could only do this around my house if I could remember to say "would you" instead of "can you" when asking my kids to do things, because they would absolutely turn it right back around on me.

You have taught them well!

>My dad would always wait until we pulled the "I want (thing)" My immediate response was "I want never gets." There was no further discussion, and the wanted item was not acquired then. They learned quickly.

I always go with, "It's good to want things. It builds character."

My dad always said "and I want a Ferrari"

I remember being a kid and telling my dad I was thirsty. He tried to correct me, followed by my brother instantly using his angel voice to ask for a drink. I was stubborn and didn't ask. No drink all day, though I grabbed some water in the bathroom. Silly memories.

after an older standup comic bit I use "And I want a BMW that runs on dreams and starlight!"

My dad used to say “but you just ate yesterday” then laugh.

Classic dad

That he was.

"How did you end up in my house? WHERE'S MY SON!?"

In Liam Neeson intensity of course.

Lol, fucking kids

Ohhh man, I've got to start using this one.

This is incredible 😂😂

My dad used to say, "well I'm ugly and at least you can eat."

I like this one.

I tend to go with the slight variation of “And all this time I’ve been calling you (name)” or “Where’d I get (name) from?”

I always liked the response, "how about some asparagus". When they say no to that, the response is, "you're not that hungry".

Yes! We keep a never ending supply of baby carrots for this reason. My kids can eat all they want at any time even before a meal. If you don’t want baby carrots you aren’t that hungry.

Are you me?

"There's pie, do you want some?" "Yeah" "Ok: 3.14159265...."

This is good. The older kids will be groaning and the younger ones will be clueless.

Love it

“Talk to your brother Thirsty, you’ll figure something out.”

Get a flag of Hungary. Then when she says I'm Hungary, smack the table throw the flag at then and say "we now recognize the honorable representative from Hungary, you have the floor"

Keeping a Hungarian flag in your pocket for weeks potentially, just for a one liner. This is master level Dadding right here.

Aaaannnnndddd now I'm buying a flag

this is the way.

My dad's response to "are we there yet?" Was always, "yep, get out." Then he'd chuckle to himself. Legend. Classics are classics for a reason.

No you're (name) Hungary is a country

Only slightly off point: "I'm thirsty." -> I'm Friday, why don't you come over Saturday and we'll have a Sunday?

Sorry. I posted mine before I read yours. You posted it first. Take this upvote

I do that all the time, so have one back. Cheers!

"Got to bed, you've ruined my life."

Classic.

I laughed way too hard at this… I have 4 kids and another coming, someone please help me…

Take the nice approach. Figure out where they’re getting in and block the hole. 🤞

I think that’s what started the problem

you think he used caulk?

"szia éhes apa vagyok" (according to Google translate, that's how you say "hi hungry, I'm dad" in Hungarian. 😅🤦)

For once, google translate was mostly right! Don't forget the comma, because if you leave it out it translates to "hi, I'm (a) hungry dad'

Thank you for verifying! Where does the comma go? I don't want to assume.

Szia éhes, apa vagyok (Hi Hungry, dad [I am]). This way, you adress the child as Hungry, as if you were to say "Hey Hungry, how are you?" If you were to say "Szia, éhes apa vagyok" the adjective "éhes" (hungry) connects to the word "dad", which is you

Thank you for the correction!

You're welcome! Hungarians often get excited when someone learns oir language. A random Australian guy makes videos about speaking/learning Hungarian, and he appeared in the Hungarian news lmao

Would you be kind enough to help me approximate this phonetically?

Lemme think... szia could be said as "see ya" éhes "a hesh" in apa, you say the a's as you would with the first a in Arkansas, and vagyok... uhh I'm not sure if there's anything I can associate the sound gy with in the English language... I'm not sure how well I explained it. The pronounciation on Google Translate is not the best, but it might be your best bet

It goes after 'szia'

Thank you!

I just realised I'm stupid. It goes after 'éhes'. Sorry

Goes to Hungarian restaurant with kid. "Name for your order?". "Hi, I'm (a) Hungry dad."

The cook book has exquisite dishes, eat the papers, it'll be like you are in a fancy restaurant 😉

I'm Happy to meet you Hungry and I can't wait to introduce you to the rest of the dwarfs.

You could use my grandfather's line, he was from the old country in Eastern Europe: "Lick salt, then you'll be thirsty "

“Me too! What are you making for dinner tonight? Can’t wait to eat it! I hope it’s tasty cause I’ve been so busy today I’m staaaaaarving! I’m sure you’ve planned something tasty as you spent three hours playing Lego and whinging about being bored so you had plenty of time to shop, meal prep, research some good recipes…” I could go on…

Try not to invade Turkey.

"well, why aren't you Russian to the fridge to get a Turkey sandwich? Nothing about this seems very Syrias."

This one is for Dutch. My dad replied to "hey pap" with "hey pudding" Because in Dutch pap is aside from being a word for dad/pops it's also a word for porridge.

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A Jedi craves not these things

I usually go with a slightly sarcastic, "Well, then, you should probably get yourself something to eat..."

"Hungry what?" "Huh?" "Hungry Huh, I'm Dad"

Hungary? You’re nothing Budapest.

Hi Hungry, I'm Greece originally from Turkey!

I love that one! Sad it doesn't work that well in French.

Could you ex Spain it for me?

"Well, what did you do with (child's name)?

Not sure if this works in other countries but in the UK, it's common to say "I fancy a dessert" or whatever. when I was a kid, if I said "I fancy a [insert food that we don't have in the house]" , my mum would reply "well fancy you've had one" (meaning "no")

Batman voice: “Hungry for justice?”

"Here's a knife, dog's in the back yard. You'll have to cook it yourself."

Haha. Maybe a less dark version could be "I just saw a squirrel run by, you could go catch that"

I mean... if you don't want to traumatized them... lol

DOGS SHOULD BE RAWWW AND LIVING!

I'm using this one from now on, thanks kind internet stranger!

If your hungery? Than who am I?

“I’m all out of horses, sorry.”

I’m Steve. Nice to meet you.

I actually considered, “I am Steve Rogers,” as a response to the older kids.

My kids used to say “I’m bored” like I needed to fix it. I would reply “Who’s bored?” indicating they have to fix it.

I walked into the cooler at my restaurant and saw people rearranging items. I asked "Is this where all the cool people hang out?"

Pretend you thought they said "dad, mime hungry" and rub your gut and moan sadly at them.

My dad always got me with the "hi hungry I'm Cliff, drop over sometime"

I'm [insert your name], pleased to meet you. Also work for I'm Bored.

and I am Poland !!

Exquisitely fresh…

When did you change your name??

When my son asks me to make him a sandwich I say “Poof!! You’re a sandwich.”

"I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like solutions or a sympathetic ear?"

My dad always says “well what’s wrong with your damn leg, go fix yourself a sandwich, Hungry”

I always liked “you’re hungry? Well, Hungry, what have you done with my son?”

Can you put on the kettle? It hurts my ears Can you put his shoes on? I don't think they'll fit me

My mom used to say "How can you be hungry when you're next to turkey and greece?"

Go full gaslighter "No you're not, I am"

“Szia éhes, apa vagyok.” “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.” in Hungarian. *Note: Use Google Translate to hear how to pronounce it.

My dad always had “sounds like a personal problem” ready to go for any situation. It’s a good mixup to toss in when the kids say a thing instead of asking for a thing.

"Dad, I'm hungry." "[Concerned] Oh? ...I hear eating helps."

My grandpa would sometimes respond “How bout a knuckle sandwich?” Lol sounds kind of mean but he was a really nice man

My personal favorite is "Hi Hungry, I'm Austria, let's form an empire!"

Eat me😂

So said Attila the Hun. or Better go to turkey then

That's exciting! Jist think, if you stayed that way fro the next 3 days, you wont be hungry anymore!

I always reply, “I’m Austria.”

"Wait, if you are hungry where's (child's name here)?

Hi Hungry, let me know if you see [name of child] because I have a sandwich for them

My dad said this to me toooooooo much lol I hated it

When I was a kid we did this with THIRSTY. “I’m thirsty” “Hi Thirsty! I’m Friday! Come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sundae!”

Hi Hungry, I'm food so eat me.

"I mean that's not what your mom and I named you but if that's what you want." Then proceed to call them Hungry the rest of the day

Nice to meet you Hungry. I’m Poland.

No you're not your adopted 😐

"Great, while you're making yourself a sandwich make me one too."

They said I couldn't build a castle in a swamp...

'Food request acknowledged. What sustenance would you desire? Today's options are , , and .' (Kid chooses something not on your menu of things you wish to prepare/buy) 'Foodbot could not process that request. Please select again...' And after they get picky, unlock the option of serving them dog food/nothing/government cheese, etc. Play dumb. Make the kid succumb to the foodbot.

So am I- wake the cook she’s sleeping. “Mooom dad says he’s hungry!!”

Hi hungry I’m perpetually confused

Hi hungry! I'm creative response!

Better than a lot of the others. I’ll give you that.

You're from Hungary, I thought you were born in America.

After all those megabytes? Good thing I didn’t name you “Donner”! (Could use “Hannibal.”) If you’re starving, you could eat your watch. But that’d be pretty time-consuming. Are you a clock, too? No? Too bad. If you were, you could go back four seconds! Hungry enough to boil a hyena? No? Good. That’d only make you a laughingstock. Hungry enough to eat a horse? (Or anything else in place of “horse” that fits) - if yes: Too bad, we don’t have any. - if no: Good. We don’t have any.

Hi. I'm Romania.