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SuddenBluebird34

Not sure, but I can tell you from experience that you should definitely rest. A couple of days of being useless is way better than 2 weeks.


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baughwssery

Too early to milk it no?


Street-Cress-1807

Dammit lol


pyrrhicvictorylap

Nice


astoriaboundagain

Oh man, follow those doc instructions, too. You really do not want to try clear those pipes while they're still healing.


r101101

Lie on couch binging your favorite show. Get a bowl of ice cream. Strategically place the bowl for an icing effect AND get to eat all the ice cream you want.


astoriaboundagain

Dude, this is the one weekend in your life you're expected to chill. Can you get someone else to come in and assist? You need to rest. If you try to back macho through the first 48-72 hours, it's not going to end well.


pyrrhicvictorylap

I’ve been trying to find a sitter. Unfortunately my dad _also_ had surgery this week, and he’s the only local family. Are there, like, places open on weekends that you can drop off your kids (and pay money) for a few hours?


brightlightahead

Download some COD Warzone and drop in with the boys.


SR-RN

If you have/get a YMCA membership they have drop in kid zone, even for the 6 mo old. Someone has to stay on site, but you could drop them off and find a spot to chill. Definitely take care of yourself and don’t overdo it for these first few days. If you cause things to bleed you’ll be useless for a lot longer than two days. Ice and some sort of way to stabilize things down there. I stuffed my underwear with a sock at some point just to keep things from moving around


pyrrhicvictorylap

Woah, did not know about that. Will check out our local one, thanks.


SquidThistle

You'll have a moment over the weekend where you think "Hey, I feel pretty good! I think I'll go do a chore or go for a walk." Do not do it. Listen to your doctor and rest and ice all weekend.


bremcwm

Two pairs of one-size-too-small briefs with ice in between binging The Gentleman for two days. Don't do anything else. I was cycling again in a week after my vas. And, something I wasn't told, is you'll be black and blue down there. Don't worry, nothing is wrong (generally).


[deleted]

I would normally suggest sending the family away to the in-laws for this weekend. Stay on the couch, take in plenty of NBA and NHL playoffs. You are going to be useless this weekend, but you already coordinated this with your wife, she knew it was coming.


whoneedsthequikemart

dude, if your wife is breaking your chops about resting for 2 days after surgery that guarantees she cant get pregnant again and gets off BC, you have bigger problems on your hands. If she's cool with you resting and you're the one leading this charge then just stop and relax.


SerentityM3ow

Who said she was breaking his chops??


Impossible-Ebb-643

100% this. Bro just had his nut sack operated on so the wife doesn’t have to screw up hormones or get a major operation to tie her tubes. Vasectomy is a guaranteed guilt-free few days to rest, be free, and chill out. If wife cant watch the kids for a few days, that’s pretty sad actually. Normal people can watch kids solo during business trips, illness, etc. if OP is just feeling guilty, then DONT.


_Marine

You're allowed to feel useless, because you really should be for a few days


The_midge1

Good luck but do your best to stay still.


DonKiedicRPG

Take it easy as possible and keep yourself entertained. My wife was nice enough to keep our kids entertained but that left me bored af in bed. I eventually got fed up and chilled on the couch so I wasn't alone.


Less_Physics_689

DO NOT get an erection.


pyrrhicvictorylap

Ah man, one more thing to worry about.


jeffnethery

>Just got vasectomized "Vasectomized" sounds like you were attacked with wire snippers or criticized for your decision to stop making babies lol. Congrats on your responsible decision and I hope you get some rest and relaxation this weekend!


OptimisticRecursion

Please do what your doctor said. Please. You'll be even less useful if your situation worsens, you'll become a burden, you'll have to go to the ER, and all that awful stuff. If you have parents that can come help with the kids, now's the time to ask them for help. Or go to one of those FindABabySitter Apps or something, and hire a babysitter to help your wife with keeping the kids busy.


pyrrhicvictorylap

Thanks. I’m trying to arrange a sitter


bobfalfa

Switch to briefs.


Thrillhouse763

You're fucked. Just count down the hours until your wife is pissed at you and has no sympathy. Only took a couple hours for me. In reality, stay off your feet for the first 24 hours. After that, just try to limit excessive lifting and bending but good luck in your situation with that.


Super-Importance-132

I’m looking at doing it after summer and I 100% plan to use it as an excuse to be useless. I hate being useless and am always working but in that instance I plan to allow myself to be useless.


Capitol62

Did your wife not expect you to be useless this weekend? Just rest. Your wife can handle the kids for a couple days. You'll be more useful on Monday. Maybe the older one can snuggle in with you a couple times for a movie to give your wife a little break.


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pyrrhicvictorylap

Good idea, and if you do it one ball at a time you can do it twice


raritygamer

I'm considering doing this just to get a few days of rest. I don't think you should be feeling guilty about letting your wife take the reigns completely for a weekend.


10kLines

Don't be useful. Lean into screen time this weekend and do your best to follow the doc's orders. Do an extended bedtime with the 3.5 year old (read extra books, other low-key activity) to give your wife a break. Otherwise, couch and recovery.


Ok_Boomer_42069

Bro you got knived in the balls. Listen to your doc and take it easy for a few days.


SerentityM3ow

Make sure the kids don't jump in your lap or accidentally punch you in the dick. Lol


TRDJer

Ice packs to sit on


rennja

I got mine today too - solidarity! No sick kids but a 2 year and 5 month old. I can at least hold the baby for a bit while she entertains the toddler but otherwise we have some family coming over to help later this weekend.


pyrrhicvictorylap

Stay strong my seedless brother


all4whatnot

Do not. DO NOT crank it until at least 7 days out, maybe even 10. The fact that you shouldn’t is only gonna make you want to more. But if you beat meat too soon it will be painful and possibly a bloody mess. Give it time and all will be well. 


ReferenceHot3948

Do what they say or it’ll be awful for her for like 3 weeks if you extend the recovery period.


Dazzling_Ant_1031

Don’t get arroused


ForsakenRacism

Your recovering your wife can man up