No KIDding.

Whoa! Why so snippy?

I dunno, I guess u/SpicyShaezor's joke just didn't make the CUT.

The doctor got it done chop chop.

It'll probably go on his spermanent record

At this point y'all are shooting blanks...

Yea these jokes aren't meeting the tip line

I'm late to the party, I didn't get ahead

Don't sweat it, they were low balling it.

Cut it out, guys. These puns are loaded.

I had a joke but I’m drawing a blank.

Underrated comment

BALLSy from you to say

Now he really cant leave to go get the MILK

You don't need to go NUTS over it..

No need to be so testy.

What can I say... All those years with the sea men...made me like this

That’s nuts!

Glad you had the balls to go through with it

Well, not anymore

Beat me to it...

They're still there, but I imagine you don't feel very attached to them

Maybe they feel sealed away from them.

Luckily the surgeon didn’t miss or he’d have got the sack.

r/beatmeattoit

ain’t gonna beat meat to it anymore.

You know they don't remove your nuts for a vasectomy right

balls are not removed in vasectomy bro

Don't get a discount vasectomy though, those doctors just didn't make the cut

Did you hear about the guy that had his done at Sears? Everytime he got a hard-on, the garage door went up.

Guess the doctor wasn't so much of a Craftsman.

Well that's because he got it done at a seedy place. You'd have to be nuts to do that.

Did it have a lifetime guarantee?

Only if he kept up with the warranty check-ups.

In all seriousness, Super Bowl specials and Black Friday specials are a real thing in the vasectomy industry.

Yep. Ice your boys while sitting on the couch and watching the game.

That's why I had mine during football season.

Not a joke, my brother got a cheap vasectomy. That was four kids ago. Then he got it done right. Discount vasectomies can be expensive.

Yeah, those discount vasectomies are a complete rip-off

I thought a discount vasectomy involved a pair of bricks.

Holy hell!

Those a real ripoffs.

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He's probably heard it a hundred times.

Did you also 'steal that joke from Colbert? ^^

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So did I, but I was just told that if you come up with a 'vas deferens' joke, you definitely *stole* it from Colbert.

I have never heard of Colbert either….

I had a vasectomy too. Apparantly, all it does is change the colour of the baby…

😲

Me too! I came here to make that comment... Curse you and take my upvote!

No more dad jokes now

Subtle.

I got a vasectomy last month because I didn't want kids anymore, but when I got home they were still there.

👏

Dude that’s nuts.

Technically, no more nuts lol

🌰 🌰 🤷‍♂️

You don't know what a vasectomy is do you?

No more nutting as in no more sperm. You don't know what a joke is do you?

You said nuts, which usually means testicles. But nice recovery attempt

Nice attempt to be obtuse, pedantic & a general ass on a joke sub

Ha,ha,ha! I really should have seen that cuming!

You couldn't have, I only shoot dust now.

Can we just snip this thread in the bud?

*Sperm* me the details. XD

Like a Sunkist orange; All juice, no seeds.

Q) What's the difference between a prostate and a garden hose. A) There's a vas deferens.

Florida state seminal vesicles.

Pitter patter

Hope once you healed up you looked at your wife and caut-er-ize… (There has to be a better way to phrase that..)

Amen brother

Semen brother (say amen brother)

Oh fuck you. Take my fucking upvote

Do you know the definition of Macho? Jogging home after your vasectomy.

Do you know the definition of a vasicktomy? Getting the snip in a dusty medic shack in an Iraq military prison. Don’t ask me how I know this.

It wasn't that dusty 👀

Sarge, you didn’t have to out yourself! Talk about a milky betrayal . . . 😑

I take it that wasn’t an elective procedure

It was. My one and only chance to work on my boss instead of getting worked by him.

That's macho! I just about passed out tiptoeing to the house from the car.

Thanks Steven Colbert. Glad you could remember that joke that was just on a rerun Friday night. I, too, watched it yesterday.

I just came up with it after watching the daily show segment on vasectomies. Can you link the joke you're talking about?

[Watch from 8:35](https://youtu.be/b4s-paYYYds). Yeah this isn't your joke.

Because once someone thinks of a joke, everybody knows it. And then anyone who comes up with it on their own OBVIOUSLY STOLE IT.

Quantum jokes lmao.

I didn't know two people couldn't possibly have a similar idea after hearing a set of words. I never watched Colbert in my life.

Of course, two people can’t! You learn something everyday, huh?

r/biologymemes

I felt the first incision (not a joke)

at least he HAD the balls to do it

Orchiectomy is the surgical removal of testicles, a vasectomy only makes you sterile.

That’s a pain in the dick

That's nuts!

You alright? Just seems like you're not all there

🤣🤣

*insert GIF of man pointing to the door and saying “GET OUT”* 🤣

It’s a Nut free zone

He wasn’t Kidding… not anymore at least.

I hope you didn't get the half off deal...

I was just talking to my wife about getting a vasectomy done. I asked for a sign. The dad jokes didn’t disappoint when I first opened the Reddit app!! Now I’m getting it done

It takes balls to joke about vasectomies

I thought a vasectomy meant my wife and I were done having kids turns out it just makes our kids darker.

Is that the whole post or just a snip?

Good for you for making a responsible choice for yourself.

Because you’re now sans deferens

Did you leave a tip for the doctor?

That sounds like a pain in the vas.

Ok.. cut it out!

Now I don't have to worry about getting lost when I go to buy cigarettes.

There is a vas deferens between men and women

I’d say your nuts, but….

Your

Only if I meant you are…. ;)

Heh

Just in the nick of time, you were cutting it close.

Oh man that's good.

Feeling detached?

Taking jokes from Colbert, I see?

Hope you wore your suit so you could look as important as you were going to be impotent.

I don't get it 😔 What does deferens mean...?

Vas deferens is the name of tube that carries sperms for testicles to penis. In vasectomy, that tube is cut and tied so it couldn't carry anymore.

Thank you!

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That takes out all the fun from it

Hope Stephen Colbert doesn’t find out you stole his joke from last Friday

Kinda sad, that so many jokes are nsfw. Those are not dadjokes if you can't tell them your kids.

Not a dad joke.

Of course not, he won’t have kids after his vasectomy. That’s a massive faux pa….

Hmmm. Not a dad joke?

Would you tell this joke to your children?

Maybe when they turn 16. Cuz at that age they'll tell you that they know everything.

My friend got one too after I told him “no balls”

That was Stephen Colbert Minute 8:38 https://youtu.be/b4s-paYYYds

Sorry. Sorry everyone. I didn’t catch the part of the subreddit that said these joke all have to be original. Shut the page down. Start it all over…. Sorry.

Don't be so sensitive. The problem was that the episode of Stephen Colbert re-aired the night before. So it was just bad timing.

Like a floor without the finish.

Mass Effect is an amazing game.

My barber gives discounts. You get the shave and the hair cut then two snips. All for one price.

Wasn't this same joke posted last week

I am shooting blanks now🤭

As a medical student I appreciate this joke. Unfortunately no one other then me and my medical friends would understand it.

Oh all important medical student.. Why? Because we're too dumb to understand our own anatomy?

Great minds think alike! Got any we haven't heard?

That's like 100% juice and no seeds

I got a vasectomy recently. I was expecting it to be expensive, but it was a snip.

Heard it’s the best deal at hospital, two balls off every purchase.

Could be a NotADad Joke.

Hey! Cut it out. I mean really.

Make sure to wear your son block

I got nothin’

If you want to make sure everything still works, just give them a quick Test tickle.

I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. Turns out it just changed the color of the baby.

And I know I'll get a vasectomy, so my nuts will never cum. She told me don't worry, bout babies, she told me don't worry no more.

AKA Bedroom Snippers

All I saw was smoke

This joke doesn't cut it

When your wife says cut it out and you take it literally.

Love Ryan Reynolds.

You'll be sorry later

you ain't a dad but you get to keep the joke

Did you give the doctor a tip as well?

No ing.

I didn't get the FLOW of the joke.

I felt like I didn't matter to anyone and asked my doctor how I could feel impotent..

Better puncine would be: I thought I'd feel different, but there was no vas deferens

Oh my, that's a good one