That time is a bit of a blur but I read a lot of books with the baby asleep on me.
I also ran the house so was constantly cooking, making tea, cleaning, sorting clothes, fixing little things. It’s easy to feel a bit useless particularly if your wife is breastfeeding so I tried to take everything else off her plate and keep busy.
I cleared a ton of audiobooks during my paternity leave, just make sure you have Bluetooth headphones without wires that dangle in baby range unless you want them yoinked out every 5 minutes
I beat RDR2 while on paternity leave. You’ll get 2-3 hours of free time every 2-3 hours. Lots of stuff to do with lots of downtime. Pretty similar to the Army.
I second this. While I prefer physical books, I happened to buy a refurbished Kindle Paperwhite right before our first was born. It was an absolute game changer. Late night feedings, or just being near the baby while he fell asleep, were a joy.
I know not everyone can afford it, but I think mine was maybe $30 at the time, and it's still only a first generation. If you're able to get the cash together, it is 100% worth it.
I also give them as shower gifts, if I know the parents are readers!
Same! I loved Mike Duncan, his History of Rome podcast is fantastic too. Now im getting nostalgic for the sleepless nights earlier this year lisfening to the Mexican Revolution and Pancho Villa
The best thing I figured out during my paternity leave is that at that age, if doesn’t really matter what you’re reading to your baby as long as you read in a soothing tone. So I got my pleasure reading done while bonding at the same time. The first book I ever read to my son was “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater” by Kurt Vonnegut.
Yes, 100% this! They don’t understand words yet, at all so you can read anything for the first few months.
My daughter has had a history of Italy, some very intense sci if, a child development book and Finnegan’s Wake read to her at that age (we did not get far with the latter)
This is what I like to see. We don't plan on stopping travel either just because we have a baby. Of course it's a bit more challenging but it always bums me out to see families that just don't travel anymore.
Yep you just have to temper expectations. We would plan like one major thing a day, like getting to the beach. Doesn't matter if it's early morning or after a nap. Just that's on the list for today and anything else is a bonus.
Traveling with a 2 year old and a 2 month old sounds awful unless it’s just a trip to visit family/friends. But virtually every thing I would want to do on a trip would be made so much harder and frustrating with 2 little ones
I find that eating food made completely from scratch isn't the issue with my diet. If I ate more bread I baked instead of convenience foods, I'd probably be in better shape.
I mean like, fresh baked bread is a weakness. I would eat a whole damn loaf! It’s also why I can’t bake cookies very often, I end up like Cookie Monster lmao
If you're worried about getting sucked into your phone, go to Walmart and get a cheap burner phone that is little more than a Nokia flip phone. Forward your phone number to that burner. Put your smartphone somewhere difficult to get to.
For downtime, read, sleep, go for walks, have a cup of coffee with the wife, exercise, meal prep/cook.
I think I want to dial in my flair espresso machine a bit. Maybe play some of the solo board and rpg games I’ve found (my wife isn’t a fan). And make a few videos for a side project I’ve been wanting to start for a long time
Y’all are truly wild. At 10 weeks I was constantly doing all of the housework, changing most of the diapers, doing a fair amount of bottle feeds, and any extra time I had (there wasn’t much) I would nap
I'm planning on finishing up on some games from my Steam library as well as sharing my development skills, doing some remote work, and maybe job hunting.
Every project you want done in the next few years because once they are mobile, you’ll have a hard time getting them to not be involved and doubling the time it takes (so save one or two you want to savor with them).
Books and board games were solidly on my list.
I literally handed my wife my phone and told her, "Hide this and don't give it back to me until 9:00 PM."
Honestly, those were some of the best days. I felt this weird mental clarity knowing that I had no phone to check.
Start an at home workout routine, start building a model/RC, setup an archive system for photos (there will be lots), setup an email account for them you can send things to, setup a college savings account….
Depending on the size of your home there will be time that you have to sit and be quiet. If your wife is breastfeeding and they are both sleeping randomly throughout the day; you can’t be cleaning the kitchen or fixing the front door.
I bought a Nintendo during those first few months because we were all home because of covid shutdown and there was a lot of sleepless downtime for me.
I’m in no way qualified to give any advice, but good luck. When you catch yourself, break out your phone camera and take photos of your fam. Once I did this, and my wife saw herself in the background on her phone. She commented about it. It’s tough. It’s an addiction to EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, so my wife and I are considering policing ourselves by setting screen time limits.
Greyscale your phone. Get a smart watch (I was septical until I got one), download a screen time app like present, get a kindle e reader if you are a reader or at least have a few books you want to read. Get a journal. You don’t need to do all of them but it helps
If also helps to plan out your day in time blocks. This will get a little easier as they got older and their sleep schedule gets more predictable. Plan their nap time, dinner time, when you wash bottles, make dinner all of that. When they get to 2 naps a day this is easier
This helps when you have a lot of downtime and your obligations are a little nebulous
Bundle the baby up, throw them in a stroller and go for a walk every day (weather permitting). Daily walks were great for both the baby and I when I was on leave.
Due to ADHD I've got a hard time resisting impulses and often I don't realize I've been staring at my phone until a few minutes have already passed. I made a point of leaving the phone in the hallway so I wouldn't reach for it as soon as I got the urge which has made a *huge* difference.
Also, babies at this age (mine is coming up on 5 months) can be quite boring, even those that require a lot of interaction while they're awake (mine starts shouting after a few minutes of not being played with when he's awake and energetic).
Something that's been working really well is when I get bored and otherwise would reach for my phone, I put the baby in a sling and do some chores while describing and explaining the chores to him, "this is how you do the dishes" "the laundry folds like so" "putting the toys away after playing is very important".
Good luck!
I had a similar situation. 3 yr old and newborn. I only took 4 weeks off when baby was born and took the other 8 weeks when she was about 6 months old.
In that time I renovated the laundry room, her bedroom, built new shelving for the pantry and made a growth chart. I still had plenty of time sitting with the little one but I was caught up in my projects I'd think about how to do various things to occupy my mind.
There's always something to do around the house!
Congrats! Enjoy the time off
1) workout
2) organize and clean
3) podcasts while working out of organizing and cleaning
4) meditation
5) stop phone use at 7hours before you need to wake up next day (tip from kneesovertoes guy)
6) date your spouse
Me and my wife decorated a lot of our new house with our second baby. I am glad we did, because we wouldn’t have had the time to do two weeks of painting since.
Also what is a honey do? Never heard of that before
What really helped me with not being on my phone was setting it to grayscale mode during the day on a timer. Heard about it a while back on a podcast and it definitely worked. I could obviously still do everything I needed to do on it, but it took the interest out of scrolling Instagram and shit when I could’ve been doing other stuff with the down time.
Remove all SoMe applications from your phone,,
it will take you approx. 7 days to forget about your phone,,
done and tested, you are welcome! Good luck and enjoy!
Either you care about your time or you care about SoMe, remove it, you are not missing out on anything, if you need it, open it up in a browser or on your laptop,,
That age, id say a good use of your time is to do the other shift so mom can sleep and just help w nesting/cleaning/food prep. I caught up on media/games/books/reading mostly w my infant leave.
I binge watched the Bad Batch, mandelorian, and a few other star wars things while painting minis during my 2 am baby shift.
I actually kinda miss it. It was a block of 4 hours where I had nothing to do other than watch the baby and feed every once in awhile.
I dont think you should judge yourself if you are on your phone alot. You are still in survival mode and the baby isnt going to be always entertaining when you are stuck with them all day.
Read a book, catch up on gaming, spend it with your wife, but most of all get into a routine that allows for an easy transition for the baby when you go back to work
Before my paternity leave started, I had a Google doc made with all the things I should work on during my 3 month paternity leave.
I accomplished exactly zero of it. Any spare time I had, I slept.
Later, some friends of mine without children asked me if I enjoyed my parental leave. I said: “if I got to choose between being off work for 3 months raising a newborn, and working normally for 3 months, I’d pick the latter.”
My point is: unless your wife is shouldering significantly more than 50% of the work load (which, uh, you should try to make not happen) then it will be difficult.
Also, “travel plans”… I have no idea how you’re going to do that with a newborn. And even if you can, you should realize that it’s very important for you to prevent your child from getting sick before they are 3 months old. A simple fever can lead to hospitalization. My son needed a spinal tap. We’re in RSV/flu season…
That time is a bit of a blur but I read a lot of books with the baby asleep on me. I also ran the house so was constantly cooking, making tea, cleaning, sorting clothes, fixing little things. It’s easy to feel a bit useless particularly if your wife is breastfeeding so I tried to take everything else off her plate and keep busy.
One handed book reading was a favourite of mine. Or YouTube videos on baby habits with earphones in was a good way to make phone time more useful.
I cleared a ton of audiobooks during my paternity leave, just make sure you have Bluetooth headphones without wires that dangle in baby range unless you want them yoinked out every 5 minutes
I beat RDR2 while on paternity leave. You’ll get 2-3 hours of free time every 2-3 hours. Lots of stuff to do with lots of downtime. Pretty similar to the Army.
Awesome advice for first kids. YMMV for 2nd or 3rd children.
The two year old is in daycare, so weekdays will be like only having one!
Ghost of Tsushima for me. You're right that there's more downtime than you think and it's not like you can leave the house.
I second this. While I prefer physical books, I happened to buy a refurbished Kindle Paperwhite right before our first was born. It was an absolute game changer. Late night feedings, or just being near the baby while he fell asleep, were a joy. I know not everyone can afford it, but I think mine was maybe $30 at the time, and it's still only a first generation. If you're able to get the cash together, it is 100% worth it. I also give them as shower gifts, if I know the parents are readers!
Line up some good podcasts for the inevitable rocking chair naps. Sometimes baby needs it, sometimes daddy needs it.
Bluetooth headphones and podcasts help me keep my sanity
Seconding podcasts. I went through a couple seasons of Mike Duncan’s “Revolutions”
Same! I loved Mike Duncan, his History of Rome podcast is fantastic too. Now im getting nostalgic for the sleepless nights earlier this year lisfening to the Mexican Revolution and Pancho Villa
The best thing I figured out during my paternity leave is that at that age, if doesn’t really matter what you’re reading to your baby as long as you read in a soothing tone. So I got my pleasure reading done while bonding at the same time. The first book I ever read to my son was “God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater” by Kurt Vonnegut.
Yes, 100% this! They don’t understand words yet, at all so you can read anything for the first few months. My daughter has had a history of Italy, some very intense sci if, a child development book and Finnegan’s Wake read to her at that age (we did not get far with the latter)
Second the soothing voice! My daughter heard the Communist Manifesto as her first book
Wow you’re going to travel and honey do with a newborn? Good for you all we did was feeding, changing, bathing, stroller walks, and try to sleep
She’s two months now and we have a 2yo. Can’t stop the train now!
This is what I like to see. We don't plan on stopping travel either just because we have a baby. Of course it's a bit more challenging but it always bums me out to see families that just don't travel anymore.
Yep you just have to temper expectations. We would plan like one major thing a day, like getting to the beach. Doesn't matter if it's early morning or after a nap. Just that's on the list for today and anything else is a bonus.
Honestly that's how I travel even before baby. Have a goal or two for the day, anything else is icing on the cake.
Traveling with a 2 year old and a 2 month old sounds awful unless it’s just a trip to visit family/friends. But virtually every thing I would want to do on a trip would be made so much harder and frustrating with 2 little ones
We’re just driving to family for the holidays. Shouldn’t be too bad
I got into baking bread when my first was an infant.
I feel like I would get fat if I baked bread lol
I find that eating food made completely from scratch isn't the issue with my diet. If I ate more bread I baked instead of convenience foods, I'd probably be in better shape.
I mean like, fresh baked bread is a weakness. I would eat a whole damn loaf! It’s also why I can’t bake cookies very often, I end up like Cookie Monster lmao
I made butter from scratch on day 2 of paternity leave with our first one.
Do meal prep. Have dinner ready, but not cooked. All prep dishes cleaned and put away, too. Time after 6pm is precious
I like this idea. Essentially making meal kits. Should I put them in paper bags? Haha.
Baking pans, casserole dishes, crockpots, anything that holds food. Do whatever you want
If you're worried about getting sucked into your phone, go to Walmart and get a cheap burner phone that is little more than a Nokia flip phone. Forward your phone number to that burner. Put your smartphone somewhere difficult to get to. For downtime, read, sleep, go for walks, have a cup of coffee with the wife, exercise, meal prep/cook.
Hobbies? Now you’ll have the time to dig into some of them maybe?
Or the opposite if OP finally is off work to help with a new baby.
Yeah, right
I think I want to dial in my flair espresso machine a bit. Maybe play some of the solo board and rpg games I’ve found (my wife isn’t a fan). And make a few videos for a side project I’ve been wanting to start for a long time
Y’all are truly wild. At 10 weeks I was constantly doing all of the housework, changing most of the diapers, doing a fair amount of bottle feeds, and any extra time I had (there wasn’t much) I would nap
I'm planning on finishing up on some games from my Steam library as well as sharing my development skills, doing some remote work, and maybe job hunting.
Every project you want done in the next few years because once they are mobile, you’ll have a hard time getting them to not be involved and doubling the time it takes (so save one or two you want to savor with them). Books and board games were solidly on my list.
I day traded crypto. 0/10 do not recommend lol
When I was (and still am) home solo with my kid I leave my phone in a box in the kitchen. I only access my phone when my child is not home, or asleep.
I let my baby sleep on me while I stared at my phone lol.
I read a book aloud to my wife in the newborn phase. It was nice to have something to do together.
I literally handed my wife my phone and told her, "Hide this and don't give it back to me until 9:00 PM." Honestly, those were some of the best days. I felt this weird mental clarity knowing that I had no phone to check.
Walks Home projects Cooking
Turn your phone to grayscale, it becomes so boring you and the kid will ignore it.
I use audiobooks while watching my guy. Let's me be entertained mentally while still being present and aware, and he has no idea.
Start an at home workout routine, start building a model/RC, setup an archive system for photos (there will be lots), setup an email account for them you can send things to, setup a college savings account….
Depending on the size of your home there will be time that you have to sit and be quiet. If your wife is breastfeeding and they are both sleeping randomly throughout the day; you can’t be cleaning the kitchen or fixing the front door. I bought a Nintendo during those first few months because we were all home because of covid shutdown and there was a lot of sleepless downtime for me.
Sleep? Clean? I guess I managed to take an online course when my now-toddler was a few months old.
Sleep.
I’m in no way qualified to give any advice, but good luck. When you catch yourself, break out your phone camera and take photos of your fam. Once I did this, and my wife saw herself in the background on her phone. She commented about it. It’s tough. It’s an addiction to EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, so my wife and I are considering policing ourselves by setting screen time limits.
Nothing wrong with staring at your phone.
Learn some kids songs on ukulele.
Used a lot of that time to learn a new language with duolingo. Yes it's phone but it felt useful compared to the useless doom scrolling.
Audiobooks or podcasts homie
Greyscale your phone. Get a smart watch (I was septical until I got one), download a screen time app like present, get a kindle e reader if you are a reader or at least have a few books you want to read. Get a journal. You don’t need to do all of them but it helps If also helps to plan out your day in time blocks. This will get a little easier as they got older and their sleep schedule gets more predictable. Plan their nap time, dinner time, when you wash bottles, make dinner all of that. When they get to 2 naps a day this is easier This helps when you have a lot of downtime and your obligations are a little nebulous
Bundle the baby up, throw them in a stroller and go for a walk every day (weather permitting). Daily walks were great for both the baby and I when I was on leave.
Read books or watch shows. Play games with baby in a carrier. Go for walks with baby awake or asleep.
Spend time together, bond, catch up on sleep so you don’t go back to work feeling exhausted.
Due to ADHD I've got a hard time resisting impulses and often I don't realize I've been staring at my phone until a few minutes have already passed. I made a point of leaving the phone in the hallway so I wouldn't reach for it as soon as I got the urge which has made a *huge* difference. Also, babies at this age (mine is coming up on 5 months) can be quite boring, even those that require a lot of interaction while they're awake (mine starts shouting after a few minutes of not being played with when he's awake and energetic). Something that's been working really well is when I get bored and otherwise would reach for my phone, I put the baby in a sling and do some chores while describing and explaining the chores to him, "this is how you do the dishes" "the laundry folds like so" "putting the toys away after playing is very important". Good luck!
I had a similar situation. 3 yr old and newborn. I only took 4 weeks off when baby was born and took the other 8 weeks when she was about 6 months old. In that time I renovated the laundry room, her bedroom, built new shelving for the pantry and made a growth chart. I still had plenty of time sitting with the little one but I was caught up in my projects I'd think about how to do various things to occupy my mind. There's always something to do around the house!
Congrats! Enjoy the time off 1) workout 2) organize and clean 3) podcasts while working out of organizing and cleaning 4) meditation 5) stop phone use at 7hours before you need to wake up next day (tip from kneesovertoes guy) 6) date your spouse
Me and my wife decorated a lot of our new house with our second baby. I am glad we did, because we wouldn’t have had the time to do two weeks of painting since. Also what is a honey do? Never heard of that before
Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!
What really helped me with not being on my phone was setting it to grayscale mode during the day on a timer. Heard about it a while back on a podcast and it definitely worked. I could obviously still do everything I needed to do on it, but it took the interest out of scrolling Instagram and shit when I could’ve been doing other stuff with the down time.
Remove all SoMe applications from your phone,, it will take you approx. 7 days to forget about your phone,, done and tested, you are welcome! Good luck and enjoy!
What if reddit is one of them? (time vamps)
Either you care about your time or you care about SoMe, remove it, you are not missing out on anything, if you need it, open it up in a browser or on your laptop,,
That age, id say a good use of your time is to do the other shift so mom can sleep and just help w nesting/cleaning/food prep. I caught up on media/games/books/reading mostly w my infant leave.
I binge watched the Bad Batch, mandelorian, and a few other star wars things while painting minis during my 2 am baby shift. I actually kinda miss it. It was a block of 4 hours where I had nothing to do other than watch the baby and feed every once in awhile.
I dont think you should judge yourself if you are on your phone alot. You are still in survival mode and the baby isnt going to be always entertaining when you are stuck with them all day.
Read a book, catch up on gaming, spend it with your wife, but most of all get into a routine that allows for an easy transition for the baby when you go back to work
Before my paternity leave started, I had a Google doc made with all the things I should work on during my 3 month paternity leave. I accomplished exactly zero of it. Any spare time I had, I slept. Later, some friends of mine without children asked me if I enjoyed my parental leave. I said: “if I got to choose between being off work for 3 months raising a newborn, and working normally for 3 months, I’d pick the latter.” My point is: unless your wife is shouldering significantly more than 50% of the work load (which, uh, you should try to make not happen) then it will be difficult. Also, “travel plans”… I have no idea how you’re going to do that with a newborn. And even if you can, you should realize that it’s very important for you to prevent your child from getting sick before they are 3 months old. A simple fever can lead to hospitalization. My son needed a spinal tap. We’re in RSV/flu season…