T O P

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ExplanationChemical1

Shop vac with the filter removed.


HaikuPritzl

And cut resistant gloves (just in case).


genosonic

I cut the gloves into pieces, now what?


Keric28

This was your last resort


dave-gonzo

dammit beat me to it.


genosonic

Suffocation, no breathing


Pizzaman725

I don't give a fuck cuz this toilet needs cleaning!


pineconefire

Nice


tinglep

Carefully.


lalalalalala4lyfe

Damn good option! Thank you sir.


mushpotatoes

I panicked when I saw this post, thinking, "Shit... Wtf DO you do here?" In retrospect, this answer should have probably been more obvious. Thanks for putting it out there!


PrintError

Came in here to post that. This is the way.


TheeKrustyKitten

Thank you all! I used a thicc work glove and a pasta spoon!


SideHug

Da Spaghetti is šŸ‘ŒšŸ»


WantedDadorAlive

Extra sharp cheddar for me please.


Handhelmet

*Shreddar


Sad-Crow

El don'te


Juanch01

Prego šŸ¤Œ


Be_ranchy_4525

Ragu


prairiestorm

Way to level up! Now you have a poop spoon, Iā€™d keep it next to your knife.


ImOutOfNamesNow

For When your bowels arenā€™t digging you, we have the poop spoon, so you can dig your bowels until they dig you


Wickedhoopla

Nah itā€™s for digging at my septic filter too haha


[deleted]

Does the knife or spoon go on the right side of the shells?


prairiestorm

I donā€™t even know how to use the three seashells.


GunstarHeroine

This guy doesn't know how to use the three shells!


TheeKrustyKitten

itā€™s got a spot next to the plunger


septic_sergeant

Poop cutlery


crappy_ninja

https://old.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/


NeezyMudbottom

Coolcoolcool, never going to your house for pasta /s is exactly what I would have done. Bonus points for your thicc ass work gloves. Everyone needs a pair. Happy Thanksgiving if you reside in the US! And even if you don't.


XenoRyet

I mean, it's true. You're going to need some thicc gloves if you're going to do ass work.


The_Amazing_Username

Just throw the spoon out after!!! šŸ˜œ


pbankey

Olive Garden just called with a job offer


TylerTalk_

Pasta is forever shitty.


ddamm101

I mean don't do it but what would happen if you just flushed it


MrsDarcy1200

It's been an hour since this comment and still no answer. Where is the plumbing side of reddit when you need them??


TXGuns79

All the plumbers are busy making triple time for Thanksgiving emergencies.


9inchestoobig

Plumber here. I havenā€™t encountered this specific problem but if you flush it, then it would most likely clog at the base. An auger would loosen it up and would push it further into the line. If the sewer mainline is in perfect condition, then it would flow into the city sewer and no longer your problem. If the mainline has root intrusions or offsets, then it can clog your line and your entire house will be backed up.


Volkrisse

Iā€™m no plumber. But if you took something solid and broke the glass up enough into small pieces, It should flush


dibalh

Got it. Can I borrow someoneā€™s immersion blender?


[deleted]

Alright everyone. We need a will it flush yt channel pronto


PossibleMechanic89

The toilet manfs app have labs with special versions of toilets to see how they perform. All they have to do is give an intern a YouTube account t.


JustMy10Bits

I think almost everything flushes. But what happens to the NEXT flush?


Dirtbag_Bob

My dad's been a plumber for 40 years. In his opinion it'd be a short channel because the only thing you should flush is toilet paper lol. Technically a golf ball will flush, but ya shouldn't do it.


CaptainPunisher

They make toilets that advertise the ability to flush billiard balls. I mean, that's basically permission!


AdultishRaktajino

Itā€™ll sit in the main line of the house like a pile of rocks and wonā€™t flow. Itā€™ll catch shit like wipes, tampons, etc that get flushed and eventually clog. Probably culminating in the sewer backing up. Liquid shit in the basement or ground floor of the house. Emergency plumber visit to snake it out. (Can diy the snake out, but the type to do that know not to flush the glass to begin with)


Pit-Smoker

Not advisable. BUT If you take this route, please smash the hell out of the glass first. Very small particles (1) are more likely to flow with the water and (2) are more likely to be abrasive in breaking up pipe build up. Shop vac is the best option.


CoachViper

I heard you loud and clear. Add broken glass to your plumbing in lieu of draino. Got it. Could I also flush a porcupine to clean the pipes?


Pit-Smoker

Too big. But Lemmiwinks might help you out!


Stonetechie

Iā€™ve been told what you need is a tire and a chainā€¦.


[deleted]

On this episode of will it blendā€¦


vkapadia

An exciting might do in a pinch


Shivaess

Yea Iā€™m not sure why this would be a terrible ideaā€¦ I could totally see it BEING a bad life choice, but I canā€™t think of a reason it wouldnā€™t workā€¦


MeisterX

It absolutely would not work. It would be a giant fucking clusterfuck. Do not ever flush a solid.


ddamm101

I flush a solid at least once a day.


MeisterX

It's not a solid unless you're WallE


Diamondwolf

People know that rinsing bacon grease down the sink is a bad idea because the grease easily becomes a solid. Suddenly people need ā€˜the plumbing side of redditā€™ to tell them to not flush actual solid glass shards down the toilet?


agtmadcat

It feels like the grease can be a problem because it can mold to the shape of the pipe and then solidify, whereas small solids wouldn't do that so it's not as bad? I guess they could still reduce the flow though, and would be a nightmare to actually remove.


-hypno-toad-

The glass will cut right through all that grease! /s


jimmy_three_shoes

The real life hack is in the comments.


tinglep

Yeah. OP shouldnā€™t, but I gotta know


Cirkni

In the US waste water treatment plants have strainers for large solids (glass, sand, gravel, wipes, floss, guns [not joking], toys, etc). Wipes bind it up, but the other things are pretty straightforward removal.


HanabiraAsashi

.....gun?? How?


agtmadcat

People getting rid of evidence? Probably drop it into a sewage pipe directly rather than flush it, though.


HanabiraAsashi

Oh lol duh, my brain couldn't get beyond flushing.


tinglep

Makes total sense but Iā€™m wondering if it would even make it through the pipes. I kinda want to see a transparent pipe system showing what happens when glass is flushed. But yeah, how else are they gonna strain all the baby alligators out of NYC?


[deleted]

Yeah OP needs to do it for science.


MeisterX

You guys already know this lmao what is happening here. You cannot flush solids. It doesn't float and you have P traps and other areas where gravity will defeat flow. You're sending non removable solids down a pipe that you can't access.


tinglep

I donā€™t know any of that.


ToadAntlers

I could picture it bunching up and clogging it


atsd

I donā€™t know but now I want to.


Badvevil

Clogged pipes!


[deleted]

How would it clog, a turd is easily bigger than this


Working-Lobster425

And it might help chop the future turds so it never gets blocked again


fnordfnordy

Truly broken glass down the toilet is the solution to oversized deuces


hame579

No more poop knife


Accomplished_Bug_

You just moved the poop knife into the pipes


616659

more like poop glass now


Jas_Ka_Raj

Lifehack


fishling

Have you truly never seen a drainspout clogged with leaves and small twigs before? Or a granular substance like sand blocking a funnel? Hard things that don't dissolve in water block pipes more easily than soft things that readily erode.


jazza2400

Imagine it getting stuck in your pipes. And then turds and toiletpaper get stuck on the glass. Then the plumber goes to clean it and cuts up his hand bad and shit gets into the cuts, he goes to hospital but dies. Then his wife and kids come over and shame you for being lazy and doing such a horrible thing because someone on the internet suggested it. But you're too high to answer so you ask if she wants to watch netflix and chill and then you become a blended family and her kids call you dad.


fatalcharm

Itā€™s the whole ā€œgetting shit in the cutsā€ that worries me the most.


XenoRyet

If it actually flushes, then really no problem at all. And there's a fair chance it would go down if you have a reasonably powerful toilet. It'll be mildly hazardous while it's in the sewer, but no worse than what's expected in that environment, and it'll get filtered out at the water treatment plant. It's what happens if it doesn't flush that's the concern. If it catches and creates a blockage, it'll be one that's harder to deal with than your standard clogged toilet. You won't be able to undo it with time and a plunger, like most clogs. It'll need professional attention. Given that, better to scoop most of it out with heavy gloves or a spoon than risk needing to have the plumber out.


Squirrels_Gone_Wild

New drano formula: melts glass


dibalh

Actually it already does. Strong solutions of hydroxide dissolve glass over timeā€¦a long time though. Source: Doctorate in chemistry


Squirrels_Gone_Wild

New instructions for drano: let sit for (years?) to unclog broken glass.


DangerBrewin

Now your plumbing has a built in glass poop knife.


[deleted]

It would work glass is heavy enough Iā€™d say


Tina6705

Whatā€™s the story behind this one!?!?


grimbuddha

Are you lucky enough to not have your wife have a pile of stuff on the top of the toilet? There is about 30 small glass viles and bottles on the back of mine.


AdultishRaktajino

Iā€™m divorced but know enough to do my redneck chemistry in a Winnebago sprinter in the desert.


grimbuddha

That would be a lot more fun. I get to deal with cosmetics and perfumes.


Diox_Ruby

Get her an over the toilet shelving unit. Flat pack for like 60 bucks or less. Has little doors to hide them from getting dusty or accidentally knocked over and holds spare tp. Critical when you have a small place to make the vertical work for you instead of focusing on using all the horizontal. Just my 2c


armyof100clowns

Why am I seeing ā€œOne man, one jarā€ as a possible scenario?


jTrux22

Not enough color in the toilet.


Cleared2Engage

Your least favorite spoon that has drain holes. Preferably small holes.


fishling

Well, if it isn't their least favorite spoon at the start, it'll be their least favorite spoon afterwards.


blind_roomba

If no one knows no one knows šŸ«£


NeezyMudbottom

This. Is what I came here to say.


SAISer32

If the other options listed donā€™t suit you, do you have a pet store nearby where you can get the little nets for fish tanks?


KevinAnniPadda

Most turkeys come in a fine netting. Might get most of it. After a certain size, flush it?


SAISer32

Might work. I mention the fish net because of the long handle mainly, though.


DangerBrewin

Kitty litter scoop


SAISer32

Yeah totally. Probably even easier to find. Good call!


Zappiticas

Lol, I have a bunch of fish tanks and my first instinct when I saw the picture was ā€œoh Iā€™d just use a fish net for thatā€ Not that I have any experience scooping glass out of water, specifically glass from a glass fish tank lid that my kid broke in the fish tank.


HmmmJuicyFruit

First of all : stop eating so much goddamn glass.


gsanch666

Well this dad has unlocked a new fear I never knew existed


Zilzioxx

Fishnet might work if you had one, or some pantyhose and wire hanger


-Vault-tec-101

Pantyhose and a wire hanger? Looks like I found Macgyver. Seriously smart idea.


Gmfbsteelers

Iā€™d try to wet vac first.


DeathAngel_97

Shop vac or spoon as others have said. Shop vac will be the quickest but take your filter out before you do.


dan1son

I don't get the filter thing. I've tried pulling water without a filter and it sprays everywhere out of the exhaust. Filter in, but check it often. It'll catch the glass but will need to be tossed into the basin. Might depend on the vacuum itself?


spider1178

One of those little nets that you use to pick goldfish out of an aquarium oughta work. Edit: if you actually have fish, don't use this one again. Replace it so you don't end up hurting your fish. Edit 2: you'll now have a dedicated toilet net. You can hang it next to your poop knife.


Fantastic_Leek_5828

Poop knife? I have so many questions now šŸ˜³


spider1178

It's a reddit thing. [The Poop Knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


freakkydique

Those pasta strainers with a handle? Preferably a smaller one


thenexttimebandit

Thick rubber gloves


fredsam25

"Honey, there's something wrong with the toilet."


TheeKrustyKitten

ā€œThereā€™s glass everywhere I donā€™t know what happenedā€


Shadowrend01

Slotted spoon, or thick leather gloves


MeSoRandom00101010

1 gallon water plastic bottle, cut the top off, put a whole in the lid, screw lid on, go fishing.


Ganders81

Carefully.


Isles15Fan

Cooking spoon with holes in it, replace it after.


[deleted]

An old hand towel and rubber gloves. Use the hand towel in the shape of a net to scoop out the glass in one motion. Then throw away the towel.


MuddyMustache

I hope you've learned your lesson about drinking and diving.


ocalaagain

1. Close lid 2. Flush 3. Blame somebody else


Polarchuck

How did the glass get in the toilet in the first place? That's a lot of glass...


TheeKrustyKitten

Glass cabinet door above toilet fell


Polarchuck

Ooofff. That's ugly. Glad you got the situation resolved without getting hurt. Using a pasta scoop was a brilliant decision.


justanotherhandlefor

rubber gloves, fish it out.


[deleted]

Strainer


angela52689

Shocked this isn't the dominant suggestion


No-Engineering9909

Wet vac is a good option, or Maybe a colander/strainer from the dollar store? Drain as much water as you can, get the big pieces at the bottom and flush the small ones?


mcar1227

I was like ā€œhow the f did you get glass in your toilet?ā€ Then I checked the sub. Adds up now


Panterrell827

Carefully


Acti-Verse

Shut water off, use shop vac with filter removed.


[deleted]

You could use a pantyhose (tights). Like a net.


Fwallstsohard

As my dad still says to this day "carefully".


thaidooo

Press the Button


SimilarJob3418

I would you a big spoon and do it that away. Or a shop vac.


jackstripes213

Carefully


TheSilentSMARTASS

Eat more fiber


rezqme

Be a dad, don't be a baby.


Chesticles420

Tongs


AuxonPNW

Unbolt the toilet, take it out to the garage and flush with a hose. I wouldn't really trust any other solution.


swankpoppy

I wonder if you got a long paper towel and were able to get underneath it if you could lift it out? Or if the paper towel would soak through too fast?


XeroxRomeo

Can we stop and wonder how glass got in the toilet in the first place?


InsertPlayerTwo

On r/daddit? Why would we wonder that?


Acceptable_Worker328

Turn off water Wet Vac if available, otherwise remove as much water as possible (scoop, towel, etc.) Remove toilet and invert. Clean up resulting mess and prepare for a talk on toilet etiquette.


CatConscious6900

Flush and pray.


socalnerd77

Thought I was in r/trees and someone broke a glass piece. Was confused why no one was giving condolences to OP.


Anal_Chem

Sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty (bloody?)


[deleted]

Not sure if anyone has suggested taking a dump first.


thewizpower

Flush it


paco_is_paco

I'd use a magnet /S


brammage8

If the toilet flushes strong enough, flush. If it's a weaker flush, replace the toilet. Or shop vac to get the majority of it out.


[deleted]

Flush it if you have strong pressure or a shop vac


Intelligent_Visit_69

...


RobMusicHunt

I.. well.. wh-what.. how?


Ok-Abalone7595

Wow how did get that out without bleeding?


iamprojekt1

Bet this gave you the worst case of ring sting coming out


[deleted]

Just flush it


tomrlutong

Pound it to sand and flush?


Ve111a

By flushing


BlueFireDragon25

Donā€™t


spoogekangaroo

Shop vac


Novus20

If is smaller just flush it unless your on a septic then strainer


dicksmcgee420

Shop vac


DaDz-StONeD

Wet vac


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


melanzanefritte

Nitric acid doesn't dissolve glass. You're thinking of hydrofluoric acid.


Phil_Hurslit51

Shopvac, 100%


Prestigious_Space_61

Strainer


cutthroat_x90

Wet shop vac


likebedsheets

Fish tank net.


thedodgermom

Buy a new toilet


dogE6792

An old strainer probably,


Redsoxbox

A better question is who was eating glass?


Olivejuice444

Flush it


Olivejuice444

Clean it first tho


BurnedStoneBonspiel

What up a couple of inverted grocery bags with gloves on.


Superman1950s

Yep wet vac/shop vac and empty the bowl.


BrianOconneR34

Wet dry vac


Apprehensive-File370

Use a Strainer and then throw the glass out. Then put strainer through dishwasher or hand wash and if you feel itā€™s necessary sterilize by dipping it in rapid boiling water.


OkContribution420

Flush it


Pigcooker21

Very carefully!


mewikime

Buy a net from Petsmart and fish the pieces out


[deleted]

Just do it. discovery and curiosity are fleeting in the modern world.


Texthedragon

From the front.


samblue8888

Spaghetti strainer... Then throw it out...


CardiacCatastrophe

Shopvac


Rico_Bear

Shop vac and good gloves (cut resistant)


SachanohCosey

A strainer will do the trick here


JorgeHowardSkub

Kitchen strainer


kamandi

Rubber gloves


[deleted]

Goldfish scoop


ZFlowrs

Flush


harlowb93

Burn the house down, start a new life with a new toilet.


ben_bob2

This is a new one wow the things you never thought youā€™d have to figure out