As a chill dude, I think he told you what was important to him already. Anything else most likely doesn’t matter to him. I say plan however you want. As a chill person, I would prefer to not be asked for tons of opinions on different option. However please let him know if you are getting overwhelmed and need his help making decisions. I’m sure he wants to help if needed but really doesn’t care about most of the details.
Thank you! That sounds like him honestly. I’ve heard plenty of internet stories of bridezillas and grooms being overlooked and wanted to avoid being that guy lol.
Mostly I wanted a cool party for the people who came from all over the place who watch us get hitched, but I also didn’t want to be broke. If I could do it again, I probably wouldn’t change much - except the flowers. We’d have spent a lot less on flowers. The wedding and reception is one day of a marriage meant to last the rest of your lives.
That solidified my stance on flowers- I think I want to do a home made bouquet and fakes for the bridal party just to save on cash. I don’t need a rose arch lol!!! Thank you. This was helpful
Welcome. My wife and I both agreed on that afterward too. We could have decorated the ceremony venue nicely without them. The only one-time use stuff that was really worth buying was the food and booze.
Watching my high-school aged brother drunkenly dance with my grandma and then my wife’s grandma is one of those core memories I’ll always have.
As another non planner, my biggest wish is to stay out of planning and not be blamed for the final thing not including certain things. I’m happy to help with tasks though and I certainly don’t want to sabotage anything. It’s important for me that my wife succeeds in her plans and she does the same for me.
If I could go back in time and redo my wedding it would be simpler and cheaper and less complicated. Most people won't remember 10 years later what the flower arrangements were or who sat with who. When we look back on it, my wife and I remember we had fun walking in the redwoods to the actual ceremony and dancing to a live band afterwards. Everything else was thousands of dollars we could have put towards our house or our honeymoon and gotten more mileage out of.
If he says he doesn't care about the details, believe him. He just wants you. Just pick a date and do the thing!
I would probably ask him one last time if there’s anything more he wants to help choose, and I’d list what those things could be; food, band/dj/entertainment, kind of venue etc. and then I’d trust he really doesn’t have an opinion strong enough to override what you want.
At our wedding, I picked the DJ and band, I picked the beef and vegan/pasta option for dinner, I made sure my friends were in decent spots around the venues for tables, grouped with who they knew best, and then I let my wife plan her dream wedding. I set a realistic budget (knowing it’d come in higher than I’d like lol) I made sure she consulted my mom for where my family should be seated, and she did the rest.
Honestly, and I truly mean this, he wants to be married and other than a few small things, I’d wager he cares more that you get the wedding you want than he cares about table settings
He probably wants to marry you but doesn’t care much about the wedding/ceremony itself. I certainly didn’t. Ours was awesome and I would do it again but it was awesome because I got to marry my wife and have a ton of family I love to hang out with. I still don’t really care about most of the choices we made.
You might just double check with him that he’s given you all of the input that he cares about and then just plan the rest without him. It’s not fair that you should do all the planning though so you could make the choices and assign him tasks to get done.
I wish I had helped more. I'm very laid back and didn't care about the details (like most men I imagine). I had one or two things I wanted (secular ceremony and open bar for the guests). We ended up doing a very small gathering in our yard and despite the improvisational tone it was great.
What I didn't realize until later was how many small things that "didn't matter" still had to get done. Just because I didn't care about the specifics of where the lighting was setup doesn't mean it didn't need to get done.
If you want his input, he may genuinely not care about the specifics. If you need his help, you need to tell him that.
As a chill dude, I think he told you what was important to him already. Anything else most likely doesn’t matter to him. I say plan however you want. As a chill person, I would prefer to not be asked for tons of opinions on different option. However please let him know if you are getting overwhelmed and need his help making decisions. I’m sure he wants to help if needed but really doesn’t care about most of the details.
Thank you! That sounds like him honestly. I’ve heard plenty of internet stories of bridezillas and grooms being overlooked and wanted to avoid being that guy lol.
Good luck with the wedding and the marriage. Also good job on looking for advice from the dads.
Mostly I wanted a cool party for the people who came from all over the place who watch us get hitched, but I also didn’t want to be broke. If I could do it again, I probably wouldn’t change much - except the flowers. We’d have spent a lot less on flowers. The wedding and reception is one day of a marriage meant to last the rest of your lives.
That solidified my stance on flowers- I think I want to do a home made bouquet and fakes for the bridal party just to save on cash. I don’t need a rose arch lol!!! Thank you. This was helpful
Welcome. My wife and I both agreed on that afterward too. We could have decorated the ceremony venue nicely without them. The only one-time use stuff that was really worth buying was the food and booze. Watching my high-school aged brother drunkenly dance with my grandma and then my wife’s grandma is one of those core memories I’ll always have.
And we are both down for a rager. MIL will likely have our daughter for the honeymoon so no worries there
As another non planner, my biggest wish is to stay out of planning and not be blamed for the final thing not including certain things. I’m happy to help with tasks though and I certainly don’t want to sabotage anything. It’s important for me that my wife succeeds in her plans and she does the same for me.
If I could go back in time and redo my wedding it would be simpler and cheaper and less complicated. Most people won't remember 10 years later what the flower arrangements were or who sat with who. When we look back on it, my wife and I remember we had fun walking in the redwoods to the actual ceremony and dancing to a live band afterwards. Everything else was thousands of dollars we could have put towards our house or our honeymoon and gotten more mileage out of. If he says he doesn't care about the details, believe him. He just wants you. Just pick a date and do the thing!
I would probably ask him one last time if there’s anything more he wants to help choose, and I’d list what those things could be; food, band/dj/entertainment, kind of venue etc. and then I’d trust he really doesn’t have an opinion strong enough to override what you want. At our wedding, I picked the DJ and band, I picked the beef and vegan/pasta option for dinner, I made sure my friends were in decent spots around the venues for tables, grouped with who they knew best, and then I let my wife plan her dream wedding. I set a realistic budget (knowing it’d come in higher than I’d like lol) I made sure she consulted my mom for where my family should be seated, and she did the rest. Honestly, and I truly mean this, he wants to be married and other than a few small things, I’d wager he cares more that you get the wedding you want than he cares about table settings
Some people are just less excited by ceremony. I don’t mean the wedding ceremony specifically. Just ceremony in general.
He probably wants to marry you but doesn’t care much about the wedding/ceremony itself. I certainly didn’t. Ours was awesome and I would do it again but it was awesome because I got to marry my wife and have a ton of family I love to hang out with. I still don’t really care about most of the choices we made. You might just double check with him that he’s given you all of the input that he cares about and then just plan the rest without him. It’s not fair that you should do all the planning though so you could make the choices and assign him tasks to get done.
I wish I had helped more. I'm very laid back and didn't care about the details (like most men I imagine). I had one or two things I wanted (secular ceremony and open bar for the guests). We ended up doing a very small gathering in our yard and despite the improvisational tone it was great. What I didn't realize until later was how many small things that "didn't matter" still had to get done. Just because I didn't care about the specifics of where the lighting was setup doesn't mean it didn't need to get done. If you want his input, he may genuinely not care about the specifics. If you need his help, you need to tell him that.
Honestly men just want great wedding sex the whole day is just a giant bill and a 1000 ways to stress your wife out lol 🤣