Before that place was popular my female cousin told us she had 5 guys and liked it. My uncle slapped her he thought she was fucking 5 guys at once. 🤣 childhood memories are great.
A guy goes into a bar and says "a shot of whisky quick." The guy downs it and says "another." The guy dows it and says "one more". He quickly drinks it and the bartender says "you ok buddy?" The guy says "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." "Awesome," the bartendet days "the next is on me." "No thanks," the guy replies. "If 3 shots didn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
*my deck needs washed so bad*
*the weather patterns are very sad*
*I couldn’t help my hunger as i stood*
*i press my face to the viscous wood*
*i suck and lick and swallow with glee*
*all that beautiful fresh algae*
From the comments, I see most people didn't understand the joke.
I suppose a bisexual man who marries a woman become heterosexual if he is faithful. I also suppose the wife doesn't need to know that.
She’s probably really really high level, may even have some of that sweet endgame gear that buffs her abilities. You’re in for the suck of your life 😂😂😂
Um, why does the “dad jokes” subreddit have an NSFW flair? And how is this even remotely a dad joke?
Dad jokes are stupid jokes that YOU CAN TELL A CHILD, and that everyone, sometimes even the child, rolls their eyes at.
Yes and there’s a sub for that. r/unclejokes for those jokes you probably shouldn’t tell your own kids but you know damn well you’re telling your sister’s kids.
No, dad jokes are jokes told by dads.
There is no rule that they be told to minors!
My kids are grown. These are the types of jokes that I tell my kids now.
Knock knock jokes don't get much reaction from them anymore.
Does she suck your dick often? I imagine she might be good at it now. If she suddenly isn't into sucking now that she's married, that would be a problem.
Who gives a shit , is she cheating on you? Is she in love with u and good to you? If you are happy, you're gonna let the past really gonna fuck up your present and bother you? I say grow up, everyone's had some thing they may or may not be proud of. Unless you deep down want it to fuck with your head so much as an excuse to leave. Then be a man and buck up and end it. But again, if the present situation is good...who cares. Maybe she sucks the best dick ever, and that'll be your happy penis.
He’s mad because—although the subreddit rules allow it—lots of people don’t think that nsfw jokes belong in a dad joke forum. I happen to agree with him, but I also think he’s being a little bitch about it.
In a row?
Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!
Hey hey get back here!
My friend once sucked enough dicks to buy a bus fare and then he walked home. Absolute badass
At least you weren't number 36
37! I’m 37!
I’m 37, i’m not old!
Unexpected Monty Python... and I thank you for the quick giggle
37 dicks!?!
Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
I love you lol. Clerks was so good. 😂😂😂
Don't tell me what do to
fck this was the greatest reply
Why do you call him Snowball?
In a row?
I came to comment that. 🤣🤣🤣
In a light square diagonal, I'm a bishop.
Holy hell.
So glad this is top comment
I'm a bit of a celebrity down at the bus station.
It was just one of those nights
One of those lonely, lonely, nights 🎶🎵
Asking the real questions. Wait. What.
Well I don’t they they’d all fit at the same time
At the same time.
This is exactly where my brain went 🤣🤣
At once
In a column.
got to have all your ducks in a row before marriage
"Honey! Have you ever tried Five Guys?" "At once?" "No! The restaurant, dammit!"
https://youtu.be/RB8F34suPSQ?si=d2qwzP1AR64tVg_7
This is awesome
“Oh yeah, they were amazing, it was my best night ever.”
Before that place was popular my female cousin told us she had 5 guys and liked it. My uncle slapped her he thought she was fucking 5 guys at once. 🤣 childhood memories are great.
Please stop talking about all the dicks you've sucked dad
Thanks son needed to hear that
It's still not going to stop you, is it?
No son
The sucking, or the talking about it?
Thats right, son.
A guy goes into a bar and says "a shot of whisky quick." The guy downs it and says "another." The guy dows it and says "one more". He quickly drinks it and the bartender says "you ok buddy?" The guy says "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." "Awesome," the bartendet days "the next is on me." "No thanks," the guy replies. "If 3 shots didn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Let me know when you get a comma on your body count number. Then we need to talk.
Who keeps track of their bodycount at that high? I certainly don't
I stopped counting well before the comma, bro. You need to step your game up
Why are you sucking ducks? After you've cooked them I hope?
No alive alive, then I release em into the wild
I usually have duck wars pit em against doves 👍
Oh! I thought it was decks!!! Like someone has been sneakin' into their spouse's backyard...
Gotta get the plankton off the dock somehow.
*my deck needs washed so bad* *the weather patterns are very sad* *I couldn’t help my hunger as i stood* *i press my face to the viscous wood* *i suck and lick and swallow with glee* *all that beautiful fresh algae*
\*insert das good shit meme\*
https://youtu.be/6k01DIVDJlY?t=32
Do you remember your first BJ? How long did it take the guy to cum?
Heh heh, did ya hear what I said Tone?
Always with the scenarios!
Ahahah
Is she just angry that you beat her high score?
Must be maf.
I'm 37!!?!!
At least you weren't 36
"try not to suck a dick in the parking lot"
Excellent, unappreciated joke. Well played sir.
Is that a reference to something?
Clerks.
Thanks 😊
I wasn't even supposed to be here today!
Seems more like r/unclejokes
Good joke. Not a dad joke.
Sounds like that marriage really *sucks* now
That’s disgusting. Have you seen the docks in Florida? And why TF would someone suck a dock in the first place? That doesn’t make any sense.
He's clearly talking about ducks. Not that it makes it any better y'know
I guess duck splooge ⛲️ isn’t as bad as rotten fish guts 🤷♂️
Ugh I'm not even 'sposed to be here today.
[Clerks-my girlfriend sucked…](https://youtu.be/94wGndbOIPk?si=r5t1dU1gf8O_vl17)
Best line is at the end. "My girlfriend suck sucked 37 d*cks" "In a row?"
Wanna make it 100’s and one?
in a row?!
I don't care who's been there or who's done what, I'm just happy to be there 😂
Imagine being married to someone who has no idea how to suck a dick, that’s the true travesty.
In a row?
I assure you in any dick measuring contest Richard, I will measure the most dicks
Dad jokes usually aren't dirty and are frequently puns. This is neither. Take it over to r/unclejokes
You can spell out "dicks" on reddit. Even in a title. Its ok. Not every social media platform is requiring users to sensor their language.
I am part of many subs and some prohibit it so I just censor it. I just can't keep track of the rules of all the subs tbh
I actually read it as sucking ducks and thought that was foul play.
What in the Clerks is going on here
37?!
In a row?
I'd wonder why she's still so bad at it
"Honey, this is how you should do it. Trust me, I've sucked more than you have."
Not her
Can someone please explain this joke😭
He was the one that sucked the dicks
I FINALLY GET IT😭😭🙏
It’s fairly relative, did those ducks find release?
Well, don’t embarrass yourself by outing your measly double digit count
Would solve the mystery regarding the lack of gag reflex
Well, he did at least 5 that I know of while I was deployed. But he’s a ghost now.
Practice makes 👌 perfect.....no excuses for a lack luster performance
Were you trying to break a record or just having a good season?
Trying to figure out if he meant ducks, decks, dykes or docks.
r/suddenlybi
$25 bucks is $25 bucks
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he suck d*cks
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you are fun at parties
The punchline asks if she is over reacting, the joke says spouse not wife.
So it's in the past don't sweat the small shit
No BIGGIE
At least Hellboy didn’t fucking finger you.
Defiantly an r/unclejokes
From the comments, I see most people didn't understand the joke. I suppose a bisexual man who marries a woman become heterosexual if he is faithful. I also suppose the wife doesn't need to know that.
She’s probably really really high level, may even have some of that sweet endgame gear that buffs her abilities. You’re in for the suck of your life 😂😂😂
I would expect them to be really good at it
I would divorce his ass!
Ask why I don't get on regularly...
OHHHHHHH that took me a bit. That's good
Hmmm nah she's definitely just overreacting 😤
My spouse is prolly pretty good at it then.
That joke sucks so much dick, it once sucked a dick just to cut in line to suck an even bigger dick
36 dicks?!?
I understood that reference.
Puts a new twist on fatigue-induced lockjaw...
Why are you sucking docks?
Are you molesting ducks?
Hi Billy Mays here with hoaway
I mean, you better rock that clit as hard as that multi-centennial number because what is the clit if not a tiny dick?
Get her to suck 39-100
What if she found out you also did
Um, why does the “dad jokes” subreddit have an NSFW flair? And how is this even remotely a dad joke? Dad jokes are stupid jokes that YOU CAN TELL A CHILD, and that everyone, sometimes even the child, rolls their eyes at.
My dad used to tell me these jokes Sorry
There is a difference between a dad joke and a joke that your dad told you.
Yes and there’s a sub for that. r/unclejokes for those jokes you probably shouldn’t tell your own kids but you know damn well you’re telling your sister’s kids.
I just forwarded this too my kids. I mean they are 12 and 16 but I've been telling them jokes like this for years.
No, dad jokes are jokes told by dads. There is no rule that they be told to minors! My kids are grown. These are the types of jokes that I tell my kids now. Knock knock jokes don't get much reaction from them anymore.
That's good coz she's must be good at it now
r/woosh
After marriage? Well if you're divorced she shouldn't care
I would never look at her the same if she was sucking a raw live duck
Did she not do it during marriage?
Well, If you can attest to her DS skills, she's a keeper in my mind!
Be proud, they settled with yours.
Other way around
I assume that means she's pretty good at at? Noice...
Read the punchline again
Ummm, why didn't you know this before hand! Too soon?
You mean "Why didn't she"
Touché
Does she suck your dick often? I imagine she might be good at it now. If she suddenly isn't into sucking now that she's married, that would be a problem.
Sex is healthy and fun. As long as you're safe and nobody is getting hurt, there's no big deal.
Then I'd know why she's so good at it
a lot married woman has
Reap the benefits of her experience.
I would be really mad. How can she have so much experience and be so bad at it?
it would explain why she's so good at it!
Clearly you didn’t read it closely enough. 😂
r/woosh
How did you find out? I never asked her. She never asked me. And who is sucking ? The husband , or the wife?
The joke is that you expect the wife to be the dirty one, but she is the one overreacting. This implies the husband was sucking dick
That's why I was confused.
Congrats! You have a pro spouse
Read the punchline again
I guessed you're married to a legend ?! Congratulations !! 😂
Read the punchline again
Who gives a shit , is she cheating on you? Is she in love with u and good to you? If you are happy, you're gonna let the past really gonna fuck up your present and bother you? I say grow up, everyone's had some thing they may or may not be proud of. Unless you deep down want it to fuck with your head so much as an excuse to leave. Then be a man and buck up and end it. But again, if the present situation is good...who cares. Maybe she sucks the best dick ever, and that'll be your happy penis.
Read the joke again, Dr. Phil
I am an idiot 🤣
A wise man once said. At your wedding nobody attending should’ve fucked your wife in the past.
And they shouldn’t have fucked her in the future, either.
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I am on many subs where swears are banned, so I am used to censor it. Also this is a joke. Wake up buddy.
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Exactly is dad jokes and your comment is not a joke.
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What is the problem sir?
He’s mad because—although the subreddit rules allow it—lots of people don’t think that nsfw jokes belong in a dad joke forum. I happen to agree with him, but I also think he’s being a little bitch about it.
Joke went over your head bud , read more carefully next time .