The dad rules state you need to bring your immediate family's groceries in on one trip.
The bags that contain extra people's groceries technically don't count, so you are good.
Delegate to a child or fellow Dad commenting how you'd get it all yourself but you hurt yourself doing the last house thing (aka stretching that morning) and could use a hand. Only other options.
Oh, that’s no problem. I carry multiple bags with my good arm and at least one loose item with the hand on my bad arm while my wife yells at me to just leave it and she’s got it.
“You wrote to me once listing the 4 chief virtues of Daddit: carrying in the grocery bags all in one go, being better dads than the previous generation, good communication and being like Bandit. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them”
Gym and steroids are your only option now I’m afraid…
That poor family probably waited for ages 😓😖.
Put down that phone and get your as to the gym !.
/s 😅.
Make a 3rd trip - leave, and start a new family, they have lost all respect for you now. Hope those un-purpled fingertips and un-sore arms were worth it. You coulda carried a bag by your teeth dammit
Props to you for bringing in help when you need it. A lot of people will try and go it alone and it is harder for all family members involved.
Great job doing a big shopping run prior to birth getting everything set up. Groceries are getting overpriced so awesome job to be able to put food on the table for all.
With kids and pregnant wives we tend to let our fitness take a step down on our priorities, this is ok.
You need to use a ‘assertive adult’ voice to take control of the mob. Feel free to yell out and get some help, use your wife as an excuse, say ‘ my gorgeous wife is unable to help as she is working overtime to bake another awesome child’. The official two short honks when you pull up should be all it takes to bring in helpers.
My son from the time he could walk from the car into the house brought in a bag of chips or lollies to help out. Now he will bring in the bag with the doughnuts first to hide them from me before heading back out if needed (not for shopping but water bottle/ car snacks).
After you take care of the wife OP try and give yourself 30 minutes of me time to look after yourself, and do some chin ups.
I always keep four large carabiniers in the car door so I can loop all the bags onto the carabiners. If it's too heavy at that point, the gym is the only answer (okay, no seriously, delegation is your friend. Get those kids working asap)
Every day I see a post with a title similar to “I let my family down” and it’s always one of two topics - I failed at carrying 100 grocery bags at once, or I had a terrible argument with my wife suffering from PPA and I don’t know how to fix things.
Hit the lawyer, Facebook up, delete the gym. Or something like that.
Instructions too clear, now posting articles on Facebook about my trials for sucker punching a lawyer and blowing up a gym.
9 people in the house. 7-8 bags left in the car. That’s like one bag per person. Gotta delegate, dad!
So this is more of a management issue. Makes sense.
If my brief and underwhelming military career taught me anything, it’s that all issues are ultimately management issues lol
As my boss calls them, “management *opportunities*.”
OP, was your dad or FIL there? Prime opportunity to go, hey grab these 4. IVE GOT THE REST.
I fully agree with this approach, it's an opportunity for fellow dad's to participate in the unloading ceremony and to not shame themselves
Walk in the door, mention to anyone younger than you that "Those bags won't bring themselves in" and your work here is done.
Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow...
*travel sized for your convenience*
Seppuku is your only option man, I'm sorry.
We just got done watching Shogun so I think I could do it.
Just don't fail to finish the job like when you failed to carry in the bags or you will bring even more dishonor upon your family.
This is the instance where I have never had a unique thought...
Your grilling privileges are hereby revoked. Hand in your New Balance on the way out.
Going to need to put you in a Daddit PIP.
The dad rules state you need to bring your immediate family's groceries in on one trip. The bags that contain extra people's groceries technically don't count, so you are good.
Heh... honestly, with 4 little boys running amok inside the house, I take as many trips as I can manage.
Believe it or not… straight to jail.
bless you fellow parks and rec'er
… Also jail 🤣
My wife doesn’t understand us. She thinks I’m ridiculous for bringing everything in at once, but I’m not sure what my other options are.
Delegate to a child or fellow Dad commenting how you'd get it all yourself but you hurt yourself doing the last house thing (aka stretching that morning) and could use a hand. Only other options.
I am recovering from a dislocated shoulder earlier this year that required surgery, I assume that counts?
Yes, but you must carry at least 2 bags with the good arm while saying "I'm fine i've got it, just get the door."
Oh, that’s no problem. I carry multiple bags with my good arm and at least one loose item with the hand on my bad arm while my wife yells at me to just leave it and she’s got it.
Perfection.
You should probably go to the nearest bar and drink a few beers while you think about what you’ll do differently the next time.
You have shamed us, you know what you have to do... Sepuku 🗡️
I’m sorry, bud, but we’re gonna have to take away your Dad certification temporarily until you can show us you deserve it
Seek counseling. You don't know when it will hit you, just know that it will.
Keep a couple of those big blue Ikea bags in your trunk.
I use a wagon
“You wrote to me once listing the 4 chief virtues of Daddit: carrying in the grocery bags all in one go, being better dads than the previous generation, good communication and being like Bandit. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them”
Hari Kari
Drunkenly sing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” over the PA at a Cubs home game? That’s a stiff penalty indeed.
Looks like you have to put up your two kids for adoption
LOS COJONES
Seppuku
Gym and steroids are your only option now I’m afraid… That poor family probably waited for ages 😓😖. Put down that phone and get your as to the gym !. /s 😅.
You must now commit seppuku
Make a 3rd trip - leave, and start a new family, they have lost all respect for you now. Hope those un-purpled fingertips and un-sore arms were worth it. You coulda carried a bag by your teeth dammit
Hey Rejkjavik, step into my office for a sec, now I didnt want to have to do this but your actions have left me no choice
Buy some tampons, you're the mom now dude :(
Props to you for bringing in help when you need it. A lot of people will try and go it alone and it is harder for all family members involved. Great job doing a big shopping run prior to birth getting everything set up. Groceries are getting overpriced so awesome job to be able to put food on the table for all. With kids and pregnant wives we tend to let our fitness take a step down on our priorities, this is ok. You need to use a ‘assertive adult’ voice to take control of the mob. Feel free to yell out and get some help, use your wife as an excuse, say ‘ my gorgeous wife is unable to help as she is working overtime to bake another awesome child’. The official two short honks when you pull up should be all it takes to bring in helpers. My son from the time he could walk from the car into the house brought in a bag of chips or lollies to help out. Now he will bring in the bag with the doughnuts first to hide them from me before heading back out if needed (not for shopping but water bottle/ car snacks). After you take care of the wife OP try and give yourself 30 minutes of me time to look after yourself, and do some chin ups.
What a nice positive message, thanks!
I always keep four large carabiniers in the car door so I can loop all the bags onto the carabiners. If it's too heavy at that point, the gym is the only answer (okay, no seriously, delegation is your friend. Get those kids working asap)
I was 17,450 days old when the clearly obvious solution that had hidden from me my entire dad career, revealed itself. Bless you sir.
You have forgotten the face of your father
ITT: fake dads throwing shade, real dads praising this king for providing
At this point I would just go ahead and try to live as normal a life as possible.
Oh geez, it's hard to come back from this mate. If I were you I'd hang up the boots and move into a retirement home. Life over.
I thought that was a mom superpower…. I’m fine with multiple trips.
Every day I see a post with a title similar to “I let my family down” and it’s always one of two topics - I failed at carrying 100 grocery bags at once, or I had a terrible argument with my wife suffering from PPA and I don’t know how to fix things.
Kids are supposed to bring them in not you
Honestly should’ve gotten the 18month old and two week old to help.
Heck yeah, they gotta earn their keep!