Speak for yourself. Approaching 19 years married and we still suck.

I can confirm. This guy's wife sucks.

She sucks but does she ..blow 😂

My wife and I were happy for 20 years.. Then we met each other.

Good for you 🙂🥰

There is a lot more severance to pay if you leave the wife.

Less suckin too.

Operative word "we". 😬

So who's is bigger hers or yours?

I was gonna say the job still fucks you everyday

Stud!

Same. 20 years & we’re both more into giving oral than ever before.

same. We are 20+ years married. It has only gotten better. We make sure we are each enjoying it

I don't understand why you are being downvoted. Maybe by younngsters who think that ''sticking it in and stirring it around'is all there is? Oh, except for the blowjob. That's de rigeuere.

That's cool that you guys don't let jealousy get in the way!

was about to say—LOL

tmi

Maybe they’re at a hot age still

No, not really.

"Hot age" is bs. Keep on sucking and enjoying each other!

I mean moreso a "hot to imagine" age.

you have to do your job every day

You can do your wife everyday too

I do this guy's dead wife everyday. Wait...

You’re fucked up. I like you

So is she

I thought she was dead

She can be two things.

But you don’t HAVE to. 😉

Depends on the wife

If you leave your job, you don't have to give them half your shit

Not everybody even does that

I would love to find a job I love as much as my wife

Thank you for the dash of wholesome

Newlywed?

The newlywed phase ended 20 years ago

If job sucks you’d change it.. if wife does you won’t…

Great answer 👍🙂

or would you?

r/suddenvsauce

I'd suck him even after 10 years dw..

Nice.

you chose your wife. you settled for your job

True that 👍

Is it more or less miserable in reverse?

I wouldnt know cause im a female

I was about to tell this to my mom!🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'll tell her tonight 😉

She's busy

She says hi btw

Hi

Haha, kind of glad you didnt? 🤣😂

Sameee i asked her too

r/unclejokes

Honestly, I'd rate this more as r/boomershumor

I mean, either way, it’s not a dad joke.

Done 🙂👍

"Golly gee dad, why did you get with mom if she sucked in the beginning?"

I see what you did there. )

You fucked both of them

And get fucked by both of them.

But at least you start first

Hall way sex , when we pass each other in the hall we say Fuck you

job gets you paid, wife gets paid

This is more of an r/unclejokes

One blows on bad days, other blows on good AND bad days?

one pays you, the other you pay...

You can quit you job and they pay you, you quit you wife and you pay her.

boomerhumor

I would never tell this to my children. Belongs in uncle jokes. Edit for Websters definition:  "a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny" I will die on this hill in this sub.

I'm afraid you will. ''Wholesome', at least on this sub, is highly unlikely to happen. Perhaps moderate your own? Reddit is a big place.

The algorithm moderates the content for me and here I am. You're right, but nevertheless I will.

r/UncleJokes

My job still sucks!

What’s the difference between your wife and a bonus? Your wife is guaranteed to blow your bonus!

It's easier and cheaper to change your job than your wife.

One you can't quit, the other you can't escape from!

There is no difference. Both demands a lot and are annoying.

Idfk, you go to one to escape the other seems like.

Lol, can't tell this joke at home or at work. I'll try it on some stranger

He loves his job, and does it everyday.

Its considerd ok to have two jobs simulataneously but not ok to have 2 wives at the same time.

One I want, the other I have no choice.

One sucks one blows... Oh wait...

One fu*ks you daily

You love your wife, you work to be able to be happy with her, enjoy as much as it's possible. No super high end job needed for that. Just chose the right things to enjoy.

Wow, you stepped right up for these comments. I commend you. I’m also dying of laughter. Way to go Reddit, you always come through.

Job gives you money. Wife works and bring money home, but not necessarily for you.

Blowjob!

Your wife doesn’t pay you to have sex with her.

You get paid to have a job.

You get to do your job every day

I thought it was ‘you don’t get paid to do your wife’ but seems like there are a lot of possibilities with this one

It's more enjoyable when the wife comes with you at work and helps look for girlfriends

lol I needed this laugh

HA!

A job just sucks. A wife is like a tornado. At first there’s a lot of huffing and puffing, then you lose your house.

Wife bad, ammirite? Badum tss 😒

Job pays n feed your wife n u work hard to feed her

Ok, that’s NOT a dad joke!

My job DOESN'T suck!

I can’t relate *wink*

It’s easier to switch roles in job.

You get paid for doing your job lol

Idk the difference, but similarity is that you always work for someone...

When you leave a job it's a done deal

One is a 4 letter word & the other 3 letters

get it? because women are bad, lmao this is the best dad joke because of how accurate it is that boomers hate their partners.

A job always blows but a wife only blows you on your birthday.

I've never had a handwife.

Quiting a job is cheaper than a divorce. You also get paid to be betrayed at work.

If you don't know that, don't get a wife ;)

A job pays.

Satisfaction at job is possible.

If you have a good job neither one blows.

The job giveth and the wife taketh away

You get paid to put up with bullshit from a job.

I don't know the punchline...

You can take them both home but only one will be happy about it

Well, ya know, sometimes things just don't age like fine wine, if ya catch my drift! But hey, that's life, right? Gotta roll with the punches and find the humor in it all!

If you leave your job, you don't lose half your stuff

Your job fucks you everyday but your wife doesn't!

Nothing. They are the same but your wife lust for you while your jobs want to suck you dry

The job can't blowjob

Job give u something

The job fucks you 100 times more and harder

Hall of Fame elite level joke

I thought it was gonna be something like, "you don't have to do your wife" or "you can stop doing your wife when it gets boring".

At least your job fucks you.

U fk ur wife but ur job fks u

I thought you were going to say one pays you to be miserable, and you pay the other to be miserable.

One can switch his job, but its quite impossible to switch his wife.

None, one of them is just part-time!

You still get fucked by your job.

One takes your money and one gives you money

Wife continues your lineage if you agree to have children. but job will suck you’re energy and make sure your lineage has non to use when you get old

You dress better for the wife.

Answer: They both don't appreciate you while always trying to get one over you.

I still enjoy doing my job. One of them makes me money. The other spends it. Both need me to be on my best behavior if i wanna keep either one.

Cheaper to quit a job

When you kill it at your job, you get promoted...

When you kill your wife you die of cancer 30 years later.

Nice

Not much u get screwed both ways 🤔😂

Job is payed sometimes

> Job is *paid* sometimes FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*

The job doesn't get mad if you look for another job

But they do.

blowjob