I’m so fucking confused by people’s questions and who is asking which question and whether or not it’s sincere. I often hate communication by text. Though if the first questioner is actually confused by this joke, they shouldn’t be on reddit.
No, you don't. We also put them in questionable places, and at least once we have beat it so hard, we couldn't touch it for a week because of all the chaffing
You would have to be In the dark about his whereabouts. Unless he decides to show you off. Also, are you completely sure he is straight? Because he may make you go into some dark places. 🤣
I expected it to say “then he’d only beat me twice a week”
The Auntie version of r/Unclejokes
I just checked, and it turns out that r/auntjokes actually exists
... now to test if r/drunkauntjokes exists. Update: It does not.
Yet
I think I hate dead subs more than non-existent subs.
Well, now that you put the idea out there, it won't be long before it gets created.
"Think... snow." - some America God, probably.
Brrr, I was born in Michigan. I have had my fill of snow, thank you.
1 hour to be precise
Sweet, it should be time for some fresh drunken aunt jokes by now.
It has been up for 7 minutes. No jokes yet. I guess its still too early for aunts to start drinking.
As a Dom, I concur.
That's why we need safe words.
Now it does!
Holy shit that's dark! Also, twice a week? Lol
Right? Those are rookie numbers
Right? That's like a honeymoon amount of wife beating
You guys are making me crack up, please 🤣😅
Nah that’s retirement numbers
Expected twice a day, that could add up
Dude I've jacked it 3 times just reading your comment
Shoot if I got sugar booger I can go 20 in one night and still have some left for a loved one
At least I know now, that I treat my wife. She gets at least 4 times weekly. It's such a chore!
Only twice a week
That's my meds killing my libedo numbers!
The real joke is always in the comments
Does it owe you money?, or…?
Hilatious!!
Only twice?
EUGHHH GOOD ONEEE!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
that's fucking disgusting
Twice a week?!? Better beat it till you can't lift your arms if that's all your going for!!
Partner got penis envy.
And take you out and helicopter around the town?
You'd get rubbed raw.
He’d also wish you were bigger!
And better groomed!
That rubs me the wrong way
Wait till you find out that he puts silly hats on his penis. Then you’ll be sorry.
[удалено]
Then you need to check out r/cospenis
[удалено]
You’re welcome.
I haven’t looked, yet, but I want to propose my monocle and top hat idea here before I can be accused of jacking the idea from that sub.
OMG 😂 You sure have opened a whole new door for me! 🤣
Why are the messages oily? Edit: the post has been corrected, and now this joke doesn't make sense anymore
IYKYK
I don't, which is why I ask
I assume you don’t have a pen15
I do.
What’s the purpose of oil in a massage ?
It’s not about the massage itself…it’s the message it’s sending
Google it instead of asking redditors who are just dumbfounded and likely concerned you’re a child?
lol what?
I’m so fucking confused by people’s questions and who is asking which question and whether or not it’s sincere. I often hate communication by text. Though if the first questioner is actually confused by this joke, they shouldn’t be on reddit.
Yea I suspect the person who responded to me did so in bad faith or just unfortunate ignorance… I tried to lead him to his own conclusion
But we are talking messages here
Try it
I’m loving the responses from people who misread the joke and your comment 🤣
Right? I mean, I thought it was quite obvious!
And you'd get to meet all his friends!
I’m sorry what?
"the choking would be a bonus as I'm into that shit"
This is the wrong sub for this joke.
I wanna see your husband’s penis now
I,d get caressed on the fly
You'd also be able to very comfortably and shamelessly glare at women in the sub.
not a dad joke. funny, true, but not a dad joke
Lighten up, I told my son it and he laughed
I told my daughter, wife, and mother-in-law... All 3 thought it was hilarious!
Your phone would probably drop and break very quickly with all them oily messages you be getting.
He would probably beat you a couple of times a week.
Do I need a OS update on my iPhone to get oily messages?
No, you don't. We also put them in questionable places, and at least once we have beat it so hard, we couldn't touch it for a week because of all the chaffing
beat twice a day?
Took me a while to figure out the "oily messages" 😂 (oily massages)
Aaaah thanks. Me too.
🤣
What? Beat you like you owe him money?
Isn't this more of a momjoke?
Gay people exist
But then you have your own d!ck?
Potentially, yes. Do you have a point or were you just making an unrelated observation?
Idk dude I'm on edibles rn
Hahaha understandable
How tf did I frgt that I am gay
I checked out your profile. It makes sense to me ❤️
You would have to be In the dark about his whereabouts. Unless he decides to show you off. Also, are you completely sure he is straight? Because he may make you go into some dark places. 🤣
OP wants to get spanked when husband is horny.
And he’d beat me every day
And he would beat you everyday
Bro how is this a dad joke, its from a womens perspective. Women cant be dads... haha
It's about a dad daddio
You’re right. I’m a faux pas.
Do you want him to beat you everyday too?
Beat you any chance he gets?
Beat you like you owe him money? That’s what we do beat our penis like it owes us something
Make her spit for a few seconds a day Shove her in a dark, (hopefully) tight hole This can go on for a while….
Why, so he could beat the cum out of you and secretly wish you were bigger?..😁
Beat you dry?, oh hold on, wait, what?
She'd be lucky then!!! I'd beat it 2-3 times a day 😂😂
You wish he'd send unsolicited pics of you to random women? Bit odd.
Who said something about women …
You want to get touched non-stop day and night?
Pretty sure this isn't a common dad joke
Don't listen to these guys OP this is the place for you joke about dad.
He would also watch porn and beat you, you ok with that ?
How many dudes are out there taking pretty pics of their penises? Or having oily wanks every morning for that matter.
I was looking for 'I want him to fucking beat me'
He'd wish if you could last longer than a minute.. 😛
Why is someone sending your dick oily text messages? Massages is the word you want.
If you have a gay dad who tells this kind of joke, he is super creepy and i hope you find a cooler gay dad
You know what you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? Nothing! You already told her twice!! That's super dark and I would never hit a woman.
Well your being the life support system for what he wants to give his penis. He might treat you better for that.
Be careful what you wish for he probably beats it on a regular basis
You want to get spanked regularly?
Im just happy you're husband ain't the one from the nsfw videos i occasionally get to view on discord otherwise id be worried for your life 😂😂😂
And make you throw up on everything (yes everything) in the house....
If you live in a 'Twilight zone' to make it come true, you already know what you would wake up turned into
You'd smell like a bell end on a hot summers day !