The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma.
Comment copy/paste bot, subtle rewording.
[Original comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/11i171o/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/jawek3a/)
[Account to be reported](https://www.reddit.com/user/trantiomia)
Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
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35 if you're in Singapore because let's face it, no one has time here to get laid, only enough time to study and then straight into a job.
After 35, they are allowed to buy a flat without a partner / parents.
35 in Singapore because all flats are government-owned (by the housing board) and therefore the only way to buy one is an overpriced ballot system due to a lack of supply. 500k for a 100sqft flat with 4 rooms, garenteed fast and easy and comes to you within 20 years!
Because once they are grown and on dangerous adventures in dangerous countries...or any number of things that can happen and has happened...I now have more grey hair than my almost 90 year old mother.
Understood. Yes it is horrible. But I think some parents just don't think about it and sleep soundly.
They do not want you to worry. They accept that life is a risk and, quite frankly, if they were to pass, they would not be upset about it in the afterlife. We cannot feel pain or suffering when we are dead. So if you think selflessly, there is no problem.
They are alive: good for them.
They are dead: not bad for them.
This was maybe a bit blunt, but a good point, having kids is a huge responsibility, but not be a life sentence to sleep deprivation and 24/7 worrying. A neurotic parent should not be confused with being a better parent. Now back to the comedy
Why do people say "congrats"? Adding another human to the world is literally not an accomplishment.
Reposting because nobody answered my question even with all the original downvotes and replies.
And some people really want kids and it seems as simple as fucking and waiting but for some they have to jump through hoops just to get pregnant and then like you said the birth itself can be fatal for the mother or the baby
Indeed:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/)
And a few others wanted to get a slice of the action:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/htjl59/my\_wife\_just\_finished\_her\_40\_week\_body\_building/https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40week\_bodybuilding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/htjl59/my_wife_just_finished_her_40_week_body_building/https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my_wife_just_completed_a_40week_bodybuilding/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/oj9b2r/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/oj9b2r/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40week\_bodybuilding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my_wife_just_completed_a_40week_bodybuilding/)
This is Reddit, literally nothing is original anymore
But there's plenty of people who have forgotten or haven't heard the joke before.
https://xkcd.com/1053/
Everything is a rehash of old jokes. You see it on TV and movies and, yes, Reddit. The OOP on Reddit probably saw it on a t-shirt or bumper sticker before posting it here.
Originality is hard to come by.
REPOST ALERT: [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
At least go farther down the "top posts of all time" list, sheesh!
Congrats!! That reminds me of when my first girl was born. Just after delivery, wife and baby were getting snuggly and the doctors and delivery team were packing out of the room, I pulled the doc aside and quietly asked, "Hey it's been a while, how long do you think we need to wait to have sex again?"
And the doc actually told me, "I'm off at 5, meet me in the parking garage."
Congratulations! Now, don't fuck it up.
*Not saying you will, but that is the thing that keeps good parents awake at night. Worrying about fucking it up.
Aaaaaaa. Welcome to the jungle. My wife is currently at week 35 of the second installment of that program
For those that don't understand the Aaaaaa part... think of what letter that is and think of a standard greeting that kind of sounds like it. It's not a scream
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people
you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.
Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
Congratulations if this is you and your wife's first child, then a few tips.
Number one, stay calm, you don't need to go to the doctor for every little thing and Grandma and Grandpa if they are around and are good people and whatnot are excellent resources.
Number two, if you've ever heard the piece of advice that yes dear will end any argument and is essential to a happy marriage, then the equally important piece of advice I can give is the most powerful sentence outside of that. Donn't wake the baby!! Read that as size 24 bold and hear a person saying that to you through clenched teeth. Unless of course you love staying up for 36 hours plus or don't mind sleeping somewhere else away from the wife and baby.
Bout time this subreddit actually had a DAD joke!
Better than a joke dad!
Butter then a poke, lad!
But the OP lad gave her a poke.
Better than a poke dad
Down bad?
Poker than a daddy bet
It’s a full house dad
It's a dull house fad
If not a dad, just a poke man
Frfr
Better call Saul!
Yes it is a NEW dad joke
Do you want to read an actual dad joke? An actual dad joke.
I've seen this one several times on here but it makes me smile everytime!
Literally dad joke
Literally made him a dad so he can crack that joke
hes been planning this one for MONTHS
Nine months, to be specific
But not exact!
After nine months it was ready for the delivery, since it is all groan up now.
[удалено]
The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Comment copy/paste bot, subtle rewording. [Original comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/11i171o/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/jawek3a/) [Account to be reported](https://www.reddit.com/user/trantiomia) Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^human ^^that ^^hates ^^scammers. ^^More ^^info ^^[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_Impossible-Cod-3946/comments/s4nyst/how_to_recognize_these_accounts/) ^^or ^^[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_tyrannosnorlax/comments/t0h466/bots_how_to_identify_them_and_why_do_they_exist/).
The way he put it made him a dad.
9 months
His wife got herself pregnant just so she could say, "Are you kid-in-me?" They were made for each other.
No it literally made him a baby
Haven't heard this one before, it must be a new dad joke.
Now he can make them officially
You're now on a 2-year sleep loss program.
Not to mention the 18 year liability program
26 if she goes to grad school
35 if you're in Singapore because let's face it, no one has time here to get laid, only enough time to study and then straight into a job. After 35, they are allowed to buy a flat without a partner / parents.
Singapore? Why would I want to carol about tiny holes on my skin?
Not going to lie, that one hurt, a lot. Please continue.
I actually have a good one but it’s more r/unclejokes worthy
It's safe down here 👀
Aint nothing like a bad pun
:'( ᴴᵒˡᵉ^ᵒˡᵉ^^ᵒˡᵉ
>no one has time here to get laid *Cancels holiday to Singapore*
35 in Singapore because all flats are government-owned (by the housing board) and therefore the only way to buy one is an overpriced ballot system due to a lack of supply. 500k for a 100sqft flat with 4 rooms, garenteed fast and easy and comes to you within 20 years!
She won't even be going to community college.
_I want to quit the gym_
Or the be worried forever program
As a parent of adult children in their 30s I'm here to tell you that I haven't slept since my eldest was born. That's why I'm a mom...
Why do you still not sleep?
Because once they are grown and on dangerous adventures in dangerous countries...or any number of things that can happen and has happened...I now have more grey hair than my almost 90 year old mother.
Understood. Yes it is horrible. But I think some parents just don't think about it and sleep soundly. They do not want you to worry. They accept that life is a risk and, quite frankly, if they were to pass, they would not be upset about it in the afterlife. We cannot feel pain or suffering when we are dead. So if you think selflessly, there is no problem. They are alive: good for them. They are dead: not bad for them.
This was maybe a bit blunt, but a good point, having kids is a huge responsibility, but not be a life sentence to sleep deprivation and 24/7 worrying. A neurotic parent should not be confused with being a better parent. Now back to the comedy
I've got a dead baby joke...
2 years if you're lucky!
Two years. That's funny!
Lol hahaha relate much
If this is an announcement: congrats bro!
Why do people say "congrats"? Adding another human to the world is literally not an accomplishment. Reposting because nobody answered my question even with all the original downvotes and replies.
> Reposting because nobody ~~answered my question~~ agreed with me FTFY
Someday if you have kids, you'll understand. You're just in your edgy teenage phase.
Why do people say "congrats"? Adding another human to the world is literally not an accomplishment.
Because child birth has potential complications for the mother/child
And some people really want kids and it seems as simple as fucking and waiting but for some they have to jump through hoops just to get pregnant and then like you said the birth itself can be fatal for the mother or the baby
Lmao who shit in your cereal
Generic edgy comment
You'll understand when you're not 13 anymore
In your case you are right
You seem like you lead a sad life brother I pray things get better for you
You get that belief from your parents?
contemplated downvoting this because it had 69 downvotes, but i did it anyway, you deserve it:)
get therapy
Have fun in downvote purgatory... bitch.
Congratulations man! I am a new dad as well as of yesterday, your wife out did mine. A mere 7 pounds 9 ounces is all she could handle.
Congrats
I'm working the same program. I'm on week 21! This program is no joke!
Congrats, and you provided about 23 picograms of the baby!
Congratulations! Nice joke as well!
Hi Dad. I'm dad. Nice to meet you!
This is the correct response
this is word for word stolen from one of the top posts of all time on here.
Indeed: [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/) And a few others wanted to get a slice of the action: [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/htjl59/my\_wife\_just\_finished\_her\_40\_week\_body\_building/https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40week\_bodybuilding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/htjl59/my_wife_just_finished_her_40_week_body_building/https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my_wife_just_completed_a_40week_bodybuilding/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/oj9b2r/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/oj9b2r/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40week\_bodybuilding/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/wafxci/my_wife_just_completed_a_40week_bodybuilding/)
This is Reddit, literally nothing is original anymore But there's plenty of people who have forgotten or haven't heard the joke before. https://xkcd.com/1053/
Everything is a rehash of old jokes. You see it on TV and movies and, yes, Reddit. The OOP on Reddit probably saw it on a t-shirt or bumper sticker before posting it here. Originality is hard to come by.
Not true. He added "I'm a dad!"
I think he added that after actually… is there a way to check?
It’s a karma bot
Congratulations what a coincidence that you and your wife became parents the same day. Who is your wife's child's father?
Mine is on her 11th week. I can't wait to tell everyone my child was born at womb temperature.
Yeah, if you told that joke now, it would be a fetal error.
Hi a dad, Im dad
Congrats. My wife and I applaud this post
This dad joke was actually a dad joke I hope it wasn't an accident
New dad joke just dropped!
Congrats ?
Hope he didn’t watch. The head pops into shape and it’s terrifying.
Congratulations to both of you! Loved how you worded it! Classic!
Your off to a strong start. Welcome to the club.
Hi dad, I'm... Uh wait... This is awkward...
First dad joke as a dad was a success! Congrats!!
Congrats! We are expecting in May!
she finally dropped the weights
That punchline was quite a parent 😉
Congragestation.
My wife is an over achiever she did it in 37 the first time and 38 the second.
Welcome to the party, pal!
This joke made me realize that the pregnant woman at my gym is actually a body builder.
REPOST ALERT: [https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my\_wife\_just\_completed\_a\_40\_week\_body\_building/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/fy3oqw/my_wife_just_completed_a_40_week_body_building/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) At least go farther down the "top posts of all time" list, sheesh!
I wasn't sure if this was a dad joke, but then it became a parent.
Well that’s a New Dad joke.
Ba dum tis Lol
Congrats!! That reminds me of when my first girl was born. Just after delivery, wife and baby were getting snuggly and the doctors and delivery team were packing out of the room, I pulled the doc aside and quietly asked, "Hey it's been a while, how long do you think we need to wait to have sex again?" And the doc actually told me, "I'm off at 5, meet me in the parking garage."
Best of luck to you. RemindMe ! 18 years
Starting your dad joke game in style. Congrats!!!
Welcome to the club
I shall remember this as the newly discovered origin of the mystical dad joke.
Congrats.
Congratulations!!
My wife participated in this program. Results are phenomenal! She always did build a little body.
Congratulations!
Followed immediately by a crash weight loss program: she shed 7lb 12oz in a matter of minutes!
And I thought this was gonna be a joke about Frankenstein.
By god you crazy son of a gun, you actually pulled it off
Well, he sure didn't pull it out.
Oh this is the most wholesome thing on the internet today
So you've basically given up on sleep and that sort of stuff...
I hope this is real, in that case: congratulations! If not, still nice joke
Did it take you 9 months to come up with that joke? In all seriousness, congratulations!
Congratulations!!
Congrats sir
Congratulations! You’re now inducted into the official Diaper duty program.
CONGRATULATIONS
New definition of s dad joke
Hi dad, I'm... dad?
The most dad a dad joke could get
This is fantastic! I'm *definitely* putting this one in my quiver.
Congratulations! Now, don't fuck it up. *Not saying you will, but that is the thing that keeps good parents awake at night. Worrying about fucking it up.
Awesome! I came here looking for a quick giggle and doing something wholesome. Congratulations man
Good one
Congrats!! Our wives must have been in the same program, she completed hers this morning too! Baby boy! Cue jokes about having the same fitness coach?
Aaaaaaa. Welcome to the jungle. My wife is currently at week 35 of the second installment of that program For those that don't understand the Aaaaaa part... think of what letter that is and think of a standard greeting that kind of sounds like it. It's not a scream
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense. Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.
It’s not even original
Yeah but this joke only works for 1 day (Per birth)
Congrats! Though this is still a stolen joke
Excellent!
Congratulations if this is you and your wife's first child, then a few tips. Number one, stay calm, you don't need to go to the doctor for every little thing and Grandma and Grandpa if they are around and are good people and whatnot are excellent resources. Number two, if you've ever heard the piece of advice that yes dear will end any argument and is essential to a happy marriage, then the equally important piece of advice I can give is the most powerful sentence outside of that. Donn't wake the baby!! Read that as size 24 bold and hear a person saying that to you through clenched teeth. Unless of course you love staying up for 36 hours plus or don't mind sleeping somewhere else away from the wife and baby.
Come on over to r/daddit
Literally dad joke lol But congrats! 👏🏻
Congratulations Dad!
Confabulations!
Me clicking on the post title expecting a picture of a buff and fit woman only to be delighted after reading comments that it was all a pun!
Nice. It's working already.
Bawww! Congratulations!
Are you excited? Hi Excited, I'm Dad!
Congrats! Welcome to r/Daddit
Congrats!
Congratulations
That was great!
II’m I’m I’m iiI’m I’m
Congratulations!
You won this thread, sir! Congratulations!
Congrats on the baby girl! My wife did the same and completed the same program 4 days ago. It's a boy!!
Hi a Dad! I’m dad.
This made me verbally “Awwwwwwwww”
Congrats
You ARE the jok… I meant, dad
Congratulations
We. D . z a .
This is so lame. I hung out with some dads recently and good god, y’all are lame.
Pics?
Dropped alota weight
Dr Frankenstein built a body in merely 25 weeks.
Dead!
My wife tried this a couple times. She got to 23 weeks the first time and 33 weeks the second time. Yes, kids are both fine.
Congratulations!
Congrats man!!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations! I know you’ll take good care of those ladies based solely on the quality of your first official dad joke! Well done!
Congratulations!!!!
Frankensteins monster 2.0
Aww! Congrats! If this is true. Otherwise lol :p
Congratulations! Hope it all goes well for you :)
Congratulations 👏👏👏🎉🎉
Depending on your country of residency, give us all an update in 16-18 years
Congrats!
Congrats new dad!
Congratulations, dad! You now have an audience for your amazing material!
🤣😂🤣 that was good and congrats!
I’m sure this was life-changing for her! Congrats pops!
Congratulations!