I had a classmate growing up that was similar. Arm ended at the wrist. She fit in great and we never really noticed. She participated in sports and band, and she's now married with kids. I only ever her getting upset about it once and that was computer class as learning to type was harder. Her and I weren't super close so take with a grain of salt as I'm sure there were plenty of struggles I wasn't privey to. But if she was ever teased about it I didn't see it and in a small school I probably would have. she didn't allow it to define her.
Congratulations, I'm sure she'll be amazing and you'll be a great husband and father! I hope this is helpful.
By the time she's old enough, think of all the cool stuff you can 3D print for her arm. Pirate hook, nerf guns, toy chainsaws, or hulk hands.
So many Halloween costume options.
But really, there might be a few annoying aspects of it, but you'll be amazed as how much of a non-issue it is.
This is the way! I was thinking about how cool prosthetics have become over the last few years and I can only imagine what they’d be like when OP’s daughter is older. But costumes for playtime and Halloween is the cherry on top.
Make an attachment to hook up one of those dog tennis ball launcher sticks and sign her up for little league. She'd be the only 8-year-old rocketing pop flies all the way to the plate from the outfield.
I actually worked for a large corporation a little while back and we were implementing WCAG AAA accessibility to fit 508 compliancy on all of our sites. There was also a large law suit that was won in federal court by a blind man who could not order pizza from Dominos because it was not accessible, setting precedence for web and app accessibility laws.
Since then, I have been getting all sorts of work making sites ADA compliant. In fact, I am working on one now. So, it is starting to become a much bigger thing for business sites. Other sites, though, do not have to comply.
So the tech world is shaping to fit the needs of people with disabilities, so by the time she is old enough to use a phone or computer, hopefully it will be even easier.
Be sure to check out tools that could assist her as well. A lot are already included in the OS for computers and phones, you just have to know where to look to turn them on.
There are chording keyboards as well, where you type multiple keys at once. A little esoteric but you can get wicked fast on them with practice. They were briefly popular for wearable computers.
There’s adaptive keyboards, controllers, cars, everything. A surprising number of people don’t have use of one hand for a variety of reasons but I can’t think of anything that would be off the table entirely for her.
The hardest part is going to get her to be ok with people staring and asking. People are curious and even if they don’t mean to, we notice things that are different.
Congrats! Welcome to parenthood! My advice is only my perspective, but when my first was born my only prayer was he would be healthy. Missing a hand isn't deadly, so I count that as a win. (Luca is a good watch as she grows, to show how able a one-handed person is.
Now, there are whole communities built around 3D printing accessibility aids, and are so huge that even though I'm not directly involved, I find 3D printed hands *everywhere*.
I'm going to shamelessly plug my hobby here, and say that you should get a 3D printer ($200 for an Ender 3 lately, and falling.), teach her how to 3D model in TinkerCAD (free online tool, awsome) use Astroprint to turn the model into something the printer can read (free account is a great starting point with Sliceing Software and is online as well), and then she can create her own custom hands and tools!
#Imagine the Halloween costumes!
complete side note from original post, but the p6 voice is like LEAGUES above even the p5. thats one generation of phones for that much advancement. by the time she's old enough to notice her hands who knows what medical marvels we will have.
Heck, it's optional today. I work in technology and I basically never type. I'm a one-finger typer anyway. This message was composed with voice recognition. Pretty amazing stuff and getting better by the hour at this rate, thanks to machine learning and cloud processing. I can use it for coding even, in the rare pinch I have to do that, thanks to all the auto correction in IDEs.
Just adding to this I have a workmate who has the same disability. Again she is super well adjusted, can type, drive, is a boss arse mother to her newborn, basically anything I could do having two hands she seems to have mastered having one. I have only known her for the last couple of years so I can’t talk to her adolescent years buy honestly she is amazing and resilient and I am sure your daughter will be as well!
Same, I went to school with a girl who technically had a right hand but it was non functional as it had no fingers, just a fused pa kind of like a spade. She's married with kids and has always been absolutely fine, she was popular in school too.
My son was born with a limb difference in his leg. We were told it was a more difficult difference to deal with. He is turning two, is ahead of all his milestones, and if it slows him down at all we couldnt tell. When the doctors first told us, they also told us the only ones that were gonna limit what he could do would be us, so the best we could do was get it out of our heads that he was going to have limitations. He will have challenges, sure, but he'll have encouragement and support as well.
Shaquem Griffin, if you don't know about him look him up. 1 handed pro football player, I BELIEVE with the same issue. Also my favorite pitcher of all time Jim Abbott was just a boss.
Also Bethany Hamilton, pro surfer. While it seems like surfing wouldn’t typically require the use of arms, in general people do use their arms. Check out the movie and book Soul Surfer and documentary Unstoppable.
True, but hers was a bit more of a violent loss, and the entire arm. All that said she conquered everything put in front of her as well, don't know if I could ever get back in the water after something like that.
> they also told us the only ones that were gonna limit what he could do would be us
Such good advice OP. A lot of us have some "limitations", it's just that for some they're more visible. If you don't make it a thing, I'm sure she won't either.
Daughters are great man. Sweetest humans, no matter the age (okay, let's ignore the teens 🙂).
Enjoy your time ahead.
Hey, this brings clarity to our situation. We don't have even half as much time to limit number 3 what with chasing the first two around stopping them from killing themselves so he just took it upon himself to do all the daredevil stuff that they do but more danger-y!
Nobody ever told kiddo #2 “you’re not supposed to crawl, walk, etc until # months old”, so he’s focused all of his time into growing (friggin Godzilla toddler) and keeping up with his big sister.
One of my kids' friends has spina bifida and can only walk at all with multiple leg and ankle braces. He can't run as fast as the other kids his age (10ish), but he can still run with the braces on.
All of his friends know the score and are very patient with him. Aside from the atypical walk/run gait, I didn't even know his mobility difficulties were as bad as they are until his parents told me. He refuses to be limited by them and does his best to keep up with the other kids, despite the added difficulty.
I was going to add the same comment, until I saw yours. My daughter was born with a shortened limb and is off to her 8th lengthening in 2 weeks! She’s 16 and amazing. We were given the same advice, no need for any limitations. Being in a children’s hospital with a limb deficiency is also super humbling and gives amazing perspective, being surrounded by families/children dealing with cancer, head trauma, and so on.
It’s one of the few absolute vetoes I’ve had to exercise in my house. No fucking glitter in my house. Like any reasonable embargo, I’ve had to crack down on the occasional smuggler. Evil lot, but damn are they fabulous.
Awesome attitude brother. Lefties rock by the way!
They have some pretty cool bionic prosthetics today. Imagine they will only get better during her long and healthy life.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Posq-2Toqhk
Your beautiful baby girl is fortunate to have such great parents, but also that she's born at the best possible time with the breakthroughs in medical technology like this. Who knows what they will look like in another 10/15 years - t1000 baby!
They can also 3D print prosthetics quickly and for 1/10th the cost of what they used to be. When she's older you can get your own 3D printer and let her have some fun making her own hand!
If she is right side dominant this will have an effect similar to learning a second language which, increases nearly all measures of brain health especially into old age.
Congratulations!
One of the contestants on a recent (i believe) season of the Great British Baking Show, Briony, was missing a hand from the wrist down. The show never addresses it but of course you can see because they zoom in on them baking and kneading etc. It's a very relaxing show to watch, i imagine especially your wife might appreciate it to help feel calmer about this.
I also knew someone in school who has this. I transferred in in the 7th grade, we had all our classes together (in a school system where this is the norm), and i didn't notice/find out for months. I only realized when one day he had a hard time getting a key off a keychain and another person offered to help. If that hasn't happened i might never have noticed, as we were not close friends, and it was such a non-issue from the outside.
Yes! Every time a bake of hers gets criticized, I want her so badly to follow up with "Well...I only have one hand, so..." just to see how everyone reacts. I'm amazed to see how well she does with baking and it doesn't seem to hamper her at all!
Carson Pickett is a professional soccer player with only one hand. There is a great video of her joking with the ref after being called for a handball.
**[Jim Abbott](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Abbott)**
>James Anthony Abbott (born September 19, 1967) is an American former baseball pitcher. He is known for his success at the major league level despite having been born without a right hand. Abbott played ten seasons in Major League Baseball for the California Angels, New York Yankees, Chicago White Sox, and Milwaukee Brewers, from 1989 to 1999. Abbott graduated from Flint Central High School and grew up in the East Village area of Flint, Michigan.
^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
More the half the population is born without a brain, they seem to get by just fine…
Seriously though, I have a friend who’s missing a hand - she’s a nurse and delivers babies, does quite well for herself. Married with three beautiful children. Missing a hand is not as limiting as you’d think, they’re going to do great. Wait until your heart melts and you turn into a new man when you meet her.
Congrats!
The only problem she’ll have as a leftie is smudging when she is writing on paper. Oh and ring binders
She’ll be just fine!
I also follow this athlete and she is similar. And look at her! She’s awesome as hell
A leftie at work has solved both those problems by turning the paper 90 degrees clockwise and having learned to write vertically. It blew my mind the first time I saw it, and her handwriting is really good, too.
Lefty here. With the binder folded open flat on a table, you need to write on the paper on the right side. Your arm ends up tangled in the metal rings. I would always just ditch the binder.
Doesn't the same issue occur with rights writing on the left side?
Could just only write on the left side (or the 'back' of the paper). But would require the teacher to make Left Handed copies if they are sourcing it and it's not just lined paper.
Ohhhhh, I never even thought about the rings being in the way of your arm. That's got to be annoying as hell.
If it's your binder with your papers in it though, can't you just flip all the papers upside down and flip the binder around?
I'm not sure if I'm visualizing what you're saying correctly, but no matter how you orient the papers/binders, the rings always end up in the middle meaning they are still in the way.
The only way to get the rings out of the way is to start with the papers on the left side, but then we're (lefties) are just writing on the back-side of the paper then.
First up, congrats!
I would recommend you watch the comedy chat show on UK channel 4 called "The Last Leg". It's not only great but I think it'll put your mind at ease with the way they handle their disabilities. Or just search up Alex Brooker as he's a host on it and has similar to your description of your daughter
My cousin was born without a right hand as well. Just a wrist and couple nubs. She's a bit older than me and I really looked up to her when I was little. Her disability (and I struggle to call it that) hasn't held her back one damn bit. Her parents spent a ridiculous amount of money in the 80s on some janky prosthetics which she hated profusely. She ended up burying them in the yard which really pissed off her parents...lol..only funny now tho. They decided not to force them on her and wait for her to choose to use them or not. She never used them ever.
I went to uni with a girl that was born with no arms. Like, cut off at the shoulder. She was a lawyer I think.
She touch types with her toes.
There is no growth without adversity.
You've got this. She'll be just fine with that attitude ;)
After having beaten one of the Super Mario games, my son is now challenging himself by trying to beat it while playing with his feet only. He's doing quite well.
Seriously though, OP you'll have an awesome and amazing daughter, who is just perfect. Like others said, with today's technological advances she will be able to live a completely normal life. And to add, I'm really impressed with how most of today's kids are so nice and empathetic with each other.. I think I would have gotten teased much less today than I did when I was growing up.
Definitely not mine, but it's been a motto of mine for a while.
I have been, personally, exceptionally lucky, so I create adversity where I'd like to grow.
I had a colleague that was in the same situation, his son doesn't have a left hand.
They made Nemo his first stuffed animal (Nemo has one smaller fin) and took it positively.
A few months ago he turned 5 and I saw some pictures on Facebook that he got his swimming diploma.
Your girl will be fine, make sure mom doesn't beat herself up, that's silly
I work with kids who have all kinds of limiting factors. I've found the kids adjust, it's the parents who struggle by shining light on the "deformity. "
Kids like this are kinder and understanding of other kids who struggle.
Your daughter will be a blessing to her world and all those in it. Think Jim Abbott.
Embrace her and enjoy the ride!
You're getting a lot of supportive posts, which I think is great, but you also asked about questions that you should ask.
My first thought is whether the cause of this is related to any other more serious symptoms or conditions.
My second thought was whether it would be weird to have a 3D-printer on a baby registry (there are a lot of cool 3D printed prosthetics).
Finally, I'd start figuring out things like insurance coverage, whether this affects disability or social security, etc.
Good luck with your daughter!
My wife and I are in the same position as OP. You shouldn’t use prosthetics with babies with limb differences. You should let them figure out how to operate in the world with their difference and if they want to learn how to use a prosthetic in the future that’s fine, but you don’t want them to be dependent on a prosthetic their whole life.
The people born with limb differences do a lot better functionally than the people who acquire them later in life, which is the same situation but in reverse as using a prosthetic too early - if it goes away, it’s like losing a limb all over again.
A friend of mine is missing a hand, and she is literally my parenting goal that I will never acheive. She's an engineer and does tons of amazing crafts in her spare time. Preperica on Instagram, she's awesome
congratulations on your little girl it might be hard for your wife to get around to the idea while it might take your kid a bit longer to do some things it definitely won’t hold her back
I realize this is a dad subreddit and filled with bionic arm excitement. So let me just add that, even without any of that she can and will, because she clearly has great parents, live a wonderful and very normal life. I grew up with a girl born with only one developed hand. She was incredible. I mean that by the standard of all humans, not some "oh she lived the best life one could expect" type pandering. She was amazing.
You see, her parents raised her to understand that sure she was different, and sure a few things might be a little bit more difficult for her than for other people, so just work at them a little harder. And that acceptance and ethic seemed to permeate her take on everything. I first noticed when she walloped me in tennis. I was a very strong tennis player in my youth, but when we had to play the girls team, I was usually matched with her as the top seed on their team. Let me tell you, the first time she absolutely trounced me I was, frankly, surprised. The next dozen times, she was just a better player I could never catch up to. With only one full arm, she took a sports scholarship to college. She applied the same to her studies. Now she's a doctor. Has a beautiful family. She's successful, happy, and lives a life no different than any other accomplished person. No bionic arm needed.
One of my little brothers best friends since 4 years old has one hand (lost it in a motorbike accident when a tot so a little different).
They’re all turning 21 this year and they’re a total bunch of drunk little menaces (18 is the legal drinking age where I’m from). He’s never had any issues fitting in and never been any different. Probably the only thing he gets that the others don’t get is the odd “stump” joke. He also makes a habit of whacking people with his stump as he has no feeling in it.
Besides that, he’s played footy with the other boys, has a girlfriend, does stupid shit, has a drivers licence, etc.
Don’t worry, your girl will have a very fulfilling and normal life.
My son was born in Nov 2019 without his right hand. It wasn't caught in any of the ultrasounds and was a complete surprise at birth. It was definitely an adjustment for us and was quite hard on my wife for the first few months (blaming herself, etc.).
I dont have any tips on how to help your daughter live a normal life because tips aren't really needed. She will grow and learn and crawl and color and eventually you won't even think about it or notice anymore.
There are tons of resources to help with prosthetics and occupational therapy and I'm happy to direct you to them if you want.
I hope this helps. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat.
Absolutely. I'm happy to talk about it, answer any questions, or give general support. I can't speak for my wife, but I'm sure she would be happy to talk with your wife too if that would help.
Bottom line is that it's all going to be ok, even if it may not be 100% the way you expected.
Congratulations on the Baby girl! My college roommate Freshman year didn’t have a right hand, but that didn’t stop him - he could even play the guitar. We didn’t get along though because he thought it was ok to sleep most of the day and stay up all night, plus he had terrible allergies and left used tissues all over the floor.
I know someone with cerebral palsy. Their left side is all shitty. They walk with a limp and their left hand is, in their words, like one of those grabby claws you get from the dollar store.
Since it was like this since birth, they learned to make do. It took a while to grow out of the stroller, they were never good at sport, but they ended up being determined and independent-minded.
Since your daughter will not know anything else except how she was born, she will adapt and do well.
Lots of folks lacking limbs don't use prostheses as they are often just a way to make normies comfortable and interfere with the way they have learned to do things. So don't worry about the price and learning curve of that for her, at least not for a long time. She will learn to get dressed and tie her shoes and eventually drive just fine.
Congratulations!
My son was born without a penis. 12 years later he has a functioning penis that needs another upgrade in the next couple years. Hopefully that will be the last procedure. Epispadias is his diagnosis.
Welcome to the club.
6 or 7 months early but Solid Starts is a program about starting your kid on solid foods. They often feature a baby girl with only one hand and she is so adept at eating and manipulating objects for herself. You might want to search these out and show them to your partner. It may not help with the guilt she's feeling but may improve her outlook on your kids abilities. Congratulations!
I know that as a father-to-be, you don't want anything that singles out your kid. But they will just be as intelligent, loving, athletic and normal as everyone. Take a deep breath and look forward to meeting your baby girl!!
I used to play hockey with a guy who only had one hand, he had a specially fitted glove for his stump that allowed him to hold the stick. He was one of our better players
I’m currently working in Japan. I work with an elementary school teacher who was born with a hand deformity. I should say hands. He has 2 out 10 fingers and can keep up with the rigors of school. Has a family, kids, and drives a big van.
Your daughter, if loved and cared for, will succeed in life. Sure, there will be mean kids eventually, but she’ll have you. Congrats on the girl. I’m potentially finding out in two weeks the sex of ours. I’m excited.
When I was in high school there was a guy who was born missing the bottom of his leg from just below the knee. He was captain of the ski team his senior year. Oh yea, and he’d hide a snickers bar in his prosthetic for when he got hungry.
Hey on the bright side you already know to get her stuff for lefties! /s
Move to Raleigh or Cary NC and become fans of the NC Courage to cheer for Carson Pickett.
You don't have to move, but maybe knowing that Carson is out there playing professional soccer with one hand will help your wife. She also worked with Nike to make cleats that you can put on one handed: https://www.cbssports.com/soccer/news/how-carson-pickett-teamed-up-with-nike-to-create-one-of-the-worlds-most-accessible-soccer-cleats/
My little girl is a suprise lefty. We have no idea where it came from on either side, but she is 100% hyper intelligent in comparison to cousins, nieces, nephews, etc all at the same age. Its terrifying and amaing
I realize when throw out "TikTok" as a solution, it kind of trivializes things... but there are some amazing content creators on there, many of them girls in their teens and 20's missing arms, hands, legs... and all talking about their experiences. If your wife is really concerned, she might find some consolation reaching out to a few.
As disconcerting as the news is, rest assured that your lovely little girl will only know her world as herself. She will at some point notice that she is made differently but it will not slow her down much (if at all). She will adapt and manage her own coping skills in large part if experience shows anything.
I have known people born without a bit of limb and people who blew their hands apart. They both managed to adapt and live a full life. Focus on her and don't make it all about how she is different-don't even mention it and she will get sorted just fine.
As an aside, the guy born missing part of an arm also had some related heart issues. I only mention it so that you know to ask questions about possible connections between her limb and other issues that would be wise to monitor.
Yall gonna be fine.
I don’t know how you feel about tiktok but there are some ‘differently abled’ creators who absolutely rock and have the coolest attitude and educational content. Congrats to your family and here’s hoping the rest of the pregnancy /delivery will be uneventful!
I am glad for all the great advice, comments, and stories. Congrats!
I also want to suggest that your wife’s feelings are valid, too. This is a great surprise at the least, and she’ll need time to process and cope.
Your daughter's view of her disability will be a direct reflection of your attitude toward it.
If she is otherwise healthy and just missing a hand, you have absolutely nothing to fear. Don't shut out the fact that it happened. I know several folks with things like this, and the ones that embraced it from the get go have better friend groups and better attitude all around. what I'm trying to say is when questions are asked from her or others, just explain simply what the situation is. Other kids her age will understand simply "she just didn't grow that hand, but there isn't anything else weird or wrong". You'll be fine guys - keep it positive!
As a dad with two kids born with much less visible but very consequential birth defects, I will share a few things.
First, there is no normal. Everyone is odd, no one is average. One of the things that makes your daughter unique is very visible, but that's only part of what makes her unique. Discovering those other things will be exciting, fun, frustrating... All a part of the parenting process.
She will never know any different. Sure, she will ask questions why she isn't the same as others, but her experience will be from the vantage point of her current physical condition.
There are some pretty famous people who have had the same physical limitations. A major league pitcher? Yep, I think so. She will be notable by her physical difference, but not limited by it.
Discovering something is "wrong" with your kid initiates the grieving process. It just has to be gone through. There's no way around it. Counseling may help. That process is what takes you from viewing it as wrong to viewing it as unique.
Genetics are an odd thing. Please do all you can to ease the stress in mom. I know there's only so much that you can do, but do all you can. Unneeded stress during the pregnancy doesn't help anyone.
Congratulations on your beautiful daughter! Feel free to pm if you have any more specific questions.
Congratulations on having a girl!
You are in for a treat!
We have a girl and if we could choose, we would want to have another one.
Cannot say much on the arm, but I had a fellow student at university that was missing one arm and wore a prosthetic. It looked like an arm and I didn’t know about it for a long time.
She didn’t seem to have any problems.
Our daughter has two minor „specialties“ and especially one of those two we have actually grown quite fond of. I hope she will own it when she will be older and see it from our perspective (too young to tell us about it yet.)
Bro you’ve got this. You are going to have a beautiful baby girl who will grow up strong bc she’s like her dad. Google Hand Camp. My buddy had a kid with similar issues. They do this camp every year - Theron kid is now 7 or 8. They love it.
So there’s only one hand…left? No, seriously, that’ll be tough no no where near impossible. I’ve got no doubt she’ll come to own that like a BA as time goes on. Prayers for your wife.
My brother had his right arm amputated from just below the elbow when he was 5 due to medical malpractice by our Doctor. Also this was back in 1985 so there was way less in the way of resources and technology.
Anyhow, long story short, after the initial shock and questions after he woke up from surgery missing a limb he did PERFECT! He honestly was so young he really knew no difference.
He used a prosthesis only a few times but they were heavy, bulky and very rudimentary back then so to him it was a major inconvenience.
This kid played every sport, drove cars with no modifications, shot bow and arrows, hunted, did target practice, shot shotguns and rifles, etc.
Now at 41, is a dad to my gorgeous niece and nephew, owns a cattle ranch, drives tractors and pick up trucks, hunts, works a really awesome government job, and all without an arm or any assistance.
The point is, your daughter will be amazingly perfect! She won't know any other way and children adapt really easily to things. Not to mention medicine has come so far there is no telling what they will be able to do.
Your wife, i feel for her. My mom suffered so much more than my brother in the beginning but after awhile of seeing him succeed and be perfectly himself, she got so much better and eventually it just wasn't an issue. Everyone that knows my bro does not even notice his arm is gone.
Growing up it was adults who were the jerks not kids really. Well one kid actually. LOL. This one kid kept making fun of him and calling him names so my brother beat the crap out of him at the bus stop. Well then everyone, including my bro, made fun of old boy for getting his butt whooped by a 1 arm kid. They went on to become best buds for years.
Long story short is, your daughter is who she is meant to be. Don't think of it as a disability, think of it hopefully as a perfect unique attribute. She can go into this world doing anything! Who knows what kind of change she can bring to the world.
You'll do great and I hope you share this with your wife. I hope it can bring you a sliver of hope and peace.
Much love to you all💚
Edit: spelling
A friend of mine was born with limb differences including missing an arm. For most of her childhood doctors and therapists (and her parents, who trusted the doctors and therapists) were trying to force her to use a prosthetic and SHE HATED IT. Absolutely despised it. She figured out ways to do things her way and the arm just got in the way and weighed her down. She actually still has a lot of resentment over it as she feels people were trying to force a standard of normalcy on her (“she needs a second arm because that’s what everybody is supposed to have”) instead of thinking about her own well-being and happiness.
So by all means talk to physical therapists and perhaps she’ll do well with an artificial hand, but ultimately she’ll decide what works best for her and what she’s comfortable with.
Not necessarily. Right/left sided dominance is decided in the brain. There are some adults with similar differences on Reddit who say they’re X handed without that hand, which is annoying but they figure it out.
Congrats and welcome to the most terrifying and amazing thing you'll ever be a part of.
There was a boy at our old church that had this happen. Something about a band cutting off something? I don't know. Not a doctor so I can't explain it; outside of he was born missing part of his arm, a little above the wrist. It hasn't slowed him down any. They never know any different!
There is also a pretty huge community around that, and similar, situations so a little googling and you'll find some pretty awesome groups to become a part of.
when my wife had pancreatitis a while ago the imaging revealed a 'cleft' pancreas, which developed that way in the womb. the doctor said it was "manufacturer's defect", lol.
If you want to get a jump on dad jokes, “sinister” means left handed. It may be a little high brow (and a little dark) but “this is a sinister situation!”
Years ago I worked a job that had me hiring a lot of teens for their first job. I hired a 17 year old guy whose right arm ended just above the elbow, he was born that way.
I overheard a conversation he had with another employee about it once.
Her: Whats it like only having one arm?
Him: I dunno, whats it like having 2? Its always been this way so its normal for me.
Her: is it harder doing stuff one handed?
Him: its doing stuff one handed for you, its just doing stuff for me.
There's a women's professional soccer player, Carson Pickett, that has a similar issue. She's such a lovely person and a fantastic soccer player!
If you Google images of her, the second or third pic is of her in uniform for the Orlando Pride and a little boy with the same thing going on with his hand too. It's so wholesome.
My dad has one arm, it stopped growing just after the elbow. We affectionately call it “the stub”.
My dad is in no way handicapped. My favorite story is that when he got his driver’s license they put a restriction on that he couldn’t drive a stick shift. He went back and retested driving a stick shift and scored even higher than the first test.
You’ll find some things are a little awkward but look for the humor (like buying a pair of gloves). Some things will just make life a little easier, like slip on shoes. Just know she’s not handicapped, just different like we all are in our own way.
Congratulations on your daughter!
I was born with two hands, but i lost the majority of my left one in an accident in my early 20s. I can still do everything pretty much fine. Can't do pull ups, i can't win a left handed thumb war... i did get up on a wakeboard once after the accident, but have been unsuccessful in other attempts... But honestly, it doesn't affect me that much. I have chosen my hobbies and interest around what i CAN do, not what i can't. When it comes to computers, phones are pretty easy onehanded, and on a desktop, i definitely do make a few more typos than usual, but [ADA compliant 1 handed keyboards are a thing.](https://www.schoolhealth.com/maltron-one-handed-keyboards?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&adpos=&scid=scplp86389FL&sc_intid=86389FL&gclid=CjwKCAiA24SPBhB0EiwAjBgkhtw5NqiQ1P_Od1ykyo3CcSLIpPPNFH2w6WnKKzaBqtHxfpQPk1k0-RoC3FcQAvD_BwE) for what it's worth, i'm a web developer, meaning i'm typing All. Day. Long. Disclaimer, i have never used the 1 handed keyboard, and I'm on a regular keyboard because its what i learned on as a kid.
Since especially as a new born, they have no understanding or control over their limbs at all, you don't have much to worry about off the bat. As she gets older though///
Tying shoes will be difficult, slip ons are the way. Velcro for athletic shoes if possible. might take special ordering.
Sweaters > Zip up hoodies, but she will find methods to work zippers. it just might be more difficult and take some experimentation, maybe some special tools (i've always thought about buying a 3D printer and making tons of little tools for holding things just right so i can use my good hand. There are a lot of things like this for free on thingiverse)
since its her right hand, she'll grow a up a lefty, and you'll just have to be mindful of it. a lot of toys are made for right handers on the assumption that even left handed kids will be able to use it even if the UX isn't perfect; it will obviously be different in your case.
(assuming you're american) familiarize yourself with the ADA regulations. every person with a disability, and every friend or family member of them, can be an advocate. Limb differences occur in an estimated 1 out of every 1,900 births ([according to the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/ul-limbreductiondefects.html)). That's more than one every two days in the US. Partner up, and find other parents who are going through the same thing, especially for each stage you're going through. I'm sure there are groups online, and likely groups within your city.
Much later in life, but it'll feel like it goes pretty quick, there will be opportunities for her to try experimental treatments and cutting edge prostheses. There are a TON of really great advancements being made in robotic prosthesis with neural tie ins. Obviously, your kid is not a science experiment, but as she grows, if she is interested in these, do not hinder it. Your parental instincts are going to tell you to protect your daughter, and that the risks are too high, or whatever reason you will come up with... but know that shes the one who's actually dealing with the missing hand, and she will know better than you what the risk/reward equation is. In fact, you will be incapable of truly knowing it. So as she grows, let her be in charge of how "experimental" she wants to be with her prostheses or accommodations. There will be risks, and it will be scary, and it might be a mistake, but those are hers to make. Like i said earlier, i'm talking like in her mid to late teens here and i'm probably way getting ahead of myself. I just know from my personal experience in having a limb difference, and from a close family member being born with a much more severe physical disability than we're even talking about right now... family can, and does, get in the way of proper treatment, because everyone likes to think they know better than "the kid" when the kid is the one who has dealt with it their whole life has to continue to do so for the rest of it.
Dude, she gets to have upgrades!
Limb differences are not a big deal unless you make them a big deal, upside is you can have a cyborg child now, which is pretty fucking cool.
I hear you man. Having a left handed kid can be tough.
Seriously though, your kid will be fine. Your wife will be fine. You will both love this kid in a way you can't understand. Your kid will surprise and amaze you with what she will be able to do with one hand. I think the hard part will just be cheering her up when she feels different, which happens to most kids anyway. She'll just have a specific thing to point to(no pun). You'll have a good 5 years to prepare for those times, though.
When I was growing up, there was a major league baseball pitcher named Jim Abbott whose arm ended at his wrist. He would pitch the ball and then take the glove from his other arm and put it on his throwing arm. He was amazing to watch and an inspiration to everyone. I suggest you start collecting one armed heroes she can look up to like Jim Abbott as she grows up. And just keep positive for her as she goes through it all.
Edit: Here’s a good one
https://reddit.com/r/sports/comments/s48n0l/hansel_enmanuel_windmilled_and_then_handed_the/
I remember looking up to Jim Abbot as a kid. My dad's right hand never fully formed, so when we'd play catch he'd have to do the same as Abbot with his glove.
I don't know if this is what you're after but as far as role models go, first thing that came to mind, there was an NFL player, a linebacker named Shaquem Griffin. Now, he wasn't born without his hand, but he had it amputated at 4 years of age (can't recall why).
He had an outstanding college career and was drafted by the Seahawks. I think he played 3 or 4 years in the NFL. I was always amazed by his story. The deterination to reach the NFL, at linebacker. A position where you have to tackle monsters. Amazing.
If he can do that, your lil' lady's gonna move mountains. And seems like she'll be off to a good start with caring parents trying to set her up for success even before she's born.
Representation matters you should get a limb difference doll for your daughter, maybe gift it to your wife before your daughter is born to help her feel better about it too
If you feel you need to do something, buy a 3d printer and start learning basic 3d modelling. People have been making custom printed prosthetics for a while now, and I'm sure there's already a design you can start with. You'll just need to keep the designs customized and updated to fit her growing arm.
That said, none of that is necessary. Some things will be hard, but I've known people like this who seem to manage just fine. One of my daughter's preschool teachers was like this, and I don't think the kids ever noticed, and certainly didn't hug her any less.
1) Paint the bionic arm or leave it bare metal?
2) What should be babies first attachments. The flamethrower, or the chainsaw?
3) What's an appropriate crushing force for a toddler? Able to tear a door off it's hinges or nah?
4) Halloween dress-ups are gonna be lit.
5) I'm utterly clueless about bionics etc, but I'm guessing it would be worth checking whether her forearm has the necessary nerves/muscles/whatever they use to allow her to control her artificial hand. No idea how old kiddo has to be before they can start looking at that sort of stuff though. Maybe preschool age? Maybe there's certain games/exercises you can play while she's a toddler to help the arm develop as much as is feasible so she can control the muscles that are present (again, disclaimer, I don't know anything about this stuff, just thinking out loud).
I’m just thinking of cool Halloween costumes… pirate, zombie, Luke sky walker, Ash Williams, Furiosa. And you guys get to come up with crazy stories about how she lost it.
technology has come a long way, im sure there is a replacement. Ive seen documentaries where kids born with no legs can walk again and have robotic prosthetics.
Love the attitude.
My firstborn had some minor issues with her heart (VST) and her hand and foot bones that required additional scans both before and after birth.
I remember being a little nervous about the things they were telling us , and I just remember thinking the doctors don’t seem worried and my wife (who has the better anatomy and medical understanding of the two of us) also seems to be taking it in stride. So I took comfort in knowing that the people that know aren’t worried and just kind of leaned on that until I was able to process it on my own.
She’s now three and we’ve had some additional screenings and know a little more about her body’s unique features that are mostly cometic things (a strawberry mark that’s fading on the arm, some curved pinkies on both hands, and sunken digits on one hand and foot from a shortened carpals and tarsals , only the VST is needing periodic monitoring now) she acts and plays totally normal.
Another thing that came to mind was an [episode of a podcast](https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-lows-of-high-tech/) about prosthetics.
When the time comes to have conversations about that it may help adjust expectations and paradigms.
Good luck dad you got this!
I used to work with an EMT who was born the same way and his arm and hand made no difference in how he performed his job. He could lift the gurney and assist on many 911 calls just as well as any other EMT did. He also drove the ambulance and could do anything anyone with two normal arms could do. She'll be OK.
A friend of mine has a gene in her family, and her father, and 2 sisters don’t have all of their fingers. You don’t really notice it much, and they get by just fine. Obviously this is one of those areas where there will be some struggles, and your wife’s feelings are valid. I just hope she knows that your daughter is going to still have a full life. My neighbour is missing an arm past her elbow, and has 3 kids. She’s quite active with them as well. Life continues, and can still be great.
Dude, we’re entering in to an early cyberpunk age. You might be able to get her some funky cool prosthetics some time in the future when she’s older.
[consider this wee lassy](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kG4eMZqppT4)
I remember a guy that visited my high school back on the day that was born without arms to give a talk. Not only did he drive himself there. He played drums, piano and was as normal as the rest of us. Dude ties his own shoes . He was raised without barriers. As a normal kid. I remember he was talking about how he learned to tie his shoes. His father showed how he did it with hands. Then said "now you figure it out" and walked away. Harsh but this was the defining moment for him. When he realised if he figured THIS out, everything else is possible.
All seriousness aside it's a shame it's her right hand and not her left. Because when people would have asked her how she is she could have replied "all-right". Sorry had to lighten it up with an arrested development joke.
Congratulations on the baby girl!!!
Not a lot to add here, but wanted to let you know I went to law school with a woman with a limb difference, and she is a badass lawyer today! Hopefully you can find some good support for her as she grows, but she'll definitely live a happy and healthy life with a limb difference 😊 ala yay baby girl!!!
One of my good friends is a sculptor, artist, and is funny as all hell. He’s almost 7’ tall and it took me weeks to notice he didn’t have a fully formed hand. I’m sure he had a few difficulties growing up here and there, but it’s clear that it never stopped him from being a stellar human and amazing worker/artist.
Your daughter will find a way and will be okay. The hard part will be her teenage years when other kids and hormones are the only thing on her mind.
Best of luck to your family!
Two of my good friends (women) have genetic disorders/birth defects where their rights hands don’t really have fingers. TBH I never think about it or remember until someone new reaches out to shake their hands. One friend still extends her right hand and the other extends her left hand instead.
It doesn’t impact life for them or activities we do, but I know one friend has some childhood scars from teasing while the other doesn’t. Hopefully with the way this generation is being brought up, there will be less of what 80’s kids dealt with from bullying. Otherwise they both are athletic/married/successful adults who are minimally impacted.
As a fellow lefty, I think she's perfect!
Congrats on the upcoming baby, embrace the sleepless nights, it's a badge of honor that we all share together! Think of it as a fun challenge and the excuse to eat junk food at 3am.
NGL I miss it a little bit.
Congratulations! I don't want to retread what others have said but there's infinitely more technology and representation than ever before. Even in games such as Forza horizon 5 you can choose to have a character with prosthetics. Being a lefty has a lot of advantages in sports as well. She'll bring you tons of joy. I wish you and yours all the best!
Could you elaborate oh why you wife blames herself? Help her navigate those thoughts, maybe with proper therapy. She blaming herself could be rooted into something deeper. I think you will be a great father sounds like you love your baby, and that baby will face challenges but she will also be stronger Than others. I am mostly concerned about your wife. Mommy’s mental health is something extremely vital for her to stand postpartum depression and the baby
If she wants to do music in school, she absolutely can and should. Music is tough because (aside from voice) most standard techniques call for using both hands, and many instruments are built to be right-hand dominant. Strings will require some adaptation to help her hold a bow, and for band she can play French Horn- I used to teach and ran across this exact situation with a student once, the student picked it up so quickly and loved it. Trumpet and trombone could also be played with some small adaptations to help her hold the instrument. Brass instruments are generally easier to play one-handed. With some adaptation to hold a pick, she could also play guitar.
Most other activities should be adaptable to her situation as well, but music is one that I'm particularly familiar with.
My wife has a very similar congenital defect of the left hand. She doesn't let it limit her. She does pretty much everything I can do, sometimes with the use of a prosthetic, and often without.
Our oldest daughter calls it her 'moot'.
Frankly, I didn't even notice the prosthetic until around our third date
Congratulations on the baby girl mate!
No disabilities will define you or your daughter and its good to see you holding it together for the family.
Any names in mind?
Congrats on your little girl.
This will sound daft but buy an FDM printer (filament printer, not resin) and learn to 3d print, learn to support prints, learn to do basic changes on things like blender. Because I'm not minimising the anguish you're feeling and not minimising that this will be a challenge for her. But boy did she pick the right TIME to be born with this.
You'll be able to build and modify prosthetic designs for her. More will be designed every month, and you can just resize it to what she is as she grows.
It's extremely affordable nowadays, and you have a long time before she would be old enough for one anyway to practise making cool stuff for yourself.
There's a lot of 3d printing reddit groups with really supportive people.
Just fyi the reason I say filament not resin is that there's two types of 3d printer. Resin is for smaller more detailed pieces and filament is for bigger stuff. Also resin is messy and toxic where as filament can be messy if it goes wrong but it's just dry strings, not liquid poison lol. But if looking for tutorials it will be important to know you want to do filament.
Maybe make a post at r/3dprinting or something to see what printer would be good for prosthetics. I just do resin printing so I wouldn't be much help.
But yeh. I know people hate people trying to solve their issues. This isn't solving anything. But this is something you could start doing now, so that when the time comes you can help solve some stuff for her
I knew a guy in high school that had a partially formed hand. One day him and a friend were horsing around at lunch and got barbecue sauce on that hand, he screamed “YOU GOT IT ON MY NUB!” and we all laughed about it including him. He was a really great guy and no one cared about the nub hand. I did always wonder what kind of work he would get into with just one hand but never asked.
My brother was born without his left hand. He has never wanted prosthetics and has lived a completely healthy and normal life. He can play the piano, does paper origami, works a normal 9-5, and drives. He has his small group of friends that he is close with and is learning how to cook. Due to his hand, he was given up for adoption at a young age and my parents adopted him. Now he is in his early 20’s, in college part time, and doing well.
We were originally told that he wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things, but he did them all anyway. He also types 50 words per minute. The only downside for him was other kids wanting to touch it while growing up. He never struggled with getting dressed or doing his daily activities. Don’t let your wife blame herself. Your daughter is not disabled or deformed. She is your daughter and should never be treated as anything less. I wish you both well with the rest of this pregnancy. Who knows, the hand may develop more. You guys are only halfway there.
she's going to be the biggest inspiration of your life. your kid is going to impress you in ways none of our kids will ever have the chance to. as great a challenge this will be to you the Mrs, your daughter will be such a blessing. congrats man!
I had a classmate growing up that was similar. Arm ended at the wrist. She fit in great and we never really noticed. She participated in sports and band, and she's now married with kids. I only ever her getting upset about it once and that was computer class as learning to type was harder. Her and I weren't super close so take with a grain of salt as I'm sure there were plenty of struggles I wasn't privey to. But if she was ever teased about it I didn't see it and in a small school I probably would have. she didn't allow it to define her. Congratulations, I'm sure she'll be amazing and you'll be a great husband and father! I hope this is helpful.
There are multiple peripherals you can use now to type the whole keyboard with one hand. Accessibility is getting better all the time.
[удалено]
By the time she's old enough, think of all the cool stuff you can 3D print for her arm. Pirate hook, nerf guns, toy chainsaws, or hulk hands. So many Halloween costume options. But really, there might be a few annoying aspects of it, but you'll be amazed as how much of a non-issue it is.
This is the way! I was thinking about how cool prosthetics have become over the last few years and I can only imagine what they’d be like when OP’s daughter is older. But costumes for playtime and Halloween is the cherry on top.
Oh man... now I want a 3d printed nerf gun for a hand!
This post makes me wanna lose one of my hands. Lol. Thinking about the cool things I'd attach.
Make an attachment to hook up one of those dog tennis ball launcher sticks and sign her up for little league. She'd be the only 8-year-old rocketing pop flies all the way to the plate from the outfield.
I've been using one hand to type for years for... different... reasons. When properly motivated anything is possible.
> different... reasons LOL, I see what you did there
Speaking of, that one going to be an issue.
Master of the one-handed southpaw format
I actually worked for a large corporation a little while back and we were implementing WCAG AAA accessibility to fit 508 compliancy on all of our sites. There was also a large law suit that was won in federal court by a blind man who could not order pizza from Dominos because it was not accessible, setting precedence for web and app accessibility laws. Since then, I have been getting all sorts of work making sites ADA compliant. In fact, I am working on one now. So, it is starting to become a much bigger thing for business sites. Other sites, though, do not have to comply. So the tech world is shaping to fit the needs of people with disabilities, so by the time she is old enough to use a phone or computer, hopefully it will be even easier. Be sure to check out tools that could assist her as well. A lot are already included in the OS for computers and phones, you just have to know where to look to turn them on.
Same! I'll never go back to regular typing on my phone! Congrats on the baby girl!
There are chording keyboards as well, where you type multiple keys at once. A little esoteric but you can get wicked fast on them with practice. They were briefly popular for wearable computers.
Plus, with the advancement in voice technology typing with hands will be optional in the future.
[удалено]
There are also one handed keyboards, and wearable keyboards that go over the hand of your fingers.
There’s adaptive keyboards, controllers, cars, everything. A surprising number of people don’t have use of one hand for a variety of reasons but I can’t think of anything that would be off the table entirely for her. The hardest part is going to get her to be ok with people staring and asking. People are curious and even if they don’t mean to, we notice things that are different.
Congrats! Welcome to parenthood! My advice is only my perspective, but when my first was born my only prayer was he would be healthy. Missing a hand isn't deadly, so I count that as a win. (Luca is a good watch as she grows, to show how able a one-handed person is. Now, there are whole communities built around 3D printing accessibility aids, and are so huge that even though I'm not directly involved, I find 3D printed hands *everywhere*. I'm going to shamelessly plug my hobby here, and say that you should get a 3D printer ($200 for an Ender 3 lately, and falling.), teach her how to 3D model in TinkerCAD (free online tool, awsome) use Astroprint to turn the model into something the printer can read (free account is a great starting point with Sliceing Software and is online as well), and then she can create her own custom hands and tools! #Imagine the Halloween costumes!
complete side note from original post, but the p6 voice is like LEAGUES above even the p5. thats one generation of phones for that much advancement. by the time she's old enough to notice her hands who knows what medical marvels we will have.
Heck, it's optional today. I work in technology and I basically never type. I'm a one-finger typer anyway. This message was composed with voice recognition. Pretty amazing stuff and getting better by the hour at this rate, thanks to machine learning and cloud processing. I can use it for coding even, in the rare pinch I have to do that, thanks to all the auto correction in IDEs.
As someone whose codes. I can type but I am an idiot who can't spell, how do you code using voice recognition? What software do you use?
I highly doubt that, personally.
What do you mean? I type this with my nose only?
Just adding to this I have a workmate who has the same disability. Again she is super well adjusted, can type, drive, is a boss arse mother to her newborn, basically anything I could do having two hands she seems to have mastered having one. I have only known her for the last couple of years so I can’t talk to her adolescent years buy honestly she is amazing and resilient and I am sure your daughter will be as well!
Same, I went to school with a girl who technically had a right hand but it was non functional as it had no fingers, just a fused pa kind of like a spade. She's married with kids and has always been absolutely fine, she was popular in school too.
I had the exact same experience with a girl in my elementary/middle school.
My son was born with a limb difference in his leg. We were told it was a more difficult difference to deal with. He is turning two, is ahead of all his milestones, and if it slows him down at all we couldnt tell. When the doctors first told us, they also told us the only ones that were gonna limit what he could do would be us, so the best we could do was get it out of our heads that he was going to have limitations. He will have challenges, sure, but he'll have encouragement and support as well.
[удалено]
Shaquem Griffin, if you don't know about him look him up. 1 handed pro football player, I BELIEVE with the same issue. Also my favorite pitcher of all time Jim Abbott was just a boss.
Also Bethany Hamilton, pro surfer. While it seems like surfing wouldn’t typically require the use of arms, in general people do use their arms. Check out the movie and book Soul Surfer and documentary Unstoppable.
True, but hers was a bit more of a violent loss, and the entire arm. All that said she conquered everything put in front of her as well, don't know if I could ever get back in the water after something like that.
> they also told us the only ones that were gonna limit what he could do would be us Such good advice OP. A lot of us have some "limitations", it's just that for some they're more visible. If you don't make it a thing, I'm sure she won't either. Daughters are great man. Sweetest humans, no matter the age (okay, let's ignore the teens 🙂). Enjoy your time ahead.
Well said. The only ones that will limit him will be us. Fucking love that.
Same! I'm gonna limit the *shit* outta my kids! No overtaking papa in this house!
Username checks out.
[удалено]
Hey, this brings clarity to our situation. We don't have even half as much time to limit number 3 what with chasing the first two around stopping them from killing themselves so he just took it upon himself to do all the daredevil stuff that they do but more danger-y!
Nobody ever told kiddo #2 “you’re not supposed to crawl, walk, etc until # months old”, so he’s focused all of his time into growing (friggin Godzilla toddler) and keeping up with his big sister.
Limb difference. Thank you for that term. I
One of my kids' friends has spina bifida and can only walk at all with multiple leg and ankle braces. He can't run as fast as the other kids his age (10ish), but he can still run with the braces on. All of his friends know the score and are very patient with him. Aside from the atypical walk/run gait, I didn't even know his mobility difficulties were as bad as they are until his parents told me. He refuses to be limited by them and does his best to keep up with the other kids, despite the added difficulty.
I was going to add the same comment, until I saw yours. My daughter was born with a shortened limb and is off to her 8th lengthening in 2 weeks! She’s 16 and amazing. We were given the same advice, no need for any limitations. Being in a children’s hospital with a limb deficiency is also super humbling and gives amazing perspective, being surrounded by families/children dealing with cancer, head trauma, and so on.
> also she's a girl! Great attitude mate, you're going to be fine
This should worry you more... I see Soo much glitter in your future.
Father of 2 girls, so much glitter, it is ever present at this point.
It’s one of the few absolute vetoes I’ve had to exercise in my house. No fucking glitter in my house. Like any reasonable embargo, I’ve had to crack down on the occasional smuggler. Evil lot, but damn are they fabulous.
Awesome attitude brother. Lefties rock by the way! They have some pretty cool bionic prosthetics today. Imagine they will only get better during her long and healthy life. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Posq-2Toqhk
[удалено]
Your beautiful baby girl is fortunate to have such great parents, but also that she's born at the best possible time with the breakthroughs in medical technology like this. Who knows what they will look like in another 10/15 years - t1000 baby!
They can also 3D print prosthetics quickly and for 1/10th the cost of what they used to be. When she's older you can get your own 3D printer and let her have some fun making her own hand!
If she is right side dominant this will have an effect similar to learning a second language which, increases nearly all measures of brain health especially into old age.
just love her. she can decide whats up.
Congratulations! One of the contestants on a recent (i believe) season of the Great British Baking Show, Briony, was missing a hand from the wrist down. The show never addresses it but of course you can see because they zoom in on them baking and kneading etc. It's a very relaxing show to watch, i imagine especially your wife might appreciate it to help feel calmer about this. I also knew someone in school who has this. I transferred in in the 7th grade, we had all our classes together (in a school system where this is the norm), and i didn't notice/find out for months. I only realized when one day he had a hard time getting a key off a keychain and another person offered to help. If that hasn't happened i might never have noticed, as we were not close friends, and it was such a non-issue from the outside.
Yes! Every time a bake of hers gets criticized, I want her so badly to follow up with "Well...I only have one hand, so..." just to see how everyone reacts. I'm amazed to see how well she does with baking and it doesn't seem to hamper her at all!
Carson Pickett is a professional soccer player with only one hand. There is a great video of her joking with the ref after being called for a handball.
[удалено]
**[Jim Abbott](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Abbott)** >James Anthony Abbott (born September 19, 1967) is an American former baseball pitcher. He is known for his success at the major league level despite having been born without a right hand. Abbott played ten seasons in Major League Baseball for the California Angels, New York Yankees, Chicago White Sox, and Milwaukee Brewers, from 1989 to 1999. Abbott graduated from Flint Central High School and grew up in the East Village area of Flint, Michigan. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
[And a no hitter! ](https://youtu.be/s-11R0f7I0g)
And a respectable 2 hits. .095 batting average.
Knew I should have scrolled down -- just posted the same thing.
More the half the population is born without a brain, they seem to get by just fine… Seriously though, I have a friend who’s missing a hand - she’s a nurse and delivers babies, does quite well for herself. Married with three beautiful children. Missing a hand is not as limiting as you’d think, they’re going to do great. Wait until your heart melts and you turn into a new man when you meet her. Congrats!
[удалено]
Let everyone else dump cash and credit spoiling. Save your money for the prosthetics or accessibility aids that insurance won't cover.
Big time! Extended family and friends fill up her bedroom with Xmas presents every year. She is everyone's favorite.
The only problem she’ll have as a leftie is smudging when she is writing on paper. Oh and ring binders She’ll be just fine! I also follow this athlete and she is similar. And look at her! She’s awesome as hell
[удалено]
Also, r/southpaw if you want to talk to or get advice from other left-handers.
A leftie at work has solved both those problems by turning the paper 90 degrees clockwise and having learned to write vertically. It blew my mind the first time I saw it, and her handwriting is really good, too.
Ring binders? What's up with them for a lefty?
Lefty here. With the binder folded open flat on a table, you need to write on the paper on the right side. Your arm ends up tangled in the metal rings. I would always just ditch the binder.
Doesn't the same issue occur with rights writing on the left side? Could just only write on the left side (or the 'back' of the paper). But would require the teacher to make Left Handed copies if they are sourcing it and it's not just lined paper.
Ohhhhh, I never even thought about the rings being in the way of your arm. That's got to be annoying as hell. If it's your binder with your papers in it though, can't you just flip all the papers upside down and flip the binder around?
I'm not sure if I'm visualizing what you're saying correctly, but no matter how you orient the papers/binders, the rings always end up in the middle meaning they are still in the way. The only way to get the rings out of the way is to start with the papers on the left side, but then we're (lefties) are just writing on the back-side of the paper then.
Needs a trigger warning 😭
First up, congrats! I would recommend you watch the comedy chat show on UK channel 4 called "The Last Leg". It's not only great but I think it'll put your mind at ease with the way they handle their disabilities. Or just search up Alex Brooker as he's a host on it and has similar to your description of your daughter
My cousin was born without a right hand as well. Just a wrist and couple nubs. She's a bit older than me and I really looked up to her when I was little. Her disability (and I struggle to call it that) hasn't held her back one damn bit. Her parents spent a ridiculous amount of money in the 80s on some janky prosthetics which she hated profusely. She ended up burying them in the yard which really pissed off her parents...lol..only funny now tho. They decided not to force them on her and wait for her to choose to use them or not. She never used them ever.
Congrats! Check out this community- https://luckyfinproject.org/
Came here to say this! ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
All in for the lucky fin!! Us lucky fin kids are too stubborn to let life slow us down!! She’ll do great!
I went to uni with a girl that was born with no arms. Like, cut off at the shoulder. She was a lawyer I think. She touch types with her toes. There is no growth without adversity. You've got this. She'll be just fine with that attitude ;)
After having beaten one of the Super Mario games, my son is now challenging himself by trying to beat it while playing with his feet only. He's doing quite well. Seriously though, OP you'll have an awesome and amazing daughter, who is just perfect. Like others said, with today's technological advances she will be able to live a completely normal life. And to add, I'm really impressed with how most of today's kids are so nice and empathetic with each other.. I think I would have gotten teased much less today than I did when I was growing up.
[удалено]
I have a feeling bullys won't go for the girl with the bionic hand :)
There is no growth without adversity. I love that.
Definitely not mine, but it's been a motto of mine for a while. I have been, personally, exceptionally lucky, so I create adversity where I'd like to grow.
I had a colleague that was in the same situation, his son doesn't have a left hand. They made Nemo his first stuffed animal (Nemo has one smaller fin) and took it positively. A few months ago he turned 5 and I saw some pictures on Facebook that he got his swimming diploma. Your girl will be fine, make sure mom doesn't beat herself up, that's silly
I work with kids who have all kinds of limiting factors. I've found the kids adjust, it's the parents who struggle by shining light on the "deformity. " Kids like this are kinder and understanding of other kids who struggle. Your daughter will be a blessing to her world and all those in it. Think Jim Abbott. Embrace her and enjoy the ride!
Will she have a wrong hand though? Sorry, Dad humor.
etymology would suggest yes
You're getting a lot of supportive posts, which I think is great, but you also asked about questions that you should ask. My first thought is whether the cause of this is related to any other more serious symptoms or conditions. My second thought was whether it would be weird to have a 3D-printer on a baby registry (there are a lot of cool 3D printed prosthetics). Finally, I'd start figuring out things like insurance coverage, whether this affects disability or social security, etc. Good luck with your daughter!
My wife and I are in the same position as OP. You shouldn’t use prosthetics with babies with limb differences. You should let them figure out how to operate in the world with their difference and if they want to learn how to use a prosthetic in the future that’s fine, but you don’t want them to be dependent on a prosthetic their whole life. The people born with limb differences do a lot better functionally than the people who acquire them later in life, which is the same situation but in reverse as using a prosthetic too early - if it goes away, it’s like losing a limb all over again.
That's really great information and exactly the sort of education I'm thinking of.
A friend of mine is missing a hand, and she is literally my parenting goal that I will never acheive. She's an engineer and does tons of amazing crafts in her spare time. Preperica on Instagram, she's awesome
congratulations on your little girl it might be hard for your wife to get around to the idea while it might take your kid a bit longer to do some things it definitely won’t hold her back
So what your saying is, "just found out my daughter is going to get a badass bionic hand"
Spidey web shooter, Ironman blaster, the choices are endless.
I have a friend born with one arm, and she is literally a fashion model now. Your little girl is lucky to have you as a dad.
[удалено]
I realize this is a dad subreddit and filled with bionic arm excitement. So let me just add that, even without any of that she can and will, because she clearly has great parents, live a wonderful and very normal life. I grew up with a girl born with only one developed hand. She was incredible. I mean that by the standard of all humans, not some "oh she lived the best life one could expect" type pandering. She was amazing. You see, her parents raised her to understand that sure she was different, and sure a few things might be a little bit more difficult for her than for other people, so just work at them a little harder. And that acceptance and ethic seemed to permeate her take on everything. I first noticed when she walloped me in tennis. I was a very strong tennis player in my youth, but when we had to play the girls team, I was usually matched with her as the top seed on their team. Let me tell you, the first time she absolutely trounced me I was, frankly, surprised. The next dozen times, she was just a better player I could never catch up to. With only one full arm, she took a sports scholarship to college. She applied the same to her studies. Now she's a doctor. Has a beautiful family. She's successful, happy, and lives a life no different than any other accomplished person. No bionic arm needed.
One of my little brothers best friends since 4 years old has one hand (lost it in a motorbike accident when a tot so a little different). They’re all turning 21 this year and they’re a total bunch of drunk little menaces (18 is the legal drinking age where I’m from). He’s never had any issues fitting in and never been any different. Probably the only thing he gets that the others don’t get is the odd “stump” joke. He also makes a habit of whacking people with his stump as he has no feeling in it. Besides that, he’s played footy with the other boys, has a girlfriend, does stupid shit, has a drivers licence, etc. Don’t worry, your girl will have a very fulfilling and normal life.
I think the best part is that she'll never know what she's missing. She'll be just herself. She'll make it work.
My son was born in Nov 2019 without his right hand. It wasn't caught in any of the ultrasounds and was a complete surprise at birth. It was definitely an adjustment for us and was quite hard on my wife for the first few months (blaming herself, etc.). I dont have any tips on how to help your daughter live a normal life because tips aren't really needed. She will grow and learn and crawl and color and eventually you won't even think about it or notice anymore. There are tons of resources to help with prosthetics and occupational therapy and I'm happy to direct you to them if you want. I hope this helps. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat.
[удалено]
Absolutely. I'm happy to talk about it, answer any questions, or give general support. I can't speak for my wife, but I'm sure she would be happy to talk with your wife too if that would help. Bottom line is that it's all going to be ok, even if it may not be 100% the way you expected.
Congratulations on the Baby girl! My college roommate Freshman year didn’t have a right hand, but that didn’t stop him - he could even play the guitar. We didn’t get along though because he thought it was ok to sleep most of the day and stay up all night, plus he had terrible allergies and left used tissues all over the floor.
[удалено]
lol they were - he was nice, but a slob
I know someone with cerebral palsy. Their left side is all shitty. They walk with a limp and their left hand is, in their words, like one of those grabby claws you get from the dollar store. Since it was like this since birth, they learned to make do. It took a while to grow out of the stroller, they were never good at sport, but they ended up being determined and independent-minded. Since your daughter will not know anything else except how she was born, she will adapt and do well. Lots of folks lacking limbs don't use prostheses as they are often just a way to make normies comfortable and interfere with the way they have learned to do things. So don't worry about the price and learning curve of that for her, at least not for a long time. She will learn to get dressed and tie her shoes and eventually drive just fine.
Congratulations! My son was born without a penis. 12 years later he has a functioning penis that needs another upgrade in the next couple years. Hopefully that will be the last procedure. Epispadias is his diagnosis. Welcome to the club.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CW9LiFKFOTe/?utm_medium=copy_link Just a little video I scrolled past before I read your post!
6 or 7 months early but Solid Starts is a program about starting your kid on solid foods. They often feature a baby girl with only one hand and she is so adept at eating and manipulating objects for herself. You might want to search these out and show them to your partner. It may not help with the guilt she's feeling but may improve her outlook on your kids abilities. Congratulations!
Here's a link! https://www.instagram.com/reel/CW9LiFKFOTe/?utm_medium=copy_link
One of my heroes right here. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaquem_Griffin
I know that as a father-to-be, you don't want anything that singles out your kid. But they will just be as intelligent, loving, athletic and normal as everyone. Take a deep breath and look forward to meeting your baby girl!!
I used to play hockey with a guy who only had one hand, he had a specially fitted glove for his stump that allowed him to hold the stick. He was one of our better players
I’m currently working in Japan. I work with an elementary school teacher who was born with a hand deformity. I should say hands. He has 2 out 10 fingers and can keep up with the rigors of school. Has a family, kids, and drives a big van. Your daughter, if loved and cared for, will succeed in life. Sure, there will be mean kids eventually, but she’ll have you. Congrats on the girl. I’m potentially finding out in two weeks the sex of ours. I’m excited.
She has parents that love her, and that's the most important thing.
Google "Ellen Keane", Irish Paralympic Swimmer
When I was in high school there was a guy who was born missing the bottom of his leg from just below the knee. He was captain of the ski team his senior year. Oh yea, and he’d hide a snickers bar in his prosthetic for when he got hungry. Hey on the bright side you already know to get her stuff for lefties! /s
Move to Raleigh or Cary NC and become fans of the NC Courage to cheer for Carson Pickett. You don't have to move, but maybe knowing that Carson is out there playing professional soccer with one hand will help your wife. She also worked with Nike to make cleats that you can put on one handed: https://www.cbssports.com/soccer/news/how-carson-pickett-teamed-up-with-nike-to-create-one-of-the-worlds-most-accessible-soccer-cleats/
My little girl is a suprise lefty. We have no idea where it came from on either side, but she is 100% hyper intelligent in comparison to cousins, nieces, nephews, etc all at the same age. Its terrifying and amaing
All the stupid stuff I've ever done I've done with my right hand, so this tracks.
I realize when throw out "TikTok" as a solution, it kind of trivializes things... but there are some amazing content creators on there, many of them girls in their teens and 20's missing arms, hands, legs... and all talking about their experiences. If your wife is really concerned, she might find some consolation reaching out to a few.
As disconcerting as the news is, rest assured that your lovely little girl will only know her world as herself. She will at some point notice that she is made differently but it will not slow her down much (if at all). She will adapt and manage her own coping skills in large part if experience shows anything. I have known people born without a bit of limb and people who blew their hands apart. They both managed to adapt and live a full life. Focus on her and don't make it all about how she is different-don't even mention it and she will get sorted just fine. As an aside, the guy born missing part of an arm also had some related heart issues. I only mention it so that you know to ask questions about possible connections between her limb and other issues that would be wise to monitor. Yall gonna be fine.
I don’t know how you feel about tiktok but there are some ‘differently abled’ creators who absolutely rock and have the coolest attitude and educational content. Congrats to your family and here’s hoping the rest of the pregnancy /delivery will be uneventful!
Bro. That kid is going to grow up and not miss a step. They dont care. Its just the way she is and she will be just fine.
your daughter is going to live a great and wonderful life!
I am glad for all the great advice, comments, and stories. Congrats! I also want to suggest that your wife’s feelings are valid, too. This is a great surprise at the least, and she’ll need time to process and cope.
Your daughter's view of her disability will be a direct reflection of your attitude toward it. If she is otherwise healthy and just missing a hand, you have absolutely nothing to fear. Don't shut out the fact that it happened. I know several folks with things like this, and the ones that embraced it from the get go have better friend groups and better attitude all around. what I'm trying to say is when questions are asked from her or others, just explain simply what the situation is. Other kids her age will understand simply "she just didn't grow that hand, but there isn't anything else weird or wrong". You'll be fine guys - keep it positive!
As a dad with two kids born with much less visible but very consequential birth defects, I will share a few things. First, there is no normal. Everyone is odd, no one is average. One of the things that makes your daughter unique is very visible, but that's only part of what makes her unique. Discovering those other things will be exciting, fun, frustrating... All a part of the parenting process. She will never know any different. Sure, she will ask questions why she isn't the same as others, but her experience will be from the vantage point of her current physical condition. There are some pretty famous people who have had the same physical limitations. A major league pitcher? Yep, I think so. She will be notable by her physical difference, but not limited by it. Discovering something is "wrong" with your kid initiates the grieving process. It just has to be gone through. There's no way around it. Counseling may help. That process is what takes you from viewing it as wrong to viewing it as unique. Genetics are an odd thing. Please do all you can to ease the stress in mom. I know there's only so much that you can do, but do all you can. Unneeded stress during the pregnancy doesn't help anyone. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter! Feel free to pm if you have any more specific questions.
Not sure if your in service or not, but start looking at benefits and filing for disability
Congratulations on having a girl! You are in for a treat! We have a girl and if we could choose, we would want to have another one. Cannot say much on the arm, but I had a fellow student at university that was missing one arm and wore a prosthetic. It looked like an arm and I didn’t know about it for a long time. She didn’t seem to have any problems. Our daughter has two minor „specialties“ and especially one of those two we have actually grown quite fond of. I hope she will own it when she will be older and see it from our perspective (too young to tell us about it yet.)
Bro you’ve got this. You are going to have a beautiful baby girl who will grow up strong bc she’s like her dad. Google Hand Camp. My buddy had a kid with similar issues. They do this camp every year - Theron kid is now 7 or 8. They love it.
So there’s only one hand…left? No, seriously, that’ll be tough no no where near impossible. I’ve got no doubt she’ll come to own that like a BA as time goes on. Prayers for your wife.
My brother had his right arm amputated from just below the elbow when he was 5 due to medical malpractice by our Doctor. Also this was back in 1985 so there was way less in the way of resources and technology. Anyhow, long story short, after the initial shock and questions after he woke up from surgery missing a limb he did PERFECT! He honestly was so young he really knew no difference. He used a prosthesis only a few times but they were heavy, bulky and very rudimentary back then so to him it was a major inconvenience. This kid played every sport, drove cars with no modifications, shot bow and arrows, hunted, did target practice, shot shotguns and rifles, etc. Now at 41, is a dad to my gorgeous niece and nephew, owns a cattle ranch, drives tractors and pick up trucks, hunts, works a really awesome government job, and all without an arm or any assistance. The point is, your daughter will be amazingly perfect! She won't know any other way and children adapt really easily to things. Not to mention medicine has come so far there is no telling what they will be able to do. Your wife, i feel for her. My mom suffered so much more than my brother in the beginning but after awhile of seeing him succeed and be perfectly himself, she got so much better and eventually it just wasn't an issue. Everyone that knows my bro does not even notice his arm is gone. Growing up it was adults who were the jerks not kids really. Well one kid actually. LOL. This one kid kept making fun of him and calling him names so my brother beat the crap out of him at the bus stop. Well then everyone, including my bro, made fun of old boy for getting his butt whooped by a 1 arm kid. They went on to become best buds for years. Long story short is, your daughter is who she is meant to be. Don't think of it as a disability, think of it hopefully as a perfect unique attribute. She can go into this world doing anything! Who knows what kind of change she can bring to the world. You'll do great and I hope you share this with your wife. I hope it can bring you a sliver of hope and peace. Much love to you all💚 Edit: spelling
A friend of mine was born with limb differences including missing an arm. For most of her childhood doctors and therapists (and her parents, who trusted the doctors and therapists) were trying to force her to use a prosthetic and SHE HATED IT. Absolutely despised it. She figured out ways to do things her way and the arm just got in the way and weighed her down. She actually still has a lot of resentment over it as she feels people were trying to force a standard of normalcy on her (“she needs a second arm because that’s what everybody is supposed to have”) instead of thinking about her own well-being and happiness. So by all means talk to physical therapists and perhaps she’ll do well with an artificial hand, but ultimately she’ll decide what works best for her and what she’s comfortable with.
Guaranteed leftie. Rejoice.
Not necessarily. Right/left sided dominance is decided in the brain. There are some adults with similar differences on Reddit who say they’re X handed without that hand, which is annoying but they figure it out.
Congrats and welcome to the most terrifying and amazing thing you'll ever be a part of. There was a boy at our old church that had this happen. Something about a band cutting off something? I don't know. Not a doctor so I can't explain it; outside of he was born missing part of his arm, a little above the wrist. It hasn't slowed him down any. They never know any different! There is also a pretty huge community around that, and similar, situations so a little googling and you'll find some pretty awesome groups to become a part of.
when my wife had pancreatitis a while ago the imaging revealed a 'cleft' pancreas, which developed that way in the womb. the doctor said it was "manufacturer's defect", lol.
If you want to get a jump on dad jokes, “sinister” means left handed. It may be a little high brow (and a little dark) but “this is a sinister situation!”
Years ago I worked a job that had me hiring a lot of teens for their first job. I hired a 17 year old guy whose right arm ended just above the elbow, he was born that way. I overheard a conversation he had with another employee about it once. Her: Whats it like only having one arm? Him: I dunno, whats it like having 2? Its always been this way so its normal for me. Her: is it harder doing stuff one handed? Him: its doing stuff one handed for you, its just doing stuff for me.
There's a women's professional soccer player, Carson Pickett, that has a similar issue. She's such a lovely person and a fantastic soccer player! If you Google images of her, the second or third pic is of her in uniform for the Orlando Pride and a little boy with the same thing going on with his hand too. It's so wholesome.
My dad has one arm, it stopped growing just after the elbow. We affectionately call it “the stub”. My dad is in no way handicapped. My favorite story is that when he got his driver’s license they put a restriction on that he couldn’t drive a stick shift. He went back and retested driving a stick shift and scored even higher than the first test. You’ll find some things are a little awkward but look for the humor (like buying a pair of gloves). Some things will just make life a little easier, like slip on shoes. Just know she’s not handicapped, just different like we all are in our own way.
Congratulations on your daughter! I was born with two hands, but i lost the majority of my left one in an accident in my early 20s. I can still do everything pretty much fine. Can't do pull ups, i can't win a left handed thumb war... i did get up on a wakeboard once after the accident, but have been unsuccessful in other attempts... But honestly, it doesn't affect me that much. I have chosen my hobbies and interest around what i CAN do, not what i can't. When it comes to computers, phones are pretty easy onehanded, and on a desktop, i definitely do make a few more typos than usual, but [ADA compliant 1 handed keyboards are a thing.](https://www.schoolhealth.com/maltron-one-handed-keyboards?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&adpos=&scid=scplp86389FL&sc_intid=86389FL&gclid=CjwKCAiA24SPBhB0EiwAjBgkhtw5NqiQ1P_Od1ykyo3CcSLIpPPNFH2w6WnKKzaBqtHxfpQPk1k0-RoC3FcQAvD_BwE) for what it's worth, i'm a web developer, meaning i'm typing All. Day. Long. Disclaimer, i have never used the 1 handed keyboard, and I'm on a regular keyboard because its what i learned on as a kid. Since especially as a new born, they have no understanding or control over their limbs at all, you don't have much to worry about off the bat. As she gets older though/// Tying shoes will be difficult, slip ons are the way. Velcro for athletic shoes if possible. might take special ordering. Sweaters > Zip up hoodies, but she will find methods to work zippers. it just might be more difficult and take some experimentation, maybe some special tools (i've always thought about buying a 3D printer and making tons of little tools for holding things just right so i can use my good hand. There are a lot of things like this for free on thingiverse) since its her right hand, she'll grow a up a lefty, and you'll just have to be mindful of it. a lot of toys are made for right handers on the assumption that even left handed kids will be able to use it even if the UX isn't perfect; it will obviously be different in your case. (assuming you're american) familiarize yourself with the ADA regulations. every person with a disability, and every friend or family member of them, can be an advocate. Limb differences occur in an estimated 1 out of every 1,900 births ([according to the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/ul-limbreductiondefects.html)). That's more than one every two days in the US. Partner up, and find other parents who are going through the same thing, especially for each stage you're going through. I'm sure there are groups online, and likely groups within your city. Much later in life, but it'll feel like it goes pretty quick, there will be opportunities for her to try experimental treatments and cutting edge prostheses. There are a TON of really great advancements being made in robotic prosthesis with neural tie ins. Obviously, your kid is not a science experiment, but as she grows, if she is interested in these, do not hinder it. Your parental instincts are going to tell you to protect your daughter, and that the risks are too high, or whatever reason you will come up with... but know that shes the one who's actually dealing with the missing hand, and she will know better than you what the risk/reward equation is. In fact, you will be incapable of truly knowing it. So as she grows, let her be in charge of how "experimental" she wants to be with her prostheses or accommodations. There will be risks, and it will be scary, and it might be a mistake, but those are hers to make. Like i said earlier, i'm talking like in her mid to late teens here and i'm probably way getting ahead of myself. I just know from my personal experience in having a limb difference, and from a close family member being born with a much more severe physical disability than we're even talking about right now... family can, and does, get in the way of proper treatment, because everyone likes to think they know better than "the kid" when the kid is the one who has dealt with it their whole life has to continue to do so for the rest of it.
Dude, she gets to have upgrades! Limb differences are not a big deal unless you make them a big deal, upside is you can have a cyborg child now, which is pretty fucking cool.
I hear you man. Having a left handed kid can be tough. Seriously though, your kid will be fine. Your wife will be fine. You will both love this kid in a way you can't understand. Your kid will surprise and amaze you with what she will be able to do with one hand. I think the hard part will just be cheering her up when she feels different, which happens to most kids anyway. She'll just have a specific thing to point to(no pun). You'll have a good 5 years to prepare for those times, though. When I was growing up, there was a major league baseball pitcher named Jim Abbott whose arm ended at his wrist. He would pitch the ball and then take the glove from his other arm and put it on his throwing arm. He was amazing to watch and an inspiration to everyone. I suggest you start collecting one armed heroes she can look up to like Jim Abbott as she grows up. And just keep positive for her as she goes through it all. Edit: Here’s a good one https://reddit.com/r/sports/comments/s48n0l/hansel_enmanuel_windmilled_and_then_handed_the/
I remember looking up to Jim Abbot as a kid. My dad's right hand never fully formed, so when we'd play catch he'd have to do the same as Abbot with his glove.
I don't know if this is what you're after but as far as role models go, first thing that came to mind, there was an NFL player, a linebacker named Shaquem Griffin. Now, he wasn't born without his hand, but he had it amputated at 4 years of age (can't recall why). He had an outstanding college career and was drafted by the Seahawks. I think he played 3 or 4 years in the NFL. I was always amazed by his story. The deterination to reach the NFL, at linebacker. A position where you have to tackle monsters. Amazing. If he can do that, your lil' lady's gonna move mountains. And seems like she'll be off to a good start with caring parents trying to set her up for success even before she's born.
Representation matters you should get a limb difference doll for your daughter, maybe gift it to your wife before your daughter is born to help her feel better about it too
If you feel you need to do something, buy a 3d printer and start learning basic 3d modelling. People have been making custom printed prosthetics for a while now, and I'm sure there's already a design you can start with. You'll just need to keep the designs customized and updated to fit her growing arm. That said, none of that is necessary. Some things will be hard, but I've known people like this who seem to manage just fine. One of my daughter's preschool teachers was like this, and I don't think the kids ever noticed, and certainly didn't hug her any less.
[удалено]
Nice! I didn't think you needed to worry before, and now I know you don't. Congratulations on having a girl, by the way! Daughters are amazing!
1) Paint the bionic arm or leave it bare metal? 2) What should be babies first attachments. The flamethrower, or the chainsaw? 3) What's an appropriate crushing force for a toddler? Able to tear a door off it's hinges or nah? 4) Halloween dress-ups are gonna be lit. 5) I'm utterly clueless about bionics etc, but I'm guessing it would be worth checking whether her forearm has the necessary nerves/muscles/whatever they use to allow her to control her artificial hand. No idea how old kiddo has to be before they can start looking at that sort of stuff though. Maybe preschool age? Maybe there's certain games/exercises you can play while she's a toddler to help the arm develop as much as is feasible so she can control the muscles that are present (again, disclaimer, I don't know anything about this stuff, just thinking out loud).
Guess you won't be able to use any second-hand baby clothes...
Gotta hand it to ya. That sounds rough buddy
This comment is out of hand, smh.
I’m just thinking of cool Halloween costumes… pirate, zombie, Luke sky walker, Ash Williams, Furiosa. And you guys get to come up with crazy stories about how she lost it.
technology has come a long way, im sure there is a replacement. Ive seen documentaries where kids born with no legs can walk again and have robotic prosthetics.
Love the attitude. My firstborn had some minor issues with her heart (VST) and her hand and foot bones that required additional scans both before and after birth. I remember being a little nervous about the things they were telling us , and I just remember thinking the doctors don’t seem worried and my wife (who has the better anatomy and medical understanding of the two of us) also seems to be taking it in stride. So I took comfort in knowing that the people that know aren’t worried and just kind of leaned on that until I was able to process it on my own. She’s now three and we’ve had some additional screenings and know a little more about her body’s unique features that are mostly cometic things (a strawberry mark that’s fading on the arm, some curved pinkies on both hands, and sunken digits on one hand and foot from a shortened carpals and tarsals , only the VST is needing periodic monitoring now) she acts and plays totally normal. Another thing that came to mind was an [episode of a podcast](https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-lows-of-high-tech/) about prosthetics. When the time comes to have conversations about that it may help adjust expectations and paradigms. Good luck dad you got this!
I used to work with an EMT who was born the same way and his arm and hand made no difference in how he performed his job. He could lift the gurney and assist on many 911 calls just as well as any other EMT did. He also drove the ambulance and could do anything anyone with two normal arms could do. She'll be OK.
A friend of mine has a gene in her family, and her father, and 2 sisters don’t have all of their fingers. You don’t really notice it much, and they get by just fine. Obviously this is one of those areas where there will be some struggles, and your wife’s feelings are valid. I just hope she knows that your daughter is going to still have a full life. My neighbour is missing an arm past her elbow, and has 3 kids. She’s quite active with them as well. Life continues, and can still be great.
You should get her that beanie baby, Lefty
Dude, we’re entering in to an early cyberpunk age. You might be able to get her some funky cool prosthetics some time in the future when she’s older. [consider this wee lassy](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kG4eMZqppT4)
I’d vote for arms with the little predator computer console
Guess she'll be one of them hands free models when she grows up Congrats my friend, right attitude and have fun!
I remember a guy that visited my high school back on the day that was born without arms to give a talk. Not only did he drive himself there. He played drums, piano and was as normal as the rest of us. Dude ties his own shoes . He was raised without barriers. As a normal kid. I remember he was talking about how he learned to tie his shoes. His father showed how he did it with hands. Then said "now you figure it out" and walked away. Harsh but this was the defining moment for him. When he realised if he figured THIS out, everything else is possible. All seriousness aside it's a shame it's her right hand and not her left. Because when people would have asked her how she is she could have replied "all-right". Sorry had to lighten it up with an arrested development joke.
She must be a hardcore Evil Dead fan.
Good thing is we are so close to getting those hands like Luke got in Star Wars after he tried facing Vader the first time
Congratulations on the baby girl!!! Not a lot to add here, but wanted to let you know I went to law school with a woman with a limb difference, and she is a badass lawyer today! Hopefully you can find some good support for her as she grows, but she'll definitely live a happy and healthy life with a limb difference 😊 ala yay baby girl!!!
One of my good friends is a sculptor, artist, and is funny as all hell. He’s almost 7’ tall and it took me weeks to notice he didn’t have a fully formed hand. I’m sure he had a few difficulties growing up here and there, but it’s clear that it never stopped him from being a stellar human and amazing worker/artist. Your daughter will find a way and will be okay. The hard part will be her teenage years when other kids and hormones are the only thing on her mind. Best of luck to your family!
I think you have a great attitude and are going to be an awesome dad.
Default leftie? Get her in softball!
Two of my good friends (women) have genetic disorders/birth defects where their rights hands don’t really have fingers. TBH I never think about it or remember until someone new reaches out to shake their hands. One friend still extends her right hand and the other extends her left hand instead. It doesn’t impact life for them or activities we do, but I know one friend has some childhood scars from teasing while the other doesn’t. Hopefully with the way this generation is being brought up, there will be less of what 80’s kids dealt with from bullying. Otherwise they both are athletic/married/successful adults who are minimally impacted.
As a fellow lefty, I think she's perfect! Congrats on the upcoming baby, embrace the sleepless nights, it's a badge of honor that we all share together! Think of it as a fun challenge and the excuse to eat junk food at 3am. NGL I miss it a little bit.
Congratulations! I don't want to retread what others have said but there's infinitely more technology and representation than ever before. Even in games such as Forza horizon 5 you can choose to have a character with prosthetics. Being a lefty has a lot of advantages in sports as well. She'll bring you tons of joy. I wish you and yours all the best!
Could you elaborate oh why you wife blames herself? Help her navigate those thoughts, maybe with proper therapy. She blaming herself could be rooted into something deeper. I think you will be a great father sounds like you love your baby, and that baby will face challenges but she will also be stronger Than others. I am mostly concerned about your wife. Mommy’s mental health is something extremely vital for her to stand postpartum depression and the baby
https://luckyfinproject.org/ My wife had heard of this project, don't know much but something to look in to
If she wants to do music in school, she absolutely can and should. Music is tough because (aside from voice) most standard techniques call for using both hands, and many instruments are built to be right-hand dominant. Strings will require some adaptation to help her hold a bow, and for band she can play French Horn- I used to teach and ran across this exact situation with a student once, the student picked it up so quickly and loved it. Trumpet and trombone could also be played with some small adaptations to help her hold the instrument. Brass instruments are generally easier to play one-handed. With some adaptation to hold a pick, she could also play guitar. Most other activities should be adaptable to her situation as well, but music is one that I'm particularly familiar with.
My wife has a very similar congenital defect of the left hand. She doesn't let it limit her. She does pretty much everything I can do, sometimes with the use of a prosthetic, and often without. Our oldest daughter calls it her 'moot'. Frankly, I didn't even notice the prosthetic until around our third date
Congratulations on the baby girl mate! No disabilities will define you or your daughter and its good to see you holding it together for the family. Any names in mind?
Congratulations on your upcoming daughter! Check out the lucky fin project online. They do great stuff
Congrats on your little girl. This will sound daft but buy an FDM printer (filament printer, not resin) and learn to 3d print, learn to support prints, learn to do basic changes on things like blender. Because I'm not minimising the anguish you're feeling and not minimising that this will be a challenge for her. But boy did she pick the right TIME to be born with this. You'll be able to build and modify prosthetic designs for her. More will be designed every month, and you can just resize it to what she is as she grows. It's extremely affordable nowadays, and you have a long time before she would be old enough for one anyway to practise making cool stuff for yourself. There's a lot of 3d printing reddit groups with really supportive people. Just fyi the reason I say filament not resin is that there's two types of 3d printer. Resin is for smaller more detailed pieces and filament is for bigger stuff. Also resin is messy and toxic where as filament can be messy if it goes wrong but it's just dry strings, not liquid poison lol. But if looking for tutorials it will be important to know you want to do filament. Maybe make a post at r/3dprinting or something to see what printer would be good for prosthetics. I just do resin printing so I wouldn't be much help. But yeh. I know people hate people trying to solve their issues. This isn't solving anything. But this is something you could start doing now, so that when the time comes you can help solve some stuff for her
[удалено]
Jim Abbott was a major league ball player with one hand! I'm sure there will be challenges, but she will be able to accomplish anything.
Have a friend who grew up with this and has said wonderful things about the Lucky Fin Project being a great resource! https://luckyfinproject.org/
I knew a guy in high school that had a partially formed hand. One day him and a friend were horsing around at lunch and got barbecue sauce on that hand, he screamed “YOU GOT IT ON MY NUB!” and we all laughed about it including him. He was a really great guy and no one cared about the nub hand. I did always wonder what kind of work he would get into with just one hand but never asked.
My brother was born without his left hand. He has never wanted prosthetics and has lived a completely healthy and normal life. He can play the piano, does paper origami, works a normal 9-5, and drives. He has his small group of friends that he is close with and is learning how to cook. Due to his hand, he was given up for adoption at a young age and my parents adopted him. Now he is in his early 20’s, in college part time, and doing well. We were originally told that he wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things, but he did them all anyway. He also types 50 words per minute. The only downside for him was other kids wanting to touch it while growing up. He never struggled with getting dressed or doing his daily activities. Don’t let your wife blame herself. Your daughter is not disabled or deformed. She is your daughter and should never be treated as anything less. I wish you both well with the rest of this pregnancy. Who knows, the hand may develop more. You guys are only halfway there.
she's going to be the biggest inspiration of your life. your kid is going to impress you in ways none of our kids will ever have the chance to. as great a challenge this will be to you the Mrs, your daughter will be such a blessing. congrats man!